Slave of Sondelle DNF@4%

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Title: Slave of Sondelle
Series: -----
Author: Bevan McGuiness
Rating: 1 of 5 Stars
Genre: SFF
Pages: Abandoned
Format: Kindle digital edition

My Thoughts:

Excerpt:

Chapter 1
He stopped digging.
     The only sound he heard was his own laboured breathing; his panting breath disturbed the dirt in front of his face. The darkness was total - he could not see his own hands, or the blood he knew was welling from his torn nails and scraped knuckles. He lifted his head head slightly, bumping on the top of the tunnel.
     There it was again - that sound. With an effort, he controlled his breathing, trying to listen for whatever it was he'd heard twice now. His heart thumped in his chest, but he managed to quieten its frantic pace with a calming exercise he'd learned. In the silence, he listened again.
     Dripping. Was it water? A moment's fear swept over him. Where was he? Had he gone too far? Was there a river or a lake nearby? His fingers gripped the dirt, feeling the moistness. Had he been wrong to assume the moisture was his blood? In the dark, with the earth all around him, he felt the panic start to take hold.

/End Excerpt
(all grammatical errors are probably mine as I typed the above out by hand)

If you don't have a problem with pages of that style of writing, then this book just might be for you. It did not improve but stayed at that level or even descended a bit. I quit when the MC started fighting some monster.  Technically correct writing isn't enough, you need to be able to handle words like a dance partner. If I had to describe this book, or the short portion I managed to get through, as a dance, I would describe it as 2 uncoordinated teenagers who have seen a waltz and are trying to dance it from that memory.

Not pretty at all if you actually know how to waltz or have seen professionals dancing.

Not bad at all for an indie really. However, this was not an indie release. This was a Big 5 Publisher release. It rather shocked me that something like this passed muster. Well, on to the next book.
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