The Spice(drops) Must Flow

In preparatory celebration of Dune: Part 2 releasing in theatres this coming Friday, I thought I would do a fun little post where I blabbed. As opposed to all those other posts where I’m just a big ball of frowniness and generally stay as silent as the grave. You remember, that post where I just sat there and stared at you and totally judged you for not commenting on my post that had nothing in it? Oh, NOW you remember? Good. Don’t let it happen again, ok? Because otherwise I’ll have to unleash the beast and he’ll cram spicedrops down your throat until you are addicted as Paul was to the spice.

Because if you think about it, there’s really not that much difference between Spicedrops and the Spice.

One of them comes out of a giant worm’s butt and one of them comes out of a giant factory’s extrusion machine. It’s really the same thing, especially in principle. Secondly, both of them can kill you if you take too much of it, especially if you’re Special and are blessed/cursed with Type 1 Diabetes/AretheChosenOne (those are really the same thing too if you want to get technical). Thirdly, they are both addictive. While wars have not been fought over the Spicedrops (yet!), that is because the supply is almost unlimited. You just wait until the masses can’t buy them in the grocery stores anymore and THEN you’ll see rioting never seen except when a Star Wars movie blasphemy is released. But enough of that sad sack talk. This is supposed to be a happy post!

Now, you might be wondering how I came to this decision. Well, I’ll be honest. It was a miracle, plain and simple! I woke up one morning and before me was A Sign.

Not even Jonah himself could ignore a sign like that! Well, he could, and did, hence the whole Jonah and the whale scenario. But I’m way smarter than Jonah. No getting eaten by a whale for me, thank you very much. Or even a big sandworm. I’m also much smarter than that dummkopf Liet Kynes.

Therefore, as the Prophesied One, I declare today to be the start of Party Hardy Month! We will move to a lunar calendar, thus giving us 13 months in the year. There will be January, February, Party Hardy, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, Bookstoogetober, November and December. I’m not your run of the mill Prophesied One. When I want something, I roll up the sleeves of my Mystery Robe and get to work. I don’t expect the world to change on a dime just for me. I’ll do the changing TO it. On a quarter. Because I’m not a cheapskate.

So grab yourself a bag of The Spicedrops, watch Dune Part 2 and celebrate Party Hardy with me, Bookstooge the Prophesied One. It’ll be great! Or else….