The Currents of Space (Galactic Empire #2) ★★★☆☆

 

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Title: The Currents of Space
Series: Galactic Empire #2
Authors: Isaac Asimov
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 165
Words: 69K

Rik is a victim of soicumstances! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk….

I’m never going to re-read this, you’re never going to read it and I just don’t care. While a step better than the previous Galactic Empire book, that is because Asimov left out the romance angle. While the absence of something can make the whole better, it doesn’t mean that what is left is actually better. I’ve said it before, and I’m saying it now and I’ll say it again in the future, Asimov couldn’t write a full length novel to save his life.

His strength was in the short story, in the “Idea”. His anthologies are great. Some of the best SF out there in my opinion. But these Galactic Empire novels, well, they’re already on the dust heaps of history and sinking fast.

On a funny side note, every time I see the title all I can think of is Currants of Space. And I imagine The California Raisins in space suits playing their instruments, hahahahaa.

Thankfully, there is only one more book to go and I’m already girding up my loins to do battle. Conan AND Tarzan, combined, couldn’t do more loin girding that I am doing. And with that wonderful image, I shall say my goodbyes.

★★★☆☆

• All of My “Galactic Empire” Reviews

Three Doors to Death (Nero Wolfe #16) ★★★✬☆

 

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Title: Three Doors to Death
Series: Nero Wolfe #16
Author: Rex Stout
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Mystery
Pages: 151
Words: 65K

A collection of three novellas. I am finding that I do not enjoy these collections nearly as much as the full novels. There is nothing wrong with the novellas collected together but it is like getting one serving of eggnog (1/2cup, misers!) when I want to simply chug about 3cups worth of the stuff.

Plus, in one of the stories not only does Wolfe leave his house, but he goes blundering about in the dark, in the snow, through a stream, to break into a house. I found it too unbelievable. It would have been like me recommending the Tripitakas to all of you. Inconceivable!

I am tempted to skip all of the books with “Three” in the title so I don’t have to deal with this, but the fact is that I still do enjoy these and skipping them would make me sad. So it’s time to pull up my big boy pants and just read the books. All of them. The Great and Powerful Bookstooge will never be accused of not manning up.

★★★✬☆

• All My “Nero Wolfe” Reviews

Cain’s Last Stand (WH40K: Ciaphas Cain #6) ★★★✬☆

 

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Title: Cain’s Last Stand
Series: WH40K: Ciaphas Cain #6
Authors: Sandy Mitchell
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 326
Words: 110K

This really should have been called Ciaphas Cain versus Space Hitler. Cain is retired and teaching on the world where the Shadow artifact is and suddenly a chaos fleet is on its way to take over the planet and find the artifact. They are led by a small, dumpy guy with a small mustache who can turn even the most ardent Emperor Botherer (Cain’s description) into a full supporter of chaos, who is Space Hitler. It was pretty blatant and made me laugh. Unfortunately, he and Cain only have one encounter and Cain wins by pushing him over a cliff. Yeah, for real. And it made me laugh too. But I was hoping for more fighting between them. Oh well

You’d think from the title and the fact that Cain is in his late 100’s (hadn’t hit 200 yet I don’t think) that this was going to be the last book, but nope, there are at least 3 more and I think I saw that a 10^th one recently came out?
* elevator music *
Ok, so it was 2018, but that’s recent as far as I’m concerned.

I was pleased by my read of this and if I could find some more non-Space Marine Warhammer 40K stories, I’d be very tempted to dive into them after this series. Wanting to read more is usually a good sign.

★★★✬☆

• All My “Ciaphas Cain” Reviews

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #13 ★★☆☆☆

 

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Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #13
Authors: Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 47
Words: 2K

So, this is not written OR drawn by Eastman or Laird. Some guy I’ve never heard of is heading the helm. Don’t have a good feeling about this.

Space President Queen Chick ambushes Space President Peasant Chick, who crashes to Earth and is rescued by the boys. Space Elections are apparently decided by combat. So everybody fights and President Peasant defeats President Queen by branding her with what appears to be a weiner brand (seriously, I kid you not). President Peasant promises justice and fairness for everyone and the local Space Spaceship takes her back to rule her planet. The end.

This was pretty bad. The story was about what I’d expect FROM a fifth grader and the artwork, well, it was on par with the number 2 pencil drawings I’ve seen so far. I’m going to give this series until #15 to improve and if it doesn’t (and I’m not very hopeful) then I’ll be cutting my losses and trying to find some other comic to read.

Once again, if anyone has any ideas for comics for me to try out, shoot me a comment please.

★★☆☆☆

• All My “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” Reviews

Better Off Dead (Victor the Assassin #4) ★★★☆☆

 

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Title: Better Off Dead
Series: Victor the Assassin #4
Authors: Tom Wood
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Action/Adventure
Pages: 257
Words: 115K

Victor helps out the daughter of a Russian Mob Boss who he used to have ties with. Said Mob Boss was also married to a woman who Victor loved from afar, because he knew no woman could survive being involved with him. So while the daughter isn’t his daughter, she is emotionally. And it turns out it is because the daughter read a legal brief that mentioned a high ranking British Intelligence woman who is trying to clean up her past, by any means necessary.

Lots of killing ensues. And car chases. And big russian mobsters getting cut to rags by corrupt american special forces. And Victor killing them in turn.

This series has a very simple premise and Wood does a good job of sticking to it and not trying to turn Victor into something he’s not. I appreciate that simplicity.

★★★☆☆

• All of My “Victor the Assassin” Reviews

Boyhood (The Russians) ★★★☆☆

 

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Title: Boyhood
Series: (The Russians)
Author: Leo Tolstoy
Translator: Unknown
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Autobiographical Fiction
Pages: 98
Words: 28K

A quick sketch of Tolstoy’s tween and teen years. I believe this is the middle part of a trilogy (childhood, boyhood and youth) and as such, should have been read together. This just abruptly ends after a chapter and that makes it obvious this was chopped up into the 3 volumes for no good reason. Also, this “complete collection” of Tolstoy’s works are put together alphabetically and thus it will be a little bit before I get to Childhood and VERY long time before I hit Youth.

This was a bit of a tough read because Tolstoy is honest about portraying himself as a teenager and man, I always forget what self-absorbed twat-heads teenagers are. There’s a reason I don’t even attempt to help out with middle or highschool sunday school :-D It doesn’t help that there is a good bit of class awareness going on here and that is so foreign to me that it’s very jarring. I also don’t know how much is straight biography and how much is fictional.

The ironic thing is I can identify with a LOT of what he writes, even from the teenage perspective. Self-absorbed introverts have a lot in common, no matter the country, the culture or the time they lived. Of course, I’m not going to go on and become a world famous author whose works live on to shape the future, but you know, I’m really ok with that. That would be a lot of pressure and I don’t mind saying I ain’t got no time for dat!

Judging this portion, Boyhood, on its own, I wouldn’t like Tolstoy as a person. But that’s true of most teens, so it doesn’t surprise me, hahahahaa :-D

On a final note, that cover is totally misleading. This book records him from about 12-15 or so. He’s not a child in this and I find the cover set my mind down a path of him being a child. Of course, the only other covers I could find showed him as a full adult with the big white russian beard, so that was even worse in my opinion.

★★★☆☆

• The Russians

• Leo Tolstoy

• Fyodor Dostoyevsky

• Ivan Turgenev

• Nikolai Gogol

James and the Giant Peach ★★★★★

 

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Title: James and the Giant Peach
Series: ----------
Authors: Roald Dahl
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Childrens Fiction
Pages: 131
Words: 26K

I don’t know what it was this time around, but this read was perfect in every sense of the word. It was amusing. It was appropriately macabre in the proper Dahl fashion (James’ aunts get squashed by the giant peach after all). It was silly. And it had a happy ending.

I doubt I’m ever going to re-read this again, and considering this was perfect this time around, I’m perfectly ok with leaving my memories of it in pristine condition. Sometimes when life is tough, you need a simple story where everything works out ok. That’s what this was for me this time around. I hand out a literal handful of 5stars each year, so when I do, you know I’m serious.

Sometimes life is hard. It can be messy and complicated and no path is the best one. As adults we all know this, have experienced it and we know we can’t shut our eyes and pretend it away. It doesn’t work that way. And we see what happens to people who do try to pretend it away. Drugs, drinking, excess in some form or another. But while I read this for the 60minutes it took, I could shut my eyes, take a breath, let it all slide from me and when I was done, head right back into the roles and responsibilities I have to deal with. This is why I read mainly fiction. It allows me to escape in a controlled manner. Let’s me catch my breath so I can keep on swimming.

★★★★★

• James and the Giant Peach (2012 Review)

• All My "Roald Dahl" Reviews

Violence of Action (Forgotten Ruin #3) ★★★☆☆

 

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Title: Violence of Action
Series: Forgotten Ruin #3
Author: Jason Anspach & Nick Cole
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Military Fantasy
Pages: 249
Words: 85K

Hey, would you look at that? There’s an actual story in this book! AND. I only counted 2 instances of Anspach and Cole (the authors) rimming the rangers. Talk about a relief.

So the rangers have to take down Smog the evil green dragon who is in an alliance with other evil powers that menace the kingdom of men. They take him out and rescue a bunch of captive elves and find the King of the Elves, who Last of Autumn is betrothed to. So no more googly eyes for the narrator at his elven lady love. Awww, so sad. Honestly, I was expecting her to die a horrible death, so at least this way she stays alive. Hard core military types are married to the Service and a wife comes in a distant second. Very few relationships can survive that.

This was the kind of story I was waiting for since the very beginning. Special Forces setting themselves an objective and then killing everything that stands in the way of them accomplishing that objective. I am definitely going to keep reading the series now but I simply can’t recommend it to anyone else. The first 2 books just destroy any chance of that. I’ve never been in this situation before, where the first couple of books are absolutely terrible and then improve dramatically. Usually I’m done with a series before that point (or it never does improve, which is what usually ends up happening).

I also can’t recommend starting here because then you’d be lost. Why is the Ranger Captain a were-tiger? Who is Last of Autumn and why is it so shattering to the narrator that they rescue her betrothed? Who is this evil Vampire SEAL? All of the big points get covered, so in that regards you could start here, but all those little things like what I mention, well, good luck. I guess this is for super-hard-core Anspach & Cole fans OR super duper military types who like annoying narrators. I’m glad I stuck through to this point but it pretty much ate up all the goodwill A&C have built up with me. They don’t get any more chances from me.

After the main story is a small “prequel” story that starts to introduce why everything in the Ruin is so Dungeons and Dragons. Long and short, a crazy genius woman, whose only good memories were of a summer when she got to play some D&D with other normal kids, goes off the rails completely and uses nanotech to start changing the world. It was complete “scyenze” but it sounded cool and was good enough for me. And since this is pure fiction and not “A Message From They Who Know Better Than Poor Plebian Me” masquerading as a story, I have no problem with said scyenze being used.

★★★☆☆

• All My “Forgotten Ruin” Reviews

Cop Hater (87th Precinct) ★★★✬☆

 

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Title: Cop Hater
Series: 87^th Precinct
Author: Ed McBain
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 112
Words: 49K

During a steamy hot summer, the 87^th Precinct is plagued by a rash of cop killings. 3 cops are killed in as many weeks, with one of them being Detective Steve Carella’s partner. After running clues to the ground and coming up empty, Steve gets a lucky break, finds the killer and it’s revealed the whole thing happened to cover up a woman having her husband killed so she wouldn’t have to divorce him.

Talk about misdirection! I was impressed. I was flabbergasted too. I know that I’m almost 70 years removed from the time this was written (it was published in 1956) and that divorce was one of those “social” sins of the time AND that I’ve read/watched this scenario before but it still blows my mind that someone will commit murder and view it as a better option than divorce. It’s like blowing up the court house because you don’t want to pay your speeding fine.

This was a nice short story with McBain focusing on what went on and not trying to give me every single characters back story or explain the city in block by block detail. You simply don’t need that bloat, you just want it. And here, McBain kicks your teeth in, tells you to sit down, shut up and read the fething story! Ahhh, if only readers of today could appreciate this sparse way of telling a story. I don’t think it was THAT great of a story but simply not having any bloat or author ego or message to wade through made this very enjoyable.

The 87^th Precinct series is really long one (I currently have access to 40 of them and I’m pretty sure there’s more) so I have decided to add 4 or 5 and then take a break between those little mini rotations. Keep it fresh.

The other thing was the main character’s name, Steve Carella. All I could think of was Steve Carell and so I saw him in his “The Office” role and that made for some really funny mental pictures, as Steve Carella is a tough, no-nonsense detective like Starsky or Hutch.

★★★✬☆

Davy Back Fight (One Piece #33) ★★★✬☆

 

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Title: Davy Back Fight
Series: One Piece #33
Arc: Water Seven #2
Author: Eiichiro Oda
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 227
Words: 10K

Luffy and his Straw Hats run into another pirate gang and end up playing three rounds of Davy Back Fight. The winner of each round can pick a crew member from the loser’s crew and make them part of the winner’s crew. The captain of the other pirates ate the slow-slow fruit and can shoot slow-beams that make people hit by it slow down. Fights ensue and poor Chopper (the reindeer doctor) gets passed back and forth like a bag of peanuts. The final fight comes down to Luffy and Captain Foxy. It’s a boxing match between pirate captains who both have gum-gum powers. Of course the volume ends before a winner emerges.

I must say, this was just over the top silly and I loved it. Captain Foxy isn’t a psychopathic killer, but more of a bumbling ne’erdowell who cheats outrageously every chance he gets.

I also noticed the length. At 227 pages, it “felt” long compared to the single issue comics I have been reading for the last couple of months. I think 200 pages is pretty optimal, as I didn’t have this same feeling with Fullmetal Alchemist #1, which clocked in just under 190 pages. I guess I’ve lost my manga edge and it will take a little bit to sharpen me back up :-D

Now, I mentioned over the top silly and I think the following picture exemplifies that:

Luffy is wearing an afro wig because Usopp tells him it will make his punches more powerful. That idea is played with for the rest of the fight and random pirates will ask “did the Afro make him more powerful?” in all seriousness. There were a couple of pages I was considering, but the above seemed to be the best one to get it all together in one page. And come on, how can you not laugh at at? Hahahahahahaaha :-D

★★★✬☆

• All My "One Piece" Reviews

Cat Magic ★★☆☆☆

 

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Title: Cat Magic
Series: ----------
Author: Whitley Strieber & Jonathan Barry
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Pages: 353
Words: 134K

Ooooooh boy. * puffs out cheeks *

I’ve never read anything by Strieber before and wanted to give his writings a go. I knew he was horror’ish or real life aliens or something weird, so I thought I was prepared. I had no idea.

I saw the subtitle for this book on a later edition and it was “A Tale of Modern Witchcraft”. I really wish I had seen that before deciding to start with this book. I guess if I could sum up this book I’d go with “sexual orgies while children watch and the only sin is Guilt itself”. Ughhh. There was a lot of theological ideas put forth that I really had to disagree with. Not in an angry way but more in a “are you serious?” way.

While I have a bunch of Strieber’s books on tap, I think I’m going to try his Omega Point duology next. It’s about aliens somehow. If he puts forth more bad theology though, I’ll be done with him. I have no idea who this Barry fellow is or what part he played in writing the story. I wonder if he did the heavy lifting though.

Overall, this was not a good first impression and I certainly won’t be recommending Strieber even if his later books improve.

★★☆☆☆

Universe 1 ★★☆☆☆

 

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Title: Universe 1
Series: Universe Anthology #1
Author: Terry Carr (ed)
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 213
Words: 63K

Man, I had forgotten what utter balderdash was written by hippy wannabe’s in the 70’s for SF. Bunch of prententious wanktards thinking sex and psychology are enough to sell a story without having to actually write a good story. There’s a reason most of the authors in this collection are completely forgotten today and probably made zero impact back in their own time. What a bunch of losers. People like them are what gave SF a bad name.

And yet.

There are at least 14 volumes in this series. I’ve got some random ones and despite my trashing above, I’m going to give the editor, Terry Carr, one more chance. But after this book, each one has to impress me or I’m dnf’ing the series and consigning Mr Carr to the dust bins of forgotten history, where he already appears to be though if I’m being honest.

★★☆☆☆

Groo and the Tale of King Sage (Groo the Wanderer #13) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Groo and the Tale of King Sage
Series: Groo the Wanderer #13
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K

The Sage, introduced in Groo #7, becomes the King of a small but prosperous country. Groo stumbles across said country and asks to be made a general of the armies. For some reason, the Sage can’t say no to Groo and thus makes him a general. To mitigate Groo’s “groo’ness”, he sends him off to guard the northernmost pass of the country. Along the way, Groo makes everyone become a farmer and thus brings discontent to the whole country. The Sage is deposed and beats Groo about the head to show his displeasure.

This was an amusing little story. AND IT ONLY COST 75¢. In comparison, Bone #16 cost $3, four times as much. And Aragones gives us not only an amusing story with a start, a middle and an end, but it is also in color. Now maybe the paper material itself was pulp and Bone was high quality paper? But let me tell you, if I had $3 in 1986, well, really, I’d probably spent it at the dollar bin at Bradley’s (a now bankrupt and defunct department store) buying star wars figurines, BUT if I were to spend it on comics, I’d choose 4 months of Groo over one month of Bone every single time. Even right now, I would choose the same exact thing, ie, star wars figures, then if you forced me, Groo comics, hahahaha :-D

I am also finding the ads just as fun as the stories. In this comic, there is an ad for Captain America: The Broadway Musical. I kid you not. And here’s the proof:

Now, that is even better than the ad for the Jetson’s I saw in the previous Groo comic! I did a google search and sure enough, Marvel did try to get Captain American onto the stage and they failed. I hope you all join me in thanks for that failure. Nobody needs to see Cap tippity tappitying around. It did make me wonder though, what kind of parent would just send in their kids info to some complete stranger they saw in a comic book? And what kind of little girl is reading Groo? Probably not one who sings and dances is my guess :-)

★★★✬☆

• All of My “Groo the Wanderer” Reviews

Mirrors (Hunter Bureau #1) ★★★☆☆

 

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Title: Mirrors
Series: Hunter Bureau #1
Author: Blaze Ward
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 146
Words: 49K

Sometime in the future, when mankind has almost destroyed himself, aliens give us a chance at survival. At a cost. We are no longer our own masters or owners of our own planet. While not in vile slavery per se, we ARE in servitude. We are the playground for aliens who can shape change and thus is born the Hunter Bureau.

Normally shape changers work alone, but this time they got smart. A pair come to Earth and one of them tries to take over a Hunter, only to be foiled by his own inexperience. He then takes over a retired Hunter while his partner begins setting things up so they can play in peace for years to come.

The problem is, the Hunter is no weak minded fool and the alien shape changer finds himself being taken over from the inside out. In the end, they form a mutual symbiosis and decide to hide the fact that the worlds top Hunter is now an alien shape changer. For the good of humanity of course.

The writing style for this book. Staccato. Bambambam. Like a gun. Going off. Right. In your ear. Choppy sentences. Cut off like a machete was taken to them. It was like the author was skipping whole sentences because he knew what he meant but as a reader it was incredibly frustrating. There were multiple instances where I had to read several paragraphs several times to figure out what in the world was going on. That’s just bad writing.

There were also a couple of key words that I only see used by people of certain political persuasions that I vehemently disagree with. I’ll be the first to admit that I could be reading too much into things, so I’m not giving that much weight in my judgment for this book. I didn’t even bother to record what they were so as not to take that idea with me into the next book.

The story itself was pretty interesting though. Realizing that the main character ISN’T the main character we thought he was amused me and I have to admit, I thought it was clever. In many ways, this reminded me of Timothy Zahn’s Quadrail series and the protagonist, Frank Compton. That same dry voice, that same almost emotionless state of being, it just struck me. But thankfully Ward does a bit better at characterization here so it’s not quite THAT dry or emotionless :-D

Good enough for 3stars and giving the next book a chance. By no means a great book or world changing though.

★★★☆☆

Santiago: A Myth of the Far Future (Santiago #1) ★★★★★

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Santiago: A Myth of the Far Future
Series: Santiago #1
Author: Mike Resnick
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 328
Words: 116K

Another re-read of an old favorite and thankfully, this time it stood the test. Like other “favorites” I had read this in highschool and Bibleschool multiple times and loved it. Read it again in ‘12 and loved it then too. But after my time in November of re-reading a couple of old favorites and finding them wanting, I went into this very hesitantly.

And wonder of wonders, it was grand and big and all space shoot’y and awesome and everything that I wanted in a Myth of the Far Future! It’s a simple story with simple characters and a simple universe. If you want massive backstories explaining every single detail, forget it. If you want characters with bio’s running from their childhood to the present, forget it. Use your own flipping imagination for once and Resnick will give you the ride of a lifetime here. I can see myself moving beyond this like I have the other books, but I am reveling in the fact that right now, it is still the same fantastic book as ever.

The other thing I’m going to talk about here are the various covers.

This is the cover of the mass market paperback that I read back in the 90’s. That orangey yellow is what made it stand out on the revolving book rack in the library. The guy with the funny haircut holding out the paper with the spaceship in the background promised mystery and adventure and cool stuff and boy howdy, I got all of that.

When Resnick turned his books into ebooks, I believe he had to use new covers because he didn’t own the rights to the originals. So he went with this stock photo (and he used it for the sequel ebook too) and overall, it works well. We’re dealing with Space and the farthest reaches of where mankind can go, so something haunting like this feeds into that idea.

This is the ebook cover this time around. Resnick is now dead, so I don’t know if he chose this before his passing or it ended up the decision of his estate. Either way, it’s rather blah and very homecomputer graphics looking. Why you would choose to read this book based on that cover is beyond me.

And that should wrap things up. Cheers!

★★★★★

• Santiago (2012 Review)

• All of My “Mike Resnick” Reviews

Eye of the Storm (Bone #16) ★★☆☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Eye of the Storm
Series: Bone #16
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 22
Words: 1K

We get 22 pages of Gran’ma Ben, Thorn and Fone Bone running in the dark and rain away from a huge swarm of rat creatures and Gran’ma Ben being all angry about the red dragon. Fone hollers out for the dragon’s help, it comes and chases the rat creatures away, disappears and Gran’ma reveals that the dragon doesn’t always come and that’s why she is so angry at it. The issue ends with a big text “Next: Gran’ma’s Story”.

Gotta admit, if I had paid the cover price of $3 and this was all I had gotten, I’d have screamed bloody murder, called Smith some foul and uncomplimentary names and quit Bone and begin an Anti-Jeff Smith crusade to destroy him for taking my hard earned money and giving me nothing but this. I do not know how this comic survived, I really don’t! Smith is milking this like it’s a pregnant holstein cow (the black and white ones you always see in movies or cartoons giving milk) and he’s doing it shamelessly. I was actually tempted to just stop myself right now in a show of solidarity with my imaginary self. But of course I didn’t pay $3 for this and I am going to keep reading. But knowing that the next couple of issues will be prequel stuff about Gran’ma Ben means that not only has the forward motion of the plot (which we really haven’t had any of for quite a few issues it seems) stopped, but now we’re going backwards. Sigh.

That being said, while I really do try to keep the author out of the story in how I rate or review things, my opinion of Smith is about at its lowest so far. What he gave me could have been done in about 5 pages and the story line advanced a bit more. When I started reading this individual issue by individual issue I was wondering why there were so many (I believe there are 55 issues) and now I know.

I realize you might be wondering why I don’t just dnf this or read them all at once and call it a day. The truth is that I couldn’t afford comics until my later teen years and thus never had the experience of reading something on a monthly basis. That experience is what I am trying to capture by reading this series this way. While it is voluntary on my part, back in the day it wasn’t voluntary and I want to know what that was like, frustrations and all. So that is why. Whether it makes sense to you or not :-)

★★☆☆☆

• All My "Bone" Reviews

Fullmetal Alchemist #1 ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Fullmetal Alchemist #1
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: Hiromu Arakawa
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 184
Words: 9K

I read the first volume of this back in 2007 but had just watched the original anime and it was so similar that I didn’t want to go over the same territory again. Of course, 15 years later the anime is a vague memory and I’d rather read the manga now than watch either the original or Brotherhood.

Ok, basic premise is a world with Alchemists who have “powers” and it’s all based on the laws of alchemy and equivalent exchange. We follow the adventures of the Elric brothers. Edward, who is the elder and the State Certified alchemist is known as the fullmetal alchemist because one of his legs and one of his arms is made up entirely of metal. His younger brother is Alphonse and he is nothing but a big empty suit of animated armor. Their condition came about when they tried to resurrect their dead mother and in the process almost died. They brought something back, but it wasn’t their mother and it doesn’t seem like it came back alive. So their goal now is to restore their bodies back to the way they were.

Within this world, some unnamed country has a very strong army and most of that strength is based on it’s cadre of Alchemists and their varying abilities. They seem to be in the middle of either building an Empire or consolidating one. But either way, nobody likes the Alchemists and the slang nickname for them is Dogs of the Army.

This volume had several standalone adventures about Ed & Al and introduces us to the idea of the Philosopher’s Stone. Said stone is able to bypass the natural laws and the Elrics hope to find it to restore their bodies. They find one, only it turns out to be fake and the guy who used it is being used by some inhuman appearing alchemists who go by the name Lust and Gluttony.

This was a very mixed volume of humor and super serious. It was odd but at the same time it worked for me. I think the following pix showcases that dichotomy rather well.

Ed has just knocked out a terrorist on a train and the two train drivers use the distraction to beat the everliving daylights out of the other terrorist with shovels. They they all give each other the thumbs up and the air is filled with “we are so awesome” symbols (the little stars). It’s ridiculous. But it is funny too.

I know some of my familiarity and non-confusion is because I watched the anime. I don’t know how the world building and character development would appear to someone reading this with no knowledge. I tried to view things through a lens of ignorance, and while I felt I did a pretty good job of that, some things were just impossible to not remember.

Overall, I had a much better impression this time around than I did in ‘07 and that gives me hope the rest of the series will turn out well too. I’m looking forward to diving into more of this as the months roll on.

★★★✬☆

• All My "Fullmetal Alchemist" Reviews

Conan the Invincible (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Conan the Invincible
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Authors: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 205
Words: 69K

In this story, a young Conan is hired to steal some jewels, that, unbeknownst to him, are magical in nature. A rival sorcerer to the one that hired Conan ends up stealing them instead and so Conan decides to track them down because a pleasure slave was also kidnapped and he liked the cut of her gib. Hooking up with bandits who are led by a hot tempered woman warrior, Conan and Co take on snake people, army people and rival sorcerous groups. Lots of death happens. Lots of nudity occurs. In the end, everybody pretty much gets what they deserve.

I enjoyed this. It was on par with some of the better stories by Maddox (I know that’s his middle name, but John Roberts is SOOOO boring) and it gives me hope that what Jordan writes overall will be a notch better. I’m not expecting miracles, as this is Conan after all, but I do hope for more consistency.

One thing I was NOT expecting was the comeuppance that the warrior woman gets at the end. She’d been a real witch the entire book and was NOT a good person, so it was with grim humor that I saw Conan leave her to her fate as a slave at the end. She totally deserved it. The sorcerer getting eaten by the cosmic horror god was right in line with what I expect to happen to sorcerers in a Conan story so I was glad not to be disappointed that way too.

On a completely different note I found a list of around 100 Conan books listed chronologically. That’s a lot of Conan to go around! But it gave me some more authors to hunt down in regards to Conan. What I’ve read so far I’ve enjoyed and I’d like to read as much as I can. I have decided that I’m not going to try to number the Conan books I read but just leave them as standalone stories. I’ll simply read them grouped by author and call that good enough. So far, Howard, Maddox and Jordan have all told standalone tales and I hope any other authors stick to that formula. It works well.

★★★✬☆

• The “Essential Conan” Trilogy

• All of My “Conan” Reviews