Showing posts with label Pulp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pulp. Show all posts

Sunday, October 27, 2024

The Romanoff Jewels (The Shadow #19) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Romanoff Jewels
Series: The Shadow #19
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 142
Words: 43K


Commies, Czar’ists and The Shadow all collide! Man, this was a weird read. Russian Royalty simply hasn’t been a part of our world close to 100 years now and so to read a story about it just after its heyday, still a force to be reckoned with, really threw me. It was kind of hard to take seriously too.

The Shadow really plays up the human factor in this story. He’s fully Lamont Cranston as much as he is the Shadow and he gets shot and beaten up and generally manhandled as any one person would in these circumstances. I’m used to The Shadow utterly triumphing, not surviving by the skin of his teeth.

I’ve never heard of the Romanoff Jewels, so everything about them, (a fabled stash of jewels representing the sum wealth of the Czars that was hidden away for their eventual return) was brand new and any info in the book I just took at face value. I did have some problem with the revelation that they were all fakes at the end. I had to roll my eyes at the naivete and stupidity of both commies and czarists thinking they were real. One jeweler is all it would have taken to prove things. It was shown that The Shadow’s ghirasol ring WAS one of the originals, and while it seems to have no purpose or function, it has a mystical mystique about it that in turn conferred such a feeling on the rest of the horde (that turned out not to exist). It would be like finding out that my food pantry was made up of a piece of wood from the Ark of the Covenant and that Putin and Kamala Harris were both after it.

Another good read and I enjoyed it. Overall, I don’t ever see myself re-reading these Shadow books, but that’s ok. Not every book is written to be re-read. Once and done is sometimes ok…

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

Click to Open

The lofty towers of the Kremlin loomed like spectral spires against a darkened sky. Senov – master spider in a web of espionage – was about to ensnare America in the most nefarious deal of all time: behind the guise of a trade detente, he and his treacherous American trusties will swap the Romanoff jewels for help in restoring the ancient Russian monarchy! Only a certain black-clad form, swept like the shroud of night itself across the oceans and mountains of a desperate world, could hope to challenge such global enemies… and from the mysteries of New York’s Cobalt Club to the thrills of a breathtaking submarine voyage the Shadow carves a dark and hidden path for the forces of justice: beware The Shadow as you beware the darkest unknown!

Wednesday, September 18, 2024

Dead Men Live (The Shadow #18) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Dead Men Live
Series: The Shadow #18
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 150
Words: 45K


We get to play in a full sized castle, In America!

The Shadow is American+Infinity!

The situation is one anyone familiar with Atlas Shrugged will recognize. Only instead of all the egghead geniuses being whisked away voluntarily, they are kidnapped and doppleganger corpses left in their place. They are then kept prisoner in the aforementioned castle and made to work on whatever it was that brought them to the attention of the bad guys.

The Shadow has one of his men infiltrate them, infiltrates the gang himself and then causes untold havoc. Guns blazing, fists flying, bodies lying dead all over the place. Just what the Dr ordered in fact.

One interesting thing about reading older books (this was published in the 1930’s, so almost 100 years ago) is you get to see “new” ideas and how they have no idea of the limitations yet. Much like fiction writers of today with their “dna’s” and “black holes” and “quarks” and other scyenze schizzle that they don’t actually understand beyond the most basic level (and that’s partly not their fault, because NOBODY understands the limits of those just yet). In this novel, it is plastic surgery. The bad guys kidnap hobos, etc, who bear a similarity to the people they want to kidnap, the doctor does his presto-chango magic plastic surgery on them and two days later they look just like the guy who is about to be kidnapped. Most of said hobos were then killed in some sort of fiery explosion to deal with fingerprints etc. And nobody is the wiser. I’m not knocking it, it’s just fun to see how those kind of things have change with the reality of the situation. Which is why I’m always skeptical of “scyence” people extrapolating something from a starting point that they barely understand themselves, much less non-specialists.

Another good thing about this story was that it was Harry Vincent’less. I do not like Harry. He’s the male version of Nell Fenwick, who only exists to get tied to train tracks and be rescued by Dudley Do-Right. Or in these books, The Shadow. So a story without Harry getting shot, bopped on the head, kidnapped or almost killed and then miraculously rescued by The Shadow is a good story in my opinion.

★★★✬☆


From Bookstooge.blog

Synopsis – click to open

A trio of criminal masterminds kidnap geniuses from various fields for their own personal gain. The Shadow gets wind of the plot and sends in his man Marston to stop it. He also personally gets involved. It ends with the 3 criminals dead, the geniuses rescued, 2 stepbrothers reconciled and The Shadow triumphant.

Sunday, July 21, 2024

The Five Chameleons (The Shadow #17) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Five Chameleons
Series: The Shadow #17
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 128
Words: 40K


This was probably the first book where the Shadow really takes a beating. He’s been shot before, but this time it’s to the point of incapacitation. Never seen him so weak, but he still kills the bad guys. That’s how it should be.

I was expecting more from the Chameleons. Turns out they are just crooks that can pretty much blend into any situation and become whatever the circumstances demand. In this case, it was a bank manager, some bank tellers and a mortician. Not quite what I had in mind from the title. But, the leader, the guy playing the bank manager, manages to out think the Shadow and shoots him. Of course, the author sets up “circumstances” so the gang can’t immediately shoot the Shadow dead, which gives him opportunity to revive and fight back. A knife to his throat would have been just as effective at that point and it would have been silent. Lesson Number 1 in Villainy is always make sure the Hero is dead, really, totally, utterly dead. Or else he’ll come back and get you. Just like the Shadow does 😀

Speed of communication is the lifeblood of a society. I wrote about it in Kalin (A Dumarest book) and it has shown itself throughout the Shadow books as well. The crooks plan depends on people and the Feds not finding out about the counterfeit money until they are long gone. They are planning on days and possibly weeks. The Shadow counters that with a highspeed plane that gets information to his confederates in a day and brings those same confederates back to help him out. It still amazes me how the speed of information changes a culture. How much faster can we get? I’m kind of afraid to find out…

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher & Bookstooge.blog

Synopsis – click to open

The Shadow seeks to unmask The Five Chameleons, master villains whose uncanny ability to blend with their surroundings rivals his own. Having hit upon a plan to funnel counterfeit money through a bank and steal genuine money, the scheme soon turns to murder and the Shadow becomes involved. He kills them all and saves the community.

Sunday, June 16, 2024

The Ghost Makers (The Shadow #16) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Ghost Makers
Series: The Shadow #16
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 120
Words: 37K


A bunch of scam artists pretend to be able to talk to the dead and bilk idiots out of their money. This is only possible if you don’t believe in soul sleep. Which I doubt any of you do. So prepare yourselves to get bilked, because the Amazing Bookstoogio will now do something that no one has ever done before.

I will end this review before it even gets started. Tada!

Now give me your money!

★★★✬☆


From Bookstooge.blog

Fake Mystics from India are fleecing the dumb and gullible nitwits here in the United States. The Shadow can’t stand for that, so he steps in and sends his own gullible nitwit against the fakirs, Detective Cardona. The whole gang is wrapped up and Cardona gets the accolades.

Saturday, May 11, 2024

Green Eyes (The Shadow #15) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Green Eyes
Series: The Shadow #15
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 158
Words: 48K


For whatever reason, I really enjoy when the Shadow goes up against a Chinese villain. Part of it is that those villains tend to be extremely smart and clever and aren’t reliant on guns and muscle alone (like many of the mob bosses the Shadow regularly takes down). They have a brain and they use it. At the same time Grant (the author) isn’t promoting the “Oldskool Gangsta” lifestyle. The badguys get theirs every time. But it feels like a battle between almost equals instead of just the Shadow mopping everything up like a janitor.

In this story, the Shadow is on the West Coast of the United States, in that most evil and iniquitous state called California. The Feds are hot on the trail of a supposedly pacifist Chinese cultural movement that plans to start a new empire. Massive drug smuggling is involved and the Shadow is captured, good and proper. Sadly, the Mastermind falls into the typical villain hubris and doesn’t immediately kill the Shadow. Remember kids, if you’re going to be a villain, kill the good guy immediately! No gloating, no monologues, no torture. Just kill him. Or else he will escape and get you. It always happens that way, and it happened that way here too. Of course, I was rooting for the Shadow, so that was a good thing.

My one big disappointment was that Green Eyes did not end up referring to a Femme Fatale. I was picturing some sort of Shadow’ized Catwoman’ish lady who could take on the Shadow and then fall hopelessly in love with him. Nope. Green Eyes simply refers to a guy who can mesmerize people with his eyes. Poop to that!

But the cover. Ohhhhhh, that cover. Pure Awesomesauce! Twin automatic .45’s, the only thing better is an assault shotgun.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

There is a criminal empire being run by a mad genius out of San Francisco’s Chinatown. Nobody knows who they are or when they will strike again. Only one man can bring down the vicious criminal operations. The Shadow!

Thursday, April 04, 2024

Hidden Death (The Shadow #14) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Hidden Death
Series: The Shadow #14
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 138
Words: 42K


Good enjoyable pulp. The Shadow has to take on the machinations of a dead genius who is apparently killing people from beyond the grave. At the same time, the police bring on an eminent psychologist because facts just aren’t enough apparently. And no surprise to anyone, said psychologist turns out to be a bad apple. Throw in a massive attack on the Shadow by the combined might of the lowlifes of the city and you have yourself a pretty good story.

I did notice how amateur everything is (except the Shadow and his procedures). The cops are like the Keystone Cops and I have to assume that is deliberate on the part of the author and not an actual reality of the times. Individually, some of the cops are pretty good, but overall, yeah, they are a mockery of law and order.

For a much more indepth and excited review, please visit Riders of Skaith’s “Review from 2020”.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

Murder of a Genius
When a mechanical genius is murdered at the moment of his greatest invention, THE SHADOW decodes a plan of linked deaths and traps a master killer in a bizarre and brilliant intrigue…

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

The Blackmail Ring (The Shadow #13) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Blackmail Ring
Series: The Shadow #13
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 146
Words: 44K


The Batman vibes were almost overpowering in this story. It’s a decent story about a blackmailer using other blackmailers to do his own dirty work and the Shadow catches wind of it and goes on an international rampage taking out the limbs of the Ring before finally cutting off the head.

He does detecting work.

He is very physically present in this story, with both fists, guns and body checks. He’s not a skinny wimp relying on just scare tactics. The Shadow knows how to fight and he does so.

He drives a souped up super car.

He flies his own little private airplaine.

Batman was most definitely based on the Shadow and the more I read of the Shadow, the more I realize just how much Batman took from him. In many ways, Batman is just an updated version for a new generation and a new medium (comics vs books or radio drama). And yet only 9 years separated the two and they ran concurrently for several decades.

The Shadow gets another recruit and still has to rescue Harry Vincent. I don’t understand Gibson’s continued use of him. He has let other recruits slide into the background and barely mentions them, so why can’t he do that with Harry? Some things just aren’t to be I guess. Kind of like wishing that Coca-Cola would bring back Vanilla-Orange Coke Zero. It ain’t happening. Now I am sad. I’m going over to that corner over there and have a good cry.

And that’s how I’m going to end this review, sitting in a corner crying for something that will never exist again. Ahhh, the pathos is real in this review. Weep, minions, weeeeeeeeep I say.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

The Shadow follows a bloody trail of extortion and murder that leads from the back alleys of Paris to the country homes of New England to confront “The Blackmail Ring”.

Tuesday, January 02, 2024

The Crime Cult (The Shadow #12) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Crime Cult
Series: The Shadow #12
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 156
Words: 50K


The Shadow goes up against a devotee of the Thuggee sect, which is devoted to the death goddess Kali. If you’ve ever seen Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, you’ll get a decent picture of the Thuggee cult. But they’re are also practitioners of the art of death by strangulation. So every victim in this story was strangled to death.

I’ve read another short story about Thuggees, either in an Alfred Hitchcock Collection or one of the Roald Dahl adult books, but I can’t be bothered to track down one specific short story. Anyway, that story also dealt with the strangulation side of the Cult, so that wasn’t a revelation here.

The more I read of these Shadow stories, the more I can why everyone says Batman was born of the Shadow. This time I noticed just how afraid the thugs, criminals and gangsters are of the Shadow and how he not only uses that fear, but encourages it. They SHOULD fear him. It reminds me of how Batman started. He wanted something to scare the badguys, to put the fear of God into their hearts and he would out-think them but also out-fight them. The Shadow had his time, and I enjoy reading these novels, but I don’t see him ever making a comeback. I mean, Batman is on the skids after all these years due to really bad story telling and the authors and artists relying on the fans buying crap just because of nostalgia and past associations. The era of Batman is coming to a close too I think.

When I wrote about Foundation and Empire last month, I mentioned how the length of it worked for me. These Shadow novels are built along the same lines and I just love it. It’s enough to entertain me without bogging me down. There are times when I’m reading a book and if I realize it’s over 300 pages I kind of groan to myself because I know the author is going to fill in all the background when I just wanted a two paragraph description of the whole world. Even better, one paragraph would suit me just fine! But instead of whining about that, I realize I have that need for brevity and these Shadow books are filling that need perfectly.

While this is the first book I am reviewing in 2024, it was not the first I read. I read a very mediocre book and just couldn’t face up to writing a review for a completely boring and mediocre book as my first review of the year. So I decided to read a good book and review it first. That’s the beauty of scheduling posts a week or so ahead of schedule, I can do things like that. I am glad to be reviewing a Shadow book first thing. It’s brief, exciting and filled with bad, gun toting thugs, decent upstanding men in the Shadow’s employ and a main character who totes two automatic pistols and isn’t afraid to use them.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

Click to Open

The marks of death were upon them. A mysterious round burn no bigger than a dime scarred each forehead; upon each throat was a thin, almost invisible white line. The police were baffled, but each of the victims knew that his time was up and his page in the book of death had come due. It was obviously a case for The Shadow but the most famous crimefighter of all was missing!

Friday, November 17, 2023

Double Z (The Shadow #11) 3.5Star

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Double Z
Series: The Shadow #11
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 188
Words: 60K


Good stuff. As I noted at the beginning of the month:

I really liked the cover. We will see what else the month holds, but I suspect this will earn that coveted (oh so coveted!) award of Cover Love of the Month. Doesn’t get much more honorable than that, let me tell you!

The story itself was pretty good too. We get another “Agent” of the Shadow introduced. At this point I’m not even trying to remember who is who, I just read “Character Agent X” and nod my head and continue reading. The Shadow faces off against an old Chinese guy who has a booby trapped house and that was pretty cool. Sadly, Old Chinese Guy isn’t Double Z. He should have been though. He has the booby trapped house. He has poisons. He has a young protege. He has underworld connections. So of course Double Z turns out to be some disgruntled, too rich, businessman. It was kind of anti-climactic to find out it was him. I mentally went “Really, that guy? He’s not even oatmeal, much less Villain of the Month Flavor”. Thankfully, I got all the flavor I needed with Old Chinese Guy. Soy sauce baby!

Another successful entry in the Shadow series. I recommend this series if you like pulp stories.

★★★✬☆


From Bookstooge.blog

Double Z, a mysterious underworld figure, has leaked information to the police about people who are going to get killed. Now he has decided to move into the game himself, thus setting himself on a collision course with The Shadow. Utilizing the services of corrupt old chinese triad leader, Double Z intends on being the one to survive that collision.

In the end, Double Z is unmasked as a bored businessman with too much time on his hands and not brains in his skull. The Shadow and his servants prevail and Right is Victorious.

Tuesday, September 26, 2023

Conan the Freelance (Conan the Barbarian) 3Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Freelance
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Steve Perry
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 167
Words: 61K

Each author who does these Conan pastiches (or in the case of Perry I’d call it fan fiction really) brings their own particular tastes to the stories. They also tend to have their own internal chronology. I bring this up because when I started reading this Perry has Conan waxing nostalgic for a bunch of buxom lasses whose names he rattles off. It sounded very much like a litany of “this girl was in this story and that girl was in that story” but this was the first Conan story I’d read by Perry. Turns out, I was reading these out of publication date. This is actually the 5th Conan story Perry wrote. So I soldiered on but I re-ordered them in calibre so they’re properly sorted now.

Anyway, Perry seems to REALLY like non-human monsters. I’m not talking about a singular demon or leftover dinosaur thing, but in this story we have a whole population of selkies, of humanoid lizard people and a double handful of magical terror monsters. Plus, the queen of the humanoid lizards is a buxom blue lass who Conan “conquers”. I just rolled my eyes pretty hard.

The other issue was the wizard. He had all the ingredients he needed for his final spell but kept getting distracted and mispronouncing stuff, thus having to start over from the beginning. This is a guy who’s been around hundreds of years. You’d think he’d have learned to focus in that time. I don’t mind wizards being defeated, but this wasn’t Conan defeating the wizard, this was the wizard being a total incompetent and reaping the consequences of being a nincompoop. I rolled my eyes pretty hard.

At the same time, seeing Conan fight selkies, fight lizard men, fight magical terror monsters and stick a big fat steel sword through a wizard’s gullet made it all worthwhile. THAT is why I read Conan stories. So I’m giving this three eyerolls out of five.

★★★☆☆


From the Publisher

Fate tosses the dice for Conan of Cimmeria, and they come up…death. Dimma, the Mist Mage, knows nothing of the muscular Cimmerian, but the vile necromancer’s plans require his death. Thayla, beautiful Queen of the Pili, would rather take Conan to her bed, but her own plots mean he must die. The sorcerous changeling Kleg wasn’t only to do his master’s bidding, but Conan stands in his way. Even the lovely Cheen will let nothing stop her from recovering the sacred Talisman of her people.

The game is deadly, the stakes are life, but whatever the risks, Conan of Cimmeria will play until the final toss.

Sunday, August 27, 2023

Hands in the Dark (The Shadow #10) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Hands in the Dark
Series: The Shadow #10
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 187
Words: 55K

Ha! Proof positive. The Shadow wears his girasol jewel on his left hand. It was stated explicitly in this book. This matters because Riders and I had a conversation about which hand it was on and neither of us could show a book which proved right or left. So here we go, the question is settled for all ages, or at least until I forget and forget that I answered the question here. So 2-3 months should do it!

And poop.

Apparently, our conversation centered around which FINGER it was not, not which HAND. Sigh. The Quest for Knowledge must continue then. And back to the unimportant stuff like talking about the book I read. Man, this book reviewing thing isn’t all I was led to believe. However, it has allowed me to read TWO The Shadow books this month, so that’s definitely a check on the positive side of the life column.

This was a pretty gutsy book in that a regular joe schmoe gangster (well, he is pretty smart but still, he’s not super villain league smart) goes up against the Shadow on purpose. And he doesn’t do a bad job of it either. Millions of dollars in loot are at stake and a Great Love between Boyman and Girlwoman is at stake too. And the Shadow cleans house like the vigilante he is. Booyah!

That is why I keep reading these. Bad guys do really bad guy things and the Shadow puts a stop to it and bad guys usually die in droves. If that doesn’t count as a happy ending, I don’t know what does.

I’m just glad there’s no Vicki Vale kind of character. That would have ruined things completely.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher:

WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN?

It was a message from a dead man. A small piece of paper worth a fortune in blood. Eight mysterious symbols that marked the beginning of a chain of violence executed by gangsters willing to kill for a code they did not understand. Only one man called the shots for this riddle: The Chief, whose reputation made any further identification unnecessary–and lethal.

Obviously a case for THE SHADOW–a cryptic message, a series of baffling murders, seemingly unrelated, and an invisible mastermind who choreographed killings for the highest stakes in town. THE SHADOW was on a trail leading straight to a brilliant trap–and a face-to-face encounter with a criminal genius determined to beat him at his own game!

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Conan the Victorious (Conan the Barbarian) 3Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Victorious
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 227
Words: 81K

Conan gets poisoned and has to face down two wizards, a demon, a bunch of soldiers and lots of adventure.

This was Robert Jordan’s final Conan novel and I rather enjoyed it. I didn’t rate it any better than his previous books because it’s a Conan pastiche and even when I’m thoroughly enjoying them, they just aren’t good literature. They are good adventure stories though. Fantastic pulp if you ask me.

Conan getting poisoned and then double crossed by a wizard who he thought was on his side was pitch perfect. Conan has always hated magic and magic users and we’re shown a perfect reason for that kind of thinking here. I know that Jordan has shown a wizard or two as not being bad, but they are always the outlyers and not the norm. As it should be. Wizards and the powers they consort with are evil and if you see one, make sure you run him through with your trusty steel sword and then chop his head off just in case. You can’t be too careful after all.

I do wish that Jordan had taken a stab at telling a story about Conan’s time as a sea pirate. That is referenced several times in the original stories by Howard and it is one time in Conan’s life that I am actually curious about. Oh well. But if Captain Conan ever steers his ship into Commodore Bookstooge’s area of influence, well, there will be a bloody battle to tell your kids about. And if Conan just stays a land lubber in all the other stories I plan on reading, well, no one can blame even him for being afraid of the Dwead Piwate Bookstooge!

★★★☆☆


From Conan.fandom.com/

Naipal, court wizard to King Bandharkar of the city-state of Ayodha in Vendyha, prepares to bargain with a demon, Masrock, to win control of the kingdom and rid himself of his rivals, the Black Seets of Mt. Yimsha. Meanwhile, in the Turanian city of Sultanapoor, a Vendhyan-supported plot has resulted in the assassination of a prince. Conan, employed in guarding a smugglers’ ship, is rumored to have been hired to commit the crime. Turanian spymaster Lord Khalid sends his apprentice, Jelal, into Vendhya to find out if a northerner was truly involved.

Running for his life, Conan eventually makes it to the docks and to his friend/fellow smuggler Hordo, whom he met during his time with Karela the Red Hawk. Hordo suggests that Conan leave with him on his next delivery of “fish” and he agrees. While examining the chests, they feel strangely light and, when questioned, the Vendhyan merchant who owns the crates flees. However, as he escapes, the merchant accidentally slices Conan with a hidden blade. The crates contain nothing except dried leaves of an unknown origin. Unfortunately, the blade was poisoned and Conan discovers that the antidote may lie in Vendhya, the original destination of their cargo.

At the mouth of the Zaporaska River in Vendhya, the smugglers question a tribe of Vendhyan warriors who are receiving their cargo. After discovering their chests have been tampered with, the warriors accept Hordo’s explanation in a suspicious way. Moments later, Conan and his crew learn that the Vendhyans were planning to kill them once their cargo was delivered. Soon, an army of Vendhyan tribesmen attack and set their ship alight, stranding them. During the battle, Conan gets close enough to see a caravan loading their crates. Unsure if the caravan will be friendly or not, the crew split up, one will follow the caravan, another will return home by walking along the coast.

Conan’s crew eventually close the distance and, by nightfall, have come within feet from the caravan’s distant bonfire. Conan assumes the identity of a Vendhyan merchant and, after a brief conversation with the captain of the caravan guard, they learn that the owner will speak with them in the morning. During the night, a Khitan merchant approaches the smugglers and offers in hiring them as his guards.

In Vendhya, Naipal discovers Conan has become embroiled in his schemes. Believing Conan’s involvement is purposeful, he plans to kill both the Cimmerian and his companions. After his agents in the caravan attempt without success in slaying Conan, Naipal lays a trap for him in the lost city of Gwandikian. Soon, Conan takes the bait. Lured into an ancient tower, he’s attacked by a swarm of cobras and narrowly escapes. Afterwards, Conan searches for an antidote to his poisoned wound in a nearby forest, where he has been told it can be located. Soon, he discovers the herbalist who originally treated him and learns he was in fact cured by his first treatment; the man had lied about it then to secure the Cimmerian’s aid. He, presumably, is Naipal’s true adversary. A final conflict between the two sorcerers ensues, in which both end up dead at the hands of the demon each tried to control, and the demon itself is destroyed by the spells they had lain on it.

Conan, surviving, decides to return home. On the way, he encounters Lord Khalid’s agent Jelal. The spy has completed his investigations and cleared the Cimmerian of complicity in the Vendhyan plot against Turan. He gives Conan a parchment and instructs him to present it at the headquarters of the Turanian army on his return to Sultanpoor.

Wednesday, August 02, 2023

Mobsmen on the Spot (The Shadow #9) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Mobsmen on the Spot
Series: The Shadow #9
Author: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 190
Words: 60K

We are introduced to yet another new agent for the Shadow. A former mob member who has spent time in jail for robbing a bank and killing a cop. Only the Shadow knows the truth about it all and uses the man to bring down a mastermind behind a bunch of protection rackets.

I thought this was really good. The Shadow maneuvers various levels of mobsters against each other and lets them spill their own blood. Things don’t go all his way though, as one good business man is murdered and the daughter of another is kidnapped.

The mastermind once again is pretty obvious once it becomes apparent that there IS a mastermind. That type of thing used to bother me, and under the right circumstances still might, but overall, I like a nice simple story where I don’t have to use my brain much. Working 9hrs in the heat and humidity really fries my mental capacity and I can appreciate a well told story that entertains me yet doesn’t expect me to turn into Sherlock Holmes to figure out what is going on.

If this was a Sandwich Rating, I would have probably given it the Toasted Tomato Sandwich rating. But it was missing the 1/2lb of black pepper that I usually dump on mine, hence the half star downgrade. Black Pepper makes a toasted tomato sandwich really pop and gives it that extra zing that makes me go “Yuuuuuuuum!”.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

Who KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN?

Who calls the shots for the country’s toughest gangsters? Who makes them dance to an offer they can’t refuse? Who is the invisible power behind the scenes of Manhattan’s billion-dollar protection rackets?

THE SHADOW KNOWS only that the criminal mastermind who controls the waterfront, the warehouses and the garages, is about to invade the theaters of the world’s most volatile city, where the root of crime flourishes, gangland-style.

THE SHADOW stalks his man with cunning, stealth and brilliance, and the eerie laugh that is his hallmark. The laugh that aims to chill all who have ever tasted the bitter fruit of the weed of crime: The Underworld, whose secrets belong to this Master of Darkness!

Sunday, July 02, 2023

Conan the Destroyer (Conan the Barbarian) 3Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Destroyer
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 170
Words: 57K


This was the novelization of the 1984 movie Conan the Destroyer. I had no idea until I went to google the synopsis. It also went a long way towards explaining why this felt like a second part of a story. Conan is constantly thinking about some woman he made a promise too and blah blah blah history history history. It made me wonder if Jordan had written another Conan book that I wasn’t aware of and needed to get to. But this revelation about the movie suddenly makes it all make sense.

But if I had never googled, I could never have told you this was a novelization. It read exactly like a pulp and all the previous Conan books by Jordan. To be honest, that’s a big positive in my books. Most novelizations are dry and lacking in artistic literary flair. Not this one.

My only quibble is the artifact this time, the Heart of Ahriman. I swear that has been used in another Conan novel. And ha, it has been, twice. First time I read about the heart of Ahriman was in Hour of the Dragon, an original Conan novel by Howard himself. The second time was in Conan and the Manhunters by John Maddox Roberts. What a wealth of useless knowledge I am! So yeah, it’s a MacGuffin and it didn’t work so hot for me.

Other than that, this was a typical Sword and Sorcery Conan adventure. You know what you’re getting and if you don’t like it, it’s your fault for reading this genre and character in the first place.

★★★☆☆


From Wikipedia.org

Queen Taramis of Shadizar promises to bring Conan’s lost love Valeria back to life if the Cimmerian will procure two magical items that she hopes will gain her ultimate power, a wizard’s gem and a horn that can awaken the dreaming god Dagoth. He undertakes the quest together with his thief partner Malak and Taramis’ niece Jehnna and henchman Bombaata. On their journey they are joined by two additional allies whom Conan saves from dire fates; the magician Akiro and the female warrior Zula. At their goal, the castle of the wizard Amon-Rama, Jehnna is kidnapped. Thanks to Akiro’s magic she is located in Amon-Rama’s lair and a way in is discovered. Inside, Conan is separated from the others and forced to battle a Man-Ape in a hall of mirrors, which he is only able to defeat by destroying the mirrors. He also mortally wounds the wizard, who is hiding behind one of them. Jehnna, who is the only person who can safely handle the wizard’s gem, retrieves the first magical item.

Afterward, the group beats off an attack by Corinthian soldiers and continues on to the fortress that holds the horn. It is retrieved at the cost of a battle with its Dagoth-worshipping keepers, whose leader Akiro defeats in a sorcerous duel. Bombaata and Jehnna escape through a tunnel, which the former closes to the others by starting a landslide. Back at Taramis’ palace, the queen conducts a ritual to awaken Dagoth that entails the placing of the horn on the forehead of the sleeping deity, and ultimately the sacrifice of Jehnna. Conan, Akiro, and Zula, having survived the landslide, interrupt the proceedings.

Conan fights and defeats Bombaata while Zula rescues Jehnna. In the absence of the sacrifice, Dagoth is an uncontrollable monster on his revival, eating Taramis and threatening the destruction of everything else. On the advice of Akiro, Conan rips the horn from Dagoth’s forehead, and the creature finally falls. In the aftermath, Jehnna succeeds to the throne of Shadazar and takes Zula, Akiro, and Malak as advisors. She offers Conan her hand and a place at her side as king, but the Cimmerian prefers to win his own kingdom.

Monday, June 12, 2023

The Black Master (The Shadow #8) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Black Master
Series: The Shadow #8
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 174
Words: 82K

From the Publisher & Bookstooge.blog

Five die and many are injured when Wall Street is bombed, followed by Grand Central Station and the subway entrance at Columbus Circle. When a reporter for The Classic claims to have information on the bomber’s identity, the office explodes. As the death toll rises, The Shadow races to uncover who is the bomber known as The Black Master.

Turns out the Blackmaster is a german scientist who had a sister back in the day. Said sister married an American and died from starvation. The american went on to become a multi-millionaire and the Black Master has decided that HE is the one to mete out justice for his sister’s death. If a multitude of New Yorker’s must die in the process, that is a price the Black Master is willing to pay.

The Shadow is not a big fan of this course of action and sets himself in opposition. Of course he wins and destroys the Black Master, who was also a crime fighter helping the police with his new fangled german “criminal psychology”.


First things first. This is not some filthy urban fantasy erotica porn. I mention this because I am reading the Shadow omnibuses and so have to search out the individual titles to find the covers, pages, etc. The crap I had to wade through was not right. I ended up searching for ISBN 9780450027420 to get the correct info. So use that, not the title if you’re ever searching this out.

Second thing. This gave me YUUUUGE 9/11 vibes. New York was getting bombed and there was panic in the newspaper and speculation was rife and nobody knew what was going on. It reminded me exactly of my experience on 9/11. I was working and the radio was going nuts. There were “reports” of bombs going off in cars, of bombs going off in garbage cans, of “sporadic gunfire”. The *&^%%% media didn’t know what was going on and they let their speculation run rampant and increased the panic. Until the plane hit the towers, nobody actually KNEW what was happening. That sense of bewilderment was spot on. Of course, in this novel everybody just goes back to normal the next day and life carries on.

Thirdly, the Crime Fighting Psychologist. Come on, I mean, really? As soon as it was revealed that he was german and profiled criminals, it was painfully obvious he was the Black Master. And if that comes as a spoiler to you, shame on you for being so gullible. It reminded me of the first episode in the Sherlock tv show with Benedict Cumberbatch and one of the police officers, who is not a fan of Sherlock, tells Watson that someday Sherlock will get bored of solving crimes and begin committing then. That is the exact vibe I got from Dr Proffessor Germano (yeah, yeah, whatever, who remembers his real name anyway?) and so as soon as he was introduced he had a big fat arrow pointing to him screaming “Dah Black Meister!”

Now, with all of that being said, I still enjoyed the daylights out of this story. The Black Master was a very worthy adversary for the Shadow and gave him a good run for his money. When a villain seeks to go head to head against the Shadow in a game of mental manipulation, you know he’s not just some thug with a .38 police special.

And Harry Vincent gets his brain blasted by the Black Master and his magic crystal ball. Sadly, we all know he’ll recover and show up in future books. I would have liked to see his drooling corpse slumped against a wall. Oh well, not every story can be a completely Happily Ever After.

★★★✬☆

Tuesday, June 06, 2023

Conan the Magnificent (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Magnificent
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 185
Words: 65K

From Conan.fandom.com/

In the south-western spur of the Kezankian mountains separating Brythunia from Zamora, one of the hundreds of wandering holy-men of the Kezankians is drawing the traditionally feuding tribes together to witness a miracle of “the ancient gods.” The True Gods of earth, air, fire and water led Basrakan Imallah deep into the bowels of the earth to a clutch of fire-drake eggs. With blasphemous knowledge of the thaumatergical arts, Basrakan managed to hatch one of the nine eggs and bind the infant creature to his will, albeit imperfectly. Now, with an avatar of the fire god under his command, Basrakan preaches a holy war against the plains-dwellers of Zamora and Brythunia.

Unfortunately, as the creature grows, his hold on it weakens.

In secret, Basrakan has agents searching for two huge rubies, The Eyes of Fire, that will grant him complete control over all nine dragons. With them, he can complete his unification of the hill-tribes and lead them to conquest over all who would oppose him.

Completing a spectacle where his dragon kills three Brythunians as a sacrifice to the True Gods, Basrakan receives word his spies have located the Eyes of Fire. They are in the possession of House Perashanid of Shadizar.

Shadizar, capital city of Zamora. Conan steals across rooftops bound for the house of Samarides, the gem-merchant. On commission from the spice merchant, Barastes, Conan intends to steal a goblet carved from a single huge emerald from Samarides’ mansion. Almost killing himself to gain access to the place, Conan is beaten to his prize by a female thief calling herself Lyana. To discourage him from using her rope to escape, Lyana casts a black throwing knife at the Cimmerian. When he jumps back to avoid the projectile, she makes good her escape. Narrowly escaping from Samarides and his guards by going out the front door, Conan vows to avenge his wounded pride by beating the thief to her next prize.

But first he has to find out who she is.

From Abuletes, Conan learns a thief named Jamal used knives similar to the one the girl threw at Conan…until he was beheaded by the City Guard a decade ago. Jamal had a daughter and two brothers, Gayan and Hafid, who took the orphaned girl in. They were thieves as well and used clothing and tools similar to what Conan saw the girl employ. The girl’s name was Tamira.

Conan offers a reward of two silver pieces to the city’s beggars, trulls and street urchins to find the girl for him.

The Lady Jondra of the House Perashanid is know to possess a fabulous tiara and necklace both of which feature a huge ruby set amongst diamonds and opals. She is also reputed to be an capable huntress. She is also famous for being unwed and the last scion of noble house of Zamora. However, her mother was Brythunian, not Zamoran, and no small few at court consider her a half-breed, much to her chagrin. We see her snub the hopes of one would-be paramour by telling him she can marry no man unless he can equal her as an archer; then she bests him at archery.

After many false leads, the street urchins locate Tamira at The Red Lion Tavern. A confrontation ensues where Conan suggests that Tamira is a virgin and wants to bed her.

His real plan is to have her followed from the tavern by the urchins to see where she goes and report back to Conan.

A day comes and goes and Conan finds himself confronted by Barastes the spice merchant, visiting Abulete’s Tavern to talk with Conan about the whereabouts of the goblet. Asking to keep their dealings private, they adjourn to Conan’s small room on the second floor and, unsatisfied with Conan’s explanation of events, Barastes tries to kill the Cimmerian. Conan disarms him easily and stuns him with a blow to the face. Stripping him of his purse, cloak and weapons, Conan shakes him awake and throws him out the window to the filthy alley below.

Knowing that his actions will eventually bring the city guard to Abuletes, Conan arranges with the tavern-keeper to secure a horse and leave the city. As Abuletes sends a message to a man he knows, Laeta the street urchin enters and tells Conan that Tamira has been spending time at the Lady Jondra’s mansion. One of the urchins saw her leave a few hours past, dressed like a serving girl, along with the rest of Lady Jondra’s hunting party.

Needing to leave town in any case, Conan plays a hunch Tamira would not tag along with the noblewoman while the jewels stay in Shadizar. Taking his new horse he sets off into the northern Zamorian wastes intent on catching up with Jondra’s hunting expedition. [note: Jordan uses Zamoran throughout instead of Howard’s term, Zamorian, used throughout this article]

Coming upon Jondra cornered and alone, menaced by a pack of wolves, Conan rescues her by killing nine of them before the rest slink back into the wilderness. With both their horses dead, the pair must walk back to Jondra’s camp. Unfortunately neither one has any water left and the Zamoran wastes offer no chance to find any. As the day stretches into afternoon, Jondra begins to fail, so the Cimmerian carries her, against her weak protests. It is full night when Conan spies the fires of a camp. Not knowing or caring if it is Jondra’s, he staggers into camp, sets the woman on the ground and demands water, hand on his sword hilt.

Assuming the worst upon seeing Jonrda’s limp form dropped to the ground, Arvaneus, Jondra’s Chief Huntsman, orders Conan slain. In a soft but firm voice Jondra commands her men to stop and, after taking some swallows of water, berates Arvaneus for not doing enough to try to locate her before dusk. So does Conan earn the enmity of Arvaneus.

In Brythunia, in a village near the Kezankian Mountains, a young warrior named Eldran returns from the West to find his fellow villagers all bearing arms and shields. The local priestess of Wiccana, Boudanecea, takes him to her abode where Eldran’s teacher in the art of the sword, Godtan, lies horribly burned and dying. He is the only surviving member of a hunting party that went, against Boudanecea’s advice, to the mountains in search of the creature responsible for burning farms in the foothills of the Kezankians. When they came upon the beast they learned, to their horror, that the priestess spoke true; no weapons forged by ordinary men could harm the creature. After fleeing the dragon, the remaining warriors were ambushed by hillmen. Eldran’s brother, Ellandune, and two other men, Aelric and Aelfric, were taken prisoner. The rest were slain. The hillmen left Godtan for dead.

Boudanecea leads Eldran to The Sacred Grove of Wiccana and, using druidic magic, opens the way for Eldran to obtain the sword called Flame Slayer; forged by great wizards almost 3,000 years prior to defeat the beasts of fire unleashed by Acheron’s foul sorcery. Empty claws on either end of the guard once held great rubies called the Eyes of Fire which gave the wielder control of the beasts. The blade is given only to the worthy and only once in their lifetime. If it leaves the possession of the worthy, it magically returns to the mound in Wiccana’s Grove and can only be granted to another after the proper ceremony is performed. Eldran accepts the priestess’ benediction while making a list, in his mind, of the men he will lead into the mountains.

Meanwhile, back in Zamora, Conan observes the leaders of the hunting party concealing their presence from a contingent of over 5,000 Zamorian troops crossing their intended path, far ahead in the distance. Arvaneus finally challenges Conan to a duel but Jondra forbids it, so Conan suggests they cast spears for money. Conan ties Arvaneus at 30 paces and at 40 paces and then beats him at 60 paces. Incensed, Arvaneus dares Conan to hit the arget at 100 paces…so he does. Not only does he win 500 pieces of silver from the Chief huntsman, Lady Jondra gives herself to the Cimmerian because she could never have made such a spear-cast.

Three days later Eldran and his riders meet Lady Jondra’s hunting party on the Zamorian plain. In speaking with them, Jondra describes the beast that she hunts and the Brythunians recognize it as the beast of fire that they seek. Eldran tries to warn Jondra that the beast cannot be slain by normal weapons but the proud noblewoman sends them on their way. But not before Eldran out-shoots Jondra with a bow, making quite an impression on her…and focusing her wrath on both Arvaneus and Conan.

Through ensorcelled ravens, Basrakan learns of the arrival of the Zamorian soldiers and dispatches 20,000 hillmen to destroy them, to prove they are worthy in the eyes of the True Gods.

That night the Cimmerian wakes to the sound of unshod hoofs on gravel coming up the hill toward camp. Djinar and his band of hillmen from Shadizar have caught up with the hunting party and attack while they sleep, intent on killing them all and taking the Eyes of Fire to Basrakan. Conan kills a number of them while the hunters are still waking up and helps drive them off. He then argues with Jondra, trying to convince her to turn back.

The next afternoon Conan tells Tamira of his intention to return to Shadizar, with or without Jondra. Tamira promises to accompany Conan but not until after dark, in order to avoid a confrontation with the noblewoman over leaving her service. Shortly thereafter a Zamorian cavalry company of nearly three hundred riders arrives at Jondra’s camp. Their commander, Lord Zathanides, insists it is too dangerous near the mountains at this juncture and tells Jondra return to Shadizar. Trying to make Conan jealous, she invites the general into her tent to discuss her future. Her ploy backfires however and the Zamorain nobleman tries to rape her.

Conan throws Zathanides out of Jondra’s pavilion and disarms him when he tries to draw on the Cimmerian. Jondra stops Conan from killing him and warns she will inform the king of his indecent assault if he attempts use his station to exact revenge on the Cimmerian. The general takes his leave but not before casting aspersions on Jondra’s mother and Conan’s heritage.

After his departure, Conan and Jondra quarrel again over returning to the city, after which Conan decides to take his own advice and begin preparations to leave that night with Tamira. Discovering a saddle and waterskin already sitting by a fresh horse however, Conan proceeds directly to Jondra’s tent and catches Tamira stealing the tiara and necklace. Scooping her up and carrying her off down the hill to the edge of camp behind some scrub brush, Tamira kicks him as he is releasing her. He loses his footing on the uneven ground and falls atop her. An argument ensues but soon Tamira beings to kiss him. After a second or two of surprise, Conan returns the favour.

The next day finds Conan already well into the mountains at sunrise and looking back at a battle on the Zamorian plains where a huge horde of Kezankian hillmen are massacring thousands of Zamorian soldiers.

From another part of the mountains, Eldran watches the same battle and mourns for Jondra, who he is sure the soldiers were escorting back to Shadizar. Eldran addresses his men and tells them they are now on the beast’s home-ground; that he’s felt it’s evil growing ever stronger as they travelled further into this part of the mountains. He lets them know, If any want to turn back, now is the time. None do.

Further into the mountains, Basrakan’s meditations are interrupted by a group of heretical hillmen. The Imalla slays them with magic and then casts a spell that immolates every one of their male relatives, regardless of their age, in the surrounding camp. Jbiel tells Basrakan that Shamal, one of Djinar’s men sent after the Eyes of Fire, has returned, but is insane. Against the tradition of the Old Gods that the insane are not to be molested, Basrakan orders him interrogated to find out everything he knows.

Before noon, after the massacre of the Zamorian soldiers, Jondra calls a halt and orders her retinue to make camp; sending out her huntsmen to look for signs of the dragon. Conan spends the day on lookout duty, honing the blade of his sword, trying to spy the source of an oppressive feeling that has grown stronger the further they forged into the mountains.

Telades is the first hunter to return. He found no sign of the beast but did discover another large force of Zamorian soldiers camped further within the mountains, to the north. Telades was able to get close enough to recognize the commander of the force; one General Tenerses.

One by one the other hunters return, each of them finding no trace of the creature…until, at last, Arvaneus returns with news of the beast’s tracks. Despite the distance to the tracks and the sun hanging at mid-afternoon, Jondra insists on seeing the spoor that day and takes 20 men, plus Conan, into the mountains.

Reaching the first tracks, the oppressive feeling Conan has had that whole day increases. He suggests they return to camp but Jondra insists on seeing the complete tracks Arvaneus claims are further along. Coming to a small valley with many cuts leading off to each side, the earth becomes softer and complete tracks can be seen.

And then the dragon attacks.

The beast decimates the hunting party with claws and fire; each of the hunters falling as they realize that no part of the beast is vulnerable, not even its eyes. Jondra is nearly killed by the beast but she and Conan are provided the chance to escape when Telades sacrifices himself to distract the monster. Jondra breaks down and Conan carries her to safety.

Conan strides into camp carrying Jondra and Tamira helps her to her tent. No other hunters have returned. The remaining hunters look to Conan for leadership. He orders them to be vigilant against hillmen tonight for they leave in the morning for Shadizar. He also tells them to flee if the beast attacks.

Hillmen do attack that night, but there are too many of them to repel. Conan rescues Tamira from a hillman and escapes the camp with her. Finding her a place to hide, he returns to the camp to see if he can rescue Jondra. Jealous and angry that he would leave her to help the noblewoman, Tamira leaves her hiding place intent on returning to camp to steal the gems and return to Shadizar without Conan, but is soon captured by hillmen.

Returning to the camp, Conan finds the battle over and begins looking for supplies to use on the journey back to the city. He is accosted by Arvaneus, just arrived after wandering in the mountains since the attack of the fire-drake. Arvaneus is insane with guilt over first leading the hunters to their doom and and then fleeing instead of helping them. Accusing the Cimmerian of being a thief, he becomes enraged when he hears Conan’s plan to find Jondra and return her to Shadizar. He attacks and Conan kills him,

Before he died Arvaneus admitted to seeing Jondra escape the camp and hide from the hillmen. Worried that he has been so long away from Tamira, Conan goes to collect her before searching for Jondra’s hiding place.

In need of water, Jondra leaves her hiding place, reluctantly…because she is nude…to sneak to a water hole she could see from her sanctuary. Losing her footing, she slides off the edge of a short drop but her ankle gets caught in a tree and she is left hanging upside down, still naked, mere yards from the pool of water.

Struggling to free herself, she does not hear a hillman approaching the water hole until he is already there; and then he is dead with an arrow sticking from his neck. Her initial relief that one of her huntsmen has saved her is dampened by the fact that she cannot manage to free herself. Her relief turns to horror when she sees that her saviour is not from her hunting party but is Eldran, the Brythunian.

Effortlessly he lifts her down and carries her to the pond. When he begins to talk of how obsessed he has become with her she picks up a large rock and bounces it off his head. Grateful that he continues to breathe, she nevertheless robs him of his cloak, leggings, bow, knife, etc and limps off in an attempt to get away from him.

And she limps right into six hillmen.

Meanwhile, Conan is tracking Tamira’s departure from her hiding place and discovers that she was taken by hillmen. As he tracks them he comes upon the remaining members of Eldran’s band. Together he and Eldran agree that they will save the women and then slay the beast.

Tamara and Jondra awake to find they are chained spread-eagle on either side of a stone room, completely naked. Basrakan begins magically torturing the two, stopping only when Jbeil interrupts to tell him that Shamal has finally said something legible…that the Eyes of Fire were brought into the Mountains by Jondra.

Conan, Eldran and the remaining Brythunians tracked the hillmen back to the assembled horde surrounding Basrakan’s temple. They know Jondra is in the temple but only that Tamira is somewhere in the huge camp. Discussing how to proceed, Eldran insists on saving Jondra and Conan suggests that they use General Tenerses and his soldiers to their advantage by tricking him into thinking the hillman force is far smaller than it is and providing them with an easy victory. Eldran chooses Frydan for the task and the men settle in to await his return with the army.

After scouring the horde for the spoils from Jondra’s camp, Jbiel delivers the necklace and the tiara to Basrakan. Completely focussed on the gems, he discards the rest of the jewellery and prepares the binding spell that will link him to the fire-drake. He orders Jabiel to take the women to the dungeon to await sacrifice. The spell works and he orders the women taken to for sacrifice to the beast of fire. Thousands of hillmen stream after the women and the Imallas as they make their way to the next valley, where Basrakan performs the rituals to the True Gods.

Upon seeing both woman herded toward the next valley, Conan and Eldran decide that they cannot wait for Frydan’s return. Slipping down into the valley, Conan and the Brythunians disguise themselves as hillmen and join the throng.

As Basrakan completes his summoning ritual to call forth the fire-drake, yells are heard from the entrance-valley that the hillmen are under attack by soldiers. When the Imalla looks down into the sacrificial circle he sees men jumping the low wall and rushing towards the women.

Conan frees Tamira while Eldran frees Jondra and they all turn to consider escape. Sounds of battle from the valley entrance have distracted thousands from what transpires in the sacrificial circle, but many are not…and some are brave enough to intervene. Those hillmen enter the circle to stop the infidels,

But after a few minutes, the press of battle weakens and the hillmen begin to draw back. The beast of fire has arrived.

Finding himself too far away from the beast, Eldran calls out to Conan and throws Flame Slayer to the Cimmerian. Diving and rolling, Conan avoids the fiery breath of the creature and gets close enough to strike at its face. Jerking its head back in pain, the beast exposes its chest and Conan buries the blade in it.

Rearing back on its hind legs, the beast dies and topples onto Basrakan, mashing him to jelly.

Demoralized, thousands of hillmen break for the mouth of the valley and though he strides through them, none dares raise a hand against Conan. Head and shoulders above most of the hillmen, he sees Eldran and the Brythunians helping Jondra escape. Further away, he spies Tamira, his black cloak still covering her, swept into the entrance-valley with the flow of the throng, and out of sight.

Hewing his way back to the larger valley, Conan sees Tamira dash from Basrakan’s temple. As she yells something about recovering her clothes, Conan throws her over his shoulder with a curse and heads for the hills.

Rejoining Eldran’s company to escape the mountains, Conan and the Brythunians reach the foothills safely. Jondra is taken captive by Eldran as payment for her assault against him and the theft of his possessions before she was captured by hillmen. Tamira stops Conan from intervening, explaining that Jondra is in love with Eldran and would rather return to Brythunia with him than to Shadizar as a lonely, wealthy half-breed.

Tamira and Conan part from the Brythunians and ride out onto the Zamorian plain toward Shadizar.


First off, don’t click that “details” thingy above this. Some jamoke went and summarized the book instead of writing a synopsis and it’s 7 pages long. Who are these people who have that much time and energy to put towards something so futile? At least MY reviews will get read by me and millions of my nearest and dearest friends (and who have paid quite handsomely to BE my nearest and dearest) and adoring fans (who did NOT pay quite so handsomely, the cheapskates!)

Conan gets involved with trying to steal some jewels and then to protect a woman. A sorcerer is trying to unite a bunch of fractious tribes under the guise of “the old gods” and has some sort of creature semi in control. But the sorcerer needs the same jewels as Conan wants to complete his control over the creature.

Everything collides and Conan uses a magic sword to slay the beast. Which wasn’t really supposed to be possible, because only the Chosen One could hold the sword and he was already holding it. When the Chosen One lets go of the sword, it supposedly disappears back to its secret hiding place until a new Chosen One is born. So the current Chosen One tossing the magic sword to Conan for him to use just didn’t make sense. I don’t expect a lot from Conan books, but internal consistency is one thing I do want.

That’s why, even though I enjoyed this more than the previous book, I am giving it 3stars instead of 3.5stars. I know it might seem like a little detail to you and you could wonder why but I take my job as a Professional Book Reviewer seriously. I don’t get paid ½ million dollars each year for nothing after all.

★★★☆☆

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Conan the Triumphant (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Triumphant
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 203
Words: 70K

From Conan.fandom.com/

Conan guides his army of mercenaries into Ianthe, capital of Ophir, where they become entangled in the chaos ensuing from the death of King Valdric. The factions of Antimides, Valentius, and Lady Synelle (Countess of Asmark) all contest for the throne. Synelle is secretly a sorceress and the high priestess of a nearly-forgotten demon god known as Al’Kiir. Al’Kiir was imprisoned within the depths of a mountain, called Tor Al’Kiir, centuries before by a mage named Avanrakash. However, Synelle plans on releasing him by providing Al’Kiir a “bride” through human sacrifice and enlist his power in obtaining the throne.

Conan comes into Synelle’s attention after he buys an idol of Al’Kiir, which she believes can be used in reviving her god. She plan on obtaining the idol, sending various agents to steal it and bewitching the Cimmerian into enlisting in her service. This attachment is complicated by Conan’s interest in Julia, a young noblewoman reduced to trulldom[check spelling], and his old rival, a female bandit named Karela the Red Hawk, one of many thieves Synelle has hired to steal the idol.

Ultimately, Synelle’s true colors are revealed. In the depths of Tor Al’Kirr, she and her priestess attempt to sacrifice Karela to raise the demon. Conan and his company battle her forces and the Cimmerian wins through—just too late. Al’Kiir is raised, but takes Synelle instead of his intended victim. When the demon turns its attention towards Karela, Conan seizes the Staff of Avanrakash and spears the creature. At its unearthly screams, Synelle’s defenders flee. Both Al’kiir and the captive sorceress harden into stone as the mountain begins to rumble. Conan and his men flee, putting as much distance as they can between themselves and the mountain before it erupts in a pillar of flame resembling the staff.

In the aftermath, the victorious army of Valentius marches onto Ianthe. The remnants of the Free Company, sidelined, break up, each going their separate way. Conan urges Karela to go to Argos with him, but she refuses, preferring her free life instead being mastered by the Cimmerian. He proceeds south alone. Meanwhile, Synelle is rescued from the destroyed mountain and brought back to life by Thoth-Amon.


There was a LOT of full, heaving breasts and long legs and rounded hips in this story. I’d say Jordan delved into that a little more than was necessary, even for a Conan story. Especially when it applies to every single named female character. They may as well all have been clones of each other as far as descriptions go. I guess hair color was the main differentiation?

That bleeding red head, Karela, is involved again. I must admit, I don’t like her. And I don’t like that Jordan keeps tying her into every story. Conan is supposed to move on after every story. Plus, it is embarrassing to read about her being such a stupid witch. I get second hand embarrassment 🙁

The part of the story dealing with the evil god trying to return didn’t land so well either. The sorceress successfully ensorcels Conan and it is only through the use of a magic staff, and not a steel sword, that Conan sends the devil god back to its imprisonment. This was as much about the politics of the city-state Conan was in as anything.

The swashbuckling action was decent, with bandits and soldiers and rogue bandit soldiers, fighting everybody. No lack of hackings, that’s for sure. Conan does his thief thing and fights the best swordsman of the city and kills him of course.

The “official” synopsis says that the sorceress is resurrected by Thoth-Amon, a big bad wizard in the original Conan stories. I did not see a trace of that in the version I read. I wonder if it is referenced in the next book and the no good jackasses who created the wiki were lazy and put it in this book’s wiki page?

Definitely not one of the better Conan stories but not one I’d consider a waste of time either.

★★★☆☆

Tuesday, March 14, 2023

Conan the Unconquered (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Unconquered
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 207
Words: 72K

From Wikipedia:

An evil sorcerer Jhandar wishes to raise an army of undead slaves, and his meddling with chaos brings him into conflict with Conan, who must battle his deadly ninja henchmen who can kill with a touch, and retrieve a weapon from a dent in reality created by the sorcerer’s earlier botched experiments. A whirlwind of adventure ensures.


Conan sleeps with all the wimenz and killz all the sorcererz (but there is only one). So he can haz a cheezeburger now. I’ve gone ahead and injected it with penicillin though because you don’t sleep around that much without catching an std after all.

All silliness aside, this was a good jaunt as Conan fights another sorcerer and goes to a blasted land and fights some nefarious creature there too. Secret Kung-Fu masters are involved but Conan doesn’t care and stabs them to death. Take that Morpheus! I enjoyed this just a bit more than the two previous Conan stories by Jordan and I think that is because of the lack of women main characters in this story. In a sword and sorcery story, I want the hero, his sidekick/s, the babes and the badguy/s. And that is exactly what I got this time around.

While I don’t want a book diet exclusively composed of this pulp, having it on a regular basis means I don’t crave it. It also allows me to appreciate the finer works that I read when I do read them. Like Groo the Wanderer! Hahahahahahaha 😉

★★★✬☆

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Conan the Defender (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Defender
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 193
Words: 65K

This is a direct sequel to the previous Conan book, Conan the Invincible. More in terms of characters than in plot. Conan gets together with the prince of the bandits from the previous book and they go to some city and try to earn gold as guards. There’s a revolution brewing and a sorcerer is the prime mover and shaker and Conan works out said sorcerer is using the revolutionaries (who are the spares of rich royal families and thus have nothing to do) as patsies. When he reveals they get all butt hurt and toss him out. He goes to work for the king and runs across the Queen of the Bandits from the previous book. He also comes into conflict with the sorcerer and with wit and mighty thews bests him. Everyone realizes Conan was right about everything and peace reigns supreme. The end.

My goodness. Jordan knows how to write some pulp here. If I had been in a more scathing mood I’d probably have trashed this 6 ways from Sunday. But as I was rather raw inside at the time of reading, the simple hack, slash and bash of Conan outpowering everyone was like a balm upon my heart. Conan’s ability to literally cut his way through any and all problems is what I WISH I could do today. Sadly, it just doesn’t work that way. And it really doesn’t work that way for little chubby bald guys who don’t like people 😉

This stuff is pure wish fulfillment and I enjoy it as such.

★★★✬☆

Tuesday, January 03, 2023

Conan the Invincible (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Invincible
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Authors: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 205
Words: 69K

In this story, a young Conan is hired to steal some jewels, that, unbeknownst to him, are magical in nature. A rival sorcerer to the one that hired Conan ends up stealing them instead and so Conan decides to track them down because a pleasure slave was also kidnapped and he liked the cut of her gib. Hooking up with bandits who are led by a hot tempered woman warrior, Conan and Co take on snake people, army people and rival sorcerous groups. Lots of death happens. Lots of nudity occurs. In the end, everybody pretty much gets what they deserve.

I enjoyed this. It was on par with some of the better stories by Maddox (I know that’s his middle name, but John Roberts is SOOOO boring) and it gives me hope that what Jordan writes overall will be a notch better. I’m not expecting miracles, as this is Conan after all, but I do hope for more consistency.

One thing I was NOT expecting was the comeuppance that the warrior woman gets at the end. She’d been a real witch the entire book and was NOT a good person, so it was with grim humor that I saw Conan leave her to her fate as a slave at the end. She totally deserved it. The sorcerer getting eaten by the cosmic horror god was right in line with what I expect to happen to sorcerers in a Conan story so I was glad not to be disappointed that way too.

On a completely different note I found a list of around 100 Conan books listed chronologically. That’s a lot of Conan to go around! But it gave me some more authors to hunt down in regards to Conan. What I’ve read so far I’ve enjoyed and I’d like to read as much as I can. I have decided that I’m not going to try to number the Conan books I read but just leave them as standalone stories. I’ll simply read them grouped by author and call that good enough. So far, Howard, Maddox and Jordan have all told standalone tales and I hope any other authors stick to that formula. It works well.

★★★✬☆