Showing posts with label Worst Book of the Year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worst Book of the Year. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 05, 2024

Neuromancer (The Sprawl #1) 1/2Star Hate Read

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Neuromancer
Series: The Sprawl #1
Author: William Gibson
Rating: 0.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Cyberpunk
Pages: 251
Words: 84K


Because this might be seen by more than the usual suspects, I spoil my reviews. So read at your own risk. But if you’re reading Neuromancer, you deserve whatever you get. No sympathy from me. This is a rage fueled hate re-read of this book and I plan on venting my spleen at John Wick levels, and I have pencils. You have been warned.


PART I
Chapter 1 – In which Bookstooge meets some Main Characters, and Hates them.

Having read this once before, back in 2011 (2011 Neuromancer Review) I was passably familiar with what I was getting into. My review back then left a lot to be desired, even by me, someone who is usually pithy and pointed and rather economical with my words. However, it bloody well sums up this whole first chapter to a flipping Tee. Maybe my pithy pointedness was more spot on than I realized.

We are introduced to Case, a drug addicted hacker who stole data from the wrong people (those employing him, dumbass!) and they burnt out his nervous system so he could never jack into the system (here called The Matrix. Hmmmmm, sound familiar?) again. Case is 24 and on such a downward trajectory that he’ll commit suicide by risky job within a month.

Everyone who Case knows, or comes into contact with, is as much a junkie and a loser as himself. We are talking scum of the Earth here. Case’s dealer is trying to steal from him, his ex-girlfriend lies to him to steal 3megabytes of RAM (oh, did I laugh out loud at THAT!!!). Case is so strung out that he can’t function without drugs.

Speaking of drugs, Gibson for sure was a damned junkie himself at some point. His use of terminology and slang is way too prolific to have been learned using a dictionary and thesaurus. I HATE drugs. They destroy the very essence of a person and leave them a shambling wreck that only causes pain and ruin to those around them. As far as I’m concerned, drugs are the physical embodiment of spiritual evil. And our main character Case has deliberately placed himself within that web of evil.

Rage fueled hate read? Oh, game on!

Chapter 2 – In Which Bookstooge meets some other characters

At chapter’s beginning we meet Case’s new employer, an Ex-Special Forces military guy and his crazy teched out assassin girl. Who has Wolverine style fingernails. Case gets his matrix jockey ability back, has sex with the tech assassin, watches his ex-girlfriend get whacked by a former employer and is disappointed that his new mods make drugs of no use to him any more.

Wow, what a bunch of scumbags killing each other. I wasn’t sad about that at all. Case proves what a man whore he is and between that and his former drug use, if he dies I’ll be happy. When you hate the main character from the get-go, and that hatred only grows in the second chapter, it just doesn’t bode well for the book as a whole.

Gibson really throws around a lot of tech terms in this chapter. I don’t know enough to tell if he was using some real terminology or if it was just mystical mumbo jumbo garbage. I think it was all complete bullshit, but then I’m not exactly unbiased about Gibson.

PART II

Chapter 3 – In Which Bookstooge reads a metric ton of technobabble and rolls his eyes a lot

I seriously thought of giving up in this chapter. Chase gets his online mojo back, has a lot of sex with Molly the ninja/assassin/thingy and finds out that he is biologically boobytrapped to help him stay loyal to his employer. Then Gibson throws around even MORE technobabble, to the point where it didn’t make any sense to me and my mind just skipped over it. And I didn’t feel like it made one iota of difference to the story.

Chapter 4 – In Which terrorists help our protagonist to steal something from a library

Booo! Stealing from a library, booo!!!!!! I don’t care if it’s some super duper secret locked down online only library, it’s just plain despicable to steal from one. Even if it’s a digital version of Case’s old mentor who taught him every cowboy trick he knew (apparently Gibson didn’t foresee that Brokeback Mountain would be a thing in the future and that we could make endless jokes about cowboys). While the graphic sex scene happened earlier in the book, there’s still pornographic levels of description included. Bad people, worse people, and then people I don’t know how to describe other than plain and simple evil, doing bad things, doing worse thing and doing evil things.

Chapter 5 – In Which Bookstooge learns that AI are really pulling the strings and Case meets the digital version of his old boss

I have such issues with how AI are used in stories and in popular culture. Digital selves as well. It all springs from the idea that our minds are self-existing containers and as long as you scoop all the info-goop, you can dump that goop somewhere else and still have that mind. I call it the harddrive fallacy. We are more than just containers for data. There is a reason every human is unique. Genes, dna, bits of broken biology, etc. It all comes together to make the person. We are our minds, our bodies and our wills/emotions/spirits. Take away one and it changes everything. Plus, the idea that sentience can come out of non-sentience is so bullshit that how any intelligent person can give it credence in real life is ridiculous. Most of the time I don’t mind, because it’s just a plot line like “aliens” or superheroes. We all know the X-Men aren’t real nor can they be. But imagine if people actually thought they could be and started irradiating themselves. And a whole culture lived that way. It would be madness. And our culture is descending into madness and the promise of “AI” is just one step down along that path.

Chapter 6 & 7– In Which Bookstooge just gives up.

I’m reading the rest of the book, but it’s not worth any more commentary than these blasted 1000 words I’ve already given it. Pure trash. Drivel. Garbage. Filth.

There, that’s three pencils in Gibson’s eye! I hope it hurts, a lot.

PART III

Chapter 8 – In which Bookstooge keeps writing

because that’s what I do. I don’t do drugs, or whore around or kill people. I write. So if I have to suffer this wretched book, then I’m going to make sure you suffer as much as I possibly can make you with my words. In fact, you are simply:

USELESS

LOSER

SCUMBAG

UNLOVABLE

WASTE OF SPACE

INSIGNIFICANT

STUPID

GULLIBLE

FAT

UGLY

STINKY

DIRTY

There, did I manage to hurt your feelings at all? I hope so. Now you don’t have to read this book and hurt your brain.

Chapters 9-16 – In Which Bookstooge wishes he was dead

This book is only 250 pages and it feels like I have spent a veritable eternity here. It’s horrible, just horrible I tell you! This is the book that simply will not end. No matter how much time I spend reading this, it just keeps going! It’s like I’m stuck in some sort of horror themed Dr Who episode where terrible things are happening just offscreen but the terror is palpable.

I guess, let me put it this way. Last month I had a needle stuck in each of my eyes. I would rather do that again than continuing this. But I am so tough, so macho, so manly and totally a man’s man that I’m going to cry like a little baby and keep on reading!

~strikes macho pose

Don’t even think about questioning my utter hatred of this absolute piece of moldering, maggot infested tripe. I hate this enough to finish it.

Chapters 17-End – In Which Bookstooge proves that nothing is more implacable than him.

I finished this. I finished this disgusting piece of shit and I feel bad. I feel terrible. I feel terrible that I wasted my time. I feel terrible that a person can exist whose mind is even capable of writing utter drivel and dreck like this. There is NO justification for this novel or it’s influence on Cyberpunk. But it explains why I’ve always hated cyberpunk. I probably blocked out the details of my previous read but my subconscious kept the truth just out of focus, but still there.

This is the exact scenario I imagine when I don’t listen to my gut and a read goes disastrously wrong. I knew I was going to hate this, based on my original read from years ago, but I had no idea it would be this bad. I know I haven’t given you analytical details. But when your eyeballs have been gouged out and your entrails are sliding out of your sliced up stomach, will you really tell someone “Oh boy, this really hurts. Gibson just scooped my eyeballs out, cut my abdomen open and is in the process of ripping my guts out.” No, you’d be screaming and clawing and too busy dying horribly. That is my experience with this book. Melodramatic? Absolutely! Is this is horrible book? Even MORE absolutely.

I have serious regrets about re-reading this book. It sucked all the joy out of reading for me for weeks on end. It has burned out my desire to write reviews and I don’t know when I’ll recover. But as I view the wreckage that is my literary self, I can cross my arms in satisfaction, KNOWING that I was tougher than this book. I beat it. I finished it. AND I BLOODY WELL WROTE ABOUT EVERY EXCRUCIATING EXPERIENCE. I am scalped, I am gutted, I am sliced to pieces but I stand here, screaming out into the internet, I STILL STAND!!!! I am tougher than this book. I am more determined than Gibson ever could be. I am victorious because I beat this book to a bloody pulp and it’s not getting up and walking away from this, while I am.

This was a crucible experience and now I am on the other side. Let the healing begin.


This post was brought to you by SciFiMonth2024 and hosted by various individuals. I’ll hold Bookforager responsible this time though 😉

✬☆☆☆☆


From Wikipedia

Synopsis – click to open

Henry Dorsett Case is a low-level hustler in the dystopian underworld of Chiba City, Japan. Once a talented computer hacker and “console cowboy”, Case was caught stealing from his employer. As punishment, Case’s central nervous system was damaged, leaving him unable to access the virtual reality dataspace called the “matrix”. Case is approached by Molly Millions, an augmented “razorgirl” and mercenary on behalf of a shadowy US ex-military officer named Armitage, who offers to cure Case for his services as a hacker. Case agrees, and his nervous system is repaired, though sacs of poison are placed in his blood vessels. If Case completes the job, Armitage will have the sacs removed; if not, they will burst and cripple him again.

Armitage has Case and Molly steal a ROM module that contains the saved consciousness of one of Case’s mentors, legendary cyber-cowboy McCoy Pauley.

Case and Molly discover Armitage’s former identity as Colonel Willis Corto. Corto was a member of “Operation Screaming Fist,” meant to disrupt Soviet computer systems. As his team attacked a Soviet computer center, EMP weapons shut down their flight systems. He and a few survivors escaped over the Finnish border, but their helicopter was shot down, killing everyone except for Corto. After months in a hospital, Corto was visited by a US government official, who returned him to the United States to receive psychotherapy and reconstructive surgery. After providing what he came to realize was false testimony, misleading the public and protecting corrupt military officers, Corto snapped, killed the official who contacted him, and disappeared into the criminal underworld, becoming Armitage.

In Istanbul, the team recruits Peter Riviera, a sociopathic thief and drug addict. The trail leads Case to Wintermute, an artificial intelligence created by the Tessier-Ashpool family. The Tessier-Ashpools spend their time in cryonic preservation at Freeside, a cylindrical space habitat which functions as a Las Vegas-style space resort for the wealthy.

Wintermute reveals itself to Case and explains that it is one half of a super-AI entity planned by the family. It has been programmed with a need to merge with its other half, Neuromancer, and has recruited Armitage and his team since it cannot achieve this goal by itself. Case is tasked with entering cyberspace to pierce the software barriers with an icebreaker program. Riviera is to obtain the password to the lock from Lady 3Jane Marie-France Tessier-Ashpool, the CEO of the family’s corporation.

Armitage’s personality starts to revert to the Corto personality as he relives Screaming Fist. It is revealed that Wintermute had originally contacted Corto through a computer during his psychotherapy, creating his Armitage persona. As Corto breaks through, he is uncontrollable, and Wintermute ejects him into space.

Riviera meets Lady 3Jane and tries to stop the mission, helping Lady 3Jane and Hideo, her ninja bodyguard, capture Molly. Under orders from Wintermute, Case tracks Molly down. Neuromancer traps Case within a simulated reality after he enters cyberspace. He finds the consciousness of Linda Lee, his girlfriend from Chiba City, who was murdered by one of his underworld contacts. He also meets Neuromancer, who takes the form of a young boy. Neuromancer tries to convince Case to remain in the virtual world with Linda, but Case refuses.

With Wintermute guiding them, Case goes to confront Lady 3Jane, Riviera, and Hideo. Riviera tries to kill Case, but Lady 3Jane is sympathetic towards Case and Molly, and Hideo protects him. Riviera flees, and Molly explains that he is doomed anyway, as she had spiked his drugs with a lethal toxin. The team makes it to the computer terminal. Case enters cyberspace to guide the icebreaker; Lady 3Jane is induced to give up her password, and the lock opens. Wintermute unites with Neuromancer, becoming a superconsciousness. The poison in Case’s bloodstream is washed out and he and Molly are profusely paid, while Pauley’s ROM construct is apparently erased at his own request.

Molly leaves Case, who finds a new girlfriend and resumes his hacking work. Wintermute/Neuromancer contacts him, claiming it has become “the sum total of the works, the whole show” and is looking for others like itself. Scanning recorded transmissions, the super-AI finds a transmission from the Alpha Centauri star system.

While logged into cyberspace, Case glimpses Neuromancer standing in the distance with Linda Lee, and himself. He also hears inhuman laughter, which suggests that Pauley still lives. The sighting implies that Neuromancer created a copy of Case’s consciousness, which now exists in cyberspace with those of Linda and Pauley.