Dune: Part 2 (2023 Movie)

When I watched Dune Part I, I knew the director Villeneuve was taking liberties with the story but didn’t mind that much. So going into Part II, I knew he would continue to make changes and I mentally and emotionally prepared myself. And it was good that I did, because there were some significant changes from the book.

• Paul and Chani never had their first son, so he was never killed by Rabban.
• Alia, Paul’s preborn sister, was not born in this movie. She was totally in-vitro the entire time. So she never killed the Baron. That fell to Paul.
• Chani was a fremen warrior and nothing else. She was not the protege of Lady Jessica, a Wise Woman in training.
• Paul’s transformation into Muad’dib was very understated. His visions were ones of billions starving, instead of a monstrous galaxy wide jihad where billions were killed. His prescient sight was almost non-existent.

I could live with those changes. I didn’t care for them and I thought the director was wrong, but I was ok. I was fine with this movie and those changes.

Until the last five minutes of the movie. Then I exploded at the last scene. I was angrier than I have ever been about changes from a book to a movie. I was angrier than when Lucas changed the dvd release of Return of the Jedi and cgi’d in Christian Hayden at the ghost scene with Yoda, Obi-Wan and Anakin Skywalker. I was ready to take a dull spoon to Lucas then.

And that was nothing to how I felt at the ending of this movie. I had gotten this bluray for my b-day and after that ending, I will be throwing it into the garbage along with Part I. I am so done with Villeneuve that I will never watch another movie by this expletive expletive expletive guy if I can help it. If there is a Dune Part III (which it really seems necessary as this doesn’t complete the book’s story at all), I will ignore it harder than I did Star Wars episodes 7, 8 and 9. Villeneuve is not only dead to me, he is the devil incarnate and the source of all evil in the world.

In Part I, Villeneuve kept the relationship between Paul and Chani kind of at odds, which made sense. But in the second part of the book, Chani and Paul were not just lovers, but soul mates. They had a child together. Chani knew that she had to share Paul as Duke Paul Atreides, Muad’dib the Fremen Leader and The Kwisatz Haderach, the genetic superman that was the next step in humanity’s path. She knew all this, even knew what the cost was, and she not only accepted it, she gave her heart and soul to support Paul. She was the bedrock upon which Paul rested. He knew his time was limited with her and he knew that any outcome that would prevent her death would make the Jihad unimaginably worse, trillions dead instead of billions. They were the two sides of one coin. In the book, Paul had to marry the daughter of the Emperor, Princess Irulan. But it was a marriage of politics and Chani was always his love and the mother of his children. Irulan was simply a figure head. Lady Jessica had to go through the same thing with her Duke Leto, being his concubine and mother of his heir, but leaving marriage open to other Great Houses. Jessica counseled Chani on the reality of the situation and Paul reassured Chani of his love and devotion. Chani knew what she had to sacrifice and chose to still love Paul.

In the movie, Chani storms out of the Imperial Hall and calls a worm to go off by herself into the desert. She abandons Paul. She abandons Duke Paul Atreides. She abandons Muad’dib. She abandons the Kwisatz Haderach. She abandons who she was in the book.

If Villeneuve will make such a fundamental change to a character, he has completely lost my trust.

From a purely technical side of things, I didn’t like this movie either. First, the bass track also contained the audio track, so if I wanted to hear what anyone was saying, I had to put up with floor rumbling noise that I could literally feel from 20feet away, while sitting on my couch. There is no need for crap like that. The other thing that annoyed me greatly was how dark many of the scenes were. There were times I turned my tv on and off to make sure it wasn’t misbehaving. There is no need to make a movie so dark that the audience HAS to sit in complete darkness to make out the details.

So between the technical annoyances and then the utter betrayal of the relationship between Paul and Chani. I ended up hating this movie. I don’t know what the normal person who has never read the book will think of this. They might be just fine. But I AM NOT JUST A NORMAL PERSON WHO HAS NEVER READ THE BOOK. Dune is as close to a sacred text as I’ll ever have in the fiction department.

Persuasion (2008 Movie)

Having read Persuasion last week, I just couldn’t pass up an opportunity to watch a new-to-me movie version. I have previously watched the 1995 version, but it really felt like that version just touched on the highlights of the story without getting into the nitty gritty details. It was enjoyable but not something I’d ever want to watch again. So I cruised on over to Amazon and perused their free offerings of Austen’s works. Thankfully, this 2008 BBC production was available, so I sat back and enjoyed.

First, this went off the story in a couple of places, mainly the ending. In this, Wentworth somehow buys the Elliott home estate and gives it to Anne as a wedding present. That never happened in the book. There were also a couple of smaller issues throughout the movie but they weren’t enough to really take notice of.

What really stood out to me was the emotional side of things. There was one scene where Anne is reading a letter from her brother-in-law stating that Wentworth is sure to be married. She’s just sobbing and you can feel her pain, the knowledge that she will never have the chance to be with Wentworth ripping her heart completely apart. You’d have to be a stone, or never experienced that level of heartbreak, to not be moved by it. That scene alone made this a great movie.

I really enjoyed watching this for free. I don’t think I’d go out and buy it, but if you can see it for free, go for it! Of course, read the book first. ALWAYS read the book first.

John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023 Movie)

Excess. Nihilistic Excess. This was not actually a movie. This was a video game with a body count so high that I’m never going to view the original John Wick film in the same light. JW should have been the lowest bar that has ever been set in terms of sheer violence. Sadly, it ended up being the top level of an underground bunker.

I have enjoyed each successive John Wick movie less and less. To the point where I actually questioned whether I would watch this or not. I enjoyed the pure brutality of the first movie. This, this made me sick and question myself as I kept on watching instead of turning it off. 

The Muppets Christmas Carol (Movie 1992)

And here we go, the first bend in the railroad as the Christmas Carol Express begins to go off the rails! Choooo chooo!

First off, besides the Muppets, Michael Caine has the starring role as Ebenezer Scrooge. If a movie has Michael Caine in it, you know it’s going to be a good movie. While fringe nut job yobs might try to present evidence to the contrary, I simply ask my readers, who are you going to trust? Me, or some fringe nut job yob?
Michael Caine = you know you are getting a good movie.

On to the slightly more serious.

The singing. Muppets movies always have singing, whether the audience wants it or not. I’ve resigned myself to this fact and tried to not let it unduly influence me. Of course, just because Michael Caine is a good actor doesn’t mean he’s a good singer. He does take part in one song and I have to admit, he’s not terrible but I think things might have had a bit more glitz if they’d dubbed him over with Michael Jackson, who was still arguably the Prince of Pop in ’92. The message conveyed by the songs are as trite and shallow as you’d expect from a Disney production but really, if you read Dickens’ book, he’s not really that much deeper.
Oh yes, the Missing Song. In the theatres, there is an extra song that was subsequently cut out from all dvd/bluray releases. I personally didn’t miss it but if you’re a completionist, it is supposed to be included in the next “upgrade” to this movie. 4K I believe. Simply one more way for Disney to bend you over and make you think you like it. The picture below shows the type of propaganda Disney promulgates.

On to the good stuff.

If you are a fan of the Muppets and their zaniness, then this is a no-brainer to watch, even if Dickens isn’t your cup of tea. Between Fozziwig (a cute play on Fozzi’s name being used for that character) and his Rubber Chicken Factory to Gonzo playing Charles Dickens (and being distracted by every chicken that walks by) to Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy playing Bob & Mrs Cratchett, you get your fill. While a knowledge of the Muppets isn’t essential, knowing them as The Muppets gives an added dimension to the fun. An example would the single scene where Sam the Eagle is sending a young Scrooge off to his first place of business as an apprentice and rhapsodizes about the the beauty of business. Sam ends it with “…and that is the American Way!”. Gonzo whispers in his ear and Sam immediately says “…and that is the British Way!”. Which is really funny if you know that Sam is the proto-American Super Patriot as a Muppet.

The story proceeds at a rapid pace and almost feels like Scrooge changes for the sake of changing. However, this is in keeping with the original book and shouldn’t surprise anyone. Throw in that this movie was made for a juvenile audience and the pacing is perfectly in line with what out of touch Hollywood Directors think is appropriate for your child. Just don’t expect a deeply thoughtful, insightful and deeply philosophical movie and you should be just fine. You’re in this for the singing, dancing and laughs.

This gets a big fat thumbs up from me.

A Christmas Carol (1999 Movie)

Last year, I listened to A Christmas Carol narrated by Patrick Stewart. After reading the original novella by Dickens and then listening to it again narrated by Tim Curry, I wanted to dive into the visual side of things with a serious start. There were so many options to choose from that I decided to stick to something that I was semi-familiar with. So Patrick Stewart as Scrooge it was.

This movie definitely takes liberties, mainly in padding out scenes merely alluded to in Dicken’s novella. But the director didn’t try to change the spirit of things. To me, that’s important.

Of course, Patrick Stewart being Ebenezer Scrooge takes center stage. I thought he did a fantastic job. From the beginning at the burial scene of Jacob Marley, Stewart projected that tightfisted, angry, self-centered and utterly materialistic man of the world. His facial expressions never wavered, never let the audience forget just what kind of man Ebenezer Scrooge was. And yet, just like in the story, I could SEE Scrooge changing as the night went on. It takes a consummate actor to display such little changes without coming across as hamming it.

The story is short and so thus is the movie. It’s done before it even started. I sat down to watch it and boom, it was over! I like that. No messing around, just tell the story and move on with your life. More movies should take the hint.

Sense and Sensibility (1995 Movie)

Wow. Just wow. I am pretty wow’ed at the moment. But let me explain, because it does take a bit of explaining, especially with how I’m going to describe things in the following paragraph.

The Book, a fully fledged beautiful woman in flowing period gown. She swishes, she glides, she sits, she pours your tea with aplomb and brings a glow to every room she enters. The 2008 TV Miniseries is a painting of that woman. Beautiful and wonderful and as it hangs on your wall, it brings back wonderful memories of the woman herself. This 1995 Movie is a skilled impersonator. You know it isn’t the Lady herself, but she looks like her, acts like her and carries off her manner and attitudes so that from across a room you could fool yourself into thinking it is her.

Now I realize that might sound like a slur, but in reality, it is the highest complement I can give. This movie has the very bones of Austen’s novel. It has the heart and soul of it. Most of the changes were excisions and I was fine with all of the changes. Why I was ok with the changes in this movie I do not know, but it worked, and it worked very well.

I am sure that some of my comfort with this movie was the amount of actors that not only did I recognize but recognize as very good actors. Kate Winslet was perfect as Marianne. I’m sure part of that was her actual youth (she was a mere 19 at the time) but she also simply brought a very real energy to the role. And yet she didn’t steal the movie. There were too many other wonderful actors. Emma Thompson as Elinor. Hugh Grant as Edward Ferrars. Oh, Hugh carried off the “awkward and stilted” Edward to a t. It was like he had a pebble in his boot and a thistle in his britches. It was exactly as I imagined Edward to be. Then we come to Alan Rickman, playing Colonel Brandon. What an understated performance. In this version, I’d like to mention one of the side characters. Hugh Laurie plays Mr Palmer, a very minor character even in the book. He was a cold, self-centered man and he starts out that way in the movie. He has a silly wife and is either silent or speaking very cutting remarks. But as Marianne’s sickness progresses, Laurie manages to convey a deep well of sympathy and humanity in just a scene of 30 seconds. I just had to nod my head in admiration.

I have to say, I enjoyed this way more than the miniseries. It felt like a perfect movie and it swept me along. I’m extremely happy to have watched this. Now I have to live with myself knowing I’ve got two more movies to watch and neither of them are this one. Mercy on my soul….

The Wolverine Trilogy (Movie)

Instead of just watching X-Men: Origins: Wolverine (my goodness, what idiot thought that mashed potato filled title was a good idea?) like I intended, I ended up watching all three of the Wolverine movies. They are:

• Origins (2009)
• The Wolverine (2013)
• Logan (2017)

(all titles above link to the Wikipedia pages. I’m not going to waste time putting up synopses for these) I am glad to have gotten them all out of the way. After Logan, I was left gnashing my teeth, almost foaming at the mouth and fully decided to watch no more X-Men movies.

Origins, as the title declares, is the origin story of Wolverine. It’s not canon, it’s not even inline with the previous X-Men films, but I enjoyed this a lot. It was a comic book super hero movie and it leaned into that unabashedly. From stupid, face-palming one liners to scenarios so outrageous that your brain has to stop, this was fun from top to bottom.

The Wolverine was a bit darker, had Famke Jannsen as Jean Grey haunting Wolverine’s mind and ended up with a battle between Wolverine and a giant Mecha made out of adamantium. That Wolverine destroys with a heated adamantium super sword. Yakuza, kidnappings, corruption, like I said, darker. But at the same time, it felt like it was trying to be more serious than Origins but it was just as comic book’y. But it was trying to play it straight. It almost worked, but whereas I found myself just accepting stuff in Origins, for this movie I kept thinking “That’s stupid. That doesn’t make sense. How would that EVEN work?” Those are not questions I should be asking if I want to enjoy a movie.

Then we come to Logan. An old Wolverine is taking care of an insane and incontinent Professor X and there’s some new breed of Mutant X warriors, blah, blah, blah. This was rated R (where the previous two were pg-13) and boy did they run with that rating. Logan AND Professor X swear worse than sailors, the hopelessness of everything just oozes off the screen and in a move that I found rather despicable, Logan spends five minutes screaming at the little girl (X23?) about how comic books are lies and not real and should be ignored. That is when I decided to mentally check out. Comic books have never claimed to be real or “like the real world”. The whole flipping point is to give some kids an escape for a couple of minutes and to show them something good. There is a reason they used to be about Super HEROES, and not just about super powered individuals. Hope, comic books offered hope to kids in a form they could understand. And this movie took that hope, mind raped it, gouged its eyeballs out, cut its legs off and then sat back and smugly said “So, where is your hope now, puny human?” I was sickened, disgusted and totally put off by the message.

So I’m done with the X-Franchise. To be perfectly honest, Logan affected me enough that I’m considering not reviewing another movie until after new years.

X3: The Last Stand (2006 Movie)

The last of the original X-Men trilogy. Sadly, Brian Singer did not direct this, as he had gone on to do that horrible Superman Returns movie. So it is hard to judge if this movie was really as bad as it was because of him leaving or if it was just a bad movie all on its own.

While I didn’t hate it, it was a chore to watch the whole thing. The biggest problem was that whoever the writers were, they simply tried to pack in way too much into the one movie. You have a very poorly done Dark Phoenix arc (Jean Grey is the most powerful mutant EVAH but kept it under control with Professor X’s help and she goes bad), you have a story about Magneto declaring war on humanity and assembling a massive army of mutants, you have a “cure” for mutantism that causes schisms amongst mutankind, you have some of the major mutants being killed off and you have a whole new crop of Team X-Men and evil Mutants being introduced.

It was just too many story threads and instead of being woven seamlessly together, they were all raggedly cut off to make room for the other threads.

Then you have the characters. They do not act like how they did in the previous 2 movies. Especially Professor X. Instead of taking time to explain anything, to anyone, he just starts roaring about how he knows best and everybody needs to listen to him. Perfect example of a megalomaniac in fact, and he’s supposed to be the good guy. Rogue decides to get the vaccine so she can have a relationship with Iceman, who is in the midst of his own little triangle with Shadowcat, ie, Kitty Pryde.

It was messy, uncoordinated and not a well executed film. Not one I’ll ever be rewatching. I’d say it’s only for those who want to watch the entire X-Franchise instead of good films.

X2: X-Men United (2003 Movie)

The second X-Men movie, subtitled X-Men United, follows right in the footsteps of the first movie. This time around Senator Striker is manipulating mutants with the end goal of taking over Cerebro and using its powers to kill all the mutants in the world. Nice guy right? At the same time Wolverine is on the hunt for his past and lost memories. Plus, there are a lot of little rabbit trails that are like crack to comic book fans of the time.

In this movie, the human/mutant interaction is really ramped up, the looming war seemingly right on the horizon and the threat to mutantkind almost realized. We also get a bunch more mutants but each one has very little screen time and almost no character development. Nightcrawler is the perfect example. He’s brought on board to the X-team but beyond being blue and able to teleport, he’s nothing.

I think Wolverine’s storyline was more interesting than the main one about Striker trying to kill all the mutants. While the “kill all the mutants” might be interesting to a 14 year old, with the promise of world wide chaos, I liked the more personal touch here. Probably explains why I enjoyed Origins so much. This just extremely busy. It’s one of the reasons I am not a big fan of Team Superheroes. I like the focus to be on one person.

I think Singer does a good job here. Not an excellent job, but a good job. I enjoyed watching this again but unlike the first movie, I’m not sure I’ll ever bother re-watching. This is definitely a comic book movie but not in the bestest way the first movie was.

The twist at the end where Xavier is set to kill all regular humans instead of mutants was about as subtle as a baseball bat to the head. But whatever, it fit with the comic book motif perfectly.

On a weird note, the actor who plays Striker is the same man who plays Boris the Russian diplomat in the RED duology. Hearing him speak with a slight southern drawl was very disconcerting as I’m used to him being all “Dah, Comrade” and whatnot. It was one thing I could not get past.

Overall, this was a good fun re-watch on a Sunday afternoon but not one I’d unreservedly recommend.

X-Men (2000 Movie)

X-Men, directed by Brian Singer, was one of the first really well done Super Hero movies. The first Spiderman movie hadn’t come out yet, but neither had such flops like Ghostrider, Elektra or the Fantastic Four duology. A brand new cinematic world was opening up to us.

And it was glorious!

I was rather hesitant to re-watch this, as I had such good memories and did NOT want to sully them; Marvel has done that well enough on its own. But my goodness, I had so much FUN watching this.

It definitely helped that much of the storyline was familiar to me from the 90’s X-Men comics. But it was a comic book and it just reveled in it. I mean, Magneto has a massive mutant making machine already installed in the torch of the Statue of Liberty? Come on, that’s ridiculous. And it worked perfectly because it is exactly how badguys always operate in the comics. This was not a Zack Snyder grimfest or deconstructionist dystopia. Singer has a love of the goodguys kicking butt, overcoming great odds and looking good doing it 🙂 It also wasn’t 3hrs long. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

While I have enjoyed the Infinity War story arc that the MCU took us on, by the end I was ready for it to be done. I was ready for standalone movies with standalone stories. Kind of like this movie in fact. Which might explain just why I enjoyed it so much. While there are 2 sequels, this could easily be watched as a standalone. That really appeals to me.

So if you are a comic book fan and you want to watch a superhero film that is just plain fun and gives you a good time, watch X-Men.

Shrek Forever After (2010 Movie)

The Fourth, and supposedly final, Shrek film. I enjoyed my time watching this, and rewatching it, and I plan on enjoying it when I watch it again in the future. BUT. I have to deliberately not think for that to work.

It is Shrek’s kids 1st birthday and Shrek is feeling overwhelmed at being a responsible adult and has a fight with his wife Fiona and gets tricked by Rumplestiltskin and has to convince Fiona (because the world changed) to fall in love with him all over again, only now she’s in ogre form and leading a band of freedom fighter ogres against Emperor Stiltskin. And of course it happens and the world is back on course and we get our happily ever after.

There’s a lot of grrrrl power lingo jazz thrown around and at one point Fiona states that she had to save herself. It was not subtle or woven in, but just hammered. Then you have Shrek not being able to cope with being a dad and not an ogre any more. I feel like the writers didn’t know how to deal with family life and so just put Shrek in a situation that they remembered from some sit-com way back when.

At the same time, I thought the basic idea was very good. Shrek gets to be a complete ogre for one day in exchange for giving one other day to Rumplestiltskin. So Rumple chooses the day of his birth, so Shrek never gets born, never rescues Fiona and thus they never fall in love and have a family. Shrek comes back to this world, he remembers how it is supposed to be and has until midnight to convince Fiona that they are indeed true love’s vessels. It was silly but at the same time it was heart breaking. The relationship between Shrek and Fiona has always been the backbone of the franchise, no matter how shallow or trivial, and to see that ripped away from only one of them really amped up the pathos for me.

This was a decent end to the franchise.

Shrek the Third (2007 Movie)

IMDB states:
“Reluctantly designated as the heir to the land of Far, Far Away, Shrek hatches a plan to install the rebellious Artie as the new king while Princess Fiona tries to fend off a coup d’état by the jilted Prince Charming.”

What they forget to mention is that Artie is Arthur Pendragon, Fiona is pregnant and Shrek is having a real problem coming to grips with his approaching fatherhood. The coup by Prince Charming is rolled back as easily as it happened and the movie ends with Fiona and Shrek having triplets.

Prince Charming as the villain is more of a joke, which is ok for a kids movie, but once again, there are lines here and there and references that I wouldn’t want a kid of mine hearing or seeing. The crassness levels are toned down. There is one scene though where Shrek and Fiona are all dressed up like French Royalty and Shrek has an itch on his bum. So he gets a flute player to scratch his bum and of course that is when the curtain rises and the entire assembly sees it. I laughed so hard.

The whole King Arthur storyline pushed the interactions between Donkey, Shrek and Puss n Boots to the side and the writers really didn’t come out shining. His story arc was predictably shallow and “emotional” and then wham, done. On the plus side, there is a scene where Shrek is trying to “relate” to Artie and talks like some sort of 60’s hippy teen on weed. Once again, that was gold! But one scene isn’t enough to carry a whole movie for character interaction.

This is step down from Shrek 2 and while I still enjoyed it, I think it definitely entered into stupid territory instead of clever territory. I could feel the steam running out of the franchise.

Shrek 2 (2004 Movie)

This was a direct sequel to Shrek and was released in 2004. All the excruciating details are under the details code at the end.

I enjoyed this movie a lot. While it is a bit shallower in terms of storyline, it is vastly more amusing (in my opinion) as the parody of other movies really ramps up.

My favorite scene is when a group of the fairytale creatures are rescuing Shrek, Donkey and Puss-n-Boots and Pinocchio goes wire diving to the Mission Impossible music just like Tom Cruise did in the original MI movie. Of course, this being a Shrek movie, he gets all tangled up and tied at the end. So he has to lie so Gingie the gingerbread man can run along his nose to unlock Shrek. The whole scene just keeps me in stitches even after having watched it uncounted times. Ahhh, good times.

The whole thrust of the movie about accepting your family and yourself was laid on with a thick stick, but really, I didn’t mind it as I didn’t feel like it was thrust down my throat at every turn, unlike some movies today.

The introduction of Prince Charming as the vain and self-centered jerk was perfect. He was good enough that he’ll be in the next film as the main villain in fact.

Newlyweds Shrek and Princess Fiona return from their honeymoon to find they have been invited by Fiona’s parents to a royal ball to celebrate their marriage. Shrek initially refuses to attend, but Fiona convinces him, and along with Donkey, they travel to the kingdom of Far Far Away. They meet Fiona’s parents, King Harold and Queen Lillian, who are shocked to see the ogres, with Harold particularly repulsed. At dinner, Shrek and Harold get into a heated argument, and Fiona, disgusted at their behavior, locks herself away in her room. Shrek worries that he is losing Fiona, particularly after finding her childhood diary and reading that she was once infatuated with Prince Charming.

Harold is secretly reprimanded by the Fairy Godmother, as her son, Prince Charming, was to marry Fiona in exchange for Harold’s own happy ending. She orders him to get rid of Shrek, so Harold arranges for Puss in Boots to assassinate him under the guise of a hunting trip. Unable to defeat Shrek, Puss reveals that he was paid by Harold and offers to be an ally. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss sneak into the Fairy Godmother’s factory and steal a “Happily Ever After” potion that Shrek thinks will make him good enough for Fiona. Shrek and Donkey both drink the potion but nothing happens. Shrek laments before he and Donkey both suddenly fall asleep. Meanwhile, in Far Far Away, Fiona prepares to find Shrek so they can return home, but she too falls asleep.

The following morning, the potion transforms Shrek and Fiona into humans, and Donkey into a white stallion. In order to make the change permanent, Shrek must kiss Fiona by midnight. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss return to the castle. However, the Fairy Godmother, having discovered the theft, has sent Charming to pose as Shrek and win Fiona’s love. At the Fairy Godmother’s urging, Shrek leaves the castle, believing that the best way to make Fiona happy is to let her go.

Fiona does not reciprocate Charming’s advances, so to ensure she falls in love with Charming, the Fairy Godmother gives Harold a love potion to put into Fiona’s tea. This exchange is overheard by Shrek, Donkey, and Puss, who are arrested by the royal knights after Donkey inadvertently exposes them. While the royal ball begins, friendly fairy-tale creatures rescue the trio from jail, and they storm the castle with the help of a monstrous living gingerbread man created by the Muffin Man.

Shrek fails to prevent Charming from kissing Fiona, but instead of falling in love, Fiona knocks him out; Harold reveals that he swapped Fiona’s tea that has the love potion with another tea. The now-enraged Fairy Godmother tries to kill Shrek with her magic wand, but Harold jumps in front of it; the spell ricochets off his armor and disintegrates her. With the Fairy Godmother gone, Harold reverts into the Frog Prince. Harold apologizes, admitting to using the “Happily Ever After” potion years earlier to gain Lillian’s love, and approves Shrek and Fiona’s marriage. Lillian assures Harold that she still loves him. As the clock strikes midnight, Fiona rejects Shrek’s offer to remain human, and they revert into ogres, while Donkey also returns to normal. In the mid-credits scene, Dragon, who had previously married Donkey, reveals that they now have several dragon-donkey hybrid babies.

Shrek (2001 Movie)

Shrek was released in 2001 by Dreamworks Studios. Featuring the voice talents of such big names as Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and John Lithgow, it follows the adventures of the ogre Shrek as he ends up rescuing Princess Fiona and in the process falls in love with her and breaks the curse that kept her in the dragon guarded castle. It’s not as easy as it sounds, as Ogres just don’t marry Princesses and Prince Farquad has some rather short thoughts on the matter.

The entire thrust of this movie is turning Fairytale Tropes on their heads. And mixing in a lot of anachronistic ideas, words and music. And it works beautifully. I laughed my head off.

But for many years I avoided this movie assiduously. Shrek is an ogre and as such, is just plain gross when it comes to bodily humor. He farts in his mud baths, pulls enough wax out of his ears to create a candle, belches at the drop of a hat and just generally is disgusting. I didn’t want that. But one day I watched it and I was sold, lock, stock and barrel.

Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy, as Shrek and Donkey, are the perfect comedy duo. Donkey is a talking donkey that just won’t shut up and boy, the writers did a great job in giving him his dialogue. Myers on the other hand, is a great one for one liners, quips and references to other movies at the time. The Matrix is referenced, as is Babe: Pig in the City. I’m sure there are a LOT more that cineastes would catch.

While this is an animated film, there are too many crass parts, too many innuendos and too many adult humor bits for me to say this is fine for kids. I know it is rated G but no way is it suited for General Audiences.

They don’t write movies like this any more. They weren’t just trying to tell a trope breaking comedy, but an actual story with a beginning, middle and end. While there was a message about not judging people on their appearances or without getting to know them, it never overwhelmed the story and was actually incorporated into things so it didn’t come across as ham handed virtue signaling that makes you want to puke your guts up like in a lot of recent movies.

This was probably my 7th or 8th time watching this and I still laughed my head off, enjoyed every second and thought it was still great. I don’t know that it will strike everyone the same way, or be as re-watchable, but for me, this movie has entered into Classic territory and I plan on watching this many more times over the coming years.

Event Horizon (1997 Movie)

Event Horizon is a 1997 Space Horror movie directed by Paul Anderson, who later went on to direct many of the Resident Evil movies.

I really like this movie. If you had told me beforehand that I’d like a space horror movie that involves a possessed spaceship that kills it crew, well, I’d probably have looked at you funny and suggest you get your head checked.

The basic story is that in 2040 the Event Horizon, utilizing a new gravity drive to break the speed of light, disappears with all crew. The movie starts 7 years later when it mysteriously re-appears. A rescue ship is sent with a small crew to find out what happened. Along with them is Dr Weir, the creator of the gravity drive. They get to the ship, it’s abandoned but something is on board and begins killing them. Dr Weir gives in to be with what appears to be his dead wife and only 3 members of the rescue crew survive and make it back to earth. The Event Horizon goes back to the alternate dimension of hell that it came from.

On this rewatch, I realized that part of the reason I like this so much is because there are little flashes from the hell dimension that remind me of the cenobytes from Hellraiser, another horror movie that surprised me by how much I liked it. Nothing big mind you, just these very quick, almost too fast to process, images of the former crew and the current crew, going through tortures with chains and spikes, etc.

Of course, being a horror movie, there are some really stupid, illogical parts that you have to turn your brain off for. First and foremost, how does the entire scientific world forget the latin language in 50 years? The last message from the Event Horizon has the captain saying something in latin but no one on Earth recognizes it? Secondly, most of the crew do not act like seasoned space rescue operators. They act like the jomokes down at the local Cumberland Farms who hang out in the parking lot smoking weed, thus turning themselves into dumb as bricks idiots.

On the plus side, Sam Neal as Dr Weir, going off the deep end, is fantastic. He has guilt about his wife committing suicide way back when because he chose work over her and how the entity mimics her is a joy to behold. His unravelling is superb, as he’s a jerk to begin with. Laurence Fishburne is the captain of the rescue ship and he’s appropriately hard nosed yet caring.

The only part I wish had been different would have been the ending. 3 of the crew survive and are rescued. One of them thinks the rescuers are the possessed Dr Weir and has a break down but the movie ends very clearly with them having escaped. What I would have appreciated is a scene showing them still on the Event Horizon, living their rescue over and over and it failing each time. THAT would have been much more inline with the tone of the movie.

Man, can you believe I am suggesting a worse ending instead of a happier one? Surprises me too! I guess that plays a part in why I like the movie so much.

A Muppet Retrospective

Back in December of 2020 I watched and reviewed The Muppet Christmas Carol. That one lone act sent me down a path that has taken me 2 years to complete. Last month I wrapped up my Muppet Journey of Discovery with Muppets Haunted Mansion. Now I want to talk about the journey as a whole instead of piecemeal like I did for each movie or television season.

Overall, this was some of the best entertainment that I have had in decades. While not every movie or episode landed, the good so far outweighed the mediocre or bad that I think of the journey as Bookstooge’s Totally Excellent Journey. Jim Henson had an idea, ran with it until he felt he had reached the top and then stopped. People should be left wanting more, AND NOT GET IT. Learning to control your desires and to put up limits on them is good for us. It is what we have not done and look at the mess our entertainment is in today. Hollywood can’t (or won’t) even tell a good story nowadays because of excess and mental gluttony. I think the Muppets were a counter to that and each try to revive the show proved that Henson was correct. Not that some of the stuff that came later was total garbage, some of it was quite good, but we as viewers would have been better people without it.

I don’t want to wax too philosophical here, OR anti-cinema/movie, because either of those issues is an easy rut for me to slide into and I tend to repeat my main points over and over again as comments in various places, so no need to repeat it here. But when the aliens come and abduct all the cinemas, you won’t see me mounting a rescue mission to get them back, jus’ sayin’. But I will sit back and debate with you if the aliens had the moral right to take the cinemas or not. So grab that rocking chair, because we’ll be sitting on that porch a long time! (and bring your megaphone, I’m tired of those kids ignoring me when I yell at them to get off of my lawn)

Out of everything I watched, I suspect that the original Muppet Show itself (all 5 seasons) will be the only thing I try to rewatch every 5-10 years. I’m running out of words very quickly for this but some of that is because these are movie and tv related instead of a series of books. I have a very hard time explaining what goes on inside me for that aspect of entertainment. I don’t even know why, as you’d think that it would be almost the same as talking about how a book affects me. But nope. I actually thought about scrapping this post half way through but figured it would be easier to finish it up than to try to start something new and stumble all over that. And I haven’t even hit the 500 word mark yet. Aye yi yi.

If you want some good entertainment, watch the original Muppet tv show. If you’re hooked, then check everything else out.