Jane Austen: Henry and Eliza 4Stars

 

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Title: Jane Austen: Henry and Eliza
Series: ----------
Author: Jane Austen
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Juvenilia
Pages: 6
Words: 2K
Publish: 1788

I just laughed out loud while reading this. I gave it the “humor” tag because of that. It is complete satire but it is just hilarious. I liked the ending where Eliza raises an army and destroys her enemy. It was just written so blithely and simply done!

Once again we get another “modern girl” cover, but these are about the only ones I can find for the individual stories. All of these stories are contained within Austen’s “juvenilia” but I want them read and reviewed on their own. I doubt I’m ever going to read them again, so I don’t want a post labeled “Juvenilia” and two sentences about how short these all are. At least now I will remember that this particular story tickled my funny bone to no end. Good enough.

★★★★☆

From “https://www.janeaustensummer.org/post/austen-250-reader-henry-eliza”

Sir George and his wife, Lady Harcourt, while supervising the haymakers in their work happen to come upon an orphaned child who is nestled in the foliage. Taken with the beautiful young girl, and having no children of their own, the couple adopt the foundling, name her Eliza, and raise her according to their own code of principles—placing a premium on possessing a love of virtue while harboring a hatred of vices.

            Life is splendid for all until, just after she turns the age of eighteen, Sir George and Lady Harcourt catch Eliza stealing a fifty-pound banknote. She is promptly turned out of the house, but she bears the punishment well. Rather than despair, she asks her friend, Mrs. Sarah Wilson, to help her acquire a place serving as a personal companion to a great lady. Pleased to be able to aid Eliza in this endeavor, Mrs. Wilson writes a letter of recommendation to the Duchess of F., asking the greatly esteemed lady to welcome Eliza into her home.

            The Duchess of F. is delighted to be of assistance and sets out to make Eliza’s acquaintance at once. She has but one daughter, Lady Harriet, who is soon to be wed to Mr. Henry Cecil, so she is thrilled to welcome Eliza as her new companion. Harriet, as well, is inclined to like Eliza and insists they behave as though they are sisters.

            The affectionate bond between them is not nurtured for long because shortly thereafter, Eliza and Henry fall in love. They elope and leave behind only a short, callous letter that provides no consolation to the Duchess or her daughter. Enraged, Her Grace hires three hundred men and orders them to track the couple. Should they kill Henry and Eliza on sight, that is permissible, but the Duchess would prefer they be brought back alive so she may be granted the pleasure of confining and torturing them herself.

            The couple flees and winds up living in France for three years. During that time, Eliza gives birth to two boys, but has the great misfortune of burying her husband while abroad. Now widowed, she wishes to return to England. Upon setting foot on land at Dover, she and the boys are seized by the Duchess’ men and conveyed to a prison.

            After being trapped for a few weeks, Eliza and her children manage to escape, but then they have no means by which to live. She decides they must seek out Sir George and Lady Harcourt. She hopes they will be merciful.

            When she and the children get closer to her former home, she spies Lady Harcourt and Sir George in a carriage and calls out to them. That is when Lady Harcourt reveals an odd secret. Eliza is not just an adopted child but is their biological daughter. When Sir George sailed for America, she was pregnant and eventually gave birth to a daughter. Certain that her husband would be disappointed to see a little girl rather than the son he so desired, she hid the child in a haycock. She forgot all about doing as much until she heard Eliza call out to them presently. But now, she recognizes the voice of her daughter and wishes to reconcile with her completely. Sir George agrees. He absolves Eliza from all wrongdoing.

            Just as soon as she is restored to her former place at Harcourt Hall, she raises an army and bids them march against the Duchess of F. Eliza earns the commendation and gratitude of thousands when her men demolish the Duchess’ prison cell.

• All My “Jane Austen” Reviews

• Reading Austen 2025 Master Post

Witches Abroad (Discworld #12) 4Stars

 

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Title: Witches Abroad
Series: Discworld #12
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 202
Words: 81K

I enjoyed this, had almost no problems with the philosophy presented by Pratchett and just watched as the story unfolded before me. This is how ALL of Pratchett’s stories should be. So I will appreciate it when it happens.

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia.org

Following the death of the witch Desiderata Hollow, Magrat Garlick receives Desiderata's magic wand, for Desiderata was not only a witch but also a fairy godmother. By giving the wand to Magrat, she effectively makes Magrat the new fairy godmother to a young woman called Emberella, who lives across the Disc in Genua. Unfortunately, Desiderata does not give Magrat any instruction on how to use the wand, so almost everything that Magrat points it at simply becomes a pumpkin.

Desiderata had promised a servant girl (providing a twist on Cinderella) named Emberella that she would not be forced to marry the Duc, the figurehead leader of Genua, who is in actuality really a frog, transformed by the magic of Emberella's other fairy godmother, Lady Lilith de Tempscire. Now it is up to Magrat and her companions, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, to ensure Emberella does not marry the Duc, despite the desires of Lilith, who wishes to ensure a 'happy ending' by utilizing the Discworld's narrative-based nature - because the servant girl marrying the Prince makes for a happy fairy tale, Lilith reasons that on the Disc, this must hold true as well, whether the marriage is consensual or not.

The trio of witches journey to Genua, which takes some time and involves numerous mis-adventures, such as an encounter with a village terrorised by a Vampire (where Nanny Ogg's cat Greebo catches it in bat form and eats it), an incident where they encounter a Running of the Bulls-like event, and a house falling on Nanny's head which she survives thanks to her hat with the willow reinforcement. Upon arrival in Genua, Magrat goes to meet Emberella, while the two older witches meet Erzulie Gogol, a voodoo witch and her zombie servant, Baron Saturday (who was also her late lover).

It is at this time that Magrat finds out that Emberella has two fairy godmothers, Magrat and Lilith. It was Lilith who had manipulated many of the various stories that the Witches had traveled through and who was now manipulating Genua itself, wrapping the city around her version of the Cinderella story. Lilith has had people arrested for crimes against stories, including the arrest of a toymaker for not being jolly, not whistling and not telling the children stories. At this point it is revealed that Lilith is actually Lily, Granny Weatherwax's older sister. The trio learn that she is planning a masked ball where-in Emberella is supposed to meet the Duc.

Using hypnosis, Granny convinces Magrat to attend the masked ball in place of Emberella. Greebo is transformed into human form to aid the witches. Emberella's dress fits, but the glass slippers do not. After enjoying themselves for a while at the ball, the witches are discovered and are cast into a dungeon.

At that point, Emberella, Mrs. Gogol and Baron Saturday arrive at the ball, having broken the witches out of their prison with the aid of Cassanunda (a dwarf and the Disc's second greatest lover). A high concentration of magic causes the Duc to revert to his frog form, and he is trampled by Baron Saturday, causing Lily to flee. Granny starts to follow, but Mrs. Gogol, wanting to kill Lily, tries to stop Granny by using a voodoo doll. Granny thrusts her arm into a flaming torch and preys upon Mrs. Gogol's own belief in the power of the doll to make it burst into flames. Granny Weatherwax then pursues Lily.

Emberella is informed that, as the daughter of the late Baron Saturday, the previous ruler of Genua, she is now Duchess of Genua. Her first command is to end the ball (she dislikes them) and attend the Mardi Gras parade, a form of binge-drinking carnival.

Granny manages to defeat Lily by trapping her in a mirror, unable to 'find herself', and the three witches return home. Granny shows Magrat how to use the wand to do magic, and that it takes more than wishing - the secret is that there are adjustable dials on the wand. Magrat throws the wand into a river, to be lost forever. Then the Witches go home, the long way, and see the elephant.

• Witches Abroad (2007 Review)

• All of My “Discworld” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Rincewind” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Witches” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Death” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: The Watch” Reviews

Reaper Man (Discworld #11) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Reaper Man
Series: Discworld #11
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 204
Words: 79K

Pratchett writes some really funny and light stuff, about serious subjects. I was ok with that 20 years ago, but now, not so much. Mainly because I vehemently disagree with Pratchett’s starting point, his foundation as it were. So everything built up on that is more and more off. Ideas might take a long time (ie, multi-generational) to foment, but they do affect us, no matter how small and those changes affect how we raise the next generation. And the more I read of Pratchett, the more I am convinced he knew this, that Ideas Are Powerful, and wasn’t just writing for the fun of it.

So if you don’t think about Eternity, or some of the Big Questions, you’ll have a blast like I did 20 years ago. If you do take this seriously, you’ll still enjoy the story and find some really funny bits but it will be like eating creampuff when you already know you’re overweight and at risk for a heart attack.

And on THAT cheery note, I’m wrapping this up. Because I have a feeling my reviews of Pratchett are going to go along these lines unless I can find some way to turn off my inner philosophical voice. Not sure that is possible though.

★★★✬☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

The Auditors of Reality watch the Discworld to ensure everything obeys The Rules. As Death starts developing a personality the Auditors feel that he does not perform his Duty in the right way. They send him to live like everyone else. Travelling to the Octarine Grass Country, he assumes the name "Bill Door" and he works as a farm hand for the elderly Miss Flitworth. She is a spinster whose fiancé, Rufus, died on a last smuggling expedition many years ago. There are rumours that he had had second thoughts about their marriage but she does not believe them.

While every other species creates a new Death for themselves, humans need more time for their Death to be completed. As a result, the life force of dead humans starts to build up; this results in poltergeist activity, ghosts, and other paranormal phenomena. Most notable is the return of the recently deceased wizard Windle Poons, who was really looking forward to reincarnation. After several misadventures, including being accosted by his oldest friends, he finds himself attending the Fresh Start club, an undead-rights group led by Reg Shoe. The Fresh Start club and the wizards of Unseen University discover that the city of Ankh-Morpork is being invaded by a parasitic lifeform that feeds on cities and hatches from eggs that resemble snow globes. Tracking its middle form, shopping trolleys, the Fresh Start club and the wizards invade and destroy the third form, a shopping mall.

When humankind finally thinks of a New Death, one with a crown and without any humanity or human face, it comes to take Bill Door. Death/Door, having planned for this moment for some time, outwits and destroys it. Having defeated the New Death, Death absorbs the other Deaths back into him, with the exception of the Death of Rats (and ultimately, the Death of Fleas). Death confronts Azrael, the Death of the Universe, and states that the Deaths have to care or they do not exist and there is nothing but Oblivion, which must also end some time.

Death asks for and receives some time. He meets up with Miss Flitworth again and offers her unlimited dreams. She asks to go to the local Harvest Dance. They prepare and join the townspeople for a full night of dancing.

As the sun is coming up, Miss Flitworth realizes she had died hours before the dance even started. Death escorts her through back history to her old fiancé: as she had believed, he had died in an accident and not been unfaithful. The young couple enter the afterlife together.

Returning to the city of Ankh-Morpork, Death meets up with Windle Poons, finally taking him to his afterlife. At the end there is also a discussion between Death and the Death of Rats over what the Death of Rats should "ride", Death suggests a dog while the Death of Rats suggests a cat.

• Reaper Man (2001 Review)

• Reaper Man (2007 Review)

• All of My “Discworld” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Rincewind” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Witches” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Death” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: The Watch” Reviews

Slave (Groo the Wanderer #43) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Slave
Series: Groo the Wanderer #43
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K
Publish: 1988

The misadventures occasioned by Granny Groo continue. Granny sells Groo into slavery and tells Rufferto (Groo’s dog) to guard Groo’s swords. Thus she gets rid of both Groo and Rufferto, gets some money and goes on her way unhindered.

There is a running gag (one among many) about Groo being called “mendicant” and going ballistic about it because he doesn’t know what it means but thinks it is an insult. Aragones leans HARD into that joke in the following panel. I laughed my head off:

Of course Groo and Rufferto (now Rufferto the Swordsdog!) are reunited. Considering Granny stole away, I am kind of hoping Aragones is done with her character for now and we get somebody new for Groo to interact with. We’ll see what future issues hold.

I thoroughly enjoyed this 24 page comic. I laughed, then I laughed some more and finally, I laughed even more. Aragones humor, while not exactly like mine, parallels it enough that he never fails to get a good chuckle from me. I always look forward to reading the Groo comic each month and I want to keep it that way. If I was in a weird mood, I could read 20 Groo comics in a row and have a Groo Month, but I know I would burn out and that is a fate I want to avoid at all costs.

★★★✬☆

From Bookstooge

After the debacle from the previous issue, Groo and Granny are chased out of town by an angry mob. Granny wants to recoup some of what she lost AND get rid of Groo. She convinces Groo she is going to sell him as a slave and then “save” him later, like she used to do when he was a child. She gives Groo’s swords to Rufferto and sells Groo into slavery. Without his swords, Groo is helpless. Rufferto is very proud of now being a Swordsdog and brags to all the local dogs, who laugh at him. Even as an unarmed slave, Groo gets into so much trouble that everyone wants to kill him and without his swords, everybody IS about to kill him. Rufferto shows up at the last second and gives Groo his swords and thus the tables are turned on everybody else. Groo and Rufferto are reunited in their proper role as Unstoppable Swordsman and Trusty Canine Companion. The issue ends with Groo wondering how Granny is going to rescue him since he already rescued himself.

• All of My “Groo the Wanderer” Reviews

Moving Pictures (Discworld #10) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Moving Pictures
Series: Discworld #10
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 267
Words: 97K

When I read this back in ‘07, I really didn’t like it. I gave it 3stars back then, but it was one of my least favorite Discworld reads to date.

This time around, I thoroughly enjoyed this, mainly because Pratchett just skewers Hollywood and movies and it totally aligns with my absolute disgust with movies and the people who make movies and tv their hobby. Brainless, gormless, garbage. While Pratchett and I didn’t see eye to eye on many, many things, I am man enough to admit that he got at least one thing right. Hollywood is evil and does so much damage that it is incalculable.

With that, I just HAD to bump this up a coveted half star. I know Pratchett is wriggling in his grave with pleasure. He should be.

★★★✬☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

The novel begins with the death of Deccan Ribobe, the last member of an ancient order tasked with 'remembering' Holy Wood through ceremonial chanting, and the escape of an influence from Holy Wood Hill. Several months later, the alchemists of the Discworld have invented moving pictures. Many hopefuls are drawn by the siren call of Holy Wood, home of the fledgling "clicks" industry – among them Victor Tugelbend, a dropout from Ankh-Morpork's Unseen University and Theda "Ginger" Withel, a girl "from a little town you never ever heard of", and the Discworld's most infamous salesman, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, who introduces commerce to the equation and becomes a successful producer. The business of making movies grows rapidly, and eventually Victor and Ginger become real stars, thanks to the help of Gaspode the sentient dog (who also develops a manager-client relationship with Laddie, who everybody considers to be the real Wonder Dog, although in fact is very simple-minded). Holy Wood for a while becomes an effervescent place full of humans, dwarfs, alchemists, demons (which essentially constitute the main technological device to make movies), and trolls (among whom is Detritus) all living in harmony.

Meanwhile, it gradually becomes clear that the production of movies is having a deleterious effect on the structure of reality. After Victor discovers the body of Deccan and the ancient order's record, Ginger is possessed by an unspecified entity and she and Victor find an ancient, hidden cinema, complete with a portal to the Dungeon Dimensions. Back in Ankh-Morpork, during the first screening of Blown Away (a parody of Gone with the Wind) which the senior wizards of the Unseen University are also attending, a creature from the Dungeon Dimensions breaks through. Victor fights it (in what eventually becomes a parody of the movie King Kong also featuring the Librarian of the Unseen University), having discovered that he could exploit Holy Wood magic and the narrative conventions of the clicks if he had a camera pointing at him. However, after the creature is defeated, Victor and the Librarian realise that the creatures will still try to get through from the Dungeon Dimensions and that Ginger in her possessed state was not trying to summon them but trying to keep them from coming through (possibly as a result of being descended from the High Priestess of Holy Wood). Returning to the ancient cinema at Holy Wood, Victor and Ginger witness a golden statue of a warrior (reminiscent of an Oscar) come to life and travel through the screen to defeat the creatures.

In the end most things return to normal (also because the Patrician and the wizards make it clear that they will not allow any more movies to be produced ever again), although dwarfs find themselves inexplicably singing "Hihohiho" while mining. Victor and Ginger have a last dialogue over the meaning of Holy Wood and being famous, and Gaspode and the other animals under the influence of Holy Wood lose their ability to reason and speak. The ending lines depict a poetic scene about the fragility of Holy Wood dreams.

• Moving Pictures (2007 Review)

• All of My “Discworld” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Rincewind” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Witches” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Death” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: The Watch” Reviews

Service with a Smile (Blandings Castle #8A) 4Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Service with a Smile
Series: Blandings Castle #8A
Author: P.G. Wodehouse
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Humor
Pages: 173
Words: 57K

I believe this was actually supposed to be #8 in the Blandings Castle series, but Wikipedia let me down and claimed this was an “Uncle Fred” story, even though it features everyone from Blandings AND takes place at Blandings Castle. One more proof that Wikipedia is a hotbed of liberals and communists with a political agenda!

It has been over a year and a half since I read a PG Wodehouse story and I found that that break did wonders. I thoroughly enjoyed this completely recycled novel. There was not ONE original part of a story in this. Connie yells at her brother the Duke. Young Love is thwarted and reunited. Pigs are kidnapped, or not. Money changes hands at the speed of blackmail. Plus some of the usual smaller things. And I still had a blast.

That is all I ask of a Wodehouse novel. And that’s all you are getting for a review.

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia

Myra Schoonmaker is staying at Blandings Castle, her London season having been cut short by Connie. Connie is not happy that Myra wants to marry the impoverished East End curate Bill Bailey. Lord Emsworth is not happy with his sister, with his latest secretary Lavender Briggs and with the houseguest Duke of Dunstable. Adding to the unpleasantness, Lady Constance invites a party of Church Lads to camp out at the lake, young boys who enjoy taunting Emsworth.

When Connie says she will be away for a day having her hair done in Shrewsbury, Myra contacts Bailey, arranging to meet in a registry office and get married. Bailey, with his friend Pongo Twistleton and Pongo's Uncle Fred, waits at the selected spot, but Myra does not appear. Uncle Fred is an old friend of Myra and her father, and he likes Bailey. Fred then meets Emsworth, who is in London to attend the Opening of Parliament), and invites himself to Blandings to help Emsworth, the unhappy earl. He brings Bailey under the name of "Cuthbert Meriweather", an old friend returned from Brazil.

At the castle, Bailey and Myra are reunited, after learning each was waiting at a different registry office. The Church Lads trick Emsworth into diving into the lake to rescue one of their number, which turns out to be a log. This leads the Duke of Dunstable to again question Emsworth's sanity, always manifest in Emsworth’s affection for his pig. Emsworth, at Fred's suggestion, takes his revenge on the Church Lads by cutting the ropes of their tent in the small hours.

Dunstable plans to steal the pig and sell it to Lord Tilbury for £2000. Lavender Briggs proposes to do the work of stealing the pig for £500; Dunstable will not sign a contract, so she insists he make a clear verbal agreement. Briggs enlists the pig man Wellbeloved to help and she has a second assistant available. She goes to London to deposit the cheque.

Myra tells Uncle Fred that Briggs is blackmailing her beloved Bailey, as she has recognised him, into helping with the pig scheme. Before Fred can come up with a plan, Bailey confesses all to Lord Emsworth, who in his wrath fires both Briggs and Wellbeloved. Emsworth then relates all of this to his sister, including Meriweather’s true identity. Connie orders Fred and Bailey out of the castle; they stay, as Fred threatens to reveal to the county that Beach cut the tent ropes, which would lead to embarrassment and the loss of a superlative butler. Upset at her failure in finding a good match for Myra, Connie cables James Schoonmaker to come to her aid from his home in New York.

When George Threepwood tells Dunstable that he has photographed his grandfather in the act of cutting the tent ropes, Dunstable realises that Briggs is no longer needed, as he can blackmail Emsworth into parting with the pig with the photos. He meets up with Tilbury at The Emsworth Arms, where Lavender Briggs, returned from her day in London and unaware she has been fired, overhears him telling Tilbury he has cancelled her cheque; Dunstable raises the price for Tilbury to £3000 for the pig, which Tilbury will consider. After Dunstable leaves, Briggs approaches Tilbury, her former employer, with her offer to steal the pig for Tilbury at a lower price; he accepts and pays her. On leaving the inn, Briggs meets Uncle Fred, who tells her that Emsworth has fired her; he advises her to head back to London to deposit Tilbury's cheque. She wants this money to open her own secretarial service.

Schoonmaker arrives, answering Connie's request. Fred intercepts him at the railway station and takes him to the Emsworth Arms, where they catch up on old times. Fred informs his old friend of Myra's engagement to Archie Gilpin, which she did after breaking off with Bailey for his rash confession). Schoonmaker reveals he loves Connie, but lacks the courage to propose. Fred tells him that she has feelings for him, encourages Schoonmaker to propose to her. Later Gilpin tells Fred he has once again become engaged to Millicent Rigby, with whom he had had a minor falling out, and now finds himself engaged to two girls at once; he needs £1000, to buy into his cousin Ricky's onion-soup business and support his future wife. Fred encourages Archie to break it off with Myra.

Uncle Fred tricks Dunstable into thinking Schoonmaker is broke, and persuades him to pay out £1000 to get his nephew Archie out of his engagement to Myra. Fred persuades him that Bill Bailey is a more suitable match for Myra. Connie is in tears on hearing Myra is engaged to Bailey, which gives Schoonmaker the nerve to propose to Connie. With help from Lavender Briggs, Fred plays for Dunstable the tape-recording of him scheming to steal the pig. In return for Fred keeping that quiet, Dunstable turns over the photos of Lord Emsworth to Fred. Fred keeps the tape so Dunstable will not stop the cheque to his nephew Archie.

With Bill and Myra off to a registry office, Archie back with Millicent and set up in business, Connie and Schoonmaker engaged and Dunstable well and truly scuppered, Fred smiles at the services he has done for one and all.

Eric (Discworld #9) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Eric
Series: Discworld #9
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 94
Words: 35K

While I enjoyed this, this is also where I feel that Pratchett lost the zaniness that is Rincewind. Don’t get me wrong, Pratchett tries, he really does. But the magic is gone, completely.

Amusing but not really funny. I would still recommend this if you’re reading Discworld. Every little bit helps fill in the bigger picture of just how crazy that world is.

Well, onward to the next book...

★★★✬☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

The story is a parody of the tale of Faust, and follows the events of Sourcery in which the Wizard Rincewind was trapped in the Dungeon Dimensions. Rincewind is summoned by the thirteen-year-old demonologist, Eric Thursley, who wanted a demon to grant his heart's desires. He is disappointed when Rincewind tells him he is unable to grant wishes. Rincewind is disheartened to learn that the spells to confine demons work on him; Eric's parrot tells him that because he was summoned as a demon, he is subject to the same terms. The arrival of Rincewind's Luggage causes Eric to suspect deceit on Rincewind's part. Eric's demands are renewed and Rincewind finds that snapping his fingers allows him to grant the following wishes.

• To be Ruler of the World. Eric and Rincewind are transported to the rain forests of Klatch in the Tezumen empire (a parody of the Aztec Empire). The locals declare Eric Ruler of the World. During this tribute, Rincewind and the parrot explore the temple of Quezovercoatl (a parody of Quetzalcoatl), where they find a prisoner, Ponce da Quirm (a parody of Juan Ponce de León), who is to be sacrificed. Da Quirm tells Rincewind about the terrible fate the Tezumen have planned for the Ruler of the World, on whom they blame all of life's misfortunes. Rincewind, Eric and da Quirm are tied up at the top of a pyramid to be sacrificed, when Quezovercoatl makes his appearance. Unfortunately for him, the Luggage also makes an appearance, trampling the six-inch-tall Quezovercoatl in the process. The Tezumen, pleased to see Quezovercoatl destroyed, release the prisoners and deify the Luggage in the place of their god.

• To Meet the Most Beautiful Woman in All History. Rincewind transports himself and Eric inside in a large wooden horse (a parody of the Trojan Horse). Exiting, they are surrounded by Tsortean soldiers, who take them for an Ephebian invasion force. Rincewind manages to talk their way out from the guards and out of the city, only to fall into the hands of the invading army. Rincewind and Eric are taken to Lavaeolus, the man who built the horse as a decoy so that he and his men could sneak in while their enemies waited around the horse for them to come out. They re-enter Tsort through a secret passage, and find Elenor (a parody of Helen of Troy). Eric and Lavaeolus are disappointed to find that Elenor is now a plump mother of several children, and that artistic licence had been taken in her description. The Ephebians escape the city while Tsort burns, and Lavaeolus and his army set out for home. Eric notes that "Lavaeolus" in Ephebian translates to "Rinser of Winds", hinting that Lavaeolus is an ancestor of Rincewind.

• To Live Forever. Rincewind brings Eric and him outside time, just before the beginning of existence. They meet the Creator, who is just forming the Discworld. Rincewind and Eric are left on the newly formed world, with the realisation that "to live forever" means to live for all time, from start to finish. To escape, Rincewind has Eric reverse his summoning, taking them both to hell.

They discover hell steeped in bureaucracy, the Demon King Astfgl having decided that boredom might be the ultimate form of torture. Rincewind uses his university experience to confuse the demons, so he and Eric can escape. While crossing through the recently reformed levels of hell (satirical forms of Dante's Inferno) they encounter da Quirm and the parrot, as well as Lavaeolus, who tells them where the exit is.

The source of Rincewind's demonic powers is revealed to be Lord Vassenego, a Demon Lord leading a secret revolt against Astfgl. Using Rincewind to keep Astfgl occupied while gathering support amongst the demons, Vassenego confronts his king just as Astfgl finally catches up to Rincewind and Eric. Vassenego announces the council of demons has made Astfgl "Supreme Life President of Hell", and that he is to plan out the course of action for demons. With Astfgl lost in the bureaucratic prison of his own making, Vassenego takes over as king and lets Rincewind and Eric escape, so that stories about hell can be told. As they leave, Rincewind and Eric notice that the path they are fleeing along has good intentions written on each cobble.

• Eric (2007 Review)

• All of My “Discworld” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Rincewind” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Witches” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Death” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: The Watch” Reviews

The Finality Problem (Warlock Holmes #5) 5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Finality Problem
Series: Warlock Holmes #5
Author: Gabriel Denning
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy Parody
Pages: 248
Words: 96K

This book is analogous to Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, as that was the book where Doyle “killed” off Holmes, only to bring him back years later and write three more books worth of stories about him. In this book Warlock takes the plunge over Reichenbach Falls with Moriarty, who has possessed Watson’s wife Mary.

I knew going into this that this was how things ended AND that this was written back in late 2020. With no new published Warlock Holmes book since. I thought I might be upset about that. I wasn’t, not one tiny bit. It fit perfectly as the parody that this series is and if we don’t get any more Warlock Holmes books, I will be disappointed, but not devastated; nor will it set me off on a rant and make me castigate myself for ever reading the first book. I already plan on re-reading this series at some point; I had that much fun with it.

I had two little niggles with this book, which I think need airing. First, the relationship between John and Mary. I know that Denning really mocks everything in this series, but I found it extremely hard to stomach his mocking marriage that way. They HATE each other but because of “magic” have to be with each other. It’s the very definition of a toxic relationship and I hated it. The second was Watson’s continued blathering about the end of the world due to a demon invasion/apocalypse. He’s gone on about that ever since the first book, but I’ve seen zero evidence of it. Just because demons exist doesn’t mean that without Warlock our dimension will be invaded. The world survived until Warlock was born after all. So there you go, two niggles. And I won’t even charge you a nickle!

Once again, being familiar with the Sherlock Holmes canon will help your enjoyment of these stories tremendously. Each story IS amusing on its own, but if you know the original, you can see how Denning has twisted things and that makes it just that much more amusing. I suspect you have to have a particular kind of humor to appreciate it though. I definitely have that.

Finally, I’d like to thank Mogsy (again) for introducing me to this series. If it weren’t for her, I’d never have heard of this nor would I have had the inclination to try these. I had so much fun that I am extremely thankful for that intersection on the bookish highway. Here is her review of The Finality Problem. At the end of her review she has links to all her reviews of the previous books, if you are interested. I too have included links to my previous reviews down below.

★★★★★

From the Publisher

The famous duo has been split! Watson has been banished from Holmes's company. Despite the interference of his horrible wife, Mary, Watson tirelessly insinuates himself into every magical adventure he can. Together, he and Holmes face a man with a twisted... everything, some very questionable juice-drinking Germans, Garrideb the Devourer and the estimable Irene Adler. Yet, nothing can prepare them for Moriarty's new form and the terrible moment they must face their Finality Problem at the edge of the Reichenbach Falls.

• A Study in Brimstone (Book 1)

• The Hell-Hound of the Baskervilles (Book 2)

• My Grave Ritual (Book 3)

• The Sign of Nine (Book 4)

Guards! Guards! (Discworld #8) 4Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Guards! Guards!
Series: Discworld #8
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 259
Words: 98K

One hundred percent better than when I read this back in 2007 (link at the bottom of the review). A lot of that is that I’ve read enough of Discworld to know now that it’s not all madcap silliness, like I was expecting back then. It also helps that I’m reading these in publication order and keeps me from getting tunnel vision on one set of characters (Rincewind, the Witches, Death, etc) and hitting a wall when a book is about a different set. I am really liking reading these this way because it feels more well rounded and Discworld as a setting is fleshed out more by the various characters instead of being seen from just one perspective.

I had forgotten just how broken Vimes is at the beginning. In many ways this is a redemption story and yet, it’s not. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but part of it is more about Vimes himself pulling himself up by the bootstraps than any redemption. Vimes (for some reason I always want to say “Grimes”) is a very humanistic literary character and I can see why Pratchett chose to create him and why many readers of Discworld identify with him. There’s nothing of the supernatural intruding into Vime’s life to make him question life’s basic questions. There’s just crime and grime and apathy. He can overcome those things on his own with no help (as thus enable the reader to feel that they can too). I have a feeling that is one of the reasons I didn’t care for The Watch sub-series as much before.

I still don’t like that direction, but having interacted a lot more with people of no faith in the last 17 years has given me a broader and hopefully more sympathetic feeling towards those who would feel like Vimes does. They are wrong, but I’m not so likely to shake my finger at them and lecture them for 30 min. I cut that down to just 10 minutes now ;-)

The story was fun. Rogue magic user politician wannabe takes over the city and gets in WAY over his head. Vimes and the Night Watch help figure things out while the Patrician sits back and lets things play out. It was a relatively light story with only Ankh-Morpork at stake and not the whole of Discworld. Grimes, blast it, Vimes, has enough Everyman Banal Thoughts to make those not used to thinking for themselves feel like they are reading something deep while the rest of us can safely roll our eyes and think about kicking Vimes in the pants to get him out of his funk.

Now that I’ve read the first of The Watch books again and enjoyed it so much, I am looking forward to the rest of them. I really wasn’t before, but I think that reading the books in publication order is going to continue to make a night and day difference for me.

Cheers to that!

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia.org

A secret monastic order plots to overthrow the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork and install a puppet monarch under the control of the Order. They summon a dragon to terrorise the city and plan to have the puppet "slay" the dragon and claim to be the lost heir of the defunct royal house.

The Night Watch, which is generally seen as both corrupt and incompetent, starts to change with the arrival of idealistic new recruit Carrot Ironfoundersson, a human orphan raised by dwarfish parents. When the Librarian of the Unseen University (an orangutan) reports a book of magic stolen, Vimes links the theft to the dragon's appearances. The Watch's investigation makes the acquaintance of Lady Sybil Ramkin, who breeds small swamp dragons, and gives an underdeveloped dragon named Errol to the Watch as a mascot.

At first, the plot works flawlessly. The Patrician is ousted in favor of the new king, but the banished dragon returns and makes itself king, demanding gold and virgin sacrifices, and prepares to wage war against Ankh-Morpork's neighbours for the further acquisition of both (which the citizenry generally seem to approve of).

Vimes confronts his old childhood friend, the Patrician's Secretary Lupine Wonse, having figured out that he is the Supreme Grand Master, and responsible for the dragon's appearance. Vimes is imprisoned in the same cell as the Patrician. Vimes escapes with the help of the Librarian and runs to rescue Sybil, chosen as the first sacrificed maiden. After the remaining Watch fail to kill the king through a 'million-to-one chance' arrowshot, Errol fights it, and knocks it from the sky. The assembled crowd closes in to kill the king, and Sybil pleads for the dragon's life. Carrot arrests it, but Errol lets it escape. The dragon is in fact female, and the battle between them was a courtship ritual.

Vimes arrests Wonse, as he tries to summon another dragon, telling Carrot to "throw the book at him". Wonse falls to his death after the very literal Carrot hits him with a thrown copy of Laws and Ordinances of Ankh-Morpork.

The Patrician is reinstated as ruler of Ankh-Morpork, and offers the Watch anything they want as a reward. They ask only for a modest pay raise, a new tea kettle, and a dartboard. However, since the Watch's original station house was destroyed by the dragon, Lady Ramkin donates her childhood home at Pseudopolis Yard to serve as the new one.

• Guards! Guards! (2007 Review)

• All of My “Discworld” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Rincewind” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Witches” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Death” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: The Watch” Reviews

The Sign of Nine (Warlock Holmes #4) 4.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Sign of Nine
Series: Warlock Holmes #4
Author: Gabriel Denning
Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy Parody
Pages: 269
Words: 98K

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This has reignited my book hunger. While Sanditon started it and Mon Dieu Cthulhu and KTF Part II put a damper on things, The Sign of Nine has made me voracious again. Every time I put this book down, all I could think about was when I would be able to pick it back up.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t laughing out loud or reading horrible excerpts to Mrs B like I did with the first book, but it still fed my soul and I needed that. I was also ready to be fed. If I had read this even two weeks earlier I suspect I’d have been very “meh” about it.

It was the right book at the right time, so watch out. I suspect there will be a lot more book reviews in the coming weeks, even with my Love Saves the Day updates taking up Fridays and not posting on Sabbaths.

Once again I am impressed, and quite rightly, by Denning’s sticking to the short stories of Sherlock Holmes. Every story for Warlock Holmes is based on a story by Doyle and while they veer off, madly and wildly at times, the details included always keep us grounded in a very Holmes oriented world. If you’ve never read Sherlock Holmes, or read them so long ago as to have all the details be fuzzy for you, don’t worry, you won’t miss out on a thing. But if you DO remember the stories, you’re experience will be deeper, richer and oh so much more FUN! Denning continually riffs on the originals and you’ll miss out on all that humor, which would be a crying shame.

Watson is a complete wreck in this book. He is recovering from being poisoned by Irene Adler, he’s obsessed with her (any man who has been in love with a woman who he knows he simply cannot have will know that obsession), he’s obsessed with Moriarty, he’s taking a magical drug solution made out of his own blood and shredded Mummy and he’s got Holmes trying to “help” him. Mainly by getting him hitched to a woman so he’ll move out and stay out of Holmes’ sphere of influence, thus saving Watson’s life. That is the reason why this didn’t get the coveted 5Star Award from me.

In the originals, Watson marries one of the clients and has a happy, contented life with a wonderful woman who supports him. Here, Mary is a tyrant, who he hates on sight and she despises him just as much. Warlock intertwines their “fate” lines so they fall in love, but they still hate each other. I get why that is funny, but it didn’t work for me. Killing puppies is funny (like in the first book), but having people get married who literally want to kill the other isn’t. This is why humor is such a subjective thing. But that was my only issue and was relegated to the last chapter in the book.

Now we come to the future.

There is only one more book left in the series. Unfortunately, I have heard it ends on a cliffhanger as big as the one where Doyle killed off Holmes, but more cliffhanger’y. I’m going to read the final book, but I’m already wondering if that’ll be a mistake. While this book isn’t exactly a “great” ending, it does end on a pretty settled note. See, people who think reading has no drama are idiots. THIS is high drama.

I’d like to thank Mogsy for introducing this series to me over 5 years ago. Here is her review of this volume. Mogsy’s 2019 Review of “The Sign of Nine”.

★★★★✬

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From the Publisher

Synopsis – click to open

Warlock Holmes may have demons in his head, but now Dr. John Watson has a mummy in his bloodstream. Specifically that of the sorcerer Xantharaxes, who when shredded and dissolved in a 7% solution, results in some extremely odd but useful prophetic dreams. There’s also the small matter of Watson falling for yet another damsel-du-jour, and Warlock deciding that his companion needs some domestic bliss…

Pyramids (Discworld #7) 4Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Pyramids
Series: Discworld #7
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 253
Words: 88K

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This is the first “standalone” Discworld novel. By that I mean that none of the characters in this book ever return as main characters nor do we ever go back to the country the main character is from. This is simply a “Discworld” novel. While having read the previous six books will give you a slightly better overall view of Ankh-Morpork, not very much of the story actually takes place there and a better knowledge of that city will not actually affect your enjoyment of this book. But just like I stated in the previous book, Discworld “should” be read in the order that Pratchett published them. It “can” be read in almost any order, but it is just better the other way.

I was hoping that more of the story would take place in Ankh-Morpork, mainly because I wanted to see more of the Assassins Guild. That didn’t happen. So I pinned my hopes that when Teppic went back to be king that I’d get assassin guild hijinks then. Still didn’t happen. Teppic sneaks around a bit, but that’s the extent of we see of his years of training. I was disappointed. Pratchett seemed more focused on taking his bile out on religion in general in this novel than in telling a fun and engaging story. It was still a fun story, but if he’d written more like some of the earlier books (the Death books in particular, where he tackles a controversial subject, but without coming across like an angry jackass), this could have been so much better. I suspect the acolytes of Scyenze would like this more, as that is/was Pratchett’s pet godling.

Now that I’ve vented MY bile, do I have anything left? That’s a good question. It colors every word in this review. Huh, just like the novel! Amazing, hahahahahaa.

I would not recommend this as a starting place for Discworld even though it is a standalone. The writing isn’t as on point, the humor isn’t as funny and this gives you a glimpse of the author Pratchett would fully turn into near the end of the series. Spare yourself. At the same time, it’s still fun, it’s still entertaining and I don’t feel bad about re-reading this. I do know I would never choose to read this for a third time on it’s own again though.

★★★★☆

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From Wikipedia.org

Synopsis – click to open

The main character of Pyramids is Teppic (short for Pteppicymon), the crown prince of the tiny kingdom of Djelibeybi (a pun on the candy Jelly Baby, meaning “Child of the Djel”), the Discworld counterpart to Ancient Egypt. The kingdom, founded seven-thousand years ago and formerly a great empire which dominated the continent of Klatch, has been in debt and recession for generations due to the construction of pyramids for the burial of its pharaohs (primarily on prime agricultural land) and now occupies an area two miles wide along the 150-mile-long River Djel.

Young Teppic has been in training at the Assassins Guild in Ankh-Morpork for the past seven years, having been sent to bring in revenue for the kingdom. The day after passing his final exam by chance, he mystically senses that his father, Pteppicymon XXVII, has died and that he must return home. Being the first Djelibeybian king raised outside the kingdom leads to some interesting problems, as Dios, the high priest, is a stickler for tradition, and does not actually allow the pharaohs to rule the country.

When plans are being laid out for the old pharaoh’s tomb, Teppic (now Pteppicymon XXVIII) mentions that his father did not wish to be buried in a pyramid; in reaction to Dios’s rejection of this idea, Teppic ends up ordering the construction of a pyramid twice the size of the largest one previously built in Djelibeybi. Whilst the pyramid-building Ptaclusp dynasty work out how to build the pyramid within budget and on time (eventually taking advantage of the unfinished pyramid’s premature temporal distortions), the late Pteppicymon XXVII spends his time observing the embalming of his mortal remains and taking an interest in the lives of his embalmers, Dil and Gurn.

After numerous adventures and misunderstandings, Teppic is forced to escape from the palace with a handmaiden named Ptraci, who was condemned to death for not wishing to die and serve the late pharaoh in the afterlife (effectively on Dios’ orders since Teppic wished to pardon her). However, during the attempt, Dios discovers them and decrees that Teppic has killed the King (as the King is only recognised whilst wearing the Mask of the Sun and Dios reasons that Teppic’s actions to save Ptraci would not be those of the King) and should be put to death. Meanwhile, the massive pyramid warps space-time so much that it “rotates” Djelibeybi out of alignment with the space/time of the rest of the Disc by ninety degrees.

After Teppic and Ptraci manage to escape Djelibeybi, they travel to Ephebe to consult with the philosophers there as to how to get back. Meanwhile, pandemonium takes hold in Djelibeybi, as the kingdom’s multifarious gods (many of whom occupy the same roles, such as Supreme God, God of the Sun, or God of the Djel) descend upon the populace, and all of Djelibeybi’s dead rulers come back to life. Also, the nations of Ephebe and Tsort prepare for war with one another, as Djelibeybi can no longer act as a buffer zone between the two.

Eventually, Teppic re-enters the Kingdom and attempts to destroy the Great Pyramid, with the help of all of his newly resurrected ancestors. They are confronted by Dios, who, it turns out, is as old as the kingdom itself, and has advised every pharaoh throughout its history. Dios hates change and thinks Djelibeybi should stay the same. Teppic succeeds in destroying the Pyramid, returning Djelibeybi to the real world and sending Dios back through time (where he meets the original founder of the Kingdom, thereby restarting the cycle). Teppic then abdicates, allowing Ptraci (who turns out to be his half-sister) to rule. Ptraci immediately institutes much-needed changes, Teppic decides to travel the Disc, Death comes to ferry the former rulers of Djelibeybi to the afterlife, and Djelibeybi’s former embalmers and pyramid-builders adjust to life without the pyramids.

• All of My “Discworld” Reviews
• All of My “Discworld: Rincewind” Reviews
• All of My “Discworld: Witches” Reviews
• All of My “Discworld: Death” Reviews

My Grave Ritual (Warlock Holmes #3) 4.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: My Grave Ritual
Series: Warlock Holmes #3
Author: Gabriel Denning
Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy Parody
Pages: 268
Words: 98K

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Once again, another fabulous read.

This time around, I was bowled over at just how Denning took a Sherlock Holmes short story, parodied it AND tied it into a bigger narrative that overarched the entire book. It was impressive, especially when you consider the original short stories about Sherlock Holmes weren’t really tied to each other. Denning did a great job of twisting the original stories and stringing them altogether to make a cohesive whole without making it feel clunky.

In that regards, Dennings really shows his writing chops. I really wish he had other books I could read but sadly, it appears that Warlock Holmes was his only literary endeavor.

I guess I shall have to just savor the final two Warlock Holmes’ books that I have left all the more. That’s not really a bad problem to have if you think about it…

★★★★✬

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From the Publisher

Synopsis – click to open

As they blunder towards doom, Warlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson find themselves inconvenienced by a variety of eldritch beings. Christmas brings a goose that doesn’t let being cooked slow it down; they meet an electricity demon, discover why being a redhead is even trickier than one might imagine, and Holmes attempts an Irish accent. And, naturally, Moriarty is hanging around… in some form or other. Just as Holmes and Watson are hitting their stride, a pair of ancient enemies return. James Moriarty reclaims his criminal empire and Irene Adler bests Watson with a kiss.