This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: The Sign of Nine Series: Warlock Holmes #4 Author: Gabriel Denning Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Parody Pages: 269 Words: 98K
This has reignited my book hunger. While Sanditon started it and Mon Dieu Cthulhu and KTF Part II put a damper on things, The Sign of Nine has made me voracious again. Every time I put this book down, all I could think about was when I would be able to pick it back up.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t laughing out loud or reading horrible excerpts to Mrs B like I did with the first book, but it still fed my soul and I needed that. I was also ready to be fed. If I had read this even two weeks earlier I suspect I’d have been very “meh” about it.
It was the right book at the right time, so watch out. I suspect there will be a lot more book reviews in the coming weeks, even with my Love Saves the Day updates taking up Fridays and not posting on Sabbaths.
Once again I am impressed, and quite rightly, by Denning’s sticking to the short stories of Sherlock Holmes. Every story for Warlock Holmes is based on a story by Doyle and while they veer off, madly and wildly at times, the details included always keep us grounded in a very Holmes oriented world. If you’ve never read Sherlock Holmes, or read them so long ago as to have all the details be fuzzy for you, don’t worry, you won’t miss out on a thing. But if you DO remember the stories, you’re experience will be deeper, richer and oh so much more FUN! Denning continually riffs on the originals and you’ll miss out on all that humor, which would be a crying shame.
Watson is a complete wreck in this book. He is recovering from being poisoned by Irene Adler, he’s obsessed with her (any man who has been in love with a woman who he knows he simply cannot have will know that obsession), he’s obsessed with Moriarty, he’s taking a magical drug solution made out of his own blood and shredded Mummy and he’s got Holmes trying to “help” him. Mainly by getting him hitched to a woman so he’ll move out and stay out of Holmes’ sphere of influence, thus saving Watson’s life. That is the reason why this didn’t get the coveted 5Star Award from me.
In the originals, Watson marries one of the clients and has a happy, contented life with a wonderful woman who supports him. Here, Mary is a tyrant, who he hates on sight and she despises him just as much. Warlock intertwines their “fate” lines so they fall in love, but they still hate each other. I get why that is funny, but it didn’t work for me. Killing puppies is funny (like in the first book), but having people get married who literally want to kill the other isn’t. This is why humor is such a subjective thing. But that was my only issue and was relegated to the last chapter in the book.
Now we come to the future.
There is only one more book left in the series. Unfortunately, I have heard it ends on a cliffhanger as big as the one where Doyle killed off Holmes, but more cliffhanger’y. I’m going to read the final book, but I’m already wondering if that’ll be a mistake. While this book isn’t exactly a “great” ending, it does end on a pretty settled note. See, people who think reading has no drama are idiots. THIS is high drama.
Warlock Holmes may have demons in his head, but now Dr. John Watson has a mummy in his bloodstream. Specifically that of the sorcerer Xantharaxes, who when shredded and dissolved in a 7% solution, results in some extremely odd but useful prophetic dreams. There’s also the small matter of Watson falling for yet another damsel-du-jour, and Warlock deciding that his companion needs some domestic bliss…
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Pyramids Series: Discworld #7 Author: Terry Pratchett Rating: 4 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Pages: 253 Words: 88K
This is the first “standalone” Discworld novel. By that I mean that none of the characters in this book ever return as main characters nor do we ever go back to the country the main character is from. This is simply a “Discworld” novel. While having read the previous six books will give you a slightly better overall view of Ankh-Morpork, not very much of the story actually takes place there and a better knowledge of that city will not actually affect your enjoyment of this book. But just like I stated in the previous book, Discworld “should” be read in the order that Pratchett published them. It “can” be read in almost any order, but it is just better the other way.
I was hoping that more of the story would take place in Ankh-Morpork, mainly because I wanted to see more of the Assassins Guild. That didn’t happen. So I pinned my hopes that when Teppic went back to be king that I’d get assassin guild hijinks then. Still didn’t happen. Teppic sneaks around a bit, but that’s the extent of we see of his years of training. I was disappointed. Pratchett seemed more focused on taking his bile out on religion in general in this novel than in telling a fun and engaging story. It was still a fun story, but if he’d written more like some of the earlier books (the Death books in particular, where he tackles a controversial subject, but without coming across like an angry jackass), this could have been so much better. I suspect the acolytes of Scyenze would like this more, as that is/was Pratchett’s pet godling.
Now that I’ve vented MY bile, do I have anything left? That’s a good question. It colors every word in this review. Huh, just like the novel! Amazing, hahahahahaa.
I would not recommend this as a starting place for Discworld even though it is a standalone. The writing isn’t as on point, the humor isn’t as funny and this gives you a glimpse of the author Pratchett would fully turn into near the end of the series. Spare yourself. At the same time, it’s still fun, it’s still entertaining and I don’t feel bad about re-reading this. I do know I would never choose to read this for a third time on it’s own again though.
★★★★☆
From Wikipedia.org
Synopsis – click to open
The main character of Pyramids is Teppic (short for Pteppicymon), the crown prince of the tiny kingdom of Djelibeybi (a pun on the candy Jelly Baby, meaning “Child of the Djel”), the Discworld counterpart to Ancient Egypt. The kingdom, founded seven-thousand years ago and formerly a great empire which dominated the continent of Klatch, has been in debt and recession for generations due to the construction of pyramids for the burial of its pharaohs (primarily on prime agricultural land) and now occupies an area two miles wide along the 150-mile-long River Djel.
Young Teppic has been in training at the Assassins Guild in Ankh-Morpork for the past seven years, having been sent to bring in revenue for the kingdom. The day after passing his final exam by chance, he mystically senses that his father, Pteppicymon XXVII, has died and that he must return home. Being the first Djelibeybian king raised outside the kingdom leads to some interesting problems, as Dios, the high priest, is a stickler for tradition, and does not actually allow the pharaohs to rule the country.
When plans are being laid out for the old pharaoh’s tomb, Teppic (now Pteppicymon XXVIII) mentions that his father did not wish to be buried in a pyramid; in reaction to Dios’s rejection of this idea, Teppic ends up ordering the construction of a pyramid twice the size of the largest one previously built in Djelibeybi. Whilst the pyramid-building Ptaclusp dynasty work out how to build the pyramid within budget and on time (eventually taking advantage of the unfinished pyramid’s premature temporal distortions), the late Pteppicymon XXVII spends his time observing the embalming of his mortal remains and taking an interest in the lives of his embalmers, Dil and Gurn.
After numerous adventures and misunderstandings, Teppic is forced to escape from the palace with a handmaiden named Ptraci, who was condemned to death for not wishing to die and serve the late pharaoh in the afterlife (effectively on Dios’ orders since Teppic wished to pardon her). However, during the attempt, Dios discovers them and decrees that Teppic has killed the King (as the King is only recognised whilst wearing the Mask of the Sun and Dios reasons that Teppic’s actions to save Ptraci would not be those of the King) and should be put to death. Meanwhile, the massive pyramid warps space-time so much that it “rotates” Djelibeybi out of alignment with the space/time of the rest of the Disc by ninety degrees.
After Teppic and Ptraci manage to escape Djelibeybi, they travel to Ephebe to consult with the philosophers there as to how to get back. Meanwhile, pandemonium takes hold in Djelibeybi, as the kingdom’s multifarious gods (many of whom occupy the same roles, such as Supreme God, God of the Sun, or God of the Djel) descend upon the populace, and all of Djelibeybi’s dead rulers come back to life. Also, the nations of Ephebe and Tsort prepare for war with one another, as Djelibeybi can no longer act as a buffer zone between the two.
Eventually, Teppic re-enters the Kingdom and attempts to destroy the Great Pyramid, with the help of all of his newly resurrected ancestors. They are confronted by Dios, who, it turns out, is as old as the kingdom itself, and has advised every pharaoh throughout its history. Dios hates change and thinks Djelibeybi should stay the same. Teppic succeeds in destroying the Pyramid, returning Djelibeybi to the real world and sending Dios back through time (where he meets the original founder of the Kingdom, thereby restarting the cycle). Teppic then abdicates, allowing Ptraci (who turns out to be his half-sister) to rule. Ptraci immediately institutes much-needed changes, Teppic decides to travel the Disc, Death comes to ferry the former rulers of Djelibeybi to the afterlife, and Djelibeybi’s former embalmers and pyramid-builders adjust to life without the pyramids.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: My Grave Ritual Series: Warlock Holmes #3 Author: Gabriel Denning Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Parody Pages: 268 Words: 98K
Once again, another fabulous read.
This time around, I was bowled over at just how Denning took a Sherlock Holmes short story, parodied it AND tied it into a bigger narrative that overarched the entire book. It was impressive, especially when you consider the original short stories about Sherlock Holmes weren’t really tied to each other. Denning did a great job of twisting the original stories and stringing them altogether to make a cohesive whole without making it feel clunky.
In that regards, Dennings really shows his writing chops. I really wish he had other books I could read but sadly, it appears that Warlock Holmes was his only literary endeavor.
I guess I shall have to just savor the final two Warlock Holmes’ books that I have left all the more. That’s not really a bad problem to have if you think about it…
★★★★✬
From the Publisher
Synopsis – click to open
As they blunder towards doom, Warlock Holmes and Dr. John Watson find themselves inconvenienced by a variety of eldritch beings. Christmas brings a goose that doesn’t let being cooked slow it down; they meet an electricity demon, discover why being a redhead is even trickier than one might imagine, and Holmes attempts an Irish accent. And, naturally, Moriarty is hanging around… in some form or other. Just as Holmes and Watson are hitting their stride, a pair of ancient enemies return. James Moriarty reclaims his criminal empire and Irene Adler bests Watson with a kiss.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Wyrd Sisters Series: Discworld #6 Author: Terry Pratchett Rating: 4 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Pages: 210 Words: 85K
I really enjoyed this. I do wonder though if in another decade the references that Pratchett makes to such people as the Marx Brothers, Laurel & Hardy and Charlie Chaplin will be as meaningless as references to Britney Spears. A grasp of Shakespeare, while not essential, will make the read much fuller.
The humor, while not laugh out loud, felt genuine and actually funny, unlike in Sourcery. The humor of the witches is earthy and natural and springs from human nature itself. Which is why I think it feels so genuine each time and not forced like with Rincewind. That’s important for a series of book built on humor, even if elements of the sardonic are involved.
The inclusion of Nanny Og and Magrat help offset Granny Weatherwax as an irascible old woman. Nanny Og is an old nympho and Magrat is the sad sack meant to generate sympathy. Each has her strengths and weaknesses and they fit very well together as a unit. It provides a much wider variety of situations for Pratchett to work with and I think his writing will be the better for that.
People always ask where to start with Discworld. I used to give my favorite books as a starting place but this deliberate series re-read has made me realize that people need to start at the beginning and just work their way through the series as Pratchett wrote them. Sure, you will get some books you don’t enjoy as much, but you’ll also get the full Discworld experience and THAT is more important than your enjoyment of an individual book. Think of Discworld like Communism and Pratchett as Chairman Mao and you’ll get the idea 😉
Hail Comrades, may the New Order Enlighten you!
★★★★☆
From Wikipedia.org
Synopsis – click to open
Wyrd Sisters features three witches: Granny Weatherwax; Nanny Ogg, matriarch of a large tribe of Oggs and owner of the most evil cat in the world; and Magrat Garlick, the junior witch, who firmly believes in occult jewelry, covens, and bubbling cauldrons, much to the annoyance of the other two.
King Verence I of Lancre is murdered by his cousin, Duke Felmet, after his ambitious wife persuades him to do so. The King’s crown and child are given by an escaping servant to the three witches. The witches hand the child to a troupe of travelling actors, and hide the crown in the props-box. They acknowledge that destiny will eventually take its course and that the child, Tomjon, will grow up to defeat Duke Felmet and take his rightful place as king.
However, the kingdom is angry about the way the new King is mistreating the land and his subjects. The witches realise that it will be at least 15 years until Tomjon is able to return and save the kingdom, but by then irreparable damage will have been done. Granny Weatherwax, with help from the other two witches, manages to cast a spell over the entire kingdom to send it forward in time by 15 years. Meanwhile, the duke has decided to have a play written and performed that portrays him in a favourable light and the witches in a negative light. He thinks this will cause the witches to lose their power, and the people will like him. He sends the court Fool to Ankh-Morpork to recruit the same acting company that Tomjon was given to, which now resides in the Dysk Theatre on the river Ankh.
The company make their way to Lancre, and perform the play for the King as asked. However, Hwel, the playwright, maintains that there is something wrong with the plot of the play, something that just doesn’t feel right. The witches cast a spell in the middle of the play that causes the actors to portray the killing of the king truthfully, and the audience sees that the Duke and Duchess are guilty of killing Verence I. Felmet finally succumbs to insanity and stabs several people with a retracting stage dagger, before tripping and falling to his death in the Lancre Gorge. The Duchess is imprisoned but manages to escape, only to be killed by a collection of various forest animals who want revenge for the poor treatment of the land.
Granny Weatherwax explains that Tomjon is the rightful king, and he is due to be crowned. However, Tomjon does not want to be king; he is an extremely talented actor and wishes to continue his career with his adopted father, Vitoller. Instead Granny Weatherwax tells the town that the Fool is in fact the king’s son from another mother, and Tomjon’s half-brother, and he is crowned King Verence II of Lancre. Later on, Granny and Nanny reveal to Magrat that the previous fool is actually Tomjon’s and Verence II’s father. The status of Magrat and Verence II, who have been awkwardly courting throughout the story, is not fully explained at the conclusion.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: The Hell-Hound of the Baskervilles Series: Warlock Holmes #2 Author: Gabriel Denning Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Parody Pages: 251 Words: 91K
In the previous book, A Study in Brimstone, the book ends with Moriarty having possessed Holmes’ body and about to send a fireball at Watson to kill him. This book starts after that point.
Watson knew something was off with Holmes, so he poisoned his tea, shot him in the chest 4 or 6 times and then kicked the fireball back into his face, thus effectively killing Holmes’ body and hopefully displacing Moriarty. Now Watson, not sure that Holmes is actually dead, has to keep the corpse a secret while filling the place with fresh flowers every day to hide the smell of rotting corpse.
Thankfully, a case comes along that Watson can solve on his own AND has the side effect of bringing Holmes fully back to life, just not of restoring his body though. So for the whole book Holmes is in a state of corpsicle’ness that is very slowly healing. Great stuff!
Once again, familiarity with the Sherlock Holmes canon of stories will make for a fuller, richer and more enjoyable read, mainly because you’ll get just how the author is japing at the originals. Making fun of something is much more satisfying if you know WHAT is being made fun of after all.
The humor is once again right up my alley. In the second story, “Silver Blaze: Murder Horse”, Holmes is trying to get addicted to gambling so he’ll have another connection to the common man. Of course, the horse he bets on goes missing and he has to solve the case or else he can’t get addicted to gambling. In the process, he magically teraports in several dead horse corpses to the flat. I was laughing my head off and my stomach hurt. It was fantastic!
The first four stories were short stories and just like the real canon, The Hell-Hound of the Baskervilles is a novella, so it takes up the majority of the book. We find out a lot about Warlock Holmes’ origins and I must admit, the humor just wasn’t there. It was a very grim story and while Denning did try to lighten things up (Foofy the Hell-hound anyone?), there just wasn’t that bust a gut laughing experience I was hoping for. And the ending is yet another “Oh no, what have I done?” kind of thing as Watson realizes that maybe Moriarty isn’t actually gone.
I really enjoyed this and tore through it in two evenings. If rotting corpses and horse corpsicles don’t make you laugh though, you might want to avoid this series.
★★★★✬
From the Publisher & Table of Contents
Click to Open
The adventure of the blackened beryls
Silver Blaze: murder horse
The reigateway to another world
The adventure of the solitary tricyclist
The hell-hound of the Baskervilles
The game’s afoot once more as Holmes and Watson face off against Moriarty’s gang, the Pinkertons, flesh-eating horses, a parliament of imps, boredom, Surrey, a disappointing butler demon, a succubus, a wicked lord, an overly-Canadian lord, a tricycle-fight to the death and the dreaded Pumpcrow. Oh, and a hell hound, one assumes.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Sourcery Series: Discworld #5 Author: Terry Pratchett Rating: 3 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Pages: 197 Words: 79K
Unfortunately, this is what most people think of in terms of humor when they think of Rincewind the Wizzard. This was slightly amusing but not really funny and almost kind of sad. I didn’t dislike this story, but I really didn’t enjoy myself like I have with some of the previous Discworld books. It was like Pratchett had an off week and churned this clunker out during that time.
If I was just a teeny bit lazier, I’d end this review and not hide the synopis and call it a day. But I’m not quite that lazy, yet. I’m getting there though.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a food comparison for a book, but I think I have the perfect example for this book.
The Setting:
The Wilds of the Freest State in the United States of America
The Characters:
Two manly men who have worked hard all day doing Big Important Survey Things that you wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to you.
The Story:
After a hard day’s work where thousands of calories were burned doing Very Important Survey Things, McStudley and MacManly were driving back to the office. They were starving. In fact, if they had been soccer players, chances are one of them would have doused the other in bbq sauce and devoured him on the spot. Thankfully, for our story, they drove by a Wendy’s fast food restaurant. MacManly decided to get a Biggie Bag, because it had the word “Big” in it and his hunger sure was big that day. It was advertised as a double cheeseburger with bacon, fries, chicken nuggets and a drink. The chicken nuggets weren’t crispy at all. The fries were lukewarm at best. The icemachine wasn’t working so his diet vanilla coke was room temperature. The bacon was limp, the burgers overcooked, the lettuce was wilted and the bun looked like a sad clown. All in all it was a pathetic excuse for a “meal”. But MacManly still devoured it because he was starving.
The Lesson:
The ingredients can all be there but if they are not prepared right, it doesn’t matter because I was starving and I would have read a cereal box. Ok, so I mixed up my metaphors there, sue me. But you get the idea.
Faaaaaaaake!
★★★☆☆
From Wikipedia.org
Synopsis – click to open
Death comes to collect the soul of Ipslore the Red, a wizard who was banished from Unseen University for marrying and having children. Bitter over his exile and the death of his wife, Ipslore vows revenge upon the wizards through his eighth son, Coin. As the eighth son of a wizard who himself is an eighth son, Coin is born a sourcerer, a wizard who generates new magic rather than drawing it from the world, effectively making him the most powerful wizard on the Disc. At the moment of his death, Ipslore transfers his spirit into his wizard’s staff, which is passed to Coin, preventing Death from collecting Ipslore’s soul (since damaging the staff to do so would kill Coin) and allowing Ipslore to influence his son.
Eight years later, Virrid Wayzygoose, the Archchancellor-designate of Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork, is murdered before his induction by Coin, who then forces his way into the university’s Great Hall. After Coin bests one of the top wizards in the University, he is welcomed by the majority of the wizards. Rincewind, The Luggage and the Librarian miss Coin’s arrival, having fled the University shortly beforehand after the foreboding departure of all of its magically-influenced pest populations. While they are at the Mended Drum, Conina, a professional thief and a daughter of Discworld legend Cohen the Barbarian, arrives holding a box containing the Archchancellor’s hat, which she has procured from the room of Wayzygoose, and which possesses a kind of sentience as a result of being worn by hundreds of Archchancellors. Under the direction of the hat, which sees Coin as a threat to wizardry and the very world, Conina forces Rincewind to come with her and take a boat to the city of Al Khali, where the hat claims there is someone fit to wear it.
In Ankh-Morpork, the wizards are made more powerful due to Coin’s presence drawing more magic into the Discworld. Under Coin’s direction, the wizards take over Ankh-Morpork—transforming it into a pristine city and turning the Patrician, Lord Vetinari, into a newt—and make plans to take over the world. Elsewhere, Rincewind, Conina and the Luggage end up in the company of Creosote, the seriph of Al Khali, and Abrim, his treacherous vizier. The trio are eventually separated; Rincewind is thrown into the snake pit, where he meets Nijel the Destroyer, a barbarian hero in training. Conina is taken to Creosote’s harem, where the Seriph has his concubines tell him stories. The Luggage, having been scorned by Conina, runs away and gets drunk, before killing and eating several creatures in the desert.
Coin eventually declares Unseen University and the various wizarding orders obsolete and orders the Library to be burnt down, claiming that Wizardry no longer requires such things. A group of wizards then attack Al Khali, with the sheer amount of magic created by their arrival temporarily putting Rincewind into a trance and enabling him to use magic, allowing him and Nijel to escape the snake pit. They join up with Creosote and Conina, the latter immediately falling in love with Nijel, and they encounter Abrim, who had put on the Archchancellor’s hat hoping to gain power from it, only to be possessed instead. Having the experience of many previous Archchancellors, the hat proves an even match for Sourcery-empowered wizards, fighting off a group of them and enlisting others to its cause. As this takes place, Rincewind, Conina, Nijel and Creosote find a magical flying carpet in the palace’s treasury, and use it to escape the palace as it gets destroyed by the possessed Abrim building his own tower.
With the orders no longer around to keep the wizards in check, wizards across the Discworld go to war with one another, threatening to destroy the world completely. Upon hearing Creosote express anti-wizard sentiments, an angry and humiliated Rincewind abandons the group, taking the flying carpet and making his way to the University, where he learns that the Librarian has saved the library books by hiding them in the ancient Tower of Art. The Librarian convinces Rincewind to stop Coin, and he goes off to face the Sourcerer with a sock containing a half-brick. Back in Al Khali, the Luggage, blaming the Archchancellor’s hat for everything it has endured, forces its way into Abrim’s tower. Distracted by the Luggage, the possessed vizier is killed by the Ankh-Morpork wizards, with the tower and the Archchancellor’s hat getting destroyed in the process.
Despite his victory, Coin becomes concerned when he is told that wizards rule under the Discworld Gods. He traps the gods in an alternate reality, which shrinks to become a large pearl, unknowingly causing the Ice Giants, a race of beings who had been imprisoned by the gods, to escape their prison, whereupon they begin strolling across the Discworld, freezing everything in their path. Rincewind confronts Coin soon after this. The Sourcerer is amused, but unthreatened, by Rincewind attempting to fight him, prompting Ipslore to try to force Coin to kill him. Rincewind eventually convinces Coin to throw the staff away, but Ipslore’s power is channelled against that of his son. The other wizards leave the tower as Rincewind rushes forward, grabbing the child and sending both of them to the Dungeon Dimensions while Death strikes the staff and takes Ipslore’s soul. Rincewind orders Coin to return to the University and, using his other sock filled with sand, attacks the Creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions as a distraction to ensure Coin’s escape. The Gods are subsequently set free, stopping the march of the Ice Giants. As the Librarian helps Coin escape, the Luggage charges into the Dungeon Dimensions after Rincewind.
Coin returns the University and Ankh-Morpork to the way they were before he came. After Conina and Nijel travel to the University looking for Rincewind, Coin uses his magic to make them forget him and live happily ever after together. Recognising that he is too powerful to remain in the world, Coin steps into a dimension of his own making and is not seen on the Discworld again. The Librarian takes Rincewind’s battered hat, which was left behind when he went into the Dungeon Dimensions, and places it on a pedestal in the Library. The narrator states, “A wizard…will always come back for his hat”.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: A Study in Brimstone Series: Warlock Holmes #1 Author: Gabriel Denning Rating: 5 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Parody Pages: 229 Words: 83K
If you know your Holmes stories, most of these parodies won’t catch you totally by surprise. That’s a good thing though, because it is the similarities that keep this book grounded and from becoming stupid. The basic premise is that Warlock Holmes is a warlock of incredible power who fights the supernatural, but he’s not very bright and he’s not good with people in general. Enter Watson, a deductive genius with the ability to analyze things from a completely normal perspective. Who needs a cheap place to stay so he won’t get thrown out into the gutter. And voila, a partnership made in Hades. Throw in that Lestrade is a vampire and some other detective is a werewolf and you have yourself a recipe for fun
I laughed my head off for the entire book. I was laughing out loud and sharing bits and pieces with Mrs B until she finally said “Yep, that’s your kind of humor” and I knew enough to let it be and just enjoy it for myself. But my goodness, this was dark humor and so delicious. It was like eating an icecream sunday. For example. The Crew (Watson, Holmes and the other two detectives) find some mysterious pills that Watson suspects are poison. Holmes kidnaps the neighbor’s puppy and uses it to test the poison. He tells Watson to relax, because the puppy’s lifeline is going to end that week no matter what. The puppy takes the non-poison pill and is romping joyfully around the room. All four of our characters leave and the last sentence is something like “and the werewolf accidentally trod on the puppy”. I went off into howls of laughter. There were several such incidents that just set me off and by the books end my sides were hurting from laughing so much. I don’t know if this humor would be to everyone’s taste but it was almost like I had decided to write a book and use all the things I would find funny.
I also am aware that the final book ends in a cliffhanger’y way and that it will probably never be resolved. I have made my peace with that and will simply enjoy this for what I can get out of it. Speaking of cliffhanger’y, the ending of this book definitely falls into that camp. Not terribly, not in a way that made me want to immediately read the next book, but basically Moriarty takes over Holmes’ body and that’s how it ends. If this had been a standalone book, I’d still be ok with that ending because the humor was absolutely pitch perfect.
I have also given this the coveted “Best Book of the Year” tag. Doesn’t mean that it IS the best book, as we still have half a year to go, but my goodness, I simply have not laughed out loud so often in a very long time and that by itself deserves a lot of praise.
★★★★★
From the Publisher
Synopsis – Click to Open
Sherlock Holmes is an unparalleled genius. Warlock Holmes is an idiot. A font of arcane power, certainly. But he’s brilliantly dim. Frankly, he couldn’t deduce his way out of a paper bag. The only thing he has really got going for him are the might of a thousand demons and his stalwart companion. Thankfully, Dr. Watson is always there to aid him through the treacherous shoals of Victorian propriety… and save him from a gruesome death every now and again.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: The Restaurant at the End of the Galaxy Series: THGttG #2 Author: Douglas Adams Rating: 3 of 5 Stars Genre: SF Pages: 196 Words: 53K
This is why I don’t usually read “Introductions” to the books I read. Some jackass, who nobody has heard of before, has to write about his impressions of a book/series/author, much like a blogger in fact. And all they do is totally screw up your expectations of the story because of their determination to put their own spin on it
This series is a pointless, silly, humorous and totally empty little series. It means nothing and in another decade or so, will totally be forgotten. And I would read it that way and let it go it’s merry little way, tra-la-la’ing into oblivion without a care in the world.
EXCEPT
I read the introduction and the stupid dumbkopf talks about how meaningful this book is/was to him and a whole generation and how it changed the blah blah, blahhhhh, blah. You get the idea. So now when I am reading this, I have this idea kicking around in the back of my mind that this book changed peoples’ lives and I’m forced to take it seriously. Anyone who read this book and series, and it changed their lives, is so stupendously stupid and shallow that that change would be comparable to me dipping my pinky finger in the Atlantic Ocean and claiming that I had changed the ocean.
This is silly nonsense! Pure and simple. Hopefully after this book, I can treat it as such.
Acting on a thought from the portion of his brain unaffected by his lobotomy, Zaphod goes looking for Zarniwoop, the Guide’s lead editor, though his staff insist he has been out on an intergalactic cruise. A man named Roosta takes Zaphod to Zarniwoop’s offices. Frogstar fighters arrive and attack the building, towing it to one of their home planets, Frogstar World B, a planet whose society collapsed through an economic process called the “Shoe Event Horizon” which rendered its economy unable to support any enterprises besides shoe stores. The planet eventually became the site of the Total Perspective Vortex, a device that drives those who experience it mad due to showing them their insignificance compared to the infinite universe. Following Roosta’s instructions and escaping through Zarniwoop’s office’s windows, Zaphod is caught by Gargravarr, a disembodied mind undergoing a trial separation from his body, who takes Zaphod to be exposed to the Vortex. However, Zaphod is unfazed by the Vortex, suggesting to a perplexed Gargravarr that it showed Zaphod that he was the most important being in the universe.
Left on his own, Zaphod eventually finds a long-abandoned spaceliner whose passengers have been forcibly kept in 900 years of suspended animation by the autopilot after the collapse of their civilization until a new one could develop to load the ship with lemon-scented paper napkins. On the ship he discovers Zarniwoop, who reveals that Zaphod stepped into a computer simulation of the universe when he walked into his office, allowing Zaphod to survive the Vortex since the universe was designed for his benefit. Zarniwoop further reveals that the Heart of Gold had been microscopically shrunk and placed in Zaphod’s pocket so that they can use it to find the true ruler of the universe, whom Zarniwoop has located. However, Zaphod abandons Zarniwoop, reunites with Ford, Arthur, and Trillian, and escapes to the nearest restaurant. This turns out to be the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, built atop the ruins of Frogstar World B and existing in a time bubble near the end of the universe, which it offers its guests spectacular views of. At the restaurant they meet Ford’s old acquaintance Hotblack Desiato, a member of the rock band Disaster Area, which is known for making the loudest sound in the universe and only perform their concerts remotely from an orbiting spaceship. During their dinner, Zaphod receives a telephone call from Marvin, who has been stranded on the planet for billions of years and is now working as a valet in the restaurant’s parking lot.
Zaphod suggests they leave, trying to steal a sleek, all-black spacecraft next to Hotblack Desiato’s limoship. With their ship on complete autopilot and unable to wrest the controls away from it, an agitated Zaphod admits that he still wants to solve the Question to the Ultimate Answer. Marvin abruptly tells them that the question is imprinted in Arthur’s brainwaves, but they are distracted before they can ask further. They learn that the ship is actually an uncrewed stunt ship for Disaster Area, which is programmed to fall into a local sun to create solar flares in synchronization with the climax of the band’s concert. They discover a partially installed emergency teleporter without a guidance system and Zaphod volunteers Marvin to stay behind and operate it so the others can escape. Zaphod and Trillian find themselves back aboard the Heart of Gold under Zarniwoop’s control, where he is using the ship’s Improbability Drive to penetrate the Unprobability Field that is protecting the home planet of the Ruler of the Universe. On an unpopulated planet, they find the Ruler who has no idea he is the ruler, is not convinced of a broader universe outside of his home, and is even skeptical if anything around him exists. While an enraged Zarniwoop tries to reason with the Ruler, Zaphod and Trillian strand him and make their escape in the Heart of Gold.
Meanwhile, Arthur and Ford find themselves aboard Ark Fleet Ship B, which is loaded with 15 million passengers from the planet Golgafrincham and is commanded by an inept captain who is only concerned with taking baths. Although the Golgafrinchans were ostensibly evacuated to escape a planetary disaster, in actuality the disaster was made up by the Golgafrinchans to divest themselves of a useless third of their population, later going extinct from a pandemic caused by dirty telephone receivers after they expelled all telephone sanitizers. The Ark crash-lands into a swamp on an undeveloped planet. Arthur and Ford leave to search for a signal from any passing spaceship, traveling for hundreds of miles around the continent. Along the way the planet’s primitive yet friendly hominid-like inhabitants usher them away from their home settlements and leave them fruit. After finding a glacier with a Magrathean inscription honoring Slartibartfast, they realize they are on pre-historic Earth in 2,000,000 BC, that the hominids are Neanderthals, that they have traveled across Europe from the future site of Arthur’s home city of Islington in Great Britain to Norway, and that the Golgafrinchans are the ancestors of the modern human race.
They return to the Golgafrinchans, only to find that they have been too preoccupied with trying to form council meetings about documentary-making, fiscal policy, searching for hot springs for the captain’s baths, and declaring war on uninhabited continents to bother with trying to discover fire, invent the wheel, or solve pressing issues. Ford tries to warn them that they will be annihilated in 2 million years, but they ignore him. Desperate, Arthur tries to teach the Neanderthals, who have been mysteriously wasting away since the Ark’s arrival, through a makeshift Scrabble set. When one of the Neanderthals spells out the word “forty-two” with the letter tiles, Ford realizes that the Neanderthals were part of the matrix of Deep Thought’s computer to determine the Ultimate Question and that the Golgafrinchans are interfering with the machination by displacing them. However, they also remember Marvin’s claim that the Ultimate Question was embedded in Arthur’s mind. Hoping that remnants of the programming exist in Arthur’s subconscious, they have Arthur pull out tiles at random from the Scrabble set, only to discover that the Question is “What do you get if you multiply six by nine?” Ford thinks this explains why the universe is a giant “cock-up”, and the two resign to make the best of their life on prehistoric Earth. They go on a date with two Golgafrinchan women, and Arthur throws his copy of the Hitchhiker’s Guide in the river.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: A Phule and His Money Series: Phule’s Company #3 Author: Robert Asprin & Peter Heck Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars Genre: SF Pages: 343 Words: 90K
This is where I don’t follow my own advice. This was a very mediocre book. Not bad, but 100% mediocre. If I saw someone else read this book and say the things I will say, I would recommend, very strongly to them, that they abandon the series and let it go. My problem, at least as I tell myself, is that I don’t actually have that many “new to me” series or authors to replace it. Most of what I am reading is stuff in a longer running series (Discworld, Nero Wolfe, 87th Precinct, The Shadow, etc) and it takes more time and effort on my part to search out a new series or author than it does to simply slog through the oatmeal books.
Peter Heck joined the authorial crew here but to be honest, I never would have known it. I suspect Asprin gave him a rough outline and Heck did all the heavy writing in Asprin’s style and they called it a day. I was down for the count when I read this (really bad cold again, put me out of work for a day with all the coughing) but even still, there was no energy to the story or characters. It was boring.
If any of you can suggest some stuff to me that is pre-2000 and that I haven’t already read and sounds semi-interesting to me, I’ll gladly dump this and try that.
★★✬☆☆
From the Publisher
Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule’s Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into…a crack team of casino security guards.
Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise—goofing off—than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Series: THGttG #1 Author: Douglas Adams Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars Genre: SF Pages: 184 Words: 50K
I first read these in the late 90’s and laughed my head off. I can still remember how my stomach and sides hurt from laughing so much. It was gloriously ridiculous and in the midst of all the stresses of going through Bibleschool (and all of the attendant growing up I had to do), it was exactly what I needed. When I read the series again in ‘09, I had just gotten married, life was good (but hard due to the recession of ‘08 being in full swing) and I didn’t need any silliness in my life. Hence my “feelingometer” swung over to the “This is Stupid” side of things and I was not impressed at all. Quite the change. Which brings us to the present.
I am now fully mature, wise, sagacious, totally even keeled emotionally and generally in control of every aspect of my life. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA! ~wipes tears from eyes~ Ahhh, good one Bookstooge, good one.
I definitely enjoyed this more than my time in ‘09 and yet at the same time, I found this very disturbing.
Most of that is due to Adam’s philosophy of Hedonistic Nihilism. It boils down to taking as much pleasure from your existence because you’re going to die and then that’s that. It is a horrible, horrible way to go through life and while Adams covers things up with lots of humor and silliness, that dark thought is there through the whole book. As a Christian, what Adams assumes is completely antithetical to my entire world view. After thinking about it for a bit, I realized it wasn’t so much that the inclusion of such a philosophy bothered me, but that Adams seemed to truly enjoy rubbing the readers’ faces into it. Time after time he has a character expound on just how insignificant and pointless life is. That kind of thinking is how you break someone down psychologically. It is, simply put, evil. With Resurrection Sunday just past, it’s very apropos to speak the truth to the lie of what Adams spouts here: Humans, as individuals, have value and are valuable because they are created in the image of God and Jesus Himself died and then rose from the dead for each person in existence. If God Himself thinks we are valuable enough to make that kind of sacrifice for, well, you won’t hear me deny it or claim otherwise.
Storywise, this is just plain bonkers. Things happen. Quickly. Outrageously. Continuously. Arthur, the main character, goes from finding out his house is going to be bulldozed for a bypass to having the Earth blownup, to getting thrown out an airlock by aliens, to meeting the two-headed President of the Universe to finding out that two mice want his brain for Scyenze. And it all ends with everyone going for a bite to eat at a restaurant. Crazy man, just plain craaaaaaazy.
If you want a short, madcap adventure, this is the series for you. Chaos and silliness abound on every page.
★★★✬☆
From Wikipedia
Synopsis – Click to Open
The novel opens with an introduction describing the human race as a primitive and deeply unhappy species, while also introducing an electronic encyclopedia called the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy which provides information on every planet in the galaxy. Earthman and Englishman Arthur Dent awakens in his home in the West Country to discover that the local planning council is trying to demolish his house to build a bypass, and lies down in front of the bulldozer to stop it. His friend Ford Prefect convinces the lead bureaucrat to lie down in Arthur’s stead so that he can take Arthur to the local pub. The construction crew begin demolishing the house anyway, but are interrupted by the sudden arrival of a fleet of spaceships. The Vogons, the callous race of civil servants running the fleet, announce that they have come to demolish Earth to make way for a hyperspace expressway, and promptly destroy the planet. Ford and Arthur survive by hitching a ride on the spaceship, much to Arthur’s amazement. Ford reveals to Arthur he is an alien researcher for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, from a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse who has been posing as an out-of-work actor from Guildford for 15 years, and this was why they were able to hitch a ride on the alien ship. They are quickly discovered by the Vogons, who torture them by forcing them to listen to their poetry and then toss them out of an airlock.
Meanwhile Zaphod Beeblebrox, Ford’s “semi-cousin” and the President of the Galaxy, steals the spaceship Heart of Gold at its unveiling with his human companion, Trillian. The Heart of Gold is equipped with an “Infinite Improbability Drive” that allows it to travel instantaneously to any point in space by simultaneously passing through every point in the universe at once. However, the Infinite Improbability Drive has a side effect of causing impossible coincidences to occur in the physical universe. One of these improbable events occurs when Arthur and Ford are rescued by the Heart of Gold as it travels using the Infinite Improbability Drive. Zaphod takes his passengers — Arthur, Ford, a depressed robot named Marvin, and Trillian — to a legendary planet named Magrathea. Its inhabitants were said to have specialized in custom-building planets for others and to have vanished after becoming so rich that the rest of the galaxy became poor. Although Ford initially doubts that the planet is Magrathea, the planet’s computers send them warning messages to leave before firing two nuclear missiles at the Heart of Gold. Arthur inadvertently saves them by activating the Infinite Improbability Drive improperly, which also opens an underground passage. As the ship lands, Trillian’s pet mice Frankie and Benjy escape.
On Magrathea, Zaphod, Ford, and Trillian venture down to the planet’s interior while leaving Arthur and Marvin outside. In the tunnels, Zaphod reveals that his actions are not a result of his own decisions, but instead motivated by neural programming that he was seemingly involved in but has no memory of. As Zaphod explains how he discovered this, the trio are trapped and knocked out with sleeping gas. On the surface, Arthur is met by a resident of Magrathea, a man named Slartibartfast, who explains that the Magratheans have been in stasis to wait out an economic recession. They have temporarily reawakened to reconstruct a second version of Earth commissioned by mice, who were in fact the most intelligent species on Earth. Slartibartfast brings Arthur to Magrathea’s planet construction facility, and shows Arthur that in the distant past, a race of “hyperintelligent, pan-dimensional beings” created a supercomputer named Deep Thought to determine the answer to the “Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything.” Deep Thought eventually found the answer to be 42, an answer that made no sense because the Ultimate Question itself was not known. Because determining the Ultimate Question was too difficult even for Deep Thought, an even more advanced supercomputer was constructed for this purpose. This computer was the planet Earth, which was constructed by the Magratheans, and was five minutes away from finishing its task and figuring out the Ultimate Question when the Vogons destroyed it. The hyperintelligent superbeings participated in the program as mice, performing experiments on humans while pretending to be experimented on.
Slartibartfast takes Arthur to see his friends, who are at a feast hosted by Trillian’s pet mice. The mice reject as unnecessary the idea of building a new Earth to start the process over, deciding that Arthur’s brain likely contains the Ultimate Question. They offer to buy Arthur’s brain, leading to a fight when he declines. The group manages to escape when the planet’s security system goes off unexpectedly, but immediately run into the culprits: police in pursuit of Zaphod. The police corner Zaphod, Arthur, Ford and Trillian, and the situation seems desperate as they are trapped behind a computer bank that is about to explode from the officers’ weapons firing. However, the police officers suddenly die when their life-support systems short-circuit. Suspicious, Ford discovers on the surface that Marvin became bored and explained his view of the universe to the police officers’ spaceship, causing it to commit suicide. The five leave Magrathea and decide to go to The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Phule’s Paradise Series: Phule’s Company #2 Author: Robert Asprin Rating: 3 of 5 Stars Genre: SF Pages: 205 Words: 80K
Unfortunately, this felt exactly like the Myth Adventure series. In that Asprin has a great idea for a first book and then completely hits a brick wall in terms of imagination for the rest of the series. The humor and originality was gone. Phule is run ragged and exhausted and that’s how the writing and story felt too.
It was ok to pass some time but it wasn’t anywhere near as interesting or engaging as the first book. Which is too bad because that was a lot of fun and I thought the idea had lots of potential. Oh well, should have known Asprin had hit his limits with the first book. Man, am I in a grouchy mood this week. I’m really giving all these books a hard time. Whatever, if they can’t handle it, they shouldn’t have been written in the first place…
★★★☆☆
From Wikipedia.org
The book begins when Phule and his “Omega Mob” receive orders to report to the space station Lorelei, a resort space station home of many casinos. The “Omega Mob” is contracted to defend the Fat Chance Casino from take over by organized crime. Phule splits 50 of the troops from the company, giving them permission to operate under cover in order to gain intelligence on the crime syndicate. He supplements the lost legionnaires with actors and trains the whole unit, actors and legionnaires, in casino security. Upon their arrival they learn that the crime boss, Maxine, has partial ownership in the casino and plans to bankrupt the casino in order to gain a controlling interest. With this intelligence, Phule is able to thwart all of the schemes developed by Maxine thanks to his prior knowledge.
In retaliation, Maxine’s thugs attack two of the actors. However, upon noticing the thug’s leader’s possession of the company’s distinctive wrist communicators, Chocolate Harry, the company’s supply sergeant, retrieves the communicators and beats up the leader. Frustrated with all the failed actions, Maxine resorts to her backup plan: kidnap Phule and ransom him. The resourceful Omega Mob foils the kidnapping, rescuing Phule and forcing Maxine to hand over her share of the casino to the company.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Mort Series: Discworld #4 Author: Terry Pratchett Rating: 4 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Pages: 265 Words: 73K
This was my 3rd time reading this. And I once again bumped it up half a star. So another 8 years and I suspect I’ll be bumping it up again, hahahahaa 🙂
In this, we are introduced to yet another sub-series (or set of characters) in the Discworld. This time it is Death. Death takes on an apprentice who royally messes things up and in the end Death fixes it all.
Death is a jolly good fellow. Definitely shows what Pratchett’s thoughts on THAT matter were (if his suicide wasn’t enough to convince you). It works for a light and fluffy fantasy series. Which is all this is. Except it isn’t. Does that make sense? Pratchett is not trying to have his cake and eat it too with the Discworld series, he IS having his eat and eating it. He gets to tell funny stories AND he gets to spout off his own personal philosophies. It doesn’t get much better than that for an author.
Thankfully, as a reader, I too can pick and choose whether I want to read this lightly or seriously. If I had been in grumpy mood I would have read this seriously and taken Pratchett’s points about death apart one by one, showing that his ideas were nothing but an illogical mishmash of every other religions’ ideas on death and how he contradicted himself at every turn. But I was in a good mood so I just ignored all that and enjoyed Mort making a complete hash out of being Death’s apprentice.
Hash can be good, especially with beets. That’s called Red Flannel Hash here in New England. A can of corned beef hash, a can of purple beets, a frying pan and voila, a delicious meal that is healthy because obviously the beets are vegetables and so that outweighs all the fat from the corn beef hash.
In ending, you should read this book if for no other reason than I said so and that it will be the literary equivalent of adding some beets to your corn beef hash reading diet.
★★★★☆
From Wikipedia.org
Synopsis – Click to Open
As a teenager, Mort has a personality and temperament that makes him unsuited to the family farming business. Mort’s father Lezek takes him to a local hiring fair in the hope that Mort will land an apprenticeship; not only would this provide a job for his son, but it would also make his son’s propensity for thinking someone else’s problem. Just before the last stroke of midnight, Death arrives and takes Mort on as an apprentice (though his father thinks he has been apprenticed to an undertaker). Death takes Mort to his domain, where he meets Death’s elderly manservant Albert, and his adopted daughter Ysabell. Mort later accompanies Death as he travels to collect the soul of the King of Sto Lat, who is due to be assassinated by the scheming Duke of Sto Helit. After Mort unsuccessfully tries to prevent the assassination, Death warns him that all deaths are predetermined, and that he cannot interfere with fate.
Later on, Death assigns Mort to collect the soul of Princess Keli, daughter of the murdered king, but he instead kills the assassin the Duke had sent after her. Keli lives, but shortly after the assassin’s death people begin acting as if something had happened without knowing why, namely what would be funeral preparations and acts of mourning. She soon finds that the rest of the world no longer acknowledges her existence at all unless she confronts them and even then only in a confused manner which is forgotten immediately after. She subsequently employs the wizard Igneous Cutwell, who is able to see her as he is trained to see things that are invisible to normal people (like death) to make her existence clear to the public. Mort eventually discovers that his actions have created an alternate reality in which Keli lives, but he also learns that it is being overridden by the original reality and will eventually cease to exist, killing Keli. While consulting Cutwell, Mort sees a picture of Unseen University’s founder, Alberto Malich, noting that he bears a resemblance to Albert.
Mort and Ysabell travel into the Stack, a library in Death’s domain that holds the biographies of everyone who has ever lived, in order to investigate Albert, eventually discovering that he is indeed Malich. They further learn that Malich had feared monsters waiting for him in the afterlife, and performed a reversed version of the Rite of AshkEnte in the hope of keeping Death away from him. However, the spell backfired and sent him to Death’s side, where he has remained in order to put off his demise. During this time, Death, yearning to relish what being human is like, travels to Ankh-Morpork to indulge in new experiences, including getting drunk, dancing, gambling and finding a job. Mort in turn starts to become more like Death, adopting his mannerisms and aspects of his personality, while his own is slowly overridden.
Death’s absence forces Mort to collect the next two souls, who are both located on separate parts of the Disc (in the Agatean Empire and Tsort, respectively), and due to die on the same night that the alternate reality will be destroyed. Before he and Ysabell leave to collect the souls, Mort uses the part of Death within him to force Albert to provide a spell that will slow down the alternate reality’s destruction. After Mort and Ysabell leave, Albert returns to Unseen University, under the identity of Malich. His eagerness to live on the Disc is reinvigorated during this time, and he has the wizards perform the Rite of AshkEnte in the hope of finally escaping Death’s grasp. The ritual summons both Death and the part of Death that had been taking Mort over, restoring him to normal. Unaware of Albert’s treachery, Death takes him back into his service, the Librarian preventing the wizard’s escape.
Mort and Ysabell travel to Keli’s palace, where the princess and Cutwell have organised a hasty coronation ceremony in the hope that Keli can be crowned queen before the alternate reality is destroyed. With the reality now too small for Albert’s spell, Mort and Ysabell save Keli and Cutwell from being destroyed with the alternate reality. They return to Death’s domain to find a furious Death waiting for them, the latter having learned of Mort’s actions from Albert. Death dismisses Mort and attempts to take the souls of Keli and Cutwell, but Mort challenges him to a duel for them. Though Death eventually wins the duel, he spares Mort’s life and sends him back to the Disc.
Death convinces the gods to change the original reality so that Keli rules in place of the Duke, who was inadvertently killed during Death and Mort’s duel due to the destruction of his lifetimer. Mort and Ysabell – who have fallen in love over the course of the story – get married, and are made Duke and Duchess of Sto Helit by Keli, while Cutwell is made the Master of the Queen’s Bedchamber. Death attends Mort and Ysabell’s wedding reception, where he warns Mort that he will have to make sure that the original Duke’s destiny is fulfilled, and presents him with the alternate reality he created, now shrunk to the size of a large pearl, before the two part on amicable terms.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Phule’s Company Series: Phule’s Company #1 Author: Robert Asprin Rating: 4 of 5 Stars Genre: SF Pages: 182 Words: 77K
My main knowledge about Asprin’s writing is through his “Myth Adventures” series and his “Thieves World” anthologies. The Myth books were boooooring with a few exceptions and the Thieves World books tended to be vulgar and of dnf moral quality. So you can imagine just how dubious I was at giving him yet another chance.
But something about the idea of a misfit millionaire in the military turning other misfits into a semi-reasonable outfit just appealed to me. I like a good underdog story and while Phule isn’t the underdog, everybody else in the story sure is. But even Phule knows that money can only go so far and in some cases can hurt more than help. I found Asprin’s philosophy surprisingly thought out even while disagreeing with Phule’s underlying thought that people are basically good.
This was fun, pure and simple. I had a blast reading this and found this to be the most enjoyable Asprin I’ve read to date (even better than Myth Inc in Action, the best Myth book in my opinion). However, given my past experience with Asprin I’m holding this series very lightly and am putting no expectations on the next book. But for the moment, this is a great book and I recommend it, even if I can’t comment on the series as a whole (yet).
★★★★☆
From Wikipedia.org
The book begins as Willard Phule, a multimillionaire, is court-martialed by the Space Legion for ordering the strafing of a treaty signing ceremony. For his punishment, he is given command of an Omega Company full of misfits on Haskin’s Planet, a mining settlement on the edge of settled space. He quickly goes to his duty station and leverages his personal money and a knack for managing people to get the company to come together as a unit. His antics attract the attention of the local and interplanetary press, but create a very cohesive unit of the Legionnaires.
When a contract for an honorary duty is awarded to the Regular Army on Haskin’s Planet, Phule convinces the governor to leave the contract up for competition between the Space Legionnaires and the Regular Army. The Army sends some of their most elite troops to take part in the competition, and through an impressive show of cooperation and teamwork, Phule’s company ties the regular troops. In the final episode of the book, Phule’s company encounters lizard-like alien explorers from the Zenobian Empire. Quickly reverting to his business instincts, Phule negotiates a business deal to sell swampland to the creatures in exchange for new technologies. This again enrages some of his superiors, but because of a show of support from the Legionnaires for their commander and a complete conviction of his own innocence, Phule evades court-martial again.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Equal Rites Series: Discworld #3 Author: Terry Pratchett Rating: 4 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Pages: 162 Words: 67K
When I first read this in 2007, I was fresh off the Rincewind books and was expecting more of the same. Equal Ritesis the first of the Witches sub-series and as such, while humorous, IS different and I wasn’t ready for that difference back then. Instead of the insane, zany and just plain ridiculous humor that typifies Rincewind, The Witches series is much more sardonic and relies on the humor inherent in opposites. All of that was just to say that I enjoyed my read this time much more than I did 16 years ago.
I also did this as a buddy-read with Dave. I’ll be linking to his review after the star rating and before the synopsis.
I enjoyed this on a completely different level from the previous two books. Granny Weatherwax (the main character despite this being about the little girl Esk) isn’t silly and stupid but she’s also not some omniscient Paragon of Everything. Pratchett is definitely poking fun at the genders (male and female) and Granny isn’t a bra burning feminazi. She’s crotchety, gets things mixed up, makes bad decisions but ultimately has the good of Esk in mind. She’s a wonderful character in fact. I loved reading about her. It is almost scary to me how 16 years of life experience can make that kind of change in me. I still like Rincewind and the complete chaos that he is, but I now appreciate Granny much more than I could have back then. That’s good. We should change as we mature and get older.
I have talked about this before (Why I Re-Read from ‘18) but that change in perspective is the EXACT reason why I am such a re-reader. What I experienced reading Equal Rites this time around I simply could not have back in ‘07. And if I had never re-read it now, I would be stuck with that ‘07 memory of it. Which isn’t bad, but it’s not as full and rich as my memories of the book now. As a serious reader, growing is important. A reader should be a tree, ever growing, not a karesansui garden (one of those japanese gravel gardens) which stays static unless an outside force acts upon it. A reader’s growth should be from within, affecting the outside, not the outside affecting the growth within. It is the difference between an oak tree and a bonsai tree. One acts upon the landscape while the other is acted upon.
So to end. I am VERY happy I re-read this. I enjoyed it more than I originally did and I am thankful I have a better memory of the book now.
The wizard Drum Billet knows that he will soon die and travels to a place where an eighth son of an eighth son is about to be born. This signifies that the child is destined to become a wizard; on the Discworld, the number eight has many of the magical properties that are sometimes ascribed to seven in other mythologies. Billet wants to pass his wizard’s staff on to his successor.
However, the newborn child is actually a girl, Esk (full name Eskarina Smith). Since Billet notices his mistake too late, the staff passes on to her. As Esk grows up, it becomes apparent that she has uncontrollable powers, and the local witch Granny Weatherwax decides to travel with her to Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork to help her gain the knowledge required to properly manage her powers.
But a female wizard is something completely unheard of on the Discworld. Esk is unsuccessful in her first, direct, attempt to gain entry to the University, but Granny Weatherwax finds another way in; as a servant. While there, Esk witnesses the progress of an apprentice wizard named Simon, whom she had met earlier, on her way to Ankh-Morpork. Simon is a natural talent who invents a whole new way of looking at the universe that reduces it to component numbers.
Simon’s magic causes a hole to be opened into the Dungeon Dimensions while he is in Esk’s presence. The staff, acting to protect Esk, strikes Simon on the head, closing the hole but trapping his mind in the Dungeon Dimensions. Esk throws the staff away, believing that it attacked Simon. While attempting to rescue him, Esk ends up in the Dungeon Dimensions. The extreme cold there causes the staff, now washed out to sea, to create a huge ice sheet, causing a storm that floods the university as well as the surrounding city.
Esk and Simon discover the weakness of the creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions—if you can use magic, but don’t, they become scared and weakened. With the help of Granny Weatherwax and Archchancellor Cutangle, who have retrieved the staff, they both manage to transport themselves back into the Discworld. Esk and Simon go on to develop a new kind of magic, based on the notion that the greatest power is the ability not to use all the others.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: The Light Fantastic Series: Discworld #2 Author: Terry Pratchett Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Pages: 118 Words: 46K
I really enjoyed this. Considering that this and The Colour of Magic are really one book split into two parts and that I gave my re-read of CoM the coveted 5star rating, it shouldn’t surprise anyone, myself included, that I enjoyed this so much.
However, there was one thing that made me bump this down a half star. There are some really wicked weird time skips. One chapter Rincewind will be in a forest with Two Flowers and the next thing Cohen the Barbarian is rescuing them from wizards. There was nothing in between. That kind of thing happened 2 or 3 times and it was very disconcerting. I actually had to check to make sure I didn’t have a bad ebook with bits missing, it was that jarring. But nope, this was the real deal. I guess Pratchett had to make some cuts because 118 pages was pushing things back in the 80’s (oh, I’d kill for that mindset in publishers today. I’d even kill a real person for that to happen). So that’s the only reason this didn’t get 5stars from me.
If I was going to compare this duology to a food item, I think I’d have to call this a soft oatmeal raisin cookie. Yummy, sweet, delicious, with just enough texture to make your mouth stay interested in taking another bite but by no means a main course, even though you “could” gorge yourself and then suffer the consequences. So don’t be stupid, don’t gorge yourself on Discworld. Read it in appropriate amounts at the right time. You’ll thank me and so will your carpet (which you won’t be throwing up on if you listen to me)
★★★★✬
From Wikipedia.org
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The book begins shortly after the ending of The Colour of Magic, with wizard Rincewind, Twoflower and the Luggage falling from the Discworld. They are saved when the Octavo, the most powerful book of magic on the Discworld, readjusts reality to prevent the loss of one of its eight spells, which has resided in Rincewind’s head since his expulsion from Unseen University: Rincewind, Twoflower and the Luggage end up in the Forest of Skund. Meanwhile, the wizards of Ankh-Morpork use the Rite of Ashk-Ente to summon Death to find an explanation for the Octavo’s actions. Death warns them that the Discworld will soon be destroyed by a huge red star unless the eight spells of the Octavo are read.
Several orders of wizards travel to the forest of Skund to try and capture Rincewind, who is currently staying with Twoflower and the Luggage in a gingerbread house in the forest. In the subsequent chaos, Rincewind and Twoflower escape on an old witch’s broom, while the Archchancellor of Unseen University is killed when his attempt to obtain the spell accidentally summons the Luggage on top of him, crushing him to death. His apprentice, Ymper Trymon, uses the opportunity to advance his own power, intending to obtain the eight spells for himself.
Rincewind and Twoflower run into a group of druids who have assembled a “computer” formed from large standing stones, and learn of the approaching red star. As Twoflower attempts to stop the druids from sacrificing a young woman named Bethan, Cohen the Barbarian, an octogenarian parody of Conan, attacks the druids. Twoflower is poisoned in the battle, forcing Rincewind to travel to Death’s Domain to rescue him. The pair narrowly avoid being killed by Ysabell, Death’s adopted daughter, and as they escape Death’s Domain, Rincewind learns from the Octavo itself that it had arranged for its eighth spell to escape into his head, to ensure the spells would not be used before the right time.
Rincewind and Twoflower travel with Cohen and Bethan to a nearby town, where the toothless Cohen leaves to have some dentures made for him, having learned of them from Twoflower. While he is gone, Rincewind, Twoflower and Bethan are attacked by a mob of people who believe the star is coming to destroy the Discworld in response to the presence of magic. The trio escape into one of many shops that sell strange and sinister goods and inexplicably vanish the next time a customer tries to find them. The existence of these shops is explained as being a curse by a sorcerer upon the shopkeeper for not having something in stock. They are able to return to Ankh-Morpork via the shop.
As the star comes nearer and the magic on the Discworld becomes weaker, Trymon tries to put the seven spells still in the Octavo into his mind, in an attempt to save the world and gain ultimate power. However, the spells prove too strong for him and his mind becomes a door into the “Dungeon Dimensions”, home to all manner of eldritch creatures. Rincewind and Twoflower manage to kill the now-mutated Trymon, and Rincewind reads all eight of the Octavo’s spells aloud. This causes eight moons of the red star to crack open and reveal eight tiny world-turtles that follow their parent A’Tuin on a course away from the star. The Octavo then falls and is eaten by the Luggage.
Twoflower and Rincewind part company as Twoflower decides to return home, leaving the Luggage with Rincewind as a parting gift. Cohen and Bethan also leave to get married. Rincewind decides to re-enroll in the university, believing that with the spell out of his head, he will finally be able to learn magic.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Deja Vu Halloo Series: Reeves and Worcester Steampunk Mysteries #5 Author: Chris Dolley Rating: 3 of 5 Stars Genre: Steampunk Mystery Pages: 139 Words: 42K
It’s been about 2 years since I read the previous Reeves and Worcester book, The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall, and I was hoping that would breathe some new life into this fifth book. Unfortunately, it did not.
Don’t get me wrong, this was still amusing and I don’t regret reading it at all, but it was starting to feel tired. Time machines, the faux-PG Wodehouse expressions, it seemed like Dolley (the author) was just going through the motions. Considering this was published in ‘20 and there’s not been another one, I suspect Dolley realized where things were headed and just stopped before he ran off a cliff. I can respect that in an author.
The timey-wimey aspect of this, with Reeves and Worcester repeating the same day over and over again, glazed my eyes over. When Reeves began explaining how they were going to break the time loop I completely checked out until they did. Worcester getting sloshed every night so he’d remember the time loop was amusing and when you throw in the various things he and Reeves get up to, it was a good time all around. There was one particular amusing part to the story where Worcester meets the Aunt and Uncle of his fiance and they are 8th Day Secessionists. I just laughed my head off, what with being a 7th Day Adventist myself.
One thing I would like to see is Worcester and his fiance get married. That has all the hallmarks of some serious Wodehousian shenanigan potential. But sadly, I doubt it will happen. Ahhh, it is better to have read and not got the ending you wanted than to have never read at all. Some bloke named Bookstodge made up that quote. Quite a genius, eh? I thought so. If I could track him down, I’d like to give him a solid gold dumptruck just to show him how appreciative I am of his input into the literary world.
★★★☆☆
From the Publisher
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It’s Groundhog Day, 1906. February 2nd is stuck on repeat, and only our intrepid trio appear to have noticed. Emmeline senses the meddling of a higher power – possibly her aunt. Reggie’s sure it’ll be the handiwork of the subterranean horror one least suspects. And Reeves considers it all “most disturbing.”
Can our heroes save the world from perpetual winter? And could ending the time loop be just the start of an even thornier problem?
This short novel is the sixth Reeves & Worcester Steampunk mystery and is set a few months after The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall.
