Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road: Discworld

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Sunday, April 12, 2026

Lords and Ladies (Discworld #14) 3.5Stars

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Title: Lords and Ladies
Series: Discworld #14
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 260
Words: 89K
Publish: 1992

My goodness, Pratchett just can’t keep himself from spouting off and preaching at his readers. This could easily have been a 4star read, or higher, as the story is wonderful and I thoroughly enjoyed it. But yeah, I’m not reading a fantasy series to get preached at by some wacko who only gives lip service to such things as logic and theology.

Sigh...

★★★✬☆

From Wikipedia.org

Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, and Magrat Garlick return to Lancre after their recent adventure in Genua. Magrat is stunned when King Verence proclaims their imminent marriage, having already made all the arrangements in her absence. The sudden appearance of crop circles reveals to Nanny and Granny that it is now "circle time", a convergence of parallel universes when the Discworld is susceptible to incursions from the "parasite universe" of the Elves. Elves are capricious and amoral creatures that enter the minds of animals and sentient beings in a more destructive way than witches do, using "glamour" to alter human's perceptions of them. They are normally kept away by a circle of magnetized iron standing stones known as the Dancers. When Nanny and Granny refuse to explain the situation to Magrat, she leaves the coven, disavows witchcraft, and moves into an apartment in Lancre Castle. She soon becomes bored with the courtly lifestyle and unsure of her place.

Mustrum Ridcully, Archchancellor of Unseen University, leads a small group of faculty to attend the wedding. Along the way, they are joined by the Dwarfish lothario Casanunda.

Granny and Nanny discover that a group of local girls, led by Diamanda Tockley and including Agnes Nitt, have formed a new coven whose activities include dancing naked at the Dancers. The two elderly witches try to convince them to stop, with Granny ultimately besting Diamanda in a public witchcraft contest and discrediting the new coven. But a defiant Diamanda later runs through the Dancers into the land of the Elves, where she is knocked unconscious by a poisoned Elven arrow before being rescued by Granny. Nanny subdues an Elf that pursues them back into Lancre, using an iron fireplace poker; Elves and their powers are severely weakened by iron. The witches bring Diamanda and the Elf to Lancre Castle, where Magrat treats Diamanda and Verence agrees to imprison the Elf (though Magrat inadvertently frees it later). Meanwhile, Granny has begun to experience memories of other paths her life has taken in parallel worlds, as well as a growing sense of her own impending death.

Jason Ogg and the other Lancre Morris Men plan a play to be performed for the wedding guests. When they rehearse near the Dancers, the Elves influence them to include Elvish elements in the play. As a result, when the play is performed at the Dancers, it causes sufficient belief—a powerful force on the Discworld—that the Elves are able to make the guests dismantle the stone circle. The Elves arrive, and the Elf Queen plans to legitimize her rule of Lancre by marrying Verence. None of the members of the Lancre coven are present at this time: Magrat has locked herself in her room due to perceived insults in a letter she has discovered, written by Granny to Verence, advising him to plan the wedding; Nanny is being romanced by Casanunda; and Granny has been magically whisked away by Ridcully, who hopes to resume a romantic connection they had when much younger. The women only become aware of what has happened once the Elves begin to wreak havoc in Lancre. Aided only by general dogsbody Shawn Ogg, Magrat fights her way through the infiltrated castle. She discovers a portrait of Queen Ynci, one of the kingdom's legendary founders. Suddenly inspired by the idea of becoming a warrior queen, Magrat finds and dons Ynci's armour. Feeling influenced by Ynci's spirit (and unaware that Ynci is a fiction, the armour constructed from cookware only a few generations previously), she rescues a captured Shawn and sets out for the Dancers. While Granny and Ridcully make their way through the woods, resulting in Granny's capture by the Elves, Nanny and Casanunda travel through a gateway to the abode of the Elf King, who opposes the Elf Queen despite being her spouse.

At the Dancers, Magrat arrives to confront the Elf Queen at the same time as the people of Lancre, rallied by Shawn and Nanny. But the Elf Queen quickly subdues Magrat with glamour. The captive Granny mentally combats the Elf Queen and releases Magrat from the glamour before succumbing to the Elf Queen's attack, her prone body being covered by the bees from her hive, which have swarmed at the Dancers. When the Elf Queen turns her powers on Magrat, attempting to stop her resistance by dismantling her identity, she exposes the unexpectedly valorous core of Magrat's being – something which Granny had deliberately been stoking, aggravating and provoking all along for just this very outcome. Magrat attacks and subdues the Elf Queen just in time for a projection of the Elf King to arrive and send the Elves back to their world.

Granny appears to be dead, but then Nanny and Magrat learn that she has actually borrowed her bees' hive mind, a feat thought impossible. They break open a window in the castle, where Ridcully has reverently laid Granny's body, enabling the bees to get close enough for her to regain consciousness. Nanny points out to Magrat that Granny's letter to Verence has had a great positive impact on Magrat's life, as well as giving her the strength to fight the Elf Queen. Magrat and Verence are married by Ridcully. Later, Granny and Ridcully make peace with their past and their place in the universe. The growing sense of impending death she had been feeling had been due to the impending deaths of some of her parallel-selves.

Sunday, February 15, 2026

Small Gods (Discworld #13) 2Stars

Title: Small Gods
Series: Discworld #13
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 227
Words: 91K
Publish: 1992

I originally read this back in 2004 and for the most part, the humanistic belief system was brand new to me and thus it came across as “profound”. Twenty years later, with much more experience under my belt, this was complete garbage.

The basic idea, and Pratchett carries this through all his books, is that Man is the center of the universe and everything springs from him. It is a very “mushy” philosophy and thus is used by people like Pratchett who don’t want to get down to the nuts and bolts of theology. It allows for everyone to feel pretty good about themselves while being totally self-contradicting and also completely illogical.

Pratchett’s humor is still here in the story, but man, I could not overlook such shoddy theology. It is just plain bad.

The more I re-read of Discworld, the less inclined I am to ever re-read it again. There are individual books that are standing out as very well done, but overall, the underpinnings are slop and this makes the books themselves slop. Like this one.

★★☆☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

The Great God Om tries to manifest himself once more in the world, as the time of his Eighth Prophet is nigh. He finds himself in the body of a tortoise, stripped of his divine powers except for the ability to singe eyebrows with tiny thunderbolts. In the gardens of Omnia's capital of Kom, he addresses the novice Brutha, the only one able to hear his voice. Om has a hard time convincing the boy of his godliness as Brutha is convinced that Om can do anything he wants and would not want to appear as a tortoise.

Brutha is gifted with an eidetic memory and is therefore chosen by Vorbis, the head of the Quisition, to accompany him on a diplomatic mission to Ephebe as his secretary. Despite his amazing memory, Brutha is illiterate and rarely thinks for himself. This begins to change after Brutha discovers Ephebe's philosophers; the idea of people entertaining ideas they are not certain they believe or even understand is an entirely new concept to him.

With the help of Ephebe's Great Library and the philosophers Didactylos and his nephew Urn, Om learns that Brutha is his only genuine believer. All others either just fear the Quisition's wrath or go along with the church out of habit. After learning that Vorbis had facilitated the death of the missionary Brother Murduck to cover up his being mocked by Ephebian citizenry and to provide a reason for war against Ephebe, Brutha uses his memory to reluctantly aid an Omnian raid through the Labyrinth guarding the Tyrant's palace. Because of his authorship of De Chelonian Mobile (The Turtle Moves), which contradicts Omnian dogma about the shape of the Discworld, Didactylos is brought before Vorbis to face reprisal. Seemingly conceding his previous views about the shape of the world and willing to write a retraction extolling Omnian interpretations, Didactylos escapes after hitting Vorbis with his lantern. Ordered by Vorbis to burn down the Library, Brutha memorizes many scrolls in order to protect Ephebian knowledge as Didactylos sets fire to the building to stop Vorbis reading its scrolls. Completely unrelated to the story, the Librarian of the Unseen University travels through L-Space to rescue several of the abandoned scrolls.

Fleeing the ensuing struggle in Urn's steam-powered boat, which is destroyed as the price for an earlier deal made between Om and the Sea Queen, Brutha and Om end up washed up on the desert coast. Trekking home to Omnia with a catatonic Vorbis, they encounter ruined temples dedicated to long-dead, long-forgotten gods, the faint ghost-like small gods yearning to be believed in to become powerful, the small-god-worshipping anchorite St Ungulant, and the human cost of Vorbis's plan of leaving caches of water in the desert to attack Ephebe. Realising his 'mortality' and how important his believers are to him, Om begins to care about them for the first time.

While Brutha, Vorbis, and Om are in the desert, the Tyrant of Ephebe manages to regain control of the city and contacts other nations who have been troubled by Omnia's imperialistic ambitions. Sergeant Simony, whose native Istanzia had been conquered by Omnia in his youth, brings Didactylos and Urn to Omnia to lead the Turtle Movement in a rebellion against the Church.

On the desert's edge, a recovered Vorbis attempts to finish off Om's tortoise form, knocks out and abducts Brutha, and proclaims himself as the Eighth Prophet, elevating Brutha to archbishop to buy his silence. After Urn accidentally activates the hydraulic system which secretly operates the doors of the Great Temple, Brutha interrupts Vorbis's ordainment. As a result, Brutha is to be publicly burned for heresy but Om comes to the rescue, dropping from an eagle's claws onto Vorbis' head, killing him. The great crowd witnesses this miracle and comes to believe in Om, making him powerful again. In the ethereal desert, Vorbis learns to his horror that what he thought was the voice of Om was in fact his own voice echoing inside of his own head, plunging him into despair and leaving him unable to cross the desert and face judgement.

Om manifests himself over the citadel and attempts to grant Brutha the honour of establishing the Church's new doctrines. However, Brutha wishes to establish a 'constitutional religion' whereby Om Himself obeys Omnianism's new commandments and answers some of the prayers of his followers in exchange for a steady source of belief, believing that Om will lose his power again otherwise.

Ephebe has allied with several other nations along the Klatchian coast and has sent an army against Omnia, establishing a beachhead near the citadel. Brutha attempts to establish diplomatic contact with the generals of the opposing army, wishing to stop the war before it starts by surrendering. Despite trusting Brutha, the leaders state they do not trust Omnia and that bloodshed is necessary. At the same time, Simony leads the Omnian military including Urn's 'Iron Turtle' war engine to the beachhead in order to fight the anti-Omnian alliance.

Om attempts to physically intervene in the battle, but Brutha demands he does not interfere with the actions of humans. Om is infuriated but obeys Brutha, and instead travels to Dunmanifestin, where gods gamble on the lives of humans in order to gain or lose belief. Om unleashes his fury on the other gods and causing a storm that disrupts the battle. Eventually he compels all other gods of the forces at the battle to tell their soldiers to stop fighting and make peace.

In the aftermath Brutha becomes the Eighth Prophet, ending the Quisition's practice of torture and reforming the church to be more open-minded and humanist, with the citadel becoming home to the largest non-magical library on the Discworld. Om also agrees to forsake the smiting of Omnian citizens for at least a hundred years. A hundred years to the day after Om's return to power Brutha dies. In the afterlife he finds the spirit of Vorbis and, taking pity on him, guides him to his judgement. It is revealed that this century of peace was originally meant to be a century of war and bloodshed which the History Monk Lu-Tze changed to something he liked better.

Wednesday, December 17, 2025

Witches Abroad (Discworld #12) 4Stars

Title: Witches Abroad
Series: Discworld #12
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 202
Words: 81K

I enjoyed this, had almost no problems with the philosophy presented by Pratchett and just watched as the story unfolded before me. This is how ALL of Pratchett’s stories should be. So I will appreciate it when it happens.

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia.org

Following the death of the witch Desiderata Hollow, Magrat Garlick receives Desiderata's magic wand, for Desiderata was not only a witch but also a fairy godmother. By giving the wand to Magrat, she effectively makes Magrat the new fairy godmother to a young woman called Emberella, who lives across the Disc in Genua. Unfortunately, Desiderata does not give Magrat any instruction on how to use the wand, so almost everything that Magrat points it at simply becomes a pumpkin.

Desiderata had promised a servant girl (providing a twist on Cinderella) named Emberella that she would not be forced to marry the Duc, the figurehead leader of Genua, who is in actuality really a frog, transformed by the magic of Emberella's other fairy godmother, Lady Lilith de Tempscire. Now it is up to Magrat and her companions, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, to ensure Emberella does not marry the Duc, despite the desires of Lilith, who wishes to ensure a 'happy ending' by utilizing the Discworld's narrative-based nature - because the servant girl marrying the Prince makes for a happy fairy tale, Lilith reasons that on the Disc, this must hold true as well, whether the marriage is consensual or not.

The trio of witches journey to Genua, which takes some time and involves numerous mis-adventures, such as an encounter with a village terrorised by a Vampire (where Nanny Ogg's cat Greebo catches it in bat form and eats it), an incident where they encounter a Running of the Bulls-like event, and a house falling on Nanny's head which she survives thanks to her hat with the willow reinforcement. Upon arrival in Genua, Magrat goes to meet Emberella, while the two older witches meet Erzulie Gogol, a voodoo witch and her zombie servant, Baron Saturday (who was also her late lover).

It is at this time that Magrat finds out that Emberella has two fairy godmothers, Magrat and Lilith. It was Lilith who had manipulated many of the various stories that the Witches had traveled through and who was now manipulating Genua itself, wrapping the city around her version of the Cinderella story. Lilith has had people arrested for crimes against stories, including the arrest of a toymaker for not being jolly, not whistling and not telling the children stories. At this point it is revealed that Lilith is actually Lily, Granny Weatherwax's older sister. The trio learn that she is planning a masked ball where-in Emberella is supposed to meet the Duc.

Using hypnosis, Granny convinces Magrat to attend the masked ball in place of Emberella. Greebo is transformed into human form to aid the witches. Emberella's dress fits, but the glass slippers do not. After enjoying themselves for a while at the ball, the witches are discovered and are cast into a dungeon.

At that point, Emberella, Mrs. Gogol and Baron Saturday arrive at the ball, having broken the witches out of their prison with the aid of Cassanunda (a dwarf and the Disc's second greatest lover). A high concentration of magic causes the Duc to revert to his frog form, and he is trampled by Baron Saturday, causing Lily to flee. Granny starts to follow, but Mrs. Gogol, wanting to kill Lily, tries to stop Granny by using a voodoo doll. Granny thrusts her arm into a flaming torch and preys upon Mrs. Gogol's own belief in the power of the doll to make it burst into flames. Granny Weatherwax then pursues Lily.

Emberella is informed that, as the daughter of the late Baron Saturday, the previous ruler of Genua, she is now Duchess of Genua. Her first command is to end the ball (she dislikes them) and attend the Mardi Gras parade, a form of binge-drinking carnival.

Granny manages to defeat Lily by trapping her in a mirror, unable to 'find herself', and the three witches return home. Granny shows Magrat how to use the wand to do magic, and that it takes more than wishing - the secret is that there are adjustable dials on the wand. Magrat throws the wand into a river, to be lost forever. Then the Witches go home, the long way, and see the elephant.

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Reaper Man (Discworld #11) 3.5Stars

Title: Reaper Man
Series: Discworld #11
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 204
Words: 79K

Pratchett writes some really funny and light stuff, about serious subjects. I was ok with that 20 years ago, but now, not so much. Mainly because I vehemently disagree with Pratchett’s starting point, his foundation as it were. So everything built up on that is more and more off. Ideas might take a long time (ie, multi-generational) to foment, but they do affect us, no matter how small and those changes affect how we raise the next generation. And the more I read of Pratchett, the more I am convinced he knew this, that Ideas Are Powerful, and wasn’t just writing for the fun of it.

So if you don’t think about Eternity, or some of the Big Questions, you’ll have a blast like I did 20 years ago. If you do take this seriously, you’ll still enjoy the story and find some really funny bits but it will be like eating creampuff when you already know you’re overweight and at risk for a heart attack.

And on THAT cheery note, I’m wrapping this up. Because I have a feeling my reviews of Pratchett are going to go along these lines unless I can find some way to turn off my inner philosophical voice. Not sure that is possible though.

★★★✬☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

The Auditors of Reality watch the Discworld to ensure everything obeys The Rules. As Death starts developing a personality the Auditors feel that he does not perform his Duty in the right way. They send him to live like everyone else. Travelling to the Octarine Grass Country, he assumes the name "Bill Door" and he works as a farm hand for the elderly Miss Flitworth. She is a spinster whose fiancé, Rufus, died on a last smuggling expedition many years ago. There are rumours that he had had second thoughts about their marriage but she does not believe them.

While every other species creates a new Death for themselves, humans need more time for their Death to be completed. As a result, the life force of dead humans starts to build up; this results in poltergeist activity, ghosts, and other paranormal phenomena. Most notable is the return of the recently deceased wizard Windle Poons, who was really looking forward to reincarnation. After several misadventures, including being accosted by his oldest friends, he finds himself attending the Fresh Start club, an undead-rights group led by Reg Shoe. The Fresh Start club and the wizards of Unseen University discover that the city of Ankh-Morpork is being invaded by a parasitic lifeform that feeds on cities and hatches from eggs that resemble snow globes. Tracking its middle form, shopping trolleys, the Fresh Start club and the wizards invade and destroy the third form, a shopping mall.

When humankind finally thinks of a New Death, one with a crown and without any humanity or human face, it comes to take Bill Door. Death/Door, having planned for this moment for some time, outwits and destroys it. Having defeated the New Death, Death absorbs the other Deaths back into him, with the exception of the Death of Rats (and ultimately, the Death of Fleas). Death confronts Azrael, the Death of the Universe, and states that the Deaths have to care or they do not exist and there is nothing but Oblivion, which must also end some time.

Death asks for and receives some time. He meets up with Miss Flitworth again and offers her unlimited dreams. She asks to go to the local Harvest Dance. They prepare and join the townspeople for a full night of dancing.

As the sun is coming up, Miss Flitworth realizes she had died hours before the dance even started. Death escorts her through back history to her old fiancé: as she had believed, he had died in an accident and not been unfaithful. The young couple enter the afterlife together.

Returning to the city of Ankh-Morpork, Death meets up with Windle Poons, finally taking him to his afterlife. At the end there is also a discussion between Death and the Death of Rats over what the Death of Rats should "ride", Death suggests a dog while the Death of Rats suggests a cat.

Wednesday, March 26, 2025

Moving Pictures (Discworld #10) 3.5Stars

Title: Moving Pictures
Series: Discworld #10
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 267
Words: 97K

When I read this back in ‘07, I really didn’t like it. I gave it 3stars back then, but it was one of my least favorite Discworld reads to date.

This time around, I thoroughly enjoyed this, mainly because Pratchett just skewers Hollywood and movies and it totally aligns with my absolute disgust with movies and the people who make movies and tv their hobby. Brainless, gormless, garbage. While Pratchett and I didn’t see eye to eye on many, many things, I am man enough to admit that he got at least one thing right. Hollywood is evil and does so much damage that it is incalculable.

With that, I just HAD to bump this up a coveted half star. I know Pratchett is wriggling in his grave with pleasure. He should be.

★★★✬☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

The novel begins with the death of Deccan Ribobe, the last member of an ancient order tasked with 'remembering' Holy Wood through ceremonial chanting, and the escape of an influence from Holy Wood Hill. Several months later, the alchemists of the Discworld have invented moving pictures. Many hopefuls are drawn by the siren call of Holy Wood, home of the fledgling "clicks" industry – among them Victor Tugelbend, a dropout from Ankh-Morpork's Unseen University and Theda "Ginger" Withel, a girl "from a little town you never ever heard of", and the Discworld's most infamous salesman, Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler, who introduces commerce to the equation and becomes a successful producer. The business of making movies grows rapidly, and eventually Victor and Ginger become real stars, thanks to the help of Gaspode the sentient dog (who also develops a manager-client relationship with Laddie, who everybody considers to be the real Wonder Dog, although in fact is very simple-minded). Holy Wood for a while becomes an effervescent place full of humans, dwarfs, alchemists, demons (which essentially constitute the main technological device to make movies), and trolls (among whom is Detritus) all living in harmony.

Meanwhile, it gradually becomes clear that the production of movies is having a deleterious effect on the structure of reality. After Victor discovers the body of Deccan and the ancient order's record, Ginger is possessed by an unspecified entity and she and Victor find an ancient, hidden cinema, complete with a portal to the Dungeon Dimensions. Back in Ankh-Morpork, during the first screening of Blown Away (a parody of Gone with the Wind) which the senior wizards of the Unseen University are also attending, a creature from the Dungeon Dimensions breaks through. Victor fights it (in what eventually becomes a parody of the movie King Kong also featuring the Librarian of the Unseen University), having discovered that he could exploit Holy Wood magic and the narrative conventions of the clicks if he had a camera pointing at him. However, after the creature is defeated, Victor and the Librarian realise that the creatures will still try to get through from the Dungeon Dimensions and that Ginger in her possessed state was not trying to summon them but trying to keep them from coming through (possibly as a result of being descended from the High Priestess of Holy Wood). Returning to the ancient cinema at Holy Wood, Victor and Ginger witness a golden statue of a warrior (reminiscent of an Oscar) come to life and travel through the screen to defeat the creatures.

In the end most things return to normal (also because the Patrician and the wizards make it clear that they will not allow any more movies to be produced ever again), although dwarfs find themselves inexplicably singing "Hihohiho" while mining. Victor and Ginger have a last dialogue over the meaning of Holy Wood and being famous, and Gaspode and the other animals under the influence of Holy Wood lose their ability to reason and speak. The ending lines depict a poetic scene about the fragility of Holy Wood dreams.

Sunday, March 02, 2025

Eric (Discworld #9) 3.5Stars

Title: Eric
Series: Discworld #9
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 94
Words: 35K

While I enjoyed this, this is also where I feel that Pratchett lost the zaniness that is Rincewind. Don’t get me wrong, Pratchett tries, he really does. But the magic is gone, completely.

Amusing but not really funny. I would still recommend this if you’re reading Discworld. Every little bit helps fill in the bigger picture of just how crazy that world is.

Well, onward to the next book...

★★★✬☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

The story is a parody of the tale of Faust, and follows the events of Sourcery in which the Wizard Rincewind was trapped in the Dungeon Dimensions. Rincewind is summoned by the thirteen-year-old demonologist, Eric Thursley, who wanted a demon to grant his heart's desires. He is disappointed when Rincewind tells him he is unable to grant wishes. Rincewind is disheartened to learn that the spells to confine demons work on him; Eric's parrot tells him that because he was summoned as a demon, he is subject to the same terms. The arrival of Rincewind's Luggage causes Eric to suspect deceit on Rincewind's part. Eric's demands are renewed and Rincewind finds that snapping his fingers allows him to grant the following wishes.

To be Ruler of the World. Eric and Rincewind are transported to the rain forests of Klatch in the Tezumen empire (a parody of the Aztec Empire). The locals declare Eric Ruler of the World. During this tribute, Rincewind and the parrot explore the temple of Quezovercoatl (a parody of Quetzalcoatl), where they find a prisoner, Ponce da Quirm (a parody of Juan Ponce de León), who is to be sacrificed. Da Quirm tells Rincewind about the terrible fate the Tezumen have planned for the Ruler of the World, on whom they blame all of life's misfortunes. Rincewind, Eric and da Quirm are tied up at the top of a pyramid to be sacrificed, when Quezovercoatl makes his appearance. Unfortunately for him, the Luggage also makes an appearance, trampling the six-inch-tall Quezovercoatl in the process. The Tezumen, pleased to see Quezovercoatl destroyed, release the prisoners and deify the Luggage in the place of their god.
To Meet the Most Beautiful Woman in All History. Rincewind transports himself and Eric inside in a large wooden horse (a parody of the Trojan Horse). Exiting, they are surrounded by Tsortean soldiers, who take them for an Ephebian invasion force. Rincewind manages to talk their way out from the guards and out of the city, only to fall into the hands of the invading army. Rincewind and Eric are taken to Lavaeolus, the man who built the horse as a decoy so that he and his men could sneak in while their enemies waited around the horse for them to come out. They re-enter Tsort through a secret passage, and find Elenor (a parody of Helen of Troy). Eric and Lavaeolus are disappointed to find that Elenor is now a plump mother of several children, and that artistic licence had been taken in her description. The Ephebians escape the city while Tsort burns, and Lavaeolus and his army set out for home. Eric notes that "Lavaeolus" in Ephebian translates to "Rinser of Winds", hinting that Lavaeolus is an ancestor of Rincewind.
To Live Forever. Rincewind brings Eric and him outside time, just before the beginning of existence. They meet the Creator, who is just forming the Discworld. Rincewind and Eric are left on the newly formed world, with the realisation that "to live forever" means to live for all time, from start to finish. To escape, Rincewind has Eric reverse his summoning, taking them both to hell.

They discover hell steeped in bureaucracy, the Demon King Astfgl having decided that boredom might be the ultimate form of torture. Rincewind uses his university experience to confuse the demons, so he and Eric can escape. While crossing through the recently reformed levels of hell (satirical forms of Dante's Inferno) they encounter da Quirm and the parrot, as well as Lavaeolus, who tells them where the exit is.

The source of Rincewind's demonic powers is revealed to be Lord Vassenego, a Demon Lord leading a secret revolt against Astfgl. Using Rincewind to keep Astfgl occupied while gathering support amongst the demons, Vassenego confronts his king just as Astfgl finally catches up to Rincewind and Eric. Vassenego announces the council of demons has made Astfgl "Supreme Life President of Hell", and that he is to plan out the course of action for demons. With Astfgl lost in the bureaucratic prison of his own making, Vassenego takes over as king and lets Rincewind and Eric escape, so that stories about hell can be told. As they leave, Rincewind and Eric notice that the path they are fleeing along has good intentions written on each cobble.

Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Guards! Guards! (Discworld #8) 4Stars

Title: Guards! Guards!
Series: Discworld #8
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 259
Words: 98K

One hundred percent better than when I read this back in 2007 (link at the bottom of the review). A lot of that is that I’ve read enough of Discworld to know now that it’s not all madcap silliness, like I was expecting back then. It also helps that I’m reading these in publication order and keeps me from getting tunnel vision on one set of characters (Rincewind, the Witches, Death, etc) and hitting a wall when a book is about a different set. I am really liking reading these this way because it feels more well rounded and Discworld as a setting is fleshed out more by the various characters instead of being seen from just one perspective.

I had forgotten just how broken Vimes is at the beginning. In many ways this is a redemption story and yet, it’s not. I can’t put my finger on it exactly, but part of it is more about Vimes himself pulling himself up by the bootstraps than any redemption. Vimes (for some reason I always want to say “Grimes”) is a very humanistic literary character and I can see why Pratchett chose to create him and why many readers of Discworld identify with him. There’s nothing of the supernatural intruding into Vime’s life to make him question life’s basic questions. There’s just crime and grime and apathy. He can overcome those things on his own with no help (as thus enable the reader to feel that they can too). I have a feeling that is one of the reasons I didn’t care for The Watch sub-series as much before.

I still don’t like that direction, but having interacted a lot more with people of no faith in the last 17 years has given me a broader and hopefully more sympathetic feeling towards those who would feel like Vimes does. They are wrong, but I’m not so likely to shake my finger at them and lecture them for 30 min. I cut that down to just 10 minutes now ;-)

The story was fun. Rogue magic user politician wannabe takes over the city and gets in WAY over his head. Vimes and the Night Watch help figure things out while the Patrician sits back and lets things play out. It was a relatively light story with only Ankh-Morpork at stake and not the whole of Discworld. Grimes, blast it, Vimes, has enough Everyman Banal Thoughts to make those not used to thinking for themselves feel like they are reading something deep while the rest of us can safely roll our eyes and think about kicking Vimes in the pants to get him out of his funk.

Now that I’ve read the first of The Watch books again and enjoyed it so much, I am looking forward to the rest of them. I really wasn’t before, but I think that reading the books in publication order is going to continue to make a night and day difference for me.

Cheers to that!

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia.org

A secret monastic order plots to overthrow the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork and install a puppet monarch under the control of the Order. They summon a dragon to terrorise the city and plan to have the puppet "slay" the dragon and claim to be the lost heir of the defunct royal house.

The Night Watch, which is generally seen as both corrupt and incompetent, starts to change with the arrival of idealistic new recruit Carrot Ironfoundersson, a human orphan raised by dwarfish parents. When the Librarian of the Unseen University (an orangutan) reports a book of magic stolen, Vimes links the theft to the dragon's appearances. The Watch's investigation makes the acquaintance of Lady Sybil Ramkin, who breeds small swamp dragons, and gives an underdeveloped dragon named Errol to the Watch as a mascot.

At first, the plot works flawlessly. The Patrician is ousted in favor of the new king, but the banished dragon returns and makes itself king, demanding gold and virgin sacrifices, and prepares to wage war against Ankh-Morpork's neighbours for the further acquisition of both (which the citizenry generally seem to approve of).

Vimes confronts his old childhood friend, the Patrician's Secretary Lupine Wonse, having figured out that he is the Supreme Grand Master, and responsible for the dragon's appearance. Vimes is imprisoned in the same cell as the Patrician. Vimes escapes with the help of the Librarian and runs to rescue Sybil, chosen as the first sacrificed maiden. After the remaining Watch fail to kill the king through a 'million-to-one chance' arrowshot, Errol fights it, and knocks it from the sky. The assembled crowd closes in to kill the king, and Sybil pleads for the dragon's life. Carrot arrests it, but Errol lets it escape. The dragon is in fact female, and the battle between them was a courtship ritual.

Vimes arrests Wonse, as he tries to summon another dragon, telling Carrot to "throw the book at him". Wonse falls to his death after the very literal Carrot hits him with a thrown copy of Laws and Ordinances of Ankh-Morpork.

The Patrician is reinstated as ruler of Ankh-Morpork, and offers the Watch anything they want as a reward. They ask only for a modest pay raise, a new tea kettle, and a dartboard. However, since the Watch's original station house was destroyed by the dragon, Lady Ramkin donates her childhood home at Pseudopolis Yard to serve as the new one.

Wednesday, November 06, 2024

Pyramids (Discworld #7) 4Stars

Title: Pyramids
Series: Discworld #7
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 253
Words: 88K

This is the first “standalone” Discworld novel. By that I mean that none of the characters in this book ever return as main characters nor do we ever go back to the country the main character is from. This is simply a “Discworld” novel. While having read the previous six books will give you a slightly better overall view of Ankh-Morpork, not very much of the story actually takes place there and a better knowledge of that city will not actually affect your enjoyment of this book. But just like I stated in the previous book, Discworld “should” be read in the order that Pratchett published them. It “can” be read in almost any order, but it is just better the other way.

I was hoping that more of the story would take place in Ankh-Morpork, mainly because I wanted to see more of the Assassins Guild. That didn’t happen. So I pinned my hopes that when Teppic went back to be king that I’d get assassin guild hijinks then. Still didn’t happen. Teppic sneaks around a bit, but that’s the extent of we see of his years of training. I was disappointed. Pratchett seemed more focused on taking his bile out on religion in general in this novel than in telling a fun and engaging story. It was still a fun story, but if he’d written more like some of the earlier books (the Death books in particular, where he tackles a controversial subject, but without coming across like an angry jackass), this could have been so much better. I suspect the acolytes of Scyenze would like this more, as that is/was Pratchett’s pet godling.

Now that I’ve vented MY bile, do I have anything left? That’s a good question. It colors every word in this review. Huh, just like the novel! Amazing, hahahahahaa.

I would not recommend this as a starting place for Discworld even though it is a standalone. The writing isn’t as on point, the humor isn’t as funny and this gives you a glimpse of the author Pratchett would fully turn into near the end of the series. Spare yourself. At the same time, it’s still fun, it’s still entertaining and I don’t feel bad about re-reading this. I do know I would never choose to read this for a third time on it’s own again though.

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia.org

Synopsis – click to open

The main character of Pyramids is Teppic (short for Pteppicymon), the crown prince of the tiny kingdom of Djelibeybi (a pun on the candy Jelly Baby, meaning “Child of the Djel”), the Discworld counterpart to Ancient Egypt. The kingdom, founded seven-thousand years ago and formerly a great empire which dominated the continent of Klatch, has been in debt and recession for generations due to the construction of pyramids for the burial of its pharaohs (primarily on prime agricultural land) and now occupies an area two miles wide along the 150-mile-long River Djel.

Young Teppic has been in training at the Assassins Guild in Ankh-Morpork for the past seven years, having been sent to bring in revenue for the kingdom. The day after passing his final exam by chance, he mystically senses that his father, Pteppicymon XXVII, has died and that he must return home. Being the first Djelibeybian king raised outside the kingdom leads to some interesting problems, as Dios, the high priest, is a stickler for tradition, and does not actually allow the pharaohs to rule the country.

When plans are being laid out for the old pharaoh’s tomb, Teppic (now Pteppicymon XXVIII) mentions that his father did not wish to be buried in a pyramid; in reaction to Dios’s rejection of this idea, Teppic ends up ordering the construction of a pyramid twice the size of the largest one previously built in Djelibeybi. Whilst the pyramid-building Ptaclusp dynasty work out how to build the pyramid within budget and on time (eventually taking advantage of the unfinished pyramid’s premature temporal distortions), the late Pteppicymon XXVII spends his time observing the embalming of his mortal remains and taking an interest in the lives of his embalmers, Dil and Gurn.

After numerous adventures and misunderstandings, Teppic is forced to escape from the palace with a handmaiden named Ptraci, who was condemned to death for not wishing to die and serve the late pharaoh in the afterlife (effectively on Dios’ orders since Teppic wished to pardon her). However, during the attempt, Dios discovers them and decrees that Teppic has killed the King (as the King is only recognised whilst wearing the Mask of the Sun and Dios reasons that Teppic’s actions to save Ptraci would not be those of the King) and should be put to death. Meanwhile, the massive pyramid warps space-time so much that it “rotates” Djelibeybi out of alignment with the space/time of the rest of the Disc by ninety degrees.

After Teppic and Ptraci manage to escape Djelibeybi, they travel to Ephebe to consult with the philosophers there as to how to get back. Meanwhile, pandemonium takes hold in Djelibeybi, as the kingdom’s multifarious gods (many of whom occupy the same roles, such as Supreme God, God of the Sun, or God of the Djel) descend upon the populace, and all of Djelibeybi’s dead rulers come back to life. Also, the nations of Ephebe and Tsort prepare for war with one another, as Djelibeybi can no longer act as a buffer zone between the two.

Eventually, Teppic re-enters the Kingdom and attempts to destroy the Great Pyramid, with the help of all of his newly resurrected ancestors. They are confronted by Dios, who, it turns out, is as old as the kingdom itself, and has advised every pharaoh throughout its history. Dios hates change and thinks Djelibeybi should stay the same. Teppic succeeds in destroying the Pyramid, returning Djelibeybi to the real world and sending Dios back through time (where he meets the original founder of the Kingdom, thereby restarting the cycle). Teppic then abdicates, allowing Ptraci (who turns out to be his half-sister) to rule. Ptraci immediately institutes much-needed changes, Teppic decides to travel the Disc, Death comes to ferry the former rulers of Djelibeybi to the afterlife, and Djelibeybi’s former embalmers and pyramid-builders adjust to life without the pyramids.

Saturday, September 28, 2024

Wyrd Sisters (Discworld #6) 4Stars

Title: Wyrd Sisters
Series: Discworld #6
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 210
Words: 85K

I really enjoyed this. I do wonder though if in another decade the references that Pratchett makes to such people as the Marx Brothers, Laurel & Hardy and Charlie Chaplin will be as meaningless as references to Britney Spears. A grasp of Shakespeare, while not essential, will make the read much fuller.

The humor, while not laugh out loud, felt genuine and actually funny, unlike in Sourcery. The humor of the witches is earthy and natural and springs from human nature itself. Which is why I think it feels so genuine each time and not forced like with Rincewind. That’s important for a series of book built on humor, even if elements of the sardonic are involved.

The inclusion of Nanny Og and Magrat help offset Granny Weatherwax as an irascible old woman. Nanny Og is an old nympho and Magrat is the sad sack meant to generate sympathy. Each has her strengths and weaknesses and they fit very well together as a unit. It provides a much wider variety of situations for Pratchett to work with and I think his writing will be the better for that.

People always ask where to start with Discworld. I used to give my favorite books as a starting place but this deliberate series re-read has made me realize that people need to start at the beginning and just work their way through the series as Pratchett wrote them. Sure, you will get some books you don’t enjoy as much, but you’ll also get the full Discworld experience and THAT is more important than your enjoyment of an individual book. Think of Discworld like Communism and Pratchett as Chairman Mao and you’ll get the idea 😉

Hail Comrades, may the New Order Enlighten you!

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia.org

Synopsis – click to open

Wyrd Sisters features three witches: Granny Weatherwax; Nanny Ogg, matriarch of a large tribe of Oggs and owner of the most evil cat in the world; and Magrat Garlick, the junior witch, who firmly believes in occult jewelry, covens, and bubbling cauldrons, much to the annoyance of the other two.

King Verence I of Lancre is murdered by his cousin, Duke Felmet, after his ambitious wife persuades him to do so. The King’s crown and child are given by an escaping servant to the three witches. The witches hand the child to a troupe of travelling actors, and hide the crown in the props-box. They acknowledge that destiny will eventually take its course and that the child, Tomjon, will grow up to defeat Duke Felmet and take his rightful place as king.

However, the kingdom is angry about the way the new King is mistreating the land and his subjects. The witches realise that it will be at least 15 years until Tomjon is able to return and save the kingdom, but by then irreparable damage will have been done. Granny Weatherwax, with help from the other two witches, manages to cast a spell over the entire kingdom to send it forward in time by 15 years. Meanwhile, the duke has decided to have a play written and performed that portrays him in a favourable light and the witches in a negative light. He thinks this will cause the witches to lose their power, and the people will like him. He sends the court Fool to Ankh-Morpork to recruit the same acting company that Tomjon was given to, which now resides in the Dysk Theatre on the river Ankh.

The company make their way to Lancre, and perform the play for the King as asked. However, Hwel, the playwright, maintains that there is something wrong with the plot of the play, something that just doesn’t feel right. The witches cast a spell in the middle of the play that causes the actors to portray the killing of the king truthfully, and the audience sees that the Duke and Duchess are guilty of killing Verence I. Felmet finally succumbs to insanity and stabs several people with a retracting stage dagger, before tripping and falling to his death in the Lancre Gorge. The Duchess is imprisoned but manages to escape, only to be killed by a collection of various forest animals who want revenge for the poor treatment of the land.

Granny Weatherwax explains that Tomjon is the rightful king, and he is due to be crowned. However, Tomjon does not want to be king; he is an extremely talented actor and wishes to continue his career with his adopted father, Vitoller. Instead Granny Weatherwax tells the town that the Fool is in fact the king’s son from another mother, and Tomjon’s half-brother, and he is crowned King Verence II of Lancre. Later on, Granny and Nanny reveal to Magrat that the previous fool is actually Tomjon’s and Verence II’s father. The status of Magrat and Verence II, who have been awkwardly courting throughout the story, is not fully explained at the conclusion.

Sunday, August 04, 2024

Sourcery (Discworld #5) 3Stars

Title: Sourcery
Series: Discworld #5
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 197
Words: 79K

Unfortunately, this is what most people think of in terms of humor when they think of Rincewind the Wizzard. This was slightly amusing but not really funny and almost kind of sad. I didn’t dislike this story, but I really didn’t enjoy myself like I have with some of the previous Discworld books. It was like Pratchett had an off week and churned this clunker out during that time.

If I was just a teeny bit lazier, I’d end this review and not hide the synopis and call it a day. But I’m not quite that lazy, yet. I’m getting there though.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve done a food comparison for a book, but I think I have the perfect example for this book.

The Setting:

The Wilds of the Freest State in the United States of America

The Characters:

Two manly men who have worked hard all day doing Big Important Survey Things that you wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to you.

The Story:

After a hard day’s work where thousands of calories were burned doing Very Important Survey Things, McStudley and MacManly were driving back to the office. They were starving. In fact, if they had been soccer players, chances are one of them would have doused the other in bbq sauce and devoured him on the spot. Thankfully, for our story, they drove by a Wendy’s fast food restaurant. MacManly decided to get a Biggie Bag, because it had the word “Big” in it and his hunger sure was big that day. It was advertised as a double cheeseburger with bacon, fries, chicken nuggets and a drink. The chicken nuggets weren’t crispy at all. The fries were lukewarm at best. The icemachine wasn’t working so his diet vanilla coke was room temperature. The bacon was limp, the burgers overcooked, the lettuce was wilted and the bun looked like a sad clown. All in all it was a pathetic excuse for a “meal”. But MacManly still devoured it because he was starving.

The Lesson:

The ingredients can all be there but if they are not prepared right, it doesn’t matter because I was starving and I would have read a cereal box. Ok, so I mixed up my metaphors there, sue me. But you get the idea.

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

Synopsis – click to open

Death comes to collect the soul of Ipslore the Red, a wizard who was banished from Unseen University for marrying and having children. Bitter over his exile and the death of his wife, Ipslore vows revenge upon the wizards through his eighth son, Coin. As the eighth son of a wizard who himself is an eighth son, Coin is born a sourcerer, a wizard who generates new magic rather than drawing it from the world, effectively making him the most powerful wizard on the Disc. At the moment of his death, Ipslore transfers his spirit into his wizard’s staff, which is passed to Coin, preventing Death from collecting Ipslore’s soul (since damaging the staff to do so would kill Coin) and allowing Ipslore to influence his son.

Eight years later, Virrid Wayzygoose, the Archchancellor-designate of Unseen University in Ankh-Morpork, is murdered before his induction by Coin, who then forces his way into the university’s Great Hall. After Coin bests one of the top wizards in the University, he is welcomed by the majority of the wizards. Rincewind, The Luggage and the Librarian miss Coin’s arrival, having fled the University shortly beforehand after the foreboding departure of all of its magically-influenced pest populations. While they are at the Mended Drum, Conina, a professional thief and a daughter of Discworld legend Cohen the Barbarian, arrives holding a box containing the Archchancellor’s hat, which she has procured from the room of Wayzygoose, and which possesses a kind of sentience as a result of being worn by hundreds of Archchancellors. Under the direction of the hat, which sees Coin as a threat to wizardry and the very world, Conina forces Rincewind to come with her and take a boat to the city of Al Khali, where the hat claims there is someone fit to wear it.

In Ankh-Morpork, the wizards are made more powerful due to Coin’s presence drawing more magic into the Discworld. Under Coin’s direction, the wizards take over Ankh-Morpork—transforming it into a pristine city and turning the Patrician, Lord Vetinari, into a newt—and make plans to take over the world. Elsewhere, Rincewind, Conina and the Luggage end up in the company of Creosote, the seriph of Al Khali, and Abrim, his treacherous vizier. The trio are eventually separated; Rincewind is thrown into the snake pit, where he meets Nijel the Destroyer, a barbarian hero in training. Conina is taken to Creosote’s harem, where the Seriph has his concubines tell him stories. The Luggage, having been scorned by Conina, runs away and gets drunk, before killing and eating several creatures in the desert.

Coin eventually declares Unseen University and the various wizarding orders obsolete and orders the Library to be burnt down, claiming that Wizardry no longer requires such things. A group of wizards then attack Al Khali, with the sheer amount of magic created by their arrival temporarily putting Rincewind into a trance and enabling him to use magic, allowing him and Nijel to escape the snake pit. They join up with Creosote and Conina, the latter immediately falling in love with Nijel, and they encounter Abrim, who had put on the Archchancellor’s hat hoping to gain power from it, only to be possessed instead. Having the experience of many previous Archchancellors, the hat proves an even match for Sourcery-empowered wizards, fighting off a group of them and enlisting others to its cause. As this takes place, Rincewind, Conina, Nijel and Creosote find a magical flying carpet in the palace’s treasury, and use it to escape the palace as it gets destroyed by the possessed Abrim building his own tower.

With the orders no longer around to keep the wizards in check, wizards across the Discworld go to war with one another, threatening to destroy the world completely. Upon hearing Creosote express anti-wizard sentiments, an angry and humiliated Rincewind abandons the group, taking the flying carpet and making his way to the University, where he learns that the Librarian has saved the library books by hiding them in the ancient Tower of Art. The Librarian convinces Rincewind to stop Coin, and he goes off to face the Sourcerer with a sock containing a half-brick. Back in Al Khali, the Luggage, blaming the Archchancellor’s hat for everything it has endured, forces its way into Abrim’s tower. Distracted by the Luggage, the possessed vizier is killed by the Ankh-Morpork wizards, with the tower and the Archchancellor’s hat getting destroyed in the process.

Despite his victory, Coin becomes concerned when he is told that wizards rule under the Discworld Gods. He traps the gods in an alternate reality, which shrinks to become a large pearl, unknowingly causing the Ice Giants, a race of beings who had been imprisoned by the gods, to escape their prison, whereupon they begin strolling across the Discworld, freezing everything in their path. Rincewind confronts Coin soon after this. The Sourcerer is amused, but unthreatened, by Rincewind attempting to fight him, prompting Ipslore to try to force Coin to kill him. Rincewind eventually convinces Coin to throw the staff away, but Ipslore’s power is channelled against that of his son. The other wizards leave the tower as Rincewind rushes forward, grabbing the child and sending both of them to the Dungeon Dimensions while Death strikes the staff and takes Ipslore’s soul. Rincewind orders Coin to return to the University and, using his other sock filled with sand, attacks the Creatures from the Dungeon Dimensions as a distraction to ensure Coin’s escape. The Gods are subsequently set free, stopping the march of the Ice Giants. As the Librarian helps Coin escape, the Luggage charges into the Dungeon Dimensions after Rincewind.

Coin returns the University and Ankh-Morpork to the way they were before he came. After Conina and Nijel travel to the University looking for Rincewind, Coin uses his magic to make them forget him and live happily ever after together. Recognising that he is too powerful to remain in the world, Coin steps into a dimension of his own making and is not seen on the Discworld again. The Librarian takes Rincewind’s battered hat, which was left behind when he went into the Dungeon Dimensions, and places it on a pedestal in the Library. The narrator states, “A wizard…will always come back for his hat”.

Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road

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Sunday, March 02, 2025

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Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Guards! Guards! (Discworld #8) 4Stars

Wednesday, November 06, 2024

Pyramids (Discworld #7) 4Stars

Saturday, September 28, 2024

Wyrd Sisters (Discworld #6) 4Stars

Sunday, August 04, 2024

Sourcery (Discworld #5) 3Stars

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