This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: A Phule and His Money Series: Phule’s Company #3 Author: Robert Asprin & Peter Heck Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars Genre: SF Pages: 343 Words: 90K
This is where I don’t follow my own advice. This was a very mediocre book. Not bad, but 100% mediocre. If I saw someone else read this book and say the things I will say, I would recommend, very strongly to them, that they abandon the series and let it go. My problem, at least as I tell myself, is that I don’t actually have that many “new to me” series or authors to replace it. Most of what I am reading is stuff in a longer running series (Discworld, Nero Wolfe, 87th Precinct, The Shadow, etc) and it takes more time and effort on my part to search out a new series or author than it does to simply slog through the oatmeal books.
Peter Heck joined the authorial crew here but to be honest, I never would have known it. I suspect Asprin gave him a rough outline and Heck did all the heavy writing in Asprin’s style and they called it a day. I was down for the count when I read this (really bad cold again, put me out of work for a day with all the coughing) but even still, there was no energy to the story or characters. It was boring.
If any of you can suggest some stuff to me that is pre-2000 and that I haven’t already read and sounds semi-interesting to me, I’ll gladly dump this and try that.
★★✬☆☆
From the Publisher
Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule’s Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into…a crack team of casino security guards.
Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise—goofing off—than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Stalking the Dragon Series: John Justin Mallory #3 Author: Mike Resnick Rating: 2 of 5 Stars Genre: Fantasy Pages: 237 Words: 76K
THIS was the first book I read in ‘24 and my goodness, was it boring. I don’t mean there were sections that were boring, but the whole book was boring. It was like Resnick set out to tell an exciting story but right before he started he tripped over his portable Boring Machine and dosed himself with a 100% lethal dose of boring rays.
Who cares that you have to make five left turns to get to the corner of Boring Street and Boringer street in Magical New York? Carruthers, JJ’s partner who was a former hunter and could have added some extra ultra awesome gun action (she carries something like a .75calibre magnum handgun!) is sent off on meaningless tasks and she doesn’t do anything. JJ doesn’t do anything but trudge around, and he trudges around as boringly as Resnick (the author) can make him.
Being a shorter book, by the time I came out of my stupefaction and realized that I should have dnf’d this, I was already done. Resnick is really hit and miss for me, but man, this was “tie me down and make me watch Pollyanna 1000 times in a row” kind of boringness. I don’t know how he survived writing stories like this. Thankfully, this series is over. Bleh.
I have one more I’m going to try by Resnick, a Weird West series of 4 books. But now that the fog has lifted from my brain, if I’m bored, or even Not Super Entertained by the next series, I’ll be done. I do NOT want to repeat this complete waste of my time.
Much like Marley, I come to you warning you not to waste your time on this boring story. Heed my warning……. (insert ghost noises)
★★☆☆☆
From Bookstooge.blog
Click to Open
A miniature show dragon is stolen and JJ is hired to find it. Even the Grundy, the main suspect, wants him to find it. Turns out the owner stole it himself so he could place some bets and win big under aliases. JJ finds the dragon and enters it into the contest and wins and everybody isn’t 100% miserable. The End.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
For anyone who doesn’t know, Wilkie Collins is known for writing The Moonstone, sometimes called the first detective novel. He was also a contemporary and friend to Charles Dickens. As you should know, Dickens was known as quite the wordy author, always using 5 or 6 words where 1 would have sufficed. Some find this trait of his insufferable, some love it. I happen to love it. When it is done by Dickens. This was also Collins’ debut novel and in it he tries to out-Dickens Dickens. If 1 word would suffice, Collins crams in 10-15. Usually of the most purplish prose possible too. I found it insufferable.
What is worse, this was also boring. Rome is surrounded by a barbarian horde of goths and everyone just sits there and starves to death. Collins can barely be bothered to scare up some drama for us.
The struggle between Paganism and Christianity, as portrayed, also betrayed Collins inherent apathy for either. He was no believer in anything. It should have had some real pathos, some “zing” instead of two old men living their lives out according to their principles.
This was the first book in one of those “Complete Author X” collections. Bad choice, even though I know they’re going alphabetically. If I hadn’t already read Moonstone and had my interest whetted by that, and this was my first Collins, I’d have tossed it into the rubbish heap and not read anything more by him. Really hope the next book is a little more interesting.
★★☆☆☆
From Wilkie-Collins.info and Bookstooge.blog
The plot revolves around two separate but related struggles. That of the old pagan and new Christian religions, seen as equally destructive, embodied in the opposing characters of Ulpius and Numerian; and that of the strong figure of the Goth, Goisvintha, (modelled on Norna in Scott’s The Pirate) seeking revenge against the weak heroine, Antonina.
In the Rome of 408 AD, the young Antonina lives with her father Numerian, zealous in his aims to restore the Christian faith to its former ideals. Numerian’s steward, Ulpius, brought up in the old religion, secretly lives only to restore the forbidden gods of pagan sacrifice. Vetranio, their wealthy neighbour, has designs on the innocent Antonina. When they are surprised by Numerian in an apparently compromising situation, Antonina flees outside the city walls just before Rome is blockaded by the encircling army of the Goths.
Antonina is captured by the chieftain, Hermanric, who falls in love with her. His sister, Goisvintha, was the sole survivor of a Roman massacre in which her children perished and has vowed revenge on Rome and its people. She attempts to kill Antonina but is prevented by Hermanric who allows Antonina to escape. During the weeks of the siege, she lives in a deserted farmhouse, visited nightly by Hermanric. Goisvintha betrays her brother to the Huns who kill him, while Antonina escapes for a second time.
Ulpius, meanwhile, has discovered a breach in the city wall and attempts to betray Rome to Alaric in exchange for his destruction of the Christian religion. Alaric is interested only in humbling his enemies into surrender and seizing a large tribute of gold. Returning towards the city, Ulpius discovers Antonina and accompanies her to Rome where she finds her overjoyed but starving father. Antonina begs the last morsels of food from Vetranio at a macabre and suicidal ‘Banquet of Famine’, preventing him from making a funeral pyre of his palace.
Antonina is stabbed but recovers, her father stays alive, Ulpias dies, Goisvintha goes completely insane and Vetranio retires to the country side.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Troilus and Cressida Author: William Shakespeare Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars Genre: Play Pages: 315 Words: 91K
Yawn.
It appears that 4 of Shakespeare’s play in a monthly row is about all I can handle. Troilus and Cressida was the 5th and it was pure drivel and misery for me. I simply could not get into the flow or anything. It might have been the play itself but whatever the reason, I was within an inch of just skipping it and reading the Wikipedia entry. That’s not a good place to be in.
So I’m taking off from Shakespeare, yet again. I have no clue if I’m going to come back this time. I’ll give it a couple months of thought and make a decision then. I’m in no frame of mind to think rationally about these plays right now.
★★✬☆☆
From Wikipedia:
Troilus and Cressida is set during the later years of the Trojan War, faithfully following the plotline of the Iliad from Achilles’ refusal to participate in battle to Hector’s death. Essentially, two plots are followed in the play. In one, Troilus, a Trojan prince (son of Priam), woos Cressida, another Trojan. They profess their undying love, before Cressida is exchanged for a Trojan prisoner of war. As he attempts to visit her in the Greek camp, Troilus glimpses Diomedes flirting with his beloved Cressida, and decides to avenge her perfidy.
While this plot gives the play its name, it accounts for only a small part of the play’s run time. The majority of the play revolves around the leaders of the Greek and Trojan forces, Agamemnon and Priam, respectively. Agamemnon and his cohorts attempt to get the proud Achilles to return to battle and face Hector, who sends the Greeks a letter telling them of his willingness to engage in one-on-one combat with a Greek soldier. Ajax is originally chosen as this combatant, but makes peace with Hector before they are able to fight. Achilles is prompted to return to battle only after his protege Patroclus is killed by Hector before the Trojan walls. A series of skirmishes conclude the play, during which Achilles catches Hector and has the Myrmidons kill him. The conquest of Troy is left unfinished, as the Trojans learn of the death of their hero.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Fantastic Voyage Series: Fantastic Voyage #1 Authors: Isaac Asimov Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars Genre: SF Pages: 195 Words: 69K
From Wikipedia:
The United States and the Soviet Union have both developed technology that can miniaturize matter by shrinking individual atoms, but only for one hour.
A scientist. Dr. Jan Benes, working behind the Iron Curtain, has figured out how to make the process work indefinitely. With the help of American intelligence agents, including agent Charles Grant, he escapes to the West and arrives in New York City, but an attempted assassination leaves him comatose with a blood clot in his brain that no surgery can remove from the outside.
To save his life, Grant, Navy pilot Captain Bill Owens, medical chief and circulatory specialist Dr. Michaels, surgeon Dr. Peter Duval, and his assistant Cora Peterson are placed aboard a Navy ichthyology submarine at the Combined Miniature Deterrent Forces facilities. The submarine, named Proteus, is then miniaturized to “about the size of a microbe”, and injected into Benes’ body. The team has 60 minutes to get to and remove the clot; after this, Proteus and its crew will begin reverting to their normal size, become vulnerable to Benes’s immune system, and kill Benes.
The crew faces many obstacles during the mission. An undetected arteriovenous fistula forces them to detour through the heart, where cardiac arrest must be induced to, at best, reduce turbulence that would be strong enough to destroy Proteus. As the crew faces an unexplained loss of oxygen and must replenish their supply in the lungs, Grant finds the surgical laser needed to destroy the clot was damaged from the turbulence in the heart, as it was not fastened down as it had been before: this and his safety line snapping loose while the crew was refilling their air supply has Grant begin to suspect a saboteur is on the mission. The crew must cannibalize their wireless radio to repair the laser, cutting off all communication and guidance from the outside, although because the submarine is nuclear-powered, surgeons and technicians outside Benes’s body are still able to track their movements via a radioactive tracer, allowing General Alan Carter and Colonel Donald Reid, the officers in charge of CMDF, to figure out the crew’s strategies as they make their way through the body. The crew is then forced to pass through the inner ear, requiring all outside personnel to make no noise to prevent destructive shocks, but while the crew is removing reticular fibers clogging the submarine’s vents and making the engines overheat, a fallen surgical tool causes the crew to be thrown about and Peterson is nearly killed by antibodies, but they are able to reboard the submarine in time. By the time they finally reach the clot, the crew has only six minutes remaining to operate and then exit the body.
Before the mission, Grant had been briefed that Duval was the prime suspect as a potential surgical assassin, but as the mission progresses, he instead begins to suspect Michaels. During the surgery, Dr. Michaels knocks out Owens and takes control of Proteus while the rest of the crew is outside for the operation. As Duval finishes removing the clot with the laser, Michaels tries to crash the submarine into the same area of Benes’ brain to kill him. Grant fires the laser at the ship, causing it to veer away and crash, and Michaels to get trapped in the wreckage with the controls pinning him to the seat, which attracts the attention of white blood cells. While Grant saves Owens from the Proteus, Michaels is killed when a white blood cell consumes the ship. The remaining crew quickly swim to one of Benes’ eyes and escape through a tear duct seconds before returning to normal size.
I went into this thinking it was an original story by Asimov that was later adapted to the 1966 Movie, Fantastic Voyage. Little did I know that the book was based on the screenplay and was just a novelization of the movie.
And it was all the stronger for it. Because Asimov can’t write a great novel to save his life. (considering that he’s dead, I’d say that’s a strong piece of evidence right there).
At the same time, this was boring as a vanilla fudgsicle made out of tap water. I can see this being a visually appealing movie, but as a book, it was just boring.
Asimov wasn’t happy with doing a novelization and decided to write his own book, which was later released as Fantastic Voyage II: Destination Brain. I will not be reading that however. This was boring enough and I can only imagine that a solo Asimov venture would only take a downward trajectory.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Blitz Series: Checquy Files #3 Author: Daniel O’Malley Rating: 2 of 5 Stars Genre: Urban Fantasy Pages: 622 Words: 250K
Long, bloated, two storylines that didn’t actually have any impact on each other and worst of all, boring. I was bored. The first storyline is dealing with London and World War II and the bombs being dropped on London. The second story involves a woman (who is married to a cop and has a daughter who is a toddler) who joins the Checquy because she can discharge electricity and it is in the present day.
I enjoyed the present day storyline. She was an engaging character with just the right amount of feistiness to keep me from rolling my eyes and she was SMART. She used her brains. Then I would just groan in spirit at the next chapter when we would go back to the stupid idiots who I was forced to read about during WWII. It was nothing more than a boring history info dump about the Checquy and I didn’t care two squats for it. Unfortunately, it seemed to play the bigger part and sucked the life from the entire book.
I actually feel rather generous giving this 2 stars. But it wasn’t bad, so I don’t feel like I can really go any lower. But I certainly won’t be reading any more in the Checquy Files if O’Malley writes any more. I hope he doesn’t because this was bad and I’m going to pretend The Rook and Stiletto are just a duology. Blitz has no business sullying the good literary name of the Checquy Files.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #14 Authors: Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman Rating: 1.5 of 5 Stars Genre: Comics Pages: 51 Words: 2K
Everyone is hanging out in Casey’s old hometown. A bronze cow is stolen from the roof of a convenience store and Casey decides to solve the case. Turns out the cow is solid gold and a national treasure of Slavakia. An unscrupulous businessman is trying to buy it and the Feds are on the case. While Casey, with help from the turtles and April, bumbles about like an idiot.
Yep. I’m done. This was stupid and idiotic. Casey is just dumb and the turtles do nothing to make him smarter but simply enable his stupidity. Plus, we have ninja turtles and all the authors can think of for a storyline is a gold cow? It’s not even bad, it is worse, it is banal.
I’ve got a marvel comic I want to try next, so that will be coming later today. I figure there’s no sense wasting time and waiting until next month.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Majestic Series: ———- Author: Whitley Strieber Rating: 2 of 5 Stars Genre: SF Pages: 267 Words: 95K
Majestic is the name of the secret government agency tasked with dealing with aliens, etc in the United States Government. This book was published in 1989 and in 1993 the tv show The X-Files started airing. I will eat my hat, and quite possibly my boots too, if Chris Carter, the creator of the X-Files didn’t read this book and lift parts of it whole sale to create the X-Files mythology. The head of Majestic is even a bitter old man who has given himself cancer by smoking so much (one of the main villains in the X-Files is the Smoking Man). Because I have seen the X-Files, this felt like an origins story and was rather boring since all the bits and pieces had already been revealed. The differences and specifics were small enough and didn’t matter enough so I wasn’t really interested.
This is supposedly non-fiction posing as fiction to protect Strieber, but come on. And it committed the cardinal sin of being boring. I mean really, really, really boring. And aliens invading us, or protecting us or evolving us, or whatever the heck Strieber is claiming (all of the above at the same time plus some other stuff as far as I could tell) should NOT be boring.
I am debating whether I want to try again with Strieber. Part of writing reviews is so I can think about things like this and not make a snap decision. Sometimes not continuing isn’t even on my mind (like with Universe 2 from yesterday) until I start writing and then I can easily make a decision. This isn’t like that unfortunately. I have been considering this since about halfway through this book and I still can’t make up my mind. Am I hitting a bad run of Strieber or is he really just not for me? Is he really boring like this book? If he is, do I dare give him a 3rd chance? Cat Magic was also very boring, so you know what? I’m done with Strieber. I’ll leave him to those who want him.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission Title: Forgotten Ruin Series: Forgotten Ruin #1 Author: Jason Anspach & Nick Cole Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars Genre: Military Fantasy Pages: 477 Words: 171K
