Knowing this was going to be a collection of short stories, I
deliberately set out to enjoy myself and to focus on the positives
instead of whining about what wasn’t there. And it worked. I
enjoyed the daylights of these stories.
Having three shorter stories really fit my mood this time around. I
enjoyed the brisk pace of it all. Instead of meandering along while
Archie casually pinches the police’s snozz, he does a quick snatch
and grab and dashes off again to slap some hysterical broad.
Wolfe doesn’t get as much time to complain either. It’s like
getting concentrated Wolfe in pill form.
I wouldn’t click the synopsis open if I were you. It’s close to
2000 words long.
The Next Witness
Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin are in
court, having been subpoenaed to testify for the prosecution in a
murder trial. Leonard Ashe has been accused of trying to hire Bagby
Answers, Inc., a telephone answering service, to eavesdrop on his
wife's calls, and of killing employee Marie Willis when she refused
to cooperate. The prosecutor intends to call Wolfe and Archie to
testify that Wolfe turned down Ashe's attempt to hire them to spy on
his wife, actress Robina Keane.
Clyde Bagby, owner of the business,
testifies that Marie had complained to him about Ashe's request and
was planning to tell Robina. Bagby tried unsuccessfully to dissuade
Marie; later that same night, he learned from the police that she had
been strangled to death at her switchboard. Wolfe abruptly exits the
courtroom, followed by Archie, who reminds him that they are under
subpoena and will almost certainly be charged with contempt of court
for leaving. Wolfe, however, is convinced of Ashe's innocence and
wants to have no part in convicting him.
They visit the premises of Bagby
Answers, finding the business to be located in an apartment with a
bedroom for each operator due to employment regulations. Wolfe makes
himself as obnoxious as possible in order to see how much incivility
the employees will tolerate, and the detectives take notice of an
original Van Gogh painting on a wall and a stack of racing forms on a
table while questioning operators Bella Velardi and Alice Hart. From
them, Wolfe and Archie learn that Helen Weltz, another operator, is
spending the afternoon at a cottage in Westchester that she has
rented for the summer.
Arriving at the cottage, they find a
new Jaguar parked in front. Helen is accompanied by Guy Unger, an
acquaintance of several of Bagby's employees. Unger describes himself
as a broker, but gives only a vague description of the business he
transacts. Helen privately admits to Archie that she wants to get out
of an uncomfortable situation, but is too frightened of Unger to give
details. Archie persuades her to call Wolfe's office that evening,
then learns from Wolfe that Unger tried to pay him to drop the
investigation into Marie's murder.
Wolfe and Archie return to the city,
but cannot go to the brownstone because a warrant has been issued for
their arrest. They take shelter at Saul Panzer's apartment for the
night, and Wolfe meets with Robina to persuade her to visit Ashe and
take him with her. She agrees, promising not to tell Ashe's attorney.
Archie gets a call from Helen, relayed to him by Fritz Brenner, and
picks her up from Grand Central Station in order to interview her out
of Unger's presence. Wolfe and Robina meet with Ashe shortly before
the trial resumes the following morning.
Once called to the witness stand, Wolfe
tricks the prosecutor into asking a question that both allows him to
explain his theory of the crime and forces the judge to dismiss the
contempt charge. Based on the operators' behavior during his visit
and the evidence of their lavish spending, he concluded that Bagby
and Unger were using the answering service to blackmail clients by
having the employees listen in on calls and gather compromising
information. Helen had confirmed these facts to Archie the previous
night. However, the plan would only succeed if every operator took
part; anyone who showed hesitation could potentially expose the
scheme. When Marie acted against Bagby's orders and turned down
Ashe's request to spy on his wife, one of her co-workers strangled
her to keep her quiet. Wolfe suspected Bagby of committing the murder
and luring Ashe to the office so that he would be found with the body
and arrested.
Bagby, Unger, Helen, Bella, and Alice
are detained for questioning, Ashe is acquitted, and Bagby is
ultimately convicted of Marie's murder without the need of any
further testimony from Wolfe. Archie reflects that Wolfe's exit from
the courtroom may have been motivated less by a desire to see justice
done than by the discomfort of having to sit next to a woman wearing
too much perfume.
When A Man Murders
Sidney Karnow has returned from the
dead. In 1951 he enlisted in the Army and was sent to Korea as a
soldier in the infantry. Injured in battle, he was left for dead by
retreating American forces, but in fact was only stunned. Karnow was
taken prisoner by the enemy, but after a couple of years he escaped
to Manchuria and lived there in a village until the truce. Then he
made his way to South Korea and was sent home by the Army.
Unusual enough by itself, but Karnow
was also a millionaire. He had inherited money from his parents but
felt that he should serve in the military. Before enlisting, he had
met and married Caroline, who now calls on Wolfe along with her new
husband, Paul Aubry. Caroline and Paul are in a terrible spot:
Karnow's return from the dead apparently voids their marriage, and
they have spent a large portion of Caroline's inheritance to set Paul
up in business as a car dealer. They have decided to offer what is
left of the inheritance, plus the dealership, to Karnow in return for
his consent to a divorce.
Paul has gone to Karnow's hotel room to
put the proposition to him, but got cold feet before knocking on the
door. He discusses the situation once again with Caroline, and they
decide to come to Wolfe for help. Wolfe explains that he is a
detective, not a lawyer, but Aubry replies that "We want you to
detect a way of getting Karnow to accept our proposition."
Ignoring Aubry's diction, Wolfe sends
Archie, along with Aubry and Caroline, to the Hotel Churchill to put
the proposition to Karnow. Archie leaves the clients in the bar and
goes upstairs to Karnow's room, gets no answer to his knock, tries
the doorknob and finds it unlocked. When he enters, he finds Karnow,
shot dead, and a gun lying a few feet away. Archie leaves the room as
he found it, collects the clients and returns to the brownstone,
where Purley Stebbins soon shows up. Archie, Paul and Caroline were
seen at the hotel where Karnow's body was just found.
Stebbins takes Paul and Caroline for
questioning (although Wolfe and Archie insist that he do so from the
sidewalk: Wolfe will not tolerate a client, even a potential client,
being taken into custody inside his house). Archie follows shortly
thereafter, and as he is waiting to meet with the DA, he encounters
Caroline's in-laws: Karnow's Aunt Margaret, cousins Anne and Richard,
and Anne's husband Norman Horne. With them is Jim Beebe, Sidney's
lawyer and executor. Archie learns nothing from them except that Anne
Horne has a facetious sense of humor.
Archie has no information for ADA
Mandelbaum and Inspector Cramer, and shortly after he returns home
Caroline rings the doorbell. She brings the news that the police have
arrested Paul for Karnow's murder, and she wants to hire Wolfe to
clear him. Wolfe accepts, but needs to knows more about Karnow's
relatives. They had received bequests in Karnow's will, stood to lose
those bequests when he turned up alive, and therefore had motive.
Caroline knows little about them except that they had always depended
on Karnow's support, and have not managed their inheritances
prudently. Wolfe sends Archie to bring them to the office.
Archie tries Beebe first but can't
corral him, and has no better luck with Karnow's Aunt Margaret and
his cousin Richard. When he calls on cousin Anne, he gets more of her
persiflage. Trying to draw her out, he lets her read his palm – and
then her husband Norman returns to their apartment. Anne slows Archie
down just enough that Norman, unencumbered, can clip Archie in the
jaw. Then Archie decks Norman, and leaves.
Finally Wolfe hears from Saul Panzer,
who has been investigating a different side of the problem. Wolfe has
Archie phone Inspector Cramer, and gives him the choice of bringing
all involved to Wolfe's office, or declining to cooperate and letting
Wolfe work through the DA's office. Cramer chooses the former option.
In the traditional meeting with the suspects in Wolfe's office, Wolfe
makes public what Saul has turned up: an unwitting but crucial
witness to the motive for Karnow's murder.
Die Like A Dog
It's a rainy day in Manhattan, and
Richard Meegan has grabbed the wrong raincoat after getting the
brushoff from Nero Wolfe. Meegan came to the brownstone to hire
Wolfe, apparently on the sort of marital matter that Wolfe won't
touch. Now Archie Goodwin wants to get his raincoat back: it's newer
than the one Meegan left behind.
As Archie approaches Meegan's small
apartment house on Arbor Street[1] in the Village, he sees police
near the front, including Sgt. Purley Stebbins. Opting for
discretion, Archie starts back home when he realizes he's being
tailed by a friendly black Labrador. It's windy enough that Archie's
hat blows off his head and across the street, but the dog risks its
life retrieving it. After that, Archie can't bring himself to shoo
the dog, so he takes him back to the brownstone.
And there, in the office, Archie
discovers that Wolfe likes dogs. With what passes in Wolfe for
fondness, he recalls that he had a mutt in Montenegro, one with a
rather narrow skull. This Labrador has a much broader skull – Wolfe
asserts that it's for brain room, and decides that the dog is to be
named Jet. Then Fritz reports that Jet has excellent manners in the
kitchen. Wolfe has one-upped Archie once again: he would enjoy
keeping the dog, but can blame Archie for any problem it causes.
Now Cramer appears at the front door,
wanting to know about a dog. A man named Philip Kampf was murdered in
the Arbor Street apartment house. Kampf had owned a black Labrador,
and a policeman noticed that the dog left with Goodwin. Hence
Cramer's questions: Meegan, who saw Wolfe that morning, lives in the
apartment house where Kampf was murdered, and Archie has Kampf's dog.
Wolfe and Archie describe the day's events for Cramer, who wants more
but will wait until the next day.
That evening, looking for a rationale
to keep Jet, Wolfe sends Archie for Richard Meegan. But Meegan
doesn't answer the buzzer, and when another man leaves the apartment
house, Archie follows him.
Archie catches up, introduces himself,
and points out that the man's being followed by a police detective.
Grateful, the man introduces himself as Victor Talento. Archie wants
to know where he's going, and Talento tells him that he's meeting a
young woman. Her name is Jewel Jones, and Talento asks Archie to go
in his place, and tell her that Talento couldn't make it – Talento
doesn't want the police to see them meet.
Archie agrees, meets up with Miss
Jones, and since he can't bring Meegan to Wolfe, brings her instead.
When they enter Wolfe's office, all three get a surprise: Jet, who
has been keeping Wolfe company, runs to Miss Jones and stands in
front of her, wagging his tail.
So she knows Jet, and therefore Kampf,
and Wolfe pries it out of her that she knew him intimately – and in
fact lived for almost a year in the Arbor Street apartment house
where Kampf was killed. She knows, less well, three of the men who
live there: Talento, Jerome Åland, and Ross Chaffee.
Archie interviews Åland, Meegan and
Chaffee separately. From Meegan he learns more about his reason for
seeing Wolfe: Meegan comes from Pittsburgh, and his wife left him –
completely disappeared – about a year earlier. Not long ago Meegan
saw a painting of a woman in a Pittsburgh museum, and he's sure it
was his wife. He tracked down the artist, Ross Chaffee, and asked him
about the model he used. Chaffee couldn't remember the model, but
Meegan did not believe him and, to stay close by, rented the empty
apartment in the Arbor Street building where Chaffee lives.
Archie takes a blind, but successful,
stab at finding the painting and learns that it belongs to a
Manhattan collector. He calls on the collector, gets a look at the
painting, and sees in it a woman who looks a lot like Jewel Jones.
Archie brings her to the office. Informed that she sat for the
painting, and is therefore Meegan's missing wife, Wolfe speaks with
Chaffee by phone. He threatens to turn Miss Jones over to the police
but gives Chaffee the option of bringing the other three tenants with
him to Wolfe's office.
With the Arbor Street residents
collected, Wolfe zeros in on the murderer, and along the way explains
the dog's strange behavior, particularly that it followed Archie from
the apartment house.
