Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road: Asterix

Showing posts with label Asterix. Show all posts

Thursday, September 21, 2023

Asterix in Belgium (Asterix #24) 3Stars

Title: Asterix in Belgium
Series: Asterix #24
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

This was the last story that both Goscinny and Uderzo did. Goscinny died part way through. Not that I could tell, or even really cared, but maybe you do? Yes, weep dear populace, for your mighty hero, your captain, is dead. Deader than Marley in fact.

Ok, that’s enough time for mourning. Get over it now.

Sigh. Another visual medium bites the dust. It isn’t that I disliked this but I simply didn’t care about it. Since this was the last Asterix by both, and given how I’ve been feeling about manga, graphic novels and comics, I’m going to take a break at least until the new years. I want to enjoy these again and not slog through.

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

After fighting the Belgians in the northern part of Gaul, Caesar states that they are the bravest enemies he has ever faced (historically claimed by Caesar). His soldiers agree with him, to the point when they consider being posted to the camps outside Asterix’s village as a period of leave.

Chief Vitalstatistix is aghast at the idea that his village, which has been the terror of the Romans for years, is now looked upon as relatively harmless. He is further outraged when he hears of Caesar’s remarks. He claims that “his villagers” are in fact the bravest men of Gaul, and travels to Belgium to prove his point. A reluctant Asterix and Obelix go with him after Getafix tells them not doing so could make the story come to a sticky end.

After crossing the border, they encounter a village of Belgians who rely on brute strength (and a regular diet of meat and beer) to successfully scare off Caesar’s troops. These Belgians are led by two chiefs, Beefix of the Nervii and Brawnix of the Menapii (though Brawnix comes across mainly as a second-in-command).

To prove that the Gauls are the bravest, Vitalstatistix proposes a competition. The contest consists of raiding and destroying Roman camps on either side of the village. The Belgians and Gauls destroy the camps, telling the soldiers who they are. By the end they have destroyed an equal number of camps. Meanwhile, the Pirates’ ship is wrecked when Obelix throws a boulder catapulted at him too high, causing the Captain to complain, saying he and his men are neutrals. Word is sent to Rome, though the facts are exaggerated, talking about vast hordes of Gauls, a savage pack of hounds, and a mysterious fleet of neutrals. Caesar goes to Belgium himself to restore order unaware of the fact that the whole thing is to get him to decide once and for all which side is the bravest.

Upon Caesar’s arrival, Asterix and Obelix go to meet him under a flag of truce. Asterix proposes that Caesar meet both parties at an arranged meeting point and tell them they are equally brave so they can all go home. Outraged at being reduced to a mere umpire (as opposed to emperor), Caesar furiously declares that he will meet them in battle instead. In the ensuing fight, the Romans get their way in the early stages of the battle through the use of catapults. But then the three Gauls, and their magic potion, join the Belgians after they thwart a Roman flanking maneuver, and, by combining their efforts, the Gauls win the battle.

With the battle lost, Caesar decides to leave for Rome. On his way he comes across the Gaulish and Belgian chiefs. Caesar proudly announces that he will lay down his life, but the chiefs only want to know who is the bravest. Caesar angrily declares them simply all “crazy” and leaves Vitalstatistix and Beefix laughing the incident off. They have to face the fact that they are all equally brave and, after a victory feast, part on good terms.

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Thursday, August 17, 2023

Obelix and Co. (Asterix #23) 3Stars

Title: Obelix and Co.
Series: Asterix #23
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

Caesar is tired, again, of the small Gaulish village flouting his power. And another bright, up and coming young Roman decides that corrupting the Gauls with money will be enough to turn them fat, happy and lazy. With Caesar’s blessing he sets off and starts buying menhirs at exorbitant prices. The rest of the gauls want in on the action and before you know it, the entire village is slaving away making menhirs and selling them to the Romans. Of course, things don’t go quite as planned by the young smart Roman and Caesar ends up losing a bunch of money and the villagers get to beat the stuffing out of the new batch of Roman Soldiers. Good times for everyone!

This was pretty predictable, just like the story where the Roman with the power of gossip goes amongst the Gauls. Things start out as planned and then of course, the Gauls being the Gauls, everything goes off the rails for everyone, Gauls, Romans, Countrymen! And there are more menhirs than you can shake a stick at.

Once the gauls start smacking each other around, Asterix just has to guide them and voila, Gauls are smacking Roman Soldiers around, just like nature intended, hehehehe.

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

After Obelix single-handedly defeats a newly arrived battalion of Roman soldiers, Julius Caesar ponders over how to defeat the village of rebellious Gauls. A young Roman called Preposterus, using his studies in economics, proposes that the Gauls to be integrated into capitalism. Caesar agrees, sending Preposterus to one of the village’s outlying Roman camps. Upon meeting Obelix carrying a menhir through the forest, Preposterus claims to be a menhir buyer and offers to make Obelix a rich man, on the pretext it will give him power, by buying every menhir he can make. Obelix agrees and begins making and delivering a single menhir a day to him.

Demand for his goods increases in time, forcing Obelix to hire villagers – while some aid him, the others hunt boar for himself and his new workers. The resulting workload causes him to neglect his faithful companion Dogmatix, while Asterix refuses to help him, concerned on what this is doing to him. As Obelix grows wealthy and begins wearing ostentatious clothes, many of the village’s men are criticised by their wives for not matching his success. In response, many turn to making their own menhirs to sell to the Romans, despite not knowing what they are for, with Getafix supplying them with magic potion for their work. As most of the village grows wealthy, except for Asterix, Getafix, Cacofonix and Vitalstatistix who did not engage in the new economic system. Asterix believes that this new change will not last.

Eventually, Caesar becomes angered when he learns that Preposterus’ plan is placing him in financial debt. To counter this, Preposterus decides to sell the abundance of menhirs to patricians on the pretext they are a symbol of great wealth and high rank. However, this causes problems as other provinces begin making their own menhirs to sell to the Romans, creating a growing Menhir crisis that is crippling the Roman economy and threatening a civil conflict from the Empire’s workforce. To put a stop to this, Caesar orders Preposterus to cease further trading with Gauls or face being thrown to the lions.

Unknown to him, Obelix becomes miserable from the wealth and power he made, having never understood it all, and how much it has changed other villagers, making him wish to go back to enjoying the fun he had with Asterix and Dogmatix. Asterix soon hears of this and agrees to go hunting boar with him if he reverts to his old clothes, knowing that the villagers’ lives are about to return to normal. When Preposterus arrives to announce he will not be buying another menhir, the villagers claim Obelix knew of this in advance when he called a halt in his work but did not tell them, causing him to fight with them. Asterix soon breaks up the fight, directing the villagers to attack the Romans for causing the whole mess they are in. As they head off to wreck the camp Preposterus is residing in, Obelix decides to take no part in the fight. While the villagers’ wealth is gone, after events in Rome caused the sestertius they received to be devalued, they hold a traditional banquet to celebrate the return to normality.

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Thursday, July 27, 2023

Asterix and the Great Crossing (Asterix #22) 4Stars

Title: Asterix and the Great Crossing
Series: Asterix #22
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

Asterix and Obelix end up in America, where Obelix almost gets hitched to a fat indian girl. Then they escape by getting kidnapped by Vikings. Then they rescue a fellow Gaul and make it home. All for fresh fish.

This was just light and breezy and it fit my need exactly. I needed the silliness, the lightness to help me out of a bad mood. This was not particularly better than any previous book, nor was it as mediocre as some of them had been, but it hit me just right at just the right time and that is why I’m giving it 4 stars.

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia.org

Unhygienix has run out of fresh fish. Since his stock has to be transported from Lutetia (modern-day Paris), it will be some time before the next delivery of fish. However Getafix says he can’t wait since he needs some for his potion. Asterix and Obelix volunteer to resolve the issue by going fishing, to which end they borrow a boat from Geriatrix. After a storm, they get lost, but despite Obelix’s concerns, they do not reach the edge of the world; instead, following a brief encounter with the pirates, they arrive on an island (which the reader surmises is Manhattan Island) with delicious birds that the Gauls call “gobblers” (turkeys), bears and “Romans” with strange facial paintings (Native Americans).

Soon they earn the “Romans”‘ affection, but they decide to leave after the “centurion” chooses Obelix as his rather rubenesque daughter’s fiancé. They go to a small island (which the reader surmises is Liberty Island). Seeing a boat coming, Asterix climbs a cairn of rocks holding a torch and a book like the Statue of Liberty to attract it. The crew are anachronistic Norsemen (with names like Herendethelessen, Steptøånssen, Nøgøødreåssen, Håråldwilssen, Irmgard, Firegård, and their Great Dane, Huntingseåssen) – who managed a Pre-Columbian trans-oceanic contact and take the Gauls, who they thought to be the local natives, to their homeland as proof that there are continents beyond Europe.

The Gauls wanting to return home, and the Vikings’ eagerness to prove their story of a new world, results in a trip back to Europe to the Vikings’ homeland. The Vikings’ chief, Ødiuscomparissen, greets them and is skeptical of their stories, until he sees the Gauls. They plan a celebration, then attempt to sacrifice the “natives”, much to the chagrin of the other Vikings (“Why? They haven’t done anything!”).

Before this can be carried out, a Gaulish prisoner called Catastrofix, who can understand both Gallic and Norse, stirs up Ødiuscomparissen’s suspicion that Herendethelessen is a liar, causing a fight between the Norsemen with the assumption that Herendethelessen has simply gone to Gaul rather than to a new world. Meanwhile, the Gauls escape. This escape is conducive to their original purpose, since Catastrofix is a fisherman and hence able to procure some fish for the magic potion. Unhygenix, however, prefers the scent of his own stock; a preference that explains why his product is such a delicate topic.

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Friday, June 16, 2023

Asterix and Caesar’s Gift (Asterix #21) ★★★✬☆

Title: Asterix and Caesar’s Gift
Series: Asterix #21
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

From Wikipedia:

Having completed twenty years of service in the Roman Army, veteran legionaries Tremensdelirius and Egganlettus await their honesta missio (Latin: honorary discharge) in the morning, but that night a drunk Tremensdelirius insults Julius Caesar and gets arrested. When Caesar is informed of Tremensdelirius’s mishap, he decides to play a practical joke on him. Caesar awards a “special gift” to Tremensdelirius: Asterix’s village in Armorica, the only territory of Gaul not yet conquered by the Roman legions. Tremensdelirius sees little merit in a gift he cannot drink and winds up exchanging the gift for wine and food at an inn in Arausio, owned by Orthopaedix.

Orthopaedix, his wife Angina and daughter Influenza arrive at the village only to be disappointed to find it already inhabited, and that Caesar does not own the village at all (making the gift worthless). With no place to go, Angina berates her husband for selling their inn to travel to Armorica. Vitalstatistix overhears the conversation and decides to offer Orthopaedix a building to open a new inn. Obelix soon has a crush on Influenza, while Geriatrix doesn’t welcome Orthopaedix and his family, regarding them as outsiders. The villagers attend the new inn’s opening night, but Vitalstatistix’s wife Impedimenta and Angina start arguing about who owns the village. A fight ensues and the inn is trashed as a result.

The next morning, a bruised Orthopaedix is ready to leave and return to Lutetia, his hometown, but Angina wants to have revenge on Impedimenta and makes a claim to the leadership of the village on behalf of her husband. Vitalstatistix, shocked, has Cacofonix obtain an opinion poll of the villagers and learns that aside from Geriatrix, the villagers don’t really care, until Vitalstatistix makes a few remarks that offends some of the villagers, making them go to the other side. A political race starts, and Geriatrix thinks Vitalstatistix is weak and tries to stand for Chief himself. Asterix becomes worried that internal conflict could benefit the Romans. Meanwhile, Tremensdelirius arrives at the village to visit Orthopaedix, explains that since their last meeting he unsuccessfully tried all kinds of trade and he wants his land back, since he is in fact not allowed to sell the land. When the family refuses, he draws his sword. Asterix arrives, and the two fight, with Asterix winning. Influenza is impressed, while Tremensdelirius, swearing revenge, goes to the Laudanum Roman camp and finds his old friend Egganlettus serving as an aide-de-camp under the local centurion (as he found retirement boring and signed up for another 20 years). With his support, Tremensdelirius makes an official request to the centurion to restore his land. The centurion is reluctant to face the Gauls, but the veterans threaten to report him to Caesar, and he agrees to prepare a military attack with the new weapons they have.

The following day, Influenza expresses her admiration to Asterix, making the jealous Obelix feel betrayed. Asterix attempts to warn everyone about Tremensdelirius, but his warning falls on deaf ears. Hence, Asterix decides to investigate and discovers that the Romans are preparing siege weapons. The Romans see him, but are afraid to attack, allowing him to retreat and escape (as he has no magic potion with him to fight against them). His escape gives the Romans the belief that the Gauls can no longer resist the Romans, and makes them more confident.

Asterix returns to the village and attempts to warn them, but everyone gathers to witness the public debate between Vitalstatistix and Orthopaedix, until it is interrupted by rocks launched from the Roman catapults. Vitalstatistix begs for Getafix to give them magic potion, but the druid refuses, too disgusted by the Gaulish in-fighting. When Vitalstatistix asks for the druid to give magic potion to his rival instead, Getafix finally agrees to help them. The villagers manage to defeat the Romans, with Orthopaedix himself confronting Tremensdelirius and smashing Caesar’s gift on Tremensdelirius’s head.

The Gauls are reconciled following their victory. A much more confident Orthopaedix befriends his former rival, and decides to withdraw his claim for leadership and return to Lutetia, despite Angina’s objections. Impedimenta and Angina also become friends. Obelix is saddened that Influenza will be leaving with her parents but is reconciled with Asterix. The village then hosts a banquet.

This was quite amusing. The Gaulish village being sold to a roman and then traded to an innkeeper and the shenanigans as said innkeeper tries to become chief of the village. And the Romans think they have everything in the bag and attack the village with various new ranged weapons.

So of course that unites the Gauls, even the erstwhile Innkeeper and they trounce the romans with their magic potion and the innkeeper goes back to the city where he and his family were originally from. And everybody has a happy ending.

Man, the Romans, much like the pirates, just can’t catch a break. Of course, if they’d left well enough alone and not tried to get greedy by attacking the gaul’s village, the village might have split. But just like every other time, a roman incursion unites the fractious dolts and they just wallop the romans. It’s funny in small doses 🙂

The stories are formulaic and as long as you can take that, it’s great. But after reading One Piece Vol 41 earlier this week, I needed something light and that didn’t meander. A formula story works very well in that regards and I suspect part of my I enjoyed this as much as I did was just because of that contrast. I don’t read in a vacuum and how I’m feeling at the time can affect things. Life can affect things, people can affect thing, other books can affect things. So I note what I think is affecting me and move on. And as Chief Vitalstatistix so expressively says in this edition “And anyone who doesn’t like it can shove off!”. That man has a great way with words 😉

★★★✬☆

Reviews for Asterix 1-21
Reviews for Asterix 22+

Friday, May 19, 2023

Asterix in Corsica (Asterix #20) ★★★☆☆

Title: Asterix in Corsica
Series: Asterix #20
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

From Wikipedia:

Unlike most editions of the series, the map that is shown before the story begins does not present Gaul and a close-up of the village with the four surrounding Roman camps. Instead the reader is shown a map of Corsica and a multitude of camps around the coastline.

The story begins with a banquet celebrating the anniversary of Vercingetorix’s victory at the Battle of Gergovia. As part of the celebrations, the indomitable Gauls always attack the local Roman camps; as a result, the Roman soldiers always go on “special manoeuvres” en masse to avoid the punch-up.

On this particular year various people who have helped the Gauls against the Romans in previous books have been invited along with their wives (this may be because this was the last story published in Pilote magazine, or because this was the 20th album). They include:

Petitsuix from Helvetia (Asterix in Switzerland),

Huevos Y Bacon and son Pepe from Hispania (Asterix in Spain),

Instantmix, the Gaulish restaurateur from Rome (Asterix the Gladiator),

Anticlimax from Britain alongside Dipsomaniax the tavern-keeper, McAnix the Scotsman, O’veroptimistix the Irishman, and Chief Mykingdomforanos (Asterix in Britain),

Drinklikafix of Massalia, Jellibabix of Lugdunum, Seniorservix from Gesocribatum (Asterix and the Banquet),

Winesanspirix and his wife from Gergovia (Asterix and the Chieftain’s Shield).

The Roman camp of Totorum, too, has visitors: three Roman soldiers escorting the Corsican leader Boneywasawarriorwayayix, exiled by Praetor Perfidius. He is left to spend the night in the Centurion’s tent, to its owner’s dismay. While the other camps are deserted, the Romans of Totorum have no option but to stay and be decimated by the Gauls and their friends, who discover Boneywasawarriorwayayix awakening from a long siesta (afternoon nap).

The proud Boneywasawarriorwayayix attends the Gaulish banquet and leaves the next day for Corsica with Asterix, Obelix and Dogmatix accompanying him. At Massalia, he hires a ship crewed by none other than the pirates. When the passengers go aboard it is too dark for the captain and the Gauls to recognise each other. But when, in the middle of the night, the pirates attempt to rob the Corsican and his three companions, they recognize the sleeping Gauls and the entire crew vacates the ship in a rowing boat.

The following morning, the passengers awake to find the ship is deserted. Boneywasawarriorwayayix then invites the Gauls to share a pungent Corsican cheese. Unaccustomed to the strong smell, they feel unwell, but then the Corsican realises that they are off the coast of his native island, abandons the cheese and excitedly swims ashore.

The arrival of the three men and dog is noticed by a Roman patrol. The Romans later investigate the ship but find nothing suspicious. As they leave, the pirates arrive to reclaim their vessel, only for a burning torch to ignite the Corsican cheese’s fumes, blowing up the ship.

A keen young Roman called Courtingdisastus captures the pirate captain and takes him to Praetor Perfidius in the Roman city of Aleria. From him, the Romans learn that Boneywasawarriorwayayix, a known revolutionary leader, has returned from exile. Perfidius appoints Courtingdisastus to lead a party assigned to recapture Boneywasawarriorwayayix. But in fact, Perfidius has few illusions that the mission will be successful and starts making his own plans to flee Corsica, leaving his men in the lurch and sailing away with all the loot he has purloined from the Corsicans.

Courtingdisastus and his men go to Boneywasawarriorwayayix’s village, but are faced by his second-in-command Carferrix, who intimidates them into fleeing. Meanwhile, the Corsican leader and the Gauls travel through the maquis to a rendezvous where several clan chieftains gather to plan their attack on Aleria to recover the wealth the Praetor has extracted from them.

The attack begins before Perfidius can make his escape. Boneywasawarriorwayayix then makes a proud and defiant speech stating that Corsica will never be ruled by an Emperor unless he is a Corsican himself.

After the victory over the Romans, a vendetta between the clans of Boneywasawarriorwayayix and Olabellamargaritix, fought over various but complicated age-old issues, is settled by the diplomatic Asterix (though, when the Gauls leave, there are strong hints that other Corsican chieftains will resume the feud with Olabellamargaritix even if Boneywasawarriorwayayix has called his off).

The Gauls return home with fond memories of their trip.

This was an amusing story with absolutely non-stop wordplays. I think the map at the beginning, showing Corsica and ALL the roman fortifications around it, says enough about the story.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ac8c0vf6qm5p52q/asterix20-1.jpg

★★★☆☆

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Friday, April 21, 2023

Asterix and the Soothsayer (Asterix #19) ★★★☆☆

Title: Asterix and the Soothsayer
Series: Asterix #19
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

From Asterix.fandom.com

One stormy day, the Gauls — with the exception of Getafix, who is at his annual druid meeting — are huddled in the chief’s hut, fearing for their lives. But then, a man enters the hut in a burst of lightning – it is a soothsayer, who promptly proceeds to see the future for our superstitious Gauls. He predicts that “when the storm is over, the weather will improve.” But not all are impressed; Asterix alone dares question the qualities of this soothsayer, who is in fact a fraud.

Although Asterix can see this, not everyone is convinced, most notably Impedimenta, the chief’s wife. Partly out of superstition and partly out of personal ambition, she convinces the soothsayer (known also by the name “Prolix”) to remain in official hiding near the village, where she and the other villagers may question him at will. The only two whom she will not permit into the forest are Asterix and Obelix. Obelix in particular has a grudge against the soothsayer, who has threatened to kill Dogmatix in order to examine his guts for predictions of the future.

When Obelix finally thwarts Impedimenta and enters the forest, he finds Prolix there and chases him up a tree. When he threatens to uproot it, Prolix puts him off by claiming to see a vision of a beautiful woman who loves warriors matching Obelix’ description. Obelix returns to the village and almost instantly falls for Mrs. Geriatrix.

Prolix meanwhile is arrested by a strictly rule-abiding Roman Optio (a senior officer). The Optio brings Prolix before the Centurion, who decides to make use of the imposter’s persuasive voice.

Back in the forest Impedimenta and Asterix have within moments of each other discovered the absence of the soothsayer, causing consternation among the villagers who were told by the soothsayer that the gods would put a curse on them if anything untowards happened to him. Being that Obelix has been beguiled by Prolix’s ironically accurate description of Mrs. Geriatrix (not mentioned by name), Asterix finds himself standing alone. Prolix returns at that moment, claiming dramatically that soon the air in the village will become polluted by a divine curse. Terrified, most of the villagers leave their home, to wait on a nearby island for the curse to run its course, as if it were a quarantined virus. Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix stay behind.

The Romans soon arrive to investigate the village, while the Gauls hide in the local undergrowth. Unknown to either, Getafix has completed his conference (which seems to be a facsimile of a twentieth-century scientific conference) and returned. Hearing of the situation, he concocts a witty plan by which to drive out the Romans and teach the villagers a lesson. Using a number of unidentified ingredients in his cauldron, the Druid literally raises such a stink that even the powerful Obelix is affected. The fumes spread to the village, expelling the Romans, Prolix, and Cacofonix the Bard who had sneaked back to find his lyre.

Prolix is baffled: the seeming fulfillment of his prediction has set him to wondering if he is becoming a real soothsayer. On the other hand, the appearance of the foul air has cemented the Centurion’s faith in his oracle. He sends word to Caesar that all of Gaul is now conquered (“All?” “All.”). But, like Crismus Bonus of Asterix the Gaul, he begins to desire the Imperial Throne for himself. To pass the time, therefore, he has the soothsayer tell him exaggerated stories of the luxuries emperors enjoy.

Meanwhile, Getafix joins the other villagers on the island to explain the Truth. Here we see a reference to the priestly role of the Druid, when Vitalstatistix begs Getafix to “appease the anger of the Gods, which has fallen upon our poor village.” To which Getafix replies “Nonsense!” and proceeds to demonstrate what is really going on.

Inspired by this, the villagers go home, while the Romans deal with their own problems. The Optio is himself confused, because even though the Centurion is convinced that Prolix is a genuine soothsayer, the Optio’s own observations tell him otherwise. Though upright and law-enforcing, he is not intellectual and finds himself thoroughly perplexed by the simplest of contradictions. Even his inferior officers regard him as an “idiot”.

In the village, trouble is still present. Impedimenta and her fellow women are not convinced that Prolix was a cheat, partly because he only foretold pleasant things for them, such as a business partnership between Vitalstatistix and Impedimenta’s brother Homeopathix, each of whom considers the other an arrogant dope.

Asterix has an idea; they might give the soothsayer a surprise, to prove that his predictions are not genuine. The surprise is quite simple: the Gaulish men and women will attack the Roman camp together. The plan is successful: the Gauls arrive at the camp and Prolix admits that he had no idea that they were coming. This convinces Impedimenta who beats the Centurion and the soothsayer with a rolling pin, causing her husband Vitalstatistix to look on her with an almost patronizing pride.

Returning to the village, the Gauls meet an envoy of Caesar’s who has come to check on the Centurion’s claim that the village is conquered. They beat him and his escort up.

The envoy, Bulbus Crocus, goes to the camp and faces the Centurion: “AND LOOK WHAT YOUR CONQUERED GAULS DID TO US, BY JUPITER!” He reduces the centurion to a common soldier, and, when the ex-centurion reflexively tries to give the Optio an order, the Optio rebukes him for his tone to a superior officer and orders him to sweep out the camp alone.

Prolix, who has been taking a lot of yelling from the now-ex Centurion over being a fraud, leaves the camp swearing to give up soothsaying at the risk of having the sky fall on his head, whereupon Rain-God, Taranis, sends down a thunderstorm.

The Gaulish village, however, is soon at peace, enjoying themselves for the present and not worrying about the future – with the exception of Cacofonix, who still dreams about being a famous singer.

Considering how the foolish the villagers act on a regular basis, it was pretty obvious the route this story was going to go. And it went exactly how I figured. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but when a story is predictable down to even the pirates getting sunk by the gauls in rowboats, well, it takes a bit of the fun out of things.

Part of the problem is that these books were originally written for children. The story lines thus would be all new to them and the problems I have wouldn’t be an issue for them at all. I don’t fault Goscinny and Uderzo for their story telling, I’m just disappointed because I wanted a fully mature story line and I’m never going to truly get that with an Asterix book. Oh well.

But passing that over, this was fun to read. The back and forth between the Centurion and his next in command about whether Prollix was a genuine soothsayer or a fraud was enough to make your head spin, but it was on the nose in terms of humor.

★★★☆☆

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Thursday, March 16, 2023

Asterix and the Laurel Wreath (Asterix #18) ★★★✬☆

Title: Asterix and the Laurel Wreath
Series: Asterix #18
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

From Wikipedia:

The story begins in Rome where Asterix and Obelix are talking, but flashes back to Lutetia, where Asterix, Obelix, Chief Vitalstatistix, and the chief’s wife Impedimenta visit Impedimenta’s brother, Homeopathix, a rich businessman who immediately shows off his wealth. At dinner, Vitalstatistix quickly becomes drunk and boasts that, as a Chief, he can obtain for Homeopathix something money cannot possibly buy, a stew seasoned with Julius Caesar’s laurel wreath, whereupon the equally drunk Obelix volunteers himself and Asterix to fetch the wreath.

In Rome, Asterix and Obelix see a man coming out of Caesar’s palace. Upon discovering that he is a kitchen slave there, they offer themselves to the slave trader Typhus, who supplies Caesar’s palace. When Typhus’ other slaves provoke the Gauls into a fight, the wealthy patrician, Osseus Humerus, is amused and offers to buy them; Asterix mistakes him for Caesar’s major-domo and completes the sale. The Gauls are placed under the supervision of Goldendelicius, Humerus’ chief slave. Goldendelicius expresses dislike of the two Gauls because they come from Typhus (a mark of distinction among slaves) and fears that they might usurp his office.

Realizing their mistake, Asterix and Obelix attempt to get Humerus to return them to Typhus. First, they cook a volatile stew, which accidentally cures Humerus’ heavy-drinking son Metatarsus of his constant hangovers. Next they disturb the sleeping family by making noise, which only inspires the family to throw an impromptu party. The next day, a tired Humerus sends the Gauls to Caesar’s palace to justify his absence to a secretary there. Goldendelicius seizes the opportunity to tell the palace’s guards that the Gauls intend to kill Caesar. As a result, Asterix and Obelix are thrown into the palace prison upon arrival, but they escape during the night and unsuccessfully search the palace for the laurel wreath. At daybreak, they return to their cell (to the confusion of the palace guards) and decide to find Caesar and seize the wreath from him.

The next morning, a lawyer comes to defend Asterix and Obelix in a show trial for the “attempt” on Caesar’s life. The lawyer takes for granted that they will be found guilty and thrown to the lions in the Circus Maximus. Asterix is encouraged when the lawyer says Caesar might attend the execution. During the trial, the prosecutor announces the same initial speech intended by the defense lawyer, prompting the latter to call for a suspension in proceedings. Anxious to be sentenced to the Circus, Asterix himself speaks for the prosecution, outlining all the “wrongdoings” committed by himself and Obelix. The whole audience, including Typhus and the Humerus family, is moved by this plea, and the Gauls are sentenced to death in the Circus. In the cells, they enjoy luxurious food funded by Typhus and Humerus. But, as they are about to enter the arena, Asterix and Obelix learn that Caesar is not present, having gone off to fight pirates. Therefore, the Gauls refuse to go into the arena until he returns, which results in the big cats in the arena eating each other, a mass riot of the audience, and everyone (including Asterix and Obelix and the last remaining lion) being evicted from the circus.

That night, Asterix and Obelix sleep at a doorway, where they are woken by brigands. They defeat the brigands, after which their chief, Habeascorpus, offers Asterix and Obelix shelter in return for their help in robberies. Asterix accepts, but attempts to warn the victim they are assigned, who turns out to be a drunken Metatarsus. Refusing to attack an innocent, Asterix and Obelix vanquish the bandits again. From Metatarsus, the two Gauls learn that Goldendelicius has been appointed as Caesar’s personal slave, and that Caesar himself is due to hold a triumph for his victory over the pirates. Asterix and Obelix corner Goldendelicius in a tavern and coerce him into exchanging Caesar’s laurel wreath for one of parsley. The next day, during the triumph, Goldendelicius nervously holds the parsley wreath over Caesar’s head. Caesar does not acknowledge the switch, but secretly “feels like a piece of fish”, which baffles him.

Upon Asterix and Obelix’s return, Homeopathix arrives in his brother-in-law’s village in order to eat the stew containing Caesar’s laurel wreath, and Vitalstatistix states that a wealthy man like him would never eat such a meal in his own house. Homeopathix “agrees” by sarcastically pointing out that it is overcooked and of poor quality, which provokes Vitalstatistix to strike him senseless. The album ends with the note that, with Asterix’s cure for drunkenness now available to the Romans, they initiate a series of ever-increasing parties that result in the collapse of the empire.

Chief Vitalstatistix doesn’t get along with his brother-in-law and after getting drunk, promises him a stew made with the laurels of Caesar’s wreath. So of course our two heroes have to do the dirty work.

Despite their best efforts at stealing the wreath, of being made slaves, of getting thrown in the arena, they just can’t seem to catch a break and find the wreath. Obelix gets drunk several times and man, he’s a tough drunk. Asterix isn’t much better and talks like an idiot. Their misadventures in trying to get the wreath are pretty funny. The poor pirates are shown being captured by Caesar and paraded through Rome. They just can’t catch a break, ever.

I thought Goscinny and Urderzo did a good job of coming up with creative ways for the duo to fail each time until the very last. And if I hadn’t seen the page numbers, I would have waited for the final attempt to fail too. But they succeed and thus ends the story.

★★★✬☆

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Thursday, February 16, 2023

Mansions of the Gods (Asterix #17) ★★★✬☆

Title: Mansions of the Gods
Series: Asterix #17
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

Caesar has the VERY clever idea of surrounding the Gaul’s village with luxury roman apartments and thus subsuming the Gauls culturally. He sends his best architect and a whole galley of slaves (former pirates) to cut down the forest and build the Mansions of the Gods.

Of course, the problem is that the Gauls can regrow trees overnight, beat the stuffing out of the roman soldiers AND give magic potion to the slaves. Not even this though is enough to overcome Caesar’s plans and a mansion is built and tenanted (even if it’s that or the circus maximus!). When Cacofonix the bard empties the building of regular tenants, the soldiers move in and then the Gaul’s attack en masse and destroy the building. The architect gives up and the gauls replant the forest over the ruins.

I thought the idea was quite a workable one (culturally subsuming a small group of hold outs) but it can take generations. The Amish are a good example. They have held out (and continue to do so) against modern civilization, but as a group they are slowly shrinking and are being forced to make changes simply to continue to exist.

Goscinny and Urderzo make this a quick, funny event and everything turns out ok for the Gauls this time, but my cynical adult self realizes that what was proposed here is what would eventually happen if this were real. Since it is NOT real however, I can laugh at Obelix accidentally planting a magic acorn in the middle of Asterix’s house and them all eating dinner 100 feet up in the air 😀

★★★✬☆

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Thursday, December 22, 2022

Asterix in Switzerland (Asterix #16) ★★★☆☆

Title: Asterix in Switzerland
Series: Asterix #16
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

The governor of Gaul is short changing the books and so Caesar sends an accountant to find out what’s what. The governor poisons the accountant who then asks Getafix for help. The only cure is a small flower found in the mountains of Helvetia (Switzerland), so of course off Asterix and Obelix go.

Goscinny and Uderzo (the artists) have a great time skewering the Swiss for being neat freaks who eat nothing but cheese fondues. It was quite amusing. While the pirates aren’t given any actual panel time, they are mentioned by the romans and appear to have ended up sinking their own ship, haahahahaa.

I might have pointed this out before, but several times there are a mix of panel sizes and it’s not obvious which direction you are supposed to read them in, so the authors kindly inserted big black arrows to show where you were supposed to go next. Why can’t American comics do that? It was super helpful and done in such a way that the arrows didn’t detract from the panels at all. It was done with skill. Today’s artists could take a lesson, and should.

I am giving this 3stars instead of 3.5 though, because at the beginning of the story the Chief fires his shield bearers and uses Asterix and Obelix and it’s strictly used to make a lot of bad puns and word plays. If that’s your kind of thing, then you’ll probably laugh your head off. I just groaned.

★★★☆☆

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Thursday, November 17, 2022

Asterix and the Roman Agent (Asterix #15) ★★★✬☆

Title: Asterix and the Roman Agent
Series: Asterix #15
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

Julius Caesar is sick of the Gaulish village that keeps defying but has no idea how to deal with it. One of his friends suggests that they try to split up the unity of the village by using an acquaintance. This roman agent divides and conquers wherever he goes and even the Gauls fall prey to his machinations. As do the Romans and even the Pirates! Thankfully Getafix, Asterix and Obelix figure out what is going on and put a stop to it. A huge battle ensues, thus making the Gauls happy and they live happily ever after!

Wasn’t sure how this was going to go. I was impressed with how the creators used green speech bubbles to show when people were talking under the influence of the roman agent. There was also a panel where they totally reference themselves (last panel on the bottom right) and it just made me grin.

Overall, another solid entry in the Asterix series.

★★★✬☆

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Thursday, October 20, 2022

Asterix in Spain (Asterix #14) ★★★☆☆

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Title: Asterix in Spain
Series: Asterix #14
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

★★★☆☆

Thursday, September 22, 2022

Asterix and the Cauldron (Asterix #13) ★★★☆☆

Title: Asterix and the Cauldron
Series: Asterix #13
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org

The story introduces Chief Whosemoralsarelastix, the chief of a neighboring Gaulish village: a miser who often does business with the Romans. When the Romans levy new taxes, Whosemoralsarelastix asks the people of Asterix’s village to guard a cauldron full of sestertii, ostensibly to keep the money away from the imminent visit of the Roman tax collectors. Despite Asterix keeping watch, the cauldron is stolen during the night, whereupon the strict laws of the Gauls demand that Asterix be banished until he has atoned for his negligence. Obelix immediately “banishes” himself to accompany Asterix, until they find money to refill the cauldron and repay Whosemoralsarelastix.

Asterix and Obelix engage in many futile attempts to earn back the money: questioning the Romans at Compendium (only to start a riot when the Romans know nothing about the theft), attacking the pirates in the belief that they stole the money (after the pirates have converted their ship into a restaurant), selling boars (at a ridiculously low price), prize fighting (only to win worthless statuettes), acting (foiled when Obelix insults the audience and ruins the company), gambling on a chariot race (only to lose their money on false information), and even trying to rob a bank (which is empty of money after the recent tax increases). With little else to gain or lose, they take the cauldron back to Whosemoralsarelastix’s village, Asterix hoping to save the village’s honour by clarifying that he alone is responsible for the loss. En route they rob a Roman tax collector of sufficient money to fill the cauldron; and Asterix catches an onion-like scent on the coins, recalling that the cauldron had previously been used for cooking onion soup, and thus proving that these are the very coins seized from Asterix’s care.

At Whosemoralsarelastix’s village, on a high cliff at the coast, Asterix confronts Whosemoralsarelastix with the onion-smelling money, having correctly guessed that Whosemoralsarelastix stole back his own money in the hope that Asterix, to repay the supposed debt, would reimburse him. Here, Asterix and Whosemoralsarelastix duel with their swords (Asterix having exhausted the magic potion granting him superior strength), while Obelix repels Whosemoralsarelastix’s followers. When Whosemoralsarelastix wins the duel and prepares to kill Asterix, a section of the cliff beneath his feet suddenly gives way, and the cauldron falls toward the ocean while Whosemoralsarelastix hangs above. Asterix then rescues Whosemoralsarelastix and re-unites with Obelix, with whom he returns home.

The money itself falls into the ship and possession of the pirates. At Asterix’s village, a celebration is held for the return of the two heroes and the recovery of their honour.

My Thoughts:

Yeah, as soon as the other chieftan walked into the village, it was obvious he was a schemer, scraper and general ne’erdowell. So of course he stole his own money and tricked Asterix into returning even more money to him. Losing it all at the end was about the worst punishment he could get.

And the pirates get a stroke of good luck for once! The first time in 13 stories 😀 They deserved it, hahahahaa.

Otherwise this was the funny adventures of Asterix and Obelix trying to earn money, or in one case steal it from a bank, and failing absolutely miserably. Their strengths and weaknesses are on full display and it’s pretty amusing.

Thursday, August 18, 2022

Asterix at the Olympic Games (Asterix #12) ★★★✬☆

Title: Asterix at the Olympic Games
Series: Asterix #12
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org

At the Roman camp of Aquarium near the Gauls’ village, Gluteus Maximus, an athletic Roman legionary, is chosen as one of Rome’s representatives for the upcoming Olympic Games in Greece. Gaius Veriambitius, his centurion, hopes to share in the glory of Olympic victory. While training in the forest, Gluteus Maximus encounters Asterix and Obelix, who unintentionally outdo him at running, then javelin and boxing, thanks to the power of the magic potion. Demoralised, he consigns himself to sweeping the Roman camp instead of training. When Veriambitius asks Vitalstatistix that Gluteus Maximus be left alone, Vitalstatistix decides the Gauls should enter the Olympic Games as well. Veriambitius argues they cannot, as Romans are the only non-Greeks allowed, but Asterix rationalizes that as Gaul is part of the Roman Empire, they are technically Romans (despite their resistance to Roman rule), making them a Gallo-Roman team, demoralising the centurion and his legionary further. The Gauls hold trials that prove inconclusive as everyone is dosed with the magic potion and thus do everything at the same top speed and strength. Eventually, they decide to register only Asterix and Obelix as competitors.

The entire (male) population of the village travels to Olympia (aboard a galley where they have to do the rowing), where Asterix and Obelix register as athletes (with Getafix as their coach) and the others all enjoy a holiday. When Gluteus Maximus and Veriambitius discover that the Gauls have come to compete, they are left in despair (Vitalstatistix telling them “We’re not stopping you entering, it’s just that we’re going to win”), and this despair spreads among all the Roman athletes. They give up training and spend all their time having elaborate parties, washing their uniforms and sweeping the whole area. The scent from their feasts eventually causes the Greek competitors to complain about their own healthy food. Alarmed, the Greeks send a judge to warn the Romans that even if they think drinking will somehow make them better athletes, it will be held against them as all artificial stimulants are forbidden, prompting Veriambitius to tell him about the Gauls’ magic potion. The Gauls are dejected by the news that victory is not as certain as they had expected, but Asterix decides to compete anyway. Obelix, being permanently affected by the potion, now cannot compete and anyway doesn’t quite understand what’s going on – he thinks he’s been dismissed just because he fell into a cauldron and wonders if telling the officials he fell into a regular pot or amphora will change anything.

At the games, Asterix and the Roman athletes are beaten at every turn by the Greeks, causing a dilemma to the Olympic officials. Although their victories prove what they’ve believed all along (that Romans are decadent barbarians and the Greeks are perfect beings), too much success will reflect badly on the country’s reputation, so they announce a special race for just Romans. After the announcement, Asterix and Getafix start talking, very loudly, about a cauldron of magic potion left in an unguarded shed. Eager to win, the other Roman athletes steal the potion that night.

The race begins, and the Roman athletes easily beat Asterix – they all overtake him and cross the finish line simultaneously. After the race, Getafix accuses them of having used magic potion and, when the Romans deny the accusation, Asterix sticks his tongue out at them. When the Romans return the gesture, it is revealed that Getafix had added an extra ingredient to this particular batch of potion and the Romans now have blue tongues from drinking it. They are disqualified, and Asterix is declared the winner.

The Gauls return home for their traditional banquet. Getafix notices Asterix hasn’t brought his Palm of Victory home. Asterix explains he gave it to someone who needed it more: Gluteus Maximus. Gluteus’ apparent victory is shown to have greatly pleased Julius Caesar, who promotes Maximus to centurion and Veriambitius to tribune.

My Thoughts:

Ok, so Goscinny and Uderzo get cute here and put the Gauls in a situation where they can’t use the potion but end up coming out on top anyway. And then to top things off Asterix gives the golden laurel to the romans anyway.

I am guessing this was written and published during some year the Olympics were going on, but I didn’t care enough to go look up any data. I’ve never cared for the Olympics and nothing over the last 20 years has changed my mind. So an Asterix story about them was amusing but nothing more.

In most of these stories there is at least one page that just cracks me up. This time it is Getafix the druid telling Obelix what a well balanced diet is. It really gave this story that half-star bump up:

Thursday, July 21, 2022

Asterix & the Chieftain's Shield (Asterix #11) ★★★☆☆

Title: Asterix & the Chieftain’s Shield
Series: Asterix #11
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org

The book begins with Vercingetorix conceding defeat to Julius Caesar. His surrendered weapons remain at Caesar’s chair for several hours, until a Roman archer steals Vercingetorix’s famous shield, which he loses in a game of dice to another legionary, who then loses it to a drunken centurion, in return for the centurion not reporting him for a military offence. The centurion himself uses the shield to pay for a jar of wine at a nearby Gaulish inn; later, the shield is given by the innkeeper to a survivor of the Battle of Alesia.

Following this prologue, Chief Vitalstatistix is made helpless by a sore liver, a consequence of overeating and drinking at his last banquet. Having demonstrated this, and temporarily eased the chief’s pain, the druid Getafix sends Vitalstatistix to a hydrotherapeutic center in Arverne to be cured, with Asterix and Obelix (and Dogmatix) as his escort. On the way, they stop at various inns, where the heavy food revives the chief’s sickness. At Arverne, the Gauls initially remain together; but because Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix are in no need of special diets, they feast on wild boar and beer while everyone else eats “boiled vegetables”. When other patients complain, Vitalstatistix sends Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix to Gergovia.

Along the way, the Gauls are offended by Roman envoy Noxius Vapus, and vanquish his guards. In the aftermath, Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix befriend the local tavern-keeper Winesanspirix, who retains them thereafter as guests. When Noxius Vapus makes his report to Caesar in Rome, Caesar plans a triumph on Vercingetorix’s shield to “show them who’s boss”, and orders Vapus to search Arverne for it. When the initial investigations fail, the Romans send a spy, Legionary Pusillanimus; but on drinking too much wine at Winesanspirix’s tavern, the latter discloses Caesar’s plan and reveals his own knowledge of the shield’s history, whereupon Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix set off in search of the shield themselves. To that end, they interrogate the archer, Lucius Circumbendibus, who now owns a wheel manufacturing business; the second legionary, Marcus Carniverus, who worked at a health resort before opening a restaurant; and the drunken Centurion Crapulus. Vapus and his men in turn search in vain for both the shield and Asterix and Obelix, as a running gag dirtying themselves with charcoal dust while searching the coal heaps belonging to Winesanspirix and their neighbors.

The search eventually leads the two Gauls back to Winesanspirix, to whom Crapulus had given the shield in the prologue. Upon the protagonists’ reunion with him, Winesanspirix confesses having given the shield to a dispirited Gaulish warrior, who is thereupon identified with the arrival of a newly cured and much slimmer Vitalstatistix. Vitalstatistix reveals he had the shield the whole time and it is the very one he is always carried upon. Upon Caesar’s arrival at Gergovia, Asterix and the locals organize a triumph in which Vitalstatistix is carried on Vercingetorix’s shield. Caesar then deports Vapus and his troops to Numidia, and Caesar promotes Centurion Crapulus to command of the garrison of Gergovia, and Legionary Pusillanimus to Centurion, on the grounds that they are the only “clean” legionaries present (despite both being visibly drunk). The Gauls return to their village (Vitalstatistix regaining his customary weight at the inns visited earlier in the story) to celebrate; but Vitalstatistix is forced into abstinence from the latter by his wife Impedimenta.

My Thoughts:

Hmm, this one was hard to get enthused about. The word plays seemed even worse than normal (or I just might be reaching the end of what I’ll accept anymore), the plot was utter nonsense (not bonkers funny, but just nonsense) and no pirates were sunk.

This felt very dated, ie going to a health farm to lose weight. This was originally done in ’68 and that kind of thing was way more prevalent then. It would have been like if Asterix and Obelix had made jokes about 8track tapes or something. It didn’t help that the Chief was pretty much forced to do this by his wife and that the Druid wouldn’t keep fixing him up. He was a middle aged man trying to still act like a 20 year old and it hit home, and not in a nice comfy way either!

With all of that complaining, this was still a good riotous story. Julius Caesaer wants a shield to hold a Triumph with and Asterix and Obelix have to find the shield first to prevent that from happening. So of course their Chief has the shield all along, sigh. While no pirates were sunk, plenty of romans were biffed and bammed and ol Julius Caesar himself shows up only to slink away when the boys parade their chief Vitalstatistix on the shield.

I was amused the whole time but just barely and if I feel this same way for the next book, I’m going to take it as a sign that I need to take a break. There can be too much of a good thing and my refined literary palate can only take so much cleansing after all.