Showing posts with label comics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comics. Show all posts

Friday, June 09, 2023

Sister’s City (Groo the Wanderer #18) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Sister’s City
Series: Groo the Wanderer #18
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K




From Bookstooge.blog

Groo has a sister who is Queen of a city. Said city is about to be attacked and so Grooella summons Groo to her aid. As Groo travels to the city he has many fond memories of his time growing up with Grooella. Of course, in the process of “helping” his sister, he allows the city to be taken over.




Man, Groo was just as much of a spaz, bad luck charm and general el stupido as a kid as he is now. Every time he tried to do something nice for his sister he ended up destroying something of hers. Obviously, his sister never learned HER lesson either, because why else would she try to get his help?

And as soon as I heard it, I knew Groo was going to mess things up. So the castle being taken over by the enemies was no surprise. What did surprise me is that apparently we are going to be treated to our first ever multi-issue Groo story! The next issue is going to deal with Grooella trying to take back her castle. I can’t even imagine how things are going to go wrong in that, hahahahaah!

The ending page was a perfect wrapup of the relationship between Groo and Grooella.



★★★✬☆



Friday, June 02, 2023

Earth and Sky (Bone #21) ★★✬☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Earth and Sky
Series: Bone #21
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 1K




From Boneville.fandom.com

The Two Stupid Rat Creatures bicker over whether to bake Fone Bone, Thorn, and Gran'ma Ben in a quiche, or make stew from their bones. They are interrupted by Gran'ma Ben, attacking them with her sword. They retreat, and Gran'ma gives Thorn her sword, which agitates the rat creatures. Gran'ma suggests that Thorn may be close to The Turning. She interrogates one of the Two Stupid Rat Creatures, who confesses that they have been ordered to evacuate the valley, but is interrupted by Kingdok, who knocks out Thorn and Fone Bone, and attacks Gran'ma Ben. Fone Bone comes to, and calls for the Dragon's help.

Smiley hears Fone Bone's faint calling, but Phoney has another problem - the customers are nursing their beers. The pair suggest various possibilities, and Smiley mentions the Midsummer's Day Picnic, which Lucius kept secret from Phoney. Smiley and Wendell both hear Fone Bone calling, and a search party goes out to find them in the woods. Wendell and Euclid find blood all over the ground and trees.

Kingdok continues to throw Gran'ma Ben through the woods, hitting her against a tree and discussing how much he hates the Flat-Landers. As he is about to kill her, Thorn ambushes Kingdok and slices off his arm with Gran'ma's sword. He suffers an attack of the Gitchy Feeling, and hallucinates Gran'ma and thorn as queen and princess respectively. He cries out, and the Two Stupid Rat Creatures escort him off into the night. Fone Bone finds Gran'ma Ben and Thorn, and dress Gran'ma's wounds as she warns Thorn that the Lord of the Locusts is seeking her.




Smith is an absolute MASTER at dragging things out, not telling the readers anything substantive and recycling whole pages of art.

With that being said, I am done with reading Bone issue by issue. I thought I could tough it out until issue #27, but this issue has shown me that I have reached my limit. Starting next month, I am going to be reading the omnibus versions which collect 7-10 issues in each one. I’ll be reading The Dragonslayer in July, which collects issues 20-27. I don’t mind re-reading 2 issues, as it won’t matter.

I am just stunned that Smith has defeated me this way. What boggles my mind even more is how he got through the whole series without the fans simply giving up on him. What kind of person does it take to hold on to a series like this and make it succeed? What kind of, waaaaaaaait for it, BONE HEAD puts up with deliberate shenanigans like this?

★★✬☆☆


Friday, May 26, 2023

Web of Spiderman Annual #1 ★★✬☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Web of Spiderman Annual #1
Writer: Ann Nocenti
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 37
Words: 3K





From Marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Web_of_Spider-Man_Annual_Vol_1_1

Spotting a broken window outside of a jewelry store, Spider-Man swings inside to stop a robbery. Inside, much to his surprise, Spider-Man discovers that the robbery is being committed by a number of small humanoid robots. Chasing after the machines, Spider-Man watches as they begin to combine into a single large robot. When the masked hero tries to stop it, the robot begins to emit a high pitched noise that makes it hard for Spider-Man to concentrate. Through a force of will, Spider-Man is able to snare the robot with a web-line and the pull the robot to the ground. However, this only makes it worse, as the robot begins to flail around. The machine then rights itself, and with the sonic attack taking its toll on Spider-Man, the robot ropes him out and sprays him with knock out gas before fleeing the scene. Spider-Man manages to fight off the effects of the gas and breaks free from his bonds, and is able to sneak up on the robot and knock it out with a single punch. Recovering from the effects of the gas, Spider-Man recovers the robot's severed head as a souvenir. As he leaves, the wall-crawler blames himself for not taking pictures of the battle as he could have sold them to the Daily Bugle. Examining the robot's head, Spider-Man is impressed by its design and it reminds him of his of his days as a high school student. He then begins to chastise himself for allowing his identity as Spider-Man has been taking more priority to that of Peter Parker.


Elsewhere in the city, a young boy named Max is throwing out old sports equipment and toys into a nearby dumpster. A task made more difficult because of his leg braces and that his hands begin to cramp up. He suddenly hears a bunch of noise behind him, and when he turns around, Max discovers that some of his classmates have tied tin-cans to his legs. The kids chase Max, forcing him to run for it. When the intelligent child hurls insults at the other kids. Unable to understand Max's vocabulary they threaten to beat him up, but he manages to flee the scene and get back home. Inside, Max has an advanced workshop where he conducts his experiments. Turning on his computers, it activates a robot that Max called "Future Max". Max tells his robotic invention that his nervous system is slowly failing him, Max tells Future Max that he will eventually use mechanical parts to replace his own nervous system. Suddenly there is a tapping noise that comes from a brick wall. Max rushes to it, it is the girl who lives next door named Beatrice. He tells her about his day, making up a story about playing ball with his friends. Unaware of who Max really is, she hopes he wasn't playing with the local bullies who she saw bullying a handicapped child. Beatrice then shows Max a surprise by pushing out one of the bricks that she chiseled loose so they can hold hands together. The idea of Beatrice learning the truth about him frightens Max. When she asks him to touch her hand, Max tries but his hands cramp up again and he accidentally hurts her. He apologizes but convinces her that he needs wants to keep the mystery of their friendship. Beatrice can't understand it, but Max assures her that they can finally meet soon, but has to get back to work on his science fair project. It's then that Max's combining robots return home, and as he goes to work on repairing the damaged machine, he puts aside a letter from Reed Richards, declining his request for nerve restoration research due to time constraints.


The next day, a street hustler named Alexis Sharp decides to play a small con by offering to walk an elderly woman across the street in order to pick her pockets. Unfortunately, the plan backfires when her pet poodle bites Alexis' finger, forcing him to punt the dog across the street and flee. Checking out the newspaper, he finds an article about an upcoming science fair and decides to use his con-man skills to find an inventive child with a wealthy family to bilk on false promises of marketing their child's invention. Later, at the science fair, Max is setting up his science fair project. He crosses paths with his intellectual rival, Chester, who has assistants to help him set up his own project. However, these assistants are more interested in playing video games and eventually abandon Chester, leaving him to set up alone. Also present is Peter Parker, who is impressed with the imagination and ingenuity the children have put on display. Peter is impressed by Max's invention, a device that increases the strength of your grip. Peter introduces himself to Max, who is excited to meet Parker, as he knows that Peter used to attend the same school and won his share of science fairs. As they begin talking about Max's invention, the boy is happy to finally speak with someone who understands him. Peter offers to try and convince his editor at the Daily Bugle to do an article on Max and his inventions. Max is briefly interested but soon becomes engrossed in his work.


No sooner is Peter gone, Alexis Sharp approaches Max's display and is impressed by what he sees. Trying to convince the boy that he is an agent, Max declines his representation. Sharp isn't ready to give up and spots a love letter to Beatrice and another from Reed Richards that gives him an idea on how to manipulate the boy to suit his needs. Alexis then tells the boy that he is a colleague of Reed Richards, and that he works with people on an exchange basis. He convinces Max to build an exoskeleton that Alexis can wear to prove that his invention works. This finally gets through to the boy and he accepts Sharp's card. Later that evening, Max is working on his exoskeleton, having to cannibalize Future Max in order to construct it. Max hopes that Reed Richards is impressed with is invention and agrees to cure him so he can finally reveal himself to Beatrice. As he works, Max accidentally bumps a water tank, spilling water on his mechanical arm brace. This causes a jolt of electricity that Beatrice hears from the other side of the wall. Beatrice asks Max if he is okay, and suggests that they meet up the following day. Max tells her he can't for now, telling her to trust in their love for each other.


Meanwhile, Spider-Man returns home to his apartment and discovers that a local stray cat has managed to get into his apartment again. As it rubs up against the severed robot head, it suddenly calatters to life. Peter examines it more closely and realizes that it is build using the same principals as Max's grip enhancer at the science fair. Putting on his mask, Spider-Man decides to make a social call to young Max. At that moment, Max is putting the final the final touches on the exoskeleton for Alexis Sharp, who helped fund the construction by calling in some underworld markers. As Alexis begins to test out the suit, Max begins to become suspicious of Sharp's credentials. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Max goes to answer it. It turns out to be Spider-Man who has come to talk to the youth. Seeing the robot head, Max tries to explain his situation. Hearing about Sharp's alleged relationship with Reed Richards, Spider-Man asks Sharpe if he had heard about what happened with Richards' daughter. This is a trick, as Reed doesn't have a daughter, and Spider-Man catches him in a lie.[Continuity 1] Realizing the jig is up, Alexis Sharp tries to escape in the suit.


Spider-Man follows after him, and Sharp decides to fight back. Seeing that the battle suit is heavily armed, Spider-Man lures Alexis to an area that is scheduled for demolition. With no innocent people around, allowing the pair to cut loose. Down below, Max arrives and attempts to use a device to deactivate the armor, but it short circuits. An officer arrives on the scene and gets the boy to safety as Spider-Man and Sharp fight on. As the battle rages on, Max manages to slip by the police and get close enough to Spider-Man to tell him about the exoskeleton's vulnerability to water. Spider-Man tells Max to get to cover and then uses this knowledge to lure Sharp to a nearby water tower. Knocking the crook into the water shorts out his armor, leaving him immobilized. Spider-Man then webs up Sharp and leaves him hanging for the police. The next day, Peter Parker arrives at Max's house to take photos of him for the Daily Bugle article. Max tells him that he can't take the photos as he has a date with Beatrice. Admitting that he is nervous, Peter reminds him that he helped Spider-Man that he is more brave than he thinks. Sure enough, when Max goes to visit Beatrice, they hit it off immediately.




Oh goodness. This was supposed to be a double sized issue, which means 48 pages at a minimum. However, once all the ads are removed, it was a measly 37 pages.

It is basically a one shot story about a smart kid with some sort of degenerative nerve disease being tricked into building a suit of armor for some insane guy who quotes movies (I’m not even going to say anything because I already know what I think of movies in general) and Spiderman fighting the badguy and the kid going on a date with the girl next door.

Let’s discuss that boy/girl love interest thing, shall we? The kid is in highschool. He talks to this girl, who lives in the apartment right next door, through a brick wall, a brick wall that is one brick thick. But they have never seen each other. Ever. Never ever never ever. Not even when going to school or coming or going out of the apartment building. So when they finally have their date, she invites him inside her apartment for dinner. I realize this was 1985, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t customary for single women living on their own to invite underage boys into their apartments.

And speaking of apartments. This kid has an entire laboratory in the basement. Now, maybe he’s living in some sort of town house and not an apartment building. But his single mom is raising him and he’s got a degenerative nerve/muscle disease. But he builds an Iron Man suit from egg beaters and junk material (no, seriously, Spiderman sees an eggbeater and comments on it), with sonic guns AND mini-missiles AND a machine gun. In his basement. This isn’t suspending reality, but pure wish fulfillment. I could see my 14year old self eating this up and absolutely loving it. But now, it’s beyond ridiculous. I just laughed and rolled my eyes.

Dave and I are going to be taking a break from this comic series for a couple of months. Dave because of being busy at work and me because I really need to evaluate if I want to actually read any more. The story, and hence the writer, is what separates the good from the bad and ol’ Ann Nocenti didn’t appear to be up to the job on this issue. So this will be the last Web of Spiderman review for at least a couple of months.

Now, I know that news is going to devastate you all. I can only imagine the turmoil, angst and old fashioned pain you will suffer because of this. And because I am a responsible blogger, I just want to reassure you all, THAT I WILL BE LAUGHING IN GLEE EVERY SINGLE SECOND THAT YOU ARE IN MISERY. Then I will pat you on the shoulder and say something banal like “there, there, it’s ok”. That makes it all ok. 

Here's Dawie's take on this:
Dawie's Review of Web of Spiderman Annual #1

★★✬☆☆

Friday, May 19, 2023

Asterix in Corsica (Asterix #20) ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Asterix in Corsica
Series: Asterix #20
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K


From Wikipedia:


Unlike most editions of the series, the map that is shown before the story begins does not present Gaul and a close-up of the village with the four surrounding Roman camps. Instead the reader is shown a map of Corsica and a multitude of camps around the coastline.


The story begins with a banquet celebrating the anniversary of Vercingetorix's victory at the Battle of Gergovia. As part of the celebrations, the indomitable Gauls always attack the local Roman camps; as a result, the Roman soldiers always go on "special manoeuvres" en masse to avoid the punch-up.


On this particular year various people who have helped the Gauls against the Romans in previous books have been invited along with their wives (this may be because this was the last story published in Pilote magazine, or because this was the 20th album). They include:


Petitsuix from Helvetia (Asterix in Switzerland),

Huevos Y Bacon and son Pepe from Hispania (Asterix in Spain),

Instantmix, the Gaulish restaurateur from Rome (Asterix the Gladiator),

Anticlimax from Britain alongside Dipsomaniax the tavern-keeper, McAnix the Scotsman, O'veroptimistix the Irishman, and Chief Mykingdomforanos (Asterix in Britain),

Drinklikafix of Massalia, Jellibabix of Lugdunum, Seniorservix from Gesocribatum (Asterix and the Banquet),

Winesanspirix and his wife from Gergovia (Asterix and the Chieftain's Shield).

The Roman camp of Totorum, too, has visitors: three Roman soldiers escorting the Corsican leader Boneywasawarriorwayayix, exiled by Praetor Perfidius. He is left to spend the night in the Centurion's tent, to its owner's dismay. While the other camps are deserted, the Romans of Totorum have no option but to stay and be decimated by the Gauls and their friends, who discover Boneywasawarriorwayayix awakening from a long siesta (afternoon nap).


The proud Boneywasawarriorwayayix attends the Gaulish banquet and leaves the next day for Corsica with Asterix, Obelix and Dogmatix accompanying him. At Massalia, he hires a ship crewed by none other than the pirates. When the passengers go aboard it is too dark for the captain and the Gauls to recognise each other. But when, in the middle of the night, the pirates attempt to rob the Corsican and his three companions, they recognize the sleeping Gauls and the entire crew vacates the ship in a rowing boat.


The following morning, the passengers awake to find the ship is deserted. Boneywasawarriorwayayix then invites the Gauls to share a pungent Corsican cheese. Unaccustomed to the strong smell, they feel unwell, but then the Corsican realises that they are off the coast of his native island, abandons the cheese and excitedly swims ashore.


The arrival of the three men and dog is noticed by a Roman patrol. The Romans later investigate the ship but find nothing suspicious. As they leave, the pirates arrive to reclaim their vessel, only for a burning torch to ignite the Corsican cheese's fumes, blowing up the ship.


A keen young Roman called Courtingdisastus captures the pirate captain and takes him to Praetor Perfidius in the Roman city of Aleria. From him, the Romans learn that Boneywasawarriorwayayix, a known revolutionary leader, has returned from exile. Perfidius appoints Courtingdisastus to lead a party assigned to recapture Boneywasawarriorwayayix. But in fact, Perfidius has few illusions that the mission will be successful and starts making his own plans to flee Corsica, leaving his men in the lurch and sailing away with all the loot he has purloined from the Corsicans.


Courtingdisastus and his men go to Boneywasawarriorwayayix's village, but are faced by his second-in-command Carferrix, who intimidates them into fleeing. Meanwhile, the Corsican leader and the Gauls travel through the maquis to a rendezvous where several clan chieftains gather to plan their attack on Aleria to recover the wealth the Praetor has extracted from them.


The attack begins before Perfidius can make his escape. Boneywasawarriorwayayix then makes a proud and defiant speech stating that Corsica will never be ruled by an Emperor unless he is a Corsican himself.


After the victory over the Romans, a vendetta between the clans of Boneywasawarriorwayayix and Olabellamargaritix, fought over various but complicated age-old issues, is settled by the diplomatic Asterix (though, when the Gauls leave, there are strong hints that other Corsican chieftains will resume the feud with Olabellamargaritix even if Boneywasawarriorwayayix has called his off).

The Gauls return home with fond memories of their trip.



This was an amusing story with absolutely non-stop wordplays. I think the map at the beginning, showing Corsica and ALL the roman fortifications around it, says enough about the story.

★★★☆☆

Friday, May 12, 2023

Pescatel (The Hatchery) (Groo the Wanderer #17) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Pescatel (The Hatchery)
Series: Groo the Wanderer #17
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K



From Bookstooge.blog

Groo is lost, starving and drowning. He eventually makes it to land, finds a village surrounded by a lake filled with man eating fish and gets a job at the village being their war chief. He is sent out to destroy the villagers’ enemies. Only, being Groo, he attacks their allies and makes them their enemies. When a second ally village is called to make peace, Groo attacks them as well thinking they are the enemies. Now everybody is an enemy of the village.

But thanks to the man eating fish, the village is safe. Until Groo releases the only fish that eats the man eating fish. The villagers finally kick Groo out and he runs into the villagers enemies. And proceeds to tell them everything.




When I read the previous Groo comic, Wakizashi mentioned that #17 was the first comic he had bought with his own money and was very nostalgic about it. So I figured I’d give him a shout out because things like that are important. Why you ask? Because I said so, that’s why! And if you disagree, you can go sit in the corner without dinner and think about what a miserable wretch you are to even contemplate disagreeing with me. Wakizashi knows better and that’s why he is eating a delicious fish dinner, just like Groo.

Groo is a walking disaster. I mean, if he “could” do something the wrong way, invariably he does it the wrong way. And yet he always walks away from the situation alive, even if he should have died. Aragones knows this is the formula and as such doesn’t try to put pat endings on the comics. For example, in this issue the last page is of Groo walking into an ambush by the original villagers who hired him. Aragones doesn’t show the battle but we know we’re going to see Groo next issue, even if he’s hurt and bleeding, hahahaa.

The other thing is just how ridiculous Groo continually is. I’m going to include a page from the comic to illustrate this. I laughed hard enough when I read that Mrs B had to ask what was going on. When I said “I’m reading a Groo comic”, she just rolled her eyes and understood.

This whole page just sums up Groo to perfection.

★★★✬☆


Friday, May 05, 2023

Business (Bone #20) ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Business
Series: Bone #20
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 21
Words: 1K


From Boneville.fandom.com/wiki/

Fone Bone, Thorn, and Gran'ma Ben continue their trek to Barrelhaven. Upon reaching an overlook of the village, Fone Bone remarks that the Barrelhaven looks peaceful, to which Gran'ma Ben warns that "looks can be decieving."

At the tavern, dragons are on the villagers' minds. When approached by Lucius with an offer of another round, Wendell and Euclid refuse, but immediately accept an offer from Smiley, as do other patrons. Lucius becomes infuriated at the town's obsession, and Phoney and Smiley muse over their plans, with Phoney admitting he has no plans to slay a dragon, as they aren't really dangerous. When Jonathan Oaks orders from their end of the bar, Lucius confronts Phoney in the pantry. To Phoney's protests, he plans to call off the bet, as he doesn't find it worth riling up a mob, and because Phoney is disrespecting the Dragons' wishes to remain hidden. Phoney challenges Lucius to tell the villagers the truth, but leaves him fuming when he makes no action to do so.

In the woods, Gran'ma suffers an attack of the Gitchy Feeling. The trio is ambushed by one of the Two Stupid Rat creatures.




Phoney is scum of the earth. I mean, he’d make a perfect villain here. It is really tough trying to figure how to deal with him here. Yes, he’s Fone’s cousin and doesn’t seem to want to bring harm to Fone but on the other hand, he’s willing to do almost anything to anyone to get what he wants. His little talk with Lucius about “honesty” was the real kicker for me. He twists the meanings of words to make them do what he wants and he manipulates them so as to manipulate Lucius too. He’s exactly the kind of person that should be throttled, because he’s pure poison. We do find out from Lucius that the dragon wants to remain hidden. Why? We still don’t know.

The ending with Fone, Thorn and Gran’ma Ben getting ambushed by 2 rat creatures is supposed to be tension filled and create that “oh no, what is going to happen” feeling, thus leading you on to buy the next issue when it comes out. The rat creatures are so incredibly stupid though, so I’m expecting something very clownish to happen that’ll rescue Our Crew.

I’ve also decided that I’ll read up through issue 27 and then make the switch to the omnibus versions. Those contain 7-10 issues in each volume and thus you get a lot more story in a volume. But that won’t be until the end of this year at the earliest. I hope I can hold on until then :-)

★★★☆☆



Friday, April 28, 2023

Web of Spiderman #6-9 ★★☆☆☆

 





This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Web of Spiderman #6-9
Writer: Danny Fingeroth, Peter David, David Michelinie
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 95
Words: 8K


From Marvel.Fandom.com

Synopsis for "Gold Rush!"

Story continued from Secret Wars II #2...

The Kingpin is woken up at 3:00 am with some troubling news. He places a call to a man Bainbridge. As he waits for the man to answer, he figures out the financial worth of the current crisis and realizes that it could make the great depression seem like prosperous times. When Bainbridge answers the phone, the Kingpin explains what must be done...

While elsewhere in Manhattan, Mary Jane Watson cannot sleep, her mind keeps coming back to the fact that she had recently revealed to Peter Parker that she's known that he's secretly Spider-Man for years[Continuity 1]. She struggles with the fact that she can't be with someone that risks their lives on a daily basis, and although she is still friends with Peter she cannot shake the feelings she has for him. As she considers the strange twist of fate she finds herself in, she notices that there is a fire some blocks away and wonders what the cause of it could be.


At the site of the fire is the man of Mary Jane's thoughts, Spider-Man who is at the scene of the office building that formerly housed the Heroes for Hire until the Beyonder recently turned the structure entirely into gold just moments ago. Realizing that there might be people trapped inside the building despite the late hour, Spider-Man enters the building and begins finding those who are trapped inside and finds that everything except for humans has been turned into gold.[Continuity 2] As Spidey searches for survivors, those few who are still up at this late hour find it almost impossible to believe that a building can be turned into gold. However, before anyone can capitalize on this, the Kingpin calls in to his contacts in Washington D.C. to assist in closing off the area to prevent people from making off or learning about this sudden cache of gold, as it could cause a financial crisis. Hard pressed for resources, the government makes a deal with the Kingpin even though they realize that they are making a deal with the proverbial devil.


Unaware of this deal, Spider-Man continues to rescue those trapped in the building as two police officers arrive. When the cops wonder how they will keep the public away from a giant pile of gold, they soon find themselves surrounded by a heavily armed guard of gangsters and street thugs. They are soon relieved by government agent Charles Anderson who explains to the two officers that these men as assisting in keeping the area secure until the military arrives. When Spider-Man returns to the outside he recognizes some of the armed men as enforcers for the Kingpin. He also witnesses as the owner of the building, Henry Trumpsley, is forced to accept a check buying his property and is escorted off the property.


When Anderson tells Spider-Man to leave, the Wall-Crawler refuses to tell him that he can rescue the people trapped inside easier. Despite being shot at, Spider-Man slips back inside, wondering what the Kingpin has to do with the recovery. Seeing that he is unable to stop Spider-Man, and hard pressed for resources, Anderson orders the men to hold their fire and let Spider-Man do his job.


As the work continues on, over in Queens Aunt May and her fiancée Nathan Lubensky mull over the financial problems they're having keeping their elderly boarding house afloat.


By this time, the military has arrived and begun slowly removing the gold and shipping it out of the area and a massive barrier is being erected around the block to prevent people from seeing it. By the time the press arrives, there is speculation going around as to what the military is clearing out of the area. Inside the wreckage, Spider-Man continues to pull people out of the building. For the most part, everyone is alive, but he does come across one dead body within the wreckage. After bringing the body out, Spidey decides to take a break and take into consideration that scope of what the Beyonder has done. Everything, including simple trash, has been turned into gold, a discarded notebook that was considered trash hours earlier is now worth a small fortune. When Peter considers how much he and his Aunt May could benefit from something as small as a solid gold notebook, Peter wrestles with his desires and what he feels is the right thing to do and leaves the notebook behind. Spider-Man's attention is drawn to another individual who is trapped in the building. However, upon closer inspection, the Wall-Crawler learns that the reason why the man is trapped is that he was attempting to carry out all his personal possessions that had been turned into gold and that the weight of it all had pinned him to the floor. The man is unwilling to give it all up until the roof begins to collapse over their head and he begs Spider-Man to save him.


With the last of the people out of the building, Spider-Man is about to web-sling away when he notices a black limo pull up to Anderson. Spider-Man is shocked to see that it is his old foe the Kingpin, and becomes angry when he witnesses a number of soldiers loading several gold typewriters into his limo. Furious that he must struggle through life while a known criminal like the Kingpin gets free gold from the government, Spider-Man finally has enough and decides to get what he believes he deserves. Jumping back into the ruins of the building, he recovers the gold notepad that he previously decided to leave behind. Exiting the building he confronts Anderson and tells him that he saw the transaction between him and the Kingpin and shows him that he intends to keep a reward for himself. After angrily chastising the government official, Spider-Man swings off leaving Anderson to consider what he has just done.


This story and Secret Wars II continues in Amazing Spider-Man #268...



Synopsis for ""Welcome... ...to My Nightmare!""

Peter Parker is having a dream wherein he has arrived at the Daily Bugle completely naked to see if Joe Robertson is in. Betty Leeds sends him through, not noticing that he is not wearing clothes. Likewise, Peter doesn't seem the least bit concerned that the Daily Bugle staff is comprised of heroes and villains. Betty warns Peter that Joe is in a bad mood, but he assures her that he can handle it. However, when he arrives outside Robertson's office he is shocked to see the Hulk come smashing out. With this threat before him, Peter's original Spider-Man costume begins to appear upon him. The other people in the Bugle begin to run, telling Spider-Man to run. With the Hulk looming over him, Spider-Man can't find a way to fight back. Thinking a change of costume will confuse the Hulk, Spider-Man's costume suddenly changes to his black and white costume and flees from the Daily Bugle building. Suddenly, the Daily Bugle building collapses. Examining the rubble, Spider-Man discovers the Hulk is still alive. As his costume continues to alternate between red-and-blue and black-and-white, he tries to battle the gamma-spawned monster. Despite his efforts, the wall-crawler is grabbed by the Hulk and tossed at the Brooklyn Bridge. However, instead of being splattered against the metal frame of the bridge, he rips through it like a piece of canvas. On the other side, the web-slinger finds himself falling into a void. He hears a voice calling out for help, but can't find any way to save himself from falling.


Suddenly, Peter Parker wakes up and realizes that this was all a dream. Even though he is in his Spider-Man costume and has a coffee machine in his apartment, Peter doesn't realize that he's still dreaming. When he hears someone cry for help, he looks out his window and sees his Aunt May's home down below. Fearing the worst, Peter puts on his mask and swings down to the house. There, Spider-Man watches in horror as the Burglar with an automatic weapon mowing down his Uncle Ben, Aunt May, Gwen and George Stacy, Mary Jane, and Betty Leeds.[Continuity 1] Horrified to see all his loved ones dead, Peter demands to know why the Burglar killed them. Fleeing the scene, the Burglar tells him that this is what Spider-Man wanted, that he needs guilt to keep going. Spider-Man denies this and in a fit of rage follows after the Burglar. Suddenly, Spider-Man finds himself replaying his confrontation with the Burglar at the Acme Warehouse.[Continuity 2] Spider-Man knocks the crook out, but this time when he gets a good look, he has the face of Peter Parker. This is a shock to Peter but this puts him in a state of despair that he believes that Spider-Man is actually responsible for the death of his loved ones.


Accepting defeat, Spider-Man doesn't resist when the Hulk comes smashing through the wall to destroy him. However, when the Hulk smashes the floor, it breaks away and the pair both fall into some water below. Once again he hears a voice calling out for help and begins swimming toward the voice. This leads him into a sewer where he finds the creature that calls itself Nightmare. It begs Spider-Man for help as the Hulk has been chasing him and begs Spider-Man to save him before his realm is destroyed. Spider-Man finally clues in to the fact that he is dreaming. However, Nightmare warns him that if he dies here, he will die in real life. When the Hulk catches up to them, Spider-Man lures the brute out to the surface. Spider-Man is surprised that this dreamscape looks just like Manhattan. Surfing in the air on a manhole cover, Spider-Man loses the Hulk around the Statue of Liberty. He returns to Nightmare and demands to know why Nightmare's realm looks like Manhattan. Nightmare explains that his realm takes on aspects that are familiar to those who are trapped in it and that only an adept can see it as it truly is. When Spider-Man mentions the name of Doctor Strange, Nightmare curses his foe, blaming him for everything that has happened. Spider-Man demands answers, and Nightmare tells the wall-crawler that Doctor Strange cursed his realm with Bruce Banner's sleeping mind.[Continuity 3]


Nightmare goes on to say that this dream-form of the Hulk is just as powerful as the real thing and that he chose Spider-Man due to his sense of responsibility and his previous experience battling the Hulk. That's when the Hulk comes crashing through again. Spider-Man blinds the behemoth with some webbing, allowing them to flee. Nightmare takes Spider-Man to the very edge of his realm where there is nothing but a white void that Nightmare states is a realm of utter madness. When the Hulk catches up to them once again, Spider-Man battles it the best he can, and ultimately uses his superior agility to knock the Hulk into the void, destroying it. Exhausted, Spider-Man is glad it is over so he can finally return to the waking realm. However, Nightmare has other ideas, telling the hero that he intends to keep him in the Nightmare Realm to defend him forever. Suddenly, the Hulk reaches out from the void and grabs Nightmare dragging him in. Nightmare begs Spider-Man for help, reminding Spider-Man of his sense of responsibility. Instead, Spider-Man turns away trying to ignore Nightmare's sickening screams. Spider-Man does have a responsibility to himself, as well as others. As he leaves Nightmare's realm, he tries to ignore the horror he has seen, reminding himself that if he saved Nightmare, he'd be trapped in his realm forever and unable to save anyone ever again.


Suddenly, Spider-Man wakes up and is suprirsed to see his landlord, high neighbors, and the police standing at the foot of his bed. As it turns out, his nightmare was so intense his screams woke everyone up and they called the cops. His landlady Maimie Muggins is upset that he made such a racket. His neighbors are a little more sympathetic, when Peter tells him he forgot what the nightmare was about. However, he thinks that sometimes it is better that way.



Synopsis for "Local Superhero!"

Years Ago:[Continuity 1]


In the vastness of space, a planet explodes, hurtling debris across the universe. One such chunk ends up crashing in a junkyard on planet Earth in the small town of Smithville, Pennsylvania. The following morning, Frank Hopkins reports for work at the Smithville Savings Bank. He arrives late for work much to the annoyance of his employer. After being snubbed by Marge, the bank typist, he meets with his co-worker Irving. Irving has two tickets to an orchestra performance that evening and Frank accepts an invitation to join. That evening, Frank waits outside for Irving, who is running late. Suddenly, he hears a scream in a back alley and sees a pair of thugs tar and feathering Irving. Around his neck is an antisemitic sign reading "Jew Boy". When Hopkins tries to stop them, he is beaten up and left in the alley. The two thugs then throw Irving in the back of a pick-up truck and attempt to flee. Frank grabs ahold of the tailgate and holds on for dear life. However, despite his heroic efforts, the speeding vehicle shakes him loose, sending Frank Hopkins rolling into the junkyard. Trying to get up, Frank uses the chunk of space rock to steady himself. Suddenly he feels funny and gets up with no further pain. Walking home, Hopkins dismisses this as nothing but adrenaline.


Returning home, Frank goes through old newspaper clippings of heroes like Captain America and the Human Torch, who were active in World War II. He wishes that there were heroes like that around in this day and age to prevent such acts of violence.[Continuity 2] The next morning, the front page story in the papers is about the beating of Irving Stein, who is now recovering in hospital. Reading this at work, Frank Hopkins once more wishes there was something that could have been done for poor Irving. At lunchtime, Frank goes out into the bank parking lot to eat his lunch. When he accidentally drops his apple under a car, he is surprised when he somehow manages to lift the car off the ground in order to retrieve it. Not believing what just happened, Hopkins attempts to lift the car again. He is surprised that he is able to lift it over his head. Putting it back down he wonders what he should do with this newfound power. When he walks around the front of the bank, he witnesses the two thugs who beat up Irving as they trip a young African-American boy. Suddenly, Frank Hopkins has some inspiration.


That evening, Frank returns home and gathers an old pair of long johns, some dye, and some markers and gets to work. Putting on this outfit and a mask, Frank Hopkins goes out looking for the guys who beat up his friend. He finds them roughing up a man who just walked out of a liquor store. Frank easily trounces these youths before the eyes of astonished bystanders, who proclaim him a hero.


Now:


Peter Parker is meeting with Joe Robertson at the offices of the Daily Bugle. He is upset that Joe is once again refusing to buy photos of Spider-Man. Joe tells him that if he used every photo of Spider-Man they have in his files, they could publish them for a year-and-a-half. Sympathetic of Peter's situation, Joe assigns him to a story that Joe is researching for the Sunday Suppliment. It is regarding the true identity of the Smithville Thunderbolt, a local hero in Pennsylvania. With no other choice, Peter grudgingly accepts the assignment and is soon on a bus to Smithville. The whole way, Peter complains to himself about how hard it is to make a living now that Joe Robertson is less interested in photos of Spider-Man.[Continuity 3] Soon, Peter arrives in Smithville and once off the bus a young man runs by warning everyone of a fire. Peter sees a nearby abandoned home billowing with smoke. With everyone off the bus, Peter slips inside to change into Spider-Man to save anyone who is trapped inside.


However, no sooner is Spider-Man on a rooftop opposite the other building, he witnesses the Smithville Thunderbolt running onto the scene. The wall-crawler decides to sit back and watch things from the back of the burning building. As Spider-Man climbs into the building, the Thunderbolt leaps out with two children out the front. The web-slinger looks around but can hardly see through the smoke. Suddenly, his spider-sense begins going off, warning him of danger. However, he is too late to stop a huge bruiser in overalls from striking him from behind. The strength of the blow causes Spider-Man to break through the floor to the main level of the house. Looking at who he attacked, the mysterious attacker realizes that this isn't the Smithville Thunderbolt and leaves. Spider-Man recovers from the blow and witnesses the Thunderbolt leap away. Wanting to learn more, Spider-Man tags the local hero with a spider-tracer. With the danger over, Spider-Man decides to change back into his civilian guise before he is spotted. Later, Peter Parker begins tracing the signal from the spider-tracer. It lures him to a dumpster, and Peter fears that the Thunderbolt discarded his tracer. Suddenly, someone from behind compliments him on his camera. It's a woman, and when he thanks her for the compliment and that he uses it for journalism, the woman gets upset. Turns out, the woman is Roxanne DeWinter a reporter for the Smithville Gazette, and she views Peter's presence as competition for her attempts at learning the Thunderbolts identity. However, she quickly changes her tone when she learns that Peter works for the Daily Bugle and insists on buying him lunch.


Soon the pair are sitting down at a diner where Roxanne explains that she is looking for a big scoop so she can finally get out of Smithville. She figures that learning the Thunderbolt's true identity is her ticket out of town. She suggests that the two of them work together, but Peter declines, saying that he works better alone. He thanks her for lunch and heads out. However, Roxanne DeWinter refuses to be blown off so easily. Moments later, Peter is back at the dumpster, but doesn't find any trace of his spider-tracer. Suddenly, he picks up a faint signal and leaps over the dumpster to track it, unaware that DeWinter is following after him. The signal leads Peter to a modest looking home. He then slips around to the side of the house and changes back into Spider-Man and tries to find a way inside so he can recover his spider-tracer. Not far away, Roxanne DeWinter has lost sight of Peter since going back for her car, but deduces that he is in the only inhabited house in the area. Inside the house, Spider-Man introduces himself to Frank Hopkins, who is shocked to see Spider-Man in his home. Saying he has come to recover his property and follows the signal to a closet. Before Frank can stop it, the wall-crawler opens it and is shocked to discover the costume belonging to the Smithville Thunderbolt.


Unaware that Roxanne DeWitter is listening outside his door, Frank Hopkins confesses that he is the Smithville Thunderbolt. He begs Spider-Man not to tell anyone because he believes he will be humiliated and ridiculed. He explains that he got his power a number of decades ago, but they are now starting to fade. He reveals that he has been using ordering scientific equipment to build devices that could roughly mimic is fading powers. Frank then reveals that with crime at an all time low in Smithville, he would manufacture dangers so he could still play hero. He reveals that he staged the "fire" in the house with smoke bombs and hide in the dumpster after his "daring" rescue. He once more begs Spider-Man not to reveal his secrets, fearing he will be laughed out of town. That's when Spider-Man hears a creaking floorboard from behind a door and ues his webbing to open the door. Before they can react, Roxanne snaps a photo of Frank in costume with his mask off. As Spider-Man tries to recover the camera from Roxanne, his spider-sense begins to go off. Suddenly, the strong man that attacked Spider-Man earlier comes bursting through the wall. He intends to kill Frank, insisting that he is the true Smithville Thunderbolt.



Synopsis for "The Twilight Heroes"

Years Ago:[Continuity 1]


A planet explodes, sending debris across the universe. One piece came to the planet Earth, breaking in two as it entered the atmosphere. One half ended up in a junkyard in Smithville, Pennsylvania. The other half ends up crashing in a nearby farmers field.


One Year Ago:[Continuity 2]


Ludlow Grimes is toiling away, plowing his field by horse. Suddenly, his plow blade strikes a rock. Ludlow digs it out and suddenly feels strange, but dismisses it as getting too much sun. When his wife calls him back to the farmhouse for dinner, he simply tosses the rock away and heads in. Down at the homestead, Ludlow is greeted by his wife and children as they set the kitchen table. When Ludlow's wife tries to swat a fly, Grimes offers to do it for her. With a single swat, Ludlow not only kills the fly but smashes through the front door with his bare hands. Ludlow is confused by what happened, but his family is frightened. His wife now thinks her husband is a monster and tells him to get out.


Now:


Ludlow Grimes has smashed his way into the home of Fred Hopkins, who has just been outted as the Smithville Thunderbolt by Spider-Man and reporter Roxanne DeWinter. Ludlow pronounces himself the true Smithville Thunderbolt and intends to kill Hopkins. Spider-Man gets between the two men and tells Frank to flee. However, Hopkins can't bring himself to go, wishing there was something he could do, but doesn't feel confident as his powers are fading. Meanwhile, Roxanne DeWinter snaps photos of the battle, intent on getting the scoop on this story in order to advance her career and get out of Smithville. Eventually, the Smithville Thunderbolt loses his nerve and flees. Spider-Man continues to struggle with Ludlow, and tells Roxanne to get out as well. However, she refuses to leave until she is finished her roll of film. Spider-Man, manages to briefly stun Grimes and tells Roxanne to get a move on. She agrees and tells Spider-Man that she will call the cops after to drops her film off to be developed. The pair begins to fight again, but Ludlow gets frightened off by the sound of a police siren and flees the scene. With an officer banging on the door, Spider-Man takes his leave as well, wondering what he should do next.


Changing back to Peter Parker, the hero goes to the Smithville Gazette to try and stop Roxanne from developing the film. However, he arrives too late, as she has finished processing the photos. He tells her that he knows what happened and who Frank Hopkins is and pleads with her to destroy the pictures. He tries to convince her that this revelation will ruin Frank's life and he doesn't deserve it after all he has done for the community. Roxanne refuses to listen because she is still chasing fame and heads off to the printers with her photos. Meanwhile, Frank Hopkins has changed back into his civilian clothes and returns to his home. Talking to the police, he pretends to have no idea what happened at his home. After assuring the police that he isn't in any danger, he goes back into his home. There he pulls out his binder full of newspaper clippings of his exploits as the Thunderbolt. He laments on how he is a nobody without his powers, which are now fading. Knowing that Roxanne DeWinter will ruin his life with her exposé, he takes a gun out of his deskdrawer and briefly considers murdering her. However, he can't bring himself to take a human life and decides to find some other way.


Elsewhere, Ludlow travels through a nearby swamp, confident that nobody will find him here. Looking at his reflection in the water, Grimes begins to think back to the events of the past year. He remembers how his wife thought he was a monster since he got his powers and kicking him out of his own home. He went to the local church for guidance, but the priest insisted that his powers were the product of the devil and shunned him. Soon, a lynch mob was out searching for him forcing him to flee into the wilderness. For a whole year, Ludlow lived off the land. One day he happened upon a newspaper article about the Smithville Thunderbolt and became jealous how he was respected and treated as a hero with his powers. Grimes then came up with his plan to kill the Thunderbolt and take his place so that he could be considered a hero. This all brought him to Hopkin's home and his clash with Spider-Man. Later, as rain begins to fall over the town, Roxanne DeWinter drives the Smithville Gazette news van to the printers. Still intending to try and convince Roxanne to drop the story, Peter has changed back into Spider-Man and is hitching a ride on the roof of the van.


As they drive down a country road, they are spotted by a downed tree to block the road. When Roxanne is forced to stop, her car won't move and rocks begin to tumble down toward the road. As Spider-Man leaps into action, Roxanne tries to flee, only to be carried to safety by the Smithville Thunderbolt. Unfortunately, Spider-Man discovers that the rockslide was fake, another one of the Thunderbolt's fake rescues. Before the heroes can remove the tree, they are ambushed by Ludlow Grimes. As Roxanne slips into her van and tries to get away. However, when Spider-Man tosses Ludlow, it strikes the van knocking it over the side of the road and down a cliff. Seeing that the van is caught in some tree branches, the Thunderbolt overcomes his fears to climb down and try and save Roxanne. While Grimes and Spider-Man battle it out, Frank manages to save Roxanne, who is grateful that he had done so, even without his powers. By this point, Ludlow has knocked Spider-Man out and is annoyed to hear that Hopkins has no powers. Ludlow is about to lambaste Frank but sees how frightened he looks and realizes that they are the same. By the time Spider-Man recovers from Grimes' beating, the situation has defused itself.


The next day, the life of Ludlow Grimes takes a fortuitous turn, as he is enlisted by S.H.I.E.L.D. Finally finding a place to belong, Ludlow is finally happy. After witnessing this, Peter Parker is about to head out, when he sees that Roxanne still published the story about the Thunderbolt's true identity. Furious, Peter goes down to the Gazette office and confronts DeWinter over this revelation. She still doesn't care as she is confident that this will boost her career. Suddenly, they hear a mob heading toward Hopkin's home, thinking it is a lynch mob, Peter rushes to see what he can do to stop them. However, much to his surprise, the townspeople have come to celebrate their local hero. Roxanne is about to gloat about how her story caused no harm she is suddenly silenced by the sound of a gunshot. Peter forces the front door open and discovers that Frank Hopkins committed suicide. Sadened by this turn of events, Peter Parker walks away without saying another word. Roxanne DeWinter, however, pulls a camera out of her handbag and takes a picture of Smithville's fallen hero.


SEPARATOR

Ahhh yes, I had really forgotten just how political and left leaning most comic book artists were and are. The Government defines what is right and wrong, as they are the Highest Authority. Gawwwwww, that really chaps my britches. There is a scene in Issue #6 where Spiderman is going to rescue a man who is weighed down with gold items (that were his own before getting transformed to gold) and Spiderman lectures him on how it is now ALL the Governments because they said so and so he can’t take it with him because that would be illegal. It was so mind boggling wrong that I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the issue. It was also a cross over issue within the larger Secret Wars II series. They did a good job of bringing me the reader up to speed in one page, but the FOMO (fear of missing out) being produced for the rest of the comics books dealing with Secret Wars II was almost palpable. 2 stars for hypocrisy by artists who were at the forefront of the dammed commie led hippie revolution.

Issue #7 was a dream/nightmare sequence where Nightmare drags Spiderman into the Nightmare realm to save him from a manifestation of the Hulk that Dr Strange sic’d on him. It was obviously filler and made almost zero sense but I just rolled with it. The funny thing was at the end of the issue the land lady had called the cops because Peter had been screaming in his sleep and she’s in his apartment along with 2 cops and 3 chicks in their nightwear and Peter’s lounging in bed with only briefs on and everybody’s totally cool with it all. Only in comicbook land. 3 stars for blondes in nightgowns though.

Issue #8 begins a multi-part story about some bank teller who touches a space blob and gets super strength. For a while. Then as it fades he begins faking things to keep up the appearance so people will still say nice things about him. Peter is sent on assignment to cover it and another local writer is involved. Peter finds the fake guy and right at the end of the issue some super brawny guy busts through the wall of the house claiming to be the real Smithville Thunderbolt. It was sad and pathetic. 2 stars for an old man who want the adulation of the unwashed masses.

Issue #9 is where I mentally checked out. The same goop infested some other guy who was a farmer. His ignorant wife rejected him when he accidentally tore a whole in the wall. A priest calls him an agent of Satan. The villagers chase him down with torches and pitchforks. I kid you not. Then “comic book logic” and next thing you know he’s working for S.H.I.E.L.D. and the original Thunderbolt commits suicide because his identify was revealed in the local paper. 2 stars for big city bias and poor story quality.

This was some very poor story telling. It felt like everything was an idea the writers jotted down on a napkin at the tail end of a very short lunch. I realize that top quality story telling is almost impossible for a monthly comic book but my goodness, this stuff was bad. One thing is that Louise Simonson wasn’t involved and I think she was the guiding hand on the first few issues. I am super glad I am not reading these individually. I couldn’t handle just one a month. As it is, I’m going to be discussing with Dave the future of this buddy-read. These 4 issues really make me question if I actually want to read more, sigh.

Here is Dave's review of Web of Spiderman #6-9.

★★☆☆☆

Friday, April 21, 2023

Asterix and the Soothsayer (Asterix #19) ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Asterix and the Soothsayer
Series: Asterix #19
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K




From Asterix.fandom.com

One stormy day, the Gauls — with the exception of Getafix, who is at his annual druid meeting — are huddled in the chief's hut, fearing for their lives. But then, a man enters the hut in a burst of lightning - it is a soothsayer, who promptly proceeds to see the future for our superstitious Gauls. He predicts that "when the storm is over, the weather will improve." But not all are impressed; Asterix alone dares question the qualities of this soothsayer, who is in fact a fraud.

Although Asterix can see this, not everyone is convinced, most notably Impedimenta, the chief's wife. Partly out of superstition and partly out of personal ambition, she convinces the soothsayer (known also by the name "Prolix") to remain in official hiding near the village, where she and the other villagers may question him at will. The only two whom she will not permit into the forest are Asterix and Obelix. Obelix in particular has a grudge against the soothsayer, who has threatened to kill Dogmatix in order to examine his guts for predictions of the future.

When Obelix finally thwarts Impedimenta and enters the forest, he finds Prolix there and chases him up a tree. When he threatens to uproot it, Prolix puts him off by claiming to see a vision of a beautiful woman who loves warriors matching Obelix' description. Obelix returns to the village and almost instantly falls for Mrs. Geriatrix.

Prolix meanwhile is arrested by a strictly rule-abiding Roman Optio (a senior officer). The Optio brings Prolix before the Centurion, who decides to make use of the imposter's persuasive voice.

Back in the forest Impedimenta and Asterix have within moments of each other discovered the absence of the soothsayer, causing consternation among the villagers who were told by the soothsayer that the gods would put a curse on them if anything untowards happened to him. Being that Obelix has been beguiled by Prolix's ironically accurate description of Mrs. Geriatrix (not mentioned by name), Asterix finds himself standing alone. Prolix returns at that moment, claiming dramatically that soon the air in the village will become polluted by a divine curse. Terrified, most of the villagers leave their home, to wait on a nearby island for the curse to run its course, as if it were a quarantined virus. Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix stay behind.

The Romans soon arrive to investigate the village, while the Gauls hide in the local undergrowth. Unknown to either, Getafix has completed his conference (which seems to be a facsimile of a twentieth-century scientific conference) and returned. Hearing of the situation, he concocts a witty plan by which to drive out the Romans and teach the villagers a lesson. Using a number of unidentified ingredients in his cauldron, the Druid literally raises such a stink that even the powerful Obelix is affected. The fumes spread to the village, expelling the Romans, Prolix, and Cacofonix the Bard who had sneaked back to find his lyre.

Prolix is baffled: the seeming fulfillment of his prediction has set him to wondering if he is becoming a real soothsayer. On the other hand, the appearance of the foul air has cemented the Centurion's faith in his oracle. He sends word to Caesar that all of Gaul is now conquered ("All?" "All."). But, like Crismus Bonus of Asterix the Gaul, he begins to desire the Imperial Throne for himself. To pass the time, therefore, he has the soothsayer tell him exaggerated stories of the luxuries emperors enjoy.

Meanwhile, Getafix joins the other villagers on the island to explain the Truth. Here we see a reference to the priestly role of the Druid, when Vitalstatistix begs Getafix to "appease the anger of the Gods, which has fallen upon our poor village." To which Getafix replies "Nonsense!" and proceeds to demonstrate what is really going on.

Inspired by this, the villagers go home, while the Romans deal with their own problems. The Optio is himself confused, because even though the Centurion is convinced that Prolix is a genuine soothsayer, the Optio's own observations tell him otherwise. Though upright and law-enforcing, he is not intellectual and finds himself thoroughly perplexed by the simplest of contradictions. Even his inferior officers regard him as an "idiot".

In the village, trouble is still present. Impedimenta and her fellow women are not convinced that Prolix was a cheat, partly because he only foretold pleasant things for them, such as a business partnership between Vitalstatistix and Impedimenta's brother Homeopathix, each of whom considers the other an arrogant dope.

Asterix has an idea; they might give the soothsayer a surprise, to prove that his predictions are not genuine. The surprise is quite simple: the Gaulish men and women will attack the Roman camp together. The plan is successful: the Gauls arrive at the camp and Prolix admits that he had no idea that they were coming. This convinces Impedimenta who beats the Centurion and the soothsayer with a rolling pin, causing her husband Vitalstatistix to look on her with an almost patronizing pride.

Returning to the village, the Gauls meet an envoy of Caesar's who has come to check on the Centurion's claim that the village is conquered. They beat him and his escort up.

The envoy, Bulbus Crocus, goes to the camp and faces the Centurion: "AND LOOK WHAT YOUR CONQUERED GAULS DID TO US, BY JUPITER!" He reduces the centurion to a common soldier, and, when the ex-centurion reflexively tries to give the Optio an order, the Optio rebukes him for his tone to a superior officer and orders him to sweep out the camp alone.

Prolix, who has been taking a lot of yelling from the now-ex Centurion over being a fraud, leaves the camp swearing to give up soothsaying at the risk of having the sky fall on his head, whereupon Rain-God, Taranis, sends down a thunderstorm.

The Gaulish village, however, is soon at peace, enjoying themselves for the present and not worrying about the future - with the exception of Cacofonix, who still dreams about being a famous singer.


INSERT LINE


Considering how the foolish the villagers act on a regular basis, it was pretty obvious the route this story was going to go. And it went exactly how I figured. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but when a story is predictable down to even the pirates getting sunk by the gauls in rowboats, well, it takes a bit of the fun out of things.

Part of the problem is that these books were originally written for children. The story lines thus would be all new to them and the problems I have wouldn’t be an issue for them at all. I don’t fault Goscinny and Uderzo for their story telling, I’m just disappointed because I wanted a fully mature story line and I’m never going to truly get that with an Asterix book. Oh well.

But passing that over, this was fun to read. The back and forth between the Centurion and his next in command about whether Prollix was a genuine soothsayer or a fraud was enough to make your head spin, but it was on the nose in terms of humor.

★★★☆☆



Friday, April 14, 2023

Groo and the Shipyard (Groo the Wanderer #16) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Groo and the Shipyard
Series: Groo the Wanderer #16
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K



From Bookstooge.blog

Groo tries to find work as a guard at a flying ship yard. They need no guards as they have a whole pack of savage dogs. So Groo joins as a common laborer and pegs and caulks a ship. To the usual Groo standards.

He runs across Taranto and his crew who have been pillaging and plundering. They steal an airship only to find out it is the one Groo work on. So it falls apart and they all go crashing to the ground.


SEPARATOR


Ahhhh, appropriately silly and asinine. Just what every Groo comic should be.

What was interesting was the Checklist ad though. It has the latest GI Joe comic and it’s the introduction for Sgt Slaughter:



I remember Sgt Slaughter because he was also a World Wrestling Federation actor at the time and boy did Hasbro make a big deal about promoting his character to sell all the toys. His picture, real or as the animated version, was yelling at everyone to do everything, all at once. And he did it all first so he could yell at you for not doing it fast enough.



★★★✬☆