Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road

Saturday, September 17, 2022

The Hotel Bookstooge - Now Open for Business

Back in 2018 I started working on my blog to neaten things up (Site Update). Four and a half years later, I have finished. All 4060 of the books I have read since April of 2000 now each have their own little room in The Hotel Bookstooge. (+/- for omnibus and the occasional stray manga volume I lost track of)

And the best part? They can’t check out NOR can they leave. Mwhaahahahahahaa.

I’d like to thank everyone of you who gets posts emailed to them for putting up with this construction. I know this added up to a LOT of emails over time (and sometimes even within just a couple of days) but you can rest assured, the last beam of lumber has been cut, the final coat of paint has been splashed on the walls and the staff have all been vetted and are ready to cater to my every whim. So please, enjoy!

I would say feel free to wander around and check out the over 4000 rooms, but there is a small cover fee to keep the riffraff out. I’m sure you understand. Oh, and watch out for security. I’ve set them on “kill” instead of “stun” because it’s more fun that way. That way as I watch you on the cameras I can be sure you’re genuinely terrified as you run screaming down the falls, begging for mercy and desperately trying to find the way out. My goodness, I’m already chortling in glee just thinking about it! Sounds like a great time, eh?

And to help you take the first step on your fun filled adventure, just click the following link which will take you to a random page on the blog. And THAT service is on the house! Yes, yes, I know, I’m just too generous.

CLIKCC MEE (or else. jus’ sayin’)

Of course, the only problem is what do I do next? I shall have to give that some serious thought. Cheers!

The Return of Sherlock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes #5) ★★★☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Return of Sherlock Holmes
Series: Sherlock Holmes #5
Author: Arthur Doyle
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Mystery
Pages: 420
Words: 114K

Synopsis:

Table of Contents

“The Adventure of the Empty House”

“The Adventure of the Norwood Builder”

“The Adventure of the Dancing Men”

“The Adventure of the Solitary Cyclist”

“The Adventure of the Priory School”

“The Adventure of Black Peter”

“The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton”

“The Adventure of the Six Napoleons”

“The Adventure of the Three Students”

“The Adventure of the Golden Pince-Nez”

“The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarter”

“The Adventure of the Abbey Grange”

“The Adventure of the Second Stain”

My Thoughts:

While Sherlock returns from what should have been certain death, in this collection, it wasn’t the fantastic return it should have been. Doyle seems to have run out of vim and vigor and most of these stories felt very plodd’y. To the point he abandons all continuity and has Sherlock and Watson once again living at 221B Baker Street. Mrs Watson seems to have been disappeared, to the point where I had to wonder why Doyle had ever introduced her in the first place.

All of these were new to me except for the Dancing Men and even that I had forgotten pretty much everything except that the dancing men were a code. With all new (to me) stories, I have to admit I was hoping for a bit more punch and some rock-em-sock-em robot action. What I got was workmanlike stories written to pay the bills.

Personally, I don’t see why “I” should be punished by Doyle’s bad attitude; “I” didn’t ask him to write more Sherlock. He did that all on his own because going out and earning a living with his hands was too much for the namby-pamby wuss. He should have become a land surveyor, that’d put hair on his chest, pennies in his pocket and mush on the table. But nope, instead he churns out spiritless stories and the hoi poloi of his time are too stupid to even reject them. So here I am, left with a legacy of spiritless stupidity. My goodness, the stuff I put up with just to write reviews. And I’m not even getting paid. And if I was getting paid, I’d spit in the eye of the company paying me because only book hookers write reviews for money.

Ok, enough of that.

Despite my complaining, there was nothing bad about this collection. It just didn’t feel inspired and for a 400+ page book, you a little inspiration to keep that plodd’y feeling away.

A Study in Scarlet (Book 1)
The Sign of Four (Book 2)
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (Book 3)
The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes (Book 4)

Friday, September 16, 2022

Miss Mapp (Mapp & Lucia #2) ★★★✬☆

Title: Miss Mapp
Series: Mapp & Lucia #2
Authors: E.F. Benson
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Humorous Fiction
Pages: 312
Words: 90K

Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org

Miss Elizabeth Mapp presides over the High Street of the seaside town of Tilling, keeping tabs on all of the gossip, and directing social activity. She competes in bitter rivalry with a neighbor, Godiva Plaistow, over dress-making, and observes the battles over golf and alcohol between Captain Richard Puffin and Major Benjamin Flint. There are further social wars over daylight saving time, bridge games, and the significance of a neighbor being recognised as a Member of the Order of the British Empire.

My Thoughts:

This felt very similar to Queen Lucia, in that a domineering and unsympathetic woman is the lead character and yet manages to amuse us, the readers, instead of making us rise in revolt and guillotine all such monstrosities.

While Mapp doesn’t have the airs of Lucia, she has that rock solid indomitableness of someone sure of their own rightness and superiority to every other person present.

In this story, Lucia isn’t present and the town is a different one altogether. I’m not sure how Mapp & Lucia will come together and even when/if they do, I am not sure how that will go. They’ll either be the greatest of friends presenting a united front against all others, or it will be a dynamite of a meeting with everyone else getting blown up by the meeting of the two titans.

I think the reason I am enjoying these is because the drama is so lowkey and absolutely meaningless to anyone outside of the town. It truly is a tempest in a teacup. I am not invested in who throws the best tea parties or who wears what dress, but I like seeing how people react to such things, because I know I react to such small things in my own life. If there is no drama in our lives, we will create it out of wholeclothe and bemoan it all at the same time. It’s amusing.

Also, keeping things around 300pages is just optimal in my opinion. An occasional big book is ok. Dickens for instance gets a pass. But not every author and not every time. Benson knows this and writes accordingly. I highly approve of his restraint and mastery.

Queen Lucia (Book 1)

Thursday, September 15, 2022

Pigs and Apples (Groo the Wanderer #9) ★★★✬☆

Title: Pigs and Apples
Series: Groo the Wanderer #9
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 23
Words: 2K

Synopsis:

The Sage narrates an adventure he and Groo had. There were 2 villages. One held that apples were sacred and not to be eaten and the other held that pigs were sacred and not to be eaten. Groo goes hungry but the Sage tells him a way to get all the food he eats, ie, to incite war between the villages. Groo plays both sides off the other and eats all the apples and pigs he wants. Only to find out that the ban on them both was because they were all poisonous. Everyone gets really sick.

The Sage is lauhing his head off while telling the tale at an inn and has just finished an apple and pork dumpling. The mistress of the inn asks the name of the Sage’s companion in the story and tells them it was “Groo”. She screams “but Groo just sold us all these pigs and apples”. Upon hearing this, everyone in the inn promptly gets sick.

My Thoughts:

Close to the best Groo story so far. I was worried when it started out with the Sage narrating as I don’t like his character, but the story was all about Groo so that was ok.

Of course, I should have seen the ending coming a mile away but since I didn’t it was a hilarious and yet entirely “Groo” ending.

All of My “Groo the Wanderer” Reviews

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

The Third Lynx (Quadrail #2) ★★★✬☆

Title: The Third Lynx
Series: Quadrail #2
Authors: Timothy Zahn
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 266
Words: 99.5K

Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org & Me

The Third Lynx starts several months after the events of Night Train to Rigel. Having destroyed the hub world of the Modhri, Frank Campton is riding the Quadrail with Bayta, his traveling companion and friend, when a murder occurs on the Quadrail car which he is traveling on. The victim is a middle-aged man who had proposed a deal to Compton a few hours before.

Turns out some valuable art pieces of an unknown race are actually parts of a weapon that can go undetected through the Quadrail sensors. Frank and Bayta must capture the remaining pieces so it can’t be reverse engineered. They stop the pieces from falling into the hands of the Modhri’s walkers, only to discover there is a whole planet filled with the weapons, and not only weapons, but spaceships as well.

My Thoughts:

When I originally read this back in ’08 I stated that I hoped Zahn would dig a little deeper into the universe he’d created here. Having read the whole series I know he didn’t but oddly enough, knowing that actually allowed me to enjoy this a bit more this time around.

I wasn’t worried about trying to read a cracking fantastic scifi detective story. I just had to enjoy a decent sf detective who was as laid back as if he’d been smoking blunts his whole life. Despite many protestations to the contrary, at no time did Frank Compton ever come across as worried or afraid. I’m afraid he was lit to the max.

Whatever relationship Zahn was trying to create between Frank and Bayta came across as weird, uncomfortable and just plain awkward. It felt like watching two 13 year olds trying to talk to each other. It was almost as uncomfortable to read about as it seemed to be for them to actually do.

And I still had a good time reading this. Weird huh?

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

Oratorio (One Piece #29) ★★★☆☆

Title: Oratorio
Series: One Piece #29
Arc: Skypiea #6
Author: Eiichiro Oda
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 231
Words: 10K

Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_One_Piece_chapters_(187_388)

“Pirate Robin vs. Heavenly Forces Commander Yama”

“Pirate Chopper vs. Vassal Ohm”

“March”

“Suite”

“Concerto”

“Serenade”

“Pirate Zoro vs. Vassal Ohm”

“Play”

“Quintet”

“Oratorio”

“Divina Commedia”

Having had a specific goal for becoming god, and with that goal now in sight, Eneru starts picking off the remaining combatants to complete his plans and ensure his prediction will be accurate. Those who remain (plus Luffy’s snake-captor) are drawn into one big, final brawl. Meanwhile, Nico Robin locates the city of gold, only to find that all the gold is gone. The pieces begin to fall into place, and it is discovered that Eneru plans to destroy everyone who resides in the sky, while escaping to the seas below on his ship made of gold. With the five surviving “contestants” unaware of this, they engage Eneru (the sixth) in battle to see who will be excluded from his prediction. With his mastery over thunder, Eneru reduces the playing field to the promised five, but then decides that none of them is worthy of escaping with him to the blue seas.

My Thoughts:

I made a mistake in my last review. I had stated that volume 28 was the last volume I had originally read in back in ’10, but the truth of the matter is that it was actually volume 29, THIS volume. Just wanted to set the record straight so no one can accuse me of deceiving my adoring public.

This was a bit better in terms of plot because we learn a little bit about the island and “secret history” of the world that Nico Robin is trying to track down. Of course, that is offset by Kami Eneru monologuing in the most confusing way about some sort of god delusion. He’s eaten a gumgum fruit, gotten some really powerful powers and thus thinks he can do whatever he wants. What his ultimate goal is was lost in the babble, if it was even there. He does want to return to the blue sea people, which makes me wonder what he’d do if he ran across one of the more powerful of the 7 Pirate Lords.

Unfortunately, there is still a LOT of pointless and interminable fighting and the artwork for them just makes me skim over it all. After this, everything is completely new to me. Hopefully the manga-ka goes back to his cleaner, simpler artwork. This Skypiea arc has featured so many backgrounds that blend into the characters that blend into all the “action” lines that it’s really hard to see what is actually happening.

Thankfully, he’s still doing little one off pictures between chapters and here’s the one I liked the best for this volume:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/n9jpqlmfv0ptom6/op29.jpg

Seeing the lion with his pinky up in approved tea drinking fashion just made me grin.

All My “One Piece” Reviews

Monday, September 12, 2022

The BFG ★★★✬☆

Title: The BFG
Authors: Roald Dahl
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Childrens Fiction
Pages: 138
Words: 38K

Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org

Sophie, an eight-year-old girl in an orphanage, cannot sleep. Looking out of her window, she sees a mysterious giant in the street, carrying a suitcase and a trumpet. The giant sees Sophie, who tries to hide in bed, but the giant picks her up through the window. Sophie is carried to a large cave in the middle of a desolate land, where the giant sets her down. Believing that he intends to eat her, Sophie pleads for her life, but the giant laughs and dismisses the idea. He explains that although most giants do eat humans, he does not, because he is the Big Friendly Giant, or BFG.

The BFG explains, in a unique and muddled speech, that his nine neighbours are much bigger and stronger giants, who all happily eat humans every night. They vary their choice of destination both to avoid detection and because the people’s origins affect their taste. For example, people from Greece taste greasy, and so no giant goes there, while people from Panama taste of hats. As he will never allow Sophie to leave in case she tells anyone of his existence, the BFG reveals the purpose of his suitcase and trumpet: he catches dreams in Dream Country, collects them in jars, and gives the good ones to children all around the world, but destroys the bad ones. Since he does not eat people, he must eat the only crop which grows in his land—the repulsive snozzcumber, which looks like a cucumber.

When the Bloodbottler, one of the other giants, enters the cave, Sophie hides in the snozzcumber; not knowing this, the BFG tricks the Bloodbottler into eating the vegetable. Luckily, the larger giant spits her out and leaves in disgust. They then drink frobscottle, a delicious fizzy drink where the bubbles sink downwards rather than upwards, causing noisy flatulence, which the BFG calls “whizzpopping”. The BFG takes Sophie to Dream Country, but is bullied along the way by his neighbours, led by Fleshlumpeater, the largest and strongest. Sophie watches the BFG catch two dreams—while one would be a good dream, the other is a nightmare. The BFG uses it on Fleshlumpeater, who has a dream about a giant-killer named Jack and accidentally starts a brawl with his companions.

Sophie persuades the BFG to approach the Queen of England for help with the other giants. She navigates the giant to Buckingham Palace, where he places her in the Queen’s bedroom. He then gives the Queen a nightmare which closely parallels real events; because the BFG placing Sophie in her bedroom was part of the dream, the Queen believes her and speaks with the giant over breakfast. Fully convinced, she authorises a task force to travel to the giants’ homeland and secure them as they sleep. The BFG guides a fleet of helicopters to the sleeping giants. Eight are successfully shackled, but Fleshlumpeater awakes; Sophie and the BFG trick him into being tied up. Having collected the BFG’s dream collection, the helicopters carry the giants back to England, where they are imprisoned in a massive pit.

Every country that the giants had visited in the past send thanks and gifts the BFG and Sophie, for whom residences are built in Windsor Great Park. Tourists come in huge numbers to watch the giants in the pit, who are now fed only on snozzcumbers; they receive an unexpected snack when three drunks manage to climb the fence and fall in. The BFG receives the official title of Royal Dream-Blower, and continues bestowing dreams upon children; he also learns to speak and write more intelligibly, writing a book identified as the novel itself, under another’s name.

My Thoughts:

I have not re-read this book since the 90’s (I have no record of it since I started keeping track in April of 2000) and yet, I remembered it all. How does Dahl do that?!?

All My “Roald Dahl” Reviews

Ashnod's Battle Gear - MTG 4th Edition

Sunday, September 11, 2022

9/11 - An Unbearable Weight of Remembrance

Another year, another day, another time to remember what happened. Last year I mentioned how hard it was getting to remember this. Not in terms of forgetting, but in terms of remembering in the face of a whole generation who it means literally nothing to.

I can remember growing up and wondering why Pearl Harbor Day was on the calendar. Sure, I knew that PHD had happened and it was a bad time but that was way back in my grandfather’s day. I was watching anime from japan and I had a sony dvd player for goodness sake. I could say “ohayo” with the best of them (that’s “good morning”). I couldn’t understand why People were still trying to remember something from so long ago.

Now I understand. And it is a weight upon my shoulders. Every year it gets heavier and becomes harder to even think about it, much less publicly remember it. And I will cry each year in private and wonder if I’m the only one left who is remembering and then the next day I will be fine and know that others were grieving as well. I am not alone in my pain and tears. So each year I post about it and then wonder if I’m being a middle aged fool. Until the next year rolls around and I repeat it all over again. I will drag these chains another year so that the kids don’t have to. They will get their own chains soon enough, no need to burden them with this. This is MY pain to deal with.

I will remember 9/11.

Saturday, September 10, 2022

American Assassin (Mitch Rapp #11) ★★★★☆

Title: American Assassin
Series: Mitch Rapp #11
Author: Vince Flynn
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Thriller
Pages: 381
Words: 125K

Synopsis:

From the Publishers

Before he was considered a CIA superagent, before he was thought of as a terrorist’s worst nightmare, and before he was both loathed and admired by the politicians on Capitol Hill, Mitch Rapp was a gifted college athlete without a care in the world…and then tragedy struck.

Two decades of cutthroat, partisan politics has left the CIA and the country in an increasingly vulnerable position. Cold War veteran and CIA Operations Director Thomas Stansfield knows he must prepare his people for the next war. The rise of Islamic terrorism is coming, and it needs to be met abroad before it reaches America’s shores. Stansfield directs his protÉgÉe, Irene Kennedy, and his old Cold War colleague, Stan Hurley, to form a new group of clandestine operatives who will work outside the normal chain of command-men who do not exist.

What type of man is willing to kill for his country without putting on a uniform? Kennedy finds him in the wake of the Pan Am Lockerbie terrorist attack. Two-hundred and seventy souls perished that cold December night, and thousands of family and friends were left searching for comfort. Mitch Rapp was one of them, but he was not interested in comfort. He wanted retribution.

Six months of intense training has prepared him to bring the war to the enemy’s doorstep, and he does so with brutal efficiency. Rapp starts in Istanbul, where he assassinates the Turkish arms dealer who sold the explosives used in the Pan Am attack. Rapp then moves onto Hamburg with his team and across Europe, leaving a trail of bodies. All roads lead to Beirut, though, and what Rapp doesn’t know is that the enemy is aware of his existence and has prepared a trap. The hunter is about to become the hunted, and Rapp will need every ounce of skill and cunning if he is to survive the war-ravaged city and its various terrorist factions.

My Thoughts:

You know, I think this was one of the best Mitch Rapp novels so far. His college sweetheart is already dead, his future wife hasn’t entered the picture yet and we get to see the forging of an unparalleled weapon.

THIS is what I wanted from the get-go. A man unfettered by human connection, touched by tragedy but with an uncorrupted moral compass. A weapon with a conscience, as it were. If Mitch has to have a companion, he needs someone compatible. He’s a Desert Eagle 357 Magnum. His dead wife was a glass of whiskey. Those 2 things aren’t inherently compatible. What Mitch’s gun needs is either a matching gun or a security case where it can rest until needed. I don’t think that’s going to happen though.

Being a prequel, we know that Mitch isn’t going to fail and as such some of the tension is gone but the action keeps up the tempo and this is a thrill a minute. I also wondered if it would be a good thing to start the series here, but I am in the camp of reading a series in which the author wrote it and despite how good I think this book is, nothing about it changed my thoughts on the reading order.

All My “Mitch Rapp” Reviews