Showing posts with label 2023. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2023. Show all posts

Thursday, November 09, 2023

Groo Meets Pal and Drumm (Groo the Wanderer #23) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Groo Meets Pal and Drumm
Series: Groo the Wanderer #23
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K




Hahahahahahahaaa. This was another great entry in the Groo comic. Groo is suckered into putting on fake fights with another warrior and of course, he bungles, every single time.

I thought it showed Aragones’ creativity to be able to think of these “simple” situations and then make comedy gold out of them. It’s not easy to do humor on demand (as shown by almost all of our modern media writers, who are nothing but hacks, at best) but Aragones hasn’t let me down yet.

One thing I don’t think I’ve mentioned about the artwork before is how Aragones manages to draw a scene filled with people and it is busy and full but he shades things in such a way that your eye is drawn to the important part. That takes skill too and I appreciate it. The artist of a comic should be directing the audiences’ eyes and if he’s not, he’s a complete failure of an artist and should be tarred, feathered and run out of town on the rails! (I’m looking at you, modern comic artists who draw 2 page spreads with so much crap going on that the reader gets epilepsy just looking at it!) The following pix is the last page in the comic and I think illustrates this principle perfectly.



★★★✬☆


From Bookstooge.blog

Groo meets another warrior, Drum, who is working with a schemer called Pal. All three work together to put on “fights” which are rigged. The problem is that Groo keeps messing everything up and eventually everyone else catches on and the comic ends with Groo, Drumm and Pal all running for their lives.


Wednesday, November 08, 2023

I am Curious (Bloody) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: I am Curious (Bloody)
Series: ----------
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 144
Words: 55K




Another good collection from the Alfred Hitchcock magazine back in the day. Once again we run the gamut from disturbing stories (in the Accidental Widow a man seeks the prize of a rich woman and kills off her husbands, only to find that once he’s won her, he likes the killing more than he likes her) to the incompetent oaf (The Skim is about a married low level gangster falling in love with another woman and getting caught by his wife and his brother-in-law, the head mobster) to an almost-happy ending (The Heir has a street hoodlum killing a drug addict and taking his place in his mother’s affections, and will).

Now, there was one story that I wasn’t sure what the ending meant. It was called Holiday by Hal Ellson. I’m going to include it here under the details tag, peruse it if you’d like and give me your interpretation. I’ll say more about it in the next paragraph:



Blue light trembled above the hotel; guests were already sitting in the open dining room beyond the pool when a girl appeared on the upper terrace. Down the stone stairway she came, sandals clacking, white bathing suit startling in the dusky light.


She was another lone female tourist, but different from the others. At the pool-edge she adjusted her cap and plunged in. Twice she swam the length of the pool, then floated on her back, sensuously. Roger watched her casually; no point in getting excited when she’d never more than nodded to him.


Footsteps made him turn. The hotel manager smiled. “Not dining again, Mr. Peters?”


“No appetite in this heat.”


The girl in the water swam to the pool-edge, and the manager turned to her. “Enjoying a dip, Miss Boyd?”


“Yes, the heat in the city was dreadful. Isn’t it ever cool there?”


“Never. By the way, may I join you at your table this evening?”


“You could, but I’m not dining.”


“I’m disappointed. Reconsider?”


Miss Boyd climbed from the pool, asked for a cigarette. The manager felt his pockets, shrugged, and Roger offered his pack and a light. The manager introduced them. A moment later he was called to the desk. Annoyed, he started away, stopped. “A dance at the Royal Palm tonight. I hope to have the pleasure. . .”


“Sorry, I’m not going.”


“I’m more than sorry.” The manager shrugged and walked away. Miss Boyd removed her rubber cap, shook her hair. “He really is sorry,” she said to Roger.


“What does that mean?”


“All the men are in this place. They’ve only one thing in mind.”


“Perhaps because there’s nothing else to do.”


Miss Boyd laughed. “I suppose one can’t blame them. Do you think it’s the climate?”


“They’re probably trying to prove they’re men and lovers.”


“Well, making love is one way of proving it.”


“Not necessarily. And certainly not when one is married, like Mr. LaFarge.”


“He doesn’t miss a trick, but you sound married, or perhaps you’re a prude.”


“Neither one nor the other.”


“But you object to Mr. LaFarge’s activities?”


“I don’t give a damn about him and his activities.” Miss Boyd smiled. “You’re from New York?”


“Who here isn’t?”


“True. I came down to get away from the place, and everybody I’ve run into is from the big town.”


“Disappointed?”


“In that respect, but the island’s beautiful.”


“Too hot and too lush. I prefer a cooler climate, but doctor’s orders. I needed a rest. I can’t say I haven’t rested.”


“So I’ve noticed.”


“Really? I didn’t think you knew I existed.”


“The only male who hasn’t made some kind of pass. I thought you might be queer.”


“No such problem,” Roger smiled. “As for you, I had my own thoughts.”


“You thought I was?”


“Oh, no, just a bit of a snob, but at least you’re not like the other loners, all hunting for a man.”


“Anything wrong in that?”


“No, but most of them will go home disappointed.”


“And yourself?”


“Me? I came for a rest, remember?”


“Oh, yes. Then I don’t suppose you’re permitted to drink?”


“A glass or two wouldn’t bother me,” he admitted encouragingly.


“Could we have one out here?”


“Of course.” A drink would be just the thing. A white-jacketed boy brought them, bowed and walked away. Water splashed into the pool from the mouths of three green nymphs, a murmuring came from the dining room; otherwise, there was no sound.


“No music this evening,” Roger observed. “Some thing big going on elsewhere?”


“Nothing unusual. Gambling at the Casino, a dance at the Royal Palm. Do you gamble, Mr. Peters?”


“Not even for fun, and I don’t particularly care for nightclubs.”


“You’ll be lonely this evening.”


He caught the suggestion and looked directly at her. “You’re going dancing—without an escort?”


“Would you care to take me?” Miss Boyd smiled, and he realized he’d walked into a trap, but what difference?


“Glad to take you,” he said.


The night blackened and grew cooler, the pool lay quiet. Roger emptied his glass, glanced toward the dining room. Empty and dark; a single small light burning at the bar and no one there. The guests had fled, the hotel was deserted. He arose on unsteady legs, went to the railing, looked down. The hill below dropped swiftly away, thin trees raised dark hands toward him; the jungle below. Chilled, he turned away, for down there was the real island with its hidden terrors and violence which the tourists never saw. Now he wondered about himself. Why had he accepted Miss Boyd’s proposal? Would she be like the others? He resented the thought, for it cheapened her and, by the same token, made her available.


Three potent rum cocktails in him and he felt a little reckless. But where was she? A half-hour gone since she went to dress. He entered the hotel and asked at the desk for her room number. The clerk obliged and sent him a sly smile. They must smell it, Roger thought.


A series of dim passages brought him to Miss Boyd’s room—but was it hers? He struck a match. Number seven on the door. He knocked, heels clicked on tile, the door opened and she stood before him.


“I’m almost ready. Coming in?”


The invitation unexpected, he hesitated, stepped in.


“Sorry I took so long, Roger, but those drinks we had. . .I had to lie down.” She smiled, a different person from the one at the pool, eyes softer, body relaxed. “It’s so quiet. I don’t hear anyone.”


“I doubt if any guests are about,” he said, and eyed the room. “Big,” he commented.


“And so isolated.”


“A hard time finding it.”


“But you did.”


“Had to,” he said, and she stepped close, her arms encircled his neck, her mouth found his. Stunned, he couldn’t move at first and, when he did, it was too late. She escaped and ran to the bathroom. Out again, she donned a white shawl, walked toward him, pressed her room key into his hand, saying, “We’ll need this later.”


A single taxi waited under the carport. The driver assisted them in. A rumbling over cobblestones, wide turn on a descending curve and the car leaped for ward into the dark. Roger felt he was moving through a void. Anything can happen, he thought, feeling the key in his hand and recalling the start of the evening, Miss Boyd descending the steps to the pool, the casual introduction by Mr. LaFarge.


Simple and ordinary. . .but was it? He slipped the key into his pocket. Later, after the necessary rituals of the dancing and drinking, he’d have use for it. Nothing else remained between the formalities and the cool sheets of Miss Boyd’s bed. Is she like the others? He wondered, and she spoke.


“You’re not saying anything. What’s wrong?” she asked him.


“I don’t like this road in the dark.”


“The drivers know it with their eyes shut.” She took his hand. A sharp curve and she was thrown against him. There was an odor of rum on her.


“Those drinks were stronger than I thought,” he remarked. “Smell the rum?”


“A bottle in my bathroom—I had a quick drink before we left.”


Strange. Earlier, she’d complained about the cock tails. But what matter? The car rushed on.


Twenty minutes later it stopped in front of the Royal Palm. The nightclub was dimly lit, crowded, the native band playing a Meringue. A waiter found them a table. The band paused, took up with another Meringue and Miss Boyd arose. “Shall we?”


“Why not?” He escorted her to the floor. Dance? She pressed too close, used her body a bit too much. Back at their table she emptied her drink in a swallow, and he looked around. An excess of men, some tables occupied solely by them, natives, each with the look of a hungry predator. They drank and watched the women who sat out the dances. Some times they got up and approached them. None came to Roger’s table, but they watched, one in particular. Roger noticed him, Miss Boyd didn’t; the drinks reaching her? He saw it in her eyes, felt it in the way she clung to him and used her body while they danced. She was beginning to draw attention. At the announcement of the floor show, he felt relieved. At least he didn’t have to dance the Meringue for a while. He mentioned that.


“It’s the craze here,” Miss Boyd countered.


“Yes, like dope. Let yourself go with it and you can’t stop.”


She lifted her glass. “Isn’t that why we came, to let ourselves go?”


How far? he wanted to say, and a loud drumming intervened. Out went the lights, silence; a white beam knifed across the dance floor, focused on an all but naked female. A slow rhythmic beat of bongos and she began to writhe. Conversation died. The dancer held all eyes till she finished. Applause followed, a group took the floor, waiters moved among the tables. Ice clinked in glasses. Roger had already lost count of the drinks he’d had. The waiter brought new glasses. Warn Miss Boyd to be careful? A bit late; her eyes were already glazed.


The near naked female dancer again in solo, the rhythm of the bongos wilder, dancer’s movements more suggestive. A burst of applause greeted her as she finished. The lights went on, the band began another Meringue.


Miss Boyd jumped up, ready to dance. Roger hesitated. As the tall man at the other table stared, he led Miss Boyd to the floor. She held him tightly, head bobbing loosely, hips everywhere; her dress slipped from her shoulders and she refused to adjust it.


Three successive dances, back to the table and the tall man appeared, bowed, smiled at Roger. “Do you mind?” Quickly he turned to Miss Boyd and asked for a dance. Smiling, she rose unsteadily and was taken by the arm.


Roger watched them on the floor, finally lost them in the crowd. They returned when the music stopped. The tall man bowed, left, and Miss Boyd flopped into her chair. “He’s a marvelous dancer,” she said. “Did you at all notice?”


“I did, but take care, he’s had his eye on you all evening.”


“Anything wrong in that?”


“Not if he just looks.”


“Jealous, or just being stuffy?”


“Neither, but I brought you here, I feel responsible.”


“Oh, come on. What can happen on a dance floor?”


“Nothing, I suppose, but just be careful. He’ll be back for more.”


“You don’t want me to dance with him?”


“I can’t stop you,” he said.


Later, the tall one appeared at their table again. A bow, a smile, and off he swept Miss Boyd to the far side of the floor. His strategy? Roger lifted his glass. The drink was as mild as water. Was the wait er cheating, thinking he was drunk? Still, his lips were completely numb, a looseness had invaded his body and he felt ready to do something reckless.


A bottle crashed and he turned, saw a stout middle-aged woman being helped from the floor by a man half her age. Maudlin drunk, she tried to kiss him. He held her off, gave her a familiar pat, filled her glass.


Roger turned away. A sudden change was taking place, the music louder, wilder, dancers less restrained. The almost stilted, formalized steps of the Meringue no longer held the women. Their hips were freer now as they abandoned themselves to the music.


Some minutes later the tall man returned to his table and tossed off a drink. Where was Miss Boyd? Gone to the powder room? Roger waited, finally got up and went to the other table. The tall one arose, bowed stiffly from the hips. “Miss Boyd? Another gentleman asked her to dance.”


Roger turned away, searched for her, and went back to the table where the tall man sat with his friends. He looked up and smiled. “Ah, back again. You didn’t find your partner? Too bad.”


“What happened to her?”


“Who knows? Perhaps she went off with the other gentleman.”


There was no point in continuing. The tall one lit up, his friends grinned. Appeal to them? Roger turned away, again searched the huge room and found the waiter who’d served him. He knew nothing. Perhaps the manager could help. That one shrugged. “The lady must have decided to leave.”


“She didn’t leave on her own. Something happened to her.”


“Here? Impossible. Perhaps—”


“There’s no sense discussing it with you people. Where do I find the police?”


“It’ll do you no good to go to them. The Captain won’t be at headquarters, I can assure you.”


“He’s the whole force?”


“No, but his subordinates would only refer the matter to him in the morning—if he appears.”


“If he appears?”


“Yes. You see, he’s not always there.”


“Then where can I reach him?”


A shrug and Roger went out the door. The taxi driver who’d brought them stepped up. “Ready to go back to the hotel, sir?”


“No. Something happened to the young lady I brought here. Take me to police headquarters.”


“I wouldn’t advise that, sir.”


“I’m not asking for advice.”


“As you wish, but the Captain—”


“Won’t be there till morning? Okay, the hotel.” The driver started the car. It was late now. No light shone, nothing stirred. Roger sat back. “What happens when a crime is committed on the island?” he asked.


“Sir?”


“Suppose someone is murdered, kidnapped, raped? Must you wait till morning for something to be done about it?”


The driver glanced back and grinned. “There are no kidnappings here. Rape?” He shook his head. “One doesn’t have to use force where love comes so easy. Ah, but in your country it’s different, I understand. As for murder, occasionally a man may kill another over a woman.”


“And the Captain comes around in the morning to clear up the matter?”


The driver ignored the remark. “As a matter of fact, we have very little crime, no gangsters, nothing like you have back in the States.”


End of theme; silence reigned till they reached the hotel. “If you’re going into the city in the morning, sir. . .”


No answer for him. Roger went up the steps, entered the hotel. A sleepy-eyed clerk lounged behind the desk. Ask him if Miss Boyd had returned? No. He went to her room, opened the door, flicked the light. A hollow room.


Light slipped through the blinds, laughter sounded below the balcony, the black night of the island gone. Roger went to Miss Boyd’s room and knocked, then used the key. An empty room. He went off, found the manager and explained the events of the previous evening.


“You think something happened to Miss Boyd?” The manager looked at his nail. “Most likely she went off with someone for the evening and slept over. After all, that’s been known to happen here.”


“No doubt, but that’s not the answer.”


“You might wait and see if she turns up. It’s early yet,” he placated.


“I’ve waited long enough.”


“In that case, you’ll want to see the police, but please sit down. Unfortunately, the Captain sleeps late. He may not be up before noon.”


“No one else can do anything?”


“I’m afraid not. Coffee, Mr. Peters?”


An hour later Roger drove away from the hotel. The sun blazed, the road stayed empty all the way into town. The taxi stopped in front of police head quarters. He went inside. The Captain? Not in yet. When would he arrive? Later.


The sum of later, noon—and the Captain? One and the same as the tall man of the previous evening. “Yes, what can I do for you?” he grinned.


“It’s about—”


“The young lady you were looking for last evening. You didn’t find her?”


“You know damned well—”


The grin faded, the Captain’s hand came up. “Enough of that. You were drinking last night, and I made allowances. Now you’re sober, and I have a headache.”


Heed the warning? The hell with him. “Where’s Miss Boyd? You don’t frighten me.”


“Perhaps not. So you want the young lady? Too bad. She left the island.”


“There was no plane out of here last night, as you very well know.”


“She left this morning. A little trouble with a gentleman she danced with last night. Too much to drink, so she was detained.”


“Where?”


“In our jail, of course.”


“For what reason? You haven’t made that clear enough.”


“I’ve made it as clear as I intend to, and now if you will please leave. . .When you have the facts? Ah, perhaps you’d like to try our jail? I can hold you on several charges, and it would be most difficult for you to do anything about it. A month or so in a dirty cell. . .”


A bluff? No. He left, climbed into the taxi and it moved off.


“The young lady’s safe?” the driver asked.


“She’s supposed to have left on the morning plane.”


“That’s right. I drove her to the airport this morning.”


“How could you? She wasn’t at the hotel, she was in jail.”


“Jail? Oh, no. She spent the night at the Captain’s house. You see, it’s always the same. Someone takes his fancy, she’s arrested, held overnight and—”


“Put on the plane in the morning,” Roger said. Reaching into his pocket then, he found Miss Boyd’s key and flung it out the window.

</details>



I don’t know what to make of that. Did the police chief murder her and use his position to sweep it under the rug? Was she a whore who was hired to play a role involving the main character to boost the police chief’s ego? Or was it just as it said, the woman was used and then shipped off? That interpretation just doesn’t fit with the the main character getting angry and throwing the woman’s keycard away. I don’t know what to make of it. And that is the first time that has happened to me in one of these Hitchcock collections. I could be overthinking everything though, that’s been known to happen on occasion too.

Another thing that bugged me, as in that I didn’t understand, is the title itself. I know “bloody” is a British curse akin to the American f-word but it should be used as an adjective as in “I am Bloody Curious”, so why does it come at the end, in parenthesis? At first I thought I had some bad meta-data for the ebook, but looking at the cover itself, you can see that nope, it is correct. I realize I’ve probably asked more questions than anything in this review, but these are the thoughts I thought as I read this.

I was pretty happy with this read because even the questions I had didn’t detract from my enjoyment, they just didn’t allow me to enjoy things as much as I could have.

★★★✬☆


Inside Blurb & Table of Contents:


ALFIE, THE DOVE

Alfred Hitchcock simply can’t stand war. He knows he may be considered old-fashioned, but mechanical kinds of death utterly revolt his delicate taste.

Alfie firmly believes that nothing can best individual craftsmanship. A murder really isn’t worth enjoying without that unmistakable personal touch.

To prove his point, Alfie has assembled thirteen expert practitioners of the fine art of homicide. Their body counts may not be as high as figures in the newspaper—but quality, not quantity, is their aim. You’ll find thrills tailored perfectly to your chilling reading pleasure in—

Alfred Hitchcock’s

I AM CURIOUS (BLOODY)


  • ONE-ARMED BANDIT

  •      Dan Sontup

  • NEVER KILL FOR LOVE

  •      C. B. Gilford

  • THESE DAISIES TOLD

  •      Arthur Porges

  • CANINE ACCOMPLICE

  •      Grover Brinkman

  • THE ACCIDENTAL WIDOW

  •      Robert Colby

  • TWILIGHT THUNDER

  •      Edward D. Hoch

  • IMAGES

  •      Michael Brett

  • THE SKIM

  •      Richard Deming

  • ONE WAY

  •      John Lutz

  • THAT GUY WHAT LAUGHS LAST

  •      Phillip Tremont

  • THE PRIVATE EYE OF IRVING ANVIL

  •      Richard Hardwick

  • HOLIDAY

  •      Hal Ellson

  • THE HEIR

  •      Talmage Powell


Tuesday, November 07, 2023

The Sword and the Stallion (Eternal Champion: Corum #6) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission


Title: The Sword and the Stallion
Series: Eternal Champion: Corum #6
Author: Michael Moorcock
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 122
Words: 43K





Depressing as all get out. Corum almost dooms humanity and wastes months of time and then the love of his new life, Queen Medbh, is the instrument of his death. He has a nice shiny white sword named Traitor, that while not exactly the same of Elric’s Stormbringer, has many of the same properties, including lending strength to the user while it kills. And of course it lives up to it’s name, just like Stormbringer did for Elric.
 
Overall, this felt like Moorcock let things run out with a whimper. The Corum in this story does not feel like the Corum from the previous books. Corum from the Coming of Chaos trilogy was one consistent character. In this Prince of the Silver Hand trilogy it felt like the adventure determined what the character, who just happened to be named Corum, would be like. Really could have replaced Corum with any random Adventurer and it would have probably felt better. I can’t pin down exactly what made things feel this way, but it just hit me enough in all 3 books that I needed to mention it.

I mentioned in The Oak and the Ram that I thought this would be the last time I ever read the Eternal Champion stories. This book made that a surety and it convinced me not to try the Hawkmoon books either, not the original Hawkmoon series nor the sequel Castle Brass trilogy. So thanks for all the good memories, author, but I’ve outgrown you. Don’t feel bad because you’re not a Dickens or an Austen or even a Rex Stout, not many authors are after all.

★★★✬☆

On a side note, in one of my previous reviews, someone showcased a very psychedelic cover for the book. I tracked down all three of them and wanted to include them in this review. They are far out man, and you’ll be well served to remember that we used to have covers like this on a regular basis. I leave it up to you to decide if the passing of such things is good or bad.








From Bookstooge.blog

Corum, with his human allies and the two remaining Siddhi allies, are on the eve of attacking the remaining Frost gods and to save the world for humanity. Corum hears about some allies on a magical island and along with one of the siddhi, goes there to attempt an alliance. Unfortunately, they are not very good allies and thus Corum and the siddhi miss the battle. The wizard Calatin creates a double of Corum and allies it with the frost gods, making Corum’s friends think he has turned traitor. Corum kills Calatin and does make an alliance with the Island Inhabitants. Unfortunately, humanity is on the verge of being wiped out and Corum is met with distrust upon his return. Thankfully, he persuades humanity to accept him and his new allies and the frost gods are either killed or returned to Limbo. The magician of the humans takes a magic artifact and helps the Island Inhabitants to return to their original plane of existence. Corum is offered a chance to end the cycle of death and rebirth as the Eternal Champion and live in a land of peace and happiness forever. He turns it down because he wants to be with Medbh, the queen of the humans. She attempts to kill him with a slingstone made from the brains of the evil duplicate and Corum’s new sword (a white counterpoint to Elric’s, appropriately named Traitor) and his silver hand deliver the coupe de grace. Corum dies and the cycle continues. The End.




Saturday, November 04, 2023

Sense and Sensibility 5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Sense and Sensibility
Series: ----------
Author: Jane Austen
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Classic
Pages: 258
Words: 120K







What a difference 17 years makes. When I first read and reviewed this back in ‘06, I gave it 3 stars. Whether that was because it didn’t have the same emotional impact on me as did Persuasion, or if it was simply because I was a callow youth of 28 (oh, how the character of Marianne in this book would laugh at that. At 17, anyone over 25 is ancient and already just waiting for the grave) or some other reason, I do not know. But this time around, I could not only appreciate the story from a different perspective (having gotten married in ‘08 changed my perspective on a lot of things) but also the writing itself.

The writing was complex, almost, but not quite, convoluted. It was not a ten lane highway but a back country road that is still gravel, has hairpin turns and occasionally washes out at the creek. In other words, the writing had character and it wasn’t just about getting the reader from Beginning to Middle to End. That being said, at first I still tried to read this like I was in my Porsche 911. After banging up the oil pan and puncturing one of the tires, I gave that up and jumped into my Model T and tut tutted down the road, at just the right speed. As it was meant to be read.

My initial reaction back in ‘06 was that Elinor, the older sister who showcases “Sense”, was the better of the two sisters. While I think that Austen is advocating for self-control with the character of Elinor, I also felt that she was inadvertently showing the downsides to that. As an uptight, self-controlled kind of person myself, I have found that throwing off the traces every once in a while is very good for me. While emotions DO need to be controlled, they should be guided into their proper channels, not just controlled for control’s sake (or for culture’s sake, as Elinor seems to do). That is not a slam on Elinor’s character at all, as she is all of 19 or 20 and most young people need MORE control of their emotions, not less, at that time of life. They’d make a fool of themselves a lot less anyway and save themselves and others a world of hurt and pain.

Starting to look at things that way, I found myself (now at the wise, old and ancient age of 45) agreeing with Marianne’s viewpoint a lot more. She doesn’t care what other people, or “society” thinks. The older I get, the less I care what you think. Doesn’t mean I want to be a jackass and trample all over you, but in many areas, I have my ideas firmly set and I won’t give way on them and if that hurts someone feelings, that’s too bad. Maybe they should stop being a pansy and put on their boot cut jeans instead of wearing those girly skinny jeans. Ooops, see, that is being a jackass. You go right ahead and wear those girly skinny jeans. I won’t mock you at all, at least not if you’re a woman.

The only downside to this story, which wasn’t much so I didn’t even bother to knock a half star off of my rating for it, was that Marianne’s falling in love with Colonel Brandon happened like that:

~snaps fingers~

In my Currently Reading and Quote post from last month, Marianne made it evident what she thought of “older” men. Of course, in that post I laughed my head off because Colonel Brandon is all of 35. But to have Marianne change not only her opinion but her feelings so drastically and so quickly, while not out of the realm of possibility at all, didn’t ring quite true to me. It felt very “Authorial Fiat”.

I actually ended up reading this novel twice, within a week. The first time I was trying to drive that Porsche I mentioned and while I switched to the Model T partway through, I felt like I had lost something at the beginning, so I waited a week and then re-read it using the Model T from the get-go. Part of that, I must admit, was because I had formed the idea of watching four different screen adaptations and I wanted a SOLID grounding in the text, so that I wouldn’t get things from the movies and miniseries mixed into this book review. I feel that I have done that more than adequately. So prepare yourselves, the next four Sunday’s will be filled with more Sense and Sensibility than you can shake a stick at.

Finally, the synopsis hidden away by the details arrow is almost 1500 words long. Open that at your own peril.

★★★★★



From Wikipedia.org

Henry Dashwood, his second wife, and their three daughters live for many years with Henry's wealthy bachelor uncle at Norland Park, a country estate in Sussex. That uncle decides to leave only a life interest in the Norland Park estate to Henry, so that upon Henry's death the property must pass to John Dashwood, Henry's son by his first marriage, and thence to Harry Dashwood, the four-year-old son of John. The uncle dies, but Henry lives just a year after that and is unable in such short time to save enough money for the future security of his second wife Mrs Dashwood, and their daughters, Elinor, Marianne, and Margaret, who are left only a small income. On his deathbed, Henry extracts a promise from his son John to take care of his half-sisters. But John's wife, Fanny, persuades her husband to renege on the promise, appealing to his concerns about diminishing his own son Harry's inheritance, despite the fact that John is already independently wealthy thanks to both his inheritance from his mother and his wife's dowry. Henry's love for his second family is also used by Fanny to arouse her husband's jealousy, and persuade him not to help his sisters financially.

John and Fanny move in as the new owners of Norland, where the Dashwood women are treated as unwelcome guests by Fanny. Mrs Dashwood seeks somewhere else to live. Meanwhile, Fanny's brother, Edward Ferrars, visits Norland and is attracted to Elinor. Fanny disapproves of their budding romance, and offends Mrs Dashwood by implying that Elinor must be motivated by his expectations of coming into money.

Mrs Dashwood moves her family to Barton Cottage in Devonshire, near the home of her cousin, Sir John Middleton. Their new home is modest, but they are warmly received by Sir John and welcomed into local society, meeting his wife, Lady Middleton; his mother-in-law, the garrulous but well-meaning Mrs Jennings; and his friend, Colonel Brandon. Colonel Brandon is attracted to Marianne, and Mrs Jennings teases them about it. Marianne is not pleased, as she considers the thirty-five-year-old Colonel Brandon an old bachelor, incapable of falling in love or inspiring love in anyone.

While out for a walk, Marianne gets caught in the rain, slips, and sprains her ankle. John Willoughby sees the accident and assists her, picking her up and carrying her to her home. Marianne comes to admire his good looks and his similar tastes in poetry, music, art, and love. His attentions, and Marianne's behaviour, lead Elinor and Mrs Dashwood to suspect that the couple are secretly engaged. Elinor cautions Marianne against her unguarded conduct, but Marianne refuses to check her emotions. Willoughby engages in several intimate activities with Marianne, including taking her to see the home he expects to inherit one day and obtaining a lock of her hair. When the announcement of an engagement seems imminent, Willoughby instead informs the Dashwoods that his aunt, upon whom he is financially dependent due to his debts, is sending him to London on business, indefinitely. Marianne is distraught.

Edward Ferrars pays a visit to Barton Cottage, but seems unhappy. Elinor fears that he no longer has feelings for her, but she will not show her heartache. After Edward departs, sisters Anne and Lucy Steele, vulgar cousins of Mrs. Jennings, come to stay at Barton Park. Lucy informs Elinor in confidence of her secret four-year engagement to Edward Ferrars that started when he was studying with her uncle. Elinor realises Lucy's visit and revelations are the result of her jealousy and cunning calculation. This helps Elinor understand Edward's recent sadness and behaviour towards her. She acquits Edward of blame and pities him for being held to a loveless engagement to Lucy by his sense of honour.

Elinor and Marianne accompany Mrs Jennings to London. On arriving, Marianne writes several personal letters to Willoughby, which go unanswered. When they meet by chance at a dance, Willoughby is with another woman. He greets Marianne coldly, to her distress. She leaves the party distraught. Soon Marianne receives a curt letter enclosing their former correspondence and love tokens, including the lock of her hair. Willoughby is revealed to be engaged to Miss Grey, a young lady with a large fortune. Marianne is devastated. After Elinor reads the letter, Marianne admits to her that she and Willoughby were never engaged. She behaved as if they were because she knew she loved him and thought that he loved her.

As Marianne grieves, Colonel Brandon visits and reveals to Elinor that Willoughby seduced, impregnated, then abandoned Brandon's young ward, Miss Eliza Williams. Willoughby's aunt subsequently disinherited him, and so, in great personal debt, he chose to marry Miss Grey for her money. Eliza is the illegitimate daughter of Brandon's first love, also called Eliza, a young woman who was his father's ward and an heiress. She was forced into an unhappy marriage to Brandon's elder brother, in order to shore up the family's finances, and that marriage ended in scandal and divorce while Brandon was abroad with the Army. After Colonel Brandon's father and brother died, he inherited the family estate and returned to find Eliza dying in a pauper's home, so Brandon took charge of raising her young daughter. Brandon says Marianne strongly reminds him of the elder Eliza for her sincerity and sweet impulsiveness. Brandon removed the younger Eliza to the country, and reveals to Elinor all of these details in the hope that Marianne could get some consolation in discovering Willoughby's true character.

Meanwhile, the Steele sisters have come to London. After a brief acquaintance, they are asked to stay at John and Fanny Dashwood's London house. Lucy sees the invitation as a personal compliment. It is actually a slight to Elinor and Marianne who, being family, should have received such an invitation first. Too talkative, Anne Steele betrays to Fanny Lucy's secret engagement to Edward Ferrars. As a result, the sisters are turned out of the house, and Edward is ordered by his wealthy mother to break off the engagement on pain of disinheritance. Edward, still sensitive of the dishonour of a broken engagement and how it would reflect poorly on Lucy Steele, refuses to comply. He is disinherited in favour of his brother, Robert, which gains Edward respect for his conduct and sympathy from Elinor and Marianne. Colonel Brandon shows his admiration by offering Edward the clerical living of the Delaford parsonage, to enable him to marry Lucy after he is ordained.

Mrs Jennings takes Elinor and Marianne to the country to visit her second daughter, Mrs. Charlotte Palmer, at her husband's estate, Cleveland, on their way back to their home in Devonshire. Marianne, still in misery over Willoughby's marriage, goes walking in the rain and becomes ill. She is diagnosed with putrid fever, and it is believed that her life is in danger. Elinor writes to Mrs. Dashwood to explain the gravity of the situation, and Colonel Brandon volunteers to go and bring Marianne's mother to Cleveland to be with her. In the night, Willoughby arrives and reveals to Elinor that his love for Marianne was genuine and that losing her has made him miserable. He elicits Elinor's pity, but she is disgusted by the callous way in which he talks of Miss Williams and his own wife. He also reveals that his aunt said she would have forgiven him if he married Miss Williams but that he had refused.

Marianne recovers from her illness, and Elinor tells her of Willoughby's visit. Marianne realizes she could never have been happy with Willoughby's immoral, erratic, and inconsiderate ways. She values Elinor's more moderated conduct with Edward and resolves to model herself after her courage and good sense. Edward later arrives and reveals that, after his disinheritance, Lucy jilted him in favour of his now wealthy younger brother, Robert. Elinor is overjoyed. Edward and Elinor marry, and later Marianne marries Colonel Brandon, having gradually come to love him. The two couples live as neighbours, with sisters and husbands in harmony with each other. Willoughby considers Marianne as his ideal but the narrator tells the reader not to suppose that he was never happy.



Thursday, November 02, 2023

The Black Mountain (Nero Wolfe #24) 3Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission


Title: The Black Mountain
Series: Nero Wolfe #24
Author: Rex Stout
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Mystery
Pages: 176
Words: 66K





I think this was the first Nero Wolfe book that I would have been ok if I had never read it. This was very much a post-worldwar two spy novel but not quite a cold war thriller. It felt like it was the worst of both.

Wolfe’s adopted daughter does something incredibly stupid and gets killed for it. And Wolfe goes traipsing off to his homeland to find the killer, not to kill him, but to apprehend him and bring him to justice in the American court system.

First, I didn’t feel bad about the daughter dying. We’ve met her in previous books and man, was she a real witch. She also managed to manifest every single trait that I despise, so her getting killed was a cause of rejoicing for me. So Wolfe trying to get her killer brought no joy to the main occupant of Bookstoogeville, ie, me.

Second, reading about Wolfe traipsing around Europe holds as much appeal to me as drinking a quart of motor oil. I realize Stout was trying to get them out of the familiar, both in terms of setting and even storyline, but it didn’t work for me. It was like watching some actor who has spent his whole life being a failed comedian suddenly take on a role of an action star. It just doesn’t work.
Finally, Wolfe’s absolute insistence on bringing the killer to justice. The killer wasn’t American, didn’t kill an American and was allied with anti-American forces and it wasn’t logical at all what Wolfe wanted.

Even with all that, it was still excellently told and totally worthy of 3stars. Rex Stout is that good.

★★★☆☆


From Wikipedia:

As Archie is about to leave the brownstone for a basketball game, Sergeant Purley Stebbins calls with news that Wolfe's old friend Marko Vukcic has been shot and killed. After Archie identifies the body, Wolfe joins him at the morgue and insists on being taken first to the crime scene and then Rusterman's Restaurant, owned by Marko.

Wolfe and Inspector Cramer question the employees there, and Wolfe and Archie return to the brownstone to find a surprise visitor: Wolfe's adopted daughter Carla. She and Marko have been involved in a movement to secure Montenegro's independence from Yugoslavia, and she is furious at Wolfe's refusal to support the effort. Wolfe tries to question her, but she is reluctant to give any information, since she believes that he may be in league with the government of Yugoslavia or the Soviet Union.

During the three weeks following the murder, Wolfe pursues various lines of investigation and gets a second visit from Carla, enraged that the police are now looking into the movement's background. Following this meeting, he gets three updates from Paolo Telesio, an informant in Bari, Italy. The first states that Carla has returned to Bari and crossed the Adriatic Sea into Montenegro; the second is a cryptic message on the killer's location — "the man you seek is within sight of the mountain"; the last states that Carla has been killed. Realizing that "the mountain" must be Lovćen in Montenegro, Wolfe makes immediate plans to go there and find Marko's killer, accompanied by Archie.

The two fly to Europe, making their way to Bari and taking temporary shelter in a house owned by one of Telesio's friends. Telesio arranges for a guide to ferry them across the Adriatic; from there, the two hike through the foothills of Lovćen and eventually secure a ride to Rijeka Crnojevića and then Podgorica. Jubé Bilic, a college student, drives them to Podgorica and drops them off at the office of Gospo Stritar, the local police chief. Wolfe gives a fake name and passes himself off as a Montenegro native who has lived abroad for many years and is now returning to decide which side to support in the struggle over Yugoslavia's future, and Archie as his American-born son (to explain his inability to speak Serbo-Croat).

Although Stritar is skeptical of Wolfe's explanation, he allows the two to go about their business, but dispatches Jubé to follow them. Wolfe and Archie travel to the home of Marko's nephew Danilo, who had passed the messages on to Telesio and who has been helping Marko and Carla smuggle weapons and supplies in from the United States. Danilo learns of Jubé's surveillance and has him killed, then reluctantly agrees to take Wolfe and Archie into the mountains for a meeting with Josip Pasic, one member of a guerrilla team in the independence movement. From Pasic, Wolfe learns that Carla had begun to suspect that a spy had infiltrated the group; she slipped into Albania to infiltrate a Russian-controlled fort and gather information, only to be killed instead.

Wolfe and Archie sneak into the fort, where they hear screams coming from one room. Inside, they discover Peter Zov, a man they had previously seen in Stritar's office, being tortured by three Russians. Their leader berates Zov for going to New York and killing Marko on Stritar's orders, hampering Russia's goal of taking over Yugoslavia if the Tito regime is overthrown. Carla had gained the favor of the other two Russians; when they realized who she was, they killed her.

Wolfe and Archie storm the room, and Archie kills the Russians and frees Zov. The gun he used to kill Marko is found elsewhere in the fort, and Wolfe makes up his mind to take him back to New York to face justice rather than exact revenge immediately. Once the three have returned to Podgorica, Wolfe pretends to have decided to commit himself to the Tito regime and offers Stritar a large bribe in support of it. Stritar produces a letter (a fake sent by Telesio as a red herring) which states that "Nero Wolfe" will be remaining in New York and sending funds to support the independence movement. Zov is dispatched to assassinate him as an associate of Marko.

The three return to Italy, where Wolfe and Archie arrange a trans-Atlantic ship voyage under their assumed names and Zov comes aboard as a steward. Wolfe insists on having Zov brought to the brownstone so that he can reveal himself on the spot. When the ship pulls into the New York harbor, though, a news photographer spots Wolfe on the deck and calls his name. Zov draws his gun and shoots Wolfe, wounding him in the leg before being tackled by the rest of the staff. Satisfied that both murders can now be closed, Wolfe tells Archie to call Cramer.


Wednesday, November 01, 2023

Cthulhu’s Reign (Cthulhu Anthology #13) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot, & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Cthulhu’s Reign
Series: Cthulhu Anthology #13
Editor: Darrell Schweitzer
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Cosmic Horror
Pages: 267
Words: 102K





One of my biggest issues with the Cthulhu mythology has always been that it never actually happens. Either the elder gods are staved off by heroic human intervention (in most cases it is simply the elders not caring enough and waiting) or they do break through and that is the end of the story. I’ve always asked myself, so what is the logical conclusion to this mythology? What happens next?

This book answers that, in spades.

The story that stuck in my mind the most was “The New Pauline Corpus”. It was a Catholic priest/monk who had gone insane trying to reconcile the Bible with the events of Cthulhu’s coming. It was very weird because parts would be repeated, but subtly changed and incorporating the previous “questions” as now stated fact. The author, Matt Cardin, at least knew his doctrine enough to not make a complete fool of himself. That I can appreciate it. Didn’t actually care for the story, but that’s kind of to be expected what with me being a Christian.

“Spherical Trigonometry” was a story about an occultic rich genius who figured out that if he lived in a house with no angles, that he could survive the apocalypse. He brings his wife and the architect of the place and her husband to this new “ark”. It seems to be working. But he’s a complete jerk and nobody likes him. The husband of the architect is the narrator of the story and tells how his wife is locked out one day because the genius thinks he saw one of the monsters and won’t take a chance that it might get inside. So the architect dies, poor woman. This obviously sets the husband against the rich occult guy and the rich wife hates her husband, because he ignores her. Thus the husband and the rich wife carry on an affair. And the story ends with the eldrich forces invading the ark and eating them all because they had formed a “love triangle”. It was a terrible play on words and I laughed my head because everbody died. Which is how a good Cthulhu story should end.

The final story I want to talk specifically about is “Her Acres of Pastoral Playground” by Mike Allen. That has a man who invoked the Necronomicon to save himself, his wife and his daughter by creating a parallel dimension that they could reside in when the elder gods came. Problem is, it didn’t quite work right. His daughter is now just a disembodied voice, his wife is actually a tentacle monster who he forces to be in the form of his wife and he had to cut out all of his own memories of how he sacrificed his daughter to make it happen. He occasionally sees outside and that the elder gods are just waiting. As time has no meaning for them, his end has already come. The story ends with him finding himself infected by the tentacle monster and thus he knows his time is short. It was deliciously horrific.

Overall, I felt that each story stuck to the theme of “what comes next” very well. Nobody wandered off the reservation and told a story about their “pet cause”, as I’ve seen happen in other Cthulhu anthologies. I’m going to say that Darrell Schweitzer, the editor, kept a tight hand on the helm of this book and it really shows. I’m impressed. And as you all know, impressing The Bookstooge is what all editors and authors live for.

★★★✬☆




Table of Contents:

  • Introduction by Darrell Schweitzer

  • “The Walker in the Cemetery,” by Ian Watson

  • “Sanctuary,” by Don Webb

  • “Her Acres of Pastoral Playground,” by Mike Allen

  • “Spherical Trigonometry,” by Ken Asamatsu.

  • “What Brings the Void,” by Will Murray

  • “The New Pauline Corpus,” by Matt Cardin

  • “Ghost Dancing,” by Darrell Schweitzer

  • “This is How the World Ends,” by John R. Fultz

  • “The Shallows,” by John Langan

  • “Such Bright and Risen Madness in Our Names,” by Joseph E. Lake, Jr.

  • “The Seals of New R’lyeh,” by Gregory Frost

  • “The Holocaust of Ecstasy,” by Brian Stableford

  • “Vastation,” by Laird Barron

  • “Nothing Personal,” by Richard A. Lupoff

  • “Remnants,” by Fred Chappell



Sunday, October 29, 2023

Charmed Life (Chrestomanci #1) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission


Title: Charmed Life
Series: Chrestomanci #1
Author: Diana Jones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Middlegrade Fantasy
Pages: 195
Words: 70K







While I thoroughly enjoyed this, I can see why it didn’t take off like a certain young wizard with a scar on his forehead. Cat doesn’t start off as the main character and even when he’s pushed to the forefront by circumstances, he is a very passive guy and just lets things happen to him. I thought his older sister was going to be the main character, but she turns out to be a main villain and is so bad that she’s willing to sacrifice her brother for her own ends. That’s some bad family dynamics right there.

Chrestomanci is a magician of great power with a wonderful wife and two children Cat’s age and he’s the obligatory powerful good adult in the stories. While The World of Howl books are still middle grade, they are ostensibly about the adults. Here, the children are the main characters. That changes the dynamics of the story. Part of that is that Jones allows her children characters to BE children, to think and act like children, which means they do some really stupid things even when they are trying to do the right thing. At times it was very frustrating for me, as an adult, to watch Cat do exactly the wrong thing but it fit so I just gritted my teeth and held on. And it all turned out ok in the end, as good middlegrade fantasy should.

When I posted the Currently Reading & Quote post last month, the humor hit me just right. The Howl books were semi-humorous and I enjoyed them, but I wasn’t sure if it would work in another series. While not exactly a laughathon, the humor displayed in the CR&Q post was indicative of what the story contained as a whole and it really worked for me. I didn’t give this the “humor” tag because everything wasn’t funny (like say, the Discworld books were meant to be) but there was humor interwoven so nothing was too drear and dark.

On a final note, the synopsis behind the details code is almost 1600 words. Read at your own risk. I know I wouldn’t!

★★★✬☆



From Dianawynnejones.fandom.com/wiki

While on a summer outing with their parents, Cat and Gwendolen Chant are orphaned when the ferry their family is riding crashes. The two siblings are among the few survivors; Cat believes this is because Gwendolen is a witch, so she can't drown, and Cat himself clung to Gwendolen. The town sets up a trust fund for them, and they are taken in by Mrs. Sharp, a kindly older woman who lived downstairs from them. Mrs. Sharp is an Certified Witch, and she senses Gwendolen's innate talent. They go through the siblings' parents' belongings and find three letters from Chrestomanci, which Mrs. Sharp barters to Mr. Nostrum, the necromancer next door, for magic lessons for Gwendolen.

Gwendolen excels in her studies and becomes the darling of the neighborhood, who dote on her and give her presents. Cat takes violin lessons to balance Gwendolen's magic lessons, but his playing is horrible and Gwendolen turns his violin into a cat the neighborhood adopts and calls Fiddle. A Fortune-Teller reads Gwendolen her fortune and predicts she'll rule the world someday if she goes about it the right way. Miss Larkins, the neighborhood favorite before Gwendolen, tries to predict Cat's fortune out of jealousy. She goes into a trance, and a man's voice tells Cat how glad he is to have found him, but that he must be more careful: four are gone already, and he's in danger from at least two directions. That evening, Gwendolen writes to Chrestomanci.

Soon after, Chrestomanci himself comes in person and expresses a wish to have Gwendolen and Cat come live with him in his castle. Gwendolen is exultant, believing she's off to rule the world; Cat, who loves his home in Wolvercote, is morose. They set off a week later by train in grand style and travel to the far countryside, where they're greeted by a man named Michael Saunders, who introduces himself as their tutor. Michael drives them from the platform to Chrestomanci Castle, where he brings them through a side door and hands them off to the housekeeper, Miss Bessemer. That evening they dine with the Family and meet Chrestomanci's wife, Millie, and their children, Roger and Julia.

Next morning, Cat and Gwendolen begin lessons with Roger and Julia. Gwendolen and Julia get into a small magic duel over breakfast, after which lessons commence. Cat, who is left-handed, does as usual and pretends to be right-handed when Michael isn't looking, and Gwendolen shows she knows next to nothing about anything that isn't magic. Michael loses his temper when he discovers Cat writing with his right hand, and dismisses them both from the schoolroom before lunch so Roger and Julia can have their magic lesson: Chrestomanci, he says, has forbidden them both from learning magic for the time being.

Gwendolen, feeling she's not begin given the attention she deserves, grows steadily more and more furious and determines to make Chrestomanci notice her. On Wednesday, when they get their pocket money and a free afternoon to go down to the village, Gwendolen visits a seedy magic provisions supplier named Mr. Baslam to buy magic ingredients and some illegal dragon's blood. During dinner, she summons ghouls to loom at the windows, but Chrestomanci merely asks the butler to close the curtains.

Gwendolen declares magical war on Chrestomanci and casts one problematic spell after another as the days pass, but still no one acknowledges even that. She receives a letter from Mr. Nostrum, only to find that Chrestomanci already opened and read it, to her further fury. Her feud with Julia turns into a second war when she turns Julia's skirt to snakes during supper. On Sunday, when the go to church, Gwendolen bespells the figures and saints in the stained glass windows to run from pane to pane, causing mischief and raising a disturbance among the congregation. Chrestomanci still pays her no mind, but Millie is furious.

That Wednesday, Gwendolen's dragon's blood arrives in time for Chrestomanci's dinner party. The children eat dinner separately and are told to stay in their rooms. Gwendolen obliges and returns to her room, where she uses her dragon's blood to grow insects to monstrous sizes, summon skeletons, and conjure the same ghouls from before, and send them all to interrupt the party. Chrestomanci and Michael force their way into her room before she finishes; Chrestomanci boxes Cat's ears for not interfering, and Michael spanks Gwendolen and strips her of her magic.

Next morning, Cat wakes up and goes to Gwendolen's room, only to find that Gwendolen has disappeared and left an exact look-alike in her place. This strange girl, Janet, comes from a parallel world that has no magic and is much more modern. Terrified of what Chrestomanci will do or say when he discovers what Gwendolen has done, Cat and Janet agree to keep the switch a secret. Janet relies on Cat as struggles to pretend to be Gwendolen, and they both must deal with the messes Gwendolen has left behind: a spell turning the maid Euphemia into a toad, twenty pounds owed to Mr. Baslam for illegal dragon's blood, an outstanding feud with Julia, and a secret plan of the Nostrums in which Gwendolen and Cat are both involved.

Janet and Cat resolve to run away to Janet's world, where Janet promises Cat he can live with her and her parents as her brother. As they make their plans, Janet discovers a matchbook tucked among Cat and Gwendolen's parents' belongings and deduces the nine matches held inside are Cat's nine lives. Cat, in disbelief, attempts to prove her wrong by striking one of the matches. Before Janet can stop him, Cat erupts into flames, and Janet does the only thing she can think to do: call for Chrestomanci. He arrives immediately and douses the fire, then explains to Cat that he did, in fact, have nine lives, but now he only has three. Cat realizes it was Chrestomanci's voice he heard Miss Larkins speaking with back in Wolvercote.

The next day, Sunday--two weeks after Gwendolen and Cat arrived at the Castle--Cat and Janet stay home while the rest of the Castle Family and staff go to church. They take the opportunity to filch a bit of dragon's blood from Michael Saunders's workshop, then sneak into Chrestomanci's garden, which serves as a gateway to other worlds. At the center there is an arch, and when they sprinkle a bit of dragon's blood before it, its middle become window-like, displaying an image of Gwendolen as queen in another world. She notices them, but before Cat and Janet can escape to Janet's world, the Nostrums appear in the garden using Cat's signature from one of his school essays to teleport to his exact location. They are followed by more witches and warlocks, many of whom Cat recognizes from Wolvercote, and once they're all arrived, the Nostrums summon Chrestomanci.

Chrestomanci appears instantly, and immediately the Nostrums seize upon him and bind him with silver, his weakness, preventing him from using magic. They immobilize Cat and tie him to the stone before the arch, revealing that their plan with Gwendolen is to kill an innocent child--Cat--before the arch, breaking Chrestomanci's magic and opening the way to other worlds. But before they can kill Cat, Janet vanishes, and Gwendolen appears in her place. Gwendolen reveals to the Nostrums that Cat has nine lives and recounts what she did with some of them, explaining that they'll have to kill him several times; this infuriates the Nostrums, because it means Cat is a powerful enchanter in his own right, and to kill him they'll first need to discover his weakness. Before Gwendolen offers to leave so they can use her double, Chrestomanci tells them the cat, Fiddle, which Gwendolen had turned from a violin using one of Cat's lives, is in the garden. All the witches and warlocks set off through the maze-like garden to search for the cat, leaving Chrestomanci and Cat alone at the center.

Cat is shocked and heartbroken by his sister's betrayal and at how very little she cares for him. Chrestomanci galvanizes him to action, telling Cat how to use his magic to break them both free of their restraints. Cat manages to free Chrestomanci just as they're discovered, and Chrestomanci holds the returning witches and warlocks off and begins to summon the Family and Castle staff. Cat realizes Gwendolen is using his magic against them, preventing Chrestomanci from summoning Millie. He takes his magic back and joins in the battle as Millie arrives.

The Family round up the members of the conspiracy, but Gwendolen escapes and seals herself off from the rest of the world, dragging Janet back into the garden in her place. The Family holds an impromptu picnic in the garden. Chrestomanci explains that they brought Cat there to train him as the next Chrestomanci, but they didn't know if Cat knew of his magic or not, or whether he was just as amoral as his sister, which was why they'd kept him out of the loop. He offers to find a way to send Janet back to her world, but Janet says the double who replaced her was happier there than in her own world, and Chrestomanci admits that the rest are just as better off in their new worlds. He and Millie offer to adopt Janet and let her remain at Chrestomanci Castle as their legal ward.



- All of My “Diana Jones” Reviews