Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road

Sunday, June 04, 2023

No Game For Knights ★☆☆☆☆ DNF@22%

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: No Game For Knights
Editors: Larry Correia & Kacey Ezell
Rating: 1 of 5 Stars DNF@22%
Genre: SFF
Pages: 316 / 70
Words: 127K / 28K

From the Publisher

“Knights had no meaning in this game. It wasn’t a game for knights.” – Raymond Chandler

In a world of criminals, thugs, con artists, cheats, and swindlers, there must be a man to stand against the powers of darkness and corruption. A man not afraid to walk the mean streets—whether they be those of 1930s Los Angeles, an ancient fantasy realm, or some far-flung planet of a future star empire. He is a man who knows that a “good man” is not always a “nice guy.” But when the chips are down, he understands that a hero does the right thing, even if it means losing everything.

He’s a hard man, sure. But an honorable one. He’s a truth-seeker, a score-evener.

He is Sam Spade. He is Philip Marlowe. He is Rick Deckard. He is Harry Dresden.

He is all these men and more.

Now, join Larry Correia and Kacey Ezell as they present all-new stories of fantasy and science fiction with a hardboiled detective bent by today’s top authors.

Grab the bottle of Scotch from your bottom desk drawer. Light a cigarette. Tilt your fedora back on your head. But don’t forget to watch your back. This is No Game for Knights.

Stories by: Laurell K. Hamilton, Larry Correia, Christopher Ruocchio, Michael Haspil, D.J. Butler, Kacey Ezell, Griffin Barber, Robert Buettner, Sharon Shinn, Craig Martelle, Chris Kennedy, S.A. Bailey, G. Scott Huggins, Nicole Givens Kurtz, and Rob Howell.

DNF’d this due to the usual sexual deviancy issues.

Given Correia’s libertarian philosophy, though it is at odds with his mormonism, I’m not surprised. Especially considering the recent (well 2019’ish) changes the mormon leadership have made due to “continuing revelation” on the issue. Correia seems to be very much of a live and let live kind of guy and that’s reflected in his writing and the stuff he edits as well.

★☆☆☆☆

Saturday, June 03, 2023

♪Like A True Nature's Child♪

Because there is nothing more precious than an all natural Bookstooge holding his all natural rockstar baby. Just as Nature Intended, awwwwwwww. (you can tell everything is all natural because of the trees in the background)

Friday, June 02, 2023

Earth and Sky (Bone #21) ★★✬☆☆

Title: Earth and Sky
Series: Bone #21
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 1K

From Boneville.fandom.com

The Two Stupid Rat Creatures bicker over whether to bake Fone Bone, Thorn, and Gran’ma Ben in a quiche, or make stew from their bones. They are interrupted by Gran’ma Ben, attacking them with her sword. They retreat, and Gran’ma gives Thorn her sword, which agitates the rat creatures. Gran’ma suggests that Thorn may be close to The Turning. She interrogates one of the Two Stupid Rat Creatures, who confesses that they have been ordered to evacuate the valley, but is interrupted by Kingdok, who knocks out Thorn and Fone Bone, and attacks Gran’ma Ben. Fone Bone comes to, and calls for the Dragon’s help.

Smiley hears Fone Bone’s faint calling, but Phoney has another problem – the customers are nursing their beers. The pair suggest various possibilities, and Smiley mentions the Midsummer’s Day Picnic, which Lucius kept secret from Phoney. Smiley and Wendell both hear Fone Bone calling, and a search party goes out to find them in the woods. Wendell and Euclid find blood all over the ground and trees.

Kingdok continues to throw Gran’ma Ben through the woods, hitting her against a tree and discussing how much he hates the Flat-Landers. As he is about to kill her, Thorn ambushes Kingdok and slices off his arm with Gran’ma’s sword. He suffers an attack of the Gitchy Feeling, and hallucinates Gran’ma and thorn as queen and princess respectively. He cries out, and the Two Stupid Rat Creatures escort him off into the night. Fone Bone finds Gran’ma Ben and Thorn, and dress Gran’ma’s wounds as she warns Thorn that the Lord of the Locusts is seeking her.

Smith is an absolute MASTER at dragging things out, not telling the readers anything substantive and recycling whole pages of art.

With that being said, I am done with reading Bone issue by issue. I thought I could tough it out until issue #27, but this issue has shown me that I have reached my limit. Starting next month, I am going to be reading the omnibus versions which collect 7-10 issues in each one. I’ll be reading The Dragonslayer in July, which collects issues 20-27. I don’t mind re-reading 2 issues, as it won’t matter.

I am just stunned that Smith has defeated me this way. What boggles my mind even more is how he got through the whole series without the fans simply giving up on him. What kind of person does it take to hold on to a series like this and make it succeed? What kind of, waaaaaaaait for it, BONE HEAD puts up with deliberate shenanigans like this?

★★✬☆☆

All My “Bone” Reviews

Thursday, June 01, 2023

Let It All Bleed Out ★★★★☆

Title: Let It All Bleed Out
Series: ———-
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 172
Words: 69K

From the Inside Cover:

Alfie Doesn’t Mind Being Called Square

Alfred Hitchcock is frankly shocked by the temptations that surround us today. X-rated movies. Sweaty centerfolds. Naughty novels. Kids who used to cut grass now smoking it. All of this fills Alfie with alarm.

Let’s return to old-fashioned fun, he pleads. A nice gory stabbing. A neatly drawn strangler’s noose. A proper pistol shot in the dark. A scream of horror that makes you walk away whistling.

For, as the master shows in this nerve-twisting new collection, fads come and go, but evil is here to stay. So let’s strip the mod clothes off the victims, and—

LET IT ALL BLEED OUT

Table of Contents:

COLD NIGHT ON LAKE LENORE

Jonathan Craig

THE ATTITUDE OF MURDER

Nedra Tyre

HAND

William Brittain

SHERIFF PEAVY’S DOUBLE DEAD CASE (A NOVELETTE)

Richard Hardwick

RICH—OR DEAD

David A. Heller

YELLOW SHOES

Hal Ellson

THE MAN WHO HATED TURKEY (A NOVELETTE)

Elijah Ellis

COFFEE BREAK

Arthur Porges

A PADLOCK FOR CHARLIE DRAPER

James Holding

MAC WITHOUT A KNIFE

Talmage Powell

THE CHINLESS WONDER

Stanley Abbott

NO TEARS FOR AN INFORMER

H. A. De Rosso

A RARE BIRD

John Lutz

THE COMIC OPERA

Henry Woodfin

As much as I really like the stories Hitchcock puts together, I am realizing that having a smaller amount actually works in its favor. Being left wanting more actually enhances the stories I’ve already read. Instead of being a book glutton and gorging myself and feeling sick, having just enough is the correct amount. Looking back over the various books, it seems like 300 pages is the upper limit. After that I start to feel too full and get cranky about stuff I wouldn’t normally.

Cold Night on Lake Lenore was a great opener. A man patiently waits for the perfect opportunity to kill his wife. It arrives but he is seen by another woman, who thinks he did it to be with her. He marries her and the last thought is of him thinking he just has to wait for the perfect opportunity again, and that he’s a patient man. It got me thinking about the kind of people who murder others. I’d like to think that the kind of person who could do something like this (murder someone and yet showing perfect restraint until the “perfect” moment) doesn’t exist, as the willingness to do the one would preclude the ability to do the other, but alas, all you have to do is read the news and you read about some guy who’s killed 3 wives and they only caught him because he got cocky about disposing of the remains of Number 4. Just goes to show humans aren’t just simple blobs of matter, even if that’s a negative example, sigh.

The Chinless Wonder was kind of on the other side. A loser of a man decides that he’s sick of being himself and gets a disguise and creates a new identity and hooks up with some chick. Everything is going extremely well until he gets mixed up with the mob. In the end, the girl and her boyfriend were playing him and set him up for the murder of his alter-ego and then to really nail him, the mob boss. Oh, it was priceless watching the pieces move into place. I wasn’t sure exactly where the story was going but after he helped sink a big sack in the river, I figured it out and like I said, just watched the pieces move into position. It was a thing of wonder.

This was just long enough to satisfy me and yet still leaving me wanting more. The perfect combination really.

★★★★☆

All of My “Alfred Hitchcock” Reviews

Wednesday, May 31, 2023

May '23 Roundup & Ramblings

Raw Data:

Novels – 16 ↑

Short Stories – 1 ↑

Manga/Graphic Novels – 4 ⭤

Comics – 4 ↓

Average Rating – 3.44 ↑

Pages – 4781 ↑

Words – 1369K ↑

The Bad:

Lapvona – 1/2star of vileness

Speaker for the Dead – 2.5stars of cerebral navel gazing

Web of Spiderman Annual #1 – 2.5stars of 13 year old boy wish fulfillment

The Good:

The Black Cauldron – 5stars of middle grade goodness

The Queen of Swords – 5stars of old school fantasy kicking butt and taking names.

The Yellow Sign – 4.5stars of Fantastic Madness realized

Movie:

Shrek the Third was a silly continuation of the franchise, but one I still enjoyed quite a bit despite it admittedly going into stupid territory instead of clever territory.

Miscellaneous Posts:

Personal:

Well, this was a tough month for me. I had an eye bleed (my second in 2 years) and had to get another shot in my left eye to deal with it. If that doesn’t clear it up, I could very well be looking at eye surgery. 3 decades of being a type one diabetic (insulin dependent) are starting to hit me. I honestly expected a heart attack before this. I’ve been mentally prepared since about 16 for the heart attack, so this eye thing has kind of blind sided me (ba dum tish!). In all seriousness though, it is a serious issue and one I’ll be having to deal with from now on. While not as scary as Mrs B being sick at the beginning of the year, this is scary enough and has left me very unsettled. It also pretty much overshadowed everything else for me.

On the fun side of things, Dawie and I were able to play some Warhammer 40K Magic the Gathering. Using whatsapp we took turns and had a couple of rousing games. The final one came down one life point separating the winner from the loser. That’s the kind of Commander game I like. I played the Necron deck while Dawie played Tyranids. Here’s a pix of the commander of the necrons:

Plans for Next Month:

I’ve got the final Shrek movie to watch and review. Then comes the very hard (for me) chore of figuring out what I’m going to watch and review next. For whatever reason, movies and tv shows are just wicked hard to review. Watching them seems like work sometimes and then adding talking about them? But I’ll soldier on. I’ve talked with people at various times about potential projects, but I never end up writing them down and so I forget.

So it will be review, review, review. I’ve got a few ideas for non-review posts but they’ll probably be spur of the moment silliness. My days of addressing current social issues with deep and thoughtful posts are done. Senator Bookstooge, that hoary headed font of wisdom, has retired from the political arena. I’ll leave it to the young bucks.

I’ve also been thinking how crowded my posting schedule has become. It is becoming more of hindrance than anything. To me and to the readers. I’ve come across blogs where so much posting goes on that it is hard to keep up. I don’t want to become that and I’m already well down that path. So something has to change in that regards. I’ve got a couple of ideas.

One is to simply cut down the number of book reviews I do. The problem is that I’ve tried that and while I always have the best of intentions, well, it never seems to work out the way I want. I just keep reading those books! Of the making of books there is no end and of the reading and reviewing of books there is no end either. Sigh.

The second option is to start another blog and post certain categories there and not here. Off the top of my head I’d probably put the magic cards, manga and comics over there. That would immediately free up 3 days a week here. So I might actually have some empty days, which would be nice. The main problem is that while the actual work load wouldn’t increase, the act of figuring out what goes where and dealing with all the setup of a new blog, could be daunting. Plus, since I’m such a stickler, I’d be figuring out all the silly stuff like tags and links. What about my Author Index? Suddenly I’d be having to link to two blogs to deal with that. I can just foresee there being problems, which is why I’ve always kept everything at one blog every time I did a blog.

If there is a third option, or if any of you have some ideas, I’m all ears. Input would be appreciated. This is something I’ll be giving some serious thought to over the coming month and will try to arrive at a decision for July.

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

A Pelican at Blandings (Blandings Castle #11) ★★★★☆

Title: A Pelican at Blandings
Series: Blandings Castle #11
Authors: PG Wodehouse
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Humor
Pages: 185
Words: 66K

From Wikipedia:

Lord Emsworth is in clover at Blandings, with the only guest, Howard Chesney, easily avoided by eating alone in the library. His peace is shattered by the arrival of his sister Connie, along with a friend she has met on the boat over from America, Vanessa Polk, and the news that Dunstable is soon to descend upon the castle adds to his misery. Desperate, he calls on his brother Gally for aid.

Gally is in London, meeting his godson Johnny Halliday, who announces his engagement to Dunstable’s niece Linda. He hurries to the castle, sharing a train carriage with Dunstable, who tells Gally how he has bought a painting of a reclining nude, having heard how anxious the wealthy Wilbur Trout is to buy it; Dunstable plans to bring Trout to Blandings to sell him the picture at a large profit.

At the castle, Connie urges Dunstable to cosy up with Vanessa Polk, her father’s wealth proving an easy lure, and Emsworth’s woes are compounded by his beloved Empress’ refusal to eat a potato. Gally hears from Linda that her engagement to Halliday is no more, and Halliday himself visits, to explain the incident, a grilling he was obliged to give Linda as a witness in a court case he was defending, which led to their split. He begs Gally to invite him to the castle, but Gally, explaining his position in Connie’s bad books, sends him home, promising to do his best on his behalf.

Wilbur Trout arrives, and we learn that Vanessa Polk was once engaged to him, and still harbours tender feelings. He tells her the tale of Dunstable’s treachery, and she hatches a plan to steal the painting. In London, Halliday hears from his partner Joe Bender that the painting sold to Dunstable was a fake, and he calls in Gally’s help. The capable old Pelican arranges to swap the real picture for the fake, but decides to take a bath before replacing the original in the empty frame.

Emsworth, visiting his pig after a worrying dream, falls into the muddy sty, then finds himself locked out, Gally having turned the key on his return from meeting Johnny. He enters the house via Dunstable’s rooms, waking up the Duke when surprised by a cat, and later returns to wake the Duke again when he sees the empty frame. When the rest of the household see the picture, now replaced by Gally, the Duke’s low opinion of Emsworth’s sanity persuades him to call in psychiatric help; Gally recommends Johnny, who he pretends is Sir Roderick Glossop’s junior partner.

Vanessa Polk, having spotted him for a crook, persuades Chesney to help her steal the painting, but he recognises Halliday, newly arrived at the castle, as the attorney who defended him after an earlier crime went wrong. He plans to leave to avoid being unmasked and return by night for the painting, but seeing Halliday at the top of the stairs, pushes him down. Halliday falls, taking Dunstable with him, and while he angers the Duke he endears himself to Linda, who finds herself kissing his face as he lies prone in the hallway. Linda, now firmly in favour of Halliday, reveals she cannot marry without Dunstable’s consent, which he refuses after the stairs incident, and also having recalled Halliday’s father, who he never got on with.

Connie calls Glossop’s office, finds Halliday is an imposter and ejects him from the castle. Trout and Vanessa meet up in the night to steal the painting, but Chesney fails to turn up, having crashed his car on the way. The two realise they love each other, and leave next morning to get married. Connie insists that Dunstable write to Vanessa proposing marriage; but the letter is intercepted by Gally, who shares with Dunstable his knowledge that Vanessa is not really an heiress, and makes the Duke allow the wedding of Linda and Johnny in exchange for the return of his letter, under threat of a breach of promise suit if it were to reach Vanessa. Connie is recalled to America by her husband, and the Duke returns home, leaving Emsworth once again master of his domain.

A nice light and amusing read that kept me happy for a couple of hours. That’s all I ask of these books and thankfully, they provide it in spades.

My only issue is that I know I only have one more Blandings Castle book to read. So that kind of cast a melancholic cloud over the time.

★★★★☆

Monday, May 29, 2023

The Yellow Sign (The King in Yellow Anthology #8) ★★★★✬

Title: The Yellow Sign
Series: The King in Yellow Anthology #8
Editor: James Hodge
Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Cosmic Horror
Pages: 199
Words: 72K

From the Publisher & Bookstooge.blog

FBI Agent Erica Blaine has suffered more than most. After narrowly escaping being at the center of a cult sacrifice she’d been tasked with infiltrating, Erica has spent the last few months hitting the bottle, trying to avoid dealing with the trauma of what she experienced and those she couldn’t save. Her ruined hands, always gloved, are an unavoidable reminder of her pain and anguish.

As is the voice that won’t allow her a moment of peace.

But when her old Army buddy goes missing under suspicious circumstances, Erica is pulled back into the Lovecraftian world of cult infiltration. The Yellow College welcomes her with open arms, but as her sanity crumbles beneath the weight of hallucinations, old traumas, and lost memories, how can she expect to save her friend when she can barely tell what’s real and what isn’t?

Have you seen the shores of Carcosa?

The Yellow College believes that Erica is the chosen vessel for the King in Yellow to manifest himself in. This will usher in a new age as the King reigns openly. What they don’t know is that the King has his own plans, for them, for Erica and for the world.

In the end, the college sacrifices itself in a feeding frenzy of madness and despair and Erica becomes a synthesis of herself and the King in Yellow, a new being called Nihilo. Who will bring death, destruction and madness everywhere she walks.

This starts out slow. But being familiar with how the mythology of the King in Yellow always works itself out, I was expecting that. I could see how that would be off putting to those who are either familiar with King in Yellow mythology or have not read much beyond the original 4 stories by Chambers. I would NOT recommend this as a starting place for people to read more of the King in Yellow.

This was published in ‘22 and I think I’ve made the right choice at placing it as #8 in this “series” about the King in Yellow. It is also a full novel. Most of what has been written before has been short stories. Those are easier to pull off and can rely on The Idea. A novel takes a lot more work and has other limitations that a short story doesn’t. Like characterization and plot.

I felt like Hodge did an admirable job of writing up a full length novel around the concept of the King in Yellow. With an FBI agent as the main character investigating cult like behavior, I wasn’t sure if he was going to try for the “happy ending” or the real deal King in Yellow type ending. Thankfully, he chose to go with a real King in Yellow ending and that pushed this from a 3.5star rating up to it’s 4.5star rating. I was very pleased with just how gruesomely this ended, with the promise of continuing madness (not that there is more story to tell, but that the character of Nihilo will continue on the Earth).

There are two things that kept this from getting a 5star rating from me. First and foremost, was the just plain gratuitous use of the word “fuck”. I felt like it was thrown around like a teenage girl uses “like yeah, duh”. It didn’t really convey anything except Erica’s dissatisfaction with a situation and that was already shown in other ways, so it just felt gratuitous. If you took them out, nothing would have changed. The second, which is more of a niggle than anything, was that Hodge’s interpretation of the King is more Cthulhu’ic than pure King in Yellow. When Erica meets the King, he is described in terms that are more fitting to an eldritch tentacled horror than the King of Madness as Chamber’s described him. I like my King in Yellow to be completely separate from the Cthulhu mythos, even while I realize that particular boat has sailed. Like I said, a mere niggle.

I believe this was Hodge’s debut work and as such I am planning to keep an eye out for anything else he writes. I couldn’t find a website for him, but I also didn’t look that hard. I’m not a fan of authors as people, just authors as authors.

★★★★✬

Circle of Protection: Artifacts - MTG 4th Edition

Sunday, May 28, 2023

The Drawing of the Dark ★★★☆☆

Title: The Drawing of the Dark
Series: ———-
Author: Tim Powers
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 311
Words: 111K

From Wikipedia.org

The year is 1529, and Brian Duffy, a world-weary Irish mercenary soldier, is hired in Venice by the mysterious Aurelianus to go to Vienna and work as a bouncer at the Zimmerman Inn, former monastery and current brewery of the famous Herzwesten beer.

Meanwhile, the Ottoman Turkish army under Sultan Suleiman I has achieved its most advanced position yet in their march into Europe, and is prepared to undertake the siege of Vienna. With the Turkish army travels the Grand Vizier Ibrahim, a magician who intends to use horrific spells as part of the siege.

Duffy spent time in Vienna years ago, and as he returns, he is haunted by memories of past events, and also finds himself having visions of mythical creatures and being ambushed by shadowy people and demonic monsters.

Upon arriving in Vienna, Duffy reconnects with Epiphany Vogel, a former girlfriend, and her father Gustav, who is working on a painting he calls “The Death of St. Michael the Archangel”. It seems the painting is never quite complete, and the elder Vogel is continuously adding additional detail to the work, causing it to gradually become more and more obscure.

Then Duffy finds himself not only drafted into the city’s defensive army, but also led by Aurelianus down mystical paths from the surprisingly old brewery to even more ancient caves beneath the city, in search of defenses against the approaching army and clues to Duffy’s very nature.

As it turns out, Aurelianus knows more about Duffy and his past than Duffy himself knows, and his real purpose in hiring him is to protect the hidden Fisher King, secret spiritual leader of the western world, and to defend him and the West against the Turkish advance. And the real reason that Vienna must not be captured by the Turks is that it is the site of the Herzwesten brewery. Its light and bock beers are famous throughout Europe, but the dark beer, produced only every seven hundred years, has supernatural properties and must not be allowed to fall into enemy hands.

Meanwhile, others are drawn to Vienna in anticipation of significant events. The so-called “dark birds”, magically sensitive individuals from far flung corners of the world, arrive in the city hoping for a sip of the Herzwesten dark, and a small group of middle-aged Vikings have improbably sailed their ship down the Danube River to Vienna, having sensed that the prophesied final battle of Ragnarok will take place there.

This book can be summed up with the tabloid headline “Magical Beer Saves Western Civilization – read more on page 3”. It is ridiculous.

Not a bad novel, but I simply couldn’t get past the ridiculousness of the premise. Powers like playing with history and showing a “secret history” behind the events we all know and as such, I thought he did an excellent job here.

But I cannot get past Magical Beer saving civilization as we know it. I can’t. So 3 stars for a solid “secret history” fantasy but that’s as far as I’m willing to stretch here.

★★★☆☆

All of My “Tim Powers” Reviews

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Literature Meme

Hahahahahaa, this still cracks me up, even after seeing it in my draft pile for over a year.
/wipes eyes

Ahhh, a good laugh is just what the doctor ordered.