Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road

Monday, June 26, 2023

Circle of Protection: Red - MTG 4th Edition

Sunday, June 25, 2023

The Castle of Llyr (The Prydain Chronicles #3) 5Stars

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Title: The Castle of Llyr
Series: The Prydain Chronicles #3
Author: Lloyd Alexander
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 102
Words: 43K

From Wikipedia.org

Eighteen months after the destruction of the Black Cauldron, Dallben the enchanter has decided that Eilonwy, as a princess and last of the line of the House of Llyr, needs a proper royal lady’s education that he cannot provide. He sends her to reside at Dinas Rhydnant, a royal court on the Isle of Mona, in the west of Prydain. Taran and Gurgi escort her to Mona on a ship belonging to Prince Rhun, a cheerful but incompetent youth. Taran is finally aware of his feelings for Eilonwy, but is saddened that he is a commoner and she a princess and envies Rhun’s noble birth.

While Eilonwy is introduced to the tedium of life at court, Taran encounters his old companion Fflewddur Fflam—a minor king who lives as a wandering bard—and a shoemaker who turns out to be Prince Gwydion, traveling incognito. Gwydion tells Taran that Eilonwy is in grave danger, very likely from the evil sorceress Achren, from whom Taran and Eilonwy escaped in The Book of Three. Taran and Gwydion witness Chief Steward Magg leave the castle at night to signal a ship at sea. The next morning, Magg and Eilonwy do not show for breakfast and it is concluded that Magg has kidnapped the princess. King Rhuddlum organizes search parties, with Prince Rhun in charge of one. The king assigns Taran to the same group and personally asks him to protect his son Rhun during the search, confiding to Taran that he and Queen Teleria hope to betroth their son to Eilonwy. Although resentful and envious, Taran vows to ensure Rhun’s safety.

Shortly before dusk, Rhun separates from the group. Taran, Fflewddur, and Gurgi pursue, and the next morning they find Rhun at an abandoned hut in the woods. Inside, they find a small book of blank pages that Rhun keeps for himself, along with a sheaf of notes belonging to the former resident, Glew, a man who experimented with size-enhancement potions. As the companions prepare to leave, they come face to face with Llyan, a mountain cat that Glew made larger than a horse, seemingly intending to eat them. Fflewddur entrances the cat with his harp playing, allowing the companions to escape.

Taran’s pet crow Kaw spots Magg and Eilonwy heading for the river Alaw on horseback. Reaching the river, Rhun finds Eilonwy’s bauble and tracks indicating Magg and Eilonwy continued their journey by boat. The companions hastily construct a raft to follow downstream, but it disintegrates before reaching the mouth of the river. While repairing the raft, Rhun tumbles into a deep pit and causes a landslide that traps the group. Exploring nearby caverns, the companions eventually find Glew, who is now a giant trapped in the caverns by his enhanced size. The companions promise him Dallben’s aid in creating an antidote to his potion, while Glew promises to lead them out of the caverns. Instead, Glew takes the companions to a dead-end and traps them. Glew explains he already knows how to make an antidote that will decrease his size, but he must kill one of the companions for a final ingredient. Glew leaves, promising to free the others if one of them agrees to be a sacrifice for his antidote. Rhun surprises everyone by volunteering to sacrifice himself, believing he is burden to all and incompetent to rule.

Before Glew returns, the companions notice an exit above their heads and convince Rhun to let them help him reach it. As he escapes, Rhun promises to return to the city and bring help. When Glew returns, Taran, Fflewddur, and Gurgi break out and attack him. Rhun does not leave the area but instead doubles back, guided by the light of Eilonwy’s bauble. Having grown accustomed to the darkness of the caverns, Glew is overwhelmed by the bauble’s light, allowing the companions to escape. Taran discovers that under the light of the bauble, Rhun’s book of blank pages is revealed to be filled with writing, though none of them can read the language.

Reaching the mouth of Alaw on the reconstructed raft, the companions reunite with Gwydion, who reveals that he has visited the northeast offshore ruin of Caer Colur, the ancestral home of the House of Llyr, where Eilonwy’s grandmother Queen Regat was the last in the line of women to reign. Against Regat’s wishes, Eilonwy’s mother, Angharad, married the common man Geraint and left Caer Colur, taking a book of the House of Llyr’s most powerful enchantments, as well as the Golden Pelydryn necessary to read them. Gwydion tells Taran and the companions that Eilonwy’s bauble is, in fact, the long-lost Golden Pelydryn, and that the book of seemingly blank pages found in Glew’s house is actually Angharad’s book of spells. Gwydion explains that Eilonwy had not been sent to live with Achren to study magic as a child, as Eilonwy had believed; rather, Achren had kidnapped the princess and taken her to Spiral Castle with the intention of harnessing the House of Llyr’s magic for her own ends.

Gwydion explains he has seen Achren, Magg, and Eilonwy arrive at Caer Colur with several mercenary guards. Achren hopes to rule Prydain by controlling Eilonwy’s mind while also awakening her full ancestral magical power. That night, Gwydion rows their raft to a point of land below the seaward walls that protect the ruins of Caer Colur from the being flooded by the ocean, hiding the book and bauble before they begin their search for the princess. Taran climbs to the tower room where Eilonwy resides, only to find that she does not recognize him or the names of her former companions. She flees from her room and Taran follows, but he is arrested by Magg. Gwydion, Fflewddur, and Gurgi then struggle with Magg and several guards, until Eilonwy and Achren appear, the princess now fully under the witch’s control. Achren needs the spell book to master her control of the House of Llyr’s magic, and Rhun stupidly reveals that he and the companions know its location. Achren turns to Taran and offers a bargain: she will restore Eilonwy’s memories of him and allow them to wed if the young man helps her acquire the book and bauble. Rather than force Taran to decide or be punished for refusing, Gwydion reveals the location of the items.

Eilonwy is given the two heirlooms and begins to examine the book in the light of the bauble. While doing so, she begins to resist Achren’s spell. Calling upon the full power of the Pelydryn, she incinerates the book in a column of crimson flame rather than let it be abused. Achren aims her fury at Magg, who responds by opening the gates that protect the castle from the sea. He then escapes on the only ship with his surviving guards. As the castle floods, Taran loses consciousness.

Taran awakes to discover the companions have reached the shallows alive, thanks to the still-enchanted Llyan pulling them up the beach. Eilonwy explains how she was kidnapped by Magg and lost her bauble en route to Caer Colur. Before leaving the sea, she finds a ceremonial horn that has washed ashore, remarking that this artifact is “all that’s left of Caer Colur.” She gives the horn to Taran as token of her pledge that she will not forget him during her tenure at Dinas Rhydnant. Having no gift of his own to give to her, Taran can pledge only his word in return, but notes that the word of an Assistant Pig-Keeper “shall do very well indeed.” Taran then mentions the hope of Prince Rhun’s parents that he and Eilonwy will be engaged. Eilonwy scolds him for taking such a hope seriously.

I am absolutely loving this re-read. Every book so far has lived beyond my expectations from my 2006 read. Simple but solid literary fare, lacking the seasoning of a Sanderson that book gluttons have come to expect now, but giving a reader everything they actually need without all the extraneous literary fat that eventually kills. We are a world of ultra-obese readers, enabling authors to shove literary fat directly down our throats. We are the enablers of our own destruction. Well, you all are the enablers. I’m a lone voice in the wilderness, eating locusts and honey telling you fatsos to kick the habit. I don’t expect you to listen to me though.

Ok, enough of that! (for this review anyway)

This introduced the romance element in an age appropriate manner. Both Taran and Eilonwy are growing up and to ignore this part of life would be an oversight on the author’s part. He is showing both these characters becoming adults and I think he handles it quite well. Besides the series long growth arc of both Taran and Eilonwy, we also got a mini-arc of Prince Rhun. He’s a bumbling doofus, not because he’s stupid, but just because he’s one of those people who don’t quite go as smoothly through life as the rest of us. But by the end you could see he was beginning to find his footing. That was really good to see.

While I suspect I would not be giving these books 5stars if I was reading them for the first time now, the fact that I am re-reading them, enjoying them and finding a much needed respite from bloated series, bloated stories and even, “world building” (gasp! Say it ain’t so!), means I having the time of my life with these.

On a side note, I am going to start using a regular star rating in the title of my posts. Google Search Console is choking its guts out over my use of “★” in the title because WordPress will redirect any search queries to a version of the page without them as it comes out as a long-ass string of text. I just have to go and complicate things, don’t I? Well, c’est la vie…

★★★★★

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Blogshido: Taekommentdo

Previously on “Blogshido: The Way of the Blogger” I discussed my reasoning for doing my monthly roundup & ramblings posts. Today, I would like to discuss another aspect of blogshido, namely, commenting.

Taekwondo is a martial art form where, according to wikipedia, “punching and kicking techniques, with emphasis on head-height kicks, spinning jump kicks, and fast kicking techniques.” are the way to victory. That tells me that taekwondo isn’t fooling around. It is short, it is sharp, it is trying to get it’s job done in the fastest and deadliest way possible. In martial arts, you’re trying to destroy your opponent and taekwondo excels at that.

I rigorously practice taekommentdo every day. I might go so far as to say that besides the main art of blogshido, that taekommentdo is the particular art of blogging that I love the most. But just like all other aspects of Blogshido, it is highly personalized. I have gone so far down the path of taekommentdo that my mastery of this form might look completely different from another master’s form. My foundational belief is that no comment is wasted. Just like a punch, it doesn’t matter if it breaks your opponents ribcage or not, they are forced to react and thus you can control the battle. The same principle applies to taekommentdo. When I leave a comment on someone’s post, I have taken control of the blogging narrative. A good opponent will know how to roll with that and thus can begin a long and enjoyable battle. But sometimes a quick kick to the nads is all that is needed and the battle is done.

Whatever form you choose to master in taekommentdo, the most essential part is practice, practice, practice. Your words are your weapons. Only you can use them. Do not let them rust and tarnish from disuse. Keep them sharp and shiny by constant use. Thus you will grow the will of a warrior deep inside yourself. Plus, it’s easier to kick someone’s head off if you practice doing that everyday. Otherwise you’re liable to pull a hamstring. Do not let Master Fnog’s prophecy be true about you!

Sensei Bookstooge will now dismiss you all to practice.

~bows~

Friday, June 23, 2023

The Friend of the Family (The Russians) ★★★✬☆

Title: The Friend of the Family
Series: (The Russians)
Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Translator: Garnett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 190
Words: 60K

From Wikipedia:

Sergey Alexandrovich, the narrator, is summoned from St. Petersburg to the estate of his uncle, Colonel Yegor Ilyich Rostanev, and finds that a middle-aged charlatan named Foma Fomich Opiskin has swindled the nobles around him into believing that he is virtuous despite behavior that is passive-aggressive, selfish, and spiteful. Foma obliges the servants to learn French, and gets furious when they are caught dancing the kamarinskaya.

Uncle Yegor asks Sergey to marry the poor young girl Nastenka. It turns out Uncle Yegor is in love with her himself, but Foma wants him to marry the wealthy Tatyana Ivanova instead. Tatyana has several other suitors, including Mizinchikov, who confides in Sergey about his plans to elope with her.

The next morning Tatyana has eloped, not with Mizinchikov but with Obnoskin, who acted under the influence of his mother. After a pursuit Tatyana returns voluntarily. At Stepanchikovo Foma Fomich is furious because Uncle Yegor has been caught red-handed during an assignation in the garden with Nastenka. Foma leaves, but falls into a ditch. The inhabitants beg him to come back. A general reconciliation follows after Foma, manipulating as ever, gives his blessing to a marriage between Uncle Yegor and Nastenka.

This has an alternate title, The Village of Stepanchikovo, but I decided to go with the more western friendly title. Because there is no way I am EVER going to remember a title with Stepanchikovo in the title. 5 flipping syllables folks, for one word. While the title I chose has only 6 syllables in the entire title. Maybe if I was russian Stepanchikovo (I copy/pasted the alternate title from wikipedia and even now have to look at that to figure out to spell the blasted name) would roll off my tongue and be as easy to remember as, say, Quarryville, but I am not russian and so it doesn’t roll off my tongue and it is not as easy to remember as Quarryville.

This was supposed to be an amusing, ironic and biting read. We’re supposed to laugh at the idiocy of Foma ruling the roosts even though he is just a guest and a very poor guest at that. We’re supposed to chuckle at the poor Uncle who is over run by his mother, Foma (the “friend” in the title) and pretty much everyone.

Unfortunately, I didn’t find it particularly amusing. The Uncle and the Nephew (the narrator) are both spineless men who won’t stand up to anyone about anything. While the book is supposed to be showcasing Foma as a caricature, I really found the portrayal of the uncle and nephew more enlightening and rather sad. I wanted to shake both of them by the neck several times and by the end just wanted the story to end. Even though the uncle gets his way about getting married to the girl he loves, Foma still manipulates everything so he gets to stay in the house until he dies. What a free loader!

Speaking of the uncle and marriage. He’s in his mid-40’s I think (it’s kind of tough to tell but since his mother is still alive and he has a nephew in his 20’s, that seems right) and several times he’s just presented as this super old guy, even though Foma is older than him and his mother is still alive. And then he marries the poor governess, who is 17. They wuuuuuuv each other. But I just don’t see how that kind of age difference works out except in exceptional cases. I’m in my mid-40’s and know some teenagers and I’d sooner marry a grandma than one of them. No offense to them, but the generation gap feels very large every time I interact with them. For example. I was talking with some of them about movies and one of the girls brought up the movie Call of the Wild. I asked if it was based on the book by Jack London. None of them knew who Jack London was. Then I asked who was in the movie. Another girl named Actor X, who was in Movie/tv show Y. I had no idea who they were talking about. Once home I googled it. Flipping Harrison Ford was in the cast and that didn’t cross their radar at all. They don’t know who Han Solo is. They don’t know who Indiana Jones is.

I realize that with technology, generation gaps happen quicker and closer together now. Maybe back in Russia in the 1800’s it wasn’t the same, but Fathers and Sons explores that very issue and shows it WAS a real issue for them just as it is for me today. So that was a niggle in the back of my mind.

I can see why this isn’t famous like some of Dostoyevsky’s other works but it was a valuable read in terms of broadening my horizons and become more familiar with his works. We’ll see if I even remember anything about this story in 5 years though, hahahahhaa (when I’m senile!)

★★★✬☆

Thursday, June 22, 2023

Killer’s Choice (87th Precinct) ★★★✬☆

Title: Killer’s Choice
Series: 87^th Precinct
Author: Ed McBain
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 97
Words: 44K

From the Publisher and Bookstooge.blog

Annie Boone is dead. She was shot four times in the chest, pieces of the liquor store’s windows spread over her body like raindrops from a lethal storm. For 87th Precinct Detectives Carella, Kling, and newcomer Hawes, even more troubling is the loss of one of their own. Detective Roger Havilland is murdered shortly thereafter, a shard of glass through his jugular.

Faced with a host of suspects—from Annie’s former mother-in-law to her ex-husband, employer, and a string of boyfriends—the detectives find themselves with a victim whose identity spurns all conventional definition. She was the store’s saleswoman…as well as a divorced mother, pool shark, society lady, drunk, and patron of the ballet. Each facet of her life has a corresponding potential suspect. The only way for Carella and the men to find her killer—and maybe that of Havilland, too—is to find out who she really was. The problem is, the only one who really knew her died in a shower of glass.

Turns out the woman was having an affair with the owner of the store and the man’s wife got tired of him cheating on her. So she killed her competition. She would have gotten away with it too except she sent the murdered woman a gloating note and said note was written on a torn off piece of vehicle registration, which had the wife’s info all over it.

There are times I do not understand why one of these books is super gritty and makes me feel horrible while at other times, like this particular book, its like I’m just reading a newspaper report with zero emotional impact.

This was one of those cases where the victim had portrayed herself to each person who knew her as somebody different. Why, we’re never told. But it made life really hard for the detectives and made me glad I’m a land surveyor and all I have to worry about is poison ivy, stepping on ground nests of hornets and abutters who are dumb as bricks and don’t even know it. I can deal with those things!

I’m glad this didn’t hit me like some of the previous books. Means I can keep on reading the series.

★★★✬☆

All My “87^th Precinct” Reviews

Wednesday, June 21, 2023

Hamlet ★★★✬☆

Title: Hamlet
Author: William Shakespeare
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Play
Pages: 347
Words: 97K

From Wikipedia:

Act I

Prince Hamlet of Denmark is the son of the recently deceased King Hamlet, and nephew of King Claudius, his father’s brother and successor. Claudius hastily married King Hamlet’s widow, Gertrude, Hamlet’s mother, and took the throne for himself. Denmark has a long-standing feud with neighbouring Norway, in which King Hamlet slew King Fortinbras of Norway in a battle some years ago. Although Denmark defeated Norway and the Norwegian throne fell to King Fortinbras’s infirm brother, Denmark fears that an invasion led by the dead Norwegian king’s son, Prince Fortinbras, is imminent.

On a cold night on the ramparts of Elsinore, the Danish royal castle, the sentries Bernardo and Marcellus discuss a ghost resembling the late King Hamlet which they have recently seen, and bring Prince Hamlet’s friend Horatio as a witness. After the ghost appears again, the three vow to tell Prince Hamlet what they have witnessed.

The court gathers the next day, and King Claudius and Queen Gertrude discuss affairs of state with their elderly adviser Polonius. Claudius grants permission for Polonius’s son Laertes to return to school in France, and he sends envoys to inform the King of Norway about Fortinbras. Claudius also questions Hamlet regarding his continuing to grieve for his father, and forbids him to return to his university in Wittenberg. After the court exits, Hamlet despairs of his father’s death and his mother’s hasty remarriage. Learning of the ghost from Horatio, Hamlet resolves to see it himself.

As Polonius’s son Laertes prepares to depart for France, Polonius offers him advice that culminates in the maxim “to thine own self be true.”[5] Polonius’s daughter, Ophelia, admits her interest in Hamlet, but Laertes warns her against seeking the prince’s attention, and Polonius orders her to reject his advances. That night on the rampart, the ghost appears to Hamlet, tells the prince that he was murdered by Claudius, and demands that Hamlet avenge the murder. Hamlet agrees, and the ghost vanishes. The prince confides to Horatio and the sentries that from now on he plans to “put an antic disposition on”, or act as though he has gone mad. Hamlet forces them to swear to keep his plans for revenge secret; however, he remains uncertain of the ghost’s reliability.

Act II

Ophelia rushes to her father, telling him that Hamlet arrived at her door the prior night half-undressed and behaving erratically. Polonius blames love for Hamlet’s madness and resolves to inform Claudius and Gertrude. As he enters to do so, the king and queen are welcoming Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, two student acquaintances of Hamlet, to Elsinore. The royal couple has requested that the two students investigate the cause of Hamlet’s mood and behaviour. Additional news requires that Polonius wait to be heard: messengers from Norway inform Claudius that the king of Norway has rebuked Prince Fortinbras for attempting to re-fight his father’s battles. The forces that Fortinbras had conscripted to march against Denmark will instead be sent against Poland, though they will pass through Danish territory to get there.

Polonius tells Claudius and Gertrude his theory regarding Hamlet’s behaviour, and then speaks to Hamlet in a hall of the castle to try to learn more. Hamlet feigns madness and subtly insults Polonius all the while. When Rosencrantz and Guildenstern arrive, Hamlet greets his “friends” warmly but quickly discerns that they are there to spy on him for Claudius. Hamlet admits that he is upset at his situation but refuses to give the true reason, instead remarking “What a piece of work is a man”. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern tell Hamlet that they have brought along a troupe of actors that they met while travelling to Elsinore. Hamlet, after welcoming the actors and dismissing his friends-turned-spies, asks them to deliver a soliloquy about the death of King Priam and Queen Hecuba at the climax of the Trojan War. Hamlet then asks the actors to stage The Murder of Gonzago, a play featuring a death in the style of his father’s murder. Hamlet intends to study Claudius’s reaction to the play, and thereby determine the truth of the ghost’s story of Claudius’s guilt.

Act III

Polonius forces Ophelia to return Hamlet’s love letters to the prince while he and Claudius secretly watch in order to evaluate Hamlet’s reaction. Hamlet is walking alone in the hall as the King and Polonius await Ophelia’s entrance. Hamlet muses on thoughts of life versus death. When Ophelia enters and tries to return Hamlet’s things, Hamlet accuses her of immodesty and cries “get thee to a nunnery”, though it is unclear whether this, too, is a show of madness or genuine distress. His reaction convinces Claudius that Hamlet is not mad for love. Shortly thereafter, the court assembles to watch the play Hamlet has commissioned. After seeing the Player King murdered by his rival pouring poison in his ear, Claudius abruptly rises and runs from the room; for Hamlet, this is proof of his uncle’s guilt.

Hamlet mistakenly stabs Polonius (Artist: Coke Smyth, 19th century).

Gertrude summons Hamlet to her chamber to demand an explanation. Meanwhile, Claudius talks to himself about the impossibility of repenting, since he still has possession of his ill-gotten goods: his brother’s crown and wife. He sinks to his knees. Hamlet, on his way to visit his mother, sneaks up behind him but does not kill him, reasoning that killing Claudius while he is praying will send him straight to heaven while his father’s ghost is stuck in purgatory. In the queen’s bedchamber, Hamlet and Gertrude fight bitterly. Polonius, spying on the conversation from behind a tapestry, calls for help as Gertrude, believing Hamlet wants to kill her, calls out for help herself.

Hamlet, believing it is Claudius, stabs wildly, killing Polonius, but he pulls aside the curtain and sees his mistake. In a rage, Hamlet brutally insults his mother for her apparent ignorance of Claudius’s villainy, but the ghost enters and reprimands Hamlet for his inaction and harsh words. Unable to see or hear the ghost herself, Gertrude takes Hamlet’s conversation with it as further evidence of madness. After begging the queen to stop sleeping with Claudius, Hamlet leaves, dragging Polonius’s corpse away.

Act IV

Hamlet jokes with Claudius about where he has hidden Polonius’s body, and the king, fearing for his life, sends Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to accompany Hamlet to England with a sealed letter to the English king requesting that Hamlet be executed immediately.

Unhinged by grief at Polonius’s death, Ophelia wanders Elsinore. Laertes arrives back from France, enraged by his father’s death and his sister’s madness. Claudius convinces Laertes that Hamlet is solely responsible, but a letter soon arrives indicating that Hamlet has returned to Denmark, foiling Claudius’s plan. Claudius switches tactics, proposing a fencing match between Laertes and Hamlet to settle their differences. Laertes will be given a poison-tipped foil, and, if that fails, Claudius will offer Hamlet poisoned wine as a congratulation. Gertrude interrupts to report that Ophelia has drowned, though it is unclear whether it was suicide or an accident caused by her madness.

Act V

Horatio has received a letter from Hamlet, explaining that the prince escaped by negotiating with pirates who attempted to attack his England-bound ship, and the friends reunite offstage. Two gravediggers discuss Ophelia’s apparent suicide while digging her grave. Hamlet arrives with Horatio and banters with one of the gravediggers, who unearths the skull of a jester from Hamlet’s childhood, Yorick. Hamlet picks up the skull, saying “Alas, poor Yorick” as he contemplates mortality. Ophelia’s funeral procession approaches, led by Laertes. Hamlet and Horatio initially hide, but when Hamlet realizes that Ophelia is the one being buried, he reveals himself, proclaiming his love for her. Laertes and Hamlet fight by Ophelia’s graveside, but the brawl is broken up.

Back at Elsinore, Hamlet explains to Horatio that he had discovered Claudius’s letter with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern’s belongings and replaced it with a forged copy indicating that his former friends should be killed instead. A foppish courtier, Osric, interrupts the conversation to deliver the fencing challenge to Hamlet. Hamlet, despite Horatio’s pleas, accepts it. Hamlet does well at first, leading the match by two hits to none, and Gertrude raises a toast to him using the poisoned glass of wine Claudius had set aside for Hamlet. Claudius tries to stop her but is too late: she drinks, and Laertes realizes the plot will be revealed. Laertes slashes Hamlet with his poisoned blade. In the ensuing scuffle, they switch weapons, and Hamlet wounds Laertes with his own poisoned sword. Gertrude collapses and, claiming she has been poisoned, dies. In his dying moments, Laertes reconciles with Hamlet and reveals Claudius’s plan. Hamlet rushes at Claudius and kills him. As the poison takes effect, Hamlet, hearing that Fortinbras is marching through the area, names the Norwegian prince as his successor. Horatio, distraught at the thought of being the last survivor and living whilst Hamlet does not, says he will commit suicide by drinking the dregs of Gertrude’s poisoned wine, but Hamlet begs him to live on and tell his story. Hamlet dies in Horatio’s arms, proclaiming “the rest is silence”. Fortinbras, who was ostensibly marching towards Poland with his army, arrives at the palace, along with an English ambassador bringing news of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern’s deaths. Horatio promises to recount the full story of what happened, and Fortinbras, seeing the entire Danish royal family dead, takes the crown for himself and orders a military funeral to honour Hamlet.

Reading this, I can understand why it is as popular as it is. I enjoyed this but had one serious problem with it.

To find out what that problem is, please insert 10dollars/euros/gallonsofsyrup/poundsofgold/whateveryouuseforcurrency and I will send you a special link initiating you into the mysteries of Shakespeare and what my problem with him is.

What’s that? You don’t care enough to pay money to hear my opinion, which you already hear too much of for free? Gadzooks! I hadn’t thought of that. Fine, you talked me into it, I’ll tell you my opinion for free, this time! But watch out, for I shall send 3 ghosts to visit you to help you stop being such a skinflint. When the clock strikes midnight! Reeeeemembeeeer, wheeeeen the cloooock strikes midniiiiight!

Why did Hamlet pretend to go mad to get his revenge on his uncle? Why not just kill the guy and tell your mom you knew she had killed your dad so she could shack up with his brother and give her the choice of taking poison or getting a real close haircut with your sword? Why the elaborate play of insanity that by the end seems to have become the real thing?

I thought going into things that Hamlet had a plan. Apparently not. That bugged me. You gotta have a plan. Otherwise it’s not worth doing. As Hamlet found out when he died by a poisoned sword. Way to go Shakespeare. Next time write better, kay? Maybe watch a few movies from the 80’s to see how it should be done.

★★★✬☆

All My Shakespeare Reviews

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Forge of the High Mage (Malaz: Path to Ascendancy #4) ★★★★☆

Title: Forge of the High Mage
Series: Malaz: Path to Ascendancy #4
Author: Ian C. Esslemont
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 467
Words: 152K

From Malazan.fandom.com

After decades of warfare, Malazan forces are now close to consolidating the Quon Talian mainland. Yet it is at this moment that Emperor Kellanved orders a new campaign far to the north: the invasion of Falar.

Since the main Malazan armies are otherwise engaged in Quon Tali, a collection of orphaned units and broken squads has been brought together under Fist Dujek – himself recovering from the loss of an arm – to fight this new campaign. A somewhat rag-tag army, joined by a similarly motley fleet under the command of the Emperor himself.

There are however those who harbour doubts regarding the stewardship of Kellanved and his cohort Dancer, and as the Malazan force heads north, it encounters an unlooked-for and most unwelcome threat – unspeakable and born of legend, it has woken and will destroy all who stand in its way. Most appalled by this is Tayschrenn, the untested High Mage of the Empire. He is all-too aware of the true nature of this ancient horror – and his own inadequacy in having to confront it. Yet confront it he must, alongside the most unlikely of allies…

And then the theocracy of Falar is itself far from defenceless – its priests are in possession of a weapon so terrifying it has not been unleashed for centuries. Named the Jhistal, it was rumoured to be a gift from the sea-god Mael. But two can play at that game, for the Emperor sails towards Falar aboard his flagship Twisted – a vessel that is itself thought to be not entirely of this world…

Here, then, in the tracts of the Ice Wastes and among the islands of Falar, the Empire of Malaz faces two seemingly insurmountable tests – each one potentially the origin of its destruction…

These are bloody, turbulent and treacherous times for all caught up in the forging of the Malazan Empire.

Just like in previous Path to Ascendancy books, there is another huge time jump from the previous book to this one. It’s been four years since I read Kellanved’s Reach and so I’d kind of forgotten how Esslemont operates. So it was a bit jarring to suddenly be in the middle of the Malazan Army being fully realized and the Empire we all come to know and love in the Malazan Book of the Fallen series.

There is a lot going on. The biggest problem I had, and I think ANY long time reader of the Malazan Universe will have, is that there is a flipping K’Chain Che’Malle floating fortress that not only Kelanved is aware of, but an entire Malazan fights against. That’s a big deal because in the main series, nobody is supposed to be aware that the Che’Malle are revived and roaming the world again, until Memories of Ice, the 3^rd book in the series. That would be like someone today telling a story about New York and claiming that the Two Towers were still in existence.

Other than that massive and gaping plot hole, this was another fantastic story by ICE. He has a much lighter touch in terms of navel gazing self-absorbed existentials angsty philosophizing, unlike his fellow writer Erikson. Which is why I enjoy his body of work much more. He also isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty with plain old fashioned action scenes. High Mage Tayschren going up against a floating fortress, the Jhistal being misused and used, Esslemont dives right into things.

Despite what the synopsis states, there is a LOT more going on. There are several more main “side characters” and their storylines. It fits how multi-layered any Malazan story is supposed to be At the same time, I found myself not caring enough to try to tie all the the threads into their appropriate place and just sailing on through the reading.

There were also a lot of name dropping Easter Eggs for long time fans. It actually got tiresome. Especially when when Esslemont played coy and just described a character by their mannerism or description. During those times I knew it was supposed to be “somebody” but since it didn’t really affect the current story, I just kept on reading without trying to comprehend everything.

The online chatter I’ve read says there will be one more of these Path to Ascendancy books and that book will bring us up to the Book of the Malazan timeline. I just hope Esslemont keeps on writing in this universe, I really like his style.

★★★★☆

All of My “Malaz: Path to Ascendancy” Reviews

Monday, June 19, 2023

Circle of Protection: Green - MTG 4th Edition

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Shrek Forever After (2010 Movie)

The Fourth, and supposedly final, Shrek film. I enjoyed my time watching this, and rewatching it, and I plan on enjoying it when I watch it again in the future. BUT. I have to deliberately not think for that to work.

It is Shrek’s kids 1st birthday and Shrek is feeling overwhelmed at being a responsible adult and has a fight with his wife Fiona and gets tricked by Rumplestiltskin and has to convince Fiona (because the world changed) to fall in love with him all over again, only now she’s in ogre form and leading a band of freedom fighter ogres against Emperor Stiltskin. And of course it happens and the world is back on course and we get our happily ever after.

There’s a lot of grrrrl power lingo jazz thrown around and at one point Fiona states that she had to save herself. It was not subtle or woven in, but just hammered. Then you have Shrek not being able to cope with being a dad and not an ogre any more. I feel like the writers didn’t know how to deal with family life and so just put Shrek in a situation that they remembered from some sit-com way back when.

At the same time, I thought the basic idea was very good. Shrek gets to be a complete ogre for one day in exchange for giving one other day to Rumplestiltskin. So Rumple chooses the day of his birth, so Shrek never gets born, never rescues Fiona and thus they never fall in love and have a family. Shrek comes back to this world, he remembers how it is supposed to be and has until midnight to convince Fiona that they are indeed true love’s vessels. It was silly but at the same time it was heart breaking. The relationship between Shrek and Fiona has always been the backbone of the franchise, no matter how shallow or trivial, and to see that ripped away from only one of them really amped up the pathos for me.

This was a decent end to the franchise.

Saturday, June 17, 2023

I Got 99 Problems But A Book Ain't One

I’ve got 92 books on my kindle, 203 in Calibre with the tbr tag, approximately 100 waiting to be added to calibre (residing in my “new books” folder) and then untold numbers of manga and comics. These are all books I have pretty much committed to actually reading. This not a vague wishlist of “some day maybe”.

So yeah, I may have 99 problems but finding books to read ain’t one of them. Peace out, my bookahs….