Tuesday, June 06, 2023

Conan the Magnificent (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Magnificent
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 185
Words: 65K




From Conan.fandom.com/


In the south-western spur of the Kezankian mountains separating Brythunia from Zamora, one of the hundreds of wandering holy-men of the Kezankians is drawing the traditionally feuding tribes together to witness a miracle of "the ancient gods." The True Gods of earth, air, fire and water led Basrakan Imallah deep into the bowels of the earth to a clutch of fire-drake eggs. With blasphemous knowledge of the thaumatergical arts, Basrakan managed to hatch one of the nine eggs and bind the infant creature to his will, albeit imperfectly. Now, with an avatar of the fire god under his command, Basrakan preaches a holy war against the plains-dwellers of Zamora and Brythunia.


Unfortunately, as the creature grows, his hold on it weakens.


In secret, Basrakan has agents searching for two huge rubies, The Eyes of Fire, that will grant him complete control over all nine dragons. With them, he can complete his unification of the hill-tribes and lead them to conquest over all who would oppose him.


Completing a spectacle where his dragon kills three Brythunians as a sacrifice to the True Gods, Basrakan receives word his spies have located the Eyes of Fire. They are in the possession of House Perashanid of Shadizar.


Shadizar, capital city of Zamora. Conan steals across rooftops bound for the house of Samarides, the gem-merchant. On commission from the spice merchant, Barastes, Conan intends to steal a goblet carved from a single huge emerald from Samarides' mansion. Almost killing himself to gain access to the place, Conan is beaten to his prize by a female thief calling herself Lyana. To discourage him from using her rope to escape, Lyana casts a black throwing knife at the Cimmerian. When he jumps back to avoid the projectile, she makes good her escape. Narrowly escaping from Samarides and his guards by going out the front door, Conan vows to avenge his wounded pride by beating the thief to her next prize.


But first he has to find out who she is.


From Abuletes, Conan learns a thief named Jamal used knives similar to the one the girl threw at Conan...until he was beheaded by the City Guard a decade ago. Jamal had a daughter and two brothers, Gayan and Hafid, who took the orphaned girl in. They were thieves as well and used clothing and tools similar to what Conan saw the girl employ. The girl's name was Tamira.


Conan offers a reward of two silver pieces to the city's beggars, trulls and street urchins to find the girl for him.


The Lady Jondra of the House Perashanid is know to possess a fabulous tiara and necklace both of which feature a huge ruby set amongst diamonds and opals. She is also reputed to be an capable huntress. She is also famous for being unwed and the last scion of noble house of Zamora. However, her mother was Brythunian, not Zamoran, and no small few at court consider her a half-breed, much to her chagrin. We see her snub the hopes of one would-be paramour by telling him she can marry no man unless he can equal her as an archer; then she bests him at archery.


After many false leads, the street urchins locate Tamira at The Red Lion Tavern. A confrontation ensues where Conan suggests that Tamira is a virgin and wants to bed her.


His real plan is to have her followed from the tavern by the urchins to see where she goes and report back to Conan.


A day comes and goes and Conan finds himself confronted by Barastes the spice merchant, visiting Abulete's Tavern to talk with Conan about the whereabouts of the goblet. Asking to keep their dealings private, they adjourn to Conan's small room on the second floor and, unsatisfied with Conan's explanation of events, Barastes tries to kill the Cimmerian. Conan disarms him easily and stuns him with a blow to the face. Stripping him of his purse, cloak and weapons, Conan shakes him awake and throws him out the window to the filthy alley below.


Knowing that his actions will eventually bring the city guard to Abuletes, Conan arranges with the tavern-keeper to secure a horse and leave the city. As Abuletes sends a message to a man he knows, Laeta the street urchin enters and tells Conan that Tamira has been spending time at the Lady Jondra's mansion. One of the urchins saw her leave a few hours past, dressed like a serving girl, along with the rest of Lady Jondra's hunting party.


Needing to leave town in any case, Conan plays a hunch Tamira would not tag along with the noblewoman while the jewels stay in Shadizar. Taking his new horse he sets off into the northern Zamorian wastes intent on catching up with Jondra's hunting expedition. [note: Jordan uses Zamoran throughout instead of Howard's term, Zamorian, used throughout this article]


Coming upon Jondra cornered and alone, menaced by a pack of wolves, Conan rescues her by killing nine of them before the rest slink back into the wilderness. With both their horses dead, the pair must walk back to Jondra's camp. Unfortunately neither one has any water left and the Zamoran wastes offer no chance to find any. As the day stretches into afternoon, Jondra begins to fail, so the Cimmerian carries her, against her weak protests. It is full night when Conan spies the fires of a camp. Not knowing or caring if it is Jondra's, he staggers into camp, sets the woman on the ground and demands water, hand on his sword hilt.


Assuming the worst upon seeing Jonrda's limp form dropped to the ground, Arvaneus, Jondra's Chief Huntsman, orders Conan slain. In a soft but firm voice Jondra commands her men to stop and, after taking some swallows of water, berates Arvaneus for not doing enough to try to locate her before dusk. So does Conan earn the enmity of Arvaneus.


In Brythunia, in a village near the Kezankian Mountains, a young warrior named Eldran returns from the West to find his fellow villagers all bearing arms and shields. The local priestess of Wiccana, Boudanecea, takes him to her abode where Eldran's teacher in the art of the sword, Godtan, lies horribly burned and dying. He is the only surviving member of a hunting party that went, against Boudanecea's advice, to the mountains in search of the creature responsible for burning farms in the foothills of the Kezankians. When they came upon the beast they learned, to their horror, that the priestess spoke true; no weapons forged by ordinary men could harm the creature. After fleeing the dragon, the remaining warriors were ambushed by hillmen. Eldran's brother, Ellandune, and two other men, Aelric and Aelfric, were taken prisoner. The rest were slain. The hillmen left Godtan for dead.


Boudanecea leads Eldran to The Sacred Grove of Wiccana and, using druidic magic, opens the way for Eldran to obtain the sword called Flame Slayer; forged by great wizards almost 3,000 years prior to defeat the beasts of fire unleashed by Acheron's foul sorcery. Empty claws on either end of the guard once held great rubies called the Eyes of Fire which gave the wielder control of the beasts. The blade is given only to the worthy and only once in their lifetime. If it leaves the possession of the worthy, it magically returns to the mound in Wiccana's Grove and can only be granted to another after the proper ceremony is performed. Eldran accepts the priestess' benediction while making a list, in his mind, of the men he will lead into the mountains.


Meanwhile, back in Zamora, Conan observes the leaders of the hunting party concealing their presence from a contingent of over 5,000 Zamorian troops crossing their intended path, far ahead in the distance. Arvaneus finally challenges Conan to a duel but Jondra forbids it, so Conan suggests they cast spears for money. Conan ties Arvaneus at 30 paces and at 40 paces and then beats him at 60 paces. Incensed, Arvaneus dares Conan to hit the arget at 100 paces...so he does. Not only does he win 500 pieces of silver from the Chief huntsman, Lady Jondra gives herself to the Cimmerian because she could never have made such a spear-cast.


Three days later Eldran and his riders meet Lady Jondra's hunting party on the Zamorian plain. In speaking with them, Jondra describes the beast that she hunts and the Brythunians recognize it as the beast of fire that they seek. Eldran tries to warn Jondra that the beast cannot be slain by normal weapons but the proud noblewoman sends them on their way. But not before Eldran out-shoots Jondra with a bow, making quite an impression on her...and focusing her wrath on both Arvaneus and Conan.


Through ensorcelled ravens, Basrakan learns of the arrival of the Zamorian soldiers and dispatches 20,000 hillmen to destroy them, to prove they are worthy in the eyes of the True Gods.


That night the Cimmerian wakes to the sound of unshod hoofs on gravel coming up the hill toward camp. Djinar and his band of hillmen from Shadizar have caught up with the hunting party and attack while they sleep, intent on killing them all and taking the Eyes of Fire to Basrakan. Conan kills a number of them while the hunters are still waking up and helps drive them off. He then argues with Jondra, trying to convince her to turn back.


The next afternoon Conan tells Tamira of his intention to return to Shadizar, with or without Jondra. Tamira promises to accompany Conan but not until after dark, in order to avoid a confrontation with the noblewoman over leaving her service. Shortly thereafter a Zamorian cavalry company of nearly three hundred riders arrives at Jondra's camp. Their commander, Lord Zathanides, insists it is too dangerous near the mountains at this juncture and tells Jondra return to Shadizar. Trying to make Conan jealous, she invites the general into her tent to discuss her future. Her ploy backfires however and the Zamorain nobleman tries to rape her.


Conan throws Zathanides out of Jondra's pavilion and disarms him when he tries to draw on the Cimmerian. Jondra stops Conan from killing him and warns she will inform the king of his indecent assault if he attempts use his station to exact revenge on the Cimmerian. The general takes his leave but not before casting aspersions on Jondra's mother and Conan's heritage.


After his departure, Conan and Jondra quarrel again over returning to the city, after which Conan decides to take his own advice and begin preparations to leave that night with Tamira. Discovering a saddle and waterskin already sitting by a fresh horse however, Conan proceeds directly to Jondra's tent and catches Tamira stealing the tiara and necklace. Scooping her up and carrying her off down the hill to the edge of camp behind some scrub brush, Tamira kicks him as he is releasing her. He loses his footing on the uneven ground and falls atop her. An argument ensues but soon Tamira beings to kiss him. After a second or two of surprise, Conan returns the favour.


The next day finds Conan already well into the mountains at sunrise and looking back at a battle on the Zamorian plains where a huge horde of Kezankian hillmen are massacring thousands of Zamorian soldiers.


From another part of the mountains, Eldran watches the same battle and mourns for Jondra, who he is sure the soldiers were escorting back to Shadizar. Eldran addresses his men and tells them they are now on the beast's home-ground; that he's felt it's evil growing ever stronger as they travelled further into this part of the mountains. He lets them know, If any want to turn back, now is the time. None do.


Further into the mountains, Basrakan's meditations are interrupted by a group of heretical hillmen. The Imalla slays them with magic and then casts a spell that immolates every one of their male relatives, regardless of their age, in the surrounding camp. Jbiel tells Basrakan that Shamal, one of Djinar's men sent after the Eyes of Fire, has returned, but is insane. Against the tradition of the Old Gods that the insane are not to be molested, Basrakan orders him interrogated to find out everything he knows.


Before noon, after the massacre of the Zamorian soldiers, Jondra calls a halt and orders her retinue to make camp; sending out her huntsmen to look for signs of the dragon. Conan spends the day on lookout duty, honing the blade of his sword, trying to spy the source of an oppressive feeling that has grown stronger the further they forged into the mountains.


Telades is the first hunter to return. He found no sign of the beast but did discover another large force of Zamorian soldiers camped further within the mountains, to the north. Telades was able to get close enough to recognize the commander of the force; one General Tenerses.


One by one the other hunters return, each of them finding no trace of the creature...until, at last, Arvaneus returns with news of the beast's tracks. Despite the distance to the tracks and the sun hanging at mid-afternoon, Jondra insists on seeing the spoor that day and takes 20 men, plus Conan, into the mountains.


Reaching the first tracks, the oppressive feeling Conan has had that whole day increases. He suggests they return to camp but Jondra insists on seeing the complete tracks Arvaneus claims are further along. Coming to a small valley with many cuts leading off to each side, the earth becomes softer and complete tracks can be seen.


And then the dragon attacks.


The beast decimates the hunting party with claws and fire; each of the hunters falling as they realize that no part of the beast is vulnerable, not even its eyes. Jondra is nearly killed by the beast but she and Conan are provided the chance to escape when Telades sacrifices himself to distract the monster. Jondra breaks down and Conan carries her to safety.


Conan strides into camp carrying Jondra and Tamira helps her to her tent. No other hunters have returned. The remaining hunters look to Conan for leadership. He orders them to be vigilant against hillmen tonight for they leave in the morning for Shadizar. He also tells them to flee if the beast attacks.


Hillmen do attack that night, but there are too many of them to repel. Conan rescues Tamira from a hillman and escapes the camp with her. Finding her a place to hide, he returns to the camp to see if he can rescue Jondra. Jealous and angry that he would leave her to help the noblewoman, Tamira leaves her hiding place intent on returning to camp to steal the gems and return to Shadizar without Conan, but is soon captured by hillmen.


Returning to the camp, Conan finds the battle over and begins looking for supplies to use on the journey back to the city. He is accosted by Arvaneus, just arrived after wandering in the mountains since the attack of the fire-drake. Arvaneus is insane with guilt over first leading the hunters to their doom and and then fleeing instead of helping them. Accusing the Cimmerian of being a thief, he becomes enraged when he hears Conan's plan to find Jondra and return her to Shadizar. He attacks and Conan kills him,


Before he died Arvaneus admitted to seeing Jondra escape the camp and hide from the hillmen. Worried that he has been so long away from Tamira, Conan goes to collect her before searching for Jondra's hiding place.


In need of water, Jondra leaves her hiding place, reluctantly...because she is nude...to sneak to a water hole she could see from her sanctuary. Losing her footing, she slides off the edge of a short drop but her ankle gets caught in a tree and she is left hanging upside down, still naked, mere yards from the pool of water.


Struggling to free herself, she does not hear a hillman approaching the water hole until he is already there; and then he is dead with an arrow sticking from his neck. Her initial relief that one of her huntsmen has saved her is dampened by the fact that she cannot manage to free herself. Her relief turns to horror when she sees that her saviour is not from her hunting party but is Eldran, the Brythunian.


Effortlessly he lifts her down and carries her to the pond. When he begins to talk of how obsessed he has become with her she picks up a large rock and bounces it off his head. Grateful that he continues to breathe, she nevertheless robs him of his cloak, leggings, bow, knife, etc and limps off in an attempt to get away from him.


And she limps right into six hillmen.


Meanwhile, Conan is tracking Tamira's departure from her hiding place and discovers that she was taken by hillmen. As he tracks them he comes upon the remaining members of Eldran's band. Together he and Eldran agree that they will save the women and then slay the beast.


Tamara and Jondra awake to find they are chained spread-eagle on either side of a stone room, completely naked. Basrakan begins magically torturing the two, stopping only when Jbeil interrupts to tell him that Shamal has finally said something legible...that the Eyes of Fire were brought into the Mountains by Jondra.


Conan, Eldran and the remaining Brythunians tracked the hillmen back to the assembled horde surrounding Basrakan's temple. They know Jondra is in the temple but only that Tamira is somewhere in the huge camp. Discussing how to proceed, Eldran insists on saving Jondra and Conan suggests that they use General Tenerses and his soldiers to their advantage by tricking him into thinking the hillman force is far smaller than it is and providing them with an easy victory. Eldran chooses Frydan for the task and the men settle in to await his return with the army.


After scouring the horde for the spoils from Jondra's camp, Jbiel delivers the necklace and the tiara to Basrakan. Completely focussed on the gems, he discards the rest of the jewellery and prepares the binding spell that will link him to the fire-drake. He orders Jabiel to take the women to the dungeon to await sacrifice. The spell works and he orders the women taken to for sacrifice to the beast of fire. Thousands of hillmen stream after the women and the Imallas as they make their way to the next valley, where Basrakan performs the rituals to the True Gods.


Upon seeing both woman herded toward the next valley, Conan and Eldran decide that they cannot wait for Frydan's return. Slipping down into the valley, Conan and the Brythunians disguise themselves as hillmen and join the throng.


As Basrakan completes his summoning ritual to call forth the fire-drake, yells are heard from the entrance-valley that the hillmen are under attack by soldiers. When the Imalla looks down into the sacrificial circle he sees men jumping the low wall and rushing towards the women.


Conan frees Tamira while Eldran frees Jondra and they all turn to consider escape. Sounds of battle from the valley entrance have distracted thousands from what transpires in the sacrificial circle, but many are not...and some are brave enough to intervene. Those hillmen enter the circle to stop the infidels,


But after a few minutes, the press of battle weakens and the hillmen begin to draw back. The beast of fire has arrived.


Finding himself too far away from the beast, Eldran calls out to Conan and throws Flame Slayer to the Cimmerian. Diving and rolling, Conan avoids the fiery breath of the creature and gets close enough to strike at its face. Jerking its head back in pain, the beast exposes its chest and Conan buries the blade in it.


Rearing back on its hind legs, the beast dies and topples onto Basrakan, mashing him to jelly.


Demoralized, thousands of hillmen break for the mouth of the valley and though he strides through them, none dares raise a hand against Conan. Head and shoulders above most of the hillmen, he sees Eldran and the Brythunians helping Jondra escape. Further away, he spies Tamira, his black cloak still covering her, swept into the entrance-valley with the flow of the throng, and out of sight.


Hewing his way back to the larger valley, Conan sees Tamira dash from Basrakan's temple. As she yells something about recovering her clothes, Conan throws her over his shoulder with a curse and heads for the hills.


Rejoining Eldran's company to escape the mountains, Conan and the Brythunians reach the foothills safely. Jondra is taken captive by Eldran as payment for her assault against him and the theft of his possessions before she was captured by hillmen. Tamira stops Conan from intervening, explaining that Jondra is in love with Eldran and would rather return to Brythunia with him than to Shadizar as a lonely, wealthy half-breed.


Tamira and Conan part from the Brythunians and ride out onto the Zamorian plain toward Shadizar.




First off, don’t click that “details” thingy above this. Some jamoke went and summarized the book instead of writing a synopsis and it’s 7 pages long. Who are these people who have that much time and energy to put towards something so futile? At least MY reviews will get read by me and millions of my nearest and dearest friends (and who have paid quite handsomely to BE my nearest and dearest) and adoring fans (who did NOT pay quite so handsomely, the cheapskates!)

Conan gets involved with trying to steal some jewels and then to protect a woman. A sorcerer is trying to unite a bunch of fractious tribes under the guise of “the old gods” and has some sort of creature semi in control. But the sorcerer needs the same jewels as Conan wants to complete his control over the creature.

Everything collides and Conan uses a magic sword to slay the beast. Which wasn’t really supposed to be possible, because only the Chosen One could hold the sword and he was already holding it. When the Chosen One lets go of the sword, it supposedly disappears back to its secret hiding place until a new Chosen One is born. So the current Chosen One tossing the magic sword to Conan for him to use just didn’t make sense. I don’t expect a lot from Conan books, but internal consistency is one thing I do want.

That’s why, even though I enjoyed this more than the previous book, I am giving it 3stars instead of 3.5stars. I know it might seem like a little detail to you and you could wonder why but I take my job as a Professional Book Reviewer seriously. I don’t get paid ½ million dollars each year for nothing after all.

★★★☆☆

Sunday, June 04, 2023

No Game For Knights ★☆☆☆☆ DNF@22%

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: No Game For Knights
Editors: Larry Correia & Kacey Ezell
Rating: 1 of 5 Stars DNF@22%
Genre: SFF
Pages: 316 / 70
Words: 127K / 28K




From the Publisher

“Knights had no meaning in this game. It wasn't a game for knights.” – Raymond Chandler

In a world of criminals, thugs, con artists, cheats, and swindlers, there must be a man to stand against the powers of darkness and corruption. A man not afraid to walk the mean streets—whether they be those of 1930s Los Angeles, an ancient fantasy realm, or some far-flung planet of a future star empire. He is a man who knows that a “good man” is not always a “nice guy.” But when the chips are down, he understands that a hero does the right thing, even if it means losing everything.

He’s a hard man, sure. But an honorable one. He’s a truth-seeker, a score-evener.

He is Sam Spade. He is Philip Marlowe. He is Rick Deckard. He is Harry Dresden.

He is all these men and more.

Now, join Larry Correia and Kacey Ezell as they present all-new stories of fantasy and science fiction with a hardboiled detective bent by today's top authors.

Grab the bottle of Scotch from your bottom desk drawer. Light a cigarette. Tilt your fedora back on your head. But don’t forget to watch your back. This is No Game for Knights.

Stories by: Laurell K. Hamilton, Larry Correia, Christopher Ruocchio, Michael Haspil, D.J. Butler, Kacey Ezell, Griffin Barber, Robert Buettner, Sharon Shinn, Craig Martelle, Chris Kennedy, S.A. Bailey, G. Scott Huggins, Nicole Givens Kurtz, and Rob Howell.




DNF’d this due to the usual sexual deviancy issues.

Given Correia’s libertarian philosophy, though it is at odds with his mormonism, I’m not surprised. Especially considering the recent (well 2019’ish) changes the mormon leadership have made due to “continuing revelation” on the issue. Correia seems to be very much of a live and let live kind of guy and that’s reflected in his writing and the stuff he edits as well.

★☆☆☆☆



Friday, June 02, 2023

Earth and Sky (Bone #21) ★★✬☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Earth and Sky
Series: Bone #21
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 1K




From Boneville.fandom.com

The Two Stupid Rat Creatures bicker over whether to bake Fone Bone, Thorn, and Gran'ma Ben in a quiche, or make stew from their bones. They are interrupted by Gran'ma Ben, attacking them with her sword. They retreat, and Gran'ma gives Thorn her sword, which agitates the rat creatures. Gran'ma suggests that Thorn may be close to The Turning. She interrogates one of the Two Stupid Rat Creatures, who confesses that they have been ordered to evacuate the valley, but is interrupted by Kingdok, who knocks out Thorn and Fone Bone, and attacks Gran'ma Ben. Fone Bone comes to, and calls for the Dragon's help.

Smiley hears Fone Bone's faint calling, but Phoney has another problem - the customers are nursing their beers. The pair suggest various possibilities, and Smiley mentions the Midsummer's Day Picnic, which Lucius kept secret from Phoney. Smiley and Wendell both hear Fone Bone calling, and a search party goes out to find them in the woods. Wendell and Euclid find blood all over the ground and trees.

Kingdok continues to throw Gran'ma Ben through the woods, hitting her against a tree and discussing how much he hates the Flat-Landers. As he is about to kill her, Thorn ambushes Kingdok and slices off his arm with Gran'ma's sword. He suffers an attack of the Gitchy Feeling, and hallucinates Gran'ma and thorn as queen and princess respectively. He cries out, and the Two Stupid Rat Creatures escort him off into the night. Fone Bone finds Gran'ma Ben and Thorn, and dress Gran'ma's wounds as she warns Thorn that the Lord of the Locusts is seeking her.




Smith is an absolute MASTER at dragging things out, not telling the readers anything substantive and recycling whole pages of art.

With that being said, I am done with reading Bone issue by issue. I thought I could tough it out until issue #27, but this issue has shown me that I have reached my limit. Starting next month, I am going to be reading the omnibus versions which collect 7-10 issues in each one. I’ll be reading The Dragonslayer in July, which collects issues 20-27. I don’t mind re-reading 2 issues, as it won’t matter.

I am just stunned that Smith has defeated me this way. What boggles my mind even more is how he got through the whole series without the fans simply giving up on him. What kind of person does it take to hold on to a series like this and make it succeed? What kind of, waaaaaaaait for it, BONE HEAD puts up with deliberate shenanigans like this?

★★✬☆☆


Thursday, June 01, 2023

Let It All Bleed Out ★★★★☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Let It All Bleed Out
Series: ----------
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 172
Words: 69K




From the Inside Cover:

Alfie Doesn’t Mind Being Called Square


Alfred Hitchcock is frankly shocked by the temptations that surround us today. X-rated movies. Sweaty centerfolds. Naughty novels. Kids who used to cut grass now smoking it. All of this fills Alfie with alarm.


Let’s return to old-fashioned fun, he pleads. A nice gory stabbing. A neatly drawn strangler’s noose. A proper pistol shot in the dark. A scream of horror that makes you walk away whistling.


For, as the master shows in this nerve-twisting new collection, fads come and go, but evil is here to stay. So let’s strip the mod clothes off the victims, and—


LET IT ALL BLEED OUT


Table of Contents:


COLD NIGHT ON LAKE LENORE

     Jonathan Craig

THE ATTITUDE OF MURDER

     Nedra Tyre

HAND

     William Brittain

SHERIFF PEAVY’S DOUBLE DEAD CASE (A NOVELETTE)

     Richard Hardwick

RICH—OR DEAD

     David A. Heller

YELLOW SHOES

     Hal Ellson

THE MAN WHO HATED TURKEY (A NOVELETTE)

     Elijah Ellis

COFFEE BREAK

     Arthur Porges

A PADLOCK FOR CHARLIE DRAPER

     James Holding

MAC WITHOUT A KNIFE

     Talmage Powell

THE CHINLESS WONDER

     Stanley Abbott

NO TEARS FOR AN INFORMER

     H. A. De Rosso

A RARE BIRD

     John Lutz

THE COMIC OPERA

     Henry Woodfin




As much as I really like the stories Hitchcock puts together, I am realizing that having a smaller amount actually works in its favor. Being left wanting more actually enhances the stories I’ve already read. Instead of being a book glutton and gorging myself and feeling sick, having just enough is the correct amount. Looking back over the various books, it seems like 300 pages is the upper limit. After that I start to feel too full and get cranky about stuff I wouldn’t normally.

Cold Night on Lake Lenore was a great opener. A man patiently waits for the perfect opportunity to kill his wife. It arrives but he is seen by another woman, who thinks he did it to be with her. He marries her and the last thought is of him thinking he just has to wait for the perfect opportunity again, and that he’s a patient man. It got me thinking about the kind of people who murder others. I’d like to think that the kind of person who could do something like this (murder someone and yet showing perfect restraint until the “perfect” moment) doesn’t exist, as the willingness to do the one would preclude the ability to do the other, but alas, all you have to do is read the news and you read about some guy who’s killed 3 wives and they only caught him because he got cocky about disposing of the remains of Number 4. Just goes to show humans aren’t just simple blobs of matter, even if that’s a negative example, sigh.

The Chinless Wonder was kind of on the other side. A loser of a man decides that he’s sick of being himself and gets a disguise and creates a new identity and hooks up with some chick. Everything is going extremely well until he gets mixed up with the mob. In the end, the girl and her boyfriend were playing him and set him up for the murder of his alter-ego and then to really nail him, the mob boss. Oh, it was priceless watching the pieces move into place. I wasn’t sure exactly where the story was going but after he helped sink a big sack in the river, I figured it out and like I said, just watched the pieces move into position. It was a thing of wonder.

This was just long enough to satisfy me and yet still leaving me wanting more. The perfect combination really.

★★★★☆


Tuesday, May 30, 2023

A Pelican at Blandings (Blandings Castle #11) ★★★★☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: A Pelican at Blandings
Series: Blandings Castle #11
Authors: PG Wodehouse
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Humor
Pages: 185
Words: 66K


From Wikipedia:

Lord Emsworth is in clover at Blandings, with the only guest, Howard Chesney, easily avoided by eating alone in the library. His peace is shattered by the arrival of his sister Connie, along with a friend she has met on the boat over from America, Vanessa Polk, and the news that Dunstable is soon to descend upon the castle adds to his misery. Desperate, he calls on his brother Gally for aid.

Gally is in London, meeting his godson Johnny Halliday, who announces his engagement to Dunstable's niece Linda. He hurries to the castle, sharing a train carriage with Dunstable, who tells Gally how he has bought a painting of a reclining nude, having heard how anxious the wealthy Wilbur Trout is to buy it; Dunstable plans to bring Trout to Blandings to sell him the picture at a large profit.

At the castle, Connie urges Dunstable to cosy up with Vanessa Polk, her father's wealth proving an easy lure, and Emsworth's woes are compounded by his beloved Empress' refusal to eat a potato. Gally hears from Linda that her engagement to Halliday is no more, and Halliday himself visits, to explain the incident, a grilling he was obliged to give Linda as a witness in a court case he was defending, which led to their split. He begs Gally to invite him to the castle, but Gally, explaining his position in Connie's bad books, sends him home, promising to do his best on his behalf.

Wilbur Trout arrives, and we learn that Vanessa Polk was once engaged to him, and still harbours tender feelings. He tells her the tale of Dunstable's treachery, and she hatches a plan to steal the painting. In London, Halliday hears from his partner Joe Bender that the painting sold to Dunstable was a fake, and he calls in Gally's help. The capable old Pelican arranges to swap the real picture for the fake, but decides to take a bath before replacing the original in the empty frame.

Emsworth, visiting his pig after a worrying dream, falls into the muddy sty, then finds himself locked out, Gally having turned the key on his return from meeting Johnny. He enters the house via Dunstable's rooms, waking up the Duke when surprised by a cat, and later returns to wake the Duke again when he sees the empty frame. When the rest of the household see the picture, now replaced by Gally, the Duke's low opinion of Emsworth's sanity persuades him to call in psychiatric help; Gally recommends Johnny, who he pretends is Sir Roderick Glossop's junior partner.

Vanessa Polk, having spotted him for a crook, persuades Chesney to help her steal the painting, but he recognises Halliday, newly arrived at the castle, as the attorney who defended him after an earlier crime went wrong. He plans to leave to avoid being unmasked and return by night for the painting, but seeing Halliday at the top of the stairs, pushes him down. Halliday falls, taking Dunstable with him, and while he angers the Duke he endears himself to Linda, who finds herself kissing his face as he lies prone in the hallway. Linda, now firmly in favour of Halliday, reveals she cannot marry without Dunstable's consent, which he refuses after the stairs incident, and also having recalled Halliday's father, who he never got on with.

Connie calls Glossop's office, finds Halliday is an imposter and ejects him from the castle. Trout and Vanessa meet up in the night to steal the painting, but Chesney fails to turn up, having crashed his car on the way. The two realise they love each other, and leave next morning to get married. Connie insists that Dunstable write to Vanessa proposing marriage; but the letter is intercepted by Gally, who shares with Dunstable his knowledge that Vanessa is not really an heiress, and makes the Duke allow the wedding of Linda and Johnny in exchange for the return of his letter, under threat of a breach of promise suit if it were to reach Vanessa. Connie is recalled to America by her husband, and the Duke returns home, leaving Emsworth once again master of his domain.




A nice light and amusing read that kept me happy for a couple of hours. That’s all I ask of these books and thankfully, they provide it in spades.

My only issue is that I know I only have one more Blandings Castle book to read. So that kind of cast a melancholic cloud over the time.

★★★★☆

Monday, May 29, 2023

The Yellow Sign (The King in Yellow Anthology #8) ★★★★✬

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Yellow Sign
Series: The King in Yellow Anthology #8
Editor: James Hodge
Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Cosmic Horror
Pages: 199
Words: 72K


From the Publisher & Bookstooge.blog

FBI Agent Erica Blaine has suffered more than most. After narrowly escaping being at the center of a cult sacrifice she’d been tasked with infiltrating, Erica has spent the last few months hitting the bottle, trying to avoid dealing with the trauma of what she experienced and those she couldn’t save. Her ruined hands, always gloved, are an unavoidable reminder of her pain and anguish.

As is the voice that won’t allow her a moment of peace.

But when her old Army buddy goes missing under suspicious circumstances, Erica is pulled back into the Lovecraftian world of cult infiltration. The Yellow College welcomes her with open arms, but as her sanity crumbles beneath the weight of hallucinations, old traumas, and lost memories, how can she expect to save her friend when she can barely tell what’s real and what isn’t?

Have you seen the shores of Carcosa?

The Yellow College believes that Erica is the chosen vessel for the King in Yellow to manifest himself in. This will usher in a new age as the King reigns openly. What they don’t know is that the King has his own plans, for them, for Erica and for the world.

In the end, the college sacrifices itself in a feeding frenzy of madness and despair and Erica becomes a synthesis of herself and the King in Yellow, a new being called Nihilo. Who will bring death, destruction and madness everywhere she walks.



This starts out slow. But being familiar with how the mythology of the King in Yellow always works itself out, I was expecting that. I could see how that would be off putting to those who are either familiar with King in Yellow mythology or have not read much beyond the original 4 stories by Chambers. I would NOT recommend this as a starting place for people to read more of the King in Yellow.

This was published in ‘22 and I think I’ve made the right choice at placing it as #8 in this “series” about the King in Yellow. It is also a full novel. Most of what has been written before has been short stories. Those are easier to pull off and can rely on The Idea. A novel takes a lot more work and has other limitations that a short story doesn’t. Like characterization and plot.

I felt like Hodge did an admirable job of writing up a full length novel around the concept of the King in Yellow. With an FBI agent as the main character investigating cult like behavior, I wasn’t sure if he was going to try for the “happy ending” or the real deal King in Yellow type ending. Thankfully, he chose to go with a real King in Yellow ending and that pushed this from a 3.5star rating up to it’s 4.5star rating. I was very pleased with just how gruesomely this ended, with the promise of continuing madness (not that there is more story to tell, but that the character of Nihilo will continue on the Earth).

There are two things that kept this from getting a 5star rating from me. First and foremost, was the just plain gratuitous use of the word “fuck”. I felt like it was thrown around like a teenage girl uses “like yeah, duh”. It didn’t really convey anything except Erica’s dissatisfaction with a situation and that was already shown in other ways, so it just felt gratuitous. If you took them out, nothing would have changed. The second, which is more of a niggle than anything, was that Hodge’s interpretation of the King is more Cthulhu’ic than pure King in Yellow. When Erica meets the King, he is described in terms that are more fitting to an eldritch tentacled horror than the King of Madness as Chamber’s described him. I like my King in Yellow to be completely separate from the Cthulhu mythos, even while I realize that particular boat has sailed. Like I said, a mere niggle.

I believe this was Hodge’s debut work and as such I am planning to keep an eye out for anything else he writes. I couldn’t find a website for him, but I also didn’t look that hard. I’m not a fan of authors as people, just authors as authors.

★★★★✬

Sunday, May 28, 2023

The Drawing of the Dark ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Drawing of the Dark
Series: ----------
Author: Tim Powers
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 311
Words: 111K



From Wikipedia.org

The year is 1529, and Brian Duffy, a world-weary Irish mercenary soldier, is hired in Venice by the mysterious Aurelianus to go to Vienna and work as a bouncer at the Zimmerman Inn, former monastery and current brewery of the famous Herzwesten beer.

Meanwhile, the Ottoman Turkish army under Sultan Suleiman I has achieved its most advanced position yet in their march into Europe, and is prepared to undertake the siege of Vienna. With the Turkish army travels the Grand Vizier Ibrahim, a magician who intends to use horrific spells as part of the siege.

Duffy spent time in Vienna years ago, and as he returns, he is haunted by memories of past events, and also finds himself having visions of mythical creatures and being ambushed by shadowy people and demonic monsters.

Upon arriving in Vienna, Duffy reconnects with Epiphany Vogel, a former girlfriend, and her father Gustav, who is working on a painting he calls "The Death of St. Michael the Archangel". It seems the painting is never quite complete, and the elder Vogel is continuously adding additional detail to the work, causing it to gradually become more and more obscure.

Then Duffy finds himself not only drafted into the city's defensive army, but also led by Aurelianus down mystical paths from the surprisingly old brewery to even more ancient caves beneath the city, in search of defenses against the approaching army and clues to Duffy's very nature.

As it turns out, Aurelianus knows more about Duffy and his past than Duffy himself knows, and his real purpose in hiring him is to protect the hidden Fisher King, secret spiritual leader of the western world, and to defend him and the West against the Turkish advance. And the real reason that Vienna must not be captured by the Turks is that it is the site of the Herzwesten brewery. Its light and bock beers are famous throughout Europe, but the dark beer, produced only every seven hundred years, has supernatural properties and must not be allowed to fall into enemy hands.

Meanwhile, others are drawn to Vienna in anticipation of significant events. The so-called "dark birds", magically sensitive individuals from far flung corners of the world, arrive in the city hoping for a sip of the Herzwesten dark, and a small group of middle-aged Vikings have improbably sailed their ship down the Danube River to Vienna, having sensed that the prophesied final battle of Ragnarok will take place there.



This book can be summed up with the tabloid headline “Magical Beer Saves Western Civilization – read more on page 3”. It is ridiculous.

Not a bad novel, but I simply couldn’t get past the ridiculousness of the premise. Powers like playing with history and showing a “secret history” behind the events we all know and as such, I thought he did an excellent job here.

But I cannot get past Magical Beer saving civilization as we know it. I can’t. So 3 stars for a solid “secret history” fantasy but that’s as far as I’m willing to stretch here.

★★★☆☆


Friday, May 26, 2023

Web of Spiderman Annual #1 ★★✬☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Web of Spiderman Annual #1
Writer: Ann Nocenti
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 37
Words: 3K





From Marvel.fandom.com/wiki/Web_of_Spider-Man_Annual_Vol_1_1

Spotting a broken window outside of a jewelry store, Spider-Man swings inside to stop a robbery. Inside, much to his surprise, Spider-Man discovers that the robbery is being committed by a number of small humanoid robots. Chasing after the machines, Spider-Man watches as they begin to combine into a single large robot. When the masked hero tries to stop it, the robot begins to emit a high pitched noise that makes it hard for Spider-Man to concentrate. Through a force of will, Spider-Man is able to snare the robot with a web-line and the pull the robot to the ground. However, this only makes it worse, as the robot begins to flail around. The machine then rights itself, and with the sonic attack taking its toll on Spider-Man, the robot ropes him out and sprays him with knock out gas before fleeing the scene. Spider-Man manages to fight off the effects of the gas and breaks free from his bonds, and is able to sneak up on the robot and knock it out with a single punch. Recovering from the effects of the gas, Spider-Man recovers the robot's severed head as a souvenir. As he leaves, the wall-crawler blames himself for not taking pictures of the battle as he could have sold them to the Daily Bugle. Examining the robot's head, Spider-Man is impressed by its design and it reminds him of his of his days as a high school student. He then begins to chastise himself for allowing his identity as Spider-Man has been taking more priority to that of Peter Parker.


Elsewhere in the city, a young boy named Max is throwing out old sports equipment and toys into a nearby dumpster. A task made more difficult because of his leg braces and that his hands begin to cramp up. He suddenly hears a bunch of noise behind him, and when he turns around, Max discovers that some of his classmates have tied tin-cans to his legs. The kids chase Max, forcing him to run for it. When the intelligent child hurls insults at the other kids. Unable to understand Max's vocabulary they threaten to beat him up, but he manages to flee the scene and get back home. Inside, Max has an advanced workshop where he conducts his experiments. Turning on his computers, it activates a robot that Max called "Future Max". Max tells his robotic invention that his nervous system is slowly failing him, Max tells Future Max that he will eventually use mechanical parts to replace his own nervous system. Suddenly there is a tapping noise that comes from a brick wall. Max rushes to it, it is the girl who lives next door named Beatrice. He tells her about his day, making up a story about playing ball with his friends. Unaware of who Max really is, she hopes he wasn't playing with the local bullies who she saw bullying a handicapped child. Beatrice then shows Max a surprise by pushing out one of the bricks that she chiseled loose so they can hold hands together. The idea of Beatrice learning the truth about him frightens Max. When she asks him to touch her hand, Max tries but his hands cramp up again and he accidentally hurts her. He apologizes but convinces her that he needs wants to keep the mystery of their friendship. Beatrice can't understand it, but Max assures her that they can finally meet soon, but has to get back to work on his science fair project. It's then that Max's combining robots return home, and as he goes to work on repairing the damaged machine, he puts aside a letter from Reed Richards, declining his request for nerve restoration research due to time constraints.


The next day, a street hustler named Alexis Sharp decides to play a small con by offering to walk an elderly woman across the street in order to pick her pockets. Unfortunately, the plan backfires when her pet poodle bites Alexis' finger, forcing him to punt the dog across the street and flee. Checking out the newspaper, he finds an article about an upcoming science fair and decides to use his con-man skills to find an inventive child with a wealthy family to bilk on false promises of marketing their child's invention. Later, at the science fair, Max is setting up his science fair project. He crosses paths with his intellectual rival, Chester, who has assistants to help him set up his own project. However, these assistants are more interested in playing video games and eventually abandon Chester, leaving him to set up alone. Also present is Peter Parker, who is impressed with the imagination and ingenuity the children have put on display. Peter is impressed by Max's invention, a device that increases the strength of your grip. Peter introduces himself to Max, who is excited to meet Parker, as he knows that Peter used to attend the same school and won his share of science fairs. As they begin talking about Max's invention, the boy is happy to finally speak with someone who understands him. Peter offers to try and convince his editor at the Daily Bugle to do an article on Max and his inventions. Max is briefly interested but soon becomes engrossed in his work.


No sooner is Peter gone, Alexis Sharp approaches Max's display and is impressed by what he sees. Trying to convince the boy that he is an agent, Max declines his representation. Sharp isn't ready to give up and spots a love letter to Beatrice and another from Reed Richards that gives him an idea on how to manipulate the boy to suit his needs. Alexis then tells the boy that he is a colleague of Reed Richards, and that he works with people on an exchange basis. He convinces Max to build an exoskeleton that Alexis can wear to prove that his invention works. This finally gets through to the boy and he accepts Sharp's card. Later that evening, Max is working on his exoskeleton, having to cannibalize Future Max in order to construct it. Max hopes that Reed Richards is impressed with is invention and agrees to cure him so he can finally reveal himself to Beatrice. As he works, Max accidentally bumps a water tank, spilling water on his mechanical arm brace. This causes a jolt of electricity that Beatrice hears from the other side of the wall. Beatrice asks Max if he is okay, and suggests that they meet up the following day. Max tells her he can't for now, telling her to trust in their love for each other.


Meanwhile, Spider-Man returns home to his apartment and discovers that a local stray cat has managed to get into his apartment again. As it rubs up against the severed robot head, it suddenly calatters to life. Peter examines it more closely and realizes that it is build using the same principals as Max's grip enhancer at the science fair. Putting on his mask, Spider-Man decides to make a social call to young Max. At that moment, Max is putting the final the final touches on the exoskeleton for Alexis Sharp, who helped fund the construction by calling in some underworld markers. As Alexis begins to test out the suit, Max begins to become suspicious of Sharp's credentials. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and Max goes to answer it. It turns out to be Spider-Man who has come to talk to the youth. Seeing the robot head, Max tries to explain his situation. Hearing about Sharp's alleged relationship with Reed Richards, Spider-Man asks Sharpe if he had heard about what happened with Richards' daughter. This is a trick, as Reed doesn't have a daughter, and Spider-Man catches him in a lie.[Continuity 1] Realizing the jig is up, Alexis Sharp tries to escape in the suit.


Spider-Man follows after him, and Sharp decides to fight back. Seeing that the battle suit is heavily armed, Spider-Man lures Alexis to an area that is scheduled for demolition. With no innocent people around, allowing the pair to cut loose. Down below, Max arrives and attempts to use a device to deactivate the armor, but it short circuits. An officer arrives on the scene and gets the boy to safety as Spider-Man and Sharp fight on. As the battle rages on, Max manages to slip by the police and get close enough to Spider-Man to tell him about the exoskeleton's vulnerability to water. Spider-Man tells Max to get to cover and then uses this knowledge to lure Sharp to a nearby water tower. Knocking the crook into the water shorts out his armor, leaving him immobilized. Spider-Man then webs up Sharp and leaves him hanging for the police. The next day, Peter Parker arrives at Max's house to take photos of him for the Daily Bugle article. Max tells him that he can't take the photos as he has a date with Beatrice. Admitting that he is nervous, Peter reminds him that he helped Spider-Man that he is more brave than he thinks. Sure enough, when Max goes to visit Beatrice, they hit it off immediately.




Oh goodness. This was supposed to be a double sized issue, which means 48 pages at a minimum. However, once all the ads are removed, it was a measly 37 pages.

It is basically a one shot story about a smart kid with some sort of degenerative nerve disease being tricked into building a suit of armor for some insane guy who quotes movies (I’m not even going to say anything because I already know what I think of movies in general) and Spiderman fighting the badguy and the kid going on a date with the girl next door.

Let’s discuss that boy/girl love interest thing, shall we? The kid is in highschool. He talks to this girl, who lives in the apartment right next door, through a brick wall, a brick wall that is one brick thick. But they have never seen each other. Ever. Never ever never ever. Not even when going to school or coming or going out of the apartment building. So when they finally have their date, she invites him inside her apartment for dinner. I realize this was 1985, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t customary for single women living on their own to invite underage boys into their apartments.

And speaking of apartments. This kid has an entire laboratory in the basement. Now, maybe he’s living in some sort of town house and not an apartment building. But his single mom is raising him and he’s got a degenerative nerve/muscle disease. But he builds an Iron Man suit from egg beaters and junk material (no, seriously, Spiderman sees an eggbeater and comments on it), with sonic guns AND mini-missiles AND a machine gun. In his basement. This isn’t suspending reality, but pure wish fulfillment. I could see my 14year old self eating this up and absolutely loving it. But now, it’s beyond ridiculous. I just laughed and rolled my eyes.

Dave and I are going to be taking a break from this comic series for a couple of months. Dave because of being busy at work and me because I really need to evaluate if I want to actually read any more. The story, and hence the writer, is what separates the good from the bad and ol’ Ann Nocenti didn’t appear to be up to the job on this issue. So this will be the last Web of Spiderman review for at least a couple of months.

Now, I know that news is going to devastate you all. I can only imagine the turmoil, angst and old fashioned pain you will suffer because of this. And because I am a responsible blogger, I just want to reassure you all, THAT I WILL BE LAUGHING IN GLEE EVERY SINGLE SECOND THAT YOU ARE IN MISERY. Then I will pat you on the shoulder and say something banal like “there, there, it’s ok”. That makes it all ok. 

Here's Dawie's take on this:
Dawie's Review of Web of Spiderman Annual #1

★★✬☆☆

Thursday, May 25, 2023

The Queen of the Swords (Eternal Champion: Corum #2) ★★★★★

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Queen of the Swords
Series: Eternal Champion: Corum #2
Author: Michael Moorcock
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 123
Words: 44K




From Wikipedia.com

On another five planes, the forces of Chaos - led by Xiombarg, Queen of the Swords - reign supreme and are on the verge on eradicating the last resistance from the forces of Law. The avatars of the Bear and Dog gods plot with Earl Glandyth-a-Krae to murder Corum and return Arioch to the Fifteen Planes. Guided by Arkyn, Corum, Rhalina and companion Jhary-a-Conel cross the planes and encounter the King Without A Country, the last of his people who in turn is seeking the City in the Pyramid. The group locate the City, which is in fact a floating arsenal powered by advanced technology and inhabited by a people originally from Corum's world and his distant kin.


Besieged by the forces of Chaos, the City requires certain rare minerals to continue to power their weapons. Corum and Jhary attempt to locate the minerals and also encounter Xiombarg, who learns of Corum's identity. Corum slows Xiombarg's forces by defeating their leader, Prince Gaynor the Damned. Xiombarg is goaded into attacking the City directly in revenge for Arioch's banishment. Arkyn provides the minerals and confronts Xiombarg, who has manifested in a vulnerable state. As Arkyn banishes Xiombarg, Corum and his allies devastate the forces of Chaos. Glandyth-a-Krae, however, escapes and seeks revenge.


Alternate Synopsis


In the planes over which she rules, Xiombarg—a Greater God and one of the Lords of Chaos, known as the "Queen of the Swords"—is winning the battle against the humanoid inhabitants. She continues the fight in Corum's plane, sending Prince Gaynor the Damned to direct the barbarian armies.


Corum, with Jhary-a-Conel and Rhalina, crosses the planes and find a world claimed by Chaos with plains of dried blood and other outlandish geography. They meet the King Without A Country, the last of his people who is seeking the City in the Pyramid. They find the city which turns out to be a floating one that originated in Corums own world - and the inhabitants are his kin. The city is under intermittent attack and for the moment its superior technology defends it. It could return to Corum's world but needs special minerals to provide sufficient energy. They are able to send Corum and his companions back to seek the minerals in his own world. There he finds the last human city under threat from a monstrous army of barbarians and chaos allies. He seeks out Gaynor and defeats him in single combat. With Gaynor banished the barbarian armies are largely leaderless but still a terrible threat. Arkyn, a lord of law, supplies the materials needed and they are sent back to Xiombarg's worlds. At the same time the barbarian armies crash against the last city standing. At the last moment the Sky city comes between the planes to help the defenders. Driven by anger Xiombarg follows the Floating city through the rift between the planes. This is in violation of the Cosmic Balance and the balance sends her back and restores Donblas, Arkyn's brother lord of law. The sky ships of the City destroy the barbarian armies with their wondrous weapons.




In many ways, I think the success of this book is because of its contrast with the Elric books. Elric is also an aspect of the Eternal Champion, but he is fighting on the side of Chaos. In fact, his patron is Arioch, the Prince of Swords, whom Corum killed in the previous book. Corum is fighting for Law but there are several times where he and Elric team up together as a greater aspect of the Eternal Champion, thus they are on the same side. That dichotomy is fun to read about but Moorcock doesn’t make it a point here, you have to have read his other stories for it to actually be seen.

The other fun thing is seeing how each eternal warrior views the other side. In Elric, he at one point goes to a world completely governed by Law. It is presented as a dead and static world with nothing alive, just monuments that last forever. In this book, Corum goes to a world completely run by Chaos and it is simply random destruction and presented as untenable for a stable mind. In both worlds, in both stories, each respective Lord of Chaos/Law lectures their Champion about the dangers of untrammeled Other. Chaos warns Elric of Law freezing the universe into a static perfection and Arkyn warns Corum about the entropy of Chaos which will lead to ultimate destruction.

This is also where the Companion is introduced. The Eternal Champion usually has a companion to help him and said companion is as eternal as the Champion. But where the Champion doesn’t remember his other aspects, the Companion sometimes does and this allows him to be of great use. But his end is usually as sad as the Champions. Jhary-a-Conel is as much a plot device as a real character but is nonetheless integral to the story. In many ways, he’s more fleshed out than Corum’s human love interest, but once you start reading more Eternal Warrior stories and see what happens to the Companion, you also realize what a completely melancholic character he has to be. So there’s almost no point in fleshing him out because you know he’s going to disappear into the next realm at some point (the best scenario) or he’s going to die horribly and be reincarnated again. Poor guy.

This is just as good this time as the previous time I read these. I think Corum really is one of Moorcock’s best creations and I sure hope the rest of the series holds up as well.

★★★★★

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Gear (One Piece #40) ★★✬☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Gear
Series: One Piece #40
Arc: Water Seven #9
Author: Eiichiro Oda
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 225
Words: 10K




From Wikipedia:

"Casualties"

"Power Level"

"Enies Lobby Main Island Express"

"Fired"

"Demon Lair"

"Luffy vs. Blueno"

"Signal the Counterattack"

"There Is a Way"

"Unprecedented"

"Gear"

"Gear Two"

The Straw Hats lay waste to Enies Lobby, defeating anyone who tries to keep them from Robin. As the rest of the crew deals with the less formidable guardians of the island, Luffy goes ahead and calls out to CP9. Only one member of CP9, Blueno, agrees to fight him, remembering how quickly Luffy was defeated in their last encounter. As the battle progresses Luffy demonstrates his ability to use one of CP9's abilities. After using his "Gear Two" and before demonstrating his "Gear Three", Luffy defeats Blueno and calls out to Robin that he is there to rescue her.




This could have been a fantastic volume. It was one massive battle as the Straw Hat Pirates and Frankie’s “family” came to rescue Robin and Frankie from the stronghold of the World Government. I could actually follow most of the action, which isn’t a given with how swirly the manga-ka usually does his battles. I also thought how the various crew members getting stronger was well done. Even Usopp, excuse me, I mean “Sniper King” is getting better at surviving extinction level events. And Luffy’s battle with one of the CP9? It went fantastically.

But.

There were simply too many double paged spreads. That might work in a paper magazine or even in a tankouban (the manga you see in a bookstore) just fine. But I’m reading this digitally, on my computer. And my options are to either shrink to a 2 page spread (and lose a ton of details and possible what the characters are saying) or to stick to 1 page at a time and have to flip back and forth to get the full picture of the action as it is spread across 2 pages and goes from top to bottom. It was incredibly frustrating.

In the manga-ka’s defense, digital wasn’t nearly as big when this was originally published. But I’m reading it now, not 13 years ago. And even then, trying to open a tankouban fully usually meant breaking the spine or having details on the inner edge being lost to view. SO NOT GOOD. THEN OR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! HERE ME RAWWWWWWR!

Therefore I am going to be inventing time travel so I can send Oda-sensei this review, so that he flipping knocks it off. There’s no need for double page spreads. Period. And if he continues them, well, then you’ll know the REAL reason why Kyle Reese and the T800 went back in time.

★★✬☆☆