Santiago: A Myth of the Far Future (Santiago #1) ★★★★★

 

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Title: Santiago: A Myth of the Far Future
Series: Santiago #1
Author: Mike Resnick
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 328
Words: 116K

Another re-read of an old favorite and thankfully, this time it stood the test. Like other “favorites” I had read this in highschool and Bibleschool multiple times and loved it. Read it again in ‘12 and loved it then too. But after my time in November of re-reading a couple of old favorites and finding them wanting, I went into this very hesitantly.

And wonder of wonders, it was grand and big and all space shoot’y and awesome and everything that I wanted in a Myth of the Far Future! It’s a simple story with simple characters and a simple universe. If you want massive backstories explaining every single detail, forget it. If you want characters with bio’s running from their childhood to the present, forget it. Use your own flipping imagination for once and Resnick will give you the ride of a lifetime here. I can see myself moving beyond this like I have the other books, but I am reveling in the fact that right now, it is still the same fantastic book as ever.

The other thing I’m going to talk about here are the various covers.

This is the cover of the mass market paperback that I read back in the 90’s. That orangey yellow is what made it stand out on the revolving book rack in the library. The guy with the funny haircut holding out the paper with the spaceship in the background promised mystery and adventure and cool stuff and boy howdy, I got all of that.

When Resnick turned his books into ebooks, I believe he had to use new covers because he didn’t own the rights to the originals. So he went with this stock photo (and he used it for the sequel ebook too) and overall, it works well. We’re dealing with Space and the farthest reaches of where mankind can go, so something haunting like this feeds into that idea.

This is the ebook cover this time around. Resnick is now dead, so I don’t know if he chose this before his passing or it ended up the decision of his estate. Either way, it’s rather blah and very homecomputer graphics looking. Why you would choose to read this book based on that cover is beyond me.

And that should wrap things up. Cheers!

★★★★★

• Santiago (2012 Review)

• All of My “Mike Resnick” Reviews

Eye of the Storm (Bone #16) ★★☆☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Eye of the Storm
Series: Bone #16
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 22
Words: 1K

We get 22 pages of Gran’ma Ben, Thorn and Fone Bone running in the dark and rain away from a huge swarm of rat creatures and Gran’ma Ben being all angry about the red dragon. Fone hollers out for the dragon’s help, it comes and chases the rat creatures away, disappears and Gran’ma reveals that the dragon doesn’t always come and that’s why she is so angry at it. The issue ends with a big text “Next: Gran’ma’s Story”.

Gotta admit, if I had paid the cover price of $3 and this was all I had gotten, I’d have screamed bloody murder, called Smith some foul and uncomplimentary names and quit Bone and begin an Anti-Jeff Smith crusade to destroy him for taking my hard earned money and giving me nothing but this. I do not know how this comic survived, I really don’t! Smith is milking this like it’s a pregnant holstein cow (the black and white ones you always see in movies or cartoons giving milk) and he’s doing it shamelessly. I was actually tempted to just stop myself right now in a show of solidarity with my imaginary self. But of course I didn’t pay $3 for this and I am going to keep reading. But knowing that the next couple of issues will be prequel stuff about Gran’ma Ben means that not only has the forward motion of the plot (which we really haven’t had any of for quite a few issues it seems) stopped, but now we’re going backwards. Sigh.

That being said, while I really do try to keep the author out of the story in how I rate or review things, my opinion of Smith is about at its lowest so far. What he gave me could have been done in about 5 pages and the story line advanced a bit more. When I started reading this individual issue by individual issue I was wondering why there were so many (I believe there are 55 issues) and now I know.

I realize you might be wondering why I don’t just dnf this or read them all at once and call it a day. The truth is that I couldn’t afford comics until my later teen years and thus never had the experience of reading something on a monthly basis. That experience is what I am trying to capture by reading this series this way. While it is voluntary on my part, back in the day it wasn’t voluntary and I want to know what that was like, frustrations and all. So that is why. Whether it makes sense to you or not :-)

★★☆☆☆

• All My "Bone" Reviews

Fullmetal Alchemist #1 ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Fullmetal Alchemist #1
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: Hiromu Arakawa
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 184
Words: 9K

I read the first volume of this back in 2007 but had just watched the original anime and it was so similar that I didn’t want to go over the same territory again. Of course, 15 years later the anime is a vague memory and I’d rather read the manga now than watch either the original or Brotherhood.

Ok, basic premise is a world with Alchemists who have “powers” and it’s all based on the laws of alchemy and equivalent exchange. We follow the adventures of the Elric brothers. Edward, who is the elder and the State Certified alchemist is known as the fullmetal alchemist because one of his legs and one of his arms is made up entirely of metal. His younger brother is Alphonse and he is nothing but a big empty suit of animated armor. Their condition came about when they tried to resurrect their dead mother and in the process almost died. They brought something back, but it wasn’t their mother and it doesn’t seem like it came back alive. So their goal now is to restore their bodies back to the way they were.

Within this world, some unnamed country has a very strong army and most of that strength is based on it’s cadre of Alchemists and their varying abilities. They seem to be in the middle of either building an Empire or consolidating one. But either way, nobody likes the Alchemists and the slang nickname for them is Dogs of the Army.

This volume had several standalone adventures about Ed & Al and introduces us to the idea of the Philosopher’s Stone. Said stone is able to bypass the natural laws and the Elrics hope to find it to restore their bodies. They find one, only it turns out to be fake and the guy who used it is being used by some inhuman appearing alchemists who go by the name Lust and Gluttony.

This was a very mixed volume of humor and super serious. It was odd but at the same time it worked for me. I think the following pix showcases that dichotomy rather well.

Ed has just knocked out a terrorist on a train and the two train drivers use the distraction to beat the everliving daylights out of the other terrorist with shovels. They they all give each other the thumbs up and the air is filled with “we are so awesome” symbols (the little stars). It’s ridiculous. But it is funny too.

I know some of my familiarity and non-confusion is because I watched the anime. I don’t know how the world building and character development would appear to someone reading this with no knowledge. I tried to view things through a lens of ignorance, and while I felt I did a pretty good job of that, some things were just impossible to not remember.

Overall, I had a much better impression this time around than I did in ‘07 and that gives me hope the rest of the series will turn out well too. I’m looking forward to diving into more of this as the months roll on.

★★★✬☆

• All My "Fullmetal Alchemist" Reviews

Conan the Invincible (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Conan the Invincible
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Authors: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 205
Words: 69K

In this story, a young Conan is hired to steal some jewels, that, unbeknownst to him, are magical in nature. A rival sorcerer to the one that hired Conan ends up stealing them instead and so Conan decides to track them down because a pleasure slave was also kidnapped and he liked the cut of her gib. Hooking up with bandits who are led by a hot tempered woman warrior, Conan and Co take on snake people, army people and rival sorcerous groups. Lots of death happens. Lots of nudity occurs. In the end, everybody pretty much gets what they deserve.

I enjoyed this. It was on par with some of the better stories by Maddox (I know that’s his middle name, but John Roberts is SOOOO boring) and it gives me hope that what Jordan writes overall will be a notch better. I’m not expecting miracles, as this is Conan after all, but I do hope for more consistency.

One thing I was NOT expecting was the comeuppance that the warrior woman gets at the end. She’d been a real witch the entire book and was NOT a good person, so it was with grim humor that I saw Conan leave her to her fate as a slave at the end. She totally deserved it. The sorcerer getting eaten by the cosmic horror god was right in line with what I expect to happen to sorcerers in a Conan story so I was glad not to be disappointed that way too.

On a completely different note I found a list of around 100 Conan books listed chronologically. That’s a lot of Conan to go around! But it gave me some more authors to hunt down in regards to Conan. What I’ve read so far I’ve enjoyed and I’d like to read as much as I can. I have decided that I’m not going to try to number the Conan books I read but just leave them as standalone stories. I’ll simply read them grouped by author and call that good enough. So far, Howard, Maddox and Jordan have all told standalone tales and I hope any other authors stick to that formula. It works well.

★★★✬☆

• The “Essential Conan” Trilogy

• All of My “Conan” Reviews

Uncle Fred in the Springtime (Blandings Castle #7) ★★★★☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Uncle Fred in the Springtime
Series: Blandings Castle #7
Authors: PG Wodehouse
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Humor
Pages: 224
Words: 73K

I am not sure what it was about this book, or if it was this book in and of itself, that caused me to give it this 4star rating. Maybe it was because it’s been 2 months since I read a Blandings Castle story? Maybe I was extra tired that night and so “everything” seemed funnier? I don’t know why, but this hit my humor spot perfectly this time around.

The main protagonist is an Uncle Fred and he and his get down to Blandings Castle with the usual reasons (money, matrimony, pigs) and the typical chaos ensues. Thankfully, Uncle Fred isn’t as dimwitted as many of Wodehouse’s male protagonists are and thus, while he’s no Einstein, he doesn’t do stupid things, like try to steal his own pig (that’s for Lord Emsworth, the master of Blandings Castle, to do).

When I originally read this in ‘02, my main impression was how stupid everyone was. 20 years later I realize that was youth talking and thinking. Ahhh, callow youth. I’ve come to realize that just because I don’t like something, or how something is done, doesn’t make it stupid. It simply makes those who do things differently from me stupid, the actual action isn’t ;-) All of the various characters had their own reasons for doing what they did in this story and while none of it would have been what I would have done (and hopefully, nobody of sound mind), it wasn’t necessarily stupid.

It had also been long enough that I didn’t remember a single thing from my ‘02 read so it was like I was reading this for the very first time :-D Sometimes knowing you’ve read something doesn’t trigger ANY memories. Isn’t that weird? Some things are crystal clear (like how I’ve mentioned things from when I read my old journals) and others (like this book) are a complete blank. That doesn’t frustrate me though, it simply intrigues me. I like seeing how my own brain works but I don’t want to deep dive and become a neuro-specialist. All I need to know is that my brain is awesome and I’m good to go.

You want more than that? Then I’m afraid your life is going to be filled with frustrations and break downs. Be content. Like Lord Emsworth, hahhaahahaaa. Give that man a pig and he’s completely satisfied. Not trying to say that my brain is a pig, mind you. Because I don’t even eat bacon.

★★★★☆

• All of My "Wodehouse" Reviews

• All of My “Blandings Castle” Reviews

• Uncle Fred in the Springtime (2002 Review)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #12 ★✬☆☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #12
Authors: Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman
Rating: 1.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 39
Words: 2K

Everyone in the group is out having a picnic when some random student stumbles across them. He escaped from ‘hardcore survivalists who made him build them an atom bomb” so they could cleanse America. Said student is then shot by the leader, one Skonk, from 600 yards away using what appears to be an M16 machine gun. Casey and April take the super genius student to a hospital while Splinter and the boys take on the Good Ol’ Boys with names like Jess, Bubba and Skonk. Who want to set off a nuclear bomb (in case you’d forgotten). Donatello removes the plutonium from the bomb without any safety gear and suffers no harm and Kronk remote detonates it thinking it is still a nuclear bomb. In the middle of the woods. In their “bunker”, which is nothing more than a ramshackle old cottage with a dilapidated garage.

This had me rolling my eyes so hard. I was all prepared to show some righteous review anger but man, this was so bad that I ended up just laughing at it. 600 yards is about 900ft, or 600 meters. You don’t shot ANYTHING through the woods that far. It is mainly in urban environments or treeless areas that that is even possible. And you certainly don’t do it with an M16. Sniper rifles are precision tools with wicked long barrels and you pretty much carry them in a case, not dangling over your shoulder on a strap like a man purse. Then you have the “genius” student who builds an a-bomb. I am not even sure where to start in dissecting how stupid that is. Those plans are highly classified and no mere student is going to have the know-how to do any such thing. And then Donatello “simply” removing the plutonium. Awwwwwwwww come on! Seriously? That’s where I simply gave up and just laughed my head off. Next, you have Skonk setting off what he thinks is the a-bomb. In the middle of the woods, with no viable target and no plans for what comes next. That’s not hardcore, that’s just stupid, hahahahaa.

And here’s a picture of the deadly A-bomb. In the garage. Up on saw horses. How can you not laugh at that?

This was a prime example of how to tell a bad story within a framework of the readers already suspending their belief (mutant turtles that are ninjas, for goodness sake). I couldn’t suspend my belief because I happen to know a little bit about guns, about militias and about nuclear bombs. How things were presented simply don’t work the way it was shown. What it shows is that the author knew as much about those things as I do about alien triceratop warriors. Guns, militias and bombs were as real to the author as alien dinosaurs, so he just makes up whatever crap he feels like and runs with it. That’s exactly what bad story telling does. If the authors had talked to even 2 hunters, they could have corrected all of their ideas about guns. If they’d gone to the library and read up on militias (this was done in ‘86 I think?) they’d know that militia groups have to be organized and skilled to survive and are not just cults with guns. If while they were at the library they’d read up on nuclear weapons, they’d know about radiation poisoning or how almost impossible it is to obtain fissionable material. But nope, they sat in their little room and made crap up.

I had no idea going into this issue that I’d be going off on a rant like this. But come on, what else am I supposed to do? Just let it slide?

This was also the issue where Eastman and Laird decided to kind of split and each would do an alternate issue, thus allowing them to focus on other comic ideas they had. I’m going to just keep on listing both their names in my reviews and even when guest authors come in, simply ignore that. Keeping track of the whims of the Artistic Type is more than I want to deal with when reading a bleeding comic book.

I’ve also realized that several of the covers I have for these issues are the complete spread, encompassing the front cover and the back, which forms a complete whole. Instead of chopping them up like I have been doing and making the “usual” sized cover, I’m going to be using the full version. So the first part of the review will have all the data under the cover instead of beside it like is normal. And this review is now approaching 900 words, so it is beyond time to quit before I lose myself here.

★✬☆☆☆

• All My “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” Reviews

Slay Ride ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Slay Ride
Series: ----------
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Weird Fiction
Pages: 213
Words: 86K

There were 7 short stories and then a full length novel (by the standards of yesteryear, today jackasses call it a novella) by John Wyndham, best known for his novel Day of the Triffids. I was not a fan of that novel and so wasn’t expecting much from this one. I was not disappointed. Wyndham’s novel is boring and blasé and as snobby as you can expect from a London is the Center of the World jackass.

Thankfully, a few of the short stories really carried the collection. Unfortunately, they came before the novel so the book as a whole was dragged down. But looking back, overall things were weird. Every once in a while an Alfred Hitchcock collection includes a story that outright disturbs me and makes me wonder what am I thinking in reading his stuff. This collection had one of those stories.

Party Games by James Burke is about a childrens birthday party where the local social outcast comes uninvited and the story ends with him murdering the birthday boy’s father because the boys locked the outcast in a closet during one game. It was just horrific, not because it was graphic but because the writer did a fantastic job of creating this aura of dread that hung over every paragraph. It was simply unsettling. I think as long as I keep finding stories like this disturbing that I am ok. It will be once I stop being made uncomfortable that I have something to worry about.

★★★☆☆

• All of My “Alfred Hitchcock” Reviews

Unsouled (Cradle #1) ★✬☆☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Unsouled
Series: Cradle #1
Author: Will Wight
Rating: 1.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: YA Fantasy
Pages: 243
Words: 89K

This novel starts with a dedication “To Devin, who reads as many web novels as I do”. That right there is a big fat warning sign that I should have given more weight to. If you don’t know, web novels tend to be written by chinese authors, chapter at a time centered around the most tropey of tropes that you can possibly think of. It would be like if 1000 authors suddenly started writing like David Eddings about castles and princes and princesses and wizards and stuff. It’s not necessarily bad, but it is by no means good quality stuff.

The writing is just fine but I want nothing to do with web novel inspired trash. Call me a snob, but that’s what it is. And I don’t want to support it in any way. If a place like Royal Road is your jam, then this novel and this series might be right up your alley. But for heavens sake, please don’t tell me. I don’t want to know that I helped anyone in this regards :-/

★✬☆☆☆

Asterix in Switzerland (Asterix #16) ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Asterix in Switzerland
Series: Asterix #16
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

The governor of Gaul is short changing the books and so Caesar sends an accountant to find out what’s what. The governor poisons the accountant who then asks Getafix for help. The only cure is a small flower found in the mountains of Helvetia (Switzerland), so of course off Asterix and Obelix go.

Goscinny and Uderzo (the artists) have a great time skewering the Swiss for being neat freaks who eat nothing but cheese fondues. It was quite amusing. While the pirates aren’t given any actual panel time, they are mentioned by the romans and appear to have ended up sinking their own ship, haahahahaa.

I might have pointed this out before, but several times there are a mix of panel sizes and it’s not obvious which direction you are supposed to read them in, so the authors kindly inserted big black arrows to show where you were supposed to go next. Why can’t American comics do that? It was super helpful and done in such a way that the arrows didn’t detract from the panels at all. It was done with skill. Today’s artists could take a lesson, and should.

I am giving this 3stars instead of 3.5 though, because at the beginning of the story the Chief fires his shield bearers and uses Asterix and Obelix and it’s strictly used to make a lot of bad puns and word plays. If that’s your kind of thing, then you’ll probably laugh your head off. I just groaned.

★★★☆☆

• All of My “Asterix” Reviews

His Last Bow (Sherlock Holmes #8) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: His Last Bow
Series: Sherlock Holmes #8
Author: Arthur Doyle
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Mystery
Pages: 233
Words: 67K

I went into this thinking this was the final entry in the Sherlock Holmes canon by Doyle. Another fine collection of short stories. But when I clicked the button on my kindle to turn what I thought was the final page, it appears that there is another whole book, The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, after this one. I must admit, that stuck in my mind more than any of the stories in this collection did.

There was not a bad story here. I don’t remember thinking, even once, “Man, I wish this story had been cut”. But at the same time, nothing was very memorable either. I hesitate to call this collection mediocre but it is really leaning that way. If it weren’t for Sherlock Holmes being such a foundational character to the whole mystery genre, I think I would have labeled this mediocre.

I have not been tagging any of these Holmes reviews with the “classic” tag because I have not really enjoyed the stories. But the truth of the matter is that these stories have shown they have staying power and still interest people today. So I am adding that tag to this review and am mentally adding it to my previous reviews (mentally only, because I don’t care enough to go and do the actual work. Ain’t nobody got time for ‘dat!).

Thinking about my feelings about Doyle and his whoring out by writing more Sherlock stories even when he was done with the character brought to mind his modern counterpart and opposite, GRR Martin. Doyle tried to kill off his series and end it while Martin has simply refused to finish his series and admitted that the tv show ending is all that fans are going to get. On one hand I castigate Doyle for being a literary whore and on the other I castigate Martin for being a bastard. Authors just can’t win with me. Which is why I like my authors either dead or as names only and not as people.

The reason I write that is because reading a book, or a series of books, involves more than just the words on the page. Our emotions are part of the process, whether good or bad and we have to realize that. Which is why it is important to follow a blogger over a longer period of time (more than a week, for goodness sake!) to see how they judge things. Just because somebody likes Dune by Frank Herbert doesn’t mean my tastes are going to align with theirs most of the time. And just because I rate a favorite book of yours highly doesn’t mean I’m going to review books that you want to see reviewed. The whole intersection between book reviewing and blogging is still on my mind and so these peculiar thoughts pop up at the oddest times and I have to get them out where I can so I don’t forget about them. I realize it can overshadow the book itself (I think I’ve written more about this than the actual book) but I don’t read books in a vacuum and is part of the whole blogging experience. Trying to divorce myself from that aspect of writing is what led me to take off the whole month of October this year.

When I read a book, tangential thoughts pop up like moles. And when I go to write about that tangential thought in the review, it can lead me down paths that have almost nothing to do with the book in question. I do try to be careful and post the road signs so I’m not just jumping from one random thought to another, but sometimes that happens because it happens in my head.

All of that is a roundabout way of saying that just because a particular review might be short doesn’t mean I don’t have a boatload of thoughts on the book. Most of the time I just don’t want to go down the rabbit trails and all the various cliffs they inevitably lead to. Sherlock Holmes might be able to read my mind by knowing my word choice, but I don’t expect any of you who follow me to do such a thing.

And if you think this review was incoherent and chaotic, you’re correct. I had to do a 12hr fast for blood work labs and was wicked hungry when I wrote this. Tough to think straight when all you can have is water :-/

★★★✬☆

• All of my “Sherlock Holmes” reviews