Friday, April 28, 2023

Web of Spiderman #6-9 ★★☆☆☆

 





This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Web of Spiderman #6-9
Writer: Danny Fingeroth, Peter David, David Michelinie
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 95
Words: 8K


From Marvel.Fandom.com

Synopsis for "Gold Rush!"

Story continued from Secret Wars II #2...

The Kingpin is woken up at 3:00 am with some troubling news. He places a call to a man Bainbridge. As he waits for the man to answer, he figures out the financial worth of the current crisis and realizes that it could make the great depression seem like prosperous times. When Bainbridge answers the phone, the Kingpin explains what must be done...

While elsewhere in Manhattan, Mary Jane Watson cannot sleep, her mind keeps coming back to the fact that she had recently revealed to Peter Parker that she's known that he's secretly Spider-Man for years[Continuity 1]. She struggles with the fact that she can't be with someone that risks their lives on a daily basis, and although she is still friends with Peter she cannot shake the feelings she has for him. As she considers the strange twist of fate she finds herself in, she notices that there is a fire some blocks away and wonders what the cause of it could be.


At the site of the fire is the man of Mary Jane's thoughts, Spider-Man who is at the scene of the office building that formerly housed the Heroes for Hire until the Beyonder recently turned the structure entirely into gold just moments ago. Realizing that there might be people trapped inside the building despite the late hour, Spider-Man enters the building and begins finding those who are trapped inside and finds that everything except for humans has been turned into gold.[Continuity 2] As Spidey searches for survivors, those few who are still up at this late hour find it almost impossible to believe that a building can be turned into gold. However, before anyone can capitalize on this, the Kingpin calls in to his contacts in Washington D.C. to assist in closing off the area to prevent people from making off or learning about this sudden cache of gold, as it could cause a financial crisis. Hard pressed for resources, the government makes a deal with the Kingpin even though they realize that they are making a deal with the proverbial devil.


Unaware of this deal, Spider-Man continues to rescue those trapped in the building as two police officers arrive. When the cops wonder how they will keep the public away from a giant pile of gold, they soon find themselves surrounded by a heavily armed guard of gangsters and street thugs. They are soon relieved by government agent Charles Anderson who explains to the two officers that these men as assisting in keeping the area secure until the military arrives. When Spider-Man returns to the outside he recognizes some of the armed men as enforcers for the Kingpin. He also witnesses as the owner of the building, Henry Trumpsley, is forced to accept a check buying his property and is escorted off the property.


When Anderson tells Spider-Man to leave, the Wall-Crawler refuses to tell him that he can rescue the people trapped inside easier. Despite being shot at, Spider-Man slips back inside, wondering what the Kingpin has to do with the recovery. Seeing that he is unable to stop Spider-Man, and hard pressed for resources, Anderson orders the men to hold their fire and let Spider-Man do his job.


As the work continues on, over in Queens Aunt May and her fiancée Nathan Lubensky mull over the financial problems they're having keeping their elderly boarding house afloat.


By this time, the military has arrived and begun slowly removing the gold and shipping it out of the area and a massive barrier is being erected around the block to prevent people from seeing it. By the time the press arrives, there is speculation going around as to what the military is clearing out of the area. Inside the wreckage, Spider-Man continues to pull people out of the building. For the most part, everyone is alive, but he does come across one dead body within the wreckage. After bringing the body out, Spidey decides to take a break and take into consideration that scope of what the Beyonder has done. Everything, including simple trash, has been turned into gold, a discarded notebook that was considered trash hours earlier is now worth a small fortune. When Peter considers how much he and his Aunt May could benefit from something as small as a solid gold notebook, Peter wrestles with his desires and what he feels is the right thing to do and leaves the notebook behind. Spider-Man's attention is drawn to another individual who is trapped in the building. However, upon closer inspection, the Wall-Crawler learns that the reason why the man is trapped is that he was attempting to carry out all his personal possessions that had been turned into gold and that the weight of it all had pinned him to the floor. The man is unwilling to give it all up until the roof begins to collapse over their head and he begs Spider-Man to save him.


With the last of the people out of the building, Spider-Man is about to web-sling away when he notices a black limo pull up to Anderson. Spider-Man is shocked to see that it is his old foe the Kingpin, and becomes angry when he witnesses a number of soldiers loading several gold typewriters into his limo. Furious that he must struggle through life while a known criminal like the Kingpin gets free gold from the government, Spider-Man finally has enough and decides to get what he believes he deserves. Jumping back into the ruins of the building, he recovers the gold notepad that he previously decided to leave behind. Exiting the building he confronts Anderson and tells him that he saw the transaction between him and the Kingpin and shows him that he intends to keep a reward for himself. After angrily chastising the government official, Spider-Man swings off leaving Anderson to consider what he has just done.


This story and Secret Wars II continues in Amazing Spider-Man #268...



Synopsis for ""Welcome... ...to My Nightmare!""

Peter Parker is having a dream wherein he has arrived at the Daily Bugle completely naked to see if Joe Robertson is in. Betty Leeds sends him through, not noticing that he is not wearing clothes. Likewise, Peter doesn't seem the least bit concerned that the Daily Bugle staff is comprised of heroes and villains. Betty warns Peter that Joe is in a bad mood, but he assures her that he can handle it. However, when he arrives outside Robertson's office he is shocked to see the Hulk come smashing out. With this threat before him, Peter's original Spider-Man costume begins to appear upon him. The other people in the Bugle begin to run, telling Spider-Man to run. With the Hulk looming over him, Spider-Man can't find a way to fight back. Thinking a change of costume will confuse the Hulk, Spider-Man's costume suddenly changes to his black and white costume and flees from the Daily Bugle building. Suddenly, the Daily Bugle building collapses. Examining the rubble, Spider-Man discovers the Hulk is still alive. As his costume continues to alternate between red-and-blue and black-and-white, he tries to battle the gamma-spawned monster. Despite his efforts, the wall-crawler is grabbed by the Hulk and tossed at the Brooklyn Bridge. However, instead of being splattered against the metal frame of the bridge, he rips through it like a piece of canvas. On the other side, the web-slinger finds himself falling into a void. He hears a voice calling out for help, but can't find any way to save himself from falling.


Suddenly, Peter Parker wakes up and realizes that this was all a dream. Even though he is in his Spider-Man costume and has a coffee machine in his apartment, Peter doesn't realize that he's still dreaming. When he hears someone cry for help, he looks out his window and sees his Aunt May's home down below. Fearing the worst, Peter puts on his mask and swings down to the house. There, Spider-Man watches in horror as the Burglar with an automatic weapon mowing down his Uncle Ben, Aunt May, Gwen and George Stacy, Mary Jane, and Betty Leeds.[Continuity 1] Horrified to see all his loved ones dead, Peter demands to know why the Burglar killed them. Fleeing the scene, the Burglar tells him that this is what Spider-Man wanted, that he needs guilt to keep going. Spider-Man denies this and in a fit of rage follows after the Burglar. Suddenly, Spider-Man finds himself replaying his confrontation with the Burglar at the Acme Warehouse.[Continuity 2] Spider-Man knocks the crook out, but this time when he gets a good look, he has the face of Peter Parker. This is a shock to Peter but this puts him in a state of despair that he believes that Spider-Man is actually responsible for the death of his loved ones.


Accepting defeat, Spider-Man doesn't resist when the Hulk comes smashing through the wall to destroy him. However, when the Hulk smashes the floor, it breaks away and the pair both fall into some water below. Once again he hears a voice calling out for help and begins swimming toward the voice. This leads him into a sewer where he finds the creature that calls itself Nightmare. It begs Spider-Man for help as the Hulk has been chasing him and begs Spider-Man to save him before his realm is destroyed. Spider-Man finally clues in to the fact that he is dreaming. However, Nightmare warns him that if he dies here, he will die in real life. When the Hulk catches up to them, Spider-Man lures the brute out to the surface. Spider-Man is surprised that this dreamscape looks just like Manhattan. Surfing in the air on a manhole cover, Spider-Man loses the Hulk around the Statue of Liberty. He returns to Nightmare and demands to know why Nightmare's realm looks like Manhattan. Nightmare explains that his realm takes on aspects that are familiar to those who are trapped in it and that only an adept can see it as it truly is. When Spider-Man mentions the name of Doctor Strange, Nightmare curses his foe, blaming him for everything that has happened. Spider-Man demands answers, and Nightmare tells the wall-crawler that Doctor Strange cursed his realm with Bruce Banner's sleeping mind.[Continuity 3]


Nightmare goes on to say that this dream-form of the Hulk is just as powerful as the real thing and that he chose Spider-Man due to his sense of responsibility and his previous experience battling the Hulk. That's when the Hulk comes crashing through again. Spider-Man blinds the behemoth with some webbing, allowing them to flee. Nightmare takes Spider-Man to the very edge of his realm where there is nothing but a white void that Nightmare states is a realm of utter madness. When the Hulk catches up to them once again, Spider-Man battles it the best he can, and ultimately uses his superior agility to knock the Hulk into the void, destroying it. Exhausted, Spider-Man is glad it is over so he can finally return to the waking realm. However, Nightmare has other ideas, telling the hero that he intends to keep him in the Nightmare Realm to defend him forever. Suddenly, the Hulk reaches out from the void and grabs Nightmare dragging him in. Nightmare begs Spider-Man for help, reminding Spider-Man of his sense of responsibility. Instead, Spider-Man turns away trying to ignore Nightmare's sickening screams. Spider-Man does have a responsibility to himself, as well as others. As he leaves Nightmare's realm, he tries to ignore the horror he has seen, reminding himself that if he saved Nightmare, he'd be trapped in his realm forever and unable to save anyone ever again.


Suddenly, Spider-Man wakes up and is suprirsed to see his landlord, high neighbors, and the police standing at the foot of his bed. As it turns out, his nightmare was so intense his screams woke everyone up and they called the cops. His landlady Maimie Muggins is upset that he made such a racket. His neighbors are a little more sympathetic, when Peter tells him he forgot what the nightmare was about. However, he thinks that sometimes it is better that way.



Synopsis for "Local Superhero!"

Years Ago:[Continuity 1]


In the vastness of space, a planet explodes, hurtling debris across the universe. One such chunk ends up crashing in a junkyard on planet Earth in the small town of Smithville, Pennsylvania. The following morning, Frank Hopkins reports for work at the Smithville Savings Bank. He arrives late for work much to the annoyance of his employer. After being snubbed by Marge, the bank typist, he meets with his co-worker Irving. Irving has two tickets to an orchestra performance that evening and Frank accepts an invitation to join. That evening, Frank waits outside for Irving, who is running late. Suddenly, he hears a scream in a back alley and sees a pair of thugs tar and feathering Irving. Around his neck is an antisemitic sign reading "Jew Boy". When Hopkins tries to stop them, he is beaten up and left in the alley. The two thugs then throw Irving in the back of a pick-up truck and attempt to flee. Frank grabs ahold of the tailgate and holds on for dear life. However, despite his heroic efforts, the speeding vehicle shakes him loose, sending Frank Hopkins rolling into the junkyard. Trying to get up, Frank uses the chunk of space rock to steady himself. Suddenly he feels funny and gets up with no further pain. Walking home, Hopkins dismisses this as nothing but adrenaline.


Returning home, Frank goes through old newspaper clippings of heroes like Captain America and the Human Torch, who were active in World War II. He wishes that there were heroes like that around in this day and age to prevent such acts of violence.[Continuity 2] The next morning, the front page story in the papers is about the beating of Irving Stein, who is now recovering in hospital. Reading this at work, Frank Hopkins once more wishes there was something that could have been done for poor Irving. At lunchtime, Frank goes out into the bank parking lot to eat his lunch. When he accidentally drops his apple under a car, he is surprised when he somehow manages to lift the car off the ground in order to retrieve it. Not believing what just happened, Hopkins attempts to lift the car again. He is surprised that he is able to lift it over his head. Putting it back down he wonders what he should do with this newfound power. When he walks around the front of the bank, he witnesses the two thugs who beat up Irving as they trip a young African-American boy. Suddenly, Frank Hopkins has some inspiration.


That evening, Frank returns home and gathers an old pair of long johns, some dye, and some markers and gets to work. Putting on this outfit and a mask, Frank Hopkins goes out looking for the guys who beat up his friend. He finds them roughing up a man who just walked out of a liquor store. Frank easily trounces these youths before the eyes of astonished bystanders, who proclaim him a hero.


Now:


Peter Parker is meeting with Joe Robertson at the offices of the Daily Bugle. He is upset that Joe is once again refusing to buy photos of Spider-Man. Joe tells him that if he used every photo of Spider-Man they have in his files, they could publish them for a year-and-a-half. Sympathetic of Peter's situation, Joe assigns him to a story that Joe is researching for the Sunday Suppliment. It is regarding the true identity of the Smithville Thunderbolt, a local hero in Pennsylvania. With no other choice, Peter grudgingly accepts the assignment and is soon on a bus to Smithville. The whole way, Peter complains to himself about how hard it is to make a living now that Joe Robertson is less interested in photos of Spider-Man.[Continuity 3] Soon, Peter arrives in Smithville and once off the bus a young man runs by warning everyone of a fire. Peter sees a nearby abandoned home billowing with smoke. With everyone off the bus, Peter slips inside to change into Spider-Man to save anyone who is trapped inside.


However, no sooner is Spider-Man on a rooftop opposite the other building, he witnesses the Smithville Thunderbolt running onto the scene. The wall-crawler decides to sit back and watch things from the back of the burning building. As Spider-Man climbs into the building, the Thunderbolt leaps out with two children out the front. The web-slinger looks around but can hardly see through the smoke. Suddenly, his spider-sense begins going off, warning him of danger. However, he is too late to stop a huge bruiser in overalls from striking him from behind. The strength of the blow causes Spider-Man to break through the floor to the main level of the house. Looking at who he attacked, the mysterious attacker realizes that this isn't the Smithville Thunderbolt and leaves. Spider-Man recovers from the blow and witnesses the Thunderbolt leap away. Wanting to learn more, Spider-Man tags the local hero with a spider-tracer. With the danger over, Spider-Man decides to change back into his civilian guise before he is spotted. Later, Peter Parker begins tracing the signal from the spider-tracer. It lures him to a dumpster, and Peter fears that the Thunderbolt discarded his tracer. Suddenly, someone from behind compliments him on his camera. It's a woman, and when he thanks her for the compliment and that he uses it for journalism, the woman gets upset. Turns out, the woman is Roxanne DeWinter a reporter for the Smithville Gazette, and she views Peter's presence as competition for her attempts at learning the Thunderbolts identity. However, she quickly changes her tone when she learns that Peter works for the Daily Bugle and insists on buying him lunch.


Soon the pair are sitting down at a diner where Roxanne explains that she is looking for a big scoop so she can finally get out of Smithville. She figures that learning the Thunderbolt's true identity is her ticket out of town. She suggests that the two of them work together, but Peter declines, saying that he works better alone. He thanks her for lunch and heads out. However, Roxanne DeWinter refuses to be blown off so easily. Moments later, Peter is back at the dumpster, but doesn't find any trace of his spider-tracer. Suddenly, he picks up a faint signal and leaps over the dumpster to track it, unaware that DeWinter is following after him. The signal leads Peter to a modest looking home. He then slips around to the side of the house and changes back into Spider-Man and tries to find a way inside so he can recover his spider-tracer. Not far away, Roxanne DeWinter has lost sight of Peter since going back for her car, but deduces that he is in the only inhabited house in the area. Inside the house, Spider-Man introduces himself to Frank Hopkins, who is shocked to see Spider-Man in his home. Saying he has come to recover his property and follows the signal to a closet. Before Frank can stop it, the wall-crawler opens it and is shocked to discover the costume belonging to the Smithville Thunderbolt.


Unaware that Roxanne DeWitter is listening outside his door, Frank Hopkins confesses that he is the Smithville Thunderbolt. He begs Spider-Man not to tell anyone because he believes he will be humiliated and ridiculed. He explains that he got his power a number of decades ago, but they are now starting to fade. He reveals that he has been using ordering scientific equipment to build devices that could roughly mimic is fading powers. Frank then reveals that with crime at an all time low in Smithville, he would manufacture dangers so he could still play hero. He reveals that he staged the "fire" in the house with smoke bombs and hide in the dumpster after his "daring" rescue. He once more begs Spider-Man not to reveal his secrets, fearing he will be laughed out of town. That's when Spider-Man hears a creaking floorboard from behind a door and ues his webbing to open the door. Before they can react, Roxanne snaps a photo of Frank in costume with his mask off. As Spider-Man tries to recover the camera from Roxanne, his spider-sense begins to go off. Suddenly, the strong man that attacked Spider-Man earlier comes bursting through the wall. He intends to kill Frank, insisting that he is the true Smithville Thunderbolt.



Synopsis for "The Twilight Heroes"

Years Ago:[Continuity 1]


A planet explodes, sending debris across the universe. One piece came to the planet Earth, breaking in two as it entered the atmosphere. One half ended up in a junkyard in Smithville, Pennsylvania. The other half ends up crashing in a nearby farmers field.


One Year Ago:[Continuity 2]


Ludlow Grimes is toiling away, plowing his field by horse. Suddenly, his plow blade strikes a rock. Ludlow digs it out and suddenly feels strange, but dismisses it as getting too much sun. When his wife calls him back to the farmhouse for dinner, he simply tosses the rock away and heads in. Down at the homestead, Ludlow is greeted by his wife and children as they set the kitchen table. When Ludlow's wife tries to swat a fly, Grimes offers to do it for her. With a single swat, Ludlow not only kills the fly but smashes through the front door with his bare hands. Ludlow is confused by what happened, but his family is frightened. His wife now thinks her husband is a monster and tells him to get out.


Now:


Ludlow Grimes has smashed his way into the home of Fred Hopkins, who has just been outted as the Smithville Thunderbolt by Spider-Man and reporter Roxanne DeWinter. Ludlow pronounces himself the true Smithville Thunderbolt and intends to kill Hopkins. Spider-Man gets between the two men and tells Frank to flee. However, Hopkins can't bring himself to go, wishing there was something he could do, but doesn't feel confident as his powers are fading. Meanwhile, Roxanne DeWinter snaps photos of the battle, intent on getting the scoop on this story in order to advance her career and get out of Smithville. Eventually, the Smithville Thunderbolt loses his nerve and flees. Spider-Man continues to struggle with Ludlow, and tells Roxanne to get out as well. However, she refuses to leave until she is finished her roll of film. Spider-Man, manages to briefly stun Grimes and tells Roxanne to get a move on. She agrees and tells Spider-Man that she will call the cops after to drops her film off to be developed. The pair begins to fight again, but Ludlow gets frightened off by the sound of a police siren and flees the scene. With an officer banging on the door, Spider-Man takes his leave as well, wondering what he should do next.


Changing back to Peter Parker, the hero goes to the Smithville Gazette to try and stop Roxanne from developing the film. However, he arrives too late, as she has finished processing the photos. He tells her that he knows what happened and who Frank Hopkins is and pleads with her to destroy the pictures. He tries to convince her that this revelation will ruin Frank's life and he doesn't deserve it after all he has done for the community. Roxanne refuses to listen because she is still chasing fame and heads off to the printers with her photos. Meanwhile, Frank Hopkins has changed back into his civilian clothes and returns to his home. Talking to the police, he pretends to have no idea what happened at his home. After assuring the police that he isn't in any danger, he goes back into his home. There he pulls out his binder full of newspaper clippings of his exploits as the Thunderbolt. He laments on how he is a nobody without his powers, which are now fading. Knowing that Roxanne DeWinter will ruin his life with her exposé, he takes a gun out of his deskdrawer and briefly considers murdering her. However, he can't bring himself to take a human life and decides to find some other way.


Elsewhere, Ludlow travels through a nearby swamp, confident that nobody will find him here. Looking at his reflection in the water, Grimes begins to think back to the events of the past year. He remembers how his wife thought he was a monster since he got his powers and kicking him out of his own home. He went to the local church for guidance, but the priest insisted that his powers were the product of the devil and shunned him. Soon, a lynch mob was out searching for him forcing him to flee into the wilderness. For a whole year, Ludlow lived off the land. One day he happened upon a newspaper article about the Smithville Thunderbolt and became jealous how he was respected and treated as a hero with his powers. Grimes then came up with his plan to kill the Thunderbolt and take his place so that he could be considered a hero. This all brought him to Hopkin's home and his clash with Spider-Man. Later, as rain begins to fall over the town, Roxanne DeWinter drives the Smithville Gazette news van to the printers. Still intending to try and convince Roxanne to drop the story, Peter has changed back into Spider-Man and is hitching a ride on the roof of the van.


As they drive down a country road, they are spotted by a downed tree to block the road. When Roxanne is forced to stop, her car won't move and rocks begin to tumble down toward the road. As Spider-Man leaps into action, Roxanne tries to flee, only to be carried to safety by the Smithville Thunderbolt. Unfortunately, Spider-Man discovers that the rockslide was fake, another one of the Thunderbolt's fake rescues. Before the heroes can remove the tree, they are ambushed by Ludlow Grimes. As Roxanne slips into her van and tries to get away. However, when Spider-Man tosses Ludlow, it strikes the van knocking it over the side of the road and down a cliff. Seeing that the van is caught in some tree branches, the Thunderbolt overcomes his fears to climb down and try and save Roxanne. While Grimes and Spider-Man battle it out, Frank manages to save Roxanne, who is grateful that he had done so, even without his powers. By this point, Ludlow has knocked Spider-Man out and is annoyed to hear that Hopkins has no powers. Ludlow is about to lambaste Frank but sees how frightened he looks and realizes that they are the same. By the time Spider-Man recovers from Grimes' beating, the situation has defused itself.


The next day, the life of Ludlow Grimes takes a fortuitous turn, as he is enlisted by S.H.I.E.L.D. Finally finding a place to belong, Ludlow is finally happy. After witnessing this, Peter Parker is about to head out, when he sees that Roxanne still published the story about the Thunderbolt's true identity. Furious, Peter goes down to the Gazette office and confronts DeWinter over this revelation. She still doesn't care as she is confident that this will boost her career. Suddenly, they hear a mob heading toward Hopkin's home, thinking it is a lynch mob, Peter rushes to see what he can do to stop them. However, much to his surprise, the townspeople have come to celebrate their local hero. Roxanne is about to gloat about how her story caused no harm she is suddenly silenced by the sound of a gunshot. Peter forces the front door open and discovers that Frank Hopkins committed suicide. Sadened by this turn of events, Peter Parker walks away without saying another word. Roxanne DeWinter, however, pulls a camera out of her handbag and takes a picture of Smithville's fallen hero.


SEPARATOR

Ahhh yes, I had really forgotten just how political and left leaning most comic book artists were and are. The Government defines what is right and wrong, as they are the Highest Authority. Gawwwwww, that really chaps my britches. There is a scene in Issue #6 where Spiderman is going to rescue a man who is weighed down with gold items (that were his own before getting transformed to gold) and Spiderman lectures him on how it is now ALL the Governments because they said so and so he can’t take it with him because that would be illegal. It was so mind boggling wrong that I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the issue. It was also a cross over issue within the larger Secret Wars II series. They did a good job of bringing me the reader up to speed in one page, but the FOMO (fear of missing out) being produced for the rest of the comics books dealing with Secret Wars II was almost palpable. 2 stars for hypocrisy by artists who were at the forefront of the dammed commie led hippie revolution.

Issue #7 was a dream/nightmare sequence where Nightmare drags Spiderman into the Nightmare realm to save him from a manifestation of the Hulk that Dr Strange sic’d on him. It was obviously filler and made almost zero sense but I just rolled with it. The funny thing was at the end of the issue the land lady had called the cops because Peter had been screaming in his sleep and she’s in his apartment along with 2 cops and 3 chicks in their nightwear and Peter’s lounging in bed with only briefs on and everybody’s totally cool with it all. Only in comicbook land. 3 stars for blondes in nightgowns though.

Issue #8 begins a multi-part story about some bank teller who touches a space blob and gets super strength. For a while. Then as it fades he begins faking things to keep up the appearance so people will still say nice things about him. Peter is sent on assignment to cover it and another local writer is involved. Peter finds the fake guy and right at the end of the issue some super brawny guy busts through the wall of the house claiming to be the real Smithville Thunderbolt. It was sad and pathetic. 2 stars for an old man who want the adulation of the unwashed masses.

Issue #9 is where I mentally checked out. The same goop infested some other guy who was a farmer. His ignorant wife rejected him when he accidentally tore a whole in the wall. A priest calls him an agent of Satan. The villagers chase him down with torches and pitchforks. I kid you not. Then “comic book logic” and next thing you know he’s working for S.H.I.E.L.D. and the original Thunderbolt commits suicide because his identify was revealed in the local paper. 2 stars for big city bias and poor story quality.

This was some very poor story telling. It felt like everything was an idea the writers jotted down on a napkin at the tail end of a very short lunch. I realize that top quality story telling is almost impossible for a monthly comic book but my goodness, this stuff was bad. One thing is that Louise Simonson wasn’t involved and I think she was the guiding hand on the first few issues. I am super glad I am not reading these individually. I couldn’t handle just one a month. As it is, I’m going to be discussing with Dave the future of this buddy-read. These 4 issues really make me question if I actually want to read more, sigh.

Here is Dave's review of Web of Spiderman #6-9.

★★☆☆☆

Thursday, April 27, 2023

The Survivor (Mitch Rapp #14) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Survivor
Series: Mitch Rapp #14
Author: Vince Flynn & Kyle Mills
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Thriller
Pages: 336
Words: 104K



From the Publisher and Bookstooge.blog

When Joe “Rick” Rickman, former golden boy of the CIA, steals a massive amount of the Agency’s most classified documents in an elaborate betrayal of his country, CIA director Irene Kennedy has no choice but to send her most dangerous weapon after him: elite covert operative Mitch Rapp.

Rapp quickly dispatches with the traitor, but Rickman proves to be a deadly threat to America even from beyond the grave. In fact, mysterious tip-offs are appearing all over the world, linking to the potentially devastating data that Rickman managed to store somewhere only he knew.

It’s a deadly race to the finish as both the Pakistanis and the Americans search desperately for Rickman’s accomplices, and for the confidential documents they are slowly leaking to the world. To save his country from being held hostage to a country set on becoming the world’s newest nuclear superpower, Mitch Rapp must outrun, outthink, and outgun his deadliest enemies yet.

In the cold of Russia, Rapp finds the hacker who has been releasing the info. He kills the Pakistani’s who are trying to recover it and recovers it himself. Director Kennedy then sends him on a mission to destroy the head of Pakistani Intelligence Agency, as he was the one trying to make use of the data. Rapp kills him with a poison meant for another, thus making it look like a complete accident.


SEPARATOR


This was the first book after Vince Flynn, the original author had died from cancer. His name is prominently on the cover while Kyle Mills is in tiny little print. With this being the first book, I have no idea how much was already done by Flynn or if Mills had to do the bulk of the work. Considering this book was a direct sequel to The Last Man, I’m leaning toward Flynn having done most of the work before his death and Mills stepping in to maybe write the ending and polish it up.

Overall, I’m satisfied with how Mills did. There were a couple of times where Rapp acted a bit more crazy than usual and not as rational and it made me go “oh, there’s Mills’ interpretation of Rapp”. Hoping I won’t have more of those moments with future books.

And that brings me to another issue. The passage of time. It’s not super apparent with each book, but over a decade has passed since the first book. Irene Kennedy’s son is now a 17 year old boy. Mitch is in his mid 40’s. It’s about time for him to retire from active field operations and either take over the training of new recruits or to get a desk job looking at data and planning ops. There are currently 22 books in this series, so I know that Mills keeps up writing. Which means that Rapp doesn’t just retire and we the readers get “the end”. My guess is that several of the books will be prequels, much like what Flynn did with American Assassin, which showcased Rapp’s origin. I guess I’ll be finding out over the coming months! :-)

★★★✬☆



Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Rocketman!! (One Piece #38) ★★★★☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Rocketman!!
Series: One Piece #38
Arc: Water Seven #7
Author: Eiichiro Oda
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 207
Words: 10K



From Wikipedia:

"Reactivation"

"Bingo"

"Departing Soon"

"P.S."

"Ebb Tide"

"Aqua Laguna"

"Kokoro"

"Rocketman!!"

"Sortie!"

"Sniper King"

After the Straw Hats recover from their injuries they discover that Robin has sided with the government in order to save the rest of the crew from destruction. CP9 captures Franky and Usopp and takes them and Robin to Enies Lobby, the government's judiciary island, using a sea train. Sanji sneaks on board in an effort to save them, freeing Usopp and Franky before continuing on to Robin. The rest of the Straw Hats, the loyal members of Galleyla, and Franky's friends, follow on a sea train of their own, unimpeded by the Aqua Laguna.


INSERT SEPARATOR


Man, this was a great entry. The flashback finished up pretty good and we got right back in the action of Luffy and the Strawhats.

Turns out Robin was doing everything she did, not only to satisfy her curiosity about True History, but also to protect the Strawhats from a big confrontation with the World Navy, one which they could not have survived. While it gave me that “rabbit out of a hat” vibe, it did fit in with everything that has gone on before. Plus, it makes Robin much more sympathetic.

We find out that the CP9 is run by a character that had a run-in with Franky and Mr Iceburg years ago and that he has a personal grudge in this whole matter. And the members of the CP9 sink the Merry-Go and take Robin, Usopp and Frankie prisoner for sentencing at a scary World Navy place. So everybody else mounts a rescue mission.

Considering how the CP9 put the total beatdown on the Strawhats previously, it is going to be interesting to see what strategies they come up with to counter the difference in power. Or if they will just power up (make the Mario noise when he gets the star power). We do get a taste of that right at the end. And I think it deserves it’s own paragraph.

Sanji, the karate cook, has jumped on the train carrying the prisoners. He rescues Usopp and Franky and they end up on the top of the train. Sanji tells them what Robin has done and his plans to rescue her. Usopp, who had quit the crew and fought a very one sided dual with Luffy earlier, declines to participate as he’s no longer part of the Strawhats. So he starts to go away. Immediately, a World Government soldier finds Sanji and Franky on the top of the train and is about to shoot them when the soldier is knocked off the train by a “metal star” and a masked hero calling himself Sniper King tells Sanji and Franky that he’ll help them. Of course, it’s Usopp with a mask and cape on, and it’s silly and ridiculous and yet I totally understood it. Usopp is remaking his identity as a pirate and is starting to create The Man, The Myth, The Legend. Now, how long this will go on is questionable and will Usopp truly change or just become plain old Usopp again once he reconciles with the Strawhats, I don’t know. But I really like that the manga-ka is willing to go down this route. Usopp was never my favorite character from the get-go, but so far, he is the character that the manga-ka has used the most in a wide variety of ways. He is the Everyman of the crew, with no powered up abilities and as such his portrayal, in all of the various ways, seems the most genuine. I kind of hope that Sniper King sticks around but I’m not expecting it.

Finally, there are sometimes individual pictures, whether as part of the story or as just little one offs included, that encapsulate the spirit of One Piece. The following is one such picture. It is from the inside cover and it shows the whole gamut of emotions that make up the Strawhats. This is One Piece in a snapshot.


★★★★☆

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Widowmaker Reborn (Widowmaker #2) ★★★★☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Widowmaker Reborn
Series: Widowmaker #2
Author: Mike Resnick
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 198
Words: 64K




From the Publisher and Bookstooge.blog

Jefferson Nighthawk, once the galaxy's most feared killer, is cloned again and given a new mission. This time he is not only armed with the Widowmaker's killing skills, but also with his lifetime of knowledge. Nighthawk's new mission involves the rescue of a corrupt politician's daughter, and the assassination of the rebel leader who holds her captive. But the daughter puts a wrinkle in the plan when she offers her father's fortune if Nighthawk kills her father instead. While the odds are overwhelming, the price may be right.

So Jefferson, the name the clone has decided to go by, finds out that the daughter and the rebel leader are one and the same. He shacks up with the girl, wipes out the corrupt politician and survives. Thus he has to deal with the fact that in a couple of years he too will come down with esplasia.


SEPARATOR

Good stuff! Just as good as last time. I LIKED this version of the Widowmaker. He’s everything I want in a main character. He’s mature. He’s experienced. He’s knowledgeable. He is in control of himself and the situation he finds himself in. I love the fact that he thinks the people who cloned him are scum of the earth and that they will doublecross him as soon as they can. But that doesn’t deter him from doing what he sees as his duty to the original Widowmaker and to himself. He’s a survivor.

I had completely forgotten that the daughter and the rebel leader were the same person, so that little twist was nice to experience all over again. The battle at the end where the Widowmaker and his little crew take down the politician was nice too. Just the right amount of tension and blood and guts and a great big “ka bloom” of an ending so I felt like I had gotten my money’s worth (well, I bought this back in ‘14, so technically I was getting my money’s worth AGAIN, which is even better!).

As much as I like Resnick’s Santiago duology, I wonder if the Widowmaker series would make a better starting place. Just because the first three Widowmaker books were all published in three years and the fourth was done much later, just like the original Santiago was supposed to be a standalone until much later. As a standalone, I think Santiago is Resnick’s best. But as a series, Widowmaker is better.

Once again, I am really digging this new version of the cover. The one I read back in ‘14 definitely left a lot to be desired. While I like the bazooka Widowmaker from the first book better, I like the overall composition of the military looking Widowmaker with the text and background. It just has the “right feel” to me for conveying the lethalness of the Widowmaker. You know you’re getting a kickass story with a cover like this.

★★★★☆


Friday, April 21, 2023

Asterix and the Soothsayer (Asterix #19) ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Asterix and the Soothsayer
Series: Asterix #19
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K




From Asterix.fandom.com

One stormy day, the Gauls — with the exception of Getafix, who is at his annual druid meeting — are huddled in the chief's hut, fearing for their lives. But then, a man enters the hut in a burst of lightning - it is a soothsayer, who promptly proceeds to see the future for our superstitious Gauls. He predicts that "when the storm is over, the weather will improve." But not all are impressed; Asterix alone dares question the qualities of this soothsayer, who is in fact a fraud.

Although Asterix can see this, not everyone is convinced, most notably Impedimenta, the chief's wife. Partly out of superstition and partly out of personal ambition, she convinces the soothsayer (known also by the name "Prolix") to remain in official hiding near the village, where she and the other villagers may question him at will. The only two whom she will not permit into the forest are Asterix and Obelix. Obelix in particular has a grudge against the soothsayer, who has threatened to kill Dogmatix in order to examine his guts for predictions of the future.

When Obelix finally thwarts Impedimenta and enters the forest, he finds Prolix there and chases him up a tree. When he threatens to uproot it, Prolix puts him off by claiming to see a vision of a beautiful woman who loves warriors matching Obelix' description. Obelix returns to the village and almost instantly falls for Mrs. Geriatrix.

Prolix meanwhile is arrested by a strictly rule-abiding Roman Optio (a senior officer). The Optio brings Prolix before the Centurion, who decides to make use of the imposter's persuasive voice.

Back in the forest Impedimenta and Asterix have within moments of each other discovered the absence of the soothsayer, causing consternation among the villagers who were told by the soothsayer that the gods would put a curse on them if anything untowards happened to him. Being that Obelix has been beguiled by Prolix's ironically accurate description of Mrs. Geriatrix (not mentioned by name), Asterix finds himself standing alone. Prolix returns at that moment, claiming dramatically that soon the air in the village will become polluted by a divine curse. Terrified, most of the villagers leave their home, to wait on a nearby island for the curse to run its course, as if it were a quarantined virus. Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix stay behind.

The Romans soon arrive to investigate the village, while the Gauls hide in the local undergrowth. Unknown to either, Getafix has completed his conference (which seems to be a facsimile of a twentieth-century scientific conference) and returned. Hearing of the situation, he concocts a witty plan by which to drive out the Romans and teach the villagers a lesson. Using a number of unidentified ingredients in his cauldron, the Druid literally raises such a stink that even the powerful Obelix is affected. The fumes spread to the village, expelling the Romans, Prolix, and Cacofonix the Bard who had sneaked back to find his lyre.

Prolix is baffled: the seeming fulfillment of his prediction has set him to wondering if he is becoming a real soothsayer. On the other hand, the appearance of the foul air has cemented the Centurion's faith in his oracle. He sends word to Caesar that all of Gaul is now conquered ("All?" "All."). But, like Crismus Bonus of Asterix the Gaul, he begins to desire the Imperial Throne for himself. To pass the time, therefore, he has the soothsayer tell him exaggerated stories of the luxuries emperors enjoy.

Meanwhile, Getafix joins the other villagers on the island to explain the Truth. Here we see a reference to the priestly role of the Druid, when Vitalstatistix begs Getafix to "appease the anger of the Gods, which has fallen upon our poor village." To which Getafix replies "Nonsense!" and proceeds to demonstrate what is really going on.

Inspired by this, the villagers go home, while the Romans deal with their own problems. The Optio is himself confused, because even though the Centurion is convinced that Prolix is a genuine soothsayer, the Optio's own observations tell him otherwise. Though upright and law-enforcing, he is not intellectual and finds himself thoroughly perplexed by the simplest of contradictions. Even his inferior officers regard him as an "idiot".

In the village, trouble is still present. Impedimenta and her fellow women are not convinced that Prolix was a cheat, partly because he only foretold pleasant things for them, such as a business partnership between Vitalstatistix and Impedimenta's brother Homeopathix, each of whom considers the other an arrogant dope.

Asterix has an idea; they might give the soothsayer a surprise, to prove that his predictions are not genuine. The surprise is quite simple: the Gaulish men and women will attack the Roman camp together. The plan is successful: the Gauls arrive at the camp and Prolix admits that he had no idea that they were coming. This convinces Impedimenta who beats the Centurion and the soothsayer with a rolling pin, causing her husband Vitalstatistix to look on her with an almost patronizing pride.

Returning to the village, the Gauls meet an envoy of Caesar's who has come to check on the Centurion's claim that the village is conquered. They beat him and his escort up.

The envoy, Bulbus Crocus, goes to the camp and faces the Centurion: "AND LOOK WHAT YOUR CONQUERED GAULS DID TO US, BY JUPITER!" He reduces the centurion to a common soldier, and, when the ex-centurion reflexively tries to give the Optio an order, the Optio rebukes him for his tone to a superior officer and orders him to sweep out the camp alone.

Prolix, who has been taking a lot of yelling from the now-ex Centurion over being a fraud, leaves the camp swearing to give up soothsaying at the risk of having the sky fall on his head, whereupon Rain-God, Taranis, sends down a thunderstorm.

The Gaulish village, however, is soon at peace, enjoying themselves for the present and not worrying about the future - with the exception of Cacofonix, who still dreams about being a famous singer.


INSERT LINE


Considering how the foolish the villagers act on a regular basis, it was pretty obvious the route this story was going to go. And it went exactly how I figured. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but when a story is predictable down to even the pirates getting sunk by the gauls in rowboats, well, it takes a bit of the fun out of things.

Part of the problem is that these books were originally written for children. The story lines thus would be all new to them and the problems I have wouldn’t be an issue for them at all. I don’t fault Goscinny and Uderzo for their story telling, I’m just disappointed because I wanted a fully mature story line and I’m never going to truly get that with an Asterix book. Oh well.

But passing that over, this was fun to read. The back and forth between the Centurion and his next in command about whether Prollix was a genuine soothsayer or a fraud was enough to make your head spin, but it was on the nose in terms of humor.

★★★☆☆



Thursday, April 20, 2023

Conan the Triumphant (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Triumphant
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 203
Words: 70K




From Conan.fandom.com/

Conan guides his army of mercenaries into Ianthe, capital of Ophir, where they become entangled in the chaos ensuing from the death of King Valdric. The factions of Antimides, Valentius, and Lady Synelle (Countess of Asmark) all contest for the throne. Synelle is secretly a sorceress and the high priestess of a nearly-forgotten demon god known as Al’Kiir. Al’Kiir was imprisoned within the depths of a mountain, called Tor Al’Kiir, centuries before by a mage named Avanrakash. However, Synelle plans on releasing him by providing Al'Kiir a “bride” through human sacrifice and enlist his power in obtaining the throne.

Conan comes into Synelle's attention after he buys an idol of Al’Kiir, which she believes can be used in reviving her god. She plan on obtaining the idol, sending various agents to steal it and bewitching the Cimmerian into enlisting in her service. This attachment is complicated by Conan's interest in Julia, a young noblewoman reduced to trulldom[check spelling], and his old rival, a female bandit named Karela the Red Hawk, one of many thieves Synelle has hired to steal the idol.

Ultimately, Synelle's true colors are revealed. In the depths of Tor Al’Kirr, she and her priestess attempt to sacrifice Karela to raise the demon. Conan and his company battle her forces and the Cimmerian wins through—just too late. Al’Kiir is raised, but takes Synelle instead of his intended victim. When the demon turns its attention towards Karela, Conan seizes the Staff of Avanrakash and spears the creature. At its unearthly screams, Synelle's defenders flee. Both Al'kiir and the captive sorceress harden into stone as the mountain begins to rumble. Conan and his men flee, putting as much distance as they can between themselves and the mountain before it erupts in a pillar of flame resembling the staff.

In the aftermath, the victorious army of Valentius marches onto Ianthe. The remnants of the Free Company, sidelined, break up, each going their separate way. Conan urges Karela to go to Argos with him, but she refuses, preferring her free life instead being mastered by the Cimmerian. He proceeds south alone. Meanwhile, Synelle is rescued from the destroyed mountain and brought back to life by Thoth-Amon.


SEPARATOR


There was a LOT of full, heaving breasts and long legs and rounded hips in this story. I’d say Jordan delved into that a little more than was necessary, even for a Conan story. Especially when it applies to every single named female character. They may as well all have been clones of each other as far as descriptions go. I guess hair color was the main differentiation?

That bleeding red head, Karela, is involved again. I must admit, I don’t like her. And I don’t like that Jordan keeps tying her into every story. Conan is supposed to move on after every story. Plus, it is embarrassing to read about her being such a stupid witch. I get second hand embarrassment :-(

The part of the story dealing with the evil god trying to return didn’t land so well either. The sorceress successfully ensorcels Conan and it is only through the use of a magic staff, and not a steel sword, that Conan sends the devil god back to its imprisonment. This was as much about the politics of the city-state Conan was in as anything.

The swashbuckling action was decent, with bandits and soldiers and rogue bandit soldiers, fighting everybody. No lack of hackings, that’s for sure. Conan does his thief thing and fights the best swordsman of the city and kills him of course.

The “official” synopsis says that the sorceress is resurrected by Thoth-Amon, a big bad wizard in the original Conan stories. I did not see a trace of that in the version I read. I wonder if it is referenced in the next book and the no good jackasses who created the wiki were lazy and put it in this book’s wiki page?

Definitely not one of the better Conan stories but not one I’d consider a waste of time either.

★★★☆☆

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Fullmetal Alchemist #6 ★★★★☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Fullmetal Alchemist #6
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: Hiromu Arakawa
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 190
Words: 9K


From FMA.fandom.com

"The origin of the Elric Brothers! Once, Edward and Alphonse Elric were willing to do anything to become alchemists. But when they tried to use their newfound skills to resurrect their dead mother, they broke a taboo and encountered something more terrifying than death itself. Now, hardened by years of military training, Edward and Alphonse have returned to the woman who first taught them alchemy...but can she help them, or even forgive them?"

Chapter 22: The Masked Man

Chapter 23: Knocking on Heaven's Door

Chapter 24: Fullmetal Alchemist

Chapter 25: Master and Apprentice

Bonus Chapter: Roy Mustang's Observation Diary


INSERT SEPARATOR


When I went to FMA.fandom and saw that tiny little synopsis, I was wondering why such a popular manga didn’t have some weeb who had completely filled it up. Well, it turns out that some weeb did, only they did it for each chapter instead of the whole volume. And there was NO WAY I was going to copy/paste 10+ pages of synopsis. What’s there is good enough as far as I’m concerned.
♪And it’s good enough for me♪

This was an entire book of flashback about how Ed and Al tried to resurrect their mother, lost their bodies and ended up in the military. We also get a glimpse into the history of Roy Mustang, the man who found them and how he ended up in Central with the group currently surrounding him.

During the failed resurrection ceremony, Ed meets some entity and a weird door that appears to contain nigh unlimited knowledge. Both entity and door would seem to be malignant, at least to me as a reader but it didn’t appear that Ed took it that way at all. Of course, he’s only 11 or 12, so he’s probably taking the entity at face value.

For a flashback, this was interesting. It directly tied into the main story line and didn’t feel like the manga-ka was fluffing up the page count at all. It had relevance to the story I was interested in (ie, the MAIN story. Take note One Piece, this is how and why you do flashbacks).

★★★★☆


Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Tales to Take Your Breath Away ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Tales to Take Your Breath Away
Series: ----------
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 370
Words: 140K


Table of Contents:

THE ARROWMONT PRISON RIDDLE—Bill Pronzini

END OF THE LINE—Edward D. Hoch

THE DETTWEILER SOLUTION—Lawrence Block

THE WHITECHAPEL WANTONS—Vincent McConnor

CORA’S RAID—Isak Romun

A CUP OF HERBAL TEA—Robert S. Aldrich

ALBION, PERFIDIOUS ALBION—Everett Greenbaum

LIFE OR BREATH—Nelson DeMille

THE SILVER LINING—Mick Mahoney

A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR—William Brittain

SUPERSCAM—Francis M. Nevins, Jr.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS WOMAN?—John Lutz

JOE CUTTER’S GAME—Brian Garfield

A CABIN IN THE WOODS—John Coyne

CROOK OF THE MONTH—Robert Bloch

DEATH OF A PERUKE-MAKER—Clayton Matthews

THE FOREVER DUEL—James McKimmey

THE CHALLENGE—Carroll Mayers

EXTRA WORK—Robert W. Wells

THE FIRST MOON TOURIST—Duffy Carpenter

THE LONG ARM OF EL JEFE—Edward Wellen

DEATH SENTENCE—Stephen Wasylyk

KID CARDULA—Jack Ritchie

INVISIBLE CLUE—Jeffry Scott

ACCIDENTAL WIDOW—Nedra Tyre

ELEMENT OF SURPRISE—Bruce M. Fisher

LOOKING FOR MILLIKEN STREET—Joyce Harrington

JUDGMENT POSTPONED—Robert Edward Eckels

THE WINDOW—William Bankier


Separator


Unfortunately, while there were some intriguing stories in this collection, I’d already read about 1/3 of the stories in other Hitchcock anthologies. Also, one of the stories dealt with the rape of a 15 year old girl while another dealt with a woman being tricked and as a result losing her unborn baby. That is why I’ve given this the Disturbing tag.

After I realized there were multiple stories I’d already read, I just started skipping them as soon as I recognized that I’d already read them. I really don’t like doing that but I’m not going to waste my time re-reading a short story that I’m not intentionally re-reading.

The new stories, when they weren’t disturbing, were all good and what I’d expect from a book like this. I just hope I don’t run into this situation again.

As for that cover. Is Hitchcock a fatso or what?!? I always knew he was chubby but my goodness, he’s beyond portly. This is why you should never put a real person on the cover of a book. Because people like me come along and mercilessly mock them.

★★★☆☆


Sunday, April 16, 2023

Galahad at Blandings (Blandings Castle #10) ★★★★✬

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Galahad at Blandings
Series: Blandings Castle #10
Authors: PG Wodehouse
Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Humor
Pages: 162
Words: 61K



From Wikipedia:

Galahad Threepwood is in residence at Blandings Castle, and finds his brother Lord Emsworth, the ninth Earl, beset by the usual collection of woes. His sister, Lady Hermione Wedge, has not only hired a secretary (Sandy Callender) to mind his affairs, but has also invited Dame Daphne Winkworth to stay and, as Galahad discovers, to reignite an old flame and take up permanent residence as the next Countess.

Joining the house party are Tipton Plimsoll, a young multimillionaire who is engaged to Lady Hermione's daughter Veronica, and Lady Hermione's nephew Wilfred Allsop, a struggling young pianist who is in love with Emsworth's pig-girl Monica Simmons. Wilfred and Tipton had met in New York several days earlier for an evening of dinner, drinks, and imprisonment. (They also met policeman Officer Garroway, from The Small Bachelor.) Wilfred has been engaged by Dame Daphne to teach music at her girls' school, a prospect that Wilfred cannot refuse but is also anxious about, as Dame Daphne is intolerant of drinking among her staff.

Galahad's chief task at Blandings is to deal with sundered hearts, namely those of Sandy and her now-ex-betrothed Sam Bagshott. Gally has known Sandy for years, and was good friends with Sam's father "Boko" Bagshott, and is disturbed at their falling-out over a minor matter of a bet in the Drones Club marriage sweepstakes. Sam needs £700 to fix up his inherited family seat and sell it (to Oofy Prosser), and has drawn Tipton in the race for the next to be married. The other front-runners have dropped out, and Sam believes he has a sure winner, as Lady Hermione will not let Veronica lose her a multimillionaire son-in-law. Sandy, who knew Tipton from working for his uncle Chet Tipton in New York, believes that this engagement will go the way of all his others, and is upset at Sam for not selling his stake to a syndicate that has offered a firm £100.

If Sam would come down to Blandings, Gally believes, and plead his case with Sandy, all would be resolved. But when Sam does so, his first accidental encounter with Sandy proves disastrous: he chases her, she eludes him, and in giving up the chase he is confronted by the local constabulary. Constable Evans informs him, and he discovers that he cannot dispute, that in leaving the Emsworth Arms he made off with Sebastian Beach's gold pocket watch. (Beach had left it with the barmaid Marlene to admire, and she had been showing it to Sam when he spied Sandy). Already grumpy from Sandy's rebuff, Sam deals with the accusation by punching Constable Evans in the eye and fleeing on the constable's bicycle.

When Gally hears of this, he insists on bringing Sam into the Castle, and decides that he should enter under the name of Augustus Whipple, noted author of On The Care of the Pig, Emsworth's revered reference work for the care and feeding of his prize pig Empress of Blandings. On encountering Emsworth at the Empress' sty, Sam diagnoses her malady as not swine fever, but instead intoxication (from the contents of Wilfred's flask, intended to steel him for proposing to Monica Simmons but dropped when discovered by Dame Daphne's son Huxley.) In gratitude Emsworth invites Sam to stay at Blandings, while a boosted Wilfred wins his Monica.

Meanwhile, Lady Hermione has learned from Emsworth that Tipton had lost all his money in the stock market crash and is now impoverished. She rushes up to London to instruct Veronica to break the engagement in a letter to be delivered by the next post. When Colonel Wedge receives Tipton, who is driving a Rolls-Royce and brandishing an £8000 necklace for Vee, he asks Gally to intercept the letter, which Gally is pleased to do. Gally goes a step further and gives the letter to Sam. On Hermione's return, when Beach informs her that the man who stole his watch is at the Castle impersonating Augustus Whipple, Gally threatens to deliver the letter to Tipton unless Hermione allows Sam to stay. Hermione tries searching Sam's room, but only succeeds in losing Wilfed his job with Dame Daphne, when her son Huxley discovers him singing in the corridor as a signal to his aunt.

Sandy confronts Galahad, but ends up persuaded by him to take Sam back. They find him locked in the potting shed, where he has been imprisoned by Constable Evans. Sandy frees him from the shed and they are reconciled. But not all the couples remain happy: Emsworth discovers the fatal letter in his desk, where Gally had hidden it, and has it delivered to Tipton. Gally has hard work convincing Tipton that Veronica meant not a word of it, and Tipton phones Veronica and the rift is mended as quickly as made. Tipton takes Wilfred and Monica Simmons up to London to gather Vee and head to the registrar's for a double wedding.

Not everything is wrapped up, though. Emsworth is still in peril of matrimony from Dame Daphne, Sam still has to collect on his winning ticket, and the Law still looms over Sam's shoulder. Sandy hears that another Drones Club member has won the sweepstakes, and Sam's stake is worthless. Lady Hermione, having discovered that the letter was delivered and nullified, now announces her intention to expose Sam; Gally leads her to the library where he claims Sam is, and locks her in. He rushes to Emsworth, to touch him for the thousand pounds before Lady Hermione can summon aid.

He finds Emsworth rattled and deflated. In Monica Simmons' absence, young Huxley attempts to release the Empress from her sty. Having morning head after her bender, she responds by biting the lad's finger. Dame Winkworth deems her dangerous and demands that she be destroyed; Emsworth calls her a fool and telephones the veterinarian to find whether there was any risk of infection to the Empress. At that Dame Daphne leaves the household. Hermione, finding that Emsworth has driven away Dame Daphne, exposes Sam, declares Emsworth to be impossible to manage, and leaves as well.

The ninth Earl is reluctant now to lend money to an impostor, but Gally reminds him that he has now been freed of the threat of marriage to Dame Daphne, and of the supervision of their sister Hermione, and that if he lends the money to Sam all his troubles will be ended, as Sam will take his secretary out of his life. Emsworth gladly does so, and peace reigns over Blandings once again.


SEPARATOR


Circumstances conspired to make me enjoy this a lot. Of course, most of Wodehouse’s Blandings Castle stories are already funny, but I was reading this soon after Mrs B had had good medical news and so my spirits were much lighter than they had been in several months. I was as filled with good cheer and bonhomie towards my fellow man as I am capable of. Which amounts to me not scowling at everyone and not punching them in their plug ugly faces.

All of that is to explain why I gave this 4 ½ stars instead of 5 even though I laughed out loud 6 or 7 times. The next time I read this I might find it incredibly insipid and the characters downright stupid.

But this time was wonderful. The antics are as recycled as ever and every single one of them still works. Sisters are still overbearing twats. Youngsters are poor and in need of money to marry. The Empress of Blandings (that monstrous pig that has won fattest porker three years running) is used like a prop (she gets sloshed this time and bites an annoying young brat). While no Policeman’s hat was pinched, one police officer does get punched in the snozz and then has his bicycle stolen. I loved it all.

Not much else to say really.

★★★★✬