Conan the Triumphant (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★☆☆

 

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Title: Conan the Triumphant
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 203
Words: 70K

From Conan.fandom.com/

Conan guides his army of mercenaries into Ianthe, capital of Ophir, where they become entangled in the chaos ensuing from the death of King Valdric. The factions of Antimides, Valentius, and Lady Synelle (Countess of Asmark) all contest for the throne. Synelle is secretly a sorceress and the high priestess of a nearly-forgotten demon god known as Al’Kiir. Al’Kiir was imprisoned within the depths of a mountain, called Tor Al’Kiir, centuries before by a mage named Avanrakash. However, Synelle plans on releasing him by providing Al'Kiir a “bride” through human sacrifice and enlist his power in obtaining the throne.

Conan comes into Synelle's attention after he buys an idol of Al’Kiir, which she believes can be used in reviving her god. She plan on obtaining the idol, sending various agents to steal it and bewitching the Cimmerian into enlisting in her service. This attachment is complicated by Conan's interest in Julia, a young noblewoman reduced to trulldom[check spelling], and his old rival, a female bandit named Karela the Red Hawk, one of many thieves Synelle has hired to steal the idol.

Ultimately, Synelle's true colors are revealed. In the depths of Tor Al’Kirr, she and her priestess attempt to sacrifice Karela to raise the demon. Conan and his company battle her forces and the Cimmerian wins through—just too late. Al’Kiir is raised, but takes Synelle instead of his intended victim. When the demon turns its attention towards Karela, Conan seizes the Staff of Avanrakash and spears the creature. At its unearthly screams, Synelle's defenders flee. Both Al'kiir and the captive sorceress harden into stone as the mountain begins to rumble. Conan and his men flee, putting as much distance as they can between themselves and the mountain before it erupts in a pillar of flame resembling the staff.

In the aftermath, the victorious army of Valentius marches onto Ianthe. The remnants of the Free Company, sidelined, break up, each going their separate way. Conan urges Karela to go to Argos with him, but she refuses, preferring her free life instead being mastered by the Cimmerian. He proceeds south alone. Meanwhile, Synelle is rescued from the destroyed mountain and brought back to life by Thoth-Amon.

SEPARATOR

There was a LOT of full, heaving breasts and long legs and rounded hips in this story. I’d say Jordan delved into that a little more than was necessary, even for a Conan story. Especially when it applies to every single named female character. They may as well all have been clones of each other as far as descriptions go. I guess hair color was the main differentiation?

That bleeding red head, Karela, is involved again. I must admit, I don’t like her. And I don’t like that Jordan keeps tying her into every story. Conan is supposed to move on after every story. Plus, it is embarrassing to read about her being such a stupid witch. I get second hand embarrassment :-(

The part of the story dealing with the evil god trying to return didn’t land so well either. The sorceress successfully ensorcels Conan and it is only through the use of a magic staff, and not a steel sword, that Conan sends the devil god back to its imprisonment. This was as much about the politics of the city-state Conan was in as anything.

The swashbuckling action was decent, with bandits and soldiers and rogue bandit soldiers, fighting everybody. No lack of hackings, that’s for sure. Conan does his thief thing and fights the best swordsman of the city and kills him of course.

The “official” synopsis says that the sorceress is resurrected by Thoth-Amon, a big bad wizard in the original Conan stories. I did not see a trace of that in the version I read. I wonder if it is referenced in the next book and the no good jackasses who created the wiki were lazy and put it in this book’s wiki page?

Definitely not one of the better Conan stories but not one I’d consider a waste of time either.

★★★☆☆

• The “Essential Conan” Trilogy

• All of My “Conan” Reviews

Fullmetal Alchemist #6 ★★★★☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Fullmetal Alchemist #6
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: Hiromu Arakawa
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 190
Words: 9K

From FMA.fandom.com

"The origin of the Elric Brothers! Once, Edward and Alphonse Elric were willing to do anything to become alchemists. But when they tried to use their newfound skills to resurrect their dead mother, they broke a taboo and encountered something more terrifying than death itself. Now, hardened by years of military training, Edward and Alphonse have returned to the woman who first taught them alchemy...but can she help them, or even forgive them?"

Chapter 22: The Masked Man

Chapter 23: Knocking on Heaven's Door

Chapter 24: Fullmetal Alchemist

Chapter 25: Master and Apprentice

Bonus Chapter: Roy Mustang's Observation Diary

INSERT SEPARATOR

When I went to FMA.fandom and saw that tiny little synopsis, I was wondering why such a popular manga didn’t have some weeb who had completely filled it up. Well, it turns out that some weeb did, only they did it for each chapter instead of the whole volume. And there was NO WAY I was going to copy/paste 10+ pages of synopsis. What’s there is good enough as far as I’m concerned.
♪And it’s good enough for me♪

This was an entire book of flashback about how Ed and Al tried to resurrect their mother, lost their bodies and ended up in the military. We also get a glimpse into the history of Roy Mustang, the man who found them and how he ended up in Central with the group currently surrounding him.

During the failed resurrection ceremony, Ed meets some entity and a weird door that appears to contain nigh unlimited knowledge. Both entity and door would seem to be malignant, at least to me as a reader but it didn’t appear that Ed took it that way at all. Of course, he’s only 11 or 12, so he’s probably taking the entity at face value.

For a flashback, this was interesting. It directly tied into the main story line and didn’t feel like the manga-ka was fluffing up the page count at all. It had relevance to the story I was interested in (ie, the MAIN story. Take note One Piece, this is how and why you do flashbacks).

★★★★☆

• All My "Fullmetal Alchemist" Reviews

Tales to Take Your Breath Away ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Tales to Take Your Breath Away
Series: ----------
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 370
Words: 140K

Table of Contents:

THE ARROWMONT PRISON RIDDLE—Bill Pronzini

END OF THE LINE—Edward D. Hoch

THE DETTWEILER SOLUTION—Lawrence Block

THE WHITECHAPEL WANTONS—Vincent McConnor

CORA’S RAID—Isak Romun

A CUP OF HERBAL TEA—Robert S. Aldrich

ALBION, PERFIDIOUS ALBION—Everett Greenbaum

LIFE OR BREATH—Nelson DeMille

THE SILVER LINING—Mick Mahoney

A PRIVATE LITTLE WAR—William Brittain

SUPERSCAM—Francis M. Nevins, Jr.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS WOMAN?—John Lutz

JOE CUTTER’S GAME—Brian Garfield

A CABIN IN THE WOODS—John Coyne

CROOK OF THE MONTH—Robert Bloch

DEATH OF A PERUKE-MAKER—Clayton Matthews

THE FOREVER DUEL—James McKimmey

THE CHALLENGE—Carroll Mayers

EXTRA WORK—Robert W. Wells

THE FIRST MOON TOURIST—Duffy Carpenter

THE LONG ARM OF EL JEFE—Edward Wellen

DEATH SENTENCE—Stephen Wasylyk

KID CARDULA—Jack Ritchie

INVISIBLE CLUE—Jeffry Scott

ACCIDENTAL WIDOW—Nedra Tyre

ELEMENT OF SURPRISE—Bruce M. Fisher

LOOKING FOR MILLIKEN STREET—Joyce Harrington

JUDGMENT POSTPONED—Robert Edward Eckels

THE WINDOW—William Bankier

Separator

Unfortunately, while there were some intriguing stories in this collection, I’d already read about 1/3 of the stories in other Hitchcock anthologies. Also, one of the stories dealt with the rape of a 15 year old girl while another dealt with a woman being tricked and as a result losing her unborn baby. That is why I’ve given this the Disturbing tag.

After I realized there were multiple stories I’d already read, I just started skipping them as soon as I recognized that I’d already read them. I really don’t like doing that but I’m not going to waste my time re-reading a short story that I’m not intentionally re-reading.

The new stories, when they weren’t disturbing, were all good and what I’d expect from a book like this. I just hope I don’t run into this situation again.

As for that cover. Is Hitchcock a fatso or what?!? I always knew he was chubby but my goodness, he’s beyond portly. This is why you should never put a real person on the cover of a book. Because people like me come along and mercilessly mock them.

★★★☆☆

• All of My “Alfred Hitchcock” Reviews

Galahad at Blandings (Blandings Castle #10) ★★★★✬

 

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Title: Galahad at Blandings
Series: Blandings Castle #10
Authors: PG Wodehouse
Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Humor
Pages: 162
Words: 61K

From Wikipedia:

Galahad Threepwood is in residence at Blandings Castle, and finds his brother Lord Emsworth, the ninth Earl, beset by the usual collection of woes. His sister, Lady Hermione Wedge, has not only hired a secretary (Sandy Callender) to mind his affairs, but has also invited Dame Daphne Winkworth to stay and, as Galahad discovers, to reignite an old flame and take up permanent residence as the next Countess.

Joining the house party are Tipton Plimsoll, a young multimillionaire who is engaged to Lady Hermione's daughter Veronica, and Lady Hermione's nephew Wilfred Allsop, a struggling young pianist who is in love with Emsworth's pig-girl Monica Simmons. Wilfred and Tipton had met in New York several days earlier for an evening of dinner, drinks, and imprisonment. (They also met policeman Officer Garroway, from The Small Bachelor.) Wilfred has been engaged by Dame Daphne to teach music at her girls' school, a prospect that Wilfred cannot refuse but is also anxious about, as Dame Daphne is intolerant of drinking among her staff.

Galahad's chief task at Blandings is to deal with sundered hearts, namely those of Sandy and her now-ex-betrothed Sam Bagshott. Gally has known Sandy for years, and was good friends with Sam's father "Boko" Bagshott, and is disturbed at their falling-out over a minor matter of a bet in the Drones Club marriage sweepstakes. Sam needs £700 to fix up his inherited family seat and sell it (to Oofy Prosser), and has drawn Tipton in the race for the next to be married. The other front-runners have dropped out, and Sam believes he has a sure winner, as Lady Hermione will not let Veronica lose her a multimillionaire son-in-law. Sandy, who knew Tipton from working for his uncle Chet Tipton in New York, believes that this engagement will go the way of all his others, and is upset at Sam for not selling his stake to a syndicate that has offered a firm £100.

If Sam would come down to Blandings, Gally believes, and plead his case with Sandy, all would be resolved. But when Sam does so, his first accidental encounter with Sandy proves disastrous: he chases her, she eludes him, and in giving up the chase he is confronted by the local constabulary. Constable Evans informs him, and he discovers that he cannot dispute, that in leaving the Emsworth Arms he made off with Sebastian Beach's gold pocket watch. (Beach had left it with the barmaid Marlene to admire, and she had been showing it to Sam when he spied Sandy). Already grumpy from Sandy's rebuff, Sam deals with the accusation by punching Constable Evans in the eye and fleeing on the constable's bicycle.

When Gally hears of this, he insists on bringing Sam into the Castle, and decides that he should enter under the name of Augustus Whipple, noted author of On The Care of the Pig, Emsworth's revered reference work for the care and feeding of his prize pig Empress of Blandings. On encountering Emsworth at the Empress' sty, Sam diagnoses her malady as not swine fever, but instead intoxication (from the contents of Wilfred's flask, intended to steel him for proposing to Monica Simmons but dropped when discovered by Dame Daphne's son Huxley.) In gratitude Emsworth invites Sam to stay at Blandings, while a boosted Wilfred wins his Monica.

Meanwhile, Lady Hermione has learned from Emsworth that Tipton had lost all his money in the stock market crash and is now impoverished. She rushes up to London to instruct Veronica to break the engagement in a letter to be delivered by the next post. When Colonel Wedge receives Tipton, who is driving a Rolls-Royce and brandishing an £8000 necklace for Vee, he asks Gally to intercept the letter, which Gally is pleased to do. Gally goes a step further and gives the letter to Sam. On Hermione's return, when Beach informs her that the man who stole his watch is at the Castle impersonating Augustus Whipple, Gally threatens to deliver the letter to Tipton unless Hermione allows Sam to stay. Hermione tries searching Sam's room, but only succeeds in losing Wilfed his job with Dame Daphne, when her son Huxley discovers him singing in the corridor as a signal to his aunt.

Sandy confronts Galahad, but ends up persuaded by him to take Sam back. They find him locked in the potting shed, where he has been imprisoned by Constable Evans. Sandy frees him from the shed and they are reconciled. But not all the couples remain happy: Emsworth discovers the fatal letter in his desk, where Gally had hidden it, and has it delivered to Tipton. Gally has hard work convincing Tipton that Veronica meant not a word of it, and Tipton phones Veronica and the rift is mended as quickly as made. Tipton takes Wilfred and Monica Simmons up to London to gather Vee and head to the registrar's for a double wedding.

Not everything is wrapped up, though. Emsworth is still in peril of matrimony from Dame Daphne, Sam still has to collect on his winning ticket, and the Law still looms over Sam's shoulder. Sandy hears that another Drones Club member has won the sweepstakes, and Sam's stake is worthless. Lady Hermione, having discovered that the letter was delivered and nullified, now announces her intention to expose Sam; Gally leads her to the library where he claims Sam is, and locks her in. He rushes to Emsworth, to touch him for the thousand pounds before Lady Hermione can summon aid.

He finds Emsworth rattled and deflated. In Monica Simmons' absence, young Huxley attempts to release the Empress from her sty. Having morning head after her bender, she responds by biting the lad's finger. Dame Winkworth deems her dangerous and demands that she be destroyed; Emsworth calls her a fool and telephones the veterinarian to find whether there was any risk of infection to the Empress. At that Dame Daphne leaves the household. Hermione, finding that Emsworth has driven away Dame Daphne, exposes Sam, declares Emsworth to be impossible to manage, and leaves as well.

The ninth Earl is reluctant now to lend money to an impostor, but Gally reminds him that he has now been freed of the threat of marriage to Dame Daphne, and of the supervision of their sister Hermione, and that if he lends the money to Sam all his troubles will be ended, as Sam will take his secretary out of his life. Emsworth gladly does so, and peace reigns over Blandings once again.

SEPARATOR

Circumstances conspired to make me enjoy this a lot. Of course, most of Wodehouse’s Blandings Castle stories are already funny, but I was reading this soon after Mrs B had had good medical news and so my spirits were much lighter than they had been in several months. I was as filled with good cheer and bonhomie towards my fellow man as I am capable of. Which amounts to me not scowling at everyone and not punching them in their plug ugly faces.

All of that is to explain why I gave this 4 ½ stars instead of 5 even though I laughed out loud 6 or 7 times. The next time I read this I might find it incredibly insipid and the characters downright stupid.

But this time was wonderful. The antics are as recycled as ever and every single one of them still works. Sisters are still overbearing twats. Youngsters are poor and in need of money to marry. The Empress of Blandings (that monstrous pig that has won fattest porker three years running) is used like a prop (she gets sloshed this time and bites an annoying young brat). While no Policeman’s hat was pinched, one police officer does get punched in the snozz and then has his bicycle stolen. I loved it all.

Not much else to say really.

★★★★✬

• All of My "Wodehouse" Reviews

• All of My “Blandings Castle” Reviews

Groo and the Shipyard (Groo the Wanderer #16) ★★★✬☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Groo and the Shipyard
Series: Groo the Wanderer #16
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K

From Bookstooge.blog

Groo tries to find work as a guard at a flying ship yard. They need no guards as they have a whole pack of savage dogs. So Groo joins as a common laborer and pegs and caulks a ship. To the usual Groo standards.

He runs across Taranto and his crew who have been pillaging and plundering. They steal an airship only to find out it is the one Groo work on. So it falls apart and they all go crashing to the ground.

SEPARATOR

Ahhhh, appropriately silly and asinine. Just what every Groo comic should be.

What was interesting was the Checklist ad though. It has the latest GI Joe comic and it’s the introduction for Sgt Slaughter:

I remember Sgt Slaughter because he was also a World Wrestling Federation actor at the time and boy did Hasbro make a big deal about promoting his character to sell all the toys. His picture, real or as the animated version, was yelling at everyone to do everything, all at once. And he did it all first so he could yell at you for not doing it fast enough.

★★★✬☆

• All of My “Groo the Wanderer” Reviews

Cassilda’s Song (The King in Yellow Anthology #7) ★★★★☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Cassilda’s Song
Series: The King in Yellow Anthology #7
Editor: Joseph Pulver
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Cosmic Horror
Pages: 241
Words: 92K

Table of Contents:

Introduction by Joseph S. Pulver, Sr.

Black Stars on Canvas, a Reproduction in Acrylic by Damien Angelica Walters

She Will Be Raised a Queen by E. Catherine Tobler

Yella by Nicole Cushing

Yellow Bird by Lynda E. Rucker

Exposure by Helen Marshall

Just Beyond Her Dreaming by Mercedes M. Yardley

In the Quad of Project 327 by Chesya Burke

Stones, Maybe by Ursula Pflug

Les Fleurs du Mal by Allyson Bird

While The Black Stars Burn by Lucy A. Snyder

Old Tsah-Hov by Anya Martin

The Neurastheniac by Selena Chambers

Dancing the Mask by Ann K. Schwader

Family by Maura McHugh

Pro Patria! by Nadia Bulkin

Her Beginning is Her End is Her Beginning by E. Catherine Tobler and Damien Angelica Walters

Grave-Worms by Molly Tanzer

Strange is the Night by S.P. Miskowski

Separator

This was a collection centered around the character of Cassilda, the former queen of Carcosa that the Yellow King subjugate/co-opted/seduced depending on which story you decide to hold to. In some of these stories she is fighting against the King in Yellow, other times the story is about her influence in our world and in some instances it’s just a feminist story wrapped in the liturgical wrappings of the King in Yellow.

I actually started to read this back in January, but with everything that was going on medically at the time, stories that dealt with despair and madness and hopelessness were way more than I could handle at that time. But now that we appear to be on the other side, I could dive into this cesspool with nary a shudder or twinge of disgust.

Two stories stood out to me. Not that they were the most enjoyable ones, but I felt like they encapsulated the best and worst of the King in Yellow mythology.

In the Quad of Project 327 was about a group of school kids who find the play The King in Yellow and one girl reads it. Unlike everyone else who has ever read it, it doesn’t drive her crazy but gives her psychic powers and she in turn gives these powers to the other kids. They use the power to make their Quad (apartment building area) a better place and to make their white male teacher hate Columbus and be a “nicer” guy. This exemplified the worst in my opinion. The author wrapped up her white male hatred and used some of the literary terms used in the King in Yellow stories. But she either didn’t understand or chose to ignore that the play has to drive people mad, or it isn’t The King in Yellow. As such, this didn’t have that hopeless, the walls are closing in, claustrophobic feel that a genuine KiY story should have. There is no hope, there is no betterment, there is no strength in a King in Yellow story. And if you choose to go outside of those bounds, then your story isn’t a KiY story. It wasn’t necessarily a bad story, but it was missing that downward punch that was needed.

Old Tsah-Hov was a story about a dog that ends up being owned by a woman named Cassilda, in Jerusalem. She adopts him as a stray and gets married and has a kid and then a war breaks out and her husband breaks under the strain and tries to hit her. The dog intervenes, only the son tries to stop him and the dog ends up biting the son by accident instead of the father. So he’s taken away to be put down. Once he’s put down, he awakens in Carcosa, where a mob is waiting for him, with hands filled with stones. To kill him. Again. Now THAT is how you tell a KiY story. The dog is loyal to Cassilda, loves the little boy and is doing his best to protect and serve. And his reward? To be killed again by the King in Yellow. The pure perversity of the entire situation, the twistedness of it, is exactly how a KiY story should be written.

Black Stars on Canvas, a Reproduction in Acrylic, the lead story, is a great KiY primer. If you can read that story and like it, The King in Yellow is for you. If you read it and don’t like it, or aren’t interested, I sincerely doubt you’ll like much else in the King in Yellow mythology. I’ve never been tempted to write a book, or even a short story, but if I ever did, it would be something to do with the King in Yellow.

The main reason I didn’t give this a 4 ½ rating was because one of the stories was poetry. Poetry is an essential element in the play The King in Yellow, but I don’t like poetry and I don’t have to.

I’ve included a large version of the cover as it is hard to see in the little one I include with most reviews.

★★★★☆

• The King in Yellow & Other Stories (Book 1)

• In the Court of the Yellow King (Book 2)

• The King in Yellow Tales (Book 3)

• A Season in Carcosa (Book 4)

• New Tales of the Yellow Sign (Book 5)

• The Hasture Cycle (Book 6)

Tom (One Piece #37) ★★★☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Tom
Series: One Piece #37
Arc: Water Seven #6
Author: Eiichiro Oda
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 229
Words: 11K


From Wikipedia:

"Six Powers"

"Fighting Power"

"Ordinary Citizens"

"The Warehouse Under the Bridge"

"Klabautermann"

"Tom's Workers"

"The Legendary Shipwright"

"Sea Train"

"Spandam"

"Mr. Tom"

"Cutty Flam"

The Straw Hats arrive on the scene and find Robin with CP9. Although she claims to want nothing more to do with them, Luffy and company attack CP9 so that they can talk to her. They are quickly defeated, and CP9 departs to look for Franky. As the Aqua Laguna approaches, Franky has given Usopp and the Merry shelter. Soon enough CP9 arrives looking for Franky and his blueprints. Because his teacher, entrusted him with the blueprints years earlier, and forfeited his own life to insure Pluton never fell into the government's hands, Franky refuses to reveal their location.

INSERT SEPARATOR

The World Government wants the strongest ship and is willing do anything to get it. The showdown between CP9 and Luffy is so one sided that it’s not even funny. He gets tossed around like a broken rag doll. It was getting rather interesting when suddenly the last half of the volume is an extended flashback about 2 of the side characters who are linked to this power ship.

That was rather dull. It was the usual “wah, wah, we wanna be powerful and argue like kids” story about 2 boys growing up. I’m sure it gave world building fans an orgasm, but I want to read about Luffy and the Straw Hats and everyone else is incidental. I don’t need to know about side characters. The focus shouldn’t BE on side characters. As such, this little (big really, because it was close to 120 pages) flashback not only didn’t work for me, but it actively annoyed me. The flashback hadn’t finished up by the time this volume ended, so I already know I have to deal with it in the next volume. And I’m sure I’ll be finding out how Franky became a cyborg. Not that I care one bit.

I really did enjoy the parts with the Straw Hats. Usopp has an extended showing here where he talks to Franky about he knows the Merry Go (the ship) is doomed but that he can’t accept it and that’s why he keeps trying to repair her. I think Franky finally gets through to him but I obviously won’t know because of that flipping flashback! And Luffy and Zoro are totally beaten down but not dead, so how will that resolve? WE DON’T KNOW BECAUSE OF THAT FLIPPING FLASHBACK!!!

Yeah, not real happy with that half of the volume.

★★★☆☆

• All My "One Piece" Reviews

Fantastic Voyage (Fantastic Voyage #1) ★★✬☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Fantastic Voyage
Series: Fantastic Voyage #1
Authors: Isaac Asimov
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 195
Words: 69K

From Wikipedia:

The United States and the Soviet Union have both developed technology that can miniaturize matter by shrinking individual atoms, but only for one hour.

A scientist. Dr. Jan Benes, working behind the Iron Curtain, has figured out how to make the process work indefinitely. With the help of American intelligence agents, including agent Charles Grant, he escapes to the West and arrives in New York City, but an attempted assassination leaves him comatose with a blood clot in his brain that no surgery can remove from the outside.

To save his life, Grant, Navy pilot Captain Bill Owens, medical chief and circulatory specialist Dr. Michaels, surgeon Dr. Peter Duval, and his assistant Cora Peterson are placed aboard a Navy ichthyology submarine at the Combined Miniature Deterrent Forces facilities. The submarine, named Proteus, is then miniaturized to "about the size of a microbe", and injected into Benes' body. The team has 60 minutes to get to and remove the clot; after this, Proteus and its crew will begin reverting to their normal size, become vulnerable to Benes's immune system, and kill Benes.

The crew faces many obstacles during the mission. An undetected arteriovenous fistula forces them to detour through the heart, where cardiac arrest must be induced to, at best, reduce turbulence that would be strong enough to destroy Proteus. As the crew faces an unexplained loss of oxygen and must replenish their supply in the lungs, Grant finds the surgical laser needed to destroy the clot was damaged from the turbulence in the heart, as it was not fastened down as it had been before: this and his safety line snapping loose while the crew was refilling their air supply has Grant begin to suspect a saboteur is on the mission. The crew must cannibalize their wireless radio to repair the laser, cutting off all communication and guidance from the outside, although because the submarine is nuclear-powered, surgeons and technicians outside Benes's body are still able to track their movements via a radioactive tracer, allowing General Alan Carter and Colonel Donald Reid, the officers in charge of CMDF, to figure out the crew's strategies as they make their way through the body. The crew is then forced to pass through the inner ear, requiring all outside personnel to make no noise to prevent destructive shocks, but while the crew is removing reticular fibers clogging the submarine's vents and making the engines overheat, a fallen surgical tool causes the crew to be thrown about and Peterson is nearly killed by antibodies, but they are able to reboard the submarine in time. By the time they finally reach the clot, the crew has only six minutes remaining to operate and then exit the body.

Before the mission, Grant had been briefed that Duval was the prime suspect as a potential surgical assassin, but as the mission progresses, he instead begins to suspect Michaels. During the surgery, Dr. Michaels knocks out Owens and takes control of Proteus while the rest of the crew is outside for the operation. As Duval finishes removing the clot with the laser, Michaels tries to crash the submarine into the same area of Benes' brain to kill him. Grant fires the laser at the ship, causing it to veer away and crash, and Michaels to get trapped in the wreckage with the controls pinning him to the seat, which attracts the attention of white blood cells. While Grant saves Owens from the Proteus, Michaels is killed when a white blood cell consumes the ship. The remaining crew quickly swim to one of Benes' eyes and escape through a tear duct seconds before returning to normal size.

Separator

I went into this thinking it was an original story by Asimov that was later adapted to the 1966 Movie, Fantastic Voyage. Little did I know that the book was based on the screenplay and was just a novelization of the movie.

And it was all the stronger for it. Because Asimov can’t write a great novel to save his life. (considering that he’s dead, I’d say that’s a strong piece of evidence right there).

At the same time, this was boring as a vanilla fudgsicle made out of tap water. I can see this being a visually appealing movie, but as a book, it was just boring.

Asimov wasn’t happy with doing a novelization and decided to write his own book, which was later released as Fantastic Voyage II: Destination Brain. I will not be reading that however. This was boring enough and I can only imagine that a solo Asimov venture would only take a downward trajectory.

★★✬☆☆

• All of My Asimov Reviews

The Knight of the Swords (Eternal Champion: Corum #1) ★★★★★

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Knight of the Swords
Series: Eternal Champion: Corum #1
Author: Michael Moorcock
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 147
Words: 52K

From Wikipedia.org/The_Swords_Trilogy

The Knight of the Swords is the first appearance of Corum, last survivor of the Vadhagh race. After his family is butchered by a group of Mabden (men) led by the savage Earl Glandyth-a-Krae, Corum tries to take revenge, but is captured instead; his hand is cut off and his eye put out before he escapes. He goes to Moidel's Castle, where he is taken in by a very different sort of Mabden, the Margravine Rhalina. Corum and Rhalina fall in love, but their romance is interrupted when Glandyth leads an assault on the castle. Rhalina uses sorcery (which Corum had never believed in) to summon a ship of the dead which drives off the barbarians. However the bargain required means that she must go with the ship's captain. Corum joins them and the ship takes them to the island of Shool, a near immortal and mad sorcerer who takes Rhalina hostage.

Shool trades Corum two artifacts to replace his lost hand and eye, the Hand of Kwll and the Eye of Rhynn. The Eye allows Corum to see into an undead netherworld; the Hand serves to summon the last beings killed by Corum, to fight for him. Shool explains that Corum's ill fortune has been caused by a Greater God, Arioch, one of the Sword Rulers. When Arioch and his fellow Chaos Lords conquered the Fifteen Planes, the balance between the forces of Law and Chaos tipped in favor of Chaos. Corum is sent to steal the Heart of Arioch, which will give the sorcerer power to become a great god himself. After an adventurous journey which teaches him more about the metaphysics of Chaos, Corum reaches Arioch's palace. There he finds the Heart, at which point Shool's unknowing role as an agent of Arioch is revealed. The Hand of Kwll crushes the heart, killing Arioch. Corum returns to the island to rescue Rhalina. As it turns out, Shool's powers were entirely of Arioch's gift, so he can no longer threaten Rhalina or Corum. The couple return to their home on Moidel's Mount.

It has been 23 years since I last read the Corum books by Moorcock. I have always meant to re-read them much sooner, but it always seemed that something else was pushing to the front of the line. Once again, they were a staple of my highschool and college days. Back then I read all 6 books in 2 collected omnibuses entitled Corum: The Coming of Chaos and Corum: The Prince with the Silver Hand. This time around I wanted to make sure to read each individual story so there would be as little blurring in my mind as possible.

This was great. The Vadhagh, the race that Corum belongs to, is very unlike the Melniboneans (of which the Eternal Champion aspect of Elric is a member) and thus their destruction was sad and melancholic instead of fiercely just. It makes Corum a much nicer protagonist and makes his fears and desires that much more relatable.

Having read this before, and several of the other Eternal Champion aspect series, I was familiar with the whole Cosmic Balance that Moorcock hangs everything on. Corum isn’t so much a rogue agent trying to do his own thing but is an unwitting agent of Law because he hates what Chaos has done (killed off his entire race!). As such, his adventures feel very much like he is a ball being batted back and forth without trying to forge his own path. While it can make the read feel a bit unsettling, it is also rather a comforting feeling because you know that Corum is as much along for the ride as the reader is.

My only quibble is the romance side of things. Corum has gone on for hundreds of years (I can’t remember if it ever says how old he is, but his father was close to 1000 when he was killed at the book’s beginning) without being interested in romance with another Vadhagh but suddenly, he’s shacking it up and risking his life for a human woman? It wasn’t that it rang false so much as it just felt very quick. Of course, in a story that is under 150, that is kind of to be expected I guess. Which is why it is only a quibble and not a real issue :-D

But for a sword and sorcery, it gave me everything I wanted. Corum gets his eye plucked out and his hand cut off. And then gets mystical items to replace them. Which allows him to call forth those he has killed from a kind of hell to fight on his behalf. He’s not a great swordsman OR magician, which ties into the idea of him being batted around. But as a reader we get our fill.

I am already looking forward to Corum’s next adventure as he battles the Queen of the Swords.

★★★★★

• Corum: The Coming of Chaos Trilogy (2000 “Review”)

Things That Go Bump In The Night (Bone #19) ★★✬☆☆

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Things That Go Bump In The Night
Series: Bone #19
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 25
Words: 1K

From Bookstooge.blog

Phoney reveals that Fone Bone knows the dragon and everyone at the tavern starts telling tales and believing that the dragons are now an infestation and going to take over. Phoney uses this interest to upstage Lucius and to outsell him. The idiots at the tavern follow Phoney’s lead.

Ted the bug delivers a message to Gran’ma Ben that a huge rat army is on its way and that the kingdom that is supposed to keep them away isn’t doing anything about. She gathers up Fone and Thorn and they prepare to set out that night.

INSERT SEPARATOR

This was a big step up from the previous issue but almost anything had to be. It still wasn’t great or exciting and I don’t know how much more of Smith’s “change the direction of a single item and pretend it’s a new panel” I can take.

Then you have Phoney running his next scam, ie, riling up everyone about the dragons to sell more than Lucius. I realize that Smith is trying to make a point here, but my goodness, are the villagers dumb as rocks! They’ve known Lucius their whole lives and they’ve been cheated by Phoney on multiple occasions but who do they listen to? Phoney of course.

But I do wonder, why is Lucius so vociferous in denying that dragons even exist? He was stoking the flames of the villagers by denying what they said so hard. He was acting like a liberal democrat politician, ie, telling everyone else what they should believe, what they should be doing and only he, Lucius, could dispense such wisdom. There is obviously some reason Lucius is denying the existence of the dragons, but it would be nice as a reader to at least have a hint of that reason.

But by the end of this issue, I still felt that I’ll take Web of Spiderman ANY day over this.

★★✬☆☆

• All My "Bone" Reviews