Saturday, April 29, 2023

Enders Game (Enderverse #1) ★★★★☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot, & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Enders Game
Series: Enderverse #1
Authors: Orson Card
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 251
Words: 106K

From Wikipedia.com

Humanity has mastered interplanetary spaceflight and they encounter an insect-like alien race called the Formics, and war breaks out. The humans achieve a narrow victory, but fearing future threats of a Formic invasion, create the International Fleet (I.F.) and train gifted children to become commanders at their orbiting Battle School.

Andrew “Ender” Wiggin is born a “Third”: a rare exception to Earth’s two-child policy, allowed by the government due to the promise shown by his two older siblings. The eldest, Peter, is a highly intelligent sociopath who sadistically bullies Ender. His sister, Valentine, is more sympathetic towards him. The I.F. remove Ender’s monitoring device when he is six years old, seemingly ending his chances of Battle School. He is bullied by a fellow student, Stilson, but Ender turns violent and attacks him. Unknown to Ender, Stilson later dies from his wounds. I.F. Colonel Hyrum Graff visits Ender after hearing about the fight. Ender attests that by showing superiority now, he has prevented future struggle. Graff offers him a place in the Battle School.

Once at Battle School, Graff and the other leaders covertly work to keep Ender isolated from the other cadets. Ender finds solace in playing a simulated adventure game that involves killing a giant. The cadets participate in competitive war simulations in zero gravity, where Ender quickly masters the game with novel tactics. To further wear Ender down, he is promoted to command a new army composed of raw recruits, then pitted against multiple armies at once, but Ender’s success continues. Ender’s jealous ex-commander, Bonzo Madrid, draws him into a fight outside the simulation, and once again seeking to preemptively stop future conflicts Ender uses excessive force, and like Stilson before him Bonzo dies from his injuries.

Meanwhile on Earth, Peter Wiggin uses a global communication system to post political essays under the pseudonym “Locke”, hoping to establish himself as a respected orator and then as a powerful politician. Valentine, despite not trusting Peter, agrees to publish alongside him as “Demosthenes”. Their essays are soon taken seriously by the government. Though Graff is told their true identities, he recommends that it be kept a secret, because their writings are politically useful.

Ender, now ten years old, is promoted to Command School. After some preliminary battles in the simulator, he is introduced to Mazer Rackham, a hero from the Formic war who saw key patterns in the Formic behavior. Ender participates in space combat simulations created and controlled by Mazer. As the skirmishes become harder, he is joined by some of his friends from the Battle School as sub-commanders. Despite this, Ender becomes depressed by the battles, his isolation, and by the way Mazer treats him.

For his final test, under observation by I.F.’s commanders, Ender finds his fleet far outnumbered by Formic ships surrounding their homeworld. Hoping to earn himself expulsion from the school for his ruthlessness, he sacrifices his entire fleet to fire a Molecular Disruption Device at the planet. The Device destroys the planet and the surrounding Formic fleet. He is shocked to hear the I.F. commanders cheering in celebration. Mazer informs Ender that the “simulations” he has been fighting were real battles, directing human spacecraft against Formic fleets via an ansible, and that Ender has won the war. Despite Graff congratulating him, Ender becomes more depressed, realizing that he has committed genocide and become just like his brother.

Ender spends several weeks isolated before recovering. He learns that war has broken out on Earth. Ender and Valentine join a group of space colonists.

On their new planet, Ender becomes the colony’s governor. He discovers a structure that matches the simulation of the giant game from Battle School, and inside finds the dormant egg of a Formic queen. The queen telepathically communicates to Ender that before the first Formic war, they had assumed humans were a non-sentient race, for want of collective consciousness, but realized their mistake too late. Instead, she had reached out to Ender to draw him here and requests that he take the egg to a new planet for the Formics to colonize.

Ender takes the egg and, with information from the queen, writes The Hive Queen under the alias “Speaker for the Dead”. Peter, now the leader of Earth and age 77 with a failing heart, recognizes Ender as the author of The Hive Queen. He asks Ender to write a book about him, which Ender titles The Hegemon. The combined works create a new type of funeral, in which the Speaker for the Dead tells the whole and unapologetic story of the deceased, adopted by many on Earth and its colonies. Ender and Valentine leave the colony and travel to many other worlds, looking for a safe place to establish the unborn Hive Queen.


After reading, and immensely enjoying, the First Formic War trilogy, I realized that I had never read the original Enderverse saga. I had read Ender’s Game and Speaker for the Dead, but never delved beyond that. Mainly I suspect because I’d read enough of Card’s other works that put me off of him (mainly the Homecoming series and Alvin the Maker series). But because I’m a completionist at heart, I realized there was a gap in my Enderverse reading that should be fixed. Plus, The Second Formic War trilogy appears to be on hold as the second book was published in ‘19 and there’s no definite date for the final book yet.

I’ve read Ender’s Game multiple times over the years. I’ve never read the original short story and I suspect I never will. I’ll stick to the fully fleshed out novel.

This time around, it struck me that the main theme of the story seems to be that survival of a species justifies any and all action. Don’t get me wrong, if the bugs had attacked Earth for real, I’d totally be advocating for complete and utter xenocide. But I don’t have to worry about that, so it’s the “idea” that Card plays with here and it’s as an “idea” that I reacted to. I do not believe that survival of a species is the be all and end all. That obviously comes from my worldview as a Christian. On an individual level, Christians have been tortured and killed for Millennia in attempts to get them to deny Jesus Christ. When they don’t, bad things happen. They give up their life because what they believe is greater than the circumstance of death or having their fingernails pulled out and their joints broken (a common tactic experienced by many Chinese Christians in the 20th and 21st century). So if an individual can hold that something is greater than himself, cannot an entire species do the same?

That was the thought process swirling around in my head as I was reading this time around. In the end, Card allows Ender to atone (even though it wasn’t Ender’s will that had destroyed the bugs, hence the “game” part of the title) by giving him a Formic queen egg.

Now I want to go re-watch the movie!

★★★★☆

Friday, April 28, 2023

Web of Spiderman #6-9 ★★☆☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Web of Spiderman #6-9
Writer: Danny Fingeroth, Peter David, David Michelinie
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 95
Words: 8K

From Marvel.Fandom.com/wiki/Web_of_Spiderman

Synopsis for “Gold Rush!”

Story continued from Secret Wars II #2…

The Kingpin is woken up at 3:00 am with some troubling news. He places a call to a man Bainbridge. As he waits for the man to answer, he figures out the financial worth of the current crisis and realizes that it could make the great depression seem like prosperous times. When Bainbridge answers the phone, the Kingpin explains what must be done…

While elsewhere in Manhattan, Mary Jane Watson cannot sleep, her mind keeps coming back to the fact that she had recently revealed to Peter Parker that she’s known that he’s secretly Spider-Man for years[Continuity 1]. She struggles with the fact that she can’t be with someone that risks their lives on a daily basis, and although she is still friends with Peter she cannot shake the feelings she has for him. As she considers the strange twist of fate she finds herself in, she notices that there is a fire some blocks away and wonders what the cause of it could be.

At the site of the fire is the man of Mary Jane’s thoughts, Spider-Man who is at the scene of the office building that formerly housed the Heroes for Hire until the Beyonder recently turned the structure entirely into gold just moments ago. Realizing that there might be people trapped inside the building despite the late hour, Spider-Man enters the building and begins finding those who are trapped inside and finds that everything except for humans has been turned into gold.[Continuity 2] As Spidey searches for survivors, those few who are still up at this late hour find it almost impossible to believe that a building can be turned into gold. However, before anyone can capitalize on this, the Kingpin calls in to his contacts in Washington D.C. to assist in closing off the area to prevent people from making off or learning about this sudden cache of gold, as it could cause a financial crisis. Hard pressed for resources, the government makes a deal with the Kingpin even though they realize that they are making a deal with the proverbial devil.

Unaware of this deal, Spider-Man continues to rescue those trapped in the building as two police officers arrive. When the cops wonder how they will keep the public away from a giant pile of gold, they soon find themselves surrounded by a heavily armed guard of gangsters and street thugs. They are soon relieved by government agent Charles Anderson who explains to the two officers that these men as assisting in keeping the area secure until the military arrives. When Spider-Man returns to the outside he recognizes some of the armed men as enforcers for the Kingpin. He also witnesses as the owner of the building, Henry Trumpsley, is forced to accept a check buying his property and is escorted off the property.

When Anderson tells Spider-Man to leave, the Wall-Crawler refuses to tell him that he can rescue the people trapped inside easier. Despite being shot at, Spider-Man slips back inside, wondering what the Kingpin has to do with the recovery. Seeing that he is unable to stop Spider-Man, and hard pressed for resources, Anderson orders the men to hold their fire and let Spider-Man do his job.

As the work continues on, over in Queens Aunt May and her fiancée Nathan Lubensky mull over the financial problems they’re having keeping their elderly boarding house afloat.

By this time, the military has arrived and begun slowly removing the gold and shipping it out of the area and a massive barrier is being erected around the block to prevent people from seeing it. By the time the press arrives, there is speculation going around as to what the military is clearing out of the area. Inside the wreckage, Spider-Man continues to pull people out of the building. For the most part, everyone is alive, but he does come across one dead body within the wreckage. After bringing the body out, Spidey decides to take a break and take into consideration that scope of what the Beyonder has done. Everything, including simple trash, has been turned into gold, a discarded notebook that was considered trash hours earlier is now worth a small fortune. When Peter considers how much he and his Aunt May could benefit from something as small as a solid gold notebook, Peter wrestles with his desires and what he feels is the right thing to do and leaves the notebook behind. Spider-Man’s attention is drawn to another individual who is trapped in the building. However, upon closer inspection, the Wall-Crawler learns that the reason why the man is trapped is that he was attempting to carry out all his personal possessions that had been turned into gold and that the weight of it all had pinned him to the floor. The man is unwilling to give it all up until the roof begins to collapse over their head and he begs Spider-Man to save him.

With the last of the people out of the building, Spider-Man is about to web-sling away when he notices a black limo pull up to Anderson. Spider-Man is shocked to see that it is his old foe the Kingpin, and becomes angry when he witnesses a number of soldiers loading several gold typewriters into his limo. Furious that he must struggle through life while a known criminal like the Kingpin gets free gold from the government, Spider-Man finally has enough and decides to get what he believes he deserves. Jumping back into the ruins of the building, he recovers the gold notepad that he previously decided to leave behind. Exiting the building he confronts Anderson and tells him that he saw the transaction between him and the Kingpin and shows him that he intends to keep a reward for himself. After angrily chastising the government official, Spider-Man swings off leaving Anderson to consider what he has just done.

This story and Secret Wars II continues in Amazing Spider-Man #268…

Synopsis for “”Welcome… …to My Nightmare!””

Peter Parker is having a dream wherein he has arrived at the Daily Bugle completely naked to see if Joe Robertson is in. Betty Leeds sends him through, not noticing that he is not wearing clothes. Likewise, Peter doesn’t seem the least bit concerned that the Daily Bugle staff is comprised of heroes and villains. Betty warns Peter that Joe is in a bad mood, but he assures her that he can handle it. However, when he arrives outside Robertson’s office he is shocked to see the Hulk come smashing out. With this threat before him, Peter’s original Spider-Man costume begins to appear upon him. The other people in the Bugle begin to run, telling Spider-Man to run. With the Hulk looming over him, Spider-Man can’t find a way to fight back. Thinking a change of costume will confuse the Hulk, Spider-Man’s costume suddenly changes to his black and white costume and flees from the Daily Bugle building. Suddenly, the Daily Bugle building collapses. Examining the rubble, Spider-Man discovers the Hulk is still alive. As his costume continues to alternate between red-and-blue and black-and-white, he tries to battle the gamma-spawned monster. Despite his efforts, the wall-crawler is grabbed by the Hulk and tossed at the Brooklyn Bridge. However, instead of being splattered against the metal frame of the bridge, he rips through it like a piece of canvas. On the other side, the web-slinger finds himself falling into a void. He hears a voice calling out for help, but can’t find any way to save himself from falling.

Suddenly, Peter Parker wakes up and realizes that this was all a dream. Even though he is in his Spider-Man costume and has a coffee machine in his apartment, Peter doesn’t realize that he’s still dreaming. When he hears someone cry for help, he looks out his window and sees his Aunt May’s home down below. Fearing the worst, Peter puts on his mask and swings down to the house. There, Spider-Man watches in horror as the Burglar with an automatic weapon mowing down his Uncle Ben, Aunt May, Gwen and George Stacy, Mary Jane, and Betty Leeds.[Continuity 1] Horrified to see all his loved ones dead, Peter demands to know why the Burglar killed them. Fleeing the scene, the Burglar tells him that this is what Spider-Man wanted, that he needs guilt to keep going. Spider-Man denies this and in a fit of rage follows after the Burglar. Suddenly, Spider-Man finds himself replaying his confrontation with the Burglar at the Acme Warehouse.[Continuity 2] Spider-Man knocks the crook out, but this time when he gets a good look, he has the face of Peter Parker. This is a shock to Peter but this puts him in a state of despair that he believes that Spider-Man is actually responsible for the death of his loved ones.

Accepting defeat, Spider-Man doesn’t resist when the Hulk comes smashing through the wall to destroy him. However, when the Hulk smashes the floor, it breaks away and the pair both fall into some water below. Once again he hears a voice calling out for help and begins swimming toward the voice. This leads him into a sewer where he finds the creature that calls itself Nightmare. It begs Spider-Man for help as the Hulk has been chasing him and begs Spider-Man to save him before his realm is destroyed. Spider-Man finally clues in to the fact that he is dreaming. However, Nightmare warns him that if he dies here, he will die in real life. When the Hulk catches up to them, Spider-Man lures the brute out to the surface. Spider-Man is surprised that this dreamscape looks just like Manhattan. Surfing in the air on a manhole cover, Spider-Man loses the Hulk around the Statue of Liberty. He returns to Nightmare and demands to know why Nightmare’s realm looks like Manhattan. Nightmare explains that his realm takes on aspects that are familiar to those who are trapped in it and that only an adept can see it as it truly is. When Spider-Man mentions the name of Doctor Strange, Nightmare curses his foe, blaming him for everything that has happened. Spider-Man demands answers, and Nightmare tells the wall-crawler that Doctor Strange cursed his realm with Bruce Banner’s sleeping mind.[Continuity 3]

Nightmare goes on to say that this dream-form of the Hulk is just as powerful as the real thing and that he chose Spider-Man due to his sense of responsibility and his previous experience battling the Hulk. That’s when the Hulk comes crashing through again. Spider-Man blinds the behemoth with some webbing, allowing them to flee. Nightmare takes Spider-Man to the very edge of his realm where there is nothing but a white void that Nightmare states is a realm of utter madness. When the Hulk catches up to them once again, Spider-Man battles it the best he can, and ultimately uses his superior agility to knock the Hulk into the void, destroying it. Exhausted, Spider-Man is glad it is over so he can finally return to the waking realm. However, Nightmare has other ideas, telling the hero that he intends to keep him in the Nightmare Realm to defend him forever. Suddenly, the Hulk reaches out from the void and grabs Nightmare dragging him in. Nightmare begs Spider-Man for help, reminding Spider-Man of his sense of responsibility. Instead, Spider-Man turns away trying to ignore Nightmare’s sickening screams. Spider-Man does have a responsibility to himself, as well as others. As he leaves Nightmare’s realm, he tries to ignore the horror he has seen, reminding himself that if he saved Nightmare, he’d be trapped in his realm forever and unable to save anyone ever again.

Suddenly, Spider-Man wakes up and is suprirsed to see his landlord, high neighbors, and the police standing at the foot of his bed. As it turns out, his nightmare was so intense his screams woke everyone up and they called the cops. His landlady Maimie Muggins is upset that he made such a racket. His neighbors are a little more sympathetic, when Peter tells him he forgot what the nightmare was about. However, he thinks that sometimes it is better that way.

Synopsis for “Local Superhero!”

Years Ago:[Continuity 1]

In the vastness of space, a planet explodes, hurtling debris across the universe. One such chunk ends up crashing in a junkyard on planet Earth in the small town of Smithville, Pennsylvania. The following morning, Frank Hopkins reports for work at the Smithville Savings Bank. He arrives late for work much to the annoyance of his employer. After being snubbed by Marge, the bank typist, he meets with his co-worker Irving. Irving has two tickets to an orchestra performance that evening and Frank accepts an invitation to join. That evening, Frank waits outside for Irving, who is running late. Suddenly, he hears a scream in a back alley and sees a pair of thugs tar and feathering Irving. Around his neck is an antisemitic sign reading “Jew Boy”. When Hopkins tries to stop them, he is beaten up and left in the alley. The two thugs then throw Irving in the back of a pick-up truck and attempt to flee. Frank grabs ahold of the tailgate and holds on for dear life. However, despite his heroic efforts, the speeding vehicle shakes him loose, sending Frank Hopkins rolling into the junkyard. Trying to get up, Frank uses the chunk of space rock to steady himself. Suddenly he feels funny and gets up with no further pain. Walking home, Hopkins dismisses this as nothing but adrenaline.

Returning home, Frank goes through old newspaper clippings of heroes like Captain America and the Human Torch, who were active in World War II. He wishes that there were heroes like that around in this day and age to prevent such acts of violence.[Continuity 2] The next morning, the front page story in the papers is about the beating of Irving Stein, who is now recovering in hospital. Reading this at work, Frank Hopkins once more wishes there was something that could have been done for poor Irving. At lunchtime, Frank goes out into the bank parking lot to eat his lunch. When he accidentally drops his apple under a car, he is surprised when he somehow manages to lift the car off the ground in order to retrieve it. Not believing what just happened, Hopkins attempts to lift the car again. He is surprised that he is able to lift it over his head. Putting it back down he wonders what he should do with this newfound power. When he walks around the front of the bank, he witnesses the two thugs who beat up Irving as they trip a young African-American boy. Suddenly, Frank Hopkins has some inspiration.

That evening, Frank returns home and gathers an old pair of long johns, some dye, and some markers and gets to work. Putting on this outfit and a mask, Frank Hopkins goes out looking for the guys who beat up his friend. He finds them roughing up a man who just walked out of a liquor store. Frank easily trounces these youths before the eyes of astonished bystanders, who proclaim him a hero.

Now:

Peter Parker is meeting with Joe Robertson at the offices of the Daily Bugle. He is upset that Joe is once again refusing to buy photos of Spider-Man. Joe tells him that if he used every photo of Spider-Man they have in his files, they could publish them for a year-and-a-half. Sympathetic of Peter’s situation, Joe assigns him to a story that Joe is researching for the Sunday Suppliment. It is regarding the true identity of the Smithville Thunderbolt, a local hero in Pennsylvania. With no other choice, Peter grudgingly accepts the assignment and is soon on a bus to Smithville. The whole way, Peter complains to himself about how hard it is to make a living now that Joe Robertson is less interested in photos of Spider-Man.[Continuity 3] Soon, Peter arrives in Smithville and once off the bus a young man runs by warning everyone of a fire. Peter sees a nearby abandoned home billowing with smoke. With everyone off the bus, Peter slips inside to change into Spider-Man to save anyone who is trapped inside.

However, no sooner is Spider-Man on a rooftop opposite the other building, he witnesses the Smithville Thunderbolt running onto the scene. The wall-crawler decides to sit back and watch things from the back of the burning building. As Spider-Man climbs into the building, the Thunderbolt leaps out with two children out the front. The web-slinger looks around but can hardly see through the smoke. Suddenly, his spider-sense begins going off, warning him of danger. However, he is too late to stop a huge bruiser in overalls from striking him from behind. The strength of the blow causes Spider-Man to break through the floor to the main level of the house. Looking at who he attacked, the mysterious attacker realizes that this isn’t the Smithville Thunderbolt and leaves. Spider-Man recovers from the blow and witnesses the Thunderbolt leap away. Wanting to learn more, Spider-Man tags the local hero with a spider-tracer. With the danger over, Spider-Man decides to change back into his civilian guise before he is spotted. Later, Peter Parker begins tracing the signal from the spider-tracer. It lures him to a dumpster, and Peter fears that the Thunderbolt discarded his tracer. Suddenly, someone from behind compliments him on his camera. It’s a woman, and when he thanks her for the compliment and that he uses it for journalism, the woman gets upset. Turns out, the woman is Roxanne DeWinter a reporter for the Smithville Gazette, and she views Peter’s presence as competition for her attempts at learning the Thunderbolts identity. However, she quickly changes her tone when she learns that Peter works for the Daily Bugle and insists on buying him lunch.

Soon the pair are sitting down at a diner where Roxanne explains that she is looking for a big scoop so she can finally get out of Smithville. She figures that learning the Thunderbolt’s true identity is her ticket out of town. She suggests that the two of them work together, but Peter declines, saying that he works better alone. He thanks her for lunch and heads out. However, Roxanne DeWinter refuses to be blown off so easily. Moments later, Peter is back at the dumpster, but doesn’t find any trace of his spider-tracer. Suddenly, he picks up a faint signal and leaps over the dumpster to track it, unaware that DeWinter is following after him. The signal leads Peter to a modest looking home. He then slips around to the side of the house and changes back into Spider-Man and tries to find a way inside so he can recover his spider-tracer. Not far away, Roxanne DeWinter has lost sight of Peter since going back for her car, but deduces that he is in the only inhabited house in the area. Inside the house, Spider-Man introduces himself to Frank Hopkins, who is shocked to see Spider-Man in his home. Saying he has come to recover his property and follows the signal to a closet. Before Frank can stop it, the wall-crawler opens it and is shocked to discover the costume belonging to the Smithville Thunderbolt.

Unaware that Roxanne DeWitter is listening outside his door, Frank Hopkins confesses that he is the Smithville Thunderbolt. He begs Spider-Man not to tell anyone because he believes he will be humiliated and ridiculed. He explains that he got his power a number of decades ago, but they are now starting to fade. He reveals that he has been using ordering scientific equipment to build devices that could roughly mimic is fading powers. Frank then reveals that with crime at an all time low in Smithville, he would manufacture dangers so he could still play hero. He reveals that he staged the “fire” in the house with smoke bombs and hide in the dumpster after his “daring” rescue. He once more begs Spider-Man not to reveal his secrets, fearing he will be laughed out of town. That’s when Spider-Man hears a creaking floorboard from behind a door and ues his webbing to open the door. Before they can react, Roxanne snaps a photo of Frank in costume with his mask off. As Spider-Man tries to recover the camera from Roxanne, his spider-sense begins to go off. Suddenly, the strong man that attacked Spider-Man earlier comes bursting through the wall. He intends to kill Frank, insisting that he is the true Smithville Thunderbolt.

Synopsis for “The Twilight Heroes”

Years Ago:[Continuity 1]

A planet explodes, sending debris across the universe. One piece came to the planet Earth, breaking in two as it entered the atmosphere. One half ended up in a junkyard in Smithville, Pennsylvania. The other half ends up crashing in a nearby farmers field.

One Year Ago:[Continuity 2]

Ludlow Grimes is toiling away, plowing his field by horse. Suddenly, his plow blade strikes a rock. Ludlow digs it out and suddenly feels strange, but dismisses it as getting too much sun. When his wife calls him back to the farmhouse for dinner, he simply tosses the rock away and heads in. Down at the homestead, Ludlow is greeted by his wife and children as they set the kitchen table. When Ludlow’s wife tries to swat a fly, Grimes offers to do it for her. With a single swat, Ludlow not only kills the fly but smashes through the front door with his bare hands. Ludlow is confused by what happened, but his family is frightened. His wife now thinks her husband is a monster and tells him to get out.

Now:

Ludlow Grimes has smashed his way into the home of Fred Hopkins, who has just been outted as the Smithville Thunderbolt by Spider-Man and reporter Roxanne DeWinter. Ludlow pronounces himself the true Smithville Thunderbolt and intends to kill Hopkins. Spider-Man gets between the two men and tells Frank to flee. However, Hopkins can’t bring himself to go, wishing there was something he could do, but doesn’t feel confident as his powers are fading. Meanwhile, Roxanne DeWinter snaps photos of the battle, intent on getting the scoop on this story in order to advance her career and get out of Smithville. Eventually, the Smithville Thunderbolt loses his nerve and flees. Spider-Man continues to struggle with Ludlow, and tells Roxanne to get out as well. However, she refuses to leave until she is finished her roll of film. Spider-Man, manages to briefly stun Grimes and tells Roxanne to get a move on. She agrees and tells Spider-Man that she will call the cops after to drops her film off to be developed. The pair begins to fight again, but Ludlow gets frightened off by the sound of a police siren and flees the scene. With an officer banging on the door, Spider-Man takes his leave as well, wondering what he should do next.

Changing back to Peter Parker, the hero goes to the Smithville Gazette to try and stop Roxanne from developing the film. However, he arrives too late, as she has finished processing the photos. He tells her that he knows what happened and who Frank Hopkins is and pleads with her to destroy the pictures. He tries to convince her that this revelation will ruin Frank’s life and he doesn’t deserve it after all he has done for the community. Roxanne refuses to listen because she is still chasing fame and heads off to the printers with her photos. Meanwhile, Frank Hopkins has changed back into his civilian clothes and returns to his home. Talking to the police, he pretends to have no idea what happened at his home. After assuring the police that he isn’t in any danger, he goes back into his home. There he pulls out his binder full of newspaper clippings of his exploits as the Thunderbolt. He laments on how he is a nobody without his powers, which are now fading. Knowing that Roxanne DeWinter will ruin his life with her exposé, he takes a gun out of his deskdrawer and briefly considers murdering her. However, he can’t bring himself to take a human life and decides to find some other way.

Elsewhere, Ludlow travels through a nearby swamp, confident that nobody will find him here. Looking at his reflection in the water, Grimes begins to think back to the events of the past year. He remembers how his wife thought he was a monster since he got his powers and kicking him out of his own home. He went to the local church for guidance, but the priest insisted that his powers were the product of the devil and shunned him. Soon, a lynch mob was out searching for him forcing him to flee into the wilderness. For a whole year, Ludlow lived off the land. One day he happened upon a newspaper article about the Smithville Thunderbolt and became jealous how he was respected and treated as a hero with his powers. Grimes then came up with his plan to kill the Thunderbolt and take his place so that he could be considered a hero. This all brought him to Hopkin’s home and his clash with Spider-Man. Later, as rain begins to fall over the town, Roxanne DeWinter drives the Smithville Gazette news van to the printers. Still intending to try and convince Roxanne to drop the story, Peter has changed back into Spider-Man and is hitching a ride on the roof of the van.

As they drive down a country road, they are spotted by a downed tree to block the road. When Roxanne is forced to stop, her car won’t move and rocks begin to tumble down toward the road. As Spider-Man leaps into action, Roxanne tries to flee, only to be carried to safety by the Smithville Thunderbolt. Unfortunately, Spider-Man discovers that the rockslide was fake, another one of the Thunderbolt’s fake rescues. Before the heroes can remove the tree, they are ambushed by Ludlow Grimes. As Roxanne slips into her van and tries to get away. However, when Spider-Man tosses Ludlow, it strikes the van knocking it over the side of the road and down a cliff. Seeing that the van is caught in some tree branches, the Thunderbolt overcomes his fears to climb down and try and save Roxanne. While Grimes and Spider-Man battle it out, Frank manages to save Roxanne, who is grateful that he had done so, even without his powers. By this point, Ludlow has knocked Spider-Man out and is annoyed to hear that Hopkins has no powers. Ludlow is about to lambaste Frank but sees how frightened he looks and realizes that they are the same. By the time Spider-Man recovers from Grimes’ beating, the situation has defused itself.

The next day, the life of Ludlow Grimes takes a fortuitous turn, as he is enlisted by S.H.I.E.L.D. Finally finding a place to belong, Ludlow is finally happy. After witnessing this, Peter Parker is about to head out, when he sees that Roxanne still published the story about the Thunderbolt’s true identity. Furious, Peter goes down to the Gazette office and confronts DeWinter over this revelation. She still doesn’t care as she is confident that this will boost her career. Suddenly, they hear a mob heading toward Hopkin’s home, thinking it is a lynch mob, Peter rushes to see what he can do to stop them. However, much to his surprise, the townspeople have come to celebrate their local hero. Roxanne is about to gloat about how her story caused no harm she is suddenly silenced by the sound of a gunshot. Peter forces the front door open and discovers that Frank Hopkins committed suicide. Sadened by this turn of events, Peter Parker walks away without saying another word. Roxanne DeWinter, however, pulls a camera out of her handbag and takes a picture of Smithville’s fallen hero.


Ahhh yes, I had really forgotten just how political and left leaning most comic book artists were and are. The Government defines what is right and wrong, as they are the Highest Authority. Gawwwwww, that really chaps my britches. There is a scene in Issue #6 where Spiderman is going to rescue a man who is weighed down with gold items (that were his own before getting transformed to gold) and Spiderman lectures him on how it is now ALL the Governments because they said so and so he can’t take it with him because that would be illegal. It was so mind boggling wrong that I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the issue. It was also a cross over issue within the larger Secret Wars II series. They did a good job of bringing me the reader up to speed in one page, but the FOMO (fear of missing out) being produced for the rest of the comics books dealing with Secret Wars II was almost palpable. 2 stars for hypocrisy by artists who were at the forefront of the dammed commie led hippie revolution.

Issue #7 was a dream/nightmare sequence where Nightmare drags Spiderman into the Nightmare realm to save him from a manifestation of the Hulk that Dr Strange sic’d on him. It was obviously filler and made almost zero sense but I just rolled with it. The funny thing was at the end of the issue the land lady had called the cops because Peter had been screaming in his sleep and she’s in his apartment along with 2 cops and 3 chicks in their nightwear and Peter’s lounging in bed with only briefs on and everybody’s totally cool with it all. Only in comicbook land. 3 stars for blondes in nightgowns though.

Issue #8 begins a multi-part story about some bank teller who touches a space blob and gets super strength. For a while. Then as it fades he begins faking things to keep up the appearance so people will still say nice things about him. Peter is sent on assignment to cover it and another local writer is involved. Peter finds the fake guy and right at the end of the issue some super brawny guy busts through the wall of the house claiming to be the real Smithville Thunderbolt. It was sad and pathetic. 2 stars for an old man who want the adulation of the unwashed masses.

Issue #9 is where I mentally checked out. The same goop infested some other guy who was a farmer. His ignorant wife rejected him when he accidentally tore a whole in the wall. A priest calls him an agent of Satan. The villagers chase him down with torches and pitchforks. I kid you not. Then “comic book logic” and next thing you know he’s working for S.H.I.E.L.D. and the original Thunderbolt commits suicide because his identify was revealed in the local paper. 2 stars for big city bias and poor story quality.

This was some very poor story telling. It felt like everything was an idea the writers jotted down on a napkin at the tail end of a very short lunch. I realize that top quality story telling is almost impossible for a monthly comic book but my goodness, this stuff was bad. One thing is that Louise Simonson wasn’t involved and I think she was the guiding hand on the first few issues. I am super glad I am not reading these individually. I couldn’t handle just one a month. As it is, I’m going to be discussing with Dave the future of this buddy-read. These 4 issues really make me question if I actually want to read more, sigh.

Here is Dave’s review of Web of Spiderman #6-9.

★★☆☆☆

Thursday, April 27, 2023

The Survivor (Mitch Rapp #14) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Surivor
Series: Mitch Rapp #14
Author: Vince Flynn & Kyle Mills
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Thriller
Pages: 336
Words: 104K



From the Publisher and Bookstooge.blog

When Joe “Rick” Rickman, former golden boy of the CIA, steals a massive amount of the Agency’s most classified documents in an elaborate betrayal of his country, CIA director Irene Kennedy has no choice but to send her most dangerous weapon after him: elite covert operative Mitch Rapp.

Rapp quickly dispatches with the traitor, but Rickman proves to be a deadly threat to America even from beyond the grave. In fact, mysterious tip-offs are appearing all over the world, linking to the potentially devastating data that Rickman managed to store somewhere only he knew.

It’s a deadly race to the finish as both the Pakistanis and the Americans search desperately for Rickman’s accomplices, and for the confidential documents they are slowly leaking to the world. To save his country from being held hostage to a country set on becoming the world’s newest nuclear superpower, Mitch Rapp must outrun, outthink, and outgun his deadliest enemies yet.

In the cold of Russia, Rapp finds the hacker who has been releasing the info. He kills the Pakistani’s who are trying to recover it and recovers it himself. Director Kennedy then sends him on a mission to destroy the head of Pakistani Intelligence Agency, as he was the one trying to make use of the data. Rapp kills him with a poison meant for another, thus making it look like a complete accident.


This was the first book after Vince Flynn, the original author had died from cancer. His name is prominently on the cover while Kyle Mills is in tiny little print. With this being the first book, I have no idea how much was already done by Flynn or if Mills had to do the bulk of the work. Considering this book was a direct sequel to The Last Man, I’m leaning toward Flynn having done most of the work before his death and Mills stepping in to maybe write the ending and polish it up.

Overall, I’m satisfied with how Mills did. There were a couple of times where Rapp acted a bit more crazy than usual and not as rational and it made me go “oh, there’s Mills’ interpretation of Rapp”. Hoping I won’t have more of those moments with future books.

And that brings me to another issue. The passage of time. It’s not super apparent with each book, but over a decade has passed since the first book. Irene Kennedy’s son is now a 17 year old boy. Mitch is in his mid 40’s. It’s about time for him to retire from active field operations and either take over the training of new recruits or to get a desk job looking at data and planning ops. There are currently 22 books in this series, so I know that Mills keeps up writing. Which means that Rapp doesn’t just retire and we the readers get “the end”. My guess is that several of the books will be prequels, much like what Flynn did with American Assassin, which showcased Rapp’s origin. I guess I’ll be finding out over the coming months! 🙂

★★★✬☆

Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Rocketman!! (One Piece #38) ★★★★☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Rocketman!!
Series: One Piece #38
Arc: Water Seven #7
Author: Eiichiro Oda
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 207
Words: 10K

From Wikipedia:

“Reactivation”

“Bingo”

“Departing Soon”

“P.S.”

“Ebb Tide”

“Aqua Laguna”

“Kokoro”

“Rocketman!!”

“Sortie!”

“Sniper King”

After the Straw Hats recover from their injuries they discover that Robin has sided with the government in order to save the rest of the crew from destruction. CP9 captures Franky and Usopp and takes them and Robin to Enies Lobby, the government’s judiciary island, using a sea train. Sanji sneaks on board in an effort to save them, freeing Usopp and Franky before continuing on to Robin. The rest of the Straw Hats, the loyal members of Galleyla, and Franky’s friends, follow on a sea train of their own, unimpeded by the Aqua Laguna.


Man, this was a great entry. The flashback finished up pretty good and we got right back in the action of Luffy and the Strawhats.

Turns out Robin was doing everything she did, not only to satisfy her curiosity about True History, but also to protect the Strawhats from a big confrontation with the World Navy, one which they could not have survived. While it gave me that “rabbit out of a hat” vibe, it did fit in with everything that has gone on before. Plus, it makes Robin much more sympathetic.

We find out that the CP9 is run by a character that had a run-in with Franky and Mr Iceburg years ago and that he has a personal grudge in this whole matter. And the members of the CP9 sink the Merry-Go and take Robin, Usopp and Frankie prisoner for sentencing at a scary World Navy place. So everybody else mounts a rescue mission.

Considering how the CP9 put the total beatdown on the Strawhats previously, it is going to be interesting to see what strategies they come up with to counter the difference in power. Or if they will just power up (make the Mario noise when he gets the star power). We do get a taste of that right at the end. And I think it deserves it’s own paragraph.

Sanji, the karate cook, has jumped on the train carrying the prisoners. He rescues Usopp and Franky and they end up on the top of the train. Sanji tells them what Robin has done and his plans to rescue her. Usopp, who had quit the crew and fought a very one sided dual with Luffy earlier, declines to participate as he’s no longer part of the Strawhats. So he starts to go away. Immediately, a World Government soldier finds Sanji and Franky on the top of the train and is about to shoot them when the soldier is knocked off the train by a “metal star” and a masked hero calling himself Sniper King tells Sanji and Franky that he’ll help them. Of course, it’s Usopp with a mask and cape on, and it’s silly and ridiculous and yet I totally understood it. Usopp is remaking his identity as a pirate and is starting to create The Man, The Myth, The Legend. Now, how long this will go on is questionable and will Usopp truly change or just become plain old Usopp again once he reconciles with the Strawhats, I don’t know. But I really like that the manga-ka is willing to go down this route. Usopp was never my favorite character from the get-go, but so far, he is the character that the manga-ka has used the most in a wide variety of ways. He is the Everyman of the crew, with no powered up abilities and as such his portrayal, in all of the various ways, seems the most genuine. I kind of hope that Sniper King sticks around but I’m not expecting it.

Finally, there are sometimes individual pictures, whether as part of the story or as just little one offs included, that encapsulate the spirit of One Piece. The following is one such picture. It is from the inside cover and it shows the whole gamut of emotions that make up the Strawhats. This is One Piece in a snapshot.

★★★★☆

Tuesday, April 25, 2023

Widowmaker Reborn (Widowmaker #2) ★★★★☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Widowmaker Reborn
Series: Widowmaker #2
Author: Mike Resnick
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 198
Words: 64K

From the Publisher and Bookstooge.blog

Jefferson Nighthawk, once the galaxy’s most feared killer, is cloned again and given a new mission. This time he is not only armed with the Widowmaker’s killing skills, but also with his lifetime of knowledge. Nighthawk’s new mission involves the rescue of a corrupt politician’s daughter, and the assassination of the rebel leader who holds her captive. But the daughter puts a wrinkle in the plan when she offers her father’s fortune if Nighthawk kills her father instead. While the odds are overwhelming, the price may be right.

So Jefferson, the name the clone has decided to go by, finds out that the daughter and the rebel leader are one and the same. He shacks up with the girl, wipes out the corrupt politician and survives. Thus he has to deal with the fact that in a couple of years he too will come down with esplasia.


Good stuff! Just as good as last time. I LIKED this version of the Widowmaker. He’s everything I want in a main character. He’s mature. He’s experienced. He’s knowledgeable. He is in control of himself and the situation he finds himself in. I love the fact that he thinks the people who cloned him are scum of the earth and that they will doublecross him as soon as they can. But that doesn’t deter him from doing what he sees as his duty to the original Widowmaker and to himself. He’s a survivor.

I had completely forgotten that the daughter and the rebel leader were the same person, so that little twist was nice to experience all over again. The battle at the end where the Widowmaker and his little crew take down the politician was nice too. Just the right amount of tension and blood and guts and a great big “ka bloom” of an ending so I felt like I had gotten my money’s worth (well, I bought this back in ‘14, so technically I was getting my money’s worth AGAIN, which is even better!).

As much as I like Resnick’s Santiago duology, I wonder if the Widowmaker series would make a better starting place. Just because the first three Widowmaker books were all published in three years and the fourth was done much later, just like the original Santiago was supposed to be a standalone until much later. As a standalone, I think Santiago is Resnick’s best. But as a series, Widowmaker is better.

Once again, I am really digging this new version of the cover. The one I read back in ‘14 definitely left a lot to be desired. While I like the bazooka Widowmaker from the first book better, I like the overall composition of the military looking Widowmaker with the text and background. It just has the “right feel” to me for conveying the lethalness of the Widowmaker. You know you’re getting a kickass story with a cover like this.

★★★★☆

Sunday, April 23, 2023

Shrek 2 (2004 Movie)

This was a direct sequel to Shrek and was released in 2004. All the excruciating details are under the details code at the end.

I enjoyed this movie a lot. While it is a bit shallower in terms of storyline, it is vastly more amusing (in my opinion) as the parody of other movies really ramps up.

My favorite scene is when a group of the fairytale creatures are rescuing Shrek, Donkey and Puss-n-Boots and Pinocchio goes wire diving to the Mission Impossible music just like Tom Cruise did in the original MI movie. Of course, this being a Shrek movie, he gets all tangled up and tied at the end. So he has to lie so Gingie the gingerbread man can run along his nose to unlock Shrek. The whole scene just keeps me in stitches even after having watched it uncounted times. Ahhh, good times.

The whole thrust of the movie about accepting your family and yourself was laid on with a thick stick, but really, I didn’t mind it as I didn’t feel like it was thrust down my throat at every turn, unlike some movies today.

The introduction of Prince Charming as the vain and self-centered jerk was perfect. He was good enough that he’ll be in the next film as the main villain in fact.

Newlyweds Shrek and Princess Fiona return from their honeymoon to find they have been invited by Fiona’s parents to a royal ball to celebrate their marriage. Shrek initially refuses to attend, but Fiona convinces him, and along with Donkey, they travel to the kingdom of Far Far Away. They meet Fiona’s parents, King Harold and Queen Lillian, who are shocked to see the ogres, with Harold particularly repulsed. At dinner, Shrek and Harold get into a heated argument, and Fiona, disgusted at their behavior, locks herself away in her room. Shrek worries that he is losing Fiona, particularly after finding her childhood diary and reading that she was once infatuated with Prince Charming.

Harold is secretly reprimanded by the Fairy Godmother, as her son, Prince Charming, was to marry Fiona in exchange for Harold’s own happy ending. She orders him to get rid of Shrek, so Harold arranges for Puss in Boots to assassinate him under the guise of a hunting trip. Unable to defeat Shrek, Puss reveals that he was paid by Harold and offers to be an ally. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss sneak into the Fairy Godmother’s factory and steal a “Happily Ever After” potion that Shrek thinks will make him good enough for Fiona. Shrek and Donkey both drink the potion but nothing happens. Shrek laments before he and Donkey both suddenly fall asleep. Meanwhile, in Far Far Away, Fiona prepares to find Shrek so they can return home, but she too falls asleep.

The following morning, the potion transforms Shrek and Fiona into humans, and Donkey into a white stallion. In order to make the change permanent, Shrek must kiss Fiona by midnight. Shrek, Donkey, and Puss return to the castle. However, the Fairy Godmother, having discovered the theft, has sent Charming to pose as Shrek and win Fiona’s love. At the Fairy Godmother’s urging, Shrek leaves the castle, believing that the best way to make Fiona happy is to let her go.

Fiona does not reciprocate Charming’s advances, so to ensure she falls in love with Charming, the Fairy Godmother gives Harold a love potion to put into Fiona’s tea. This exchange is overheard by Shrek, Donkey, and Puss, who are arrested by the royal knights after Donkey inadvertently exposes them. While the royal ball begins, friendly fairy-tale creatures rescue the trio from jail, and they storm the castle with the help of a monstrous living gingerbread man created by the Muffin Man.

Shrek fails to prevent Charming from kissing Fiona, but instead of falling in love, Fiona knocks him out; Harold reveals that he swapped Fiona’s tea that has the love potion with another tea. The now-enraged Fairy Godmother tries to kill Shrek with her magic wand, but Harold jumps in front of it; the spell ricochets off his armor and disintegrates her. With the Fairy Godmother gone, Harold reverts into the Frog Prince. Harold apologizes, admitting to using the “Happily Ever After” potion years earlier to gain Lillian’s love, and approves Shrek and Fiona’s marriage. Lillian assures Harold that she still loves him. As the clock strikes midnight, Fiona rejects Shrek’s offer to remain human, and they revert into ogres, while Donkey also returns to normal. In the mid-credits scene, Dragon, who had previously married Donkey, reveals that they now have several dragon-donkey hybrid babies.

Saturday, April 22, 2023

The Dungeons & Dragons Book Tag

Originally created by the Witty & Sarcastic Bookclub

Barbarian: In a simplified nutshell, barbarians are fighters whose anger can give them a berserker state of mind: think an overdose of adrenalin allowing someone to do the nigh impossible.

Name a character with a temper:

Jerome, from Way-farer. It’s what leads him to kill one of the fabled “Grandfathers” and find out they are nothing more than a deception of the Mushin keeping humanity shackled as cattle.


Bard: Bards use music and song to either help or hinder. Music is massively important to them, and can give them power.

Name a book/character for which music is important:

Porcelain by the musician Moby. Music was kind of his life


Cleric: “A priestly champion who wields divine magic in service of a higher power” (D&D Player’s Handbook)

Name a book/character for which religion plays a large role:

Gavin Guile from The Burning White. The author has a whole chapter with Gavin talking to the Creator on some pretty serious subjects. It’s not your usual Hollywood religion-lite crap.


Druid: Druids are representative of nature. They get their power- healing, magical spells, etc.- from either the land itself or from a nature deity. 

Name a Book where nature plays an important role:

Sentenced to Prism. The 2 main characters find out that life on Prism is integrally linked together and they themselves become part of that link by the end of the book.


Fighter: A fighter relies on physical skill. They are often good with a weapon and can function as a pretty good meat shield.

Name a book with great fight scenes:

Dune.. The scene between Paul Maud’dib and his cousin Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. While not a chapter long fight, it conveys exactly what the author wants. That is important.


Magic Users: Dungeons and Dragons features Warlocks, Wizards, and Sorcerers. Each is different, but I’m lumping them together for the purposes of this tag. The name is self-explanatory: a user of magic.

Name a book or character with cool magic:

The Swords from Fred Saberhagen’s Book of Swords. 12 Magical swords created by the gods that end up being powerful enough to kill the gods.


Paladin: A holy warrior.

Name a character with strong convictions:

Anakin Skywalker in the novelization of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. While it led him down to the dark side, he was convinced every step of the way that he was doing the correct thing. He became known as the Dark Lord for it. An Unholy Paladin if you will.


Ranger: Hunters, wilderness survivors, and protectors, rangers are often what stand between civilization and the monsters that live in the wild.

Name a character that is in tune with the wild.

Nonnus, a mage shaman hermit from the Lord of the Isles series. While he dies, he teaches Sharina everything he knows about surviving in hostile lands.


Rogue: Rogues use stealth and cunning to defeat their foes or prevail in a situation. 

Name a book or character with cunning:

The Rogues series in the Forgotten Realms immediately sprang to mind.

Friday, April 21, 2023

Asterix and the Soothsayer (Asterix #19) ★★★☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Asterix and the Soothsayer
Series: Asterix #19
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

From Asterix.fandom.com

One stormy day, the Gauls — with the exception of Getafix, who is at his annual druid meeting — are huddled in the chief’s hut, fearing for their lives. But then, a man enters the hut in a burst of lightning – it is a soothsayer, who promptly proceeds to see the future for our superstitious Gauls. He predicts that “when the storm is over, the weather will improve.” But not all are impressed; Asterix alone dares question the qualities of this soothsayer, who is in fact a fraud.

Although Asterix can see this, not everyone is convinced, most notably Impedimenta, the chief’s wife. Partly out of superstition and partly out of personal ambition, she convinces the soothsayer (known also by the name “Prolix”) to remain in official hiding near the village, where she and the other villagers may question him at will. The only two whom she will not permit into the forest are Asterix and Obelix. Obelix in particular has a grudge against the soothsayer, who has threatened to kill Dogmatix in order to examine his guts for predictions of the future.

When Obelix finally thwarts Impedimenta and enters the forest, he finds Prolix there and chases him up a tree. When he threatens to uproot it, Prolix puts him off by claiming to see a vision of a beautiful woman who loves warriors matching Obelix’ description. Obelix returns to the village and almost instantly falls for Mrs. Geriatrix.

Prolix meanwhile is arrested by a strictly rule-abiding Roman Optio (a senior officer). The Optio brings Prolix before the Centurion, who decides to make use of the imposter’s persuasive voice.

Back in the forest Impedimenta and Asterix have within moments of each other discovered the absence of the soothsayer, causing consternation among the villagers who were told by the soothsayer that the gods would put a curse on them if anything untowards happened to him. Being that Obelix has been beguiled by Prolix’s ironically accurate description of Mrs. Geriatrix (not mentioned by name), Asterix finds himself standing alone. Prolix returns at that moment, claiming dramatically that soon the air in the village will become polluted by a divine curse. Terrified, most of the villagers leave their home, to wait on a nearby island for the curse to run its course, as if it were a quarantined virus. Asterix, Obelix, and Dogmatix stay behind.

The Romans soon arrive to investigate the village, while the Gauls hide in the local undergrowth. Unknown to either, Getafix has completed his conference (which seems to be a facsimile of a twentieth-century scientific conference) and returned. Hearing of the situation, he concocts a witty plan by which to drive out the Romans and teach the villagers a lesson. Using a number of unidentified ingredients in his cauldron, the Druid literally raises such a stink that even the powerful Obelix is affected. The fumes spread to the village, expelling the Romans, Prolix, and Cacofonix the Bard who had sneaked back to find his lyre.

Prolix is baffled: the seeming fulfillment of his prediction has set him to wondering if he is becoming a real soothsayer. On the other hand, the appearance of the foul air has cemented the Centurion’s faith in his oracle. He sends word to Caesar that all of Gaul is now conquered (“All?” “All.”). But, like Crismus Bonus of Asterix the Gaul, he begins to desire the Imperial Throne for himself. To pass the time, therefore, he has the soothsayer tell him exaggerated stories of the luxuries emperors enjoy.

Meanwhile, Getafix joins the other villagers on the island to explain the Truth. Here we see a reference to the priestly role of the Druid, when Vitalstatistix begs Getafix to “appease the anger of the Gods, which has fallen upon our poor village.” To which Getafix replies “Nonsense!” and proceeds to demonstrate what is really going on.

Inspired by this, the villagers go home, while the Romans deal with their own problems. The Optio is himself confused, because even though the Centurion is convinced that Prolix is a genuine soothsayer, the Optio’s own observations tell him otherwise. Though upright and law-enforcing, he is not intellectual and finds himself thoroughly perplexed by the simplest of contradictions. Even his inferior officers regard him as an “idiot”.

In the village, trouble is still present. Impedimenta and her fellow women are not convinced that Prolix was a cheat, partly because he only foretold pleasant things for them, such as a business partnership between Vitalstatistix and Impedimenta’s brother Homeopathix, each of whom considers the other an arrogant dope.

Asterix has an idea; they might give the soothsayer a surprise, to prove that his predictions are not genuine. The surprise is quite simple: the Gaulish men and women will attack the Roman camp together. The plan is successful: the Gauls arrive at the camp and Prolix admits that he had no idea that they were coming. This convinces Impedimenta who beats the Centurion and the soothsayer with a rolling pin, causing her husband Vitalstatistix to look on her with an almost patronizing pride.

Returning to the village, the Gauls meet an envoy of Caesar’s who has come to check on the Centurion’s claim that the village is conquered. They beat him and his escort up.

The envoy, Bulbus Crocus, goes to the camp and faces the Centurion: “AND LOOK WHAT YOUR CONQUERED GAULS DID TO US, BY JUPITER!” He reduces the centurion to a common soldier, and, when the ex-centurion reflexively tries to give the Optio an order, the Optio rebukes him for his tone to a superior officer and orders him to sweep out the camp alone.

Prolix, who has been taking a lot of yelling from the now-ex Centurion over being a fraud, leaves the camp swearing to give up soothsaying at the risk of having the sky fall on his head, whereupon Rain-God, Taranis, sends down a thunderstorm.

The Gaulish village, however, is soon at peace, enjoying themselves for the present and not worrying about the future – with the exception of Cacofonix, who still dreams about being a famous singer.


Considering how the foolish the villagers act on a regular basis, it was pretty obvious the route this story was going to go. And it went exactly how I figured. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but when a story is predictable down to even the pirates getting sunk by the gauls in rowboats, well, it takes a bit of the fun out of things.

Part of the problem is that these books were originally written for children. The story lines thus would be all new to them and the problems I have wouldn’t be an issue for them at all. I don’t fault Goscinny and Uderzo for their story telling, I’m just disappointed because I wanted a fully mature story line and I’m never going to truly get that with an Asterix book. Oh well.

But passing that over, this was fun to read. The back and forth between the Centurion and his next in command about whether Prollix was a genuine soothsayer or a fraud was enough to make your head spin, but it was on the nose in terms of humor.

★★★☆☆

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Conan the Triumphant (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Triumphant
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 203
Words: 70K

From Conan.fandom.com/

Conan guides his army of mercenaries into Ianthe, capital of Ophir, where they become entangled in the chaos ensuing from the death of King Valdric. The factions of Antimides, Valentius, and Lady Synelle (Countess of Asmark) all contest for the throne. Synelle is secretly a sorceress and the high priestess of a nearly-forgotten demon god known as Al’Kiir. Al’Kiir was imprisoned within the depths of a mountain, called Tor Al’Kiir, centuries before by a mage named Avanrakash. However, Synelle plans on releasing him by providing Al’Kiir a “bride” through human sacrifice and enlist his power in obtaining the throne.

Conan comes into Synelle’s attention after he buys an idol of Al’Kiir, which she believes can be used in reviving her god. She plan on obtaining the idol, sending various agents to steal it and bewitching the Cimmerian into enlisting in her service. This attachment is complicated by Conan’s interest in Julia, a young noblewoman reduced to trulldom[check spelling], and his old rival, a female bandit named Karela the Red Hawk, one of many thieves Synelle has hired to steal the idol.

Ultimately, Synelle’s true colors are revealed. In the depths of Tor Al’Kirr, she and her priestess attempt to sacrifice Karela to raise the demon. Conan and his company battle her forces and the Cimmerian wins through—just too late. Al’Kiir is raised, but takes Synelle instead of his intended victim. When the demon turns its attention towards Karela, Conan seizes the Staff of Avanrakash and spears the creature. At its unearthly screams, Synelle’s defenders flee. Both Al’kiir and the captive sorceress harden into stone as the mountain begins to rumble. Conan and his men flee, putting as much distance as they can between themselves and the mountain before it erupts in a pillar of flame resembling the staff.

In the aftermath, the victorious army of Valentius marches onto Ianthe. The remnants of the Free Company, sidelined, break up, each going their separate way. Conan urges Karela to go to Argos with him, but she refuses, preferring her free life instead being mastered by the Cimmerian. He proceeds south alone. Meanwhile, Synelle is rescued from the destroyed mountain and brought back to life by Thoth-Amon.


There was a LOT of full, heaving breasts and long legs and rounded hips in this story. I’d say Jordan delved into that a little more than was necessary, even for a Conan story. Especially when it applies to every single named female character. They may as well all have been clones of each other as far as descriptions go. I guess hair color was the main differentiation?

That bleeding red head, Karela, is involved again. I must admit, I don’t like her. And I don’t like that Jordan keeps tying her into every story. Conan is supposed to move on after every story. Plus, it is embarrassing to read about her being such a stupid witch. I get second hand embarrassment 🙁

The part of the story dealing with the evil god trying to return didn’t land so well either. The sorceress successfully ensorcels Conan and it is only through the use of a magic staff, and not a steel sword, that Conan sends the devil god back to its imprisonment. This was as much about the politics of the city-state Conan was in as anything.

The swashbuckling action was decent, with bandits and soldiers and rogue bandit soldiers, fighting everybody. No lack of hackings, that’s for sure. Conan does his thief thing and fights the best swordsman of the city and kills him of course.

The “official” synopsis says that the sorceress is resurrected by Thoth-Amon, a big bad wizard in the original Conan stories. I did not see a trace of that in the version I read. I wonder if it is referenced in the next book and the no good jackasses who created the wiki were lazy and put it in this book’s wiki page?

Definitely not one of the better Conan stories but not one I’d consider a waste of time either.

★★★☆☆