Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road

Friday, December 30, 2022

Uncle Fred in the Springtime (Blandings Castle #7) ★★★★☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Uncle Fred in the Springtime
Series: Blandings Castle #7
Authors: PG Wodehouse
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Humor
Pages: 224
Words: 73K

I am not sure what it was about this book, or if it was this book in and of itself, that caused me to give it this 4star rating. Maybe it was because it’s been 2 months since I read a Blandings Castle story? Maybe I was extra tired that night and so “everything” seemed funnier? I don’t know why, but this hit my humor spot perfectly this time around.

The main protagonist is an Uncle Fred and he and his get down to Blandings Castle with the usual reasons (money, matrimony, pigs) and the typical chaos ensues. Thankfully, Uncle Fred isn’t as dimwitted as many of Wodehouse’s male protagonists are and thus, while he’s no Einstein, he doesn’t do stupid things, like try to steal his own pig (that’s for Lord Emsworth, the master of Blandings Castle, to do).

When I originally read this in ‘02, my main impression was how stupid everyone was. 20 years later I realize that was youth talking and thinking. Ahhh, callow youth. I’ve come to realize that just because I don’t like something, or how something is done, doesn’t make it stupid. It simply makes those who do things differently from me stupid, the actual action isn’t 😉 All of the various characters had their own reasons for doing what they did in this story and while none of it would have been what I would have done (and hopefully, nobody of sound mind), it wasn’t necessarily stupid.

It had also been long enough that I didn’t remember a single thing from my ‘02 read so it was like I was reading this for the very first time 😀 Sometimes knowing you’ve read something doesn’t trigger ANY memories. Isn’t that weird? Some things are crystal clear (like how I’ve mentioned things from when I read my old journals) and others (like this book) are a complete blank. That doesn’t frustrate me though, it simply intrigues me. I like seeing how my own brain works but I don’t want to deep dive and become a neuro-specialist. All I need to know is that my brain is awesome and I’m good to go.

You want more than that? Then I’m afraid your life is going to be filled with frustrations and break downs. Be content. Like Lord Emsworth, hahhaahahaaa. Give that man a pig and he’s completely satisfied. Not trying to say that my brain is a pig, mind you. Because I don’t even eat bacon.

★★★★☆

Thursday, December 29, 2022

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #12 ★✬☆☆☆

Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #12
Authors: Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman
Rating: 1.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 39
Words: 2K

Everyone in the group is out having a picnic when some random student stumbles across them. He escaped from ‘hardcore survivalists who made him build them an atom bomb” so they could cleanse America. Said student is then shot by the leader, one Skonk, from 600 yards away using what appears to be an M16 machine gun. Casey and April take the super genius student to a hospital while Splinter and the boys take on the Good Ol’ Boys with names like Jess, Bubba and Skonk. Who want to set off a nuclear bomb (in case you’d forgotten). Donatello removes the plutonium from the bomb without any safety gear and suffers no harm and Kronk remote detonates it thinking it is still a nuclear bomb. In the middle of the woods. In their “bunker”, which is nothing more than a ramshackle old cottage with a dilapidated garage.

This had me rolling my eyes so hard. I was all prepared to show some righteous review anger but man, this was so bad that I ended up just laughing at it. 600 yards is about 900ft, or 600 meters. You don’t shot ANYTHING through the woods that far. It is mainly in urban environments or treeless areas that that is even possible. And you certainly don’t do it with an M16. Sniper rifles are precision tools with wicked long barrels and you pretty much carry them in a case, not dangling over your shoulder on a strap like a man purse. Then you have the “genius” student who builds an a-bomb. I am not even sure where to start in dissecting how stupid that is. Those plans are highly classified and no mere student is going to have the know-how to do any such thing. And then Donatello “simply” removing the plutonium. Awwwwwwwww come on! Seriously? That’s where I simply gave up and just laughed my head off. Next, you have Skonk setting off what he thinks is the a-bomb. In the middle of the woods, with no viable target and no plans for what comes next. That’s not hardcore, that’s just stupid, hahahahaa.

And here’s a picture of the deadly A-bomb. In the garage. Up on saw horses. How can you not laugh at that?

This was a prime example of how to tell a bad story within a framework of the readers already suspending their belief (mutant turtles that are ninjas, for goodness sake). I couldn’t suspend my belief because I happen to know a little bit about guns, about militias and about nuclear bombs. How things were presented simply don’t work the way it was shown. What it shows is that the author knew as much about those things as I do about alien triceratop warriors. Guns, militias and bombs were as real to the author as alien dinosaurs, so he just makes up whatever crap he feels like and runs with it. That’s exactly what bad story telling does. If the authors had talked to even 2 hunters, they could have corrected all of their ideas about guns. If they’d gone to the library and read up on militias (this was done in ‘86 I think?) they’d know that militia groups have to be organized and skilled to survive and are not just cults with guns. If while they were at the library they’d read up on nuclear weapons, they’d know about radiation poisoning or how almost impossible it is to obtain fissionable material. But nope, they sat in their little room and made crap up.

I had no idea going into this issue that I’d be going off on a rant like this. But come on, what else am I supposed to do? Just let it slide?

This was also the issue where Eastman and Laird decided to kind of split and each would do an alternate issue, thus allowing them to focus on other comic ideas they had. I’m going to just keep on listing both their names in my reviews and even when guest authors come in, simply ignore that. Keeping track of the whims of the Artistic Type is more than I want to deal with when reading a bleeding comic book.

I’ve also realized that several of the covers I have for these issues are the complete spread, encompassing the front cover and the back, which forms a complete whole. Instead of chopping them up like I have been doing and making the “usual” sized cover, I’m going to be using the full version. So the first part of the review will have all the data under the cover instead of beside it like is normal. And this review is now approaching 900 words, so it is beyond time to quit before I lose myself here.

★✬☆☆☆

All My “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” Reviews

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Slay Ride ★★★☆☆

Title: Slay Ride
Series: ———-
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Weird Fiction
Pages: 213
Words: 86K

There were 7 short stories and then a full length novel (by the standards of yesteryear, today jackasses call it a novella) by John Wyndham, best known for his novel Day of the Triffids. I was not a fan of that novel and so wasn’t expecting much from this one. I was not disappointed. Wyndham’s novel is boring and blasé and as snobby as you can expect from a London is the Center of the World jackass.

Thankfully, a few of the short stories really carried the collection. Unfortunately, they came before the novel so the book as a whole was dragged down. But looking back, overall things were weird. Every once in a while an Alfred Hitchcock collection includes a story that outright disturbs me and makes me wonder what am I thinking in reading his stuff. This collection had one of those stories.

Party Games by James Burke is about a childrens birthday party where the local social outcast comes uninvited and the story ends with him murdering the birthday boy’s father because the boys locked the outcast in a closet during one game. It was just horrific, not because it was graphic but because the writer did a fantastic job of creating this aura of dread that hung over every paragraph. It was simply unsettling. I think as long as I keep finding stories like this disturbing that I am ok. It will be once I stop being made uncomfortable that I have something to worry about.

★★★☆☆

All of My “Alfred Hitchcock” Reviews

Monday, December 26, 2022

Blessing - MTG 4th Edition

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Merry Christmas!!! (2022 Edition)

Luke, Chapter 2, Verses 1-20

The Birth of Jesus

At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. ²(This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) ³All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. ⁴And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. ⁵He took with him Mary, to whom he was engaged, who was now expecting a child.

⁶And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. ⁷She gave birth to her firstborn son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

The Shepherds and Angels

⁸That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. ⁹Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, ¹⁰but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. ¹¹The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! ¹²And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

¹³Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,

¹⁴“Glory to God in highest heaven,
and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

¹⁵When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

¹⁶They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. ¹⁷After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. ¹⁸All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, ¹⁹but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. ²⁰The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.

God is not some remote dictator who doesn’t care about you. He sent His son Jesus to be one of us, God Incarnate in human flesh. He was born 2000 years ago and He wants you today. He is calling you, please listen.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Saturday, December 24, 2022

‘This Is Your Story’ Book Tag

‘THIS IS YOUR STORY’ BOOK TAG

Was tagged by the Orangutan Librarian

THE RULES

The Bookstooge doesn’t need no stinkin’ rules! YOU follow the rules….

QUESTIONS

AUTHOR – WHO’S WRITING YOUR STORY?

I used to think it was myself. But since I get to choose for this tag, I’m going with Charles Dickens. That way I KNOW I am either getting a happy ending or a heroic and romantic ending. I can deal with either of those two outcomes.

WORLD – WHAT LITERARY WORLD IS YOUR STORY PART OF?

Monster Hunter International. The Bookstooge is Agent Franks nightmare and I’m what really keeps him in line for the MCB.

ROMANCE – WHO WILL BE YOUR LOVE-INTEREST?

Mrs B has graciously consented to take this role. She said she wanted to be an artistic language student who is also a vet. Now is that talented or what? AND she puts up with me every day. For those of you who have followed me on this blog for any length of time, you know what a heroic effort that is

APPEARANCE – WHAT WILL YOUR CHARACTER LOOK LIKE?

Nobody sees my face, not even fictionally.

SIDEKICK – WHAT CHARACTER/CREATURE WOULD YOU HAVE BY YOUR SIDE?

I’m going to need someone that won’t out-cool me but will emphasize everything that is great about me and also mitigate my one or two teensy weensy weak points. Superman should do nicely.

GOOD, EVIL, OR GRAY – WHERE DOES YOUR CHARACTER STAND?

Totally Good. I am going to be so Good that Gandalf will look like Evil Incarnate in comparison.

DESIGNATION – WHAT WILL YOU BE? (HUMAN, FAIRY, PIRATE, PRINCESS, ETC..)

I will Identify as Saint Bookstooge, The First Bear Pope

OPPOSITION – WHO WILL BE YOUR NEMESIS?

Kermit, under the mind control of Disney+, turns evil and goes on a murderous rampage. Only I am tough enough and smart enough to outmaneuver him at every turn.

THE ENDING – HOW DOES YOUR STORY END? SPOILER ALERT!

It was a double bluff by Kermit and Me all along. Mickey had gone Evil soon after Walt died and created the Evil Empire. Only someone on the inside could get the info that was needed. Superman tried to get the info by brute force but Evil Mickey killed him. It was very sad. Jim Henson also died, but he was able to bring the data to Kermit, who in turn got it to me. Kermit, in his undercover role of Jigsaw, trapped Evil Mickey in an electric chair. Unfortunately, that had no effect on Evil Mickey, so I had to gather up every single Disney movie and tv show ever made or even financed and destroy them. The sympathetic connections between the films and Evil Mickey meant the destruction of one was the destruction of the other.

Good triumphed over evil and the World was Free at last! Hurray.

All of My “Tags”

Friday, December 23, 2022

Unsouled (Cradle #1) ★✬☆☆☆

Title: Unsouled
Series: Cradle #1
Author: Will Wight
Rating: 1.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: YA Fantasy
Pages: 243
Words: 89K

This novel starts with a dedication “To Devin, who reads as many web novels as I do”. That right there is a big fat warning sign that I should have given more weight to. If you don’t know, web novels tend to be written by chinese authors, chapter at a time centered around the most tropey of tropes that you can possibly think of. It would be like if 1000 authors suddenly started writing like David Eddings about castles and princes and princesses and wizards and stuff. It’s not necessarily bad, but it is by no means good quality stuff.

The writing is just fine but I want nothing to do with web novel inspired trash. Call me a snob, but that’s what it is. And I don’t want to support it in any way. If a place like Royal Road is your jam, then this novel and this series might be right up your alley. But for heavens sake, please don’t tell me. I don’t want to know that I helped anyone in this regards :-/

★✬☆☆☆

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Asterix in Switzerland (Asterix #16) ★★★☆☆

Title: Asterix in Switzerland
Series: Asterix #16
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

The governor of Gaul is short changing the books and so Caesar sends an accountant to find out what’s what. The governor poisons the accountant who then asks Getafix for help. The only cure is a small flower found in the mountains of Helvetia (Switzerland), so of course off Asterix and Obelix go.

Goscinny and Uderzo (the artists) have a great time skewering the Swiss for being neat freaks who eat nothing but cheese fondues. It was quite amusing. While the pirates aren’t given any actual panel time, they are mentioned by the romans and appear to have ended up sinking their own ship, haahahahaa.

I might have pointed this out before, but several times there are a mix of panel sizes and it’s not obvious which direction you are supposed to read them in, so the authors kindly inserted big black arrows to show where you were supposed to go next. Why can’t American comics do that? It was super helpful and done in such a way that the arrows didn’t detract from the panels at all. It was done with skill. Today’s artists could take a lesson, and should.

I am giving this 3stars instead of 3.5 though, because at the beginning of the story the Chief fires his shield bearers and uses Asterix and Obelix and it’s strictly used to make a lot of bad puns and word plays. If that’s your kind of thing, then you’ll probably laugh your head off. I just groaned.

★★★☆☆

All of My “Asterix” Reviews

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

His Last Bow (Sherlock Holmes #8) ★★★✬☆

Title: His Last Bow
Series: Sherlock Holmes #8
Author: Arthur Doyle
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Mystery
Pages: 233
Words: 67K

I went into this thinking this was the final entry in the Sherlock Holmes canon by Doyle. Another fine collection of short stories. But when I clicked the button on my kindle to turn what I thought was the final page, it appears that there is another whole book, The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, after this one. I must admit, that stuck in my mind more than any of the stories in this collection did.

There was not a bad story here. I don’t remember thinking, even once, “Man, I wish this story had been cut”. But at the same time, nothing was very memorable either. I hesitate to call this collection mediocre but it is really leaning that way. If it weren’t for Sherlock Holmes being such a foundational character to the whole mystery genre, I think I would have labeled this mediocre.

I have not been tagging any of these Holmes reviews with the “classic” tag because I have not really enjoyed the stories. But the truth of the matter is that these stories have shown they have staying power and still interest people today. So I am adding that tag to this review and am mentally adding it to my previous reviews (mentally only, because I don’t care enough to go and do the actual work. Ain’t nobody got time for ‘dat!).

Thinking about my feelings about Doyle and his whoring out by writing more Sherlock stories even when he was done with the character brought to mind his modern counterpart and opposite, GRR Martin. Doyle tried to kill off his series and end it while Martin has simply refused to finish his series and admitted that the tv show ending is all that fans are going to get. On one hand I castigate Doyle for being a literary whore and on the other I castigate Martin for being a bastard. Authors just can’t win with me. Which is why I like my authors either dead or as names only and not as people.

The reason I write that is because reading a book, or a series of books, involves more than just the words on the page. Our emotions are part of the process, whether good or bad and we have to realize that. Which is why it is important to follow a blogger over a longer period of time (more than a week, for goodness sake!) to see how they judge things. Just because somebody likes Dune by Frank Herbert doesn’t mean my tastes are going to align with theirs most of the time. And just because I rate a favorite book of yours highly doesn’t mean I’m going to review books that you want to see reviewed. The whole intersection between book reviewing and blogging is still on my mind and so these peculiar thoughts pop up at the oddest times and I have to get them out where I can so I don’t forget about them. I realize it can overshadow the book itself (I think I’ve written more about this than the actual book) but I don’t read books in a vacuum and is part of the whole blogging experience. Trying to divorce myself from that aspect of writing is what led me to take off the whole month of October this year.

When I read a book, tangential thoughts pop up like moles. And when I go to write about that tangential thought in the review, it can lead me down paths that have almost nothing to do with the book in question. I do try to be careful and post the road signs so I’m not just jumping from one random thought to another, but sometimes that happens because it happens in my head.

All of that is a roundabout way of saying that just because a particular review might be short doesn’t mean I don’t have a boatload of thoughts on the book. Most of the time I just don’t want to go down the rabbit trails and all the various cliffs they inevitably lead to. Sherlock Holmes might be able to read my mind by knowing my word choice, but I don’t expect any of you who follow me to do such a thing.

And if you think this review was incoherent and chaotic, you’re correct. I had to do a 12hr fast for blood work labs and was wicked hungry when I wrote this. Tough to think straight when all you can have is water :-/

★★★✬☆

All of my “Sherlock Holmes” reviews

Tuesday, December 20, 2022

[Repost] 50 Questions Answered by the Inestimable Bookstooge

I was looking through some of my older posts before I came fully to WordPress and ran across Answer All these Random Questions one. It made me laugh so I thought I’d share again. Ahhh, I do miss Booklikes….

This was Originally Posted in 2016.

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open. Too much effort in the morning to have to open them again.

2. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
I roll around in my sleep, a lot. So they end up un-tucked.

3. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
No.

4. Do you cut out coupons and never use them?
Yep. Then I quit when I realized what a time waster it was for me.

5. Would you rather be attacked by bears or bees?
In the woods: a bear. at least I could fight it off with my machete.
In the non-woods: bees. Easy to get treatment for.

6. Do you have freckles?
Yes

7. Do you always smile for pictures?
An emphatic no.

8. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Sometimes. More likely to count cars going the opposite direction from me when driving. Or count utility poles. Until I force myself to stop.

9. Have you ever peed in the woods?
Every workday. It’s just part of the job.

10. What about pooped in the woods?
Yes. Not fun, but circumstances leave you with no choice when you’re 1/2mile from any civilization.

11. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
No.

12. What’s your song of the week?
I don’t listen to music on the radio.

13. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
As a man, I can speak authoritatively on this. And I will.
It is PERFECTLY OK to wear pink.
if you’re not a man.

14. Do you still watch Cartoons?
Absolutely. Spongebob never fails to entertain me.

15. What do you drink with dinner?
Usually one of those no-calorie flavored drink mixes you add to a 1/2 liter of water.
2022 Answer is: Vanilla Coke Zero!

16. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Nothing

17. What’s your favourite food?
Pizza.

18. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
No.

19. Would you ever strip or pose naked for a magazine?
No. I have my dignity.
And I feel only sadness for those who do do such things. What kind of life are they living where they feel it necessary to do that?

20. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Yes. But not in the last 10 years.

21. Favorite kind of sandwich?
Bologna and cheese on whole wheat bread.

22. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Rice krispies and hardboiled eggs. Quick, easy and almost no cleanup.

23. What’s your usual bedtime?
I start getting read by 9pm and if I’m good, 9:45pm. If I’m bad, I’ll stay up to 11 reading. And then I pay for it the next morning. I need 8hrs of sleep. Not 7.

24. Are you lazy?
Like you wouldn’t believe. We’re lucky if I vacuum the house twice a month.

25. What is your Chinese astrology sign?
I am theologically and philosophically opposed to mysticism. So I avoid this kind of thing like the plague.

26. How many languages can you speak?

Three:
American
Iglatinpay
Chinese-o.

27. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
No. I haven’t had a magazine subscription since Scrye in the 90’s.

28. Are you stubborn?
Not at all. I’m the most laid back, easy to please, easy to get along with guy you’ll ever meet.

29. Are you afraid of heights?
Yep. Both hands on the ladder kind of guy.

30. Do you sing in the car?
I only listen to preachers and newsmen in the car.

31. Do you ever dance in the car?
How is that even possible?

32. Ever used a gun?
Absolutely. Own them too. Probably going to get my first sub-compact handgun this year in fact.
oh, little did I know when I wrote that answer. You can call me Mr Guns AND Ammo in 2022.

33. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Highschool in the mid 90’s.

34. Do you think muscles are cheesy?
No.

35. Favorite type of fruit pie?
Banana cream pie or Pumpkin.

36. Occupation you wanted to be when you were a kid?
I don’t ever remember thinking about this.

37. Do you believe in ghosts?
Not in the sense of someone’s spirit being here in this world after death. Demons masquerading as said spirits, then yes

.
38. Ever had a deja-vu feeling?
Yes.

39. First concert?
Never

40. Nike or Adidas?
Don’t care

41. Ever take dance lessons?
No.

42. Regularly burn incense?
It is a fire hazard. So no.

43. Who would you like to see in concert?
Enya? But her music is multi-layered, so I’m not sure how well that would work out live in concert.

44. Hot tea or cold tea?
Iced chai. But that is it.

45. Tea or Coffee?
Coffee. Unless it is a hot afternoon, then I’ll take the iced chai.

46. Can you swim well?
No. Enough to save my life, but that is about it.

47. Are you patient?
Absolutely. In fact, in some circles I am known as Saint Bookstooge, patron saint of Patient People.

48. DJ or band at a wedding?
Neither. Both are too loud and annoying.

49. Which are better, black or green olives?
Black on pizza. but green with pimento’s straight out of the jar.

50. Would you rather live in a fictional world or the real world?
Real world. God I can trust. A human author, not so much.