Thursday, May 30, 2024

The Cossacks (The Russians) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Cossacks
Series: (The Russians)
Author: Leo Tolstoy
Translator:
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 230
Words: 66K




A story of a young man without a guiding hand trying to figure out the best way to live. Olenin is a rich young man who leaves the city life, with all of it’s problems, including his debts, both monetary and social, to join up with the army and be stationed in some Cossack village. He is an outsider, not knowing how to fit in with the Cossacks, or his army buddies or himself for that matter. He makes a friend of an older cossack and falls in love with the beautiful daughter of the headman of the village. The story ends with her refusing to marry him, him leaving the village and nobody caring at all that he is leaving.

What a roller coaster this was to read. I went from being totally disgusted with Olenin and his thoughts and behavior (not that he did anything bad, but he was so unsure of himself and everything) to feeling sorry for him to thinking “Boy, this guy is going to have to grow up fast if he wants to survive”. The biggest issue is that Olenin is by himself in trying to figure out how to live life in a way that suits him. He’s tried the “idle rich” of Moscow lifestyle and it didn’t work. Now he’s trying the “simple life” of a cossack peasant and by book’s end, he realizes that isn’t for him either. It made me incredibly thankful for all the mentors I had throughout the years growing up, from my teens and up into my 20’s. It’s not that I didn’t have questions, but people who had already gone through those same questions could tell me their experiences and what they found out. I didn’t need to repeat all the same mistakes, if I was willing to learn from others. But I had to be around them, I couldn’t be by myself. And that is the thing, Olenin was by himself. It was sad to see.

I found the ending to be truly sad though. He’s leaving the village and the guy who he thought was his friend just ignores him, because he’s gotten everything from him that he could. Since Olenin is leaving, there’s nothing more to be got from him and so he is no longer worth paying attention to. The issue with the headman’s daughter did leave me confused. I was under the impression that she was willing to marry Olenin, but then suddenly, she’s not. There’s a lot of unsaid stuff alluded to and I couldn’t tell if that vagueness was in the original writing or the translator’s fault. Either way, it felt like walking into a brick wall when you were expecting an open door.

Glad to have read this but I doubt I’ll ever attempt to re-read it.

★★★


From Wikipedia

The young idealist Dmitry Andreich Olenin leaves Moscow, hoping to start a new life in the Caucasus. In the stanitsa, he slowly becomes enamored of the surroundings and despises his previous existence. He befriends the old Cossack Eroshka, who goes hunting with him and finds him a good fellow because of his propensity to drinking. During this time, young Cossack Luka kills a Chechen who is trying to come across the river towards the village to scout the Cossacks and in this way gains much respect. Olenin falls in love with the maid Maryanka, who is to be wed to Luka later in the story. He tries to stop this emotion and eventually convinces himself that he loves both Luka and Maryanka for their simplicity and decides that happiness can only come to a man who constantly gives to others with no thought of self-gratification.

He first gives an extra horse to Luka, who accepts the present yet doesn't trust Olenin on his motives. As time goes on, however, though he gains the respect of the local villagers, another Russian named Beletsky, who is still attached to the ways of Moscow, comes and partially corrupts Olenin's ideals and convinces him through his actions to attempt to win Maryanka's love. Olenin approaches her several times and Luka hears about this from a Cossack, and thus does not invite Olenin to the betrothal party. Olenin spends the night with Eroshka but soon decides that he will not give up on the girl and attempts to win her heart again. He eventually, in a moment of passion, asks her to marry him, which she says she will answer soon.

Luka, however, is severely wounded when he and a group of Cossacks go to confront a group of Chechens who are trying to attack the village, including the brother of the man he killed earlier. Though the Chechens lose after the Cossacks take a cart to block their bullets, the brother of the slain Chechen manages to shoot Luka in the belly when he is close by. As Luka seems to be dying and is being cared for by village people, Olenin approaches Maryanka to ask her to marry him; she angrily refuses. He realizes that "his first impression of this woman's inaccessibility had been perfectly correct." He asks his company commander to leave and join the staff. He says goodbye to Eroshka, who is the only villager who sees him off. Eroshka is emotional towards Olenin but after Olenin takes off and looks back, he sees that Eroshka has apparently already forgotten about him and has gotten back to normal life.



Tuesday, May 28, 2024

A Subtle Agency (The Metaframe War #1) 3Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: A Subtle Agency
Series: The Metaframe War #1
Author: Graeme Rodaughan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Pages: 212
Words: 84K







When I featured this series in a Shelf Control post, I was under the impression that the final book was coming out this year. I later found out it had been released at the end of ‘23. That decided me right away and I added the series to my kindle to read. Waiting seven years for the series to be written was long enough in my opinion.

Unfortunately, for me, it didn’t start out so well. I featured a quote in a Currently Reading post and it was pretty much the epitome of an indie urban fantasy and it encapsulated every single reason why I tend to avoid UF as a genre. Thankfully, for the book and author, things did improve after that disastrous start, but it never truly recovered in my mind.

The writing was decent, nothing bad stood out, no egregious grammatical errors or butchering of the English language. At the same time, it wasn’t very good writing either. It didn’t flow. It was choppy. There were quite a few instances of “He said, she said, he did, she did” kind of writing. Rodaughan came across as an author who was working hard to do the right thing, but was someone who didn’t have an instinctual grasp of the art of writing. “General Chloe Armitage” made a lot of appearances, with that title attached every time.

The ideas presented were what saved this book. Things start off in Ancient Egypt, with two brothers. The wife of one of them has just died and he is using the power of the Metaframe Engine to bring her back to life. His brother is trying to stop him. She is revived, as a vampire and thus the race of vampires is born and the hidden course of history is set. The surviving brother starts a hidden group bent on fighting the vampires to keep humanity free. That group, over the years, has schismed into two groups, one that wants to fight the vampires and protect humanity and the other, which just wants to fight the vampires. Oh, the vampires secretly rule the world too. We get to follow a possible “Chosen One” on his “Coming of Age Journey”. All tropes that I really enjoy.

I definitely plan on continuing the series and hope that as the years passed for the author, that his skill increased. I guess I’ll be finding out in the coming months :-D

★★★☆☆


From the Publisher

ACTION STATIONS! A Thrilling Suspense-Filled Fantasy Action Adventure in a complete series of seven books.

Hunters and vampires are fighting a secret war for control of the fabric of reality. Whoever acquires mastery of the reality shifting powers of the Metaframe will become the new gods of the universe.

"Imagine if you could change the rules of the game, what rules would you choose?"

Witness to a brutal murder, eighteen year old Anton Slayne is inducted by the mysterious Mr Wu into the secret society of vampire hunters, the Order of Thoth. He soon discovers that vicious local gangsters, determined Boston Police Detectives, and relentless Shadowstone operatives pale into insignificance as he is drawn into the machinations of the enigmatic vampire general, Chloe Armitage.

Heir to a legacy of extraordinary powers, Anton joins a team of hunters, but that is no guarantee of survival against the most powerful vampires in the world, especially when they're equipped with the latest available technology and super weapons.




Saturday, May 25, 2024

Betrayal (Jet #2) 2Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission


Title: Betrayal
Series: Jet #2
Author: Russell Blake
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Action/Adventure
Pages: 238
Words: 75K







I am a fan of the Bourne movies, not the books. The books are slow and while not technically boring, are not action/thriller books. They are 1980/90’s spy books. I bring this up because in the synopsis it claims that fans of the Bourne trilogy will be delighted by this book. They lied. I was NOT delighted. I wasn’t enthralled. I was not even amused slightly.

Pretty much everything I wrote in my review for Jet (book 1) applies to this one as well.

Jet is not professional. In fact, I might be a better assassin than she is. She’s just lucky. All the time, every time. Even when she’s not, she’s still lucky because she lives and doesn’t die.

Jet is stupid. Plain and simple. This book starts with her heading to the US to kidnap her daughter from the family she was hidden with to protect her from any enemies that Jet has. Does she give ANY thought to the family she is taking her daughter from? Exactly zero fucks were given by Jet about them. As far as I could tell, she didn’t even research who they were, beyond where they lived. Are they good people, are they bad people, are they stable people? None of those questions are asked by Jet because all she wants is her daughter and she doesn’t take even one second to think if she SHOULD take her daughter or what is best for her daughter. It is all about Jet and nobody else.

Jet is too emotional. In fact, Jet reminded me of Agent Zero, in every worst possible way. She regularly jeopardizes whatever current mission she is on because she reacts to circumstances she encounters. She also regularly has emotional outbursts that translate into violence to those around her, with no regard for what those outbursts will lead too. Which in most cases would her being killed, if it weren’t for the author making her so lucky and staying alive (see the first point above).

The action was still awesome. In some ways, it was even better than the first book. But that is not enough.

I will be abandoning this series and I’m going to be avoiding this writer. Someone who writes such stupid people and saves them from their decisions by authorial fiat is not a writer who I want anything to do with. That is bad writing folks, just plain bad writing. There is no need for it and I won’t contribute to its perpetuation any more.

So adios Blake. You’re a wanker, a bad writer and you are making the world a worse place with your subpar crap.

★★☆☆☆


From the Publisher
Twenty-eight year old Jet, the former Mossad operative from the eponymous novel JET, must battle insurmountable odds to protect those she loves in a deadly race that stretches from the heartland of Nebraska to the corridors of power in Washington, D.C., from the lurid streets of Bangkok to the deadly jungles of Laos and Myanmar. Fans of Kill Bill, The Bourne Trilogy, and 24 will be delighted by this roller-coaster of action, intrigue and suspense.


Friday, May 24, 2024

Ronin (Usagi Yojimbo #1) 3Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Ronin
Series: Usagi Yojimbo #1
Author: Stan Sakai
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Graphic Novel
Pages: 140
Words: 14K






I felt like something different today and so I delved back into my collection of comics. Don’t expect this to be a monthly thing though, this is pure mood.

I quite enjoyed this. Each chapter was a self contained story where we learned a little about Usagi (the Yojimbo is a title meaning bodyguard) and how he became a Ronin and how he got the title Yojimbo. This is a linear story with some flashbacks. I liked the straightforwardness of it.

The author/artist, Stan Sakai, also does a good job right from the get go. His drawings at the beginning of the book look just the same as those at the end, which considering these were released individually over time, means he was already skilled when he started. Unlike, say, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, where the art looked like it was done with a number 2 pencil on a napkin, this was well done from top to bottom. I enjoy looking at something that is well executed from the start. The lines are clean and I can actually see what is going on, even in the action sequences.

Because this takes place in the 1600’s in Japan, when the Shogunate was just coming into being, it felt very similar to the manga Rurouni Kenshin, which takes place in the 1800’s at the ending of the Shogunate. No magic or super powered villains though, just plain skilled warriors and a rough and tumble lifestyle. I thought the mix of anthropomorphic animals and humans together wasn’t going to work, but I have to say, it really did. Sakai didn’t try to give each animal set of people some “animal” trait and thus they were able to simply be another set of people. It definitely makes for a more fun reading time.

I had a good time reading this but feel no need to pick up the next volume. Which means when the mood strikes, I’ll probably enjoy the next volume quite a bit too.

Oh, oh, oh, I ALMOST FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT BIT!!!!!!!!!!! (that’s what happens when I start blabbing, the important bits go right out the window)

Groo the Wanderer is referenced AND he makes an appearance. Now that is totally awesome awesomesauce.


★★★☆☆


Table of Contents

"The Goblin of Adachigahara"

"Lone Rabbit and Child

"The Confession"

"Bounty Hunter"

"Horse Thief"

"Village of Fear"

"A Quiet Meal

"Blind Swords-Pig

"Homecoming

"Bounty Hunter II"


Thursday, May 23, 2024

Rufferto (Groo the Wanderer #29) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Rufferto
Series: Groo the Wanderer #29
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 23
Words: 2K




Hahahahaa, another great entry. I just love these comics. This starts out exactly how I would react to Groo being on a demolition crew. I just laughed my head off.



One interesting thing I found in this comic was that the lettering for the comic is done by a guy named Stan Sakai. I know that name. You’ll know that name too. If you read tomorrow’s post ;-)

★★★✬☆


From Bookstooge.blog

Groo destroys a building, sets a royal dog free and then when the dog follows him, tries to eat it. It remains loyal to Groo and when Groo falls into some quicksand, the dog gets some villagers to rescue Groo. They recognize Groo and begin shoving him even quicker into the quicksand. Royal Soldiers track them all down and take the dog back. A random villager accidentally saves Groo. Groo sees a reward poster for the dog, attacks the royal palace and takes the dog for the reward, not realizing who the true owners are.



Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Convergence (Galaxy's Edge #13) 3Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Convergence
Series: Galaxy's Edge #13
Author: Jason Anspach & Nick Cole
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Military SF
Pages: 311
Words: 107K





This really felt like a straight up Military-SF story rather than a space opera. I don’t WANT to read that. I want the Star Wars that might have been, and I am not getting that. At all.

This is what happens when you place authors as people on pedestals. They without fail will let you down. I am becoming very disillusioned with this duo and I don’t know whether to continue to see if they turn things around, or if they just go down the path they’ve apparently set out on. I DO NOT WANT MILITARY SPECIAL OPS STORIES. They have enough other series to do that in. Give me that sweet, sweet space opera.

I know I will finish this series but I question if I will read anything else by them. Which is too bad, because they are talented writers and they “could” be telling some enthralling stories.

★★★☆☆


From Galaxysedge.fandom.com

ALLIES AND ENEMIES GROW THEIR FORCES…

As the galaxy marches headlong toward the greatest threat to peace since the Savage Wars, the flames are lit in the most unlikely of places.

Trapped inside a Savage mini hulk, Prisma faces a future where little is as she expected it would be, and a past that is even more troubling than she knew. Aboard a Cybar ship, Andien Broxin fights for her life with the most unlikely of allies at her side. And on the Kimbrin home world, Masters joins a Legion Special Operations Group tasked with checking a resurgent MCR… only to find himself embroiled in the flashpoint that will again plunge the galaxy into war.

Goth Sullus has fallen. Tyrus Rechs is a memory. But those who are enemies of both men are now set to step forth and reveal themselves on the galactic stage—unless the Republic, and the Legion, can answer the call to sacrifice.



Sunday, May 19, 2024

Conan the Hunter (Conan the Barbarian #18) 2.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Hunter
Series: Conan the Barbarian #18
Author: Sean Moore
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 197
Words: 81K





This was pathetic, just sad. It wasn’t a Conan story, it was a Forgotten Realms fantasy story with the warrior figure renamed to be Conan. Plus, the author was a young computer programmer. He’s dead now, so he’ll never get better.

This had gods and demons directly interacting with Conan. Not only that, but Conan being helpless in the face of it all. That’s the thing that Howard, the author of the original Conan stories, made sure to emphasize, Conan had an indomitable will that nothing could conquer or thwart. Plus, there is no good magic and there are no good gods. They are all evil, despicable shadow beings that are best left in the dust of ruins and history.

This really was just a generic fantasy story in a Conan wrapper. It was the Mona Lisa, only to find that she had 6 fingers because it was AI generated and not the real thing. It was a delicious pepperoni pizza, only to find out on the first bite it was just gravel glued to a paper plate. I could go on but I won’t.

The only good thing about this story is that it is the only Conan story by Moore that I have access too. Apparently he wrote two more, but thankfully the decision whether to read them or not has been taken out of my hand. Boo yah for the good guys!

(that makes zero sense you know. But I write a lot of things that don’t particularly make sense and nobody seems to mind. So really, it is your fault. I hope that makes you happy)

★★✬☆☆


From Wikipedia

After facing a sewer monster, Conan is enlisted against a demon sorceress's conspiracy in restoring the wealth of her ancient race. In their struggle against Valtresca and Azora, the Cimmerian and his allies Salvorus, Kailash the hillman, and a young priest, Madesus, encounter numerous traps and divine intervention in an adventure culminating in a ruined temple with legions of gargoyles and the resurrection of the horrific villain Skauraul.



Friday, May 17, 2024

Toyman (Dumarest #3) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Toyman
Series: Dumarest #3
Author: EC Tubb
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 158
Words: 46K







I am thoroughly enjoying these adventures of Earl Dumarest. He’s a man’s man with just the right amount of bravado and nonchalance balanced with a caring side that comes out at the oddest times. In this adventure, he comes to the planet Toy, can’t immediately pay his way off the planet and thus is drafted into a game where the corporate owners of Toy bet stock options on the outcomes of battles. The Toyman, the leader with the most stock, is a megamaniacal murderer who wants to be the supreme leader. He’s being helped by the Cyclans and Earl gets caught up between the factions.

In one scene, he has to fight a cage full of spiders, each the size of a basketball or larger. With his bare hands. There was some major pulp action going on! It was great.

Also on the plus side, there was no woman for Dumarest to get involved in. There is the sister of the Toyman, and she controls the next largest chunk of stock, but she’s in love with one of the other leaders and her brother uses that against her.

The whole point of Dumarest coming to this world was to ask the Super Computer about Earth. But of course, the Cyclan’s plot destroys the ONE part of the machine that had that info. Dumarest does learn that Earth is also called Terra, so he got one crumb. One measly crumb. But as I pointed out in the previous review, Dumarest getting back to Earth doesn’t make sense, so it has really lost its meaning to me.

The covers. Man, there were some weeeeeeeird ones. I chose this one because it showed the least amount of nakedness. One has Dumarest in a plastic codpiece with giant plastic shoulder pads wielding a sword while another has a naked mutant lady with flippers and wings in a giant tank with Dumarest looking on. Neither were covers I wanted to showcase, so you ended up with this monstrosity. I have zero idea what it is supposed to represent, but I figure it some artists drugged out idea of Dumarest and the world of Toy.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

Space-wanderer Earl Dumarest is on the planet Toy to consult the giant computer which may contain information on the whereabouts of Earth, his lost home-world.
But soon he realises Toy is a place that gives away nothing for free. Before Dumarest can gain the information he needs, he must take part in the Toy Games - must fight like a tin soldier in a vast nursery.
And there is nothing playful about the Games on Toy. The pain is real enough; the wounds, the blood - and death.


Thursday, May 16, 2024

The Restaurant at the End of the Galaxy (THGttG #2) 3Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Restaurant at the End of the Galaxy
Series: THGttG #2
Author: Douglas Adams
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 196
Words: 53K







This is why I don’t usually read “Introductions” to the books I read. Some jackass, who nobody has heard of before, has to write about his impressions of a book/series/author, much like a blogger in fact. And all they do is totally screw up your expectations of the story because of their determination to put their own spin on it.

This series is a pointless, silly, humorous and totally empty little series. It means nothing and in another decade or so, will totally be forgotten. And I would read it that way and let it go it’s merry little way, tra-la-la’ing into oblivion without a care in the world.

EXCEPT

I read the introduction and the stupid dumbkopf talks about how meaningful this book is/was to him and a whole generation and how it changed the blah blah, blahhhhh, blah. You get the idea. So now when I am reading this, I have this idea kicking around in the back of my mind that this book changed peoples’ lives and I’m forced to take it seriously. Anyone who read this book and series, and it changed their lives, is so stupendously stupid and shallow that that change would be comparable to me dipping my pinky finger in the Atlantic Ocean and claiming that I had changed the ocean.

This is silly nonsense! Pure and simple. Hopefully after this book, I can treat it as such.

★★★☆☆


From Wikipedia

Arthur Dent, Ford Prefect, Trillian, and Zaphod Beeblebrox leave the planet Magrathea on the Heart of Gold. A Vogon ship bribed by Gag Halfrunt and a group of psychiatrists, fearful that the discovery of the Ultimate Question will end their profession, intercepts and fires at them. Meanwhile, Arthur gets frustrated that the ship is unable to produce any beverages beyond an undrinkable tea-like liquid that is "almost but not quite entirely unlike tea". He gives a lengthy description of tea, causing Eddie the Shipboard Computer to become CPU-bound and unable to fight the Vogon ship off. Desperate, Zaphod decides to hold a séance to call up his great-grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth to rescue them. The elder Zaphod scolds his descendant and sends him on a quest to find The Ruler of the Universe in order to solve the political and economic instability plaguing the universe. He transports Zaphod and Marvin to Ursa Minor Beta, the tropical home planet of the offices of the Hitchhiker's Guide's publisher Megadodo Publications, and leaves the others on the depowered ship in a black void.

Acting on a thought from the portion of his brain unaffected by his lobotomy, Zaphod goes looking for Zarniwoop, the Guide's lead editor, though his staff insist he has been out on an intergalactic cruise. A man named Roosta takes Zaphod to Zarniwoop's offices. Frogstar fighters arrive and attack the building, towing it to one of their home planets, Frogstar World B, a planet whose society collapsed through an economic process called the "Shoe Event Horizon" which rendered its economy unable to support any enterprises besides shoe stores. The planet eventually became the site of the Total Perspective Vortex, a device that drives those who experience it mad due to showing them their insignificance compared to the infinite universe. Following Roosta's instructions and escaping through Zarniwoop's office's windows, Zaphod is caught by Gargravarr, a disembodied mind undergoing a trial separation from his body, who takes Zaphod to be exposed to the Vortex. However, Zaphod is unfazed by the Vortex, suggesting to a perplexed Gargravarr that it showed Zaphod that he was the most important being in the universe.

Left on his own, Zaphod eventually finds a long-abandoned spaceliner whose passengers have been forcibly kept in 900 years of suspended animation by the autopilot after the collapse of their civilization until a new one could develop to load the ship with lemon-scented paper napkins. On the ship he discovers Zarniwoop, who reveals that Zaphod stepped into a computer simulation of the universe when he walked into his office, allowing Zaphod to survive the Vortex since the universe was designed for his benefit. Zarniwoop further reveals that the Heart of Gold had been microscopically shrunk and placed in Zaphod's pocket so that they can use it to find the true ruler of the universe, whom Zarniwoop has located. However, Zaphod abandons Zarniwoop, reunites with Ford, Arthur, and Trillian, and escapes to the nearest restaurant. This turns out to be the Restaurant at the End of the Universe, built atop the ruins of Frogstar World B and existing in a time bubble near the end of the universe, which it offers its guests spectacular views of. At the restaurant they meet Ford's old acquaintance Hotblack Desiato, a member of the rock band Disaster Area, which is known for making the loudest sound in the universe and only perform their concerts remotely from an orbiting spaceship. During their dinner, Zaphod receives a telephone call from Marvin, who has been stranded on the planet for billions of years and is now working as a valet in the restaurant's parking lot.

Zaphod suggests they leave, trying to steal a sleek, all-black spacecraft next to Hotblack Desiato's limoship. With their ship on complete autopilot and unable to wrest the controls away from it, an agitated Zaphod admits that he still wants to solve the Question to the Ultimate Answer. Marvin abruptly tells them that the question is imprinted in Arthur's brainwaves, but they are distracted before they can ask further. They learn that the ship is actually an uncrewed stunt ship for Disaster Area, which is programmed to fall into a local sun to create solar flares in synchronization with the climax of the band's concert. They discover a partially installed emergency teleporter without a guidance system and Zaphod volunteers Marvin to stay behind and operate it so the others can escape. Zaphod and Trillian find themselves back aboard the Heart of Gold under Zarniwoop's control, where he is using the ship's Improbability Drive to penetrate the Unprobability Field that is protecting the home planet of the Ruler of the Universe. On an unpopulated planet, they find the Ruler who has no idea he is the ruler, is not convinced of a broader universe outside of his home, and is even skeptical if anything around him exists. While an enraged Zarniwoop tries to reason with the Ruler, Zaphod and Trillian strand him and make their escape in the Heart of Gold.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Ford find themselves aboard Ark Fleet Ship B, which is loaded with 15 million passengers from the planet Golgafrincham and is commanded by an inept captain who is only concerned with taking baths. Although the Golgafrinchans were ostensibly evacuated to escape a planetary disaster, in actuality the disaster was made up by the Golgafrinchans to divest themselves of a useless third of their population, later going extinct from a pandemic caused by dirty telephone receivers after they expelled all telephone sanitizers. The Ark crash-lands into a swamp on an undeveloped planet. Arthur and Ford leave to search for a signal from any passing spaceship, traveling for hundreds of miles around the continent. Along the way the planet's primitive yet friendly hominid-like inhabitants usher them away from their home settlements and leave them fruit. After finding a glacier with a Magrathean inscription honoring Slartibartfast, they realize they are on pre-historic Earth in 2,000,000 BC, that the hominids are Neanderthals, that they have traveled across Europe from the future site of Arthur's home city of Islington in Great Britain to Norway, and that the Golgafrinchans are the ancestors of the modern human race.

They return to the Golgafrinchans, only to find that they have been too preoccupied with trying to form council meetings about documentary-making, fiscal policy, searching for hot springs for the captain's baths, and declaring war on uninhabited continents to bother with trying to discover fire, invent the wheel, or solve pressing issues. Ford tries to warn them that they will be annihilated in 2 million years, but they ignore him. Desperate, Arthur tries to teach the Neanderthals, who have been mysteriously wasting away since the Ark's arrival, through a makeshift Scrabble set. When one of the Neanderthals spells out the word "forty-two" with the letter tiles, Ford realizes that the Neanderthals were part of the matrix of Deep Thought's computer to determine the Ultimate Question and that the Golgafrinchans are interfering with the machination by displacing them. However, they also remember Marvin's claim that the Ultimate Question was embedded in Arthur's mind. Hoping that remnants of the programming exist in Arthur's subconscious, they have Arthur pull out tiles at random from the Scrabble set, only to discover that the Question is "What do you get if you multiply six by nine?" Ford thinks this explains why the universe is a giant "cock-up", and the two resign to make the best of their life on prehistoric Earth. They go on a date with two Golgafrinchan women, and Arthur throws his copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide in the river.



Wednesday, May 15, 2024

A Phule and His Money (Phule’s Company #3) 2.5Stars

 

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Title: A Phule and His Money
Series: Phule’s Company #3
Author: Robert Asprin & Peter Heck
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 343
Words: 90K







This is where I don’t follow my own advice. This was a very mediocre book. Not bad, but 100% mediocre. If I saw someone else read this book and say the things I will say, I would recommend, very strongly to them, that they abandon the series and let it go. My problem, at least as I tell myself, is that I don’t actually have that many “new to me” series or authors to replace it. Most of what I am reading is stuff in a longer running series (Discworld, Nero Wolfe, 87th Precinct, The Shadow, etc) and it takes more time and effort on my part to search out a new series or author than it does to simply slog through the oatmeal books.

Peter Heck joined the authorial crew here but to be honest, I never would have known it. I suspect Asprin gave him a rough outline and Heck did all the heavy writing in Asprin’s style and they called it a day. I was down for the count when I read this (really bad cold again, put me out of work for a day with all the coughing) but even still, there was no energy to the story or characters. It was boring.

If any of you can suggest some stuff to me that is pre-2000 and that I haven’t already read and sounds semi-interesting to me, I’ll gladly dump this and try that.
★★✬☆☆


From the Publisher

Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule’s Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into…a crack team of casino security guards.

Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise—goofing off—than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?