The date given right in the first chapter is 1903. And Dame Cartland wastes no time in inundating us with the most purple’ish of prose. The saving grace is that each purple description is so short.
We find out that Tiana’s parents (Tiana is the main character, who is 19) died together from a fever they contracted while nursing amongst the local villages. And her father wrote her a letter saying not to worry, because they were so happy together and were happy they both were dying so they could be in heaven together. Oh, and they talk about restoring the dump of a castle they had inherited and been pouring their money into. I mean, your wife has just died, you are about to die and you’re sending your only child of 19 a letter and you talk about the bloody castle restoration?
It was all just a syrupy potion to mask the reality of the sadness of their death. Can’t have sadness in a romance after all. Not even “I” would want that. So I have to give Dame Cartland her due, she writes the situation well.
The scene then immediately changes over to the other main character, Richard, Earl of Austindale. Who has just found out that the will from his grandfather has made matrimony a part of inheriting the estates. If he’s not married by 30, he loses it all. What kind of nonsense is this?!? Not that it exists, because that kind of stipulation seems rather wise to me. If you have to think about somebody else besides yourself in regards to your fortune, you are going to be LOT more careful. No, what I refer to is that Richard is just finding this out 3 months or so before his 30th birthday when this will take effect. WUT?!?! That’s the kind of information his dad should have talked about with him along with the birds and the bees talk at 12. If I were him, I’d immediately fire the lawyer handling this for dereliction of duty. Like a real man, Richard immediately thinks of a solution and realizes it isn’t viable (some chickie boo who he likes and apparently likes him, but prefers gallivanting across the continent to country life). At least Richard is smart enough to realize trying to marry Chickie Boo would be a huge mistake. Good on him for that! And it gets even more drama’y when he finds out that his younger cousin will inherit everything, and said cousin is a confirmed gambler and will spend the accumulation of wealth of three lifetimes in a matter of months, thus destroying the family name, honor and material wealth. Now there’s a conundrum for you.
The chapter ends with the two main characters meeting each other.
Incredible! While the prose is some of the most purple I have ever read, and so generic and vague that it feels like a formula (Duke “insert name” with “insert pants type” walked over to Heroine “insert name” and said “insert romantic platitude”), the intent and the information are gotten across quick as a whip. The setup is completely done in ONE chapter. Man, I wish more authors out there would do things like that.
On to chapter two.
In which we find out that Tiana’s parents were typical pie in the sky dreamers and wasted everything on restoring the castle, to the point where they left no money whatsoever to their daughter. And the castle wasn’t really restored. Oh, that pissed me off. The parents put their dream ahead of their child. If they weren’t already dead, I’d be tempted to toss them off the battlements of Castle Rose. I would say they were typical English idiots without a passing grasp of reality, the kind who squander the little they do have and bring their children to rack and ruin. Shame on them. They aren’t going to heaven now, that’s for sure!
Tiana meets an old Grand Uncle who drops by for just enough time to give her a family heirloom, which she can sell to live on. Of course we know she’ll use the funds for the castle. She approaches Richard and they are both surprised when they discover who the other really is. They met in chapter one and Richard thought Tiana was a visiting townie and Tiana thought Richard was a farmer. Richard is not at all impressed with the Grand Uncle placing the burden of selling the jewelry on Tiana, and I must admit, I am in full agreement with him on that.
The chapter ends with Richard proposing to Tiana, since he needs a wife and she needs the funds for Castle Rose. It comes out of no where, but it fits with the hasty speed of this story. It wasn’t jarring, it simply needed to happen, so Dame Cartland made it happen.
Chapter three sees Tiana being highly insulted at the Earl’s proposal and storming out of the room, just like a teenager, without thinking through the consequences of her actions, ie, Castle Rose aint going nowhere except to the seller’s block without outside money. She accidentally meets the wastrel cousin and is instantly attracted to his youth, blond locks and deep blue eyes. Aye carumba.
I’ve noticed that teenagers tend to group adults into two groups. I vaguely recollect doing this myself too back in the day. There are the adults in their 20’s who are adults but you still feel comfortable with. Then there are the adults over 30 and they are just plain old. They are all the same and a homogenous group and it’s easier to ignore them and go about your own business of living your life. Dame Cartland obviously remembers this too and uses it, albeit as lightly as any other trope to amp up the drama.
Then the drama amps up again and I must say, I actually loved it! A developer, an EEEEEEEVIL developer shows up and he owns all the bills that Tiana’s parents never paid. Apparently, they were even worse than I initially thought. They not only spent all their money on the ruin of the castle, leaving their daughter destitute, but they also spent well beyond their means and left debts amounting to “a lot” (money from that time period means absolutely nothing to me, so whenever an amount is named and the form of currency, I just translate it as “a lot” or “a little” in my head). Said developer is described just how you’d expect an “evil greedy” developer to be described and he’s a complete ass. The chapter ends with the Earl threatening to toss him out when he refuses to leave at Tiana’s request. That’s how a man should act. Good for the Earl!
And thus ends this particular update for the first three chapters of Love Saves the Day by Dame Barbara Cartland. I have to admit, I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would (ie, not at all). Cartland’s writing, while formulaic and generic, gets the point across very well. There is no mistaking who is who, who is good, who is bad, who is supposed to end up with who. It is a comfort read I would say. I’m no longer dreading the rest of these updates 😀
