Violence of Action (Forgotten Ruin #3) ★★★☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Violence of Action
Series: Forgotten Ruin #3
Author: Jason Anspach & Nick Cole
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Military Fantasy
Pages: 249
Words: 85K

Hey, would you look at that? There’s an actual story in this book! AND. I only counted 2 instances of Anspach and Cole (the authors) rimming the rangers. Talk about a relief.

So the rangers have to take down Smog the evil green dragon who is in an alliance with other evil powers that menace the kingdom of men. They take him out and rescue a bunch of captive elves and find the King of the Elves, who Last of Autumn is betrothed to. So no more googly eyes for the narrator at his elven lady love. Awww, so sad. Honestly, I was expecting her to die a horrible death, so at least this way she stays alive. Hard core military types are married to the Service and a wife comes in a distant second. Very few relationships can survive that.

This was the kind of story I was waiting for since the very beginning. Special Forces setting themselves an objective and then killing everything that stands in the way of them accomplishing that objective. I am definitely going to keep reading the series now but I simply can’t recommend it to anyone else. The first 2 books just destroy any chance of that. I’ve never been in this situation before, where the first couple of books are absolutely terrible and then improve dramatically. Usually I’m done with a series before that point (or it never does improve, which is what usually ends up happening).

I also can’t recommend starting here because then you’d be lost. Why is the Ranger Captain a were-tiger? Who is Last of Autumn and why is it so shattering to the narrator that they rescue her betrothed? Who is this evil Vampire SEAL? All of the big points get covered, so in that regards you could start here, but all those little things like what I mention, well, good luck. I guess this is for super-hard-core Anspach & Cole fans OR super duper military types who like annoying narrators. I’m glad I stuck through to this point but it pretty much ate up all the goodwill A&C have built up with me. They don’t get any more chances from me.

After the main story is a small “prequel” story that starts to introduce why everything in the Ruin is so Dungeons and Dragons. Long and short, a crazy genius woman, whose only good memories were of a summer when she got to play some D&D with other normal kids, goes off the rails completely and uses nanotech to start changing the world. It was complete “scyenze” but it sounded cool and was good enough for me. And since this is pure fiction and not “A Message From They Who Know Better Than Poor Plebian Me” masquerading as a story, I have no problem with said scyenze being used.

★★★☆☆

• All My “Forgotten Ruin” Reviews

Cop Hater (87th Precinct) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Cop Hater
Series: 87^th Precinct
Author: Ed McBain
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 112
Words: 49K

During a steamy hot summer, the 87^th Precinct is plagued by a rash of cop killings. 3 cops are killed in as many weeks, with one of them being Detective Steve Carella’s partner. After running clues to the ground and coming up empty, Steve gets a lucky break, finds the killer and it’s revealed the whole thing happened to cover up a woman having her husband killed so she wouldn’t have to divorce him.

Talk about misdirection! I was impressed. I was flabbergasted too. I know that I’m almost 70 years removed from the time this was written (it was published in 1956) and that divorce was one of those “social” sins of the time AND that I’ve read/watched this scenario before but it still blows my mind that someone will commit murder and view it as a better option than divorce. It’s like blowing up the court house because you don’t want to pay your speeding fine.

This was a nice short story with McBain focusing on what went on and not trying to give me every single characters back story or explain the city in block by block detail. You simply don’t need that bloat, you just want it. And here, McBain kicks your teeth in, tells you to sit down, shut up and read the fething story! Ahhh, if only readers of today could appreciate this sparse way of telling a story. I don’t think it was THAT great of a story but simply not having any bloat or author ego or message to wade through made this very enjoyable.

The 87^th Precinct series is really long one (I currently have access to 40 of them and I’m pretty sure there’s more) so I have decided to add 4 or 5 and then take a break between those little mini rotations. Keep it fresh.

The other thing was the main character’s name, Steve Carella. All I could think of was Steve Carell and so I saw him in his “The Office” role and that made for some really funny mental pictures, as Steve Carella is a tough, no-nonsense detective like Starsky or Hutch.

★★★✬☆

Davy Back Fight (One Piece #33) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Davy Back Fight
Series: One Piece #33
Arc: Water Seven #2
Author: Eiichiro Oda
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 227
Words: 10K

Luffy and his Straw Hats run into another pirate gang and end up playing three rounds of Davy Back Fight. The winner of each round can pick a crew member from the loser’s crew and make them part of the winner’s crew. The captain of the other pirates ate the slow-slow fruit and can shoot slow-beams that make people hit by it slow down. Fights ensue and poor Chopper (the reindeer doctor) gets passed back and forth like a bag of peanuts. The final fight comes down to Luffy and Captain Foxy. It’s a boxing match between pirate captains who both have gum-gum powers. Of course the volume ends before a winner emerges.

I must say, this was just over the top silly and I loved it. Captain Foxy isn’t a psychopathic killer, but more of a bumbling ne’erdowell who cheats outrageously every chance he gets.

I also noticed the length. At 227 pages, it “felt” long compared to the single issue comics I have been reading for the last couple of months. I think 200 pages is pretty optimal, as I didn’t have this same feeling with Fullmetal Alchemist #1, which clocked in just under 190 pages. I guess I’ve lost my manga edge and it will take a little bit to sharpen me back up 😀

Now, I mentioned over the top silly and I think the following picture exemplifies that: (remember to read the panels from right to left)

Luffy is wearing an afro wig because Usopp tells him it will make his punches more powerful. That idea is played with for the rest of the fight and random pirates will ask “did the Afro make him more powerful?” in all seriousness. There were a couple of pages I was considering, but the above seemed to be the best one to get it all together in one page. And come on, how can you not laugh at at? Hahahahahahaaha 😀

★★★✬☆

• All My “One Piece” Reviews

Cat Magic ★★☆☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Cat Magic
Author: Whitley Strieber & Jonathan Barry
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Urban Fantasy
Pages: 353
Words: 134K

Ooooooh boy. * puffs out cheeks *

I’ve never read anything by Strieber before and wanted to give his writings a go. I knew he was horror’ish or real life aliens or something weird, so I thought I was prepared. I had no idea.

I saw the subtitle for this book on a later edition and it was “A Tale of Modern Witchcraft”. I really wish I had seen that before deciding to start with this book. I guess if I could sum up this book I’d go with “sexual orgies while children watch and the only sin is Guilt itself”. Ughhh. There was a lot of theological ideas put forth that I really had to disagree with. Not in an angry way but more in a “are you serious?” way.

While I have a bunch of Strieber’s books on tap, I think I’m going to try his Omega Point duology next. It’s about aliens somehow. If he puts forth more bad theology though, I’ll be done with him. I have no idea who this Barry fellow is or what part he played in writing the story. I wonder if he did the heavy lifting though.

Overall, this was not a good first impression and I certainly won’t be recommending Strieber even if his later books improve.

★★☆☆☆

Blue Elemental Blast - MTG 4th Edition

The Die Hard Book Tag

I’d like to thank Zezee for bringing this to my attention and to Pete for creating such an awesome tag.

John McClain – A book in which someone has a really bad time

Way-Farer. Jerome, the Main Character, an idealistic young man, has asked the Old Man on the Mountain to train him in the Way of the Sword. The Old Man does this by attacking Jerome every chance he gets, to force Jerome to develop his sixth sense for danger. One day Jerome senses danger as he is about to enter the cottage they share but instead of waiting, he decides to try to pay back the Old Man, with the result that the Old Man almost kills him with just a stone pot lid. Thankfully, things to get better for Jerome after that!

Holly Gennaro – A book with a superb leader

Erevis Cale. Probably my favorite Forgotten Realms character. He leads from the front and doesn’t shy away from doing what needs to be done. Like stabbing someone in the back 😉

Sergeant Al Powell – A book with a sidekick with a great backstory

Smikes, from Nicholas Nickleby. He’s not a “traditional” sidekick, like Robin is to Batman, but man, Smikes gets rescued by Nicholas and is his faithful servant until the end where he dies. If that’s a spoiler to you, well, you’re about 180 years behind schedule. So get with the beat, Baggy! And read yourself some Dickens. But I’ll save spoilering his backstory. There, you’re welcome.

Johnson & Johnson – A book with a pair of real dicks

The Lady and Soul Catcher from Glen Cook’s The Black Company. Each of these extremely powerful sorceresses encapsulate the idea of power corrupting to the uttermost.

Karl – A book with a revenge plot that needn’t have happened

Gankutsuou. A manga based on the anime of the same name, which in turn is based on the classic Count of Monte Cristo. The anime is amazing and I am glad I own it. But if even one of the people who turned Edmond into the authorities had actually told the truth, Edmond never would have been imprisoned and the whole Count of Monte Cristo would have never have happened.

Mr Takagi – A book with an interesting side character killed too early

Edwin Drood. While supposedly the “titular character”, getting bumped off right near the beginning of the book makes it too early for me. Thankfully, while the original story was never completed by Dickens due to the ungrateful sod dying first, David Madden stepped up to the plate and finished up the game for us.

Harry Ellis – A book with a character really out of their depth

Liath, from Kate Elliott’s Crown of Stars series. Unlike Ellis however, Liath know’s she’s out of her depth and does something about it during the series. She’s not a loser who dies like Ellis. But I gotta say, it was satisfying to see him die.

Richard Thornburg – A book with an infinitely punchable character

Yossarian from Catch-22. Ohhhh, I hated him so much!

Hans Gruber – A book with a fantastic villain

They just don’t make villains like ol’ Hans’y any more. And not many actors like Rickman either (sadly). But the closest character I could think of was Light Yagami from the manga series Death Note. An arrogant psychopathic genius who is eventually outwitted. Oh, it’s a good series! Just avoid the various movies, tv shows and especially the netflix movie adaptation. Go with the manga.

• All of my “Tag” posts

MTG: A Lot of Sol (Ring)!

A couple of years ago now, I wrote a post detailing my History of Magic, and in it I included the iconic card that is the face of magic to me, Sol Ring. I included a whole bunch of pictures of various versions as it has been re-released with new sets, as special editions and as promotional releases for special events. One such version was the Masterpiece Series: Kaladesh Inventions Foil version.

This particular masterpiece series was very limited and some cards in it went sky high in price while others stayed more reasonable ($40-80 being what I call reasonable). There were 54 cards in total and about 40 of them all stayed under the $200 mark. That’s actually pretty surprising. But those remaining 14 cards. The top card was one called Mana Crypt and it has been running around $950 on average at a place called TCG. So on a lark, I looked up the Sol Ring version, just to see if maybe I could pick one up for the sake of simply having a shiny.

Holy smokes! There were only 9 copies available that were under $1000! A typical magic card weighs about 0.06oz. So with the foiling, lets just go wild and say this particular Sol Ring weighs 0.1oz. For $1000. To put that in perspective, 0.1oz of gold is worth about $180 currently. Is that insane or what?!? We’re not talking about artistic treasures from history here folks. The Kaladesh Inventions cards were released in 2016.

A Sol Ring as pictured immediately above costs about $15. So I could buy about 60 (I’m giving myself leeway for shipping, jerks who don’t actually send near mind condition ones, etc) regular versions for my Sol Ring Collection OR I could buy 1 Super Duper Special Version that I’ll never play with, never use but simply put it behind plastic and let it sit there, knowing I own it. I’m not going to do either of those options, but it’s fun to think about. If I win the lottery some day, you know?

Just for the record, I bought that group of Sol Ring’s when the price was almost half of what it is now.

Universe 1 ★★☆☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Universe 1
Series: Universe Anthology #1
Author: Terry Carr (ed)
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 213
Words: 63K

Man, I had forgotten what utter balderdash was written by hippy wannabe’s in the 70’s for SF. Bunch of prententious wanktards thinking sex and psychology are enough to sell a story without having to actually write a good story. There’s a reason most of the authors in this collection are completely forgotten today and probably made zero impact back in their own time. What a bunch of losers. People like them are what gave SF a bad name.

And yet.

There are at least 14 volumes in this series. I’ve got some random ones and despite my trashing above, I’m going to give the editor, Terry Carr, one more chance. But after this book, each one has to impress me or I’m dnf’ing the series and consigning Mr Carr to the dust bins of forgotten history, where he already appears to be though if I’m being honest.

★★☆☆☆

Groo and the Tale of King Sage (Groo the Wanderer #13) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Groo and the Tale of King Sage
Series: Groo the Wanderer #13
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K

The Sage, introduced in Groo #7, becomes the King of a small but prosperous country. Groo stumbles across said country and asks to be made a general of the armies. For some reason, the Sage can’t say no to Groo and thus makes him a general. To mitigate Groo’s “groo’ness”, he sends him off to guard the northernmost pass of the country. Along the way, Groo makes everyone become a farmer and thus brings discontent to the whole country. The Sage is deposed and beats Groo about the head to show his displeasure.

This was an amusing little story. AND IT ONLY COST 75¢. In comparison, Bone #16 cost $3, four times as much. And Aragones gives us not only an amusing story with a start, a middle and an end, but it is also in color. Now maybe the paper material itself was pulp and Bone was high quality paper? But let me tell you, if I had $3 in 1986, well, really, I’d probably spent it at the dollar bin at Bradley’s (a now bankrupt and defunct department store) buying star wars figurines, BUT if I were to spend it on comics, I’d choose 4 months of Groo over one month of Bone every single time. Even right now, I would choose the same exact thing, ie, star wars figures, then if you forced me, Groo comics, hahahaha 😀

I am also finding the ads just as fun as the stories. In this comic, there is an ad for Captain America: The Broadway Musical. I kid you not. And here’s the proof:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/e315pnzbj189mpg/groo13.jpg

Now, that is even better than the ad for the Jetson’s I saw in the previous Groo comic! I did a google search and sure enough, Marvel did try to get Captain American onto the stage and they failed. I hope you all join me in thanks for that failure. Nobody needs to see Cap tippity tappitying around. It did make me wonder though, what kind of parent would just send in their kids info to some complete stranger they saw in a comic book? And what kind of little girl is reading Groo? Probably not one who sings and dances is my guess 🙂

★★★✬☆

• All of My “Groo the Wanderer” Reviews

A Requiem: Bookstooge, and Silent Smartfood Popcorn, Strike Back!

Near the beginning of October (my goodness, it feels like that was forever ago) I was Banned Again from the wordpress forums for infractions unknown. I of course did not let this deter me from haunting the forums and making smart remarks in my head about both the people asking for help and the supposed staff.

But I couldn’t have endured these cold, cruel months without my good friend and Food of the Gods, Silent Smartfood Popcorn.

Every weekend when my voice was silenced by the tyrannical powers of WordPress (boo! hiss!), Smartfood helped me to go on. He reminded me that he never had a voice to lose in the first place and that I was still his friend. He also had no artificial colors, artificial flavors or preservatives so he was good for me.

I just hope that someday each and every one of you can find a friend like Silent Smartfood Popcorn was to me. While it lasted, he was the best bag of popcorn a guy could want. So long Smartfood, you’ve left your mark on my life. You are not forgotten.
(and neither are your 10,000 cousins still in the grocery stores!)