[Journal] Amy Winehouse, Tears Dry or My Week XVI

 He walks away, the sun goes down
He takes the day but I am grown
And in your grey, in this cool shade
My tears dry on their own 

All I can ever be to you
Is the darkness we once knew
And this deep regret
I had to get accustomed to

This journal is one in honor of Amy Winehouse and based on her song “Tears Dry”. I included the lyrics just in case you couldn’t read them in the picture. That is the inside cover of the journal and is supposed to be a copy of the lyrics in Amy’s own hand writing. Talk about depressing.

But you know what? Sometimes the things we put in our journals ARE depressing. Life is not a bed of roses, and sometimes it feels like we’re forcing our way through nothing but thickets of thorns. So we write them down, exorcise them from our mind and continue on. And if we have to write them down every week, then so be it. There is healing in simply expressing yourself in a completely safe place.

My journals are my safe place.

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Well, another week come and almost gone. Started things off with a bang! Mrs B was driving to work at 530am when one of her tires blew out. She was fine, but it was a thumb size hole and we have zero idea what caused it. Got that taken care of by Monday evening. Then on Thursday the starter went, so you’d turn the key and you’d just hear “click, click, click” but the engine wouldn’t turn over. So back to the shop the car went. I haven’t gotten my Christmas bonus yet, but it’s pretty much gone already!

Made my first batch of chili for the season. My sister recommended I try Kinder’s Wood Fired chili seasoning. In years past I’ve used other brands and it always felt like something was lacking. Apparently what it was lacking was Kinder’s seasoning 🙂 It is the best chili I’ve made yet. Put it over some jasmine rice and you’ve got yourself one delicious meal. Or in my case, about 8-10 delicious meals, hahahahaa.

With the weather finally getting colder, the days being shorter and Thanksgiving right around the corner, food has been on my radar quite a bit. I bought some corned beef hash and sliced red beets so I can make Red Flannel Hash on a less than busy weekend. I used to love that stuff when I was in my 20’s, so I want to see if my tastebuds have changed.

Neuromancer has absolutely destroyed my desire to read novels. I have been coming home from work and watching tv. It has made me feel disgusted with myself, dirty and dumb. I know I am harping about that book, but you have to understand, reading is what I do. This is like not being able to run after having been a marathoner my whole life. I read. I enjoy reading. I blog about reading. And this month I am barely reading. And I’m watching tv instead!!!! It’s like eating dog food. I will get over this and I will get better, I just don’t know how long it will take and I am not enjoying the process.

Thankfully, last night was also Date Night with Mrs B. Each month we go out to a local or semi-local restaurant (local for me is in town, semi-local is 30min away) and eat and chat and catch each other up on the things that matter most to us at the moment. Something about it is different than just chatting on the couch at home. I look forward to it immensely. Mrs B does too, but more for the food 😉 We went italian this month and I got the Chicken Alfredo with egg fresh fettuccini. I’m usually a fan of angel hair pasta (the thinner the better!) but I just wanted something different and it was a smashing success. The portions are HUGE too, so I never bother to get an appetizer and I still usually take leftovers home. The picture doesn’t do it justice, because that looks like a normal or small amount. I was only able to eat half of that, that’s how much there was.

My goodness, there was a lot of food in this post wasn’t there? I hope your happy, because now I weigh about 500 pounds (227 kilograms or 36 stones) and if you make fun of me, I’ll just waddle on over to your blog and smoosh you flat!