Iron Star - MTG 4E

 

Red was always about doing damage, even if it meant doing damage to yourself in the process. So any card that was "life gain" (ie, it gave you life) was a big deal. With this being an artifact, it meant that a red deck could run it without any hiccups. When a game comes down to a single lifepoint, having a card like this can keep you from being pushed over the cliff of defeat.

And as we all know, winning is everything. Forget about having fun or hanging out with your friends. You WIN or you lose, that is all there is ;-)

The Fifth Element (1997 Movie)

 

Synopsis from Wikipedia

In 1914, aliens known as Mondoshawans meet their contact on Earth, a priest of a secret order, at an ancient Egyptian temple. They take the only weapon capable of defeating a great evil that appears every 5000 years, promising to protect it and return it before the great evil's re-emergence. The weapon consists of the four classical elements, as four engraved stones, plus a sarcophagus containing a "fifth element".

In the 23rd century,^[b] the great evil appears in deep space as a giant living fireball. It destroys an armed Earth spaceship as it heads to Earth. The Mondoshawans' current human contact on Earth, priest Vito Cornelius, informs the president of the Federated Territories of the great evil's history and the weapon that can stop it.

On their way to Earth, a Mondoshawan spacecraft carrying the weapon is ambushed and destroyed by a crew of Mangalores, alien mercenaries hired by Earth industrialist Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg, who is working for the great evil. A severed hand in metal armor from the wreckage of the spacecraft is brought to New York City. From this, the government uses biotechnology to recreate the original occupant of the sarcophagus, a humanoid woman named Leeloo, who remembers her previous life. Alarmed by the unfamiliar surroundings and high security, she escapes and jumps off a ledge, crashing into the flying taxicab of Korben Dallas, a former major in Earth's special forces.

Dallas delivers Leeloo to Cornelius and his apprentice, David, who recognizes her as the fifth element. As Leeloo recuperates, she tells Cornelius that the stones were not on board the Mondoshawan ship. Simultaneously, the Mondoshawans inform Earth's government that the stones were entrusted to an alien opera singer, the diva Plavalaguna. Zorg reneges on his deal with the Mangalores for failing to obtain the stones, and kills some of them. Earth's military sends Dallas to meet Plavalaguna; a rigged radio contest provides a cover, awarding Dallas a luxury vacation aboard a flying hotel on planet Fhloston, accompanied by flamboyant talk-show host Ruby Rhod. It includes a concert by Plavalaguna, and learning that Leeloo shares his mission, Dallas lets her accompany him. Cornelius instructs David to prepare the temple, then stows away on the luxury spaceship. The Mangalore crew, pursuing the stones for themselves, also illegally board the ship.

During the concert, the Mangalores attack, and Plavalaguna is killed. Dallas extracts the stones from her body and kills the Mangalore leader, causing the others to surrender. Zorg arrives, shoots Leeloo, and activates a time bomb. He flees with a carrying case he presumes contains the stones, but returns when he discovers it is empty. As Zorg's bomb causes the hotel's evacuation, Dallas finds Leeloo traumatized and escapes with her, Cornelius, Rhod, and the stones in Zorg's private spaceship. Zorg deactivates his bomb, but a dying Mangalore sets off his own, destroying the hotel and killing Zorg.

As the great evil approaches Earth, the four meet David at the temple. They deploy the stones, but Leeloo, having learned of humanity's history of cruelty, has given up on life. Dallas declares his love for her and kisses her. Leeloo combines the power of the stones, emitting divine light onto the great evil and defeating it. Dallas and Leeloo are hailed as heroes, and as dignitaries wait to greet them, the two passionately embrace in a recovery chamber.

This is one of the movies that I have watched over and over again. I hadn't seen it before a coworker recommended it in the mid-2000's to me and when I saw the cover to the dvd and it had a blond Bruce Willis on it. I was hooked.

I hesitate to call this a hokey movie, but it is really bordering on that. I don't mind, but others might not be able to get past that veneer and enjoy this. From the get-go with the aliens and the archeologist and the priest, there was something that was just a bit off about this. I've come to realize that it is this movie not taking itself seriously at all.

I recently bought this in blu ray, hence the cover above and was hoping for some commentary tracks. Sadly, the extras on the blu ray were pretty sparse and limited to showing some interviews with the various actors and giving a little bit of the history of how the movie was made. But no directors commentary or actors commentary. I guess it isn't a big enough hit to pay for that kind of thing. That's too bad, because I think it would have been fascinating to get some thoughts on what was going on.

Chris Tucker plays a side kick and man, the first time I saw this I hated his character. He was a pompadour sporting effeminate macho man who did a girly high scream a lot. It was a bunch of diametrically opposed ideas all coming together into one character. Tucker manages to pull it off too, which is incredible.

Willis is his usual special space forces tough guy. He did an admirable job of it too. Sadly, playing across from Jovovich, well, the chemistry wasn't there. She's supposed to be this super warrior yet lovely and vulnerable woman and while he says all the correct words, the chemistry just wasn't there. Jovovich does a great job too. She speaks a whole new language, kicks butt and falls in love with Willis and because of the power of love, saves the universe from The Bad Thing. She was fantastic as the warrior, and it was a precursor to show what she was capable of in just a few years when she dominated with the Resident Evil movies. But as a "perfect woman", well, I just wasn't feeling it. I wish they had chosen someone else. Considering that the director, Luc Besson, started an affair with Jovovich during the film, well....

The Bad Thing is the destruction of the Universe but it really doesn't play much of a part. It plays just enough to kick our characters along, but never felt like a direct threat. THAT villainous part was played by Gary Oldman, as Zorg, some sort of ultra-rich guy who sold out to The Bad Thing. He's the face of villainy in this movie and my goodness, I loved every second of his over the top silliness. It's hard to take him seriously and then bam, he pushes a button and tons of people just die and I'm like "oh yeah, he's the bad guy". He gets his just desserts and it is glorious :-D

Now that I own this on disc I feel like I'll not watch it again for who knows how long. That seems to happen to me. Once I own something, I lose desire to view it. But if I DO feel like watching it, now I can without having to jump through hoops of finding it on a streaming service :-/

While I thoroughly enjoy this movie, I don't know if I actually recommend it. If you're a big Bruce Willis or Milla Jovovitch fan or a fan of the slightly hokey, then I would recommend it to you. Otherwise, I'm ambivalent. 

Blood Standard (Isaiah Coleridge #1) 3Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Blood Standard
Series: Isaiah Coleridge #1
Author: Laird Barron
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Thriller
Pages: 288
Words: 81K
Publish: 2018

I enjoyed this anti-hero badguy makes good, well, not so bad anyway. Nothing particularly stood out good or bad, which is why it is getting that middle of the road rating of 3stars. It’s good enough that I plan on reading the rest of the trilogy.

But unless those two books improve my opinion dramatically, I do not plan on seeking out any other work by the author. I probably shouldn’t base any future plans on this book alone. But really, outside of the main character being big and beating up even worse people than himself, there’s not much else to discuss. So my brain goes down these weird little paths, and since I’m an inveterate planner, it usually goes down a planning path. Even if there isn’t enough data to do any actual planning on. Therefore, my NEW plan is to finish this trilogy and reserve judgment.

Hahhaahahahahahahaa, riiiiiight, ME, reserving judgment. My goodness, sometimes I just crack myself up.

★★★☆☆

From the Publisher and Bookstooge

Isaiah Coleridge is a mob enforcer in Alaska--he's tough, seen a lot, and dished out more. But when he forcibly ends the moneymaking scheme of a made man, he gets in the kind of trouble that can lead to a bullet behind the ear. Saved by the grace of his boss and exiled to upstate New York, Isaiah begins a new life, a quiet life without gunshots or explosions. Except a teenage girl disappears, and Isaiah isn't one to let that slip by. And delving into the underworld to track this missing girl will get him exactly the kind of notice he was warned to avoid.

After beating up lots of people and threatening lots of people and getting almost killed by crooked cops, Isaiah founds her corpse. Her horse had thrown her in the woods and she’d died from hitting her head. No big mystery at all. Isaiah just wasted all that time and energy for nothing. So much for laying low.

Pumpkin Festival 2025

 Now, before we begin, we have to set the scene and the mood. So imagine your life is going along quite normally, as it always does. You have pizza on Tuesday, maybe a kale shake on Friday. Then, the invasion begins. Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, everywhere you sniff, there is Pumpkin Spice! Including biscuits, sigh. Mrs B wanted to try these, so she bought them. They are basically cinnamon rolls that you drizzle pumpkin spice "frosting" on after they are cooked.

Now they did taste good, but still, Grands biscuits are supposed to be BISCUITS. So now we are in the proper frame of mind, let us continue the journey of a small town, celebrating harmlessly, or so they think!

First, and always most importantly, is the food. Without the food, the Pumpkin Festival is just a bunch of people walking around looking at stuff. But WITH food, well, that completely changes everything, now doesn't it? Food is like the Force.

“... my ally is the Food, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Hungry beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Food around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere...” 
~ Master Chef Yoda

Our first stop is always food alley. We get there around 4:30pm, before things kick off at 5pm. The food trucks are all open but not many people have arrived yet so there are no lines. I got a pepperoni calzone and Mrs B got some sort of breakfast sandwich with avocado. Then because I knew that a calzone wasn't very healthy, I decided to eat my vegetables and have a slice of pumpkin roll. Ahhh, that's the stuff.

Then it was time to visit the Venerable Town Hall. This majestic and gracious building towers over all its denizens, assuring them that the reins of government are in capable hands. Capable enough to run a Pumpkin Festival anyway. But that is all "I" will vouch for.

Next comes the annual perambulation around the Oval. There are many vendors and lots of people and you just never know WHAT you might see. Jack Skellington welcoming one and all. An anorexic cop! And to top things off, a pig on a leash. I kid you not. How can you not love small towns where you can see a pig on a leash in the town oval?
*clap
*clap
*clap

As you make your way around the Oval, not only are there "things" to see, but artwork on windows galore. Motorcycles seem to be a big theme this year. These were done on storefront windows, to give you some size comparison.

Finally, as the sun sets and the dark chill night sets in, when the lights go out and you wonder, "will I die in the next 5 seconds from a homicidal maniac slicing my head off with a razor blade?", THAT is when our Citizen of the Year appears, bringing light and hope to all who see them. They climb the firetruck to the top of the Venerable Town Hall and ceremonially light the giant pumpkin inside, and thus our small town is safe for another year from the hordes of massholes who try to invade us every chance they get.

This event has become a habit for Mrs B and I. We go, we eat, we look and buy, we laugh and we scream and holler to encourage the Citizen of the Year. Then we go home and go to bed, because we're older and tireder than the previous year :-D

Lavondyss / DNF (Mythago Wood #2) 2Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Lavondyss / DNF
Series: Mythago Wood #2
Author: Robert Holdstock
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 200/325
Words: 84K/137K
Publish: 1988

I wasn’t particularly enjoying this read but wasn’t really hating it either, so I guess I was coasting along, being lazy.

Then one of the characters says to another something along the lines of “Now you’re just talking nonsense” and it suddenly hit me, this entire book is nonsense and the WHOLE idea by Holdstock is nonsense and so I just stopped reading without further ado.

I was wasting my time on utter nonsense and when I realized that, I stopped. Not as good as not starting the nonsense in the first place, but much better than continuing it to the end and allowing it to infest my mind, even if negatively. I’m also giving this book the “garbage” tag because it’s not fun nonsense :-(

The cover is awesome however. I would have picked this book up based on it alone. It’s a real shame such garbage is hiding inside.

★★☆☆☆

From Wikipedia

During her formative years, Tallis encounters the British composer Ralph Vaughan Williams (not a mythago, but real flesh and blood). Tallis sings him a song that she thinks she has made up herself, but the composer identifies its tune as that of a folk song he has collected personally in Norfolk. Slowly Tallis's links with the wood intensify. She makes ten chthonic wooden masks, each of which represents one of the ten first legends in Ryhope wood. Within the context of the story, these masks are talismans that help to engage certain parts of her subconscious and so link her with the characters and landscapes which are forming within the wood. When properly used (especially later in the book), these masks allow Tallis to see things that cannot be seen without them, and they can also be used to create 'Hollowings' — pathways in space and time which allow her to step into far-off places within the wood which would otherwise take days, weeks, or even months to travel to on foot. Tallis makes the masks in the following order:

1. The Hollower — made from elm, this female mask is painted red and white.

2. Gaberlungi — made from oak and painted white, this mask is known as "memory of the land".

3. Skogen — made from hazel and painted green, this mask is known as "shadow of the forest".

4. Lament — made from willow bark, this simple mask is painted gray.

5. Falkenna — the first of three journey masks is painted like a hawk; this mask is known as "the flight of a bird into an unknown region".

6. Silvering — the second of three journey masks is painted in colored circles; this mask is known as "the movement of a salmon into the rivers of an unknown region". The Silvering is also the name of a short story included in Merlin's Wood.

7. Cunhaval — the third of three journey masks is made from elder wood; this mask is known as "the running of a hunting dog through the forest tracks of an unknown region".

8. Moondream — made from beechwood, this mask is painted with moon symbols on its face. This mask plays a prominent role in The Hollowing.

9. Sinisalo — made from wych elm and painted white and azure, this mask is known as "seeing the child in the land".

10. Morndun — this mask appears dead from the front, but alive from behind and is known as "the first journey of a ghost into an unknown region".

Before setting foot in the wood, Tallis has one particular encounter that has major repercussions through the rest of the story: with the 'help' of one of the mythagos, she 'hollows' (creates a Hollowing) and observes Scathach, a young warrior, dying on a battlefield beneath a tree. Tallis' misdirected magic used to help this young warrior changes both her story and Harry Keeton's story in Ryhope wood.

Deep within Ryhope wood Tallis eventually meets up with Edward Wynne-Jones (human, not mythago) who was only mentioned in Mythago Wood. He is now living in the wood as a shaman to a small village of ancient people. Through his understanding of the wood (which he studied with the scientist George Huxley from the first book), Tallis herself gains an understanding of her connections with all that surrounds her; most importantly, she asks him how she might find her lost brother Harry Keeton

Jane Austen: Catharine 2.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Catharine
Series: ----------
Author: Jane Austen
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Romance
Pages: 62
Words: 17K
Publish: 1793

This is another unfinished novel that Austen began as a younger person and thus it is classed with her juvenilia works.

I didn’t hate it despite the lower rating, but the main reason it is getting this lower rating is because the characters just didn’t feel like characters that Jane Austen would create later in her life. Some of the “ideas” were there, just like the names of familiar characters were in A Collection of Letters, but the heart and soul were totally absent. That made this hard to power through.

I do not regret reading these bits and bobs, because I am a fan of Austen’s and I am also a completionist. But I can’t say that I am having a wonderful time. It’s almost like being back in school again, sigh.

★★✬☆☆

From Wikipedia

Catharine (Kitty) Percival (the name is sometimes given as Peterson) is an orphan, ward of her aunt, Mrs. Percival, who is strict with her. Kitty has lost her dear friends, Cecilia and Mary Wynne, whose clergyman father's death scattered the family; Cecilia Wynne was sent to India to be married to a much older man she dislikes, and Mary is serving as a companion in the household of a distant relative, Lady Halifax, dependent on that family for even the clothes on her back. Together Kitty, Cecilia, and Mary had planted a bower in Mrs. Percival’s garden, which, now grown to maturity, is Kitty’s haven and chief comfort.

Mrs. Percival goes to great lengths to prevent Kitty from meeting possibly unsuitable young men. Kitty is allowed to socialize only with Mr. and Mrs. Dudley and their daughter, an arrogant and quarrelsome family. Mrs. Percival even refuses visits from the Stanleys, relatives of Mrs. Percival and Catharine, who are a wealthy family with political and social influence, because they have a son, Edward, of marriageable age.

However, Edward has now moved to France, and the Stanleys come to visit. Kitty excitedly anticipates their arrival. She is disappointed to find that their daughter, Camilla, has little in common with her. While Camilla's "ideas where towards the Eleagance of the appearance", she seemed to be "devoid of taste or judgment" (p. 169). Camilla "professed a love of books without reading, was lively without wit, and generally good humoured without merit" (p. 169). Kitty wants to discuss things like books and politics, but Camilla leads the conversation back to subjects Kitty views as frivolous, such as fashion and social life. Camilla is acquainted with the Halifaxes, and she and Kitty disagree over the Halifaxes and the Wynne sisters. Camilla thinks that the sisters are fortunate, while Kitty views their situation as tragic and thinks that the Wynnes have been ill-treated by their benefactors.

Kitty concludes that she and Camilla will not come to an agreement, and escapes to her bower. Camilla later comes to the bower, excited, to tell Kitty that they have all been invited to the Dudleys’ ball the next evening. In the morning, Kitty wakes up with a violent toothache that prevents her from attending the ball. Camilla, her parents, and Mrs. Percival decide to attend the ball without her.

Mrs. Stanley and Mrs. Percival discuss the friendship between Camilla and Kitty. Mrs. Percival see their relationship as detrimental and tells Mrs. Stanley that she, herself, did not have such a companion. Mrs. Percival quips that perhaps it would have changed her for the better, and talks about the friend of her own girlhood, with whom she still keeps acquaintance.

Edward Stanley turns up at the Percivals’ home, having returned to England unexpectedly, and convinces Kitty to go with him to the ball after all. Mrs. Percival is not pleased. In the following days, Edward flirts with Kitty, and it becomes apparent that he has much more in common with her than Camilla does. He makes a point of kissing her hand when Mrs. Percival is approaching and can witness it. Kitty begins to fall in love with Edward. Her aunt doesn't approve of him and chastises Kitty for scandalous behavior.

Mr. Stanley is also displeased by Edward’s flirting with Kitty, and sends him back to the Continent. Kitty is hurt by his abrupt departure, but Camilla tells her that he was sorry to leave, obviously because he is in love with Kitty. Kitty is in a "state of satisfaction."

The book was never completed, so we do not know where the story would have gone next.

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The Tombs of Atuan (Earthsea Cycle #2) 5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Tombs of Atuan
Series: Earthsea Cycle #2
Author: Ursula LeGuin
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy / Middle Grade
Pages: 117
Words: 46K
Publish: 1971

Another wonderful coming of age story that is so different from A Wizard of Earthsea and yet tells a story that I love.

Most of the time, when an author tells a completely different tale in a series, I have issues with it. I usually want more of the same, more of the familiar, more of what I enjoyed in the previous book. Thankfully, LeGuin’s skill is such that she can change everything and yet keep the essentials that I loved and thus make me love this new creation.

The characters, the land and the perspective have all changed but what didn’t change was the style. We still get the world building with just a few brief sentences. Whole histories are conveyed in less than a paragraph. Peoples’ characters fleshed out with the perfectly chosen word. Simplicity is still LeGuin’s choice here and it continues to work very well. While the story appears to be about Tennar the young girl, it is just as much about the Ring of Erreth Akbe, which when the broken pieces are found and united, will bring peace to the land. It takes real skill to be able to tell both stories at the same time without one overshadowing the other.

I am also very happy that Tennar’s story ends on a happy note. She has left everything behind her, going to a new land, to a people she doesn’t know, with a man who has told her he can’t stay with her, but she will be given protection and teaching by Ogion the wizard and have wealth should she want it. The blackness of LeGuin’s soul hadn’t yet destroyed everything good…

I was hoping to showcase the cover for the first edition, which was another woodcut style drawing, but sadly, every version I could find had this huge “Award” on it, since it won several childrens’ awards. So I’m choosing to go with the Bantam Spectra cover from the mid 80’s. This was the copy my local library had I believe. I’m going to include the covers for each book because I want a complete collection and I have zero idea what I’ll showcase for the next book’s cover.

★★★★★

From Wikipedia

The story follows a girl named Tenar, born on the Kargish island of Atuan. Born on the day that the high priestess of the Tombs of Atuan died, she is believed to be her reincarnation. Tenar is taken from her family when she was five years old and goes to the Tombs.[14] Her name is taken from her in a ceremony, and she is referred to as "Arha", or the "eaten one",[24] after being consecrated to the service of the "Nameless Ones" at the age of six with a ceremony involving a symbolic sacrifice.[28] She moves into her own tiny house, and is given a eunuch servant, Manan, with whom she develops a bond of affection.

Arha's childhood and youth are lonely; her only friends are Manan and Penthe, a priestess her own age. She is trained in her duties by Thar and Kossil, the priestesses of the two other major deities. Thar tells her of the undertomb and the labyrinth beneath the Tombs, teaching her how to find her way around them. She tells of the treasure hidden within the labyrinth, which wizards from the archipelago have tried to steal. When Arha asks about the wizards, Thar tells her that they are unbelievers who can work magic. When she turns fourteen, Arha assumes all the responsibilities of her position, becoming the highest ranked priestess in the Tombs. She is required to order the death of prisoners sent to the Tombs by the God-King of the Kargad lands; she has them killed by starvation, an act which haunts her for a long time. After Thar dies of old age, Arha becomes increasingly isolated: although stern, Thar had been fair to her. Kossil despises Arha and sees the Nameless Ones as a threat to her power.

Arha's routine is disrupted by her discovery of the wizard Ged (the protagonist of A Wizard of Earthsea) in the undertomb. She traps him in the labyrinth by slamming the door on him, and through a peephole sees him unsuccessfully attempt to open the door with a spell.[29] Trapped in the labyrinth, Ged eventually collapses out of exhaustion, and Arha has him chained up while debating what to do with him. After questioning him, she learns that he has come to the Tombs for the long-lost half of the ring of Erreth-Akbe, a magical talisman broken centuries before, necessary for peace in Earthsea.[14] The other half had come into his possession by pure chance, and a dragon later told him what it was. Arha is drawn to him as he tells her of the outside world, and keeps him prisoner in the tombs, bringing him food and water.[30] However, Kossil learns of Ged's existence, forcing Arha to promise that Ged will be sacrificed to the Nameless Ones; however, she realizes that she cannot go through with it. She instructs Manan to dig a false grave underground, while she herself takes Ged to hide in the treasury of the Tombs.

Arha and Kossil have a public falling out, in which Kossil says that nobody believes in the Nameless Ones anymore. In response, Arha curses her in the name of the Nameless Ones. Realizing that Kossil will now be determined to kill her, she heads to the labyrinth and sees Kossil uncovering the false grave. Evading her, Arha goes to the treasury and confesses everything to Ged, who has found the other half of Erreth-Akbe's ring in the treasury. He tells Arha that she must either kill him or escape with him, and says that the Nameless Ones demand her service, but give nothing and create nothing in return. He tells her his true name, Ged, in return for the trust she has shown him. They escape together, though Manan, who has come looking for Arha, falls into a pit in the labyrinth and is killed when he attempts to attack Ged. The tombs begin to collapse in on themselves; Ged holds them off until they leave. Arha reverts to calling herself Tenar as she and Ged travel to the coast where his boat is hidden. While waiting for the tide, she feels an urge to kill Ged for destroying her life, but realizes while gazing at him that she has no anger left. Ged and Tenar sail to Havnor, where they are received in triumph.