Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road

Thursday, October 16, 2025

Reaper Man (Discworld #11) 3.5Stars

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Title: Reaper Man
Series: Discworld #11
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 204
Words: 79K

Pratchett writes some really funny and light stuff, about serious subjects. I was ok with that 20 years ago, but now, not so much. Mainly because I vehemently disagree with Pratchett’s starting point, his foundation as it were. So everything built up on that is more and more off. Ideas might take a long time (ie, multi-generational) to foment, but they do affect us, no matter how small and those changes affect how we raise the next generation. And the more I read of Pratchett, the more I am convinced he knew this, that Ideas Are Powerful, and wasn’t just writing for the fun of it.

So if you don’t think about Eternity, or some of the Big Questions, you’ll have a blast like I did 20 years ago. If you do take this seriously, you’ll still enjoy the story and find some really funny bits but it will be like eating creampuff when you already know you’re overweight and at risk for a heart attack.

And on THAT cheery note, I’m wrapping this up. Because I have a feeling my reviews of Pratchett are going to go along these lines unless I can find some way to turn off my inner philosophical voice. Not sure that is possible though.

★★★✬☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

The Auditors of Reality watch the Discworld to ensure everything obeys The Rules. As Death starts developing a personality the Auditors feel that he does not perform his Duty in the right way. They send him to live like everyone else. Travelling to the Octarine Grass Country, he assumes the name "Bill Door" and he works as a farm hand for the elderly Miss Flitworth. She is a spinster whose fiancé, Rufus, died on a last smuggling expedition many years ago. There are rumours that he had had second thoughts about their marriage but she does not believe them.

While every other species creates a new Death for themselves, humans need more time for their Death to be completed. As a result, the life force of dead humans starts to build up; this results in poltergeist activity, ghosts, and other paranormal phenomena. Most notable is the return of the recently deceased wizard Windle Poons, who was really looking forward to reincarnation. After several misadventures, including being accosted by his oldest friends, he finds himself attending the Fresh Start club, an undead-rights group led by Reg Shoe. The Fresh Start club and the wizards of Unseen University discover that the city of Ankh-Morpork is being invaded by a parasitic lifeform that feeds on cities and hatches from eggs that resemble snow globes. Tracking its middle form, shopping trolleys, the Fresh Start club and the wizards invade and destroy the third form, a shopping mall.

When humankind finally thinks of a New Death, one with a crown and without any humanity or human face, it comes to take Bill Door. Death/Door, having planned for this moment for some time, outwits and destroys it. Having defeated the New Death, Death absorbs the other Deaths back into him, with the exception of the Death of Rats (and ultimately, the Death of Fleas). Death confronts Azrael, the Death of the Universe, and states that the Deaths have to care or they do not exist and there is nothing but Oblivion, which must also end some time.

Death asks for and receives some time. He meets up with Miss Flitworth again and offers her unlimited dreams. She asks to go to the local Harvest Dance. They prepare and join the townspeople for a full night of dancing.

As the sun is coming up, Miss Flitworth realizes she had died hours before the dance even started. Death escorts her through back history to her old fiancé: as she had believed, he had died in an accident and not been unfaithful. The young couple enter the afterlife together.

Returning to the city of Ankh-Morpork, Death meets up with Windle Poons, finally taking him to his afterlife. At the end there is also a discussion between Death and the Death of Rats over what the Death of Rats should "ride", Death suggests a dog while the Death of Rats suggests a cat.

Wednesday, October 15, 2025

The List (Slough House #2.5) 3Stars

Title: The List
Series: Slough House #2.5
Author: Mick Herron
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Thriller
Pages: 44
Words: 17K
Publish: 2015

This was a nice little novella about some lazy guy in MI5 getting played. We know the stakes aren’t big (no 9/11 circumstances like in the previous book) but this is a good view into the “games” that go on. Definitely not a work environment I’d ever want to be in. I’d end up shooting people when I found out I’d been manipulated and lied to just because my boss thought it would be fun.

There was enough separation from the character though that I didn’t get upset at what was going on. It also helps that most of the main characters in these Slough House stories ARE screwups in one way or another and I feel they deserve what they get coming to them. John Bachelor’s job was to go around and make sure these cold war era spies were being taken care of, even if they were not living the high life. And he couldn’t even be bothered to do that, which is why everything happens in this story. He’s a lazy bum and I didn’t feel bad at all about him reaping the consequences. I do have to say that the author does a fantastic job of walking that line of describing characters in such a way that I don’t want to kill them myself but I also don’t mind if they fail. That’s a real tightrope and so far, Herron has walked it without a hitch.

★★★☆☆

From the Publisher & Bookstooge

Dieter Hess, an aged spy, is dead, and John Bachelor, his MI5 handler, is in deep, deep trouble. Death has revealed that deceased had been keeping a secret second bank account—and there’s only ever one reason a spy has a secret second bank account. The question of whether he was a double agent must be resolved, and its answer may undo an entire career’s worth of spy secrets.

The List refers to a list of people that Hess had on hand. He was convincing the German spy agency that the people on this list were potential material and they were paying him to keep tabs on them. Only, every person on the list but one was in no condition to even be talking, much less spying. Bachelor tracks down the one viable candidate and convinces her to be a spy for England while pretending to be a spy for the Germans. And at the end of the novella we find out she was originally working for the Germans the entire time. So Bachelor is now paying a German spy and hired her into the English Intelligence Agency.

Tuesday, October 14, 2025

Conan and the Mists of Doom (Conan the Barbarian #34) 1.5Stars

Title: Conan and the Mists of Doom
Series: Conan the Barbarian #34
Author: Roland Green
Rating: 1.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 184
Words: 71K
Publish: 1995

This was one of the worst Conan stories I’ve read so far, and I’ve read some real stinkers. It was an accumulated weight of misery that built up over time and I just couldn’t take it any more. When I finished this book, I swore off of these pastiches. Not necessarily for good, but at least until I go and read ALL the original Conan stuff by Howard.

This was a garbage story and the writing was that of a hack. It felt very much like Green had written his own “adventure” story and when it wouldn’t sell (because it was so boring and dumb and stupid), repurposed it into a Conan story. This wasn’t just “not good”, but it was “bad”. I shouldn’t feel like I’m reading some highschooler’s “story” when I’m reading a Conan novel. I need the skill and talent in the writing that makes me feel that sizzle, that zing as the sword chops through the monster. Just describing the action isn’t writing the action and I’m afraid this writer doesn’t have the skill to do that.

Blehhhhhh...

★✬☆☆☆

From Wikipedia

The story is set in the Kezankian Mountains and the borderlands of Turan. After Conan's time spent with the Afghulis begins to sour, he leads a band of tribesmen away from the Afghuli mountains and towards Koth. During their journey, the tribesmen are intercepted by a force of Turanian cavalry, led by Khezal, an old acquaintance of Conan's.[2] Khezal offers Conan and his warriors freedom if they help combat the Mist of Doom, a life-draining force that is attacking Khezal's territory near the mountains. Unbeknownst to ether Conan or Khezal, the Mist is controlled by the Lady of the Mists, who is gathering captives to feed to the Mist, in hopes of controlling it.

The Afghulis and Turanians meet up with a third group of desert nomads, the Ekinari, led by Bethina, an attractive young warrior woman. The three groups combine forces in an effort to defeat the Mist before it grows out of control. In the climactic battle, the Lady of the Mist is killed, but not before she can summon an elemental. The two magical forces collide, destroying the valley and each other. Conan's chief advisor, Farad, and Bethina stay in the valley to repopulate it while Conan rides on into Koth.

Monday, October 13, 2025

Iron Star - MTG 4E

Red was always about doing damage, even if it meant doing damage to yourself in the process. So any card that was "life gain" (ie, it gave you life) was a big deal. With this being an artifact, it meant that a red deck could run it without any hiccups. When a game comes down to a single lifepoint, having a card like this can keep you from being pushed over the cliff of defeat.

And as we all know, winning is everything. Forget about having fun or hanging out with your friends. You WIN or you lose, that is all there is ;-)

Sunday, October 12, 2025

The Fifth Element (1997 Movie)

Synopsis from Wikipedia

In 1914, aliens known as Mondoshawans meet their contact on Earth, a priest of a secret order, at an ancient Egyptian temple. They take the only weapon capable of defeating a great evil that appears every 5000 years, promising to protect it and return it before the great evil's re-emergence. The weapon consists of the four classical elements, as four engraved stones, plus a sarcophagus containing a "fifth element".

In the 23rd century,^[b] the great evil appears in deep space as a giant living fireball. It destroys an armed Earth spaceship as it heads to Earth. The Mondoshawans' current human contact on Earth, priest Vito Cornelius, informs the president of the Federated Territories of the great evil's history and the weapon that can stop it.

On their way to Earth, a Mondoshawan spacecraft carrying the weapon is ambushed and destroyed by a crew of Mangalores, alien mercenaries hired by Earth industrialist Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg, who is working for the great evil. A severed hand in metal armor from the wreckage of the spacecraft is brought to New York City. From this, the government uses biotechnology to recreate the original occupant of the sarcophagus, a humanoid woman named Leeloo, who remembers her previous life. Alarmed by the unfamiliar surroundings and high security, she escapes and jumps off a ledge, crashing into the flying taxicab of Korben Dallas, a former major in Earth's special forces.

Dallas delivers Leeloo to Cornelius and his apprentice, David, who recognizes her as the fifth element. As Leeloo recuperates, she tells Cornelius that the stones were not on board the Mondoshawan ship. Simultaneously, the Mondoshawans inform Earth's government that the stones were entrusted to an alien opera singer, the diva Plavalaguna. Zorg reneges on his deal with the Mangalores for failing to obtain the stones, and kills some of them. Earth's military sends Dallas to meet Plavalaguna; a rigged radio contest provides a cover, awarding Dallas a luxury vacation aboard a flying hotel on planet Fhloston, accompanied by flamboyant talk-show host Ruby Rhod. It includes a concert by Plavalaguna, and learning that Leeloo shares his mission, Dallas lets her accompany him. Cornelius instructs David to prepare the temple, then stows away on the luxury spaceship. The Mangalore crew, pursuing the stones for themselves, also illegally board the ship.

During the concert, the Mangalores attack, and Plavalaguna is killed. Dallas extracts the stones from her body and kills the Mangalore leader, causing the others to surrender. Zorg arrives, shoots Leeloo, and activates a time bomb. He flees with a carrying case he presumes contains the stones, but returns when he discovers it is empty. As Zorg's bomb causes the hotel's evacuation, Dallas finds Leeloo traumatized and escapes with her, Cornelius, Rhod, and the stones in Zorg's private spaceship. Zorg deactivates his bomb, but a dying Mangalore sets off his own, destroying the hotel and killing Zorg.

As the great evil approaches Earth, the four meet David at the temple. They deploy the stones, but Leeloo, having learned of humanity's history of cruelty, has given up on life. Dallas declares his love for her and kisses her. Leeloo combines the power of the stones, emitting divine light onto the great evil and defeating it. Dallas and Leeloo are hailed as heroes, and as dignitaries wait to greet them, the two passionately embrace in a recovery chamber.

This is one of the movies that I have watched over and over again. I hadn't seen it before a coworker recommended it in the mid-2000's to me and when I saw the cover to the dvd and it had a blond Bruce Willis on it. I was hooked.

I hesitate to call this a hokey movie, but it is really bordering on that. I don't mind, but others might not be able to get past that veneer and enjoy this. From the get-go with the aliens and the archeologist and the priest, there was something that was just a bit off about this. I've come to realize that it is this movie not taking itself seriously at all.

I recently bought this in blu ray, hence the cover above and was hoping for some commentary tracks. Sadly, the extras on the blu ray were pretty sparse and limited to showing some interviews with the various actors and giving a little bit of the history of how the movie was made. But no directors commentary or actors commentary. I guess it isn't a big enough hit to pay for that kind of thing. That's too bad, because I think it would have been fascinating to get some thoughts on what was going on.

Chris Tucker plays a side kick and man, the first time I saw this I hated his character. He was a pompadour sporting effeminate macho man who did a girly high scream a lot. It was a bunch of diametrically opposed ideas all coming together into one character. Tucker manages to pull it off too, which is incredible.

Willis is his usual special space forces tough guy. He did an admirable job of it too. Sadly, playing across from Jovovich, well, the chemistry wasn't there. She's supposed to be this super warrior yet lovely and vulnerable woman and while he says all the correct words, the chemistry just wasn't there. Jovovich does a great job too. She speaks a whole new language, kicks butt and falls in love with Willis and because of the power of love, saves the universe from The Bad Thing. She was fantastic as the warrior, and it was a precursor to show what she was capable of in just a few years when she dominated with the Resident Evil movies. But as a "perfect woman", well, I just wasn't feeling it. I wish they had chosen someone else. Considering that the director, Luc Besson, started an affair with Jovovich during the film, well....

The Bad Thing is the destruction of the Universe but it really doesn't play much of a part. It plays just enough to kick our characters along, but never felt like a direct threat. THAT villainous part was played by Gary Oldman, as Zorg, some sort of ultra-rich guy who sold out to The Bad Thing. He's the face of villainy in this movie and my goodness, I loved every second of his over the top silliness. It's hard to take him seriously and then bam, he pushes a button and tons of people just die and I'm like "oh yeah, he's the bad guy". He gets his just desserts and it is glorious :-D

Now that I own this on disc I feel like I'll not watch it again for who knows how long. That seems to happen to me. Once I own something, I lose desire to view it. But if I DO feel like watching it, now I can without having to jump through hoops of finding it on a streaming service :-/

While I thoroughly enjoy this movie, I don't know if I actually recommend it. If you're a big Bruce Willis or Milla Jovovitch fan or a fan of the slightly hokey, then I would recommend it to you. Otherwise, I'm ambivalent.

Blood Standard (Isaiah Coleridge #1) 3Stars

Title: Blood Standard
Series: Isaiah Coleridge #1
Author: Laird Barron
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Thriller
Pages: 288
Words: 81K
Publish: 2018

I enjoyed this anti-hero badguy makes good, well, not so bad anyway. Nothing particularly stood out good or bad, which is why it is getting that middle of the road rating of 3stars. It’s good enough that I plan on reading the rest of the trilogy.

But unless those two books improve my opinion dramatically, I do not plan on seeking out any other work by the author. I probably shouldn’t base any future plans on this book alone. But really, outside of the main character being big and beating up even worse people than himself, there’s not much else to discuss. So my brain goes down these weird little paths, and since I’m an inveterate planner, it usually goes down a planning path. Even if there isn’t enough data to do any actual planning on. Therefore, my NEW plan is to finish this trilogy and reserve judgment.

Hahhaahahahahahahaa, riiiiiight, ME, reserving judgment. My goodness, sometimes I just crack myself up.

★★★☆☆

From the Publisher and Bookstooge

Isaiah Coleridge is a mob enforcer in Alaska--he's tough, seen a lot, and dished out more. But when he forcibly ends the moneymaking scheme of a made man, he gets in the kind of trouble that can lead to a bullet behind the ear. Saved by the grace of his boss and exiled to upstate New York, Isaiah begins a new life, a quiet life without gunshots or explosions. Except a teenage girl disappears, and Isaiah isn't one to let that slip by. And delving into the underworld to track this missing girl will get him exactly the kind of notice he was warned to avoid.

After beating up lots of people and threatening lots of people and getting almost killed by crooked cops, Isaiah founds her corpse. Her horse had thrown her in the woods and she’d died from hitting her head. No big mystery at all. Isaiah just wasted all that time and energy for nothing. So much for laying low.

Saturday, October 11, 2025

Pumpkin Festival 2025

Now, before we begin, we have to set the scene and the mood. So imagine your life is going along quite normally, as it always does. You have pizza on Tuesday, maybe a kale shake on Friday. Then, the invasion begins. Everywhere you go, everywhere you look, everywhere you sniff, there is Pumpkin Spice! Including biscuits, sigh. Mrs B wanted to try these, so she bought them. They are basically cinnamon rolls that you drizzle pumpkin spice "frosting" on after they are cooked.

Now they did taste good, but still, Grands biscuits are supposed to be BISCUITS. So now we are in the proper frame of mind, let us continue the journey of a small town, celebrating harmlessly, or so they think!

First, and always most importantly, is the food. Without the food, the Pumpkin Festival is just a bunch of people walking around looking at stuff. But WITH food, well, that completely changes everything, now doesn't it? Food is like the Force.

“... my ally is the Food, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Hungry beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Food around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere...”
~ Master Chef Yoda

Our first stop is always food alley. We get there around 4:30pm, before things kick off at 5pm. The food trucks are all open but not many people have arrived yet so there are no lines. I got a pepperoni calzone and Mrs B got some sort of breakfast sandwich with avocado. Then because I knew that a calzone wasn't very healthy, I decided to eat my vegetables and have a slice of pumpkin roll. Ahhh, that's the stuff.

Then it was time to visit the Venerable Town Hall. This majestic and gracious building towers over all its denizens, assuring them that the reins of government are in capable hands. Capable enough to run a Pumpkin Festival anyway. But that is all "I" will vouch for.

Next comes the annual perambulation around the Oval. There are many vendors and lots of people and you just never know WHAT you might see. Jack Skellington welcoming one and all. An anorexic cop! And to top things off, a pig on a leash. I kid you not. How can you not love small towns where you can see a pig on a leash in the town oval?
*clap
*clap
*clap

As you make your way around the Oval, not only are there "things" to see, but artwork on windows galore. Motorcycles seem to be a big theme this year. These were done on storefront windows, to give you some size comparison.

Finally, as the sun sets and the dark chill night sets in, when the lights go out and you wonder, "will I die in the next 5 seconds from a homicidal maniac slicing my head off with a razor blade?", THAT is when our Citizen of the Year appears, bringing light and hope to all who see them. They climb the firetruck to the top of the Venerable Town Hall and ceremonially light the giant pumpkin inside, and thus our small town is safe for another year from the hordes of massholes who try to invade us every chance they get.

This event has become a habit for Mrs B and I. We go, we eat, we look and buy, we laugh and we scream and holler to encourage the Citizen of the Year. Then we go home and go to bed, because we're older and tireder than the previous year :-D