Sunday, May 21, 2023

Shrek the Third (2007 Movie)

IMDB states:
“Reluctantly designated as the heir to the land of Far, Far Away, Shrek hatches a plan to install the rebellious Artie as the new king while Princess Fiona tries to fend off a coup d’état by the jilted Prince Charming.”

What they forget to mention is that Artie is Arthur Pendragon, Fiona is pregnant and Shrek is having a real problem coming to grips with his approaching fatherhood. The coup by Prince Charming is rolled back as easily as it happened and the movie ends with Fiona and Shrek having triplets.

Prince Charming as the villain is more of a joke, which is ok for a kids movie, but once again, there are lines here and there and references that I wouldn’t want a kid of mine hearing or seeing. The crassness levels are toned down. There is one scene though where Shrek and Fiona are all dressed up like French Royalty and Shrek has an itch on his bum. So he gets a flute player to scratch his bum and of course that is when the curtain rises and the entire assembly sees it. I laughed so hard.

The whole King Arthur storyline pushed the interactions between Donkey, Shrek and Puss n Boots to the side and the writers really didn’t come out shining. His story arc was predictably shallow and “emotional” and then wham, done. On the plus side, there is a scene where Shrek is trying to “relate” to Artie and talks like some sort of 60’s hippy teen on weed. Once again, that was gold! But one scene isn’t enough to carry a whole movie for character interaction.

This is step down from Shrek 2 and while I still enjoyed it, I think it definitely entered into stupid territory instead of clever territory. I could feel the steam running out of the franchise.

Saturday, May 20, 2023

Triple Jeopardy (Nero Wolfe #20) ★★★★☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Triple Jeopardy
Series: Nero Wolfe #20
Author: Rex Stout
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Mystery
Pages: 184
Words: 67K

From Wikipedia:

3 novellas comprising:


“Home to Roost”

Benjamin and Pauline Rackell engage Wolfe to investigate the death of their nephew Arthur, paying him a $3,000 retainer. Arthur had begun to show increasing support for the Communist Party, but confided to Pauline that he had been recruited by the FBI to infiltrate the group’s New York organization. At a dinner party, he had brought out a pillbox from his pocket, set it on the table, and taken one of the vitamin capsules inside, only to die a few minutes later from cyanide poisoning. The other capsules in the box were found to be genuine and harmless. Pauline insists that one of the other five dinner guests must have learned the truth about Arthur and slipped the poisoned capsule into the box while he was not paying attention.

Archie visits both the local FBI office and Manhattan Homicide but is unable to get any useful information; at Wolfe’s request, he arranges a meeting with the Rackells and the dinner guests at Wolfe’s office. Of these latter five – Ormond Leddegard, Fifi Goheen, Della Devlin, Henry Jameson Heath, Carol Berk – only Heath is known to have ties to the Communist Party. Wolfe questions the group about the dinner party and the pillbox, not mentioning Arthur’s FBI status in order to avoid tipping them off, and inadvertently sparks a confrontation between Della and Fifi over Heath’s affections. Fifi says that Arthur told her he lied to Pauline about working for the FBI, a claim Pauline adamantly denies.

The next day, Archie engages Saul Panzer, Fred Durkin, and Orrie Cather to keep Heath under constant surveillance and arranges for the Rackells to see Wolfe again. Wolfe tells them that he is convinced there was an eyewitness to Arthur’s murder, and offers to find that person and get the truth for a fee of $20,000. Benjamin is unconvinced, but Pauline is eager to accept the offer, and Wolfe sends Archie to visit Della and Carol in their shared apartment that night. Della says that Carol has gone to a show, but Archie finds her hiding in a closet and listening in. After she leaves, he offers Della $10,000 to tell the police that she had seen Fifi switch the capsules; she does not immediately say yes or no, and he leaves to update Wolfe and Saul.

The next morning, both Inspector Cramer and FBI Agent Wengert visit the office to confront Wolfe. They have learned of Archie’s offer to Della and are furious, but Wolfe points out that their best course of action is to let him proceed, neither supporting nor opposing his plans. Archie gets updates on Heath’s movements throughout the day, culminating in a meeting with a woman in Central Park at which Saul is eavesdropping. Arriving at the location, Archie finds that the woman is Pauline and brings both of them to the office. With Saul’s corroboration, Wolfe determines that Heath arranged the meeting in order to persuade Pauline not to pay for Wolfe’s scheme to get Fifi convicted.

Wolfe reveals that his offer to the Rackells was meant to draw out the murderer, as he had no concrete evidence or witnesses. He accuses Pauline of Arthur’s murder, having become suspicious of her after she accepted his offer so quickly. She had seen it as a way to frame someone else for her crime and keep her own Communist leanings from becoming public. Wolfe pressures Heath into agreeing to tell him how much Pauline has contributed to the party, in order to keep himself from being associated with her criminal trial.

The next day, while Cramer and Wengert are going over the details of the case with Wolfe, Archie reveals that he knows who had been the real infiltrator sent by the FBI. It was Carol, who would have learned about the $10,000 offer from Della and was the only person who could have informed Wengert of it so quickly. Now that the case is over, she accepts Archie’s offer of a drink.

“The Cop-Killer”

Returning to the brownstone from his morning errands, Archie finds two surprise visitors waiting for him on the stoop: Carl and Tina Vardas, both of whom work at the barbershop that Wolfe and Archie frequent. Jacob Wallen, a police detective, had visited the shop earlier in the day in order to question the employees as to their whereabouts on the previous night. After he had questioned Carl and Tina separately, they fled the shop for fear of being deported back to their native Russia, from which they had illegally made their way to New York City three years earlier. Archie puts them in the front room, tells Wolfe of their arrival, and goes to the shop.

Several police officers, including Sergeant Purley Stebbins, are already there when he arrives, and Inspector Cramer arrives soon afterward. Wallen has been found dead in a manicurist’s cubicle, stabbed in the back with a pair of scissors. While waiting for a shave, Archie learns that Wallen had been investigating a hit-and-run accident the previous night in which two women were struck and killed by a stolen car, and he had carried that evening’s newspaper with him. He had used the cubicle for his questioning, and his body was found there some minutes after talking to the last of the employees. Since Carl and Tina fled the shop, suspicion falls on them first. Janet Stahl, a manicurist, claims in overly dramatic fashion that she killed Wallen, but Archie does not believe her.

Once his shave is finished, Archie returns to the brownstone and finds Wolfe eating lunch with Carl and Tina. Further questioning of the couple reveals that neither of them knows how to drive a car, which is enough in Archie’s mind to clear them of any guilt in the hit-and-run. They remember that Wallen had carried his newspaper flat as if it had just come off the newsstand, rather than rolled or folded up in his coat pocket, and had set it down that way on the table in the cubicle. Surprised by the arrival of Cramer, Archie moves them into the front room in order to keep him from finding them. Cramer is unconvinced that Archie’s visit for a shave was only a coincidence, especially since has never gone to the shop for only a shave, but cannot see how any of the employees could afford Wolfe’s fees. During the visit, Cramer learns from a phone call that Janet has been injured.

Returning to the shop, Archie finds Janet recovering from a blow to the head and willing to talk only to him. She again over-dramatizes the incident, claiming that Stebbins assaulted her, but Archie uses her theatrics to question her further about the timeline of the morning’s events. He calls in with an update for Wolfe, who soon surprises everyone by showing up for a haircut and asking for his usual barber, Jimmie Kirk. As Jimmie begins to work, Wolfe addresses the group with a list of assumptions he has made concerning the hit-and-run and Wallen’s death:

That Wallen found some object in the car to lead him to the shop

That he carried it with him when he entered the shop

That it was inside his newspaper

That the murderer found and either moved or hid it

That neither Carl nor Tina was the murderer

That the object is still inside the shop

That no proper search for it has yet been made

With prompting from Wolfe, including a suggestion to check the shop for Wallen’s fingerprints, Cramer realizes that the object in question must have been one of the magazines in the waiting area, which are labeled with the shop’s name and address. Janet remembers seeing Jimmie carrying one wrapped in a hot towel, as if he had been steaming it, and Jimmie dives for the magazines only to be tackled and arrested. He had jumped bail in West Virginia on an assortment of charges, including auto theft; while working at the shop, he had developed a habit of stealing its magazines, one of which he left in the car after abandoning it. Wolfe grumbles over the inconvenience of losing his barber to a murder charge.

In the final chapter, Archie suggests that Wolfe call in a few favors with Washington officials so that Carl and Tina can legally remain in the United States. Wolfe comments that he has been a naturalized citizen for 24 years.

“The Squirt and the Monkey”

Archie Goodwin takes an unusual assignment to help cartoonist Harry Koven recover a gun that has been stolen from a desk drawer in his home office. Harry, creator of the popular Dazzle Dan comic strip, intends to have Archie place his own gun—the same model as the stolen one—in the drawer, then open the drawer in the presence of the five people he suspects of the theft and watch their reactions. These five are Harry’s wife Marcelle, his friend Adrian Getz (nicknamed “Squirt” by Harry), his agent/manager Patricia Lowell, and strip artists Pete Jordan and Byram Hildebrand.

Arriving at the Kovens’ house, Archie is escorted to a room with a blazing fireplace; the heat is for the benefit of Rookaloo, a pet monkey kept in a cage in this room. After Archie puts his own (unloaded) gun in Harry’s desk drawer, Harry becomes indecisive about his plan and asks for time to gather his courage, during which Archie meets the other five and learns of various tensions between them. Several hours later, once Harry is ready to proceed, he and Archie re-check the drawer only to find that Archie’s gun has been switched for Harry’s. Archie subsequently finds Getz lying dead in Rookaloo’s room, shot in the head, and Rookaloo is holding Archie’s gun (now loaded) and shivering in a draft from a now-open window.

When the police arrive, Archie makes a full statement and is then arrested by Inspector Cramer for violating the Sullivan Act, since he had been carrying Harry’s gun at the time and did not have a permit for it. Cramer’s decision is based on Harry’s untruthful account of the day’s events, in which he claims that he only invited Archie to discuss the idea of introducing a detective storyline into Dazzle Dan. Wolfe’s detective license is suspended; he secures Archie’s release on bail the next day—for both the weapons charge and a material witness warrant that has been sworn out against him—and files a $1 million slander lawsuit against Harry for damaging his reputation.

Wolfe has the past three years’ worth of Gazette issues delivered to the office, and Lon Cohen briefs Archie on various grudges that Harry and the others have against Getz, who turns out to be the owner of the Kovens’ house. Later that day, Wolfe and Archie have a hidden tape recorder installed in the office, with controls in the kitchen. Wolfe searches through the Dazzle Dan strips in the Gazette and takes interest in two characters, Aggie Ghool and Haggie Krool, who have a severely lopsided business relationship that favors Aggie. When Patricia stops by the office, Wolfe questions her about portrayals of a monkey in the strip—first depicted maliciously, then suddenly made to appear sympathetic. Patricia admits that Jordan and Hildebrand have very different opinions about Rookaloo, explaining the shift, and also says that she gave it to Getz, who in turn left it in Marcelle’s care without asking her. Patricia denies Wolfe’s statement of a rumor that the idea for Dazzle Dan originally came from Getz.

That night, Wolfe gathers the principals in his office and allows Cramer to attend as well, on the condition that he remain silent and observe through the office peephole for the first half-hour of the meeting. Wolfe secretly records a portion of the conversation, then plays it back in order to leverage information out of the group. The Aggie/Haggie characters represent the uneven split between Getz and Harry, as indicated by their initials (A.G. and H.K.); Getz, the strip’s actual creator, took a 90% share of the strip’s revenues and allowed Harry only 10%. Marcelle reveals that she had tried to persuade Harry to stand up to Getz and denounces him for never having the courage to do so. She tries to blame Harry for the murder, but Wolfe points out that her disdain for Rookaloo led her to open the window in the hope that the draft would kill it—a mistake that proves her guilt. Cramer places Marcelle under arrest, with Wolfe’s admonishment that he would have been able to close the case much sooner if he had believed Archie’s statement.


I really enjoyed these 3 novellas. I don’t know if I actually enjoyed these more than previous Wolfe novella collections or if I’ve just accepted that a good story can still be had in 60 pages. Whatever the reason, I had zero hangups this time around. For which I am thankful.

I absolutely love Archie and Wolfe’s interaction with the police. It is almost always adversarial yet they still all acknowledge the professionalism of the other. Of course, even here we can see how power wants to accumulate more power to itself. The cops are constantly pushing for more power, to deal with the bad guys better, but at some point if they got their wish they’d become 3rd world thugs. Also Archie and Wolfe both fully know their rights and the limits and protections of those rights. How many citizens today in America can factually layout why they can do what they think they can (or why they legally can’t)? Sadly, not nearly enough.

This was one of the times that I was tempted to read another Wolfe book right after this and bedamned to my reading schedule. I just wanted MORE. But not giving in to my literary cravings is what keeps me loving these Wolfe books. If I gave in, I’d get tired and burned out (unless I was Fraggle and read the whole series 3 times in a row in like a year or something totally cray-cray). While my reading rotation is highly personalized, it is that way because it works. I haven’t had a reading slump in years and I want to keep it that way. So with regret but determined, I put Wolfe away for another month or so.

★★★★☆

Friday, May 19, 2023

Asterix in Corsica (Asterix #20) ★★★☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Asterix in Corsica
Series: Asterix #20
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

From Wikipedia:

Unlike most editions of the series, the map that is shown before the story begins does not present Gaul and a close-up of the village with the four surrounding Roman camps. Instead the reader is shown a map of Corsica and a multitude of camps around the coastline.

The story begins with a banquet celebrating the anniversary of Vercingetorix’s victory at the Battle of Gergovia. As part of the celebrations, the indomitable Gauls always attack the local Roman camps; as a result, the Roman soldiers always go on “special manoeuvres” en masse to avoid the punch-up.

On this particular year various people who have helped the Gauls against the Romans in previous books have been invited along with their wives (this may be because this was the last story published in Pilote magazine, or because this was the 20th album). They include:

Petitsuix from Helvetia (Asterix in Switzerland),

Huevos Y Bacon and son Pepe from Hispania (Asterix in Spain),

Instantmix, the Gaulish restaurateur from Rome (Asterix the Gladiator),

Anticlimax from Britain alongside Dipsomaniax the tavern-keeper, McAnix the Scotsman, O’veroptimistix the Irishman, and Chief Mykingdomforanos (Asterix in Britain),

Drinklikafix of Massalia, Jellibabix of Lugdunum, Seniorservix from Gesocribatum (Asterix and the Banquet),

Winesanspirix and his wife from Gergovia (Asterix and the Chieftain’s Shield).

The Roman camp of Totorum, too, has visitors: three Roman soldiers escorting the Corsican leader Boneywasawarriorwayayix, exiled by Praetor Perfidius. He is left to spend the night in the Centurion’s tent, to its owner’s dismay. While the other camps are deserted, the Romans of Totorum have no option but to stay and be decimated by the Gauls and their friends, who discover Boneywasawarriorwayayix awakening from a long siesta (afternoon nap).

The proud Boneywasawarriorwayayix attends the Gaulish banquet and leaves the next day for Corsica with Asterix, Obelix and Dogmatix accompanying him. At Massalia, he hires a ship crewed by none other than the pirates. When the passengers go aboard it is too dark for the captain and the Gauls to recognise each other. But when, in the middle of the night, the pirates attempt to rob the Corsican and his three companions, they recognize the sleeping Gauls and the entire crew vacates the ship in a rowing boat.

The following morning, the passengers awake to find the ship is deserted. Boneywasawarriorwayayix then invites the Gauls to share a pungent Corsican cheese. Unaccustomed to the strong smell, they feel unwell, but then the Corsican realises that they are off the coast of his native island, abandons the cheese and excitedly swims ashore.

The arrival of the three men and dog is noticed by a Roman patrol. The Romans later investigate the ship but find nothing suspicious. As they leave, the pirates arrive to reclaim their vessel, only for a burning torch to ignite the Corsican cheese’s fumes, blowing up the ship.

A keen young Roman called Courtingdisastus captures the pirate captain and takes him to Praetor Perfidius in the Roman city of Aleria. From him, the Romans learn that Boneywasawarriorwayayix, a known revolutionary leader, has returned from exile. Perfidius appoints Courtingdisastus to lead a party assigned to recapture Boneywasawarriorwayayix. But in fact, Perfidius has few illusions that the mission will be successful and starts making his own plans to flee Corsica, leaving his men in the lurch and sailing away with all the loot he has purloined from the Corsicans.

Courtingdisastus and his men go to Boneywasawarriorwayayix’s village, but are faced by his second-in-command Carferrix, who intimidates them into fleeing. Meanwhile, the Corsican leader and the Gauls travel through the maquis to a rendezvous where several clan chieftains gather to plan their attack on Aleria to recover the wealth the Praetor has extracted from them.

The attack begins before Perfidius can make his escape. Boneywasawarriorwayayix then makes a proud and defiant speech stating that Corsica will never be ruled by an Emperor unless he is a Corsican himself.

After the victory over the Romans, a vendetta between the clans of Boneywasawarriorwayayix and Olabellamargaritix, fought over various but complicated age-old issues, is settled by the diplomatic Asterix (though, when the Gauls leave, there are strong hints that other Corsican chieftains will resume the feud with Olabellamargaritix even if Boneywasawarriorwayayix has called his off).

The Gauls return home with fond memories of their trip.


This was an amusing story with absolutely non-stop wordplays. I think the map at the beginning, showing Corsica and ALL the roman fortifications around it, says enough about the story.

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/ac8c0vf6qm5p52q/asterix20-1.jpg

★★★☆☆

Thursday, May 18, 2023

Lapvona ✬☆☆☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Lapvona
Series: ———-
Author: Ottessa Moshfegh
Rating: 0.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 190
Words: 79K

From Wikipedia.com

In Lapvona, a corrupt medieval fiefdom, deformed 13 year-old Marek lives with his cruel shepherd father Jude and was nursed from birth by the village witch. When Marek commits a crime, the cruel lord Villiam demands that Jude give Marek to him as reparations, and Marek goes to live in his castle.


This was a perverse book without a single redeeming quality. I cannot fathom a mind that could create such filth. Needless to say I will not be reading anything else by Moshfegh ever again.

✬☆☆☆☆

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Fullmetal Alchemist #8 ★★✬☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Fullmetal Alchemist #8
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: Hiromu Arakawa
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 180
Words: 9K

From FMA.fandom.com

Chapter 30: The Truth Inside the Armor

Chapter 31: The Snake That Eats Its Own Tail

Chapter 32: Emissary From the East

Chapter 33: Showdown in Rush Valley

Bonus Chapter: Fullmetal Alchemist and the Broken Angel

“The Raid on the Devil’s Nest becomes a slaughter, as government troops led by the Führer President himself, King Bradley-exterminate the half-human forces of the Homunculus Greed. But will Ed and Al survive the battle unchanged? As Greed is sent to meet his maker, foreign travelers arrive in Amestris, having crossed the great desert from the eastern country of Xing. Their names are Mei and Ling, and they’ve come for the Philosopher’s Stone …and a secret even the Elric Brothers never imagined…”


We do meet the creator of the homunculi and he destroys one who has rebelled. We find out for sure that King Bradley is indeed a homunculi, but one that can age and apparently have children.

Other than that, this was just a complete slog. I mean, I was bored almost to tears and couldn’t wait for it to end. That is NOT the feeling I want when reading an action manga. Well, whatever. I just don’t care at the moment.

★★✬☆☆

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

The Last Ditch (WH40K: Ciaphas Cain #8) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Last Ditch
Series: WH40K: Ciaphas Cain #8
Authors: Sandy Mitchell
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 304
Words: 97K

From Wh40k.lexicanum.com

The next extract of the Cain Archive which Amberley Vail has chosen to edit and release may strike her colleagues in the Inquisition as an odd choice, since she is dealing with Ciaphas Cain’s second visit to Nusquam Fundumentibus, before disseminating the details of his first. However, Vail defends her decision by explaining that the first visit, while instructive enough, was nowhere near as significant as this one…

Part One

Over a regicide game with Lord General Zyvan, Cain learns of the Valhallan 597th’s newest assignment: their second deployment to Nusquam, being menaced by Orks yet again. Colonel Kasteen and the rest of the Valhallans are predictably excited, though Cain’s enthusiasm for visiting a battle zone (especially one on an Ice World) is as great as it’s ever been.

Cain gets ominous vibes from the Fires of Faith, the run-down merchant vessel commandeered as the regiment’s transport to Nusquam, but the captain, Mires, assures him that the ship is sound.

However, a few weeks later, when the ship translates from the Warp, the poorly-maintained Geller field fails for an instant – just long enough to let a mischievous Daemon slip on board and possess the body of one of the bridge servitors. Havoc erupts, and though Cain, Jurgen, and the regiment’s Chaplain, Tope, are able to banish it, the bridge controls are all but destroyed. Without engine or maneuvering control, the ship has become a deathtrap. They can’t assume orbit over the planet, nor can they slow down enough to dock with any shuttles; and they have nowhere near enough saviour pods to debark the whole regiment.

In the frantic weeks as the ship hurtles toward Nusquam, Mires comes up with a desperate plan: if they can fire up the engines, they may be able to accelerate into a rough orbit. When they try it, however, they clip the planet’s orbiting dockyard, and, instead of achieving orbit, hurtle down into the planet’s atmosphere. By a miracle, they have just enough thruster ability to make a controlled crash, creating a fair-sized lake of boiling water in the ice instead of a smoking hole. The regiment is padded down in the central holds, and survives with minimal casualties, though several of the crew, including Mires, are killed in the crash (saving Cain from having to decide whether or not to shoot him).

Part Two

Thanks to Nusquam’s freezing temperatures, the ice reforms around the ship quickly enough to stop it sinking into the newly-formed lake. But as the Valhallan proverb has it, “things can always get worse.” As soon as Captain Federer blasts a hole in the side of the hull that will let the regiment out, they see an Ork warband speeding towards them, attracted by the Valhallans’ not-so-inconspicuous arrival. The Valhallans fortify the entrance, but are boxed in, with no way to deploy effectively before the Orks reach the ship. However, Cain sees a downed Kopta crash through the ice, which is still relatively thin on top, and gets an idea.

Unfortunately, having the idea makes him the obvious choice to carry it out. Using the winch from one of the Scout troop’s Sentinels, Cain and Jurgen are lowered to the surface of the ice, carrying demolition charges. Federer has advised them that they need to be under the ice to have an effect, so Jurgen creates holes in a few strategic spots with his melta gun. Just as they are finishing, they are set upon by a stray band of Orks. Badly outnumbered, they commandeer one of the downed Warbuggyz and speed clear of the lake.

Federer detonates the charges to satisfying effect, cracking the ice and drowning nearly all of the Orks. At the edge of the frozen lake, Cain looks into the water and thinks he glimpses something, but it is gone too quickly for him to be sure. He and Jurgen speed away from a group of Orks that escaped the lake, but the pursuit cuts off abruptly. Heading back cautiously, they find the Ork vehicles abandoned, and the orks gone without trace. They head back to rejoin the regiment, but Cain is unable to shake the fear that something else is on the planet that neither the Imperials nor the orks are aware of.

Part Three

The 597th establishes its headquarters in the capital city, Primadelving, and gets “stuck in” to the Orks with all the enthusiasm and competence of any seasoned Valhallan regiment. Their success is extremely galling to the PDF and the green companies of the newly-formed Nusquam 1st Guard regiment, who have been battling the Orks with as much enthusiasm but rather less competence. Kasteen butts heads with the Nusquans’ newly-minted Commissar, Forres, who seems determined to prove herself by encouraging her troops to charge the greenskins head-on as often as possible.

Cain smoothes things over by pointing out that the Orks’ numbers have been thinning on all fronts. Since the concept of retreat is anathema to greenskins, this makes it more than likely that they are consolidating for a major push against one of a few strategic targets.

A few days later, the Governor is alarmed when the city loses contact with two strategic sites well behind the Imperial lines, apparently attacked by Ork Kommandos. One of these, Mechanicus Adept Izembard warns, is a geothermal power station that, if left unregulated, could trigger a volcanic explosion within the next few hours.

Since Forres has already volunteered to lead the first wave of Nusquans sent in as reinforcements, Cain can hardly decline the invitation to lead the Valhallan contingent. He tries to make the best of it, flying with Sergeant Grifen’s squad in a Valkyrie to the Shrine ahead of the platoon traveling overland.

When they arrive, the Shrine is deserted, and undamaged to a degree unheard of whenever Orks are involved. Cain is expecting the worst, but the squad double-times to the central control room and Cain starts to manipulate the controls according to Izembard’s directions. But in one corner, the troopers find a heap of gory metal parts, as if something swallowed the Tech Priests at the Shrine and threw their bionic parts back up. In horror, Cain yells for the troopers to get away from the walls, as Tyranids erupt from the fissures.

Cain and the Valhallans make a fighting retreat to the Valkyrie. But instead of ordering them back to Primadelving, Kasteen diverts them to the other strategic objective, informing them that Forres and her troops are also under attack.

The second fight is even harder, since the swarm includes genestealers, but with a little ingenuity on Cain’s part, they manage to defeat the swarm and extract Forres’s surrounded party. With the Nusquans’ Chimeras wrecked, they climb aboard a large cargo hauler and plough their way out the front door.

Driving back to Primadelving, Cain catches a glimpse of a few scattered hormagaunts, led by a Warrior, digging in the ice. Knowing it is virtually unheard of for Tyranids to move in such small numbers, he is worried enough to check it out. Just as they are peering over a snowdrift, the ice cracks, and a Tervigon rises. Cain and Jurgen leap aboard the crawler and speed away, but the vehicle hits an inconvenient crevasse and throws one of its tracks, leaving the Guardsmen no option but to make a stand. Their lasguns are fairly useless except against the Termagants being spawned by the monstrous creature, but Jurgen is able to critically wound it with two blasts from his melta.

In her enthusiasm, Forres charges forward to finish it off, and Cain, keenly aware that all eyes are on him, runs forward to restrain her. He stops Forres from being bitten in half by the creature’s death throes, but falls down a pit in the ice created by its fall. Looking around, he is horrified to see hundreds, if not thousands, of still-dormant Tyranids lodged in the ice. If they all wake up, the Guard will not stand a chance.

Part Four

Knowing they are outnumbered, Kasteen has already sent astropathic calls for help, but reinforcements from Coronus wil take more time to arrive than they have. Cain adds that he has also sent a discreet message to Amberley Vail, and that a detachment from the Bone Knives Space Marine chapter is also on its way.

Since no Hive Ships can be detected in orbit, where the Tyranids came from is a mystery that nags at the Governor and several others. Magos Izembard announces that, based on his analysis of the specimens Cain brought back, the Tyranids have been frozen in the ice for about seven thousand years – they had no reason to thaw out and wake up, until the Fires of Faith ploughed a boiling hole in the ice. The Tyranids’ current numbers and their likely movements are all but impossible to discern, but one thing he can say with certainty is that they will be attacking Primadelving – the planet’s biggest population center – before long.

An extract from Jenit Sulla’s memoirs clarifies that the Govenor evacuated as many civilians from the outlying habitats to Primadelving as possible, allowing the Guard forces to consolidate their defence, but the Tyranids snapped up many of the slower-moving ones, and the Orks had, in the meantime, managed to re-group and renew their offensive.

Since many of the civilians are refusing to leave their homes, Kasteen asks Cain to accompany one of the evacuation convoys, hoping that the sight of him will convince the rest of the city that the convoys are safe, and preferable to staying behind and being gobbled up. Cain has no objections to leaving the primary theatre for a few days, even if doing so requires him to ride with Sulla.

As usual, trouble finds Cain regardless of where he is or how he got there. After several hours, the passenger crawler he is riding in is attacked from underneath by a Mawloc, which punches through the viewport nearest to Cain. With a press of screaming civilians at his back, Cain takes the only route he can to avoid being swallowed whole – leaping out of the window a split second before the Mawloc strikes. The Valhallan Sentinels escorting the convoy quickly neutralize the Warriors controlling the Mawloc, but Cain is briefly on his own. Remembering that the beast is vibration-sensitive, Cain improvises: Jurgen tosses him a krak grenade, and Cain shoves it into the barrels of spare promethium lashed to the deck, then cuts them loose. Feeling the thump of the barrels, the Mawloc senses food and swallows them all, just before an explosion guts it. Cain is safe, though exasperated that he is now the hero of the hour yet again.

When the convoy arrives in Underice (the planet’s second-largest city), Cain is looking forward to a few hours, or days, of rest, but is shocked to see a series of orbit-capable shuttles parked outside the city. Sulla investigates, and informs that, since the shuttles were intended to ferry the 597th from the Fires of Faith, the Administratum automatically listed them as lost after the ship was destroyed. But because the shuttles were still parked at the spaceport at Primadelving, the Administratum ordered them to clear off and find somewhere else to be “lost.” As grating as Cain normally finds Sulla’s company, he cannot help but share a moment of rapport with her, as they both mull over the indefatigable stupidity of the bureaucratic mindset.

Sulla brightly informs Cain that she has requisitioned the shuttles, which can take the Valhallans back to the main theatre that very night, without having to waste another long overland journey. Cain tries to sound congratulatory.

Part Five

Back in Primadelving, the shuttles have greatly speeded up the evacuation, although the Governor is stubbornly refusing to let Kasteen declare martial law and “convince” the last few holdouts to leave the city. On the battlefront, things are steadily getting worse, as the Tyranid swarms attacking the city are steadily becoming both more numerous, and much better coordinated. Kasteen, Broklaw, and Cain speculate that some kind of Node is gradually awakening, allowing the Tyranids to act as one.

Magos Izembard announces that he has pinpointed the exact age of the Tyranid specimens Cain brought back. No one considers this very important, but Izembard begs to differ: the Tyranids’ arrival on Nusquam coincides more or less exactly with the date when the comet responsible for much of the local geography struck the planet – which means there was no comet, and what hit the planet seven thousand years ago was a full-fledged Hive Ship, which is still buried in the ice and has been gradually re-animating since the Valhallans arrived. Based on the progress of the Tyranids’ cohesion, Izembard estimates that they have only hours before the Hive Ship is fully awake, at which point the Tyranids will not only be poised to overwhelm them, but it will send out a psychic call that will draw any nearby Hive Fleets to overrun the entire sector. Cain quails at the thought that, even if they escape the planet, there will be nowhere to hide.

However, he sees an option: a small element of the Imperial forces is stationed outside the city walls, guarding the last functioning geothermal power station on the continent. If they can deliberately induce an overload, of the kind that claimed the other one, the resulting volcanic explosion will destroy the Hive Ship (and the now-all-but-empty city, but that’s unavoidable). Once again, Cain, as the idea man, lacks a plausible excuse to duck the job of leading the force.

Cain and Jurgen lead a combined unit of Valhallans and Nusquan Rough Riders mounted on Bikes through the tunnels, fighting off any Tyranids they encounter. But soon they find their way blocked by a Hive Tyrant, accompanied by a full escort of Guards. Under its direction, the Tyranids in their path are as impassable as a wall, and the force at the power plant, being led by Forres, is blocked off. At first, Cain is tempted to call off the mission and run back to the shuttles, but he sees a group of Pyrovores in the Tyrant’s escort, and inspiration strikes. The Guard re-target their weapons, and rupture one’s stomach, causing a chain reaction as its contents burst into flame and ignite the other Pyrovores, immolating the Tyrant and its Guards. Unfortunately, there is now nothing stopping Cain’s force from pressing on.

Arriving at the power station, Cain links up with Forres and they disable the station’s safeties and set demolition charges to induce the explosion. But as they are about to evacuate, they are attacked by a fresh wave of Tyranids, led by a Trygon that burrows out of the rock walls. The Trygon is killed, but a rockfall traps Cain and Jurgen in the power station, with Forres and the other Guardsmen on the other side. Grimly, she confirms that they can’t tunnel them out. Cain tells her to evacuate with the others, even as he hears yet more Tyranids speeding towards them.

Cain and Jurgen pick up two fallen Bikes and take the only exit available: the tunnel made by the Trygon. This is a near-suicidal risk, but for Cain the choice between certain death and near-certain death is always an easy one. Relying on speed and his natural sense of direction underground, Cain leads Jurgen on a snaking path away from the station, and finds a surface exit, emerging into safety just before the tunnel belches flame from the volcanic eruption. Cain and Jurgen turn and see the Hive Ship’s death throes as it is caught in the explosion.

Epilogue

Cain and Jurgen pick up their bikes and prepare for a long, cold drive to Underice, but it turns out to be unnecessary. Cain notices a transport circling overhead, and signals it. When the ship lands, he is surprised to recognize it as a Thunderhawk gunship; the Space Marines have arrived at last.

He is even more surprised when the ship whisks them into orbit intstead of reuniting them with the regiment. Above the planet, they see Amberley’s private star yacht orbiting alongside the Marines’ Strike Cruiser.

Cain’s debriefing with Amberley is a pleasant affair, accompanied by a change of clothes, a hot bath, and a gourmet meal. Over dinner, Amberley questions him closely about Izembard’s findings, and is deeply troubled. The Imperium’s first official contact with the Tyranids was in 745.M41, while the more complete records maintained by the Ordo Xenos suggest contact with Tyranid bio-forms as far back as M35. But the Hive Ship on Nusquam has been there for at least a thousand years longer, which raises the disquieting possibility that the Tyranids have penetrated much farther into the galaxy than previously thought, and there is no telling how many other hidden hives are scattered around, just waiting for another fleet invasion to awaken them. Cain tries to minimize the blow, reasoning that the chances of another major Hive Fleet invasion are minimal (adding ruefully with hindsight that he was wrong not once, but twice over).

Amberley asks him if the 597th needs him back right away, and he says no, they will likely be engaged in cleaning up the remnants of the Tyranids and Orks on Nusquam for several months. With a smile, Amberley says Cain (and Jurgen) should be able to help her with another “little problem” she has…

Vail ends the narrative there, deciding that Cain’s response was both irrelevant and unfit for publication.


Orks and tyranids. Lots and lots of both. Mayhem and death. Lots and lots of both. At this point things kind of feel old hat. Cain and the 597th have faced both in large numbers and while the setting has changed here, it felt like a retread.

I say that like it’s a bad thing and sometimes it is, but these WH40K books are franchise fiction and as such there is a formula and the writers stick to it and it works (most of the time. Series like the Horus Heresy that go on for 50books without a resolution, well, that’s just a money grab). I enjoy the badguys getting slaughtered and I enjoy the close shaves and I enjoy the action.

I only have one more Ciaphas Cain novel left (there is one more after that but I can’t get a hold of it) and then I have two random Warhammer 40,000 standalone novels and then I’ll be done. After that, I think I’m going to take a break from WH40K and use the time to investigate to see if there are any other characters/authors I might want to try.

★★★✬☆

Monday, May 15, 2023

The Black Cauldron (The Prydain Chronicles #2) ★★★★★

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Black Cauldron
Series: The Prydain Chronicles #2
Author: Lloyd Alexander
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 108
Words: 47K

From Wikipedia.org

More than a year after the defeat of Arawn Death-Lord’s army and death of his warlord the Horned King,[5] Prince Gwydion calls allies to a council hosted by Dallben, one of Taran’s guardians. Men are disappearing throughout Prydain, while an increasing number of the undead Cauldron-Born have joined Arawn’s forces. At the council, Gwydion reveals an elaborate plan to steal the Black Cauldron, the magical artifact used to create the Cauldron-Born, from Arawn. King Morgant will lead the main force in an attack on Arawn’s stronghold of Annuvin, while a smaller raiding party led by Gwydion breaks off to enter by a mountain pass known only to Coll that will allow them to steal the cauldron undetected. Three men have been designated to remain behind with pack animals to serve as a rearguard and secure the retreat: Adaon, the warrior son of chief bard Taliesin; Taran; and Ellidyr, Prince of Pen-Llarcau, who is arrogant, wiry, strong, and threadbare. Ellidyr disdains Taran for his place on the farm and his unknown parentage. Taran envies Ellidyr for his noble birth, despite Dallben’s counsel that that youngest son of a minor king has only “his name and his sword”.[6] Both are dismayed to share a role with no chance for glory.

In spite of the growing feud between Taran and Ellidyr, all goes smoothly until Gwydion’s raiders find that the cauldron has disappeared. The company rejoins the rearguard in haste to escape the newly-deployed Huntsmen of Annuvin. Meanwhile, the uninvited Princess Eilonwy and man/beast Gurgi have caught up with the quest from behind. Gwydion and Coll are split off from the party but, thanks to Doli of the Fair Folk, all others find refuge underground in a Fair Folk waypost maintained by Gwystyl. From Gwystyl and his pet crow, Kaw, the companions learn that the cauldron has been stolen by the three witches Orddu, Orwen and Orgoch, who reside in the bleak Marshes of Morva.[a] When they depart the waypost, Ellidyr rides southward,[a] determined to retrieve the cauldron single-handedly. With the Huntsmen abroad, Adaon leads Taran, Eilonwy, Gurgi, Doli, and the wandering bard Fflewddur Fflam in pursuit of Ellidyr. When they are attacked and scattered, Adaon is mortally wounded and Taran inherits his brooch, whose gift and burden is prophetic dreams and visions. With its guidance, he gathers and leads all but Doli toward the Marshes. From the fringe, Taran guides his small party through the Marshes to temporary safety and leads a pursuing band of Huntsmen to their deaths.

Orddu and her sisters refuse to give up the cauldron unless Taran and his companions offer something of, in their judgment, equivalent value. After the sisters reject the magical artifacts offered by his companions, Taran is compelled to barter Adaon’s brooch. The companions then try to destroy the cauldron, but learn from the witches that it can only be destroyed by a living person who knowingly and willingly climbs in to die. Horrified, the companions resolve to take the cauldron to Dallben to seek an alternative solution.

At the ford of the river Tevyn, the heavy and cumbersome cauldron sinks into the riverbed. Ellidyr arrives and offers to help extricate the cauldron if the others will credit him for the whole enterprise. Taran agrees, but Ellidyr reneges on their bargain and rides off with the cauldron alone when they have freed it. The companions then encounter Morgant and his army. In Morgant’s camp they see Ellidyr beaten and bound and realize Morgant has betrayed them, seeking to claim the cauldron for his own and generate his own army of Cauldron-Born to conquer Prydain. Morgant offers to spare the companions’ lives if Taran will enter his personal service. Doli arrives invisibly and cuts the companions’ bonds. Mortally wounded, Ellidyr rushes the cauldron while Taran and the others engage Morgant and forces himself inside, destroying the cauldron. Gwydion, King Smoit, and his army arrive and defeat Morgant in battle. As Taran, Eilonwy, and Gurgi take leave of Gwydion at the verge of Caer Dallben, Gwydion observes that Ellidyr has, in death, found the honor he so dearly sought in life.


I thoroughly enjoyed this. I remembered the uppity prince and his sacrifice but the whole thing with the three witches and the swamp? Didn’t remember that at all. It was rather delightful.

This had a lot of growing for Taran as he is now the one in charge, at least nominally, partway through the story. He begins to realize that being a leader isn’t all swinging swords and glory. It is hard work, it is unrewarding work and it is work that HAS to be done.

I thought the author handled the tension with the forces of Arawn just right. The wolf warriors who grew stronger with each one that was killed were awesome. Sadly, their interaction with Taran and Co wasn’t as fully explored as I could have hoped for. But for a book that is only 108 pages, I can’t really complain. They were scary, they were powerful and Taran managed to outwit or outrun them.

Eilonwy continues to be a really funny character to read. She’s not meant to be funny and it’s not a comic kind of funny, but her absolute conviction that she is right and her I told you so’s just amuse me. She’s the quintessential teenager but without being completely in rebellion to authority. It’s a breath of fresh air to have a heroine who is feisty but can’t lift a sword like Taran. She’s a real female, not a female while actually being a man. She’s certainly not helpless, she just has to approach things differently.

I would say this re-read is going smashingly. Both books so far are 5stars. That’s a really good track record.

★★★★★

Channel - MTG 4th Edition

Sunday, May 14, 2023

Wordpress Reader Issues

No, this won’t be a rant this time, just more of an “by the way, X is happening, be aware”.

WordPress has steadily been messing with the reader that has caused other issues, but I’ve noticed in the last week or so that only the picture of my avatar has been showing up when my posts go to the reader. I did figure out that if I made the book cover a “featured image” that it would show the book cover instead of my avatar. I’m guessing the feeder now shows the biggest image unless there is a feature image? So one problem kind of solved. I can go through all my scheduled posts and give them a featured image.

That however has rippled into other problems. I use the (details)(/details) code to hide my synopsis because sometimes it is outrageously long and nobody needs to scroll through it all. So when I edit a post that is already scheduled that has the (detail) code, WP in its infinite wisdom, strips that code out. So not only do I have to add a “featured image” but I also have to wade through the guts of the post and add the correct code all over again.

Just wanted make you aware of this so if you see all of my posts for the rest of the month showing just my avatar, I didn’t want you to think I was being (completely) egotistical. I’ve started to add the featured image to my already long list of steps that I have to take just to bleeping post here on WP so starting in June it should become a non-issue for any viewers.

Cheers!

The Cause of It All (The Russians) ★★★★☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Cause of It All
Series: (The Russians)
Author: Leo Tolstoy
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 20
Words: 5K

From Bookstooge.blog

A 2 part play about russian peasants and alcohol. The first part is about a husband spending the family’s money on drink instead of buying the stuff his wife asked for.

The second part deals with a thief who stole some food and blames his descent in life on drinking alcohol. The husband and wife get into an argument and the husband ends up giving the thief the food he stole anyway, just to spite his wife.


Being a teetotaler myself, I had zero issues with this morality play. I think drink causes more problems than any comfort or enjoyment it brings. I also believe that impairment begins with the first drink. Which is why I don’t think Christians should drink at all. We are specifically forbidden to get drunk and as such, I’ll err on the side of caution on this issue.

Not much else to say really. Tolstoy makes his feelings on the issue of alcohol pretty clear so it’s not like I have to try to interpret what he’s secretly saying.

I liked this better than Shakespeare’s plays, that’s for sure. Much shorter 😉 And honestly, that cover is pretty cool too. If I had cheekbones and a chin like that, I’d probably be ruling the Social Media World right now. And then I’d be led astray into drinking which would lead to wild debauches and eventually I’d end up on the street, a penniless homeless diabetic, one insulin shot away from death. Man, that was a close call!

★★★★☆