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Title: Conan the Hero
Series:
Conan the Barbarian #22
Author: Leonard
Carpenter
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre:
Fantasy
Pages: 220
Words:
77K
I’ve been in a “mood” recently
and I can tell it has made me much judgier about the books I’m
reading. There has been no mercy dropping gently from the hands of
Bookstooge. Instead, there’s been angry imprecations and authors
scotched. Carpenter isn’t getting scotched like Ngaio Marsh did
yesterday, but he’s on probation for sure.
Carpenter just doesn’t write Conan
like Conan. He’s not indomitable or incredible or anythingable,
he’s just a big guy with a sword who gets lucky a lot. In both
senses of the word. I don’t like that. Conan should be larger than
life. Instead, he’s just stumbling along like a normal Joe. I get
that Carpenter doesn’t want to write Conan like other pastiche
authors, but he’s not even writing him like Howard did for goodness
sake.
The adventures too just kind of happen
and Conan is along for the ride. Instead of being the subject of
something evil and fierce, it’s boring old politics with a dash of
ho-hum magic thrown in to keep it “fantasy”. It is like Carpenter
doesn’t “get” Conan at all. Even Steve Perry with his
disgusting monster girl love interests and stupid 500 year old
wizards wrote Conan as Conan better than this guy. Carpenter is a
loser as far as I’m concerned and if anyone has said anything good
about the Conan books I’ve read of his so far, they are liars and
fatheads. But because I’m so magnanimous, I’m reserving judgment
on the rest of his Conan books until I read them.
I should get an award for being so
nice...
★★✬☆☆
From Wikipedia
Conan and his friend Juma, both
soldiers in the army of Turan, are stationed in the far-off jungles
of Venjipur to defend its beleaguered royal family against the
rebellious Hwong tribe. Both comrades are dissatisfied; they and
those under them have been doing all the fighting, and see no chance
for advancement, as their timid superior officers never risk their
own lives in battle. In one skirmish, Conan rescues a girl named
Sariya from being sacrificed by Mojurna, an evil shaman. This
subsequently leads to trouble, when one of the Turanian officers
attempts to rape her and is killed by Conan.
There are orders for Conan's execution,
but he is the hero of Yaralet and a man whom King Yildiz has his eye
on. However, Yildiz's captain devises a plan to get Conan out of
circulation for a while by sending him deep into enemy territory.
Conan's unit is ambushed, and he calls for reinforcements, only to
have his request denied by one of the officers who has it in for him.
His men defeat their attackers on their own—barely. The wounded
Conan is carried back to camp by Juma. Meanwhile, his enemies plan to
have him disposed of by their corrupt Venjipoorian allies.
Accordingly, Conan is drugged and brought before the duplicitous
Pheng Loon, leader of a Venjipoorian tribe the Turanians are
supposedly there to help. Despite his hallucinations induced by the
drug, Conan is able to throw off its influence and escape.
In segments interspersed with those
detailing the main action, it's revealed that King Yildiz in Agraphur
has his eye on Conan almost literally. His court wizard has kept
Yildiz up-to-date on events in Venjipoor by scrying through a magic
mirror. Also, the king's known enthusiasm for Conan has both fanned
and inhibited his officers' machinations against the Cimmerian. Soon,
Yildiz's intervention partiality results in Conan being summoned back
to Agraphur for a ceremony. However, bureaucratic delays in his
orders give the officers once last chance to try to get him killed.
Again, Conan and Juma's forces are sent deep into rebel territory,
where they're ambushed by numerically superior foes—but again they
turn the tide and win. Their enemies now have no choice but to allow
them to return to the capital.
After a long journey, Conan and Juma
reach Agraphur, where King Yildiz gives Conan a medal and names him a
Hero of Turan. Days of feasting and revelry ensue, to lead up to an
official presentation ceremony. During these festivities, Conan works
to uncover the identities of his enemies. Everything comes to a head
at the ceremony, where Yildiz is menaced by a carnivorous vine sent
by Mojorna. Conan and Juma defend the king against the plant, but
delay destroying it long enough for it to consume the corrupt
officers whose incompetence has cost so many lives in Venjipoor.
Apprised of their plots and soured on foreign conquest, Yildiz
commissions the Cimmerian to take over the Turanian forces in
Venjipoor and set things right. Back in Venjipur, Conan shuts down
the Turanian mission there. He is aided by the fact that Mojurna died
when his plant was destroyed, but this development effectively denies
him Sariya, who has taken the shaman's place as leader of the Hwong.
