Junún Efreet - MTG 4E

 

Now here's a guy who you can tell from the get-go that he wants to rip your heart out and eat it in front of you. And with that glowing cook arm, it'll be nice and tender, like a steak!

[Art] Maiden of Christmas Solstice 2025

 

Even in winter, the sun is still shining...

Servant of the Dragon (Lord of the Isles #3) 3Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Servant of the Dragon
Series: Lord of the Isles #3
Author: David Drake
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Epic Fantasy
Pages: 573
Words: 206K
Publish: 1999

A magical tour-de-force where the adventures never stop. Thankfully, the group isn’t quite as broken up as in Queen of Demons, but man, they do stay apart right up until the very end.

This time it’s a cabal of old time’y wizards who have imprisoned their master and are using the mummified remains of a non-human wizard to power everything. For guys who are powerful enough to raise islands, animate the dead and bridge the multiverse, they are dumb as bricks. Several of them pretty much die from just standing there and looking dumb while guys with swords are running at them, with the obvious intent to kill them. They really weren’t characters in the story, just levers to make the plot clunk along :-D

I think these would have been better novels if Drake had cut them down to about 300+ pages. Get rid of one or two adventures and cut out the “Back in Barka’s Hamlet we….” schtick that every character goes through in every single chapter and easy peasy. It would also help hide the fact that Drake has deliberately made each character a non-character. I’m sure it makes them easier to write, but my goodness, it gets wearing.

I did enjoy this, because like I said, the adventures are non-stop and I was never bored. However, I am glad to stop this for a bit and start reading the Dracula Files again. Aye yi yi, the words that come out of my mouth sometimes….

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia

In the introduction, seven wizards use a mummified reptilian creature to cast a spell to raise Yole from the depths. Meanwhile, the main characters are in Valles, where a magical blue bridge has appeared where there hasn't been a bridge for hundreds of years. Upon seeing it Tenoctris ascertains that while it is dangerous, it is not associated with the evil Throne of Malkar. While investigating the bridge and the mysterious happenings associated with it, a massive bird appears, snatches up Sharina, and disappears with her.

Cashel immediately determines to find Sharina and rescue her. Tenoctris uses her art and determines that whoever sent the bird to kidnap Sharina means her no harm. She sends Cashel to Landure, a wizard on another plane who can help him. Cashel arrives next to an ajar door; a beautiful woman rushes out, pursued by an angry wizard. Cashel fights the wizard, using his quarterstaff, and kills him. The woman, Colva, takes Cashel to Landure's castle where she puts him into a drug-induced stupor through which he discovers that she is actually a demoness. When Cashel recovers, he returns to the body of the wizard, who was in actuality Landure. Cashel discovers that Landure's sapphire ring contains a powerful demon, named Krias. Krias informs Cashel that he must take a small wafer from Landure's body which can be used to animate a new body and bring Landure back—but he must travel through the Underworld to reach Landure's extra bodies. Cashel takes Krias with him. Eventually Cashel reaches the entrance to the third level of the underworld where Colva originally stayed. While there, Cashel eats some of the fruit of the Tree of Life. At Krias' suggestion, Chashel puts one of the fruit in his satchel. Cashel comes to Landure's castle where he puts the wafer under the tongue of one of the paintings of Landure. Cashel gives Krias back to Landure. When Landure begins insulting Cashel, Krias refuses to serve him anymore, prompting Landure to give Krias back to Cashel. In exchange for his freedom from the sapphire, Krias helps Cashel to cross the Chasm and reach Sharina.

Garric, Liane, and Tenoctris stay in Valles to deal with the problem of the bridge. Garric also faces possible rebellion from several lords and bickering among others. Hoping to kill two birds with one stone, Garric assigns Lord Tadai to be ambassador to Sandrakkan. Garric has several dreams about Klestis, a city destroyed at the same time Yole was, and the wizard, Ansalem. Ansalem possessed many objects of power, including a mummy of a reptilian creature, a foot-wide fossilized ammonite, and a powerful amphisbaena. King Carus reveals that he once sought Ansalem's help in unifying the isles, but Ansalem refused. Ansalem had seven acolytes (the most dangerous of which was Purlio) who used the ammonite to imprison him while he was weak after rescuing Klestis from the destruction of Yole. Anselm reveals that he has nothing to do with the bridge, but if he can get his amphisbaena back, he can repair it. Tenoctris determines that she needs to visit a wizard named Alman and borrow his viewing crystal. Katchin the Miller, who raised Cashel, appears begging Garric for a job, but Garric turns him away (and he is later captured by Colva). Tenoctris takes them to the end of time. They find Alman in a ruined city and he discovers that his viewing crystal has been stolen from him. The group returns to their own time, leaving Alman in his solitude. After spending a few days tending to matters of state in Valles, Garric receives news that his uncle has helped someone to kidnap Tenoctris. Garric and some of the Blood Eagles cross through a portal to ancient Klestris, to retrieve her but are thwarted. Before returning to Valles, they rescue a woman who claims that she is Colva, wife of Landure, the Guardian, and warns them that seven necromancers intend to do battle with them. She opines that they have kidnapped Tenoctris in order to sacrifice her and increase their own magical powers. At midnight they cross the bridge which showed up at the beginning of the story, to attack the seven necromancers on Klestis. They are confronted with an army of undead under the control of three necromancers, whom they slay. They find Tenoctris unconscious in Ansalem's chambers. Purlio and another of the acolytes are casting spells on her. Purlio takes the fossil ammonite and merges it with himself, replacing his head with it. Armies of undead begin entering Klestis, coming across bridges similar to the one that first set these events in motion.

Ilna determines that she can be of no further help in Valles, so she negotiates passage to Sandrakkan with Lord Tadai. Ilna reluctantly makes friends with Lord Tadai's niece, Merota. The first night on the ship, Ilna and a tough-looking sailor named Chalcus, witness the beginnings of a mutiny. Ilna tries to warn the captain and Lord Tadai of the imminent mutiny, but they ignore her. The mutiny takes place, as Ilna had warned, and the sailors put everyone except Merota and Ilna ashore on an island. Eventually they arrive at Yole and put ashore. That night they are attacked by a monster. Frightened, the sailors put Ilna, Merota, and Chalcus ashore to reconnaissance. In the interior of the island they discover a harbor bordered by a polis full of reanimated dead people. As they watch, a swarm of Great Ones tow their now-empty ships into the harbor. As they make their way around the island, a creature called the Tall Thing (which was once Ansalemn's child) kidnaps Merota. While pursuing it, Ilna is captured by a wizard named Ewis (one of Ansalem's apprentices) who has the Lens of Rushila. In trying to escape, Ilna releases the Tall Thing which kills and eats Ewis. They meet back up with Chalcus and make their way to the harbor. There they discover that the crews of their ships have been murdered and then reanimated. They flee and spend the night in a cavern. They come to a chasm with a bridge which takes them to a frozen Klestis. There they find Purlio (with his ammonite head) performing incantations using the Dragon. A second necromancer attacks them with three ice beetles. Chalcus defeats the ice beetles while Ilna subdues the necromancer long enough for Merota to bash in his head with a rock. Then they attack Purlio.

Sharina is carried by the bird through several planes of existence, including some which are disturbing and grotesque. Finally it deposits her on a beach next to a forest and promptly disappears. Inside a broken-down temple covered with images of serpents she meets a reptilian creature, the Dragon. He reveals that he has brought her back to the past to send her on a mission to recover his mummy which is being used to raise Yole and reanimate the dead. He gives her a snakeskin which she is to take with her back to her own time. Then she goes through a portal and finds herself centuries into the future. She hires a graceful, large bird-like being, named Dalar, as her bodyguard. The pass through several more portals. The last takes them to Klestis at the time when Ansalem was rescuing it during the destruction of Yole. They climb to Ansalem's chambers where they find his seven acolytes and the Dragon. Ansalem is bound and his son has been vivisected and is being transformed into the Tall Thing.

Sharina and Dalar are locked out, but at that moment Cashel appears and uses his quarterstaff to punch open the door. When they come through, though, instead of the seven necromancers, they find Garric and Tenoctris. Purlio has escaped. Tenoctris casts a spell which takes them to the frozen time where they encounter Purlio as well as Ilna and her companions. Together they defeat Purlio, but he flees and takes refuge in the land of the dead. The companions are whisked back to Ansalem's chambers. There Sharina burns the mummy and gives the snakeskin to Tenoctris—it is from an amphisbaena. While everyone is distracted, Colva attacks and kills Garric. Liane then kills Colva. In the land of the dead, Garric encounters Purlio and severs his connection to the living world, thus killing him completely. Cashel revives Garric using the fruit from the Tree of Life in his satchel. Using the amphisbaena snakeskin, Tenoctris frees Ansalem from the cyst he was trapped in. Ansalem returns everyone to their homes—including Dalar—and then destroys the bridges that connect the different planes of existence.

Major characters

Garric—the Prince of Haft and future Lord of the Isles. His ancestor, King Carus, has taken up residence in his head and aids him in matters of sword and state.
Sharina—Garric's half-sister. The Dragon seeks her help in escaping bondage to seven necromancers.
Cashel—a large, simple shepherd who would be content to be just a sheepherder. He is half human, half sprite. His power is manifest through his use of an iron-ferruled quarterstaff.
Liane—a noblewoman who has some magical abilities and is romantically involved with Garric.
Ilna—Cashel's sister who doesn't feel she fits in with the others due to her past and her unrequited love for Garric. She is half human, half sprite. Her power is manifest through her use of thread and fabric.
Tenoctris—a wizardess from King Carus’ day who accidentally sent herself forward in time when Yole was being sunk into the ocean. Her power comes not from strength in magic, but from careful study and exact execution of spells. She is an atheist.

Minor characters

Alman—a wizard who prefers to live a life of solitude at the end of time
Ansalem the Wise—a powerful wizard from the time of King Carus
Lord Attaper—commander of the Blood Eagles
Celondre—a historical poet, philosopher, and aristocrat (modeled after Horace)
Chalcus—a chanteyman and former pirate who allies himself with Ilna
Colva—a demoness who escapes the Underworld with Cashel's unwitting help
Dalar—a member of the Rokonar and Sharina's bodyguard
Elfin—a human boy kidnapped by the People and taken to the Underworld
Ewis—one of Ansalem's apprentices
Harn—a spider-like creature which guards a bridge on Yole
Katchin—Cashel's sycophantic, self-serving uncle
Krias—a powerful demon imprisoned inside Landure's sapphire ring
Landure—a wizard on another plane, guardian of the Underworld
Count Lerdoc—ruler of Blaise
Merota—Lord Tadai's niece
Mykon—a prince who lived on Cordin before the sinking of Yole
Purlio of Mnar—principle acolyte of Ansalem the Wise and a powerful wizard in his own right who surrenders himself to one of the Great Ones
Reise—Garric's adoptive father
Lord Royhas—Garric's royal chancellor
Lord Tadai—Garric's Royal Treasurer and later Ambassador of the Prince to Sandrakkan
Tiglath—the captain of a brothel-barge
King Valence—current Lord of the Isles
Vonculo—sailing master of The Terror and a mutineer
Earl Wildulf—ruler of Sandrakkan

• Servant of the Dragon (2013 Review)

The 300% Solution (Groo the Wanderer #47) 3.5Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The 300% Solution
Series: Groo the Wanderer #47
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 25
Words: 2K
Publish: 1989

Everybody Groo has met over the years come together to overcome all obstacles and steal the fabled Starburst Sapphire, in a mythical tower guarded by monsters, traps, eternal soldiers and plain old magic. Everything is spearheaded by Arcadio, the blond charismatic barbarian. He lets Groo be his lackey and Groo, all by himself, ends up hiring the Sage, Arba and Darkarba (the witches) and his old enemy Taranto the mercenary. Arba and Darkarba end up hiring Grativo the sorcerer, while Arcadio has hired Grooella. Everybody has been promised 50% of the Starburst Sapphire. Groo kills everything and everybody starts arguing about how THEY get 50%. So Groo throws down the jewel and breaks it into pieces so everybody can divvy it up. The comic ends with everybody chasing Groo, trying to kill him.

Ahhh, classic Groo!

From the title and as soon as Groo promises the Sage 50%, you know what is going to happen. There is never any doubt that Groo WILL get the Sapphire because when it comes to a quest, Groo just can’t fail. He just never succeeds like a normal person and thus it is here, hahahaha.

I’ve included the opening double page spread because once again Aragones sets the entire mood for the comic here. And my goodness, the artwork is just gawgeous, gawgeous I say!

★★★✬☆

• All of My “Groo the Wanderer” Reviews

Witches Abroad (Discworld #12) 4Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Witches Abroad
Series: Discworld #12
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 202
Words: 81K

I enjoyed this, had almost no problems with the philosophy presented by Pratchett and just watched as the story unfolded before me. This is how ALL of Pratchett’s stories should be. So I will appreciate it when it happens.

★★★★☆

From Wikipedia.org

Following the death of the witch Desiderata Hollow, Magrat Garlick receives Desiderata's magic wand, for Desiderata was not only a witch but also a fairy godmother. By giving the wand to Magrat, she effectively makes Magrat the new fairy godmother to a young woman called Emberella, who lives across the Disc in Genua. Unfortunately, Desiderata does not give Magrat any instruction on how to use the wand, so almost everything that Magrat points it at simply becomes a pumpkin.

Desiderata had promised a servant girl (providing a twist on Cinderella) named Emberella that she would not be forced to marry the Duc, the figurehead leader of Genua, who is in actuality really a frog, transformed by the magic of Emberella's other fairy godmother, Lady Lilith de Tempscire. Now it is up to Magrat and her companions, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, to ensure Emberella does not marry the Duc, despite the desires of Lilith, who wishes to ensure a 'happy ending' by utilizing the Discworld's narrative-based nature - because the servant girl marrying the Prince makes for a happy fairy tale, Lilith reasons that on the Disc, this must hold true as well, whether the marriage is consensual or not.

The trio of witches journey to Genua, which takes some time and involves numerous mis-adventures, such as an encounter with a village terrorised by a Vampire (where Nanny Ogg's cat Greebo catches it in bat form and eats it), an incident where they encounter a Running of the Bulls-like event, and a house falling on Nanny's head which she survives thanks to her hat with the willow reinforcement. Upon arrival in Genua, Magrat goes to meet Emberella, while the two older witches meet Erzulie Gogol, a voodoo witch and her zombie servant, Baron Saturday (who was also her late lover).

It is at this time that Magrat finds out that Emberella has two fairy godmothers, Magrat and Lilith. It was Lilith who had manipulated many of the various stories that the Witches had traveled through and who was now manipulating Genua itself, wrapping the city around her version of the Cinderella story. Lilith has had people arrested for crimes against stories, including the arrest of a toymaker for not being jolly, not whistling and not telling the children stories. At this point it is revealed that Lilith is actually Lily, Granny Weatherwax's older sister. The trio learn that she is planning a masked ball where-in Emberella is supposed to meet the Duc.

Using hypnosis, Granny convinces Magrat to attend the masked ball in place of Emberella. Greebo is transformed into human form to aid the witches. Emberella's dress fits, but the glass slippers do not. After enjoying themselves for a while at the ball, the witches are discovered and are cast into a dungeon.

At that point, Emberella, Mrs. Gogol and Baron Saturday arrive at the ball, having broken the witches out of their prison with the aid of Cassanunda (a dwarf and the Disc's second greatest lover). A high concentration of magic causes the Duc to revert to his frog form, and he is trampled by Baron Saturday, causing Lily to flee. Granny starts to follow, but Mrs. Gogol, wanting to kill Lily, tries to stop Granny by using a voodoo doll. Granny thrusts her arm into a flaming torch and preys upon Mrs. Gogol's own belief in the power of the doll to make it burst into flames. Granny Weatherwax then pursues Lily.

Emberella is informed that, as the daughter of the late Baron Saturday, the previous ruler of Genua, she is now Duchess of Genua. Her first command is to end the ball (she dislikes them) and attend the Mardi Gras parade, a form of binge-drinking carnival.

Granny manages to defeat Lily by trapping her in a mirror, unable to 'find herself', and the three witches return home. Granny shows Magrat how to use the wand to do magic, and that it takes more than wishing - the secret is that there are adjustable dials on the wand. Magrat throws the wand into a river, to be lost forever. Then the Witches go home, the long way, and see the elephant.

• Witches Abroad (2007 Review)

• All of My “Discworld” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Rincewind” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Witches” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: Death” Reviews

• All of My “Discworld: The Watch” Reviews

The Phoenix on the Sword (Conan Chronicles #1) 3Stars

 

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Phoenix on the Sword
Series: Conan Chronicles #1
Author: Robert Howard
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 27
Words: 9K
Publish: 1932

After my last Conan pastiche (Conan and the Mists of Doom), which was horrible, like several of the previous pastiches, I gave up. When one sours on pastiches, it usually means it is time to return to the original material. I had read The Essential Conan (comprising The Hour of the Dragon, People of the Black Circle and Red Nails) back in ‘18 and thoroughly enjoyed it. But trying to track down the other original Conan stories seemed like a real chore, as it was a mix of short stories, novellas and novels and they were scattered all over the place and in various collections by various companies at various times. It was a gigantic ball of messiness and I wanted nothing to do with it. Reading is meant to be fun, not a flipping second job. Then I discovered that Delphi Classics had released one of those Complete Collections of Robert Howard and suddenly I was on easy street. That collection has all his other stuff too, but the Conan stories are linked in the TOC by publication date, so I just have to click on that and I am set.

Which brings us to now. I am going to read all of the original Conan stuff by Howard, story by story, and take my time enjoying the pulpy goodness of it all. I am dividing these up into three different categories: Short Stories, Novellas and Novels. I am calling any story with 10K or less of words a short story while a Novella will be 10K-40K and a Novel will be anything over 40K. Of course, the lines are all squishy, so I might take page numbers into account too, but that gives you the general idea. There are only two full novels and approximately nineteen short stories and novellas. That means I’ll be reading a lot more short stories about Conan over the next couple of years. And with that long winded introduction out of the way, onto the actual review.

This short story takes place much later in Conan’s career. He is currently king of Aquilonia (the big cheese kingdom) and several nobles are trying to depose him. One of them has a pet wizard who breaks free and summons a demon to kill all the nobles (for how they looked down on him) and Conan so that said wizard can become king. Well, there’s another Good Wizard ™ sleeping away in limbo and he summons Conan in a dream and gives him a magic sword that allows him to slay the demon. Thus Conan stays king of Aquilonia.

It is kind of odd to start off with Conan nearer the end of his life than at the beginning, but Howard never allows us to forget that Conan is still a powerful barbarian. It also sets out the template for Conan stories. Some disgruntled people, some magic, some regular fighting, some magic fighting and then Conan kicking butt. The magic also has hints of the cosmic horror about it, which just fits so much better into this Hyborean age than bleeding Merlin with his disneyfied bippity boppity boo.

Thoth-Amon would have their guts for garters...

We are also introduced to Thoth-Amon, a wizard of dark Stygia who plays a role in more than one pastiche. He is the one that summons the demon and his fate is left unresolved, unlike the plotters who all die at the claws of the demon or Conan’s sword.

While I only gave this 3stars, I was still pretty pleased with it. Howard gives us all of the information we need for “this” story with just hints at the wider world of Conan without over burdening the reader. Reading a short story by itself is whole different beast than reading a novel or a whole series of novels or even a whole book of short stories. As such, you’ll have to give me a few stories to find my review footing, as it were. My standard rating will be 3stars until I have a better grasp of Conan as a whole and can be a bit more nuanced, if I feel like it. Or I might just stick with my more typical “I liked/disliked it, the end” kind of review.

I am also calling these official Howard stories about Conan the “Conan Chronicles” to easily separate them from all the Conan the Barbarian pastiches I’ve been reading. It is messy and the organizational part of my soul winces, but I do not want the official stories mixed in with the pastiches. I am including a link under my avatar at the end to all the pastiches though, so if someone wants to they can see what a minefield they have to navigate.

I was able to find an actual cover for this one. Most of what I found was the Weird Stories magazine cover that it was originally in. I hope to have an actual cover for each story, but am not counting on it. I’m certainly not going to be generating my own, even though that would be really nice.

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia

A middle-aged Conan of Cimmeria tries to govern the turbulent kingdom of Aquilonia.

Conan has recently seized the crown from King Numedides after strangling the tyrant on his throne, but the Cimmerian is more suited to swinging his broadsword than signing official documents. The Aquilonians who originally welcomed Conan as their liberator have turned against him due to his foreign blood, and construct a statue to Numedides' memory in the temple of Mitra; priests burn incense before their slain king, hailing it as the holy effigy of a saintly monarch who was killed by a red-handed barbarian.

A band known as the Rebel Four forms: Volmana, the dwarfish count of Karaban; Gromel, the giant commander of the Black Legion; Dion, the fat baron of Attalus; and Rinaldo, the hare-brained minstrel. Their goal is to put the crown in the hands of someone with royal blood, and to this end they recruit the services of a southern outlaw named Ascalante. However, Ascalante secretly plans to betray his employers and claim the crown. Ascalante also enslaves Thoth-Amon, a Stygian wizard who has fallen on hard times: A thief had stolen Thoth-Amon's ring and left him defenseless, forcing him to flee from Stygia; while disguised as a camel driver, he was waylaid in Koth by Ascalante's reavers. The rest of his caravan was slaughtered, but Thoth-Amon saved himself by revealing his identity and swearing to serve Ascalante.

The conspirators plan to assassinate King Conan when he is unprepared and defenseless, but Thoth-Amon discovers that his ring of power is in Dion's possession, murders him and summons a fanged ape-like demon to slay Ascalante. Conan in turn is warned of this event in a dream by a long-dead sage named Epemitreus, who marks Conan's sword with a mystical phoenix representing Mitra, a Hyborian god. Conan awakens and, prepared for the attack, slays the three remaining members of the Rebel Four, breaking his sword upon the helm of Gromel and using a battle-axe against the rest of his would-be assassins. Conan hesitates to kill Rinaldo, whose songs once touched the King's heart - this scruple proves costly, as Rinaldo manages to stab him before being killed. Ascalante, his goal in reach, moves to finish off the wounded king, but is killed by Thoth-Amon's demon before he can strike, and the demon is then slain by Conan with the shard of his enchanted sword.

Conan's courtiers hesitate to believe his tale, as the demon has evaporated, until they spot the shape its blood has left on the floor.

• The “Essential Conan” Trilogy

• All of My “Conan the Barbarian” Reviews

• All of My “Conan Chronicles” Reviews

Jump - MTG 4E

 

Now how awesome is that? A swordsman is jumping up and over the castle wall just to try to kill you. You HAVE to admire the guts that takes ;-) This is one of the instantly recognizable cards to anybody who was playing back then. It was used a lot because it was so effective and so cheap. And it gave you a really good feeling when you played it and your opponent had no flyers and so you smashed him in the face with your biggest creature :-D Now that was good old fashioned Magic...