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Title:
Jane Austen: Jack and Alice
Series:
----------
Author: Jane Austen
Rating:
3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Satire
Pages:
33
Words: 6K
Publish: 1787
Oh, another
delightful read. Jack and Alice are brother and sister and Jack is
only mentioned because he dies of being so drunk. Alice is wanting
the local godbod boy but doesn’t get him.
This was
just so over the top. Drunkards, drama, steel traps, insta-healing.
Austen really laid it on thick and it just hit my funny bone. This
was caricature in the humorous vein, laid on very thick.
My only
issue was with being so short, there were a great many people and I
did lose track of who was who for several parts. In fact, I had to
read this twice to figure out who the “Jack” in the title is
because he is such a non-character in the story :-D
What I
enjoyed most about this, humor aside, what that I could see the
barest flashes of just who Austen was turning into as an author. The
eggs were unbroken, sitting on the counter, and I could tell that one
day they would turn into lovely and delicious scrambled eggs. There
was a pig out in the yard that would one day turn into bacon to go
along with those scrambled eggs. Finally, I could see the wheat out
in the fields, just about ready for harvest, which would then be
turned into bread and then into toast upon which I would heap my eggs
and bacon. The pre-ingredients were here and it was fun to spot them.
Finally,
that cover. It is a 100% disgrace. It looks like some young adult
romance trash instead of the comedic send up that this story is.
While I would never read a book based on this cover, if I were the
kind of reader who did and I read this, I would cry foul and I would
cry it loudly. I might even get up and start some sort of petition!
Oh, you all were barely saved from an “online petition”.
*insert
eye roll
★★★☆☆
From
Coursehero.com
Jane
Austen dedicates "Jack and Alice" to Francis William
Austen (1774–1865). Francis William Austen was Jane Austen's
brother who at the time served as a midshipman on board the H.M.S.
Perseverance which
was a British Royal Navy warship. The story is divided into nine
chapters. The first chapter begins with Mr. Johnson deciding to throw
a masquerade party for his 55th birthday. He invites his short list
of friends and acquaintances which includes Lady Williams, Mr.
Jones and Mrs. Jones, Charles Adams, and Sukey Simpson and her two
sisters. Mr. Johnson and his guests all live in a neighborhood called
Pammydiddle. The most admired guest at the party is Charles Adams who
is "so dazzling a Beauty that none but Eagles could look him in
the Face." Everyone at the party is particularly amazed by a
male guest who appears to wear a mask that represents the sun. The
sunbeams that come from the eyes are so bright that no one can look
directly at the mysterious masked man. The man half closes his eyes
and is revealed to be Charles Adams who is not wearing a mask at all.
He is simply too overwhelmingly attractive that no one is able to
look directly at his face. The guests enjoy a night of "elegant
& well managed Entertainment" after which they all head home
"Dead Drunk."
The
people of Pammydiddle continue to talk about the masquerade party for
three months afterward. The presence of Charles Adams at the party is
the most popular topic of conversation. Almost all the ladies
and Alice Johnson in particular desire him. Alice has had a
bit too much wine and decides to distract herself from her thoughts
of Charles by visiting her friend Lady Williams. Lady Williams has
experienced too much misery at the hands of her first love and thus
avoids engaging in any more romance. She proceeds to tell Alice a
story which abruptly ends after the two women repeatedly disagree
over whether a woman can have "too much colour." However,
their disagreement is short-lived because Lady Williams views Alice's
conduct as a result of the young lady's inebriation and Alice simply
has too much respect for Lady Williams to stay angry for long. The
two women go for a walk a few days later that leads to Charles
Adams's horse pond and notice a young woman "lying apparently in
great pain" under a citron tree. The young woman named Lucy
shares with Lady Williams and Alice the unfortunate story of how she
ended up in her current predicament. Lucy is an extremely
accomplished young woman from North Wales. She has lived for the past
eight years with her mother's sister who provided her with renowned
instructors. Under their instruction Lucy learned "Dancing,
Music, Drawing & various Languages." Lucy says that she led
a happy life until the last few months. Charles Adams visited his
estate in her neighborhood in Wales and Lucy was so enchanted by the
handsome young man that she wrote him a letter offering him her hand
in marriage. Charles responded with "an angry & peremptory
refusal." Lucy says that she assumed that Charles's refusal
might be due to his modesty and thus continued to write to him but
she received no response. Charles soon left the country so Lucy
followed him which is how she ended up in her present situation. Her
leg got stuck in a steel trap when she entered Charles's grounds. His
servants heard her screams and released her from the trap but not
before her leg was completely broken. Alice and Lady Williams are
moved to tears and sympathy upon hearing Lucy's story and Lady
Williams immediately proceeds to set Lucy's leg "with great
skill" despite the fact that she had never performed such an
operation. Alice is quite taken with the beautiful and elegant Lucy.
Lady Williams informs Lucy to be wary of Alice because Alice drinks
too much but insists that Alice is a charming and sweet woman whom
she deeply adores.
The
narrator of "Jack and Alice" says that at this point she
must mention Alice's brother Jack who is "the Hero of this
Novel." She says she has had little opportunity to speak of Jack
due to his constant state of inebriation which eventually led to his
death. The narrator returns then to Alice who is still desperate for
a union with Charles and asks her father to go to Charles with a
proposal. Charles gives a lengthy response in which he rejects the
offer because he is "a perfect beauty." He claims, "I
expect nothing more in my wife than my wife will find in
me—Perfection." Alice is disappointed at Charles's refusal but
soon drinks away her troubles. Meanwhile Lucy is "conquering
every heart at Bath" and has forgotten Charles "with
tolerable Ease." She writes to Lady Williams about a marriage
proposal she has received from an elderly gentleman "of noble
fortune." Lady Williams returns her correspondence with a
confusing note in which she simultaneously urges Lucy to marry the
gentleman and to reject his proposal and come live with her even
though she cannot afford it. Lucy never receives her friend's advice
because she dies before the letter arrives. Sukey Simpson whom Lucy
lives with feels "Envy & Malice" toward Lucy and has
poisoned her. Meanwhile in Pammydiddle everyone is surprised to find
that Charles Adams intends to marry. They are shocked when Charles
marries Lady Williams.
