Imperatoris Chronicorum VIII - Pumpkinius Festivalus

 

Yes, this post is mostly about the Pumpkin Festival, but there was a whole week leading up to it. So pull out those pistols, 'cause we're going to go so fast that we MUST be breaking some laws, and any self-respecting outlaw knows they need a pistol. So load up cowboys!

Sunday I was helping my brother move a new wood stove. 600 pound monster (275kg) that took 3 of us to move, with a moving dolly. I felt like He-Man afterwards, hahahahaa.

Monday was an Oh Yeaaaaah day. Because eggnog is now on sale! You know life is good when you can drink eggnog on a Monday afternoon. Not even work could put a damper on that.

Tuesday was Date Night for the month. We went to a burger joint of all places, and it was even Mrs B's idea. It's a local place that does a few kinds of burgers and sides, really well. Mrs B got the poutine (gravy covered french fries) along with the veggieburger and I got the weekly special, the Country Fair burger. That consists of, according to their website and I can verify it, "Our Fresh Ground Seasoned Burger topped with a Whole Hotdog, American Cheese and French Fries on our signature toasted bun with Ketchup and Mustard". Date Night was a smashing success this month.

Wednesday I had to take off from work because we needed our furnace cleaned and serviced for the upcoming winter. I was looking at our records and it has been QUITE a while since it was last done, so it was more of a necessity than one of those "oh, that's a good idea" kind of things. Once that was done I did all those things I usually save for after work like going to the bank, the pharmacy, the boot store, that kind of thing. Get them all done in one whack instead of spacing them out. Of course, I had a couple glasses of eggnog to help sugar me through the day, so it was yet another fine day :-) and I didn't have to go to work. I think that was the best part, hahahahaa.

Thursday was sunny and work went well and I felt GOOD.

And Friday was the main Event, the Pumpkin Festival! This scary looking fellah was painted on a window and he got a lot of attention.

The Pumpkin Festival just isn't complete until you've seen a Man and his Pig, snuffling along, just itching to be petted and scritched (the pig, not the man). That'll do Pig, that'll do.

And what's better than a Man and his Pig? A skeleton dog driving an old time'y car of course! I mean, it goes without saying.

For the more discriminating tastes amongst us, we have the arts and crafts section of the Pumpkin Festival. Nothing says "I'm wicked scary" like a bedazzled skull grinning at you! Sadly, I didn't see any that had one glowing eye, so there was no Bookstooge Skull of Power to be had.

Once you've wandered around, it's time to eat. I had a pepperoni calzone and Mrs B had this scrumptious home made cinnamon bun with pumpkin icing and pumpkin seeds. By the time I'd remembered I was taking pictures, I'd already eaten 3/4 of my calzone, and NOBODY needs to see the devoured corpse of a pepperoni calzone.

When you are done eating, you do the right thing and throw you garbage away in the provided trash bins. Obviously, the trash bin on the right has an old russian soul. I commiserated with it, in silence.

Then to help aid in digestion, you walk around and look at people. The Pumpkin Festival always has characters. The Man and his Pig are just the tip of the iceberg. This year we had someone in a full ghilly suit (a military suit used by snipers to hide out in plain sight to whack baddies like the former President of Iran). I saw them walking around and thought they were trying for a Cousin It impression. Then you have the opposite end of the spectrum like the people in the second picture. They made their own staffs and put glow in the dark lights on them and walked around in their capes. Characters, that is what they were, and the Pumpkin Festival was just full of characters!

The the exciting end to the evening. A firetruck puts its ladder up to the second story of town hall and a fireman runs up the ladder waving a pumpkin flashlight, as everyone screams and hollers and loses their collective minds, and then he "lights" the great pumpkin, which is shown in the featured image. Then all the young people eat more food and make lots more noise while us more mature folk head home and get ready for bed. A good time was had by all.

Imperatoris Chronicorum VII

 

This was a peculiar week. But not even regularly peculiar, but in fits and jerks.

Sunday was pretty typical. Church, chores and blogging. I drank a couple of Starbucks Mocha Frappucinos and all that sugar allowed me to stay awake all the way until 10:30pm.

Monday was Labor Day, so I had the day off. Mrs B works retail so she didn't have the day off. It was bright and sunny and I spent the entire day inside, on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls and blogging massive amounts (10+ posts). I'd say it was good relaxation for my body, but with another two bottles of Mocha Frappucinos, well, that's a lot of "healthy" sugar and caffeine.

Work. Well, work. My co-worker's wife is expecting their first kid and he's thinking about nothing but that. He's taking his car to job sites, which means I have to drive the work van. Oh, I hate that pig of a van. And when I wasn't working with my usual co-worker, I was working with Slow Boy 2.0. He drives the van, but my goodness, jobs take twice as long when he's involved. Scuttlebutt is that he's not long with the company. Given his slow track record, I'm not surprised. It just made the week a bit miserable, having to work with him :-/

And then today. It is the 25th Anniversary of 9/11. My co-worker was 4 years old when it happened and now he and his wife are having a kid. I think this might be the last year I do a remembrance post. I remember as a kid seeing "Pearl Harbor Day" on the calendar and wondering why that was on the calendar. What did Pearl Harbor have to do with the world I was living in then? And while I hate to say it, that unborn kid is going to grow up and 9/11 is going to be as historical to him as Pearl Harbor was to me. While I will continue to remember 9/11, I'm choosing to let it fully slide into history. I've arrived at this point over the years and that is reflected in the various remembrance posts where I've thought and remembered and pondered. It doesn't hurt anymore to remember that day. It is time to let the past be the past. I'm ready to accept that now.

On a much more positive note, this month Mrs B and I celebrate 18 years of marriage. We're celebrating tonight so I won't be home when this goes live. I'll be responding to comments tomorrow. We're doing our usual Cheesecake Factory run and there is a very good chance that when this post goes live that I'll be in the middle of eating some cheeseburger spring rolls while I wait for my shepherds pie with extra mashed potatoes to be cooked.

I shower you all with blessings of beneficence and cheer. See you tomorrow!

Imperatoris Chronicorum VI

 

I had plans for this post. Then I got a pinched nerve in my back and I've concentrated on getting through work. Went to the doctor's office and he prescribed some muscle relaxant and physical therapy. I am not a fan of experiencing this part of life. At all.
(Thankfully, at this time (Thursday evening), I am doing ok so I decided to forge ahead with what I was planning on originally going to write about. )

Last year sometime, Mr Zip introduced the newest recruit into the Bookstooge Army, Private Plant. This teenage long haired hippy got himself a haircut, a 5second bootcamp session and a fighting knife. Private Plant was ready to go to war!

Well, not quite. Apparently Private Plant had stuffed some socks down her pants to fool the recruiter (oh doesn't Mr Zip feel foolish now!) and of course the inevitable happened. A baby spiderplant was born, amazing! And for once, Dictator Xi Jinping (who as we all know by now humps goats) had nothing to do with it. Double amazing!

Mr Zip consented to be godfather to the baby and here's a nice picture of the whole family. My, hasn't Mama grown! She used to be in that little yellow container, where baby now is.

and so, with that cheerful and happy picture in your mind, I send you off into the weekend, knowing that "Life Finds A Way!"

Imperatoris Chronicorum V

 Most of this week has been taken up with preparing for Mrs B's trip to visit her family. She does so much around our place that when we started planning out the week for when she would be gone, I suddenly realized how much I was going to have to take on. So of course I "encouraged" her to do as much as she could ahead of time so I wouldn't have to, hahahahaa. Being Mr B to her Mrs B is fantastic.

The other thing I concentrated on was sleeving up the latest iteration of Magic the Gathering. This set was all about Marvel Superheroes and Villains.

Each deck consists of 100 cards, so that's a total of 400 cards. That's a lot of work. I've done this before with other sets (Warhammer 40K, Lord of the Rings, etc) and always had someone else to help me. I did one deck each evening and let me tell you, sitting in a hard backed chair putting little pieces of cardboard into little pieces of plastic was boring. Satisfying but boring. It was like doing laundry. It needs to be done and I do it every Sunday, but I do NOT look forward to it :-D

Now, I do get to put those little pieces of pretty cardboard into little pretty pieces of plastic. I could just use just black sleeves, but half the fun is getting a sleeve color to match the deck. I've got Green for the Dr Doom, Blue for Fantastic Four, Black for Wakanda Forever and Silver for the Avengers. The little touches, while not necessary, really move this from a chore to a FUN chore, hehehehe.

The second part of deck'ing is the case you put them in. I usually use clear cases so I can see the Commander, ie, the face card of the deck. However, for these specialty releases, I like to play the decks only against each other. I only play the Warhammer 40K decks against each other, the Lord of the Rings against each other and now, just the Marvel Heroes decks against each other. My problem is that I have a cupboard of over 50 commander decks. Pawing through 50 decks isn't fun and really ruins the pre-game vibe. So these nice green deck cases are easy to see and pick out for when I want a little Magic Marvel action.

On Wednesday, as chronicled by AAA (that stands for Awesome As Alex), Canada set itself on fire and then invaded the United States. The sky was filled with smoke. The picture above is one my coworker took at 10am on the jobsite we were working at. We worked for an hour or so, then went inside one of the buildings that had AC and just breathed clean air for a bit. We could taste it and feel it coating our throats. It was extremely unpleasant. Thankfully it cleared up by Thursday and it was blue skies then.

And now it is Friday evening and Mrs B has arrived safely at her destination. I had the day off since I had to take her to the airport early and I picked up some Mr Mac's Cheeseburger Deluxe . It might be summer, but when I go batch'ing it, Mr Macs is essential to my single's lifestyle. The other essential part of my single's lifestyle will be to live the next week exactly the same as I always do. Just by myself.

I have a feeling I will be talking to myself, out loud, a lot over the coming week. The tv will also be on most evenings to give me the sense that I'm not by myself, even though I know I will be.

Lest you think I will be a sniveling wretch, let me assure you that I won't be. I will enjoy this truly alone time, because I know it isn't permanent. It has a specific end date and so I will be soaking in the solitude like Superman soaking in the rays of the sun :-D

See you all on the flipside.

Imperatoris Chronicorum IV

 Well, it's been a full week and I've been busy as usual saving the World from Bad Books and Bad Authors. It's a necessary job, but rather thankless and at times, like around midnight when the moon is rising and I'm sitting on the rooftops overlooking the Big Town of X which is under my protection, I wonder. Is it really worth it? Do the citizens of X, or the World for that matter, appreciate the sacrifices I make on their behalf? Do they even CARE? Maybe they DESERVE those bad books. But then my sacred duty as a Gatekeeper comes to the fore and I remember that I chose this life as the Dark Book Crusader. Resolve strengthened, I can continue on with my job. And every once in a while, there is some appreciation.

I was talking with Nancy about this subject in one of my recent posts and she was kind enough to send this wonderful award. It is my first TAGA and I will cherish it deeply. It's the little things like this that keep me moving forward instead of curling up in a ball like a little soiboi. Nancy, while the Big Town of X will never know how close they came to being over-run by bad books and how close to utter destruction they were, this award was the edge I needed in my secret war and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

After something as momentous as that, it's kind of hard to transition back into talking about my regular secret identity life, you know? But secret wars hidden in the shadows of midnight don't come cheap and I have bills to pay. So onward to the humdrum and ordinary, da da dum!

Deary Diary,
Sunday it was almost 90degrees and it was sooooooo hot. But because I'm a cheap yankee, I refused to turn on the air conditioner. Instead I turned on the little window fan and felt good about the 3dollars I saved on our electrical bill. Mrs B told me to turn off the fan and stop being a drama queen, because, in her words "it was only 90 degrees'. Well I never! I totes would have unSpaced her on my Instatokagram account, but neither of us have that, so I couldn't. But I would have! That'll teach her a lesson. Ooohhhh, burn!
After not talking to each other for like, you know, FOREVAH, 5minutes later we made up and decided to go eat at Teriyaki Madness. I was like all "Girl, you know you'll like it" and she was all like "Boy, you know I will". How can I stay mad at someone who gets me and so deeply understands the secrets of my heart? Its like we are soulmates, destined to be together FOREVAH!!! Love is rice, chicken and tofu.

Captain's Log, Monday, month Centurion in the Year of the Cylons

*blaring alarms
*red flashing lights

Captain Bookie: "Number One, are the Cylons attacking? Prepare the warp torpedos and reverse their polarity! They'll never know what hit them!"

First Mate: "Captain, it's just your alarm, it's time to wake up."

Captain Bookie: "You know, land surveying would be a whole lot easier if I could just warp torpedo all of nature and pave the whole planet."

First Mate: "But Captain, think of the little squirrels!"

Captain Bookie: "Oh, I am!"
*insert laugh track

*fast forward several hours

Captain Bookie: "First Co-Worker, reverse the polarity on your machete and chop down that tree. It will never know what hit it!"

First Co-Worker: "Aye aye El Capitan!"

Captain Bookie: "Wut, wut!? This is Space America!!!! We only speak Space American here!!! None of your filthy space commie lingo around here!"

First Co-Worker: "ha. ha. ha. I kid Captain Bookie, I kid."

Captain Bookie: "What a jokester! What will these wacky kids do next?"

*pan back, show Captain Bookie, First Co-Worker and four random people all patting each other on the back and laughing uproariously

and thus ends this episode of "As the Total Station Turns". Tune in tomorrow when Captain Bookie gets an ouchie and swears for 10minutes straight.

"Is it Tuesday? I can't tell, I've lost track of time, I'm so confused!"

*looks into camera

"I'm hot on the trail of the Cursed Sub Sandwich. I've heard that if you eat it, on a very hot day, it will either kill you or make you invincible. Just yesterday I met someone who claimed to have eaten one and they weren't dead, so the legend must be true, it just must be!"

*camera jiggles all over the place, the words "Market Basket" vaguely appear in the background, muttered whisperings are barely audible

"I've DONE IT!!!!!!!!! It has taken me all week, but I ATE THE SANDWICH!!!! And I'm not dead. I am INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*camera crashes to the ground
a grotesquely swollen head appears in view
and then explodes
battery symbol glows in red and then there is nothing but static....

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you today, Wednesday May 10th, and hope this letter finds you well. Now I realize you don't know me from Adam, but let me hasten to assure that this is not a spam letter (no, I am NOT a Nigerian Prince) nor is it a form lettre (see that mispelling? Pure human did that) and finally, this is not a chain letter (nobody has to die, I promise).
What this letter is is an opportunity, for you! An opportunity to impress your neighbors, your friends, even your coworkers. Do you have a hobby that you talk about? You do? Well, stop it. Nobody cares about your *bleeping Corvette and the solenoid this and the clutch that. Seriously.
I realize this might sound not quite like an opportunity, but if you want to stay alive, which seems like a great opportunity to me, please follow these steps:
1) Shut. Up.
Yes, it is that simple. Just shut your flipping mouth.
Sincerely,
The Imperator formerly known as the Prince of Nigeria

*carnival music & lights flashing Thursday! Thursday! All Day, Every Day! Thursday! Thursday! Thursday!

Come one, come all, today's your lucky day! Roll the golden dice and see what you win! Could be a yacht! Could be a penny. Could be anything in between! Roll the dice and see what Fate has in store for you this evening.

*middle aged Sweet Summer's Child walks by

Sir, yes, you sir! You look like a cunning and discerning man of the world. Would you care to roll the golden dice and see what fate has in store for you? Just sign on this dotted line and away you go, the whole world ahead of you.

*middle aged Sweet Summer's Child rolls the dice around in his hand, the pulls out a gun and shoots the suspicious looking carnival barker's hat off, revealing a set of horns

"Sorry, old Scratch. I've already had dinner with my wife and two dear friends from church. I have everything I need right now. But I'm always willing to spread the love of lead if you'd like some!"

*the devil disappears in a puff of smoke

The moral of this story? Be content with the little things you have and you won't have to worry about being tempted by the things that will just make you miserable.
~from Bookstooge's Fables

"The Sabbath is coming, the Sabbath is coming!"
~Bookstooge Revere informing the Colonists that the Sabbath was coming

The only thing that got me through the day was knowing that the Sabbath was coming and that I could just stop then. It's been in the 90's and muggy all week and I finally caved and turned on the A/C, just to dry out the air. Work has sucked the life out of me in this weather, but even though I've been going to bed early, I then tend to wake up early (3-4am) and that makes for a very long day. I have no plans this evening and if I'm lucky, I'll be asleep by 8pm and stay asleep until 7 or 8 tomorrow.

Blessed Sabbath to you all!

Imperatoris Chronicorum III

 

Here we go, another thrilling post where Imperator Bookstooge wows you with thrills and chills and amazes you with his Indiana Jones style adventures. Oh wait, that's that other blog. Here we just sit around on the couch and complain about those kids playing their music too loud. Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Sunday started out like most Sundays, waking up about 6am. Have a lazy morning of blogging and sipping on a rockstar, deciding what sounds good for breakfast. That first choice of the week is the most important after all. We made our daily run to the local grocery store for donuts or apple turnovers and then we headed to church. All I can say is thank goodness for my Loop ear plugs! Those drums were LOUD. We had a little going away party for one of the families, who are moving to the deep south. Once we got home it was lunch, chores and then Mrs B took off for work. I continued the chores theme while doing blogging and watching tv. Sunday afternoon is the time I watch tv. That's it, so while I don't actually care that much WHAT I watch, I just like the routine of it.

Monday, I woke up with a food hangover. Because I'm by myself for Sunday afternoon and evenings, I tend to overeat and for whatever reason, it always makes me feel terrible Monday mornings. I blame the diabetes, even if my sugars stay good. The job for the day didn't help, as we were pretty much thrown a folder and told "figure it out" by the Company President. The site itself was covered in poison ivy. Most of the big pine trees had the 2inch thick hairy vines that are the signature of mature poison ivy. When we got back to the office we used a whole bunch of post-contact poison ivy wipes. And when I got home, I scrubbed down again with Tecnu. I've been using that stuff since the 20teens and boy does it work! Haven't had a serious case of poison ivy since starting it. I was exhausted though and I think I feel asleep around 8pm.

Tuesday I felt much better when I woke up. Then I got to work and found out we were setting "blue tops" (technically pink, like in the picture above) at a nearby site. They are a 8in nail with a bunch of colored "feathers" stick up so the heavy machine operator can see them without getting out of his bulldozer or driller or whatever. They aren't bad if you're hammering them into a lawn, as shown above. The problem was that the developer of the site we were working had pulled off all the good topsoil and replaced it with total garbage soil that was over 50% rocks the size of softballs and 25% of smaller rocks mixed in with the remaining dirt. Meant we had to use our power drill to get these pinktops into the ground. I also had to wear knee pads because there is no way you can kneel on those stones. So 125 pink tops later, the work day was done. And we had 125 to look forward to for the next day. With rain forecasted, whooowheee!

Wednesday continued the pinktop adventures. I took an Aleve as soon as I got up that morning to get ahead of the pain I knew I was going to be experiencing. And pain there was. My back hurt from bending over. My knees hurt from kneeling on stony ground. The back of my knees hurt from the strap of the kneepads I had to wear, because it chafed something fierce. My shoulders ached from using the power drill and then hammering the big nails into the ground. I came home and once I did some necessaries, went straight to bed.

Thursday was a rain day. Our office manager texted us all Wednesday evening that we weren't working Thursday because it was going to rain all day, quite heavy at times. Under those conditions, you just can't get anything done. Mrs B didn't have to go into work until midmorning, so we got up at our usual time and went to a local diner on the Oval. It was really nice to eat hot comfort food on a raw morning and to know we didn't have to rush. So we dawdled and then came home. Mrs B took a short, food induced, nap before heading off to work and I spent the day on the couch recovering from the previous two days. Did some blogging and watching the weather out the windows. It always cheers me up to watch it pour outside (we got close to an inch of rain that day) when I am comfortably ensconced inside.

Friday started out really well. We had 3 small jobs and we absolutely blew through the first 2. Then the third job hit and we just stalled and stalled hard. Both of us were grumpy by days end but we finished and went home. I ended up doing chores before Sabbath and then ate dinner. For whatever reason, food always tastes better to me when I'm grumpy. It's not worth it but it is a small consolation when I'm feeling like life is just roughing me up.

Saturday is obviously in the future, but I have it on good authority that I'll be going to men's meeting in the morning, that we will be going to the SDA church, that Mrs B will be leading the singing during service and that we will come home and do a whole lot of nothing. If that all pans out, I'll be ok with it!

Stay tuned for next month's installment, when Imperator Bookstooge will amaze you all by staying up until 10pm. Yes folks, it could happen!