Wednesday, September 07, 2022

The Shadow Laughs (The Shadow #3) ★★★☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPresss & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Shadow Laughs
Series: The Shadow #3
Authors: Maxwell Grant
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 156
Words: 47K



Synopsis:

A duel with Evil

When an innocent man is murdered under strange circumstances and a crack police detective is lured to his death, The Shadow sees the signs of a vicious plot. He uncovers a ruthless gang of counterfeiters, led by the most powerful and diabolical man in New York’s underworld.

Harry Vincent is sent in to investigate, the Shadow gets shot and eventually Eeeeeeevil is brought to justice.

My Thoughts:

Yeah, I liked this. I liked the brevity of the story. But it didn’t feel short. It felt just right. Thrills and chills and action and guns, bad bad guys, doofus good guy minions and a brilliant leader. It’s kind of a mix and match hodgepodge of elements that will work together no matter what order you put them in.

These are reminding me of Louis L’amour and his westerns (these obviously came first but I didn’t read them first). And if you look at the numbers, you can see that this write by numbers approach can work and work well. Lamour was writing his stories up until he died and Grant churned out over 300 stories about the Shadow. It’s pulp and it’s good.

It’s not going to work for everyone but if you’ve felt the need of a good old fashioned action story without a moral message telling you what you should be thinking/doing, then at least give the Shadow stories a try. If you don’t like the first couple, then it’ll be a safe bet the Shadow isn’t for you and you’ll know it. But you won’t know unless you try.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Tuesday, September 06, 2022

The Traitor's Hand (WH40K: Ciaphas Cain #3) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Traitor’s Hand
Series: WH40K: Ciaphas Cain #3
Authors: Sandy Mitchell
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 303
Words: 97K



Synopsis:

From WH40k.lexicanum.com/

Part One

Aboard the troop ship Emperor’s Beneficence en route to Adumbria, Ciaphas Cain is surprised to be hailed by an old acquaintance: Tomas Beije, now regimental commissar of the Tallarn 229th. Cain remembers Beije from the Schola Progenium as a sanctimonious prig, and is less than pleased to see him, though he hides it with the skill of long experience. Beije likewise fails to make a good impression on Colonel Kasteen when they are introduced, as he is unable to hide his incredulity that the Valhallan 597th has a woman as its commanding officer.

In the ship’s main hall, Lord General Zyvan briefs the assembled command staffs, explaining why they’ve been withdrawn from Kastafore with unusual haste: a Chaos warband, calling themselves the Ravagers, escaped an Imperial Navy trap in the Salomine system and their projected course through the Warp will have them invading Adumbria within the next few days. Zyvan’s force is the advance guard, whose job is to fortify and defend the planet as much as possible until the rest of the task force catches up.

A brief extract from Jerval Sekara’s popular travelogue explains that Adumbria is a tidally-locked planet: the side permanently facing the sun is a baked desert, while the side permanently facing away is an eternally dark icescape. The majority of the planet’s population and urban centers occupy the narrow twilight strip between the two zones.

During the journey through the Warp, tensions run high between the Valhallan and Tallarn Guardsmen; the Tallarns express a conservative disdain for regiments that include women, and the Valhallans’ response is natural. Commissar Beije comes storming into Cain’s office after the Tallarns’ regimental unarmed combat champion is sent to the infirmary after a “friendly” bout with one of the Valhallans’, Corporal Magot. Cain breezily lets Magot off with a reprimand, explaining that it would be unwise to demote her before her squad is deployed to a battlezone.

In private, Beije admits to Cain that he is surprised by how far Cain’s career has come since they last saw each other; he’d have expected any Hero of the Imperium to have become much more pious to the Emperor than Cain was at the Schola. Cain detects seething jealousy under Beije’s carefully civil words, and enjoys the moment to the fullest, while maintaining his usual pose of modesty.

As the 597th is disembarking to the surface, Cain accompanies the first shuttle down, which happens to be carrying Captain Detoi’s Second Company, which includes the perpetually irritating (to Cain) Lieutenant Sulla and her platoon. To their surprise, vox-traffic from the surface warns that the Tallarns’ command squad has come under attack. To avoid the same ambush, Cain orders the shuttle pilot to set down on the vegetable garden of a monastery abutting the starport, and the company deploys behind the enemy forces with gratifying surprise. Cain decides to join Sulla’s platoon on the flank, to keep her from doing anything impetuous (and hopefully avoid the main action), but an unwary traffic praetor blunders on the enemy position and flees back towards the platoon, leading a group of pursuers. The Valhallans ambush them, and Cain is surprised at their luridly-coloured and scanty clothes, and their surprising ecstasy at being maimed by lasguns and chainswords. Just as the Valhallans are mopping up, Beije roars up in a Chimera on the way to rescue his Colonel, only for Cain to cheerfully inform him that everything is under control.

A brief excerpt from a history of the invasion explains the political situation on Adumbria: the incumbent Governor died about a year earlier, without leaving an heir, only a welter of squabbling noble houses, with the leading Administratum representative acting as Regent. This unstable situation only became worse when news of the impending invasion arrived.

Part Two

Zyvan briefs the planetary government and the Guard commanders, saying there is no doubt that a Chaos cult is active on the planet, likely preparing the way for the Ravagers’ arrival.

To Cain’s pleasure, Zyvan tasks him to stay in the capital and liase with the local Arbites, while the rest of the 597th deploys to the dark side of the planet. But danger refuses to leave him alone; a cultist group pilots an aircar into the side of the hotel suite where Zyvan has made his headquarters. A group of luridly-dressed cultists attack, and Cain downs several of them with his chainsword. Then it strikes him that the fight was too easy, and yells for the staff to evacuate the building. Cain’s first impulse is to follow them, but his paranoia warns him that there might be a trap waiting outside. Instead, he stays behind, and looks closer at the wrecked aircar, recognizing a bomb. Sure that there isn’t enough time left for him to run, he demands a vox-link to a Tech Priest, who talks him through defusing it.

A (mercifully brief) extract from Sulla’s memoirs details an early skirmish on the ice side. While performing a routine check on the perimeter sensors, her platoon stumbles across an unauthorized ice crawler which opens fire on them as soon as they challenge it, and their return fire causes it to explode spectacularly, revealing that it was laden with illegal weapons.

Cain visits the regimental headquarters, and he, Kasteen, and Broklaw do their best to analyze the implications (since Sulla, characteristically, didn’t leave any survivors to interrogate). It seems obvious that the heretics are smuggling weapons in through the planetary starport, and caching them in hidden bases. When Cain relays their deductions back to Zyvan, he is dismayed when the Lord General comes to the same conclusion and encourages Cain to lead the search of the likely spots on the ice side.

Kasteen and Broklaw are skeptical at first, saying they don’t have the time or the manpower to search all the possible sites, but Cain, in a flash of inspiration, narrows it down further by filtering out seismic activity picked up by the sensors that they can trace to local, innocent activities.

Leading Sulla’s platoon, along with the regiment’s entire Sentinel troop, they happen onto another crawler, which they neutralize and its trail leads them back to the cultists’ hideout, a prefabricated habitat dome badly disguised (at least to an Ice Worlder’s eye) as a natural snowdrift.

Sulla orders the platoon to assault the hideout, but Cain is squeamish at the troopers (and himself) having to storm any of the entrance doors, which are doubtless heavily fortified. He comes up with another option: grabbing Sergeant Lustig’s squad, he leads them to the wall of the dome, and Jurgen creates a convenient entrance with his melta gun.

Whatever they were expecting to find inside the dome, they are all taken aback: the interior is luxuriously furnished and decorated with loud pornographic murals. Cain also notices a sweet, narcotic scent in the air that brings back memories of the Slaaneshi cult he and Jurgen encountered on Slawkenberg. Outflanking the cultists guarding the doors, they are able to pacify it with minimal casualties. In the center of the dome, Cain finds a hidden chamber, and inside are dozens of dead bodies, mutated and warped by sorcery, and surrounded by Chaos sigils. Cain shudders at the realization that some kind of ritual has taken place.

Another excerpt from the history elaborates that Cain’s discovery increased the fear of how deeply the cultists had infiltrated the planet’s population, although it would be some time before they showed their hand again.

A dispatch from Beije acknowledges Zyvan’s order to search the “hot” side of Adumbria for similar cultist hideouts, while making his opinion clear that it is highly unlikely that heretics could be operating under the noses of such pious servants of the Emperor as himself and the Tallarns.

Cain returns to Skitterfall (the capital), and Zyvan’s Sanctioned Psyker, Malden, reports on his examination of the cultist site. He recognizes the signs of a summoning ritual, but there is no sign of a Daemon appearing on Adumbria, so the purpose of the ritual is a mystery to him. Meanwhile, Zyvan reports that there is no word from the rest of the task force, so he has to distribute their available forces around the planet, with their limited number of troop ships standing by to ferry reinforcements around as needed.

Part Three

In his bunk at the headquarters building, Cain has a nightmare of Emeli Duboir, who playfully warns him that she’ll be coming back soon.

Over breakfast, Cain receives a call from Arbitrator Hekwyn, who has followed the trail of the smuggled weapons from Glacier Peak back to a corrupt freight dispatcher. Under interrogation, the dispatcher identifies his contacts among the cultists. Several of them own warehouses which could easily be stockpiles for more weapons. Eager to avoid anything really hazardous, Cain chooses to accompany the PDF troop raiding one of the more innocuous names, a bordello owner named Kyria Sejwek. He sells the idea to Zyvan by planting the suggestion that Sejwek—given her profession—may have the closest connection to the Slaaneshi cultists.

As usual, serendipity makes a mockery of Cain’s efforts to keep himself out of trouble. As soon as the PDF Chimera approaches the bordello, they come under fire, mostly from prostitutes wielding heavy weapons with astonishing familiarity. Unfortunately, Jurgen takes Cain’s order to find the nearest cover as an instruction to drive the Chimera straight through the bordello’s wall. Cain reluctantly leads a squad into the interior, dispatching the “joygirls” at the weapon emplacements.

He is stunned when Amberley Vail appears on the staircase, approaching him with a coquettish smile. The PDF troopers are similarly befuddled, even when “Amberley” reaches out and touches one, killing him instantly. As soon as Jurgen reaches Cain’s side, “Amberley” disappears, to be replaced by the rather dumpy figure of Madame Sejwek. With a sneer, Cain informs her that impersonating an Inquisitor is a capital offense, and shoots her with his laspistol. In the depths of the bordello they find another sacrificial chamber, heaped with bodies. Grimly, he concludes that, as with Glacier Peak, they have arrived too late to stop whatever ritual the cultists were conducting.

In a dispatch to the higher office of the Commissariat (which is never sent due to the increasingly turbulent Warp currents around the planet) Beije “regretfully” suggests that there may be something suspicious, even sinister, about the fact that Cain has now been on the scene of two cultist summoning rituals and, in both cases, has arrived too late to do anything about them.

In the next meeting of the command staff, Zyvan introduces his ship’s Navigator, Lady Gianela DiMarco, who informs them all that the Warp currents are shifting in a way she’s never seen before, and these shifts coincide with the times of the summoning rituals. It seems clear to her and Malden that the heretics are trying to do something to the space surrounding Adumbria, but neither of them can say exactly what. Before they can debate the matter any further, Zyvan receives a message from the Navy pickets, informing him that the Ravagers’ fleet has arrived in the outskirts of the system. The invasion has begun.

Although severely outnumbered, the Navy picket ships give a good account of themselves, managing to cripple or destroy the invasion fleet’s advance ships and delaying the Ravagers’ landfall for a few crucial days.

Cain returns to the 597th at Glacier Peak, where Kasteen is grimly assessing the odds: a Chaos invasion force is inbound, a daemon may be running around somewhere, and an unknown number of well-armed insurgents are hiding among the population, just waiting for the Guard to turn their backs. Zyvan calls their headquarters to report that the Tallarns did indeed find another ritual site (after bothering to look for it, his acid tone makes clear). Unfortunately, Malden and the other psykers were unable to examine the Chaos sigils, since the Tallarns burned the site to the ground as soon as they discovered it. Looking at the map of the planet, Kasteen notices something that has escaped everyone else’s notice: the three ritual sites form a triangle bisecting the planet. If there is a pattern to the sites’ locations, they may be able to divine the site of the next one.

Part Four

The Ravagers finally arrive, landing in a haphazard storm of shuttles that is rather baffling to the Valhallans’ tactical sensibilities. As the perimeter companies begin to engage, Cain excuses himself from the command center (which he’s painfully aware is an inviting target) and joins Detoi’s Second Company, which is being held in reserve.

Naturally, that is the moment when one of the shuttles comes down all but on top of them, disgorging fanatics screaming “Blood for the Blood God!” Given their preference to close range and use melee weapons instead of their ranged arms, the Chaos soldiers are contained and eliminated without much difficulty – at least Cain thinks so until someone screams “unstoppable…!” over the vox, and a squad disappears off the net. Lt. Faril sends in reinforcements, which unluckily sweep Cain along with them as he is trying to slip back to the command center. To his secret astonishment, they are so cheered by his presence that they start shouting his name like a battlecry.

Cresting the ridge where the squad disappeared, Cain sees his worst nightmare: a Khorne Berserker, a full-sized Chaos Space Marine of the World Eaters Legion. Cain is about to turn and run, when the monster leaps to avoid the flurry of lasbolts fired at him, and lands in front of Cain. Cain’s duelist reflexes take over, and he is able to parry or evade the vicious swipes of the Berserker’s chainaxe, and even scores a glancing hit on his Power Armour with his chainsword. Cain buys himself just enough distance for Jurgen to drop the Berserker with a melta blast.

After the initial attacks are repelled, Zyvan reconvenes the command staff and analyzes the enemy’s pattern. Cain realizes that they are not facing an invasion as much as they are caught in the middle between two feuding Chaos factions; he knows from hard experience that the Ruinous Powers are bitter rivals with each other, and for followers of Khorne and Slaanesh to be working together is virtually unheard of. Picking up on his reasoning, Kasteen looks at the map and realizes that the Ravagers weren’t making a coordinated attack on the Guard forces, they were trying to reach the ritual sites. Colonel Asmar admits that he hadn’t considered that possibility, but it could be equally possible on the hot side. With a little luck, Zyvan finishes, they can deduce the site of the final summoning ritual.

Part Five

The second enemy wave is launched at the planet. The Valhallan Guard forces are hard-pressed, but Kasteen insists on leaving Second Company aboard their one available drop ship, in case reinforcements are needed elsewhere.

Cain is unable to stop worrying over where the last summoning ritual will take place. If Kasteen is right and the other three sites form a pattern, then the fourth point will be somewhere in the equatorial ocean. Cain asks the Arbites to check shipping activity in the area, but Zyvan dismisses the theory; according to Malden, the ritual would need to take place somewhere in contact with the solid part of the planet.

While driving around in a Salamander with Jurgen, trying to find the safest spot possible, Cain is unlucky enough to happen across a corrupted Leman Russ tank, butchering a squad of hapless PDF troopers with its heavy bolters. Jurgen disables the tank with his trusty melta, but the turret is still able to traverse, and starts turning toward the dropship. With the surviving PDF troopers idiotically swarming over the disabled tank, Jurgen is unable to take a second shot, so Cain rushes them aboard the dropship and orders the pilot to lift off immediately to avoid the tank round.

While the shuttle is in a holding pattern above the battle zone, Arbiter Kolbe calls with news; during their check on maritime traffic, they lost contact with an oceanic dredger, a sort of floating manufactorum designed to extract minerals from the ocean floor—physical contact with the solid part of the planet. Cain immediately orders the pilot to head for the dredger, while calling Zyvan over the vox. Zyvan is unavailable, but Malden hears enough to confirm Cain’s theory, and warns that the ritual will likely take place in the next few hours.

In private, Cain confides to his reader that he’d have liked nothing better than to speed into orbit and grab the first warp-capable craft available out of system; however, there was a void battle going on at the moment, and he also knew from painful experience that there is no hiding from some threats, especially Warp-based threats, and your only hope of surviving one is to confront it before its purpose is completed.

Arriving on the dredger, Captain Detoi deploys the Second Company, though they find the cultists heavily dug in. He and Cain conclude that they have little choice but to order a direct assault, but they are interrupted when a small courier shuttle touches down nearby. Beije marches out accompanied by a squad of Tallarns, smugly declaring Cain under arrest for desertion.

Part Six

Cain tries to talk sense into Beije, who scornfully replies that Cain can’t hide his cowardice behind his fraudulent reputation any longer; he’s been looking for any excuse to escape the main action, and has hijacked a whole company of Guard soldiers to do so. In the midst of this tirade, Beije makes the awful mistake of tossing in an insult to the Valhallans’ “petticoat Colonel”, which trails off when he takes in their murderous expressions. In a level voice, Cain says that Beije is free to say whatever he wants about him, but Beije will apologize to Colonel Kasteen or face Cain in a duel.

Seeing that Beije’s Tallarn escorts at least have some sense in them, Cain insists that their mission on the dredger is in deadly earnest – a fact which is reinforced when a force of five World Eaters teleport onto the dredger and hurl themselves at the entrenched Slaaneshi cultists. The defenses which presented such a formidable obstacle to the Guardsmen barely slow the Traitor Marines down, and Cain, seeing an opportunity, orders the squads around him to follow in their wake, while Detoi keeps the rest of the company dispersed, keeping the other cultist defenders pinned down. Beije orders his own men to follow Cain, ostensibly to stop him escaping.

Traveling cautiously along, they dispatch several wounded cultists, and encounter one of the World Eaters, severely wounded. Seeing them, the enormous figure rushes them with his bare fists. Again, Cain’s duelist reflexes take over, and he disables the World Eater with a well-placed stab from his chainsword, through a rent in the ceramite armour left by a cultist’s krak grenade. The World Eater falls, and Jurgen finishes him off with his melta. The Valhallans cheer, and the Tallarns are awestruck; from then on, as far as they’re concerned, Beije is part of the landscape.

They breach the doors of the dredger’s chapel just as the cultists within have completed their summoning ritual, and the daemon emerges from the Warp: Emeli Duboir, no longer a mortal woman. She lazily tears the last surviving World Eater in half, and sweetly informs Cain that she is about to transform Adumbria into a Daemon World; half inside the Warp, half out, a world remade to her liking and a conduit for any number of daemonic hordes to pour into the Materium.

As with their last meeting, she invites him to join her and enjoy the sublime pleasures Slaanesh can offer. But Cain, whose self-preservation has always outweighed his self-indulgence, replies, “Frak this!” and charges. Under normal circumstances, Emeli could kill him with a flick of her hand, but rears back in surprise as her power is nullified by Jurgen’s presence at Cain’s side. With her link to the Warp severed, the Guardsmen’s weapons can actually hurt her. But she lashes back, and the small wounds from lasbolts aren’t doing enough damage. Even a hit from Jurgen’s melta that burns away half of her face doesn’t drop her, and she smashes Jurgen to the ground in rage. Cain is defenseless, and she rises above him, preparing to rip him to pieces.

Then there is a hurricane of lasbolts, and she is torn apart and disappears, either dead or banished. Cain turns and sees the remainder of Second Company in the chapel, Captain Detoi cheerfully explaining that he decided to bring them up when Cain didn’t vox. One of the few surviving cultists – who happens to be one of the hopeful heirs to the Governorship from the aristocracy – says defiantly that Slaanesh is eternal. Cain retorts that Slaanesh may be, but he’s not, as the cultists are marched out at gunpoint. Cain turns to Beije, who has been practically rooted to the spot since the Daemoness appeared, and says he looks forward to the tribunal.

Epilogue

After the campaign on Adumbria is wrapped up, a tribunal of senior Commissars is convened, at Beije’s insistence, to assess the merit of his charges against Cain. Cain prepares to meet his fate stoically, even though he knows that reason and common sense are hardly the most abundant qualities among the upper levels of the Departmento Munitorum.

The results are all he could have wished for; with the aid of some information discreetly provided by Zyvan, the tribunal exonerates Cain of all charges, and finds that his actions were heroic, and probably crucial to the salvation of Adumbria. Then the Commissars turn to Beije, and inform him that he is being charged with conduct unbecoming his station, and stripped of his rank pending a more formal court martial – which, if he’s found guilty, will almost certainly end in execution.

Cain rejoins Kasteen and Broklaw outside the court room, and Beije staggers out in a daze a few seconds later. Cain reassures him that he will speak in his defense, testifying that his actions – however pig-headed – had only the best intentions. Privately, Cain reflects that as much as he detests Beije, shooting him is not going to do anyone much good; and he would much prefer for Beije to owe Cain his life for the remainder of their days.

Cain politely asks Beije when they may meet for their appointment; Beije, having seen Cain’s skills with chainsword and laspistol firsthand, offers a humble apology to Colonel Kasteen for any offense he may have given, then makes as dignified an exit as he can manage (which is not much). Cain, in a mood to celebrate, invites Kasteen and Broklaw to see if one of his favorite restaurants in Skitterfall is still standing.

My Thoughts:

So, here’s a complaint that isn’t directly related to the book. Why do some of the book get the Full Synopsis Treatment, like this one, and others are left to hang out like dirty laundry that nobody wants? Where’s the love from the Warhammer 40K groupies? Ok, I’m done with that now.

I enjoyed this story and the short story I previously read, The Beguiling, really helped me to know what was going on. The vampiress from that story makes a comeback and appears to be a demon in disguise or something. Whatever she is, she’s bad news and while she’s apparently destroyed, I never believe anything of Chaos is gone until I see the body burning. And even then sometimes I still don’t believe it 🙂

There is another Commisar and he’s a weak, by the book, selfish and petty kind of guy. He’s also inept and causes more problems than anything. I was kind of hoping he’d get eaten, gruesomely, by the vampiress, but no such luck. Sometimes it can be hard to be a reader, you know?

While I enjoyed the short stories I read featuring Cain, he does much better in a full novel. I zipped right through this and could have read another for breakfast, but my iron will obviously kept me on the righteous path of book rotation. Sometimes I’m so amazing that I amaze even myself. Feel free to bask, there’s no charge.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Monday, September 05, 2022

Dead Silence ★☆☆☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Dead Silence
Series: ———-
Authors: Stacey Barnes
Rating: 1 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 319
Words: 109.5K



Synopsis:

From the Publisher & Me

Claire Kovalik is days away from being unemployed―made obsolete―when her beacon repair crew picks up a strange distress signal. With nothing to lose and no desire to return to Earth, Claire and her team decide to investigate.

What they find is shocking: the Aurora, a famous luxury spaceliner that vanished on its maiden tour of the solar system more than twenty years ago. A salvage claim like this could set Claire and her crew up for life. But a quick search of the ship reveals something isn’t right.

Whispers in the dark. Flickers of movement. Messages scrawled in blood. Claire must fight to hold on to her sanity and find out what really happened on the Aurora before she and her crew meet the same ghastly fate.

Turns out everything was caused by a machine put on board the ship by a rival company that was supposed to make everyone feel dread and uneasiness. The ship used a new alloy and the interactions between the machine and ship drove everyone insane.

Claire survives as does her loverboy and they get rich and own their own shipping company. The end.

My Thoughts:

I went into this with very high hopes. Both Mogsy and Maddalena had reviewed it and while there were some little things that niggled at me, what they wrote sounded fantastic.

Things started out really great. I’m talking Event Horizon levels of great in fact. Which is exactly what I wanted and was looking for. Then I find out the main character is insane, so I can’t trust a word coming out of her mouth, then the whole “scary” situation gets “scyenzesplained” to me and THEN romance right at the end where the man knows exactly what to do and what to say like he’d read the main character’s insane mind and was pretty much the perfectest man ever.

It blew my mind. In a bad way. I was pretty angry in fact. To go from people ripping their own eyeballs out to scyenze to romance was more than I could take. Stacey Barnes took a space elevator ride straight to my Authors to Avoid list with this book. What gets me is that it DID start out so fantastic. WHY did she have to go and change things and ruin everything? I could smell the hotdog. I could see the hotdog. Then the author gave me a celery stick and acts like it was that all along. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

So if you want a scary story that is ruined by scyenze and romance, this is definitely the book for you. If I cared more, I’d cross post this review to all sorts of other platforms just to give people fair warning. But in about 10 years nobody will ever remember this book, because it truly is that bad. I’ll step aside and let Time be the author’s executioner.

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Ashes to Ashes – MTG 4th Edition

Sunday, September 04, 2022

The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare ★★☆☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot, & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare
Author: G.K. Chesterton
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Christian Allegory
Pages: 215
Words: 58K



Synopsis:

From Wikipedia

In Victorian-era London, Gabriel Syme is recruited at Scotland Yard to a secret anti-anarchist police corps. Lucian Gregory, an anarchistic poet, lives in the suburb of Saffron Park. Syme meets him at a party and they debate the meaning of poetry. Gregory argues that revolt is the basis of poetry. Syme demurs, insisting the essence of poetry is not revolution but law. He antagonises Gregory by asserting that the most poetical of human creations is the timetable for the London Underground. He suggests Gregory isn’t really serious about anarchism, which so irritates Gregory that he takes Syme to an underground anarchist meeting place, under oath not to disclose its existence to anyone, revealing his public endorsement of anarchy is a ruse to make him seem harmless, when in fact he is an influential member of the local chapter of the European anarchist council.

The central council consists of seven men, each using the name of a day of the week as a cover; the position of Thursday is about to be elected by Gregory’s local chapter. Gregory expects to win the election but just before, Syme reveals to Gregory after an oath of secrecy that he is a secret policeman. In order to make Syme think that the anarchists are harmless after all, Gregory speaks very unconvincingly to the local chapter, so that they feel that he is not zealous enough for the job. Syme makes a rousing anarchist speech in which he denounces everything that Gregory has said and wins the vote. He is sent immediately as the chapter’s delegate to the central council.

In his efforts to thwart the council, Syme eventually discovers that five of the other six members are also undercover detectives; each was employed just as mysteriously and assigned to defeat the Council. They soon find out they were fighting each other and not real anarchists; such was the mastermind plan of their president, Sunday. In a surreal conclusion, Sunday is unmasked as only seeming to be an anarchist; in fact, he is a proponent of state power like the detectives. Sunday is unable to give an answer to the question of why he caused so much trouble and pain for the detectives. Gregory, the only real anarchist, seems to challenge the false council. His accusation is that they, as rulers, have never suffered like Gregory and their other subjects and so their power is illegitimate. Syme refutes the accusation immediately, because of the terrors inflicted by Sunday on the rest of the council.

The dream ends when Sunday is asked if he has ever suffered. His last words, “can ye drink of the cup that I drink of?”, is the question Jesus asks St. James and St. John in the Gospel of Mark, chapter 10, vs 38–39, a rhetorical question intended to demonstrate that the disciples are wrong to covet his glory because they are unable to bear the suffering for the sins of the world for which he is destined.

My Thoughts:

Man, how I have changed in 20 years. Much like my review of The Napolean of Notting Hill, I found that this time around I did not enjoy this book by Chesterton nearly so much as I did in my early 20’s. Part of that is that I’ve been exposed to a much wider school of Christian Apologetics and Thought but another part is that I am now comfortable with myself in what I like or do not like.

And the fact of the matter is that I do not like Chesterton’s style. It doesn’t mean it is good or bad but that I simply do not like it. I suspect I would not have liked him as a man either though and thus the good/bad debate has to be thrown out. Plus, I don’t like poetry and Chesterton starts the book off with a poem.

I have now read enough to figure that Chesterton is most likely not for me. I’m going to try one more book by him just to be sure but am not holding out any hope that he’ll suddenly change and become an appealing author to me.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Saturday, September 03, 2022

George's Marvelous Medicine ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: George’s Marvelous Medicine
Series: ———-
Authors: Roald Dahl
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Childrens Fiction
Pages: 63
Words: 12.5K



Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org

While eight-year-old George Kranky’s parents are out grocery shopping, his elderly maternal grandmother bosses him around and bullies him. She intimidates George by saying that she likes to eat insects and he wonders briefly if she’s a witch. To punish her for her regular abuse, George decides to make a magic medicine to replace her old one. He collects a variety of ingredients from around the family farm including deodorant and shampoo from the bathroom, floor polish from the laundry room, horseradish sauce and gin from the kitchen, animal medicines, engine oil and anti-freeze from the garage, and brown paint to mimic the colour of the original medicine.

After cooking the ingredients in the kitchen, George gives it as medicine to his grandmother, who grows as tall as the house, bursting through the roof. When his grandmother doesn’t believe it was George who made her grow so tall, he proves it by feeding the medicine to one of his father’s chickens, which grows ten times its original size. As they return home, George’s parents can’t believe their eyes when they see the fattest chicken ever and the grandmother. George’s father grows very excited at the thought of rearing giant animals. He has George feed the medicine to the rest of the farm’s animals, causing them to become giants as well. However, his grandmother begins complaining about being ignored and stuck in the roof, so Mr. Kranky hires a crane to remove her from the house. Her extreme height has her sleeping in the barn for the next few nights.

The following morning, Mr. Kranky is still excited about George’s medicine and announces that he and George shall make gallons of it to sell to farmers around the world, which would make his family rich. George attempts to recreate it but is unable to remember all the ingredients. The second version makes a chicken’s legs grow extremely long, and the third elongates a chicken’s neck to bizarre proportions. The fourth has the opposite effect of the first and makes animals shrink. George’s grandmother, now even more angry she’s sleeping in the barn, storms over and starts complaining loudly that she’s once again sick of being ignored. She sees the cup of medicine in George’s hand and erroneously mistakes it for tea. Much to his and Mrs. Kranky’s horror, and Mr. Kranky’s delight, she drinks the entire cup and shrinks so much that she vanishes completely. At first, Mrs. Kranky is shocked, confused and distraught about the sudden, and very strange disappearance of her mother, but soon accepts that she was becoming a nuisance anyway. In the last page, George is left to think about the implications of his actions, feeling as though they had granted him access to the edge of a magic world.

My Thoughts:

I am coming to the conclusion that this will probably be my final read of Dahl’s body of work for my own enjoyment. Not that I am disliking them but I do want “more” and these don’t offer that any more. I feel that in my multiple reads I have plumbed the depths of these stories and I would rather explore a new author or series than to re-tread material this familiar to me.

That is in no way a denigration of Dahl’s skill as a writer or a story teller, but I’ve realized that I’ve done a bit of growing up in the last 15 years and I cannot go back. Reading these books have been an attempt to see if I could actually go back, but as we all know, time only flows in one direction.

I have to admit, I am surprised this was published as is. George puts in a LOT of nasty stuff into his medicine and even I know that some of them would kill you outright. If I read this to a kid, I’d be keeping an eye on them for the next week or two to make sure they didn’t try to experiment on themselves or others 😀

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Friday, September 02, 2022

Feast and Famine ★★✬☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Feast and Famine
Series: ———-
Authors: Adrian Tchaikovsky
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SFF
Pages: 157
Words: 60.5K



Synopsis:

From the Inside Cover and TOC

In Feast and Famine Adrian Tchaikovsky delivers an ambitious and varied collections of stories. Ranging from the deep space hard SF of the title story (originally in Solaris Rising 2) to the high fantasy of “The Sun in the Morning” (a Shadows of the Apt tale originally featured in Deathray magazine), from the Peter S Beagle influenced “The Roar of the Crowd” to the supernatural Holmes-esque intrigue of “The Dissipation Club” the author delivers a dazzling array of quality short stories that traverse genre. Ten stories in all, five of which appear here for the very first time.

Contents:

1. Introduction

2. Feast & Famine

3. The Artificial Man

4. The Roar of the Crowd

5. Good Taste

6. The Dissipation Club

7. Rapture

8. Care

9. 2144 and All That

10. The God Shark

11. The Sun of the Morning

12. About the Author

My Thoughts:

That’s right, there’s a reason I’ve been avoiding Tchaikovsky for the last year or two. While he can tell some good stories, he also really digs the knife into Christianity. Not organized religion, or Buddhism, or Islam, or any other religion, just Christianity. I “think” I could handle it if he were an equal opportunity mocker, but he’s not. He really lets fly with the story “Rapture” and I realized that while the other stories might be interesting that my time with him is done for good now.

If I need any more fixes of Tchaikovsky, I’ll just go and re-read the Shadows of the Apt decology.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Thursday, September 01, 2022

Conan the Bold (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★✬☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Bold
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Authors: John Maddox Roberts
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 175
Words: 80K



Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org & Me

A young Conan’s prospects for a domestic existence are destroyed, along with his intended fiancé, by the renegade Taharka of Keshan. To achieve vengeance, the Cimmerian joins forces with a one-eyed warrior woman, Mad Kalya, also wronged by Taharka’s outlaws. The couple pursue their enemies across several nations, from Croton’s fighting pits to the Ophirian plains, overtaking them in time and again only to see Taharka slip through their fingers. The chase ultimately culminates in a battle to the death.

Kalya dies in Conan’s arms but Taharka gets his just desserts. Conan decides to keep exploring the other lands and to find out what other adventures await him.

My Thoughts:

I enjoyed this story quite a bit. This was an origin story for Conan and shows how he came to be exploring lands other than Cimmeria. I suspect if I read enough Conan stories though that I’ll find multiple “origin” stories. So I’m not holding this as canon or anything.

There is some cosmic horror involved, as both Conan and Taharka are accosted by priests of elder gods and told they both have “great destinies”. Taharka allows this to go to his head and acts accordingly while Conan simply scoffs and tells the priests no one, or no thing, will ever control his actions. Of course, Taharka dies and Conan doesn’t. So much for those elder gods prescience, right? Hahahahahaa.

In terms of action, this is all over the place geographically and it keeps things fresh. We get to see a glimpse of Conan as a river pirate, hinting at his future as a real pirate later on. That is one story I’ve never read about Conan, his time as a pirate. It’s always just referred to. I hope JMR writes at least one story about that.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

August '22 Roundup & Rambling

Raw Data:

Novels – 15 ↑

Graphic Novels – 6 ⭤

Average Rating – 3.33 ↑

Pages – 4125 ↓

Words – 1162K ↓

The Bad:

One Piece #28 – The only under 3star rating this whole month!

The Good:

A Season in Carcosa – 4.5stars of Almost Perfect cosmic horror

Movie:

The 2015 tv revival of The Muppets made them rude and crude instead of laughable and lovable.

Miscellaneous Posts:

Personal:

Batched the first week of the month as Mrs B was still out in California visiting family. Got sick in the middle of the month for a couple of days and then worked and read, worked and read. I just felt super busy the whole month even when things were going fine.

Had a baptism at church, which was really nice, went to a company lunch one friday (which was great because we still got paid but didn’t have to work those 3hrs), visited the SDA church one Saturday and tried to get a game of boardgame Doom going with my brother.

WordPress “updated” in the background at some point this month and they broke the ability to copy/paste multiple items into the Title bar of a post. Since I c/p the title, series and rating, I had to figure out an alternate way. I emailed WP and they confirmed it was the update doing the breaking and they also confirmed it wouldn’t be fixed at least until the next update. So I had to start using blogger as my primary blog and then WP as the backup. Blogging is just becoming a hassle and WordPress seems fixed on their course of driving away the casual blogger. I am really stressed about it. It is cumulative stress too, so it doesn’t go away. The block editor, which I am used to, still makes me angry to use, WP’s various shenanigans with their plans and addons and crap and now something “basic” isn’t working. It feels like I am dragging a ball and chain behind me every time I go to blog and I am starting to really, really, really hate it.

My Librarything usage has also been dropping and since the few people I interacted with on a social level had dwindled as well, I began cutting back at LT soon after the month began. Starting this week I’ve cut the cord completely. One less place I have to copy/paste and keep track of information. I feel like I’m re-trenching on multiple fronts. That’s not good, because you only retrench when you’re in a war, and usually only when you are losing that war. Reviewing has become a war that I’m losing. While I know my moods affect how I feel about blogging, the fact that I am feeling this way at all about it is a big fat warning sign to me. I’ll be giving it all some serious consideration over the coming months.

Plans for Next Month:

September is going to be a very full blogging month. So much so that I’ll be double posting on Mondays. One will be the typical Magic the Gathering post and the next one will be a book review, hopefully at noon. Might be some timing issues due to WP being idiotic but it will at least go up on my site at noon.

I’ve got to write about September 11 and do the next Muppets thing and everything else will be book reviews, book reviews, book reviews. I have GOT to get caught up, so September gets to be the month I pack them all in. I know book review posts aren’t as fun to read, but my backlog has almost doubled between the reading time I had while in California and the sick time I had this month. So prepare yourselves to be socked between the eyes. If I feel the need to write some other non-book review stuff, well, then that’ll be another double posting day as well.

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

Wyper the Berserker (One Piece #28) ★★☆☆☆

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Wyper the Berserker
Series: One Piece #28
Arc: Skypiea #5
Author: Eiichiro Oda
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 185
Words: 8K



Synopsis:

From Wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_One_Piece_chapters_(187_388)

“Wyper the Berserker”

“Dial Battle”

“The Many Souths”

“Pirate Zoro vs. Warrior Braham”

“Pirate Luffy vs. Berserker Wyper”

“Warrior Genbo vs. Heavenly Warriors Commander Yama”

“Pirate Chopper vs. Vassal Gedatsu”

“Pirate Nami and the Weird Knight vs. Heavenly Warriors Subcommanders Hotori and Kotori”

“Warrior Kamakiri vs. Kami Eneru”

With the war’s start, Eneru decides to make a bet: of the eighty-one combatants currently on Skypiea (the Straw Hats, the Shandians, and his own forces), only five will remain in three hours’ time. The Shandians engage Eneru’s forces, the remaining priests fight the Shandians, and the Straw Hats fight whoever is left. After two hours, the number of active combatants dwindles to twenty-five. Luffy mistakes a giant snake’s mouth for a cave.

My Thoughts:

This is just about 180 pages of people fighting each other while screaming how impossible everything the other person is doing. Over and Over and Over again. I am at the point in my life where displays like this don’t do a thing for me. And splitting everyone up so I get to see 3-5 different fights REALLY doesn’t do it for me.

This was the last volume I read back when I was reading One Piece as it was released in english. I can totally understand why I stopped here. Big, flashy and confusing fights simply do not hold my attention. Not anymore. It’s not like I’m going to stop this time but I must admit, Oda-sensei better get off his keister and start telling a story again.

Rating: 2 out of 5.