Sunday, October 29, 2023

Charmed Life (Chrestomanci #1) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Charmed Life
Series: Chrestomanci #1
Author: Diana Jones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Middlegrade Fantasy
Pages: 195
Words: 70K


While I thoroughly enjoyed this, I can see why it didn’t take off like a certain young wizard with a scar on his forehead. Cat doesn’t start off as the main character and even when he’s pushed to the forefront by circumstances, he is a very passive guy and just lets things happen to him. I thought his older sister was going to be the main character, but she turns out to be a main villain and is so bad that she’s willing to sacrifice her brother for her own ends. That’s some bad family dynamics right there.

Chrestomanci is a magician of great power with a wonderful wife and two children Cat’s age and he’s the obligatory powerful good adult in the stories. While The World of Howl books are still middle grade, they are ostensibly about the adults. Here, the children are the main characters. That changes the dynamics of the story. Part of that is that Jones allows her children characters to BE children, to think and act like children, which means they do some really stupid things even when they are trying to do the right thing. At times it was very frustrating for me, as an adult, to watch Cat do exactly the wrong thing but it fit so I just gritted my teeth and held on. And it all turned out ok in the end, as good middlegrade fantasy should.

When I posted the Currently Reading & Quote post last month, the humor hit me just right. The Howl books were semi-humorous and I enjoyed them, but I wasn’t sure if it would work in another series. While not exactly a laughathon, the humor displayed in the CR&Q post was indicative of what the story contained as a whole and it really worked for me. I didn’t give this the “humor” tag because everything wasn’t funny (like say, the Discworld books were meant to be) but there was humor interwoven so nothing was too drear and dark.

On a final note, the synopsis behind the details code is almost 1600 words. Read at your own risk. I know I wouldn’t!

★★★✬☆


From Dianawynnejones.fandom.com/wiki

While on a summer outing with their parents, Cat and Gwendolen Chant are orphaned when the ferry their family is riding crashes. The two siblings are among the few survivors; Cat believes this is because Gwendolen is a witch, so she can’t drown, and Cat himself clung to Gwendolen. The town sets up a trust fund for them, and they are taken in by Mrs. Sharp, a kindly older woman who lived downstairs from them. Mrs. Sharp is an Certified Witch, and she senses Gwendolen’s innate talent. They go through the siblings’ parents’ belongings and find three letters from Chrestomanci, which Mrs. Sharp barters to Mr. Nostrum, the necromancer next door, for magic lessons for Gwendolen.

Gwendolen excels in her studies and becomes the darling of the neighborhood, who dote on her and give her presents. Cat takes violin lessons to balance Gwendolen’s magic lessons, but his playing is horrible and Gwendolen turns his violin into a cat the neighborhood adopts and calls Fiddle. A Fortune-Teller reads Gwendolen her fortune and predicts she’ll rule the world someday if she goes about it the right way. Miss Larkins, the neighborhood favorite before Gwendolen, tries to predict Cat’s fortune out of jealousy. She goes into a trance, and a man’s voice tells Cat how glad he is to have found him, but that he must be more careful: four are gone already, and he’s in danger from at least two directions. That evening, Gwendolen writes to Chrestomanci.

Soon after, Chrestomanci himself comes in person and expresses a wish to have Gwendolen and Cat come live with him in his castle. Gwendolen is exultant, believing she’s off to rule the world; Cat, who loves his home in Wolvercote, is morose. They set off a week later by train in grand style and travel to the far countryside, where they’re greeted by a man named Michael Saunders, who introduces himself as their tutor. Michael drives them from the platform to Chrestomanci Castle, where he brings them through a side door and hands them off to the housekeeper, Miss Bessemer. That evening they dine with the Family and meet Chrestomanci’s wife, Millie, and their children, Roger and Julia.

Next morning, Cat and Gwendolen begin lessons with Roger and Julia. Gwendolen and Julia get into a small magic duel over breakfast, after which lessons commence. Cat, who is left-handed, does as usual and pretends to be right-handed when Michael isn’t looking, and Gwendolen shows she knows next to nothing about anything that isn’t magic. Michael loses his temper when he discovers Cat writing with his right hand, and dismisses them both from the schoolroom before lunch so Roger and Julia can have their magic lesson: Chrestomanci, he says, has forbidden them both from learning magic for the time being.

Gwendolen, feeling she’s not begin given the attention she deserves, grows steadily more and more furious and determines to make Chrestomanci notice her. On Wednesday, when they get their pocket money and a free afternoon to go down to the village, Gwendolen visits a seedy magic provisions supplier named Mr. Baslam to buy magic ingredients and some illegal dragon’s blood. During dinner, she summons ghouls to loom at the windows, but Chrestomanci merely asks the butler to close the curtains.

Gwendolen declares magical war on Chrestomanci and casts one problematic spell after another as the days pass, but still no one acknowledges even that. She receives a letter from Mr. Nostrum, only to find that Chrestomanci already opened and read it, to her further fury. Her feud with Julia turns into a second war when she turns Julia’s skirt to snakes during supper. On Sunday, when the go to church, Gwendolen bespells the figures and saints in the stained glass windows to run from pane to pane, causing mischief and raising a disturbance among the congregation. Chrestomanci still pays her no mind, but Millie is furious.

That Wednesday, Gwendolen’s dragon’s blood arrives in time for Chrestomanci’s dinner party. The children eat dinner separately and are told to stay in their rooms. Gwendolen obliges and returns to her room, where she uses her dragon’s blood to grow insects to monstrous sizes, summon skeletons, and conjure the same ghouls from before, and send them all to interrupt the party. Chrestomanci and Michael force their way into her room before she finishes; Chrestomanci boxes Cat’s ears for not interfering, and Michael spanks Gwendolen and strips her of her magic.

Next morning, Cat wakes up and goes to Gwendolen’s room, only to find that Gwendolen has disappeared and left an exact look-alike in her place. This strange girl, Janet, comes from a parallel world that has no magic and is much more modern. Terrified of what Chrestomanci will do or say when he discovers what Gwendolen has done, Cat and Janet agree to keep the switch a secret. Janet relies on Cat as struggles to pretend to be Gwendolen, and they both must deal with the messes Gwendolen has left behind: a spell turning the maid Euphemia into a toad, twenty pounds owed to Mr. Baslam for illegal dragon’s blood, an outstanding feud with Julia, and a secret plan of the Nostrums in which Gwendolen and Cat are both involved.

Janet and Cat resolve to run away to Janet’s world, where Janet promises Cat he can live with her and her parents as her brother. As they make their plans, Janet discovers a matchbook tucked among Cat and Gwendolen’s parents’ belongings and deduces the nine matches held inside are Cat’s nine lives. Cat, in disbelief, attempts to prove her wrong by striking one of the matches. Before Janet can stop him, Cat erupts into flames, and Janet does the only thing she can think to do: call for Chrestomanci. He arrives immediately and douses the fire, then explains to Cat that he did, in fact, have nine lives, but now he only has three. Cat realizes it was Chrestomanci’s voice he heard Miss Larkins speaking with back in Wolvercote.

The next day, Sunday–two weeks after Gwendolen and Cat arrived at the Castle–Cat and Janet stay home while the rest of the Castle Family and staff go to church. They take the opportunity to filch a bit of dragon’s blood from Michael Saunders’s workshop, then sneak into Chrestomanci’s garden, which serves as a gateway to other worlds. At the center there is an arch, and when they sprinkle a bit of dragon’s blood before it, its middle become window-like, displaying an image of Gwendolen as queen in another world. She notices them, but before Cat and Janet can escape to Janet’s world, the Nostrums appear in the garden using Cat’s signature from one of his school essays to teleport to his exact location. They are followed by more witches and warlocks, many of whom Cat recognizes from Wolvercote, and once they’re all arrived, the Nostrums summon Chrestomanci.

Chrestomanci appears instantly, and immediately the Nostrums seize upon him and bind him with silver, his weakness, preventing him from using magic. They immobilize Cat and tie him to the stone before the arch, revealing that their plan with Gwendolen is to kill an innocent child–Cat–before the arch, breaking Chrestomanci’s magic and opening the way to other worlds. But before they can kill Cat, Janet vanishes, and Gwendolen appears in her place. Gwendolen reveals to the Nostrums that Cat has nine lives and recounts what she did with some of them, explaining that they’ll have to kill him several times; this infuriates the Nostrums, because it means Cat is a powerful enchanter in his own right, and to kill him they’ll first need to discover his weakness. Before Gwendolen offers to leave so they can use her double, Chrestomanci tells them the cat, Fiddle, which Gwendolen had turned from a violin using one of Cat’s lives, is in the garden. All the witches and warlocks set off through the maze-like garden to search for the cat, leaving Chrestomanci and Cat alone at the center.

Cat is shocked and heartbroken by his sister’s betrayal and at how very little she cares for him. Chrestomanci galvanizes him to action, telling Cat how to use his magic to break them both free of their restraints. Cat manages to free Chrestomanci just as they’re discovered, and Chrestomanci holds the returning witches and warlocks off and begins to summon the Family and Castle staff. Cat realizes Gwendolen is using his magic against them, preventing Chrestomanci from summoning Millie. He takes his magic back and joins in the battle as Millie arrives.

The Family round up the members of the conspiracy, but Gwendolen escapes and seals herself off from the rest of the world, dragging Janet back into the garden in her place. The Family holds an impromptu picnic in the garden. Chrestomanci explains that they brought Cat there to train him as the next Chrestomanci, but they didn’t know if Cat knew of his magic or not, or whether he was just as amoral as his sister, which was why they’d kept him out of the loop. He offers to find a way to send Janet back to her world, but Janet says the double who replaced her was happier there than in her own world, and Chrestomanci admits that the rest are just as better off in their new worlds. He and Millie offer to adopt Janet and let her remain at Chrestomanci Castle as their legal ward.

All of My “Diana Jones” Reviews

Saturday, October 28, 2023

The Innocent 3Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Innocent
Series: ———-
Author: Harlan Coben
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 338
Words: 105K


This wasn’t nearly as complicated as Gone for Good, and I’m very thankful for that. But at the same time, it is very obvious that Coben has a list of “include these plot points” and he just rolls a couple of dice to figure out which ones to put into the story. While not exactly recycled, there are just too many similar points for such a reader as myself. Not to brag (which usually means the person is about to brag), but I’ve read enough books, both good, bad, really good and really bad, to see this kind of thing coming from a mile away. And I wear glasses.
~buffs nails

At the same time, I’ve decided that I will start reading a series with a central main character instead of these standalone stories. They might work fine for those who read 5 books a year, but I’m sorry, I’m way out of those peoples’ league. And I need Coben to write at my level, not theirs.
~buffs nails again

Yep, letting my reading snob show here. I don’t care. I have standards. I really do my best to keep that snobbery from showing when it comes to other people, but when it is about the books “I” read on “my” blog, well, I get sick and tired of holding it in all the time. Darn this curse of good taste, it is a real burden on my shoulders.
~buffs both set of nails

Ok, I’m done now. The snobbery can go back in its box for another year or two. Maybe three if I can get on a good roll.

★★★☆☆


From Wikipedia.org

Matt Hunter is a seemingly ordinary man in suburban New Jersey with a pregnant wife, Olivia. But Matt’s past is not so ordinary. In his late teens, Matt tried to break up a fight involving his friend, and wound up unintentionally killing the other fighter. While his friends spent time in college, Matt was behind bars serving time for negligent manslaughter. Now nine years after being released from prison, Matt is a paralegal in his brother’s law firm and his life is looking up. However, the past won’t seem to go away. As Matt and Olivia try to buy a house in his old neighborhood, neighbors and local authorities make it clear he is not welcome. After Matt receives disturbing photos from his wife’s phone, a man who is tailing Matt ends up dead. Matt soon learns that Olivia also has a past that she’d like to forget. Unable to trust anyone, Matt and Olivia are forced to work outside the law to save themselves and their future.

Friday, October 27, 2023

Currently Reading Buddy Read: Farsight

Have started a buddy read with Dave and Markus. We’re reading Farsight by Phil Kelly, a novella about the Tau from the Warhammer 40K universe. We’re going to wrap things up by November 25th, so lots of time. If you have any interest in joining us, leave a comment and we’ll work out the details! Otherwise, shut up, sit back and be jealous of how awesome we are 😉

Thursday, October 26, 2023

Foundation (Foundation #1) 5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Foundation
Series: Foundation #1
Authors: Isaac Asimov
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 234
Words: 70K


Foundation is one of those books/series that I read in highschool, then again in Bibleschool and then yet again as an adult. When I read Foundation back in ‘08. I only gave it 3stars. Looking at my review, I don’t give any indication of why. I suspect I was expecting some sort of epiphany experience and when that didn’t happen, I blamed it on the book.

This time around I had more experience with a wider range of Asimov’s work. I’d seen him at the top of his form and I’d seen some of his better left forgotten stuff too. This was a collection of very dependent short stories and I loved every single second of it.

With just a few words Asimov sets the stage for 1000 years of future history. We meet Harri Seldon for all of 4, maybe 5 paragraphs and yet when his hologram appears again, he’s one of the most real characters in the stories. Trantor, the planet city, the Empire itself, are all sketched in with a very light touch and yet we are told enough that our imaginations can fill in all the gaps (well, if your imagination hasn’t atrophied in todays bookish culture).

Asimov’s strength has always been “The Idea” and he works that to the fullest here. I loved it.

★★★★★


From Wikipedia

Called forth to stand trial on Trantor for allegations of treason (for foreshadowing the decline of the Galactic Empire), Seldon explains that his science of psychohistory foresees many alternatives, all of which result in the Galactic Empire eventually falling. If humanity follows its current path, the Empire will fall and 30,000 years of turmoil will overcome humanity before a second empire arises. However, an alternative path allows for the intervening years to be only 1,000 if Seldon is allowed to collect the most intelligent minds and create a compendium of all human knowledge, entitled the Encyclopedia Galactica. The board is still wary, but allows Seldon to assemble whomever he needs, provided he and the “Encyclopedists” be exiled to a remote planet, Terminus. Seldon agrees to these terms – and also secretly establishes a second foundation of which almost nothing is known, which he says is at the “opposite end” of the galaxy.

After 50 years on Terminus, and with Seldon now dead, the inhabitants find themselves in a crisis. With four powerful planets surrounding their own, the Encyclopedists have no defenses but their own intelligence. At the same time, a vault left by Seldon is due to automatically open. The vault reveals a pre-recorded hologram of Seldon, who informs the Encyclopedists that their entire reason for being on Terminus is a fraud, insofar as Seldon did not actually care whether or not an encyclopedia was created, only that the population was placed on Terminus and the events needed by his calculations were set in motion. In reality, the recording discloses, Terminus was set up to reduce the dark ages based on his calculations. It will develop by facing intermittent and extreme “crises” – known as “Seldon Crises” – which the laws governing psychohistory show will inevitably be overcome, simply because human nature will cause events to fall in particular ways which lead to the intended goal. The recording reveals that the present events are the first such crisis, reminds them that a second foundation was also formed at the “opposite end” of the galaxy, and then falls silent.

The Mayor of Terminus City, Salvor Hardin, proposes to play the planets against each other. His plan is a success; the Foundation remains untouched, and he becomes its effective ruler. Meanwhile, the minds of the Foundation continue to develop newer and greater technologies which are more compact and powerful than the Empire’s equivalents. Using its scientific advantages, Terminus develops trade routes with nearby planets, eventually taking them over when its technology becomes a much-needed commodity. The interplanetary traders effectively become diplomats to other planets. One such trader, Hober Mallow, becomes powerful enough to challenge and win the office of Mayor and, by cutting off supplies to a nearby region, also succeeds in adding more planets to the Foundation’s control.

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

The Insulted and Humiliated (The Russians) 4.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Insulted and Humiliated
Series: (The Russians)
Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Translator: Garnett
Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Classic
Pages: 534
Words: 145K


This was probably the most Russian of the Russian novels I’ve read to date. A fiance dumps the guy for some rich prince, but not because he’s a prince but “because she loves him”. And the main character helps them both. He becomes the shoulder for the woman to cry on when things go hard, he listens to the princeling when he is at his stupidest (all the time), the princeling has zero will of his own and completely lives his life in the moment and by his emotions, the parents of the girl and princeling are suing each other and the main character finds and befriends a sick orphan girl, who dies in the end. The princeling marries someone else and the girl and the main character are left knowing too much has happened for them to ever return together.

Oh man, how can you NOT love something like that? It was distilled misery, like Grade AAA Maple Syrup, but Misery instead. It was glorious and I found myself, on several occasions, pumping my fist in the air and mentally exclaiming, YES, that’s a new low, how can you beat that? And Dostoyevsky must have heard me from the grave, because he kept one upping me.

The story itself is very slow and this was all about the characters interacting. If you want interesting characters, read this. Dostoyevsky knew people and what’s more, he knew how to translate that to the written word. This reminded me very much of a Dickens’ story and I daresay that Dostoyevsky is just as good as Dickens about creating characters and situations.

While I am not sure I would recommend this as an introduction to someone who wants to get into Classic Russian Literature, I would recommend it just to see if they can handle the misery. This book is like a stress test to see if someone can handle CRL in general and not necessarily a test to see if they like CLR. There’s a difference and you need to be able to differentiate between what you can handle and what you like.

★★★★✬


From Wikipedia.org

Natasha leaves her parents’ home and runs away with Alyosha (Prince Alexey), the son of Prince Valkovsky. As a result of his pain, her father, Nikolai, curses her. The only friend that remains by Natasha’s side is Ivan – her childhood friend who is deeply in love with her, and whom Natasha has rejected despite their being engaged. Prince Valkovsky tries to destroy Alyosha’s plans to marry Natasha, and wants to make him marry the rich princess Katerina. Alyosha is a naïve but lovable young man who is easily manipulated by his father. Following his father’s plan, Alyosha falls in love with Katerina, but still loves Natasha. He is constantly torn between these two women, too indecisive and infatuated with both to make a decision. Eventually, Natasha sacrifices her own feelings and withdraws in order for Alyosha to choose Katerina. Meanwhile, Ivan rescues an orphan girl, Elena (known as Nellie), from the clutches of a procuress and learns that her mother ran away from her father’s (Jeremy Smith’s) home with her sweetheart, a man who abandoned her when Nellie’s mother gave birth. It is later revealed that Prince Valkovsky is Nellie’s father. Her parents were legally married, but Prince Valkovsky persuaded his young and innocent wife to rob her father, Jeremy. After moving to Petersburg, Nellie’s mother asks her father for forgiveness, but he rejects them. Before dying, Nellie’s mother makes Nellie promise to never go to her real father, whose name is on a document she leaves her daughter. In an attempt to make Nikolai (Natasha’s father) reconcile with Natasha, Ivan persuades Nikolai and his wife to adopt Nellie. By telling them her life story, Nellie makes Nikolai’s heart soften and he forgives Natasha and removes his curse, and they are reunited. Natasha’s family plans to move from Petersburg, but just before they leave Nellie dies from a chronic heart condition; the little girl makes it clear to Ivan she does not forgive her father for his cruel treatment of her mother. She also tells him he should marry Natasha. The story ends with Nikolai and Natasha considering what a waste everything has been to that point and how they can never be togetherl.

Sunday, October 22, 2023

The Wolverine Trilogy (Movie)

Instead of just watching X-Men: Origins: Wolverine (my goodness, what idiot thought that mashed potato filled title was a good idea?) like I intended, I ended up watching all three of the Wolverine movies. They are:

(all titles above link to the Wikipedia pages. I’m not going to waste time putting up synopses for these) I am glad to have gotten them all out of the way. After Logan, I was left gnashing my teeth, almost foaming at the mouth and fully decided to watch no more X-Men movies.

Origins, as the title declares, is the origin story of Wolverine. It’s not canon, it’s not even inline with the previous X-Men films, but I enjoyed this a lot. It was a comic book super hero movie and it leaned into that unabashedly. From stupid, face-palming one liners to scenarios so outrageous that your brain has to stop, this was fun from top to bottom.

The Wolverine was a bit darker, had Famke Jannsen as Jean Grey haunting Wolverine’s mind and ended up with a battle between Wolverine and a giant Mecha made out of adamantium. That Wolverine destroys with a heated adamantium super sword. Yakuza, kidnappings, corruption, like I said, darker. But at the same time, it felt like it was trying to be more serious than Origins but it was just as comic book’y. But it was trying to play it straight. It almost worked, but whereas I found myself just accepting stuff in Origins, for this movie I kept thinking “That’s stupid. That doesn’t make sense. How would that EVEN work?” Those are not questions I should be asking if I want to enjoy a movie.

Then we come to Logan. An old Wolverine is taking care of an insane and incontinent Professor X and there’s some new breed of Mutant X warriors, blah, blah, blah. This was rated R (where the previous two were pg-13) and boy did they run with that rating. Logan AND Professor X swear worse than sailors, the hopelessness of everything just oozes off the screen and in a move that I found rather despicable, Logan spends five minutes screaming at the little girl (X23?) about how comic books are lies and not real and should be ignored. That is when I decided to mentally check out. Comic books have never claimed to be real or “like the real world”. The whole flipping point is to give some kids an escape for a couple of minutes and to show them something good. There is a reason they used to be about Super HEROES, and not just about super powered individuals. Hope, comic books offered hope to kids in a form they could understand. And this movie took that hope, mind raped it, gouged its eyeballs out, cut its legs off and then sat back and smugly said “So, where is your hope now, puny human?” I was sickened, disgusted and totally put off by the message.

So I’m done with the X-Franchise. To be perfectly honest, Logan affected me enough that I’m considering not reviewing another movie until after new years.

Saturday, October 21, 2023

[Rant] I Will Not Be One of the Masses

Brainless Book Reviewing Drone

When it comes to books, I refuse to be one of the yapping drones parroting the same lines about the same books about the same authors that 1000 other bloggers are yapping about all at the same time. Yap, yap, yap…

Which is why I will read the books I do, in the very faint hope that just maybe ONE of those brainless drones will take a chance and try one of the books that nobody else reads any more and begin their own unique reading adventure through life.

STEP OUT OF LINE AND READ SOMETHING NONE OF YOUR PEERS ARE READING!!!

Of all the sorts of people in the world, I would have thought book readers would be the first to go their own way and do their own thing. Instead, all I see is a mass of faceless non-entities. Bowls of oatmeal, without even flavor to distinguish one from the next. Even their bowls are all exactly the same.

If I have to be a bowl of oatmeal, I will be a bowl of oatmeal like this:

Thankyou for listening. Just needed to get that out of my system. Crabby old hermit mode is powering down now. Normal functions will resume in 3….2….1….

Thursday, October 19, 2023

The Colour of Magic (Discworld #1) 4Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Colour of Magic
Series: Discworld #1
Author: Terry Pratchett
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 270
Words: 89K


This is the 3rd time “officially” that I’ve read this. And I still really enjoy it. The humor is right up my alley and it tickles my funny bone. Definitely not for everyone. Rincewind the Wizzard isn’t everyone else’s favorite Discworld character, but he makes me laugh my head off.

This wasn’t so much one singular story as a series of adventures by Rincewind and Two Flowers, a tourist from the Counter-Weight Continent. They burn down Ankh-Morpork and then proceed across the land landing into trouble everywhere they go. It’s insane, crazy, discombobulated and you can tell Pratchett was writing for the pure joy of being silly. I loved it!

I was apprehensive about doing this re-read of Discworld, but this wonderful start has put my mind at ease and while I know I’m not going to enjoy every single book, I do think I am going to enjoy the series as a whole.

★★★★☆


From Wikipedia.org

The story begins in Ankh-Morpork, the biggest city on the Discworld. The main character is an incompetent and cynical wizard named Rincewind, who is hired as a guide to naive Twoflower, an insurance clerk from the Agatean Empire who has come to visit Ankh-Morpork. Thanks to the abundance of gold in his homeland, Twoflower, though only a clerk, is immensely rich compared to inhabitants of Ankh-Morpork. Initially attempting to flee with his advance payment for agreeing to be Twoflower’s guide, Rincewind is captured by the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, who forces him to protect Twoflower, lest the tourist’s death provoke the Agatean Emperor into invading Ankh-Morpork. After Twoflower is kidnapped by a gang of thieves and taken to the Broken Drum tavern, Rincewind stages a rescue alongside the Luggage, an indestructible, enchanted and sentient chest belonging to Twoflower. Before this, Twoflower convinces the Broken Drum’s landlord to take out a fire insurance policy; the landlord subsequently attempts to burn down the tavern to claim the money, but ends up causing a fire that destroys the whole of Ankh-Morpork. Rincewind and Twoflower escape in the chaos.

Rincewind and Twoflower travel towards the city of Quirm, unaware that their adventures on this journey are actually the subject of a boardgame played by the Gods of the Discworld. The pair are separated when they are attacked by a mountain troll summoned by Offler the Crocodile God. The ignorant Twoflower ends up being led to the Temple of Bel-Shamharoth, a being said to be the opposite of both good and evil, while Rincewind ends up imprisoned in a dryad-inhabited tree in the woods, where he watches the events in Bel Shamharoth’s temple through a magical portal. The pair are reunited when Rincewind escapes into the temple through the portal, and they encounter Hrun the Barbarian, a parody of heroes in the Swords and Sorcery genre. The trio are attacked and nearly killed by Bel-Shamharoth, but escape when Rincewind accidentally blinds the creature with Twoflower’s magical picture box. Hrun agrees to travel with and protect Twoflower and Rincewind in exchange for heroic pictures of him from the picture box.

The trio visit the Wyrmberg, an upside-down mountain which is home to dragon-riders who summon their dragons by imagining them, and are separated when the riders attack them. Rincewind escapes capture but is forced by Kring, Hrun’s sentient magical sword, to attempt to rescue his friends. Twoflower is imprisoned within the Wyrmberg, and because of his fascination with dragons, is able to summon one greater than those of the Wyrmberg riders, who he names Ninereeds, allowing him to escape captivity and save Rincewind from being killed in a duel with one of the three heirs of the Wyrmburg. Twoflower, Rincewind and Ninereeds snatch Hrun, but as they attempt to escape into the skies, Twoflower passes out from the lack of oxygen, causing Ninereeds to disappear. Hrun is saved by Liessa, but Rincewind and Twoflower find themselves falling to their deaths. In desperation, Rincewind manages to use the Wyrmberg’s power to temporarily summon a passenger jet from the real world, before he and Twoflower fall into the ocean.

The two of them are taken to the edge of the Discworld by the ocean currents and nearly carried over, but they are caught by the Circumfence, a huge net built by the nation of Krull to catch sea life and flotsam washed in from the rest of the Discworld. They are rescued by Tethis the sea troll, a being composed of water who had fallen off the edge of his own world and onto the Discworld, where he was subsequently enslaved by the Krullians. Rincewind and Twoflower are then taken by the Krullians to their capital, where they learn that the Krullians intend to discover the sex of Great A’Tuin by launching a space capsule over the edge of the Disc, and plan to sacrifice Rincewind and Twoflower to get the god Fate to smile on the voyage, Fate insisting on their sacrifice after they caused him to lose the earlier game. Rincewind and Twoflower attempt to escape, but end up stealing the capsule, which is launched with Twoflower inside, the tourist wishing to see the other worlds of the universe. Rincewind is unable to get into the capsule in time, and falls off the Disc alongside it, the Luggage following them soon after.

The story segues into the beginning of The Light Fantastic