On one otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.
~ Opening Sentence, Chapter One
Now, how can you not love a book that starts that way? I couldn’t resist it when I read it 12 years ago and I couldn’t resist this time either 😀 I just hope the rest of the book is as good.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Crime and Punishment
Series: (The Russians)
Author: Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Translator: Richard Pevear
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Classic
Pages: 667
Words: 224K
I still rated this 5stars, just like I did in 2012 (2012 Review) but I did not enjoy this read nearly as much as I did 14 years ago. I’ll enumerate those reasons and then talk about the reasons why this still gets 5stars anyway 😀
First, I read a more modern translation. Previously, I had read the free Garnett translation, and she was of a concurrent time as Dostoyevsky and so her English context and syntax was of an older variety. This Pevear guy did his translation in 1992 and there was a significant difference. I really felt like I was reading a modern novel and you know what? I did not like that feeling one bit, not one tiny bit. While I can understand a need for an accurate translation, I am not big on changing usage, as that changes meaning itself.
I think the biggest change, from trying to remember from 14 years ago, was that in the previous translation Raskolnikov came across as a fairly normal young man who descended into madness after committing the murder. In this translation, he was an already mentally unhinged arrogant jackass from before we ever meet him. It completely changed the trajectory of the story and not for the better.
I still enjoyed this immensely though. When you deny reality, it breaks your mind on one level or another. It might be a gradual breakage or a quick sharp snap. Much like today in fact. A whole generation is growing up denying basic biological reality. Not just on a philosophical level, but at the deepest part of their being and as such, their minds are breaking. They think they are unicorns and pentasexuals and that women are the exact same thing as men. And as a result, they are breaking in droves. The teen suicide rate is skyrocketing here in the US. In a time where the reality is that most people are living in a level of comfort, opulence and plenty that no one in the history of the world has ever experienced. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just that “one” issue, but it is the one that most easily springs to mind.
This time around, I found the character of Svidrigailov to be of the most interest. He’s a wretch of the first order and yet appears to have it all under control right up until he doesn’t. When he has nightmares and blows his brains out with a pistol. Svidrigailov tries to seduce Raskolnikov’s sister, had gotten into jail for ginormous gambling debts, poisons his wife and has some stuff in his past that makes him to be the kind of creep you’d want to stay far away from. There’s no redemption for him. He tries to redeem himself by doing a few good deeds but they are as a dirty dishrag wiping a bloody corpse. I think I was intrigued by him because the older I get, the more I see the brokenness of humanity in myself. But instead of making me more disgusted with humanity, it makes me more sympathetic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I enjoy the depravity more, or that I want to be that way, but until you realize that you are in the same exact boat as everybody else, there is too great a chance of thinking you are innately better than them. We can see in today’s world where that path leads.
Finally, mainly so as not to end on such a sad note, we do have redemption. It’s not the final and full redemption of Raskolnikov, but it is the beginning. It gives hope to someone who was hopeless, someone who didn’t even WANT hope. It was by the power of another. It is good to be reminded that we can’t always do it all by ourselves. We can’t save ourselves by our own bootstraps.
★★★★★
From Wikipedia
Part 1[edit]
Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov, a former law student, lives in extreme poverty in a tiny rented room in Saint Petersburg. Isolated and antisocial, he has abandoned all attempts to support himself and is brooding obsessively on a scheme he has devised to murder and rob an elderly pawnbroker. On the pretext of pawning a watch, he visits her apartment, but he remains unable to commit himself. Later in a tavern, he makes the acquaintance of Semyon Zakharovich Marmeladov, a drunkard who recently squandered his family’s little wealth. Marmeladov tells him about his teenage daughter, Sonya, who has become a prostitute in order to support the family. The next day, Raskolnikov receives a letter from his mother in which she describes the problems of his sister Dunya, who has been working as a governess, with her ill-intentioned employer, Svidrigailov. To escape her vulnerable position, and with hopes of helping her brother, Dunya has chosen to marry a wealthy suitor, Luzhin, whom they are coming to meet in Petersburg. Details in the letter suggest that Luzhin is a conceited opportunist who is seeking to take advantage of Dunya’s situation. Raskolnikov is enraged at his sister’s sacrifice, feeling it is the same as what Sonya felt compelled to do. Painfully aware of his own poverty and impotence, his thoughts return to his idea. A further series of internal and external events seem to conspire to compel him toward the resolution to enact it.
In a state of extreme nervous tension, Raskolnikov steals an axe and makes his way once more to the old woman’s apartment. He gains access by pretending he has something to pawn, and then attacks her with the axe, killing her. He also kills her half-sister, Lizaveta, who happens to stumble upon the scene of the crime. Shaken by his actions, he steals only a handful of items and a small purse, leaving much of the pawnbroker’s wealth untouched. Due to sheer good fortune, he manages to escape the building and return to his room undetected.
Part 2[edit]
In a feverish and semi-delirious state Raskolnikov conceals the stolen items and falls asleep exhausted. He is greatly alarmed the next morning when he gets summoned to the police station, but it turns out to be in relation to a debt notice from his landlady. When the officers at the bureau begin talking about the murder, Raskolnikov faints. He quickly recovers, but he can see from their faces that he has aroused suspicion. Fearing a search, he hides the stolen items under a large rock in an empty yard, noticing in humiliation that he hasn’t even checked how much money is in the purse. Without knowing why, he visits his old university friend Razumikhin, who observes that Raskolnikov seems to be seriously ill. Finally he returns to his room where he succumbs to his illness and falls into a prolonged delirium.
When he emerges several days later he finds that Razumikhin has tracked him down and has been nursing him. Still feverish, Raskolnikov listens nervously to a conversation between Razumikhin and the doctor about the status of the police investigation into the murders: a muzhik called Mikolka, who was working in a neighbouring flat at the time, has been detained, and the old woman’s clients are being interviewed. They are interrupted by the arrival of Luzhin, Dunya’s fiancé, who wishes to introduce himself, but Raskolnikov deliberately insults him and kicks him out. He angrily tells the others to leave as well, and then sneaks out himself. He looks for news about the murder, and seems almost to want to draw attention to his own part in it. He encounters the police official Zamyotov, who was present when he fainted in the bureau, and openly mocks the young man’s unspoken suspicions. He returns to the scene of the crime and re-lives the sensations he experienced at the time. He angers the workmen and caretakers by asking casual questions about the murder, even suggesting that they accompany him to the police station to discuss it. As he contemplates whether or not to confess, he sees Marmeladov, who has been struck mortally by a carriage. He rushes to help and succeeds in conveying the stricken man back to his family’s apartment. Calling out for Sonya to forgive him, Marmeladov dies in his daughter’s arms. Raskolnikov gives his last twenty five roubles (from money sent to him by his mother) to Marmeladov’s consumptive widow, Katerina Ivanovna, saying it is the repayment of a debt to his friend.
Feeling renewed, Raskolnikov calls on Razumikhin, and they go back together to Raskolnikov’s building. Upon entering his room Raskolnikov is deeply shocked to see his mother and sister sitting on the sofa. They have just arrived in Petersburg and are ecstatic to see him, but Raskolnikov is unable to speak, and collapses in a faint.
Part 3[edit]
Razumikhin tends to Raskolnikov, and manages to convince the distressed mother and sister to return to their apartment. He goes with them, despite being drunk and rather overwhelmed by Dunya’s beauty. When they return the next morning Raskolnikov has improved physically, but it becomes apparent that he is still mentally distracted and merely forcing himself to endure the meeting. He demands that Dunya break with Luzhin, but Dunya fiercely defends her motives for the marriage. Mrs Raskolnikova has received a note from Luzhin demanding that her son not be present at any future meetings between them. He also informs her that he witnessed her son give the 25 rubles to “an unmarried woman of immoral behavior” (Sonya). Dunya has decided that a meeting, at which both Luzhin and her brother are present, must take place, and Raskolnikov agrees to attend that evening along with Razumikhin. To Raskolnikov’s surprise, Sonya suddenly appears at his door. Timidly, she explains that he left his address with them last night, and that she has come to invite him to attend her father’s funeral. As she leaves, Raskolnikov asks for her address and tells her that he will visit her soon.
At Raskolnikov’s behest, Razumikhin takes him to see the detective Porfiry Petrovich, who is investigating the murders. Raskolnikov immediately senses that Porfiry knows that he is the murderer. Porfiry, who has just been discussing the case with Zamyotov, adopts an ironic tone during the conversation. He expresses extreme curiosity about an article that Raskolnikov wrote some months ago called ‘On Crime’, in which he suggests that certain rare individuals—the benefactors and geniuses of mankind—have a right to ‘step across’ legal or moral boundaries if those boundaries are an obstruction to the success of their idea. Raskolnikov defends himself skillfully, but he is alarmed and angered by Porfiry’s insinuating tone. An appointment is made for an interview the following morning at the police bureau.
Leaving Razumikhin with his mother and sister, Raskolnikov returns to his own building. He is surprised to find an old artisan, whom he doesn’t know, making inquiries about him. Raskolnikov tries to find out what he wants, but the artisan says only one word – “murderer”, and walks off. Petrified, Raskolnikov returns to his room and falls into thought and then sleeps. He wakens from an eerie nightmare about the murder of the old woman to find another complete stranger present, this time a man of aristocratic appearance. The man politely introduces himself as Arkady Ivanovich Svidrigailov.
Part 4[edit]
Svidrigailov indulges in an amiable but disjointed monologue, punctuated by Raskolnikov’s terse interjections. He claims to no longer have any romantic interest in Dunya, but wants to stop her from marrying Luzhin, and offers her ten thousand roubles. Raskolnikov refuses the money on her behalf and refuses to facilitate a meeting. Svidrigailov also mentions that his wife, who defended Dunya at the time of the unpleasantness but died shortly afterwards, has left her 3000 rubles in her will.
The meeting with Luzhin that evening begins with talk of Svidrigailov—his depraved character, his presence in Petersburg, the unexpected death of his wife and the 3000 rubles left to Dunya. Luzhin takes offence when Dunya insists on resolving the issue with her brother, and when Raskolnikov draws attention to the slander in his letter, Luzhin becomes reckless, exposing his true character. Dunya tells him to leave and never come back. Now free and with significant capital, they excitedly begin to discuss plans for the future, but Raskolnikov suddenly gets up and leaves, telling them, to their great consternation, that it might be the last time he sees them. He instructs the baffled Razumikhin to remain and always care for them.
Raskolnikov proceeds to Sonya’s place. She is gratified that he is visiting her, but also frightened of his strange manner. He asks a series of merciless questions about her terrible situation and that of Katerina Ivanovna and the children. Raskolnikov begins to realize that Sonya is sustained only by her faith in God. She reveals that she was a friend of the murdered Lizaveta. In fact, Lizaveta gave her a cross and a copy of the Gospels. She passionately reads to him the story of the raising of Lazarus from the Gospel of John. His fascination with her, which had begun at the time when her father spoke of her, increases and he decides that they must face the future together. As he leaves he tells her that he will come back tomorrow and tell her who killed her friend Lizaveta.
When Raskolnikov presents himself for his interview, Porfiry resumes and intensifies his insinuating, provocative, ironic chatter, without ever making a direct accusation. With Raskolnikov’s anger reaching fever pitch, Porfiry hints that he has a “little surprise” for him behind the partition in his office, but at that moment there is a commotion outside the door and a young man (Mikolka the painter) bursts in, followed by some policemen. To both Porfiry and Raskolnikov’s astonishment, Mikolka proceeds to loudly confess to the murders. Porfiry doesn’t believe the confession, but he is forced to let Raskolnikov go. Back at his room Raskolnikov is horrified when the old artisan suddenly appears at his door. But the man bows and asks for forgiveness: he had been Porfiry’s “little surprise”, and had heard Mikolka confess. He had been one of those present when Raskolnikov returned to the scene of the murders, and had reported his behavior to Porfiry.
Part 5[edit]
Raskolnikov attends the Marmeladovs’ post-funeral banquet at Katerina Ivanovna’s apartment. The atmosphere deteriorates as guests become drunk and the half-mad Katerina Ivanovna engages in a verbal attack on her German landlady. With chaos descending, everyone is surprised by the sudden and portentous appearance of Luzhin. He sternly announces that a 100-ruble banknote disappeared from his apartment at the precise time that he was being visited by Sonya, whom he had invited in order to make a small donation. Sonya fearfully denies stealing the money, but Luzhin persists in his accusation and demands that someone search her. Outraged, Katerina Ivanovna abuses Luzhin and sets about emptying Sonya’s pockets to prove her innocence, but a folded 100-ruble note does indeed fly out of one of the pockets. The mood in the room turns against Sonya, Luzhin chastises her, and the landlady orders the family out. But Luzhin’s roommate Lebezyatnikov angrily asserts that he saw Luzhin surreptitiously slip the money into Sonya’s pocket as she left, although he had thought at the time that it was a noble act of anonymous charity. Raskolnikov backs Lebezyatnikov up by confidently identifying Luzhin’s motive: a desire to avenge himself on Raskolnikov by defaming Sonya, in hopes of causing a rift with his family. Luzhin is discredited, but Sonya is traumatized, and she runs out of the apartment. Raskolnikov follows her.
Back at her room, Raskolnikov draws Sonya’s attention to the ease with which Luzhin could have ruined her, and consequently the children as well. But it is only a prelude to his confession that he is the murderer of the old woman and Lizaveta. Painfully, he tries to explain his abstract motives for the crime to uncomprehending Sonya. She is horrified, not just at the crime, but at his own self-torture, and tells him that he must hand himself in to the police. Lebezyatnikov appears and tells them that the landlady has kicked Katerina Ivanovna out of the apartment and that she has gone mad. They find Katerina Ivanovna surrounded by people in the street, completely insane, trying to force the terrified children to perform for money, and near death from her illness. They manage to get her back to Sonya’s room, where, distraught and raving, she dies. To Raskolnikov’s surprise, Svidrigailov suddenly appears and informs him that he will be using the ten thousand rubles intended for Dunya to make the funeral arrangements and to place the children in good orphanages. When Raskolnikov asks him what his motives are, he laughingly replies with direct quotations of Raskolnikov’s own words, spoken when he was trying to explain his justifications for the murder to Sonya. Svidrigailov has been residing next door to Sonya, and overheard every word of the murder confession.
Part 6[edit]
Razumikhin tells Raskolnikov that Dunya has become troubled and distant after receiving a letter from someone. He also mentions, to Raskolnikov’s astonishment, that Porfiry no longer suspects him of the murders. As Raskolnikov is about to set off in search of Svidrigailov, Porfiry himself appears and politely requests a brief chat. He sincerely apologises for his previous behavior and seeks to explain the reasons behind it. Strangely, Raskolnikov begins to feel alarmed at the thought that Porfiry might think he is innocent. But Porfiry’s changed attitude is motivated by genuine respect for Raskolnikov, not by any thought of his innocence, and he concludes by expressing his absolute certainty that Raskolnikov is indeed the murderer. He claims that he will be arresting him soon, but urges him to confess to make it easier on himself. Raskolnikov chooses to continue the struggle.
Raskolnikov finds Svidrigailov at an inn and warns him against approaching Dunya. Svidrigailov, who has in fact arranged to meet Dunya, threatens to go to the police, but Raskolnikov is unconcerned and follows when he leaves. When Raskolnikov finally turns home, Dunya, who has been watching them, approaches Svidrigailov and demands to know what he meant in his letter about her brother’s “secret”. She reluctantly accompanies him to his rooms, where he reveals what he overheard and attempts to use it to make her yield to his desire. Dunya, however, has a gun and she fires at him, narrowly missing: Svidrigailov gently encourages her to reload and try again. Eventually she throws the gun aside, but Svidrigailov, crushed by her hatred for him, tells her to leave. Later that evening he goes to Sonya to discuss the arrangements for Katerina Ivanovna’s children. He gives her 3000 rubles, telling her she will need it if she wishes to follow Raskolnikov to Siberia. He spends the night in a miserable hotel and the following morning commits suicide in a public place.
Raskolnikov says a painful goodbye to his mother, without telling her the truth. Dunya is waiting for him at his room, and he tells her that he will be going to the police to confess to the murders. He stops at Sonya’s place on the way and she gives him a crucifix. At the bureau, he learns of Svidrigailov’s suicide, and almost changes his mind, even leaving the building. However, he sees Sonya (who has followed him) looking at him in despair, and he returns to make a full and frank confession to the murders.
Epilogue[edit]
Due to the fullness of his confession at a time when another man had already confessed, Raskolnikov is sentenced to only eight years of penal servitude. Dunya and Razumikhin marry and plan to move to Siberia, but Raskolnikov’s mother falls ill and dies. Sonya follows Raskolnikov to Siberia, but he is initially hostile towards her as he is still struggling to acknowledge moral culpability for his crime, feeling himself to be guilty only of weakness. It is only after some time in prison that his redemption and moral regeneration begin under Sonya’s loving influence.
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Kalin
Series: Dumarest #4
Author: EC Tubb
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 155
Words: 45K
Earl Dumarest ends up on yet another bad world that seems intent on killing him, runs into another hot and sexy psychic chicky-boo, runs into the Cyclans and loses said chicky-boo.
I have begun wondering, if traveling seems to be pretty much blind (every story involves travelers getting stranded in bad places because they didn’t know it was bad), then how does mankind stay together and not totally fracture? I mean, if everybody learns that World X is a really bad place and you’re going to be enslaved, then who would go there? I suspect both Tubb’s view and my own are formed from our own perspectives on data. Tubb was in the isolation era, where you might be lucky to know something about the State next to yours whereas I live in the Information Age where I can converse with bloggers from Zimbabwe without even thinking about it (Hi Beaton!). I “expect” civilization to be able to share data from one end to the other whereas Tubb didn’t even consider it as a possibility. It just goes to show that your surroundings and settings do affect your thought processes.
Tubb’s writing can be a bit opaque at times. It wasn’t until I saw an alternate cover that was emblazoned with “Dumarest and Dinosaurs!” (or some close approximation) that I realized the creatures Tubb describes Earl as hunting were dinosaurs. It didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the adventure to not realize that, but once I saw those words, my mental image of the various scenes were clarified greatly.
The Cyclans are once again presented as a great menace but we don’t learn anything new about them. I suspect they will be the “standard” background villain in most of these books. The Universal Brotherhood gets some extra facetime but basically we learn that they are a “Feel Good and be an Ascetic” kind of organization. There is nothing spiritual about them whatsoever beyond the mystical new age “we are all gods” kind of mumbo jumbo you’d expect from a “universal” organization.
To end, it would almost be easier if Dumarest wasn’t searching for Earth. Besides the issues I’ve talked about in previous reviews, the whole data thing applies to this as well. It shouldn’t be so hard to track down Earth, but it is because of Tubb’s world view when he wrote this. If he were alive today, he’d have to come up with a different reason for why Earth is so unknown.
I’m also including a large version of the cover again. These things are great!
★★★✬☆
From the Publisher
Many times, Dumarest’s dream of Earth has almost cost him his life. As he journeys from world to world, restlessly moving outwards towards the edge of the galaxy where his goal lies, Dumarest must be alert, watchful. For there are new dangers – forces more powerful than man – which threaten his dream. On a planet where violence and superstition hold sway, Dumarest forges a bond with the prophetess Kalin. And now, more than ever, he needs her. Kalin. The mutant girl whose mysterious talent for seeing into the future has already saved him from Bloodtime on Logis, from space-disaster, from slavery on desolate Chron. Kalin. Who can foretell the terrors yet to come.
This is the kind of card you sideboard in against that annoying guy who plays artifact decks. Like me! 😀
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: A Study in Brimstone
Series: Warlock Holmes #1
Author: Gabriel Denning
Rating: 5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy Parody
Pages: 229
Words: 83K
If you know your Holmes stories, most of these parodies won’t catch you totally by surprise. That’s a good thing though, because it is the similarities that keep this book grounded and from becoming stupid. The basic premise is that Warlock Holmes is a warlock of incredible power who fights the supernatural, but he’s not very bright and he’s not good with people in general. Enter Watson, a deductive genius with the ability to analyze things from a completely normal perspective. Who needs a cheap place to stay so he won’t get thrown out into the gutter. And voila, a partnership made in Hades. Throw in that Lestrade is a vampire and some other detective is a werewolf and you have yourself a recipe for fun
I laughed my head off for the entire book. I was laughing out loud and sharing bits and pieces with Mrs B until she finally said “Yep, that’s your kind of humor” and I knew enough to let it be and just enjoy it for myself. But my goodness, this was dark humor and so delicious. It was like eating an icecream sunday. For example. The Crew (Watson, Holmes and the other two detectives) find some mysterious pills that Watson suspects are poison. Holmes kidnaps the neighbor’s puppy and uses it to test the poison. He tells Watson to relax, because the puppy’s lifeline is going to end that week no matter what. The puppy takes the non-poison pill and is romping joyfully around the room. All four of our characters leave and the last sentence is something like “and the werewolf accidentally trod on the puppy”. I went off into howls of laughter. There were several such incidents that just set me off and by the books end my sides were hurting from laughing so much. I don’t know if this humor would be to everyone’s taste but it was almost like I had decided to write a book and use all the things I would find funny.
I also am aware that the final book ends in a cliffhanger’y way and that it will probably never be resolved. I have made my peace with that and will simply enjoy this for what I can get out of it. Speaking of cliffhanger’y, the ending of this book definitely falls into that camp. Not terribly, not in a way that made me want to immediately read the next book, but basically Moriarty takes over Holmes’ body and that’s how it ends. If this had been a standalone book, I’d still be ok with that ending because the humor was absolutely pitch perfect.
I have also given this the coveted “Best Book of the Year” tag. Doesn’t mean that it IS the best book, as we still have half a year to go, but my goodness, I simply have not laughed out loud so often in a very long time and that by itself deserves a lot of praise.
★★★★★
From the Publisher
Sherlock Holmes is an unparalleled genius. Warlock Holmes is an idiot. A font of arcane power, certainly. But he’s brilliantly dim. Frankly, he couldn’t deduce his way out of a paper bag. The only thing he has really got going for him are the might of a thousand demons and his stalwart companion. Thankfully, Dr. Watson is always there to aid him through the treacherous shoals of Victorian propriety… and save him from a gruesome death every now and again.
Now that we know the Pegleg Pirate was simply a patsy for the Mad Emperor to acquire the power of the Garden Spirit, who was the REAL opposition to the Emperor? The fact that he had not taken over the world meant there was some force opposing him, no matter how subtle.
But who? Who would oppose such an entity, one that was powerful enough to bend the Throne of Chains to his very will? Someone motivated by revenge, by a thirst to right a wrong, someone whose family had been destroyed by the Chartreuse Emperor! The Steampunk Elf whose eye the Emperor had stolen to use as his talismanic focus of power, was not a single child. He had a sister, a very powerful sister. She was Archmage to the Hidden King. While this Hidden King had forbade her to interfere thus far, she was strong willed and she had loved her brother dearly.
While the Emperor had usurped the power of the Tree of Day and Night, the Archmage was the original owner of it and all it’s power. That should tell you, dear Reader, just how powerful she truly was. And she used her powers to divert, impede, thwart and stall the Emperor until the Hidden King was willing to reveal himself.
Stay tuned readers, for next month’s thrilling installment of “The Mad Chartreuse Emperor’s Conquest”.
Dear Generyc Blog Follower,
Yt ys wyth a heavy heart that Y pen thys myssyve to thee. Let me recount the past several days that thou mayest begyn to understand my woe and mysery.
Thys prevyous Saturday that saucy wench, Mrs B, wast ynvyted to a fellow workers house for a BBQ party. Aha, Y thought, a good tyme ys about to be had by all. Ymagyne my dysmay when yt turned out to be a saylors conventyon! Y josh Dear Reader, yt was only the dear fellow workers extended famyly. But myne ears were assaulted for upmost of 3 hours by uncouth and profane utteryngs. Never hast Y heard so much swearyng, not even yn the last fyve years combyned!
Ahhhh, yf only the day had ended. But lo, yt was not nearly done. Our new assystant rector and hys famyly was movyng and Saturday was the day of theyr arryval. Y wast not overly worryed, for how much materyal possessyons could a 25 year old, hys young wyfe and theyr 1 year old son have? Oh, Y have never been so mystaken yn my lyfe! They showed up wyth a 30ft uhaul truck (10 meters for those from the Olde Countrye) packed to the gylls wyth beds, dressers, bureaus, chayrs, couches and all manner of boxes. Y wast astounded and dysmayed but thankfully, wyth the church famyly showyng up, the truck wast unpacked wythyn a mere hour. Y cavyl not at tellyng thee Y tookest an Aleve that nyght!
Now, thou must be wonderyng why Y am wrytyng to thee yn thys archayc and outdated style. Thereyn lyes yet another story of woe. Prepare yourself Gentle Blogger, yt wyll take all your courage to get through thys tellyng
On Tuesday Y was struck down wyth the Chaucer Plague! Oh the horror! Y know yt wast yntroduced ynto myne house by that knave, that scallywag, that wastrel, Lord WordPress. As owner of all myne estates, only he can supply the mystycal codes to fyx yt all. But unlyke hys father, thys new Lord WordPress ys useless and a lyar. Whylst the effects lasted but 24hrs, the affect so addled me that Y am styll sufferyng mentally, as seen by thys lengthy myssyve. Many other cytyzens of the kyngdom were also afflycted but there was none to succor us yn our day of need.
And yet, the letter contynues. Y knoweth yt, an ympossybylyty thou safest, but merry, tys true.
Thursday wast our day of yndependence from the cruel tyrant. A day to celebrate and make merry. Or to leave the hustle and bustle of lyfe for a few hours, to relax. But Y, Y volunteered to help my church publycly celebrate. Y shewest up at 7am and worked myne fyngers to the bone tyyng hundreds of helyum balloons. And dealyng wyth hundreds of people as they streamed past, lyke unthynkyng salmon. Dyd that teachest me myne lesson? Nay, yt did not! Then some fryends ynvyted me and The Saucy Wench over for some BBQ. Did Y demur? Did Y pleadest exhaustion from the day, the week? Nay and again Y say, NAY! We went.
How Y survyved thys week ys beyond me. But yt’s not over yet, not by a long shot. But what today and the rest of the weekend holds must wayt for next week’s letter. My hand ys crampyng and my keyboard ys almost out of ynk.
Au revoyr untyl next tyme we meet!
Yours truly,
Ymperator Bookstoogycus the Fyrst
ps,
Gyve all my love and lots of hugs and kysses to Georgye and Lyttle Emma. Such dears…
In Congress, July 4, 1776
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
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Title: Mansfield Park
Series: ———-
Author: Jane Austen
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Classic
Pages: 346
Words: 160K
This is my third time reading this. Sadly, I think this is the lowest rating for an Austen story yet. First time I read it in ‘06 I gave it 3stars, then when I re-read it in ‘14 I gave it 4stars, now in ‘24, I’m giving it 2 stars. I am definitely a mercurial reader and reviewer.
I did not enjoy this at all. Fanny Price wasn’t just a milk sop, she was someone who wouldn’t defend herself or standup for herself, in any way. I get that she grew up being put down by her extended family and that she was sickly, but she is one of these people who is so conflict averse that she will suffer harm to herself rather than even say “No”, just a plain “No”. Instead, she gives all these fatuous reasons, and reasons can always be overcome by someone who is motivated. Just Say No! And Fanny Price wouldn’t.
I think part of my dislike is that since my last read in ‘14, I’ve had occasion to deal with someone very similar to Fanny. Mrs B and I had an older friend who was living on her own in a little one bedroom apartment. Her daughter needed a temporary place to stay and so she opened up her place to her. Her daughter agreed to pay the rent, as she was working a pretty good paying job. She paid the rent for 2 months, then quit her job, starting working at a convenience store for half the money, told her mom she couldn’t pay the rent but kept living there. Then she started bringing her latest boyfriend home. To the one bedroom apartment. Our friend complained and lamented but wouldn’t DO anything. We told her what needed to be done (call the police and have the daughter and boyfriend escorted off the premises and told not to come back) and that we would come over and be right with her as she made the call. But she wouldn’t do it. She wanted us to make the call, us to be the ones to kick her daughter out. And this had happened before. So we told her that we would help her but that SHE needed to be the one to take that first step. She ended up getting someone else to do her dirty work and we haven’t been in contact since. She would not help herself.
Fanny Price reminded of that mindset during this read. I didn’t expect her to solve her problems by herself, but I did expect her to take a step of asking for help. She expected help from her Uncle and her Cousin, and I must say, she was right in that expectation, but when they were being obtuse or confused or just plain stupid, she refused to ask outright. It frustrated me incredibly. We all have problems that are bigger than we can handle ourselves. But pretending they don’t exist, or expecting others to read our minds to know our wishes on the issue isn’t the way to solve them. USE YOUR WORDS!
Maybe in another 10 or 15 years I’ll re-read this again and have yet another reaction to this, I don’t know. But for this time, it was not a good read for me and I did not enjoy it. Which saddens me incredibly because I love Austen’s works 🙁
★★☆☆☆
From Wikipedia.org
Ten-year-old Fanny Price is sent from her impoverished home in Portsmouth to live with the family at Mansfield Park. Lady Bertram is Fanny’s aunt and her four children – Tom, Edmund, Maria and Julia – are older than Fanny. All but Edmund mistreat her and her other aunt, Mrs Norris, wife of the clergyman at the Mansfield parsonage, makes herself particularly unpleasant.
When Fanny is fifteen, Aunt Norris is widowed and her visits to Mansfield Park increase, as does her mistreatment of Fanny. A year later, Sir Thomas leaves to deal with problems on his sugar plantation in Antigua, taking with him his spendthrift eldest son Tom. Mrs Norris, looking for a husband for Maria, finds the rich but weak-willed Mr Rushworth, whose proposal Maria accepts but only for his money.
Henry Crawford and his sister Mary arrive at the parsonage to stay with their half-sister, the wife of the new incumbent, Dr Grant. With their fashionable London ways, they enliven the great house. Edmund and Mary then start to show interest in one another.
On a visit to Mr Rushworth’s estate, Henry flirts with both Maria and Julia. Maria believes Henry is in love with her and so treats Mr Rushworth dismissively, provoking his jealousy, while Julia struggles with jealousy and resentment towards her sister. Mary is disappointed to learn that Edmund will be a clergyman and tries to undermine his vocation.
After Tom returns to Mansfield Park ahead of his father, he encourages the young people to begin rehearsals for an amateur performance of Elizabeth Inchbald’s play Lovers’ Vows. Edmund objects, believing Sir Thomas would disapprove and feeling that the subject matter is inappropriate but, after much pressure, he agrees to take on the role of the lover of the character played by Mary. The play also provides further opportunity for Henry and Maria to flirt. When Sir Thomas arrives home unexpectedly, he is furious to find the play still in rehearsal and it is cancelled. Henry departs without explanation, and in reaction Maria goes ahead with marriage to Mr Rushworth. The couple then settle in London, taking Julia with them. Sir Thomas sees many improvements in Fanny and Mary Crawford initiates a closer relationship with her.
When Henry returns to Mansfield Park, he decides to entertain himself by making Fanny fall in love with him. Fanny’s brother William visits, and Sir Thomas holds what is effectively a coming-out ball for her. Although Mary dances with Edmund, she tells him it will be the last time, as she will never dance with a clergyman. Edmund drops his plan to propose and leaves the next day, as do Henry and William.
When Henry next returns, he announces to Mary his intention to marry Fanny. To assist his plan, he has used his family’s naval connections to help William achieve promotion. However, when Henry proposes marriage, Fanny rejects him, disapproving of his past treatment of women. Sir Thomas is astonished by her continuing refusal, but she does not explain, afraid of compromising Maria.
To help Fanny appreciate Henry’s offer, Sir Thomas sends her to visit her parents in Portsmouth, where she is taken aback by the contrast between their chaotic household and the harmonious environment at Mansfield. Henry visits, but although she still refuses him, she begins to appreciate his good features.
Later, Fanny learns that Henry and Maria have had an affair which is reported in the newspapers. Mr Rushworth sues Maria for divorce and the Bertram family is devastated. Tom meanwhile falls gravely ill as a result of a fall from his horse. Edmund takes Fanny back to Mansfield Park, where she is a healing influence. Sir Thomas realises that Fanny was right to reject Henry’s proposal and now regards her as a daughter.
During a meeting with Mary Crawford, Edmund discovers that Mary’s regret is only that Henry’s adultery was discovered. Devastated, he breaks off the relationship and returns to Mansfield Park, where he confides in Fanny. Eventually the two marry and move to Mansfield parsonage after Dr Grant secures a post in Westminster. Meanwhile, those left at Mansfield Park have learned from their mistakes and life becomes pleasanter there.
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I highly recommend you contact WordPress. Not because I think they will actually do anything, but simply so that other people know that they are not alone with this problem. If you are a freeplan user, wordpress can be reached through the Forums. click on the blue button that says “Add New Topic”. Make sure you list out what sites you’re having the problems on, what specific posts (if you can remember), what browser you are using and be sure to tell them that Bookstooge sent you, because I hate them and have been banned from the forums but I want them to know that I’m still here knowing how utterly useless they are.
https://wordpress.com/forums/forum/support/
If you have a paid plan, you can contact them through email, supposedly. I tried that and had the problem of using the letter “i” within their system. It’s totally bs and at the moment, I hate wordpress.com more than I have in a very long time.
Signing off before I say things I shouldn’t.
