I am just waiting for some Fae Lord to walk out from among the pillars and claim the throne. Or maybe, just maybe, I will claim the throne. Dangerous Fae or Unpredictable Mage of Shadow, whose Refuge will this be?
Saturday, June 10, 2023
Friday, June 09, 2023
Sister’s City (Groo the Wanderer #18) ★★★✬☆
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot, by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Sister’s City
Series: Groo the Wanderer #18
Author: Sergio Aragones
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 2K
From Bookstooge.blog
Groo has a sister who is Queen of a city. Said city is about to be attacked and so Grooella summons Groo to her aid. As Groo travels to the city he has many fond memories of his time growing up with Grooella. Of course, in the process of “helping” his sister, he allows the city to be taken over.
Man, Groo was just as much of a spaz, bad luck charm and general el stupido as a kid as he is now. Every time he tried to do something nice for his sister he ended up destroying something of hers. Obviously, his sister never learned HER lesson either, because why else would she try to get his help?
And as soon as I heard it, I knew Groo was going to mess things up. So the castle being taken over by the enemies was no surprise. What did surprise me is that apparently we are going to be treated to our first ever multi-issue Groo story! The next issue is going to deal with Grooella trying to take back her castle. I can’t even imagine how things are going to go wrong in that, hahahahaah!
The ending page was a perfect wrapup of the relationship between Groo and Grooella.
★★★✬☆
Thursday, June 08, 2023
Widowmaker Unleashed (Widowmaker #3) ★★★★☆
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Widowmaker Unleashed
Series: Widowmaker #3
Author: Mike Resnick
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 180
Words: 56K
From the Publisher & Bookstooge.blog
He was the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy, the consummate killing machine, a man known only as the Widowmaker. Now, after a century of being cryogenically frozen, Jefferson Nighthawk has a new lease on life–and new enemies who want him dead…. Jefferson Nighthawk has been awakened from his frozen sleep, his deadly disease cured. But although he still has the experience and instincts of the legendary Widowmaker, Nighthawk is now biologically in his sixties. His reflexes slowed by age, looking only to live out his days in peace, he decides on a quiet retirement on a Frontier world. Easier said than done. For while Nighthawk lay in cryogenic sleep, his two clones were killing in his name, leaving a trail of vengeful enemies in their wake. Nighthawk has one advantage: no one knows who he is just yet. But once word gets out that he’s back, every assassin on the Frontier will be out to make a rep by gunning him down. Suddenly the Widowmaker has only two choices: pick up his weapons…or face death again–and this time for keeps.
So instead of changing his name and looks, he creates a third clone and personally trains him. This still doesn’t take enough heat off of Nighthawk, so he and the young clone stage the elder Widowmaker’s death in an epic showdown, one where Nighthawk almost does die. Now the world thinks he is dead and the younger Widowmaker can make his own name while Jefferson Nighthawk can live out his days in peace on some dirtball of a world.
Reading my review from ‘14, I mentioned how short this felt compared to the previous stories about the Widowmaker. I realized this time around that is because this is novel is simply a collection of serialized stories instead of being one long drawn out story. Yes, it is all connected, but it is very much compartmentalized. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you are aware of it.
Man, the original Widowmaker is a jerk. At first it is understandable. He thought all his enemies were dead and now he finds out his clones have made him a bunch more, that HE has to deal with. But then his mule headed refusal to do anything but stand and duke it out just got my back up. Because he almost whines the entire time about it. If he had immediately gotten a new identity and a new face (which would have been wicked easy when they were rebuilding him from the ravages of the eplasia), none of it would have mattered.
Of course, we as readers get some cracking good action out of it, so don’t take my complaining that seriously, hahahaaa. So, he’s a jerk. But my goodness, he’s a wicked smart jerk. He’s learned over his lifetime and he puts that learning to good knowledge here.
Much like Santiago, this book was supposed to be the end of the Widowmaker series. Santiago was supposed to be a standalone and the Widowmaker was supposed to be a trilogy. So there is one more adventure for the Widowmaker. But which Widowmaker? I can’t remember, so it’ll be like a brand new book to me.
★★★★☆
Wednesday, June 07, 2023
Fullmetal Alchemist #9 ★★★☆☆
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Fullmetal Alchemist #9
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: Hiromu Arakawa
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 184
Words: 9K
From FMA.fandom.com
Chapter 34: The Footsteps of a War Comrade
Chapter 35: The Sacrificial Lamb
Chapter 36: Alchemist in Distress
Chapter 37: The Body of a Criminal
“Ed, Al, and Winry return to Central Command, but only bad news greets the Fullmetal Alchemist and his friends, Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes has been murdered-and Second Lieutenant Maria Ross is the prime suspect! While Maria awaits an uncertain fate in jail, the living suit of armor bearing the soul of serial killer “Barry the Chopper” breaks free of the military and goes on a rampage. Now, the mysterious Homunculi must come out of the shadows to deal with this mess before their monstrous conspiracy is exposed. But for Colonel Roy Mustang, Mae Hughes’s former best friend, it’s not about the truth; it’s about revenge…”
You know, I’ve figured out just why I am having such a hard time with this manga. The manga-ka keeps sending us down little side trails, sometimes in great detail and with a sense of outrageous silliness, that don’t have anything to do with the main plot. It simply infuriates me. It’s not a constant thing, but it happens enough to interrupt my enjoyment of the main storyline.
I think the anime creators did a fantastic job of that and that is why I enjoyed the anime so much. Even though they didn’t have the ending at that time, they still told a fantastic story with very few offshoots. I just wish this particular manga would cut the fat.
I am seriously thinking of reading more volumes in a row so I don’t have to deal with interruptions as much. But just pack them all into one review, so kind of how I used to do manga reviews back in the day. Not sure that is actually a good solution, but it’s that or dnf the series and I really want to see how things turn out.
★★★☆☆
Tuesday, June 06, 2023
Conan the Magnificent (Conan the Barbarian) ★★★☆☆
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Conan the Magnificent
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 185
Words: 65K
From Conan.fandom.com/
In the south-western spur of the Kezankian mountains separating Brythunia from Zamora, one of the hundreds of wandering holy-men of the Kezankians is drawing the traditionally feuding tribes together to witness a miracle of “the ancient gods.” The True Gods of earth, air, fire and water led Basrakan Imallah deep into the bowels of the earth to a clutch of fire-drake eggs. With blasphemous knowledge of the thaumatergical arts, Basrakan managed to hatch one of the nine eggs and bind the infant creature to his will, albeit imperfectly. Now, with an avatar of the fire god under his command, Basrakan preaches a holy war against the plains-dwellers of Zamora and Brythunia.
Unfortunately, as the creature grows, his hold on it weakens.
In secret, Basrakan has agents searching for two huge rubies, The Eyes of Fire, that will grant him complete control over all nine dragons. With them, he can complete his unification of the hill-tribes and lead them to conquest over all who would oppose him.
Completing a spectacle where his dragon kills three Brythunians as a sacrifice to the True Gods, Basrakan receives word his spies have located the Eyes of Fire. They are in the possession of House Perashanid of Shadizar.
Shadizar, capital city of Zamora. Conan steals across rooftops bound for the house of Samarides, the gem-merchant. On commission from the spice merchant, Barastes, Conan intends to steal a goblet carved from a single huge emerald from Samarides’ mansion. Almost killing himself to gain access to the place, Conan is beaten to his prize by a female thief calling herself Lyana. To discourage him from using her rope to escape, Lyana casts a black throwing knife at the Cimmerian. When he jumps back to avoid the projectile, she makes good her escape. Narrowly escaping from Samarides and his guards by going out the front door, Conan vows to avenge his wounded pride by beating the thief to her next prize.
But first he has to find out who she is.
From Abuletes, Conan learns a thief named Jamal used knives similar to the one the girl threw at Conan…until he was beheaded by the City Guard a decade ago. Jamal had a daughter and two brothers, Gayan and Hafid, who took the orphaned girl in. They were thieves as well and used clothing and tools similar to what Conan saw the girl employ. The girl’s name was Tamira.
Conan offers a reward of two silver pieces to the city’s beggars, trulls and street urchins to find the girl for him.
The Lady Jondra of the House Perashanid is know to possess a fabulous tiara and necklace both of which feature a huge ruby set amongst diamonds and opals. She is also reputed to be an capable huntress. She is also famous for being unwed and the last scion of noble house of Zamora. However, her mother was Brythunian, not Zamoran, and no small few at court consider her a half-breed, much to her chagrin. We see her snub the hopes of one would-be paramour by telling him she can marry no man unless he can equal her as an archer; then she bests him at archery.
After many false leads, the street urchins locate Tamira at The Red Lion Tavern. A confrontation ensues where Conan suggests that Tamira is a virgin and wants to bed her.
His real plan is to have her followed from the tavern by the urchins to see where she goes and report back to Conan.
A day comes and goes and Conan finds himself confronted by Barastes the spice merchant, visiting Abulete’s Tavern to talk with Conan about the whereabouts of the goblet. Asking to keep their dealings private, they adjourn to Conan’s small room on the second floor and, unsatisfied with Conan’s explanation of events, Barastes tries to kill the Cimmerian. Conan disarms him easily and stuns him with a blow to the face. Stripping him of his purse, cloak and weapons, Conan shakes him awake and throws him out the window to the filthy alley below.
Knowing that his actions will eventually bring the city guard to Abuletes, Conan arranges with the tavern-keeper to secure a horse and leave the city. As Abuletes sends a message to a man he knows, Laeta the street urchin enters and tells Conan that Tamira has been spending time at the Lady Jondra’s mansion. One of the urchins saw her leave a few hours past, dressed like a serving girl, along with the rest of Lady Jondra’s hunting party.
Needing to leave town in any case, Conan plays a hunch Tamira would not tag along with the noblewoman while the jewels stay in Shadizar. Taking his new horse he sets off into the northern Zamorian wastes intent on catching up with Jondra’s hunting expedition. [note: Jordan uses Zamoran throughout instead of Howard’s term, Zamorian, used throughout this article]
Coming upon Jondra cornered and alone, menaced by a pack of wolves, Conan rescues her by killing nine of them before the rest slink back into the wilderness. With both their horses dead, the pair must walk back to Jondra’s camp. Unfortunately neither one has any water left and the Zamoran wastes offer no chance to find any. As the day stretches into afternoon, Jondra begins to fail, so the Cimmerian carries her, against her weak protests. It is full night when Conan spies the fires of a camp. Not knowing or caring if it is Jondra’s, he staggers into camp, sets the woman on the ground and demands water, hand on his sword hilt.
Assuming the worst upon seeing Jonrda’s limp form dropped to the ground, Arvaneus, Jondra’s Chief Huntsman, orders Conan slain. In a soft but firm voice Jondra commands her men to stop and, after taking some swallows of water, berates Arvaneus for not doing enough to try to locate her before dusk. So does Conan earn the enmity of Arvaneus.
In Brythunia, in a village near the Kezankian Mountains, a young warrior named Eldran returns from the West to find his fellow villagers all bearing arms and shields. The local priestess of Wiccana, Boudanecea, takes him to her abode where Eldran’s teacher in the art of the sword, Godtan, lies horribly burned and dying. He is the only surviving member of a hunting party that went, against Boudanecea’s advice, to the mountains in search of the creature responsible for burning farms in the foothills of the Kezankians. When they came upon the beast they learned, to their horror, that the priestess spoke true; no weapons forged by ordinary men could harm the creature. After fleeing the dragon, the remaining warriors were ambushed by hillmen. Eldran’s brother, Ellandune, and two other men, Aelric and Aelfric, were taken prisoner. The rest were slain. The hillmen left Godtan for dead.
Boudanecea leads Eldran to The Sacred Grove of Wiccana and, using druidic magic, opens the way for Eldran to obtain the sword called Flame Slayer; forged by great wizards almost 3,000 years prior to defeat the beasts of fire unleashed by Acheron’s foul sorcery. Empty claws on either end of the guard once held great rubies called the Eyes of Fire which gave the wielder control of the beasts. The blade is given only to the worthy and only once in their lifetime. If it leaves the possession of the worthy, it magically returns to the mound in Wiccana’s Grove and can only be granted to another after the proper ceremony is performed. Eldran accepts the priestess’ benediction while making a list, in his mind, of the men he will lead into the mountains.
Meanwhile, back in Zamora, Conan observes the leaders of the hunting party concealing their presence from a contingent of over 5,000 Zamorian troops crossing their intended path, far ahead in the distance. Arvaneus finally challenges Conan to a duel but Jondra forbids it, so Conan suggests they cast spears for money. Conan ties Arvaneus at 30 paces and at 40 paces and then beats him at 60 paces. Incensed, Arvaneus dares Conan to hit the arget at 100 paces…so he does. Not only does he win 500 pieces of silver from the Chief huntsman, Lady Jondra gives herself to the Cimmerian because she could never have made such a spear-cast.
Three days later Eldran and his riders meet Lady Jondra’s hunting party on the Zamorian plain. In speaking with them, Jondra describes the beast that she hunts and the Brythunians recognize it as the beast of fire that they seek. Eldran tries to warn Jondra that the beast cannot be slain by normal weapons but the proud noblewoman sends them on their way. But not before Eldran out-shoots Jondra with a bow, making quite an impression on her…and focusing her wrath on both Arvaneus and Conan.
Through ensorcelled ravens, Basrakan learns of the arrival of the Zamorian soldiers and dispatches 20,000 hillmen to destroy them, to prove they are worthy in the eyes of the True Gods.
That night the Cimmerian wakes to the sound of unshod hoofs on gravel coming up the hill toward camp. Djinar and his band of hillmen from Shadizar have caught up with the hunting party and attack while they sleep, intent on killing them all and taking the Eyes of Fire to Basrakan. Conan kills a number of them while the hunters are still waking up and helps drive them off. He then argues with Jondra, trying to convince her to turn back.
The next afternoon Conan tells Tamira of his intention to return to Shadizar, with or without Jondra. Tamira promises to accompany Conan but not until after dark, in order to avoid a confrontation with the noblewoman over leaving her service. Shortly thereafter a Zamorian cavalry company of nearly three hundred riders arrives at Jondra’s camp. Their commander, Lord Zathanides, insists it is too dangerous near the mountains at this juncture and tells Jondra return to Shadizar. Trying to make Conan jealous, she invites the general into her tent to discuss her future. Her ploy backfires however and the Zamorain nobleman tries to rape her.
Conan throws Zathanides out of Jondra’s pavilion and disarms him when he tries to draw on the Cimmerian. Jondra stops Conan from killing him and warns she will inform the king of his indecent assault if he attempts use his station to exact revenge on the Cimmerian. The general takes his leave but not before casting aspersions on Jondra’s mother and Conan’s heritage.
After his departure, Conan and Jondra quarrel again over returning to the city, after which Conan decides to take his own advice and begin preparations to leave that night with Tamira. Discovering a saddle and waterskin already sitting by a fresh horse however, Conan proceeds directly to Jondra’s tent and catches Tamira stealing the tiara and necklace. Scooping her up and carrying her off down the hill to the edge of camp behind some scrub brush, Tamira kicks him as he is releasing her. He loses his footing on the uneven ground and falls atop her. An argument ensues but soon Tamira beings to kiss him. After a second or two of surprise, Conan returns the favour.
The next day finds Conan already well into the mountains at sunrise and looking back at a battle on the Zamorian plains where a huge horde of Kezankian hillmen are massacring thousands of Zamorian soldiers.
From another part of the mountains, Eldran watches the same battle and mourns for Jondra, who he is sure the soldiers were escorting back to Shadizar. Eldran addresses his men and tells them they are now on the beast’s home-ground; that he’s felt it’s evil growing ever stronger as they travelled further into this part of the mountains. He lets them know, If any want to turn back, now is the time. None do.
Further into the mountains, Basrakan’s meditations are interrupted by a group of heretical hillmen. The Imalla slays them with magic and then casts a spell that immolates every one of their male relatives, regardless of their age, in the surrounding camp. Jbiel tells Basrakan that Shamal, one of Djinar’s men sent after the Eyes of Fire, has returned, but is insane. Against the tradition of the Old Gods that the insane are not to be molested, Basrakan orders him interrogated to find out everything he knows.
Before noon, after the massacre of the Zamorian soldiers, Jondra calls a halt and orders her retinue to make camp; sending out her huntsmen to look for signs of the dragon. Conan spends the day on lookout duty, honing the blade of his sword, trying to spy the source of an oppressive feeling that has grown stronger the further they forged into the mountains.
Telades is the first hunter to return. He found no sign of the beast but did discover another large force of Zamorian soldiers camped further within the mountains, to the north. Telades was able to get close enough to recognize the commander of the force; one General Tenerses.
One by one the other hunters return, each of them finding no trace of the creature…until, at last, Arvaneus returns with news of the beast’s tracks. Despite the distance to the tracks and the sun hanging at mid-afternoon, Jondra insists on seeing the spoor that day and takes 20 men, plus Conan, into the mountains.
Reaching the first tracks, the oppressive feeling Conan has had that whole day increases. He suggests they return to camp but Jondra insists on seeing the complete tracks Arvaneus claims are further along. Coming to a small valley with many cuts leading off to each side, the earth becomes softer and complete tracks can be seen.
And then the dragon attacks.
The beast decimates the hunting party with claws and fire; each of the hunters falling as they realize that no part of the beast is vulnerable, not even its eyes. Jondra is nearly killed by the beast but she and Conan are provided the chance to escape when Telades sacrifices himself to distract the monster. Jondra breaks down and Conan carries her to safety.
Conan strides into camp carrying Jondra and Tamira helps her to her tent. No other hunters have returned. The remaining hunters look to Conan for leadership. He orders them to be vigilant against hillmen tonight for they leave in the morning for Shadizar. He also tells them to flee if the beast attacks.
Hillmen do attack that night, but there are too many of them to repel. Conan rescues Tamira from a hillman and escapes the camp with her. Finding her a place to hide, he returns to the camp to see if he can rescue Jondra. Jealous and angry that he would leave her to help the noblewoman, Tamira leaves her hiding place intent on returning to camp to steal the gems and return to Shadizar without Conan, but is soon captured by hillmen.
Returning to the camp, Conan finds the battle over and begins looking for supplies to use on the journey back to the city. He is accosted by Arvaneus, just arrived after wandering in the mountains since the attack of the fire-drake. Arvaneus is insane with guilt over first leading the hunters to their doom and and then fleeing instead of helping them. Accusing the Cimmerian of being a thief, he becomes enraged when he hears Conan’s plan to find Jondra and return her to Shadizar. He attacks and Conan kills him,
Before he died Arvaneus admitted to seeing Jondra escape the camp and hide from the hillmen. Worried that he has been so long away from Tamira, Conan goes to collect her before searching for Jondra’s hiding place.
In need of water, Jondra leaves her hiding place, reluctantly…because she is nude…to sneak to a water hole she could see from her sanctuary. Losing her footing, she slides off the edge of a short drop but her ankle gets caught in a tree and she is left hanging upside down, still naked, mere yards from the pool of water.
Struggling to free herself, she does not hear a hillman approaching the water hole until he is already there; and then he is dead with an arrow sticking from his neck. Her initial relief that one of her huntsmen has saved her is dampened by the fact that she cannot manage to free herself. Her relief turns to horror when she sees that her saviour is not from her hunting party but is Eldran, the Brythunian.
Effortlessly he lifts her down and carries her to the pond. When he begins to talk of how obsessed he has become with her she picks up a large rock and bounces it off his head. Grateful that he continues to breathe, she nevertheless robs him of his cloak, leggings, bow, knife, etc and limps off in an attempt to get away from him.
And she limps right into six hillmen.
Meanwhile, Conan is tracking Tamira’s departure from her hiding place and discovers that she was taken by hillmen. As he tracks them he comes upon the remaining members of Eldran’s band. Together he and Eldran agree that they will save the women and then slay the beast.
Tamara and Jondra awake to find they are chained spread-eagle on either side of a stone room, completely naked. Basrakan begins magically torturing the two, stopping only when Jbeil interrupts to tell him that Shamal has finally said something legible…that the Eyes of Fire were brought into the Mountains by Jondra.
Conan, Eldran and the remaining Brythunians tracked the hillmen back to the assembled horde surrounding Basrakan’s temple. They know Jondra is in the temple but only that Tamira is somewhere in the huge camp. Discussing how to proceed, Eldran insists on saving Jondra and Conan suggests that they use General Tenerses and his soldiers to their advantage by tricking him into thinking the hillman force is far smaller than it is and providing them with an easy victory. Eldran chooses Frydan for the task and the men settle in to await his return with the army.
After scouring the horde for the spoils from Jondra’s camp, Jbiel delivers the necklace and the tiara to Basrakan. Completely focussed on the gems, he discards the rest of the jewellery and prepares the binding spell that will link him to the fire-drake. He orders Jabiel to take the women to the dungeon to await sacrifice. The spell works and he orders the women taken to for sacrifice to the beast of fire. Thousands of hillmen stream after the women and the Imallas as they make their way to the next valley, where Basrakan performs the rituals to the True Gods.
Upon seeing both woman herded toward the next valley, Conan and Eldran decide that they cannot wait for Frydan’s return. Slipping down into the valley, Conan and the Brythunians disguise themselves as hillmen and join the throng.
As Basrakan completes his summoning ritual to call forth the fire-drake, yells are heard from the entrance-valley that the hillmen are under attack by soldiers. When the Imalla looks down into the sacrificial circle he sees men jumping the low wall and rushing towards the women.
Conan frees Tamira while Eldran frees Jondra and they all turn to consider escape. Sounds of battle from the valley entrance have distracted thousands from what transpires in the sacrificial circle, but many are not…and some are brave enough to intervene. Those hillmen enter the circle to stop the infidels,
But after a few minutes, the press of battle weakens and the hillmen begin to draw back. The beast of fire has arrived.
Finding himself too far away from the beast, Eldran calls out to Conan and throws Flame Slayer to the Cimmerian. Diving and rolling, Conan avoids the fiery breath of the creature and gets close enough to strike at its face. Jerking its head back in pain, the beast exposes its chest and Conan buries the blade in it.
Rearing back on its hind legs, the beast dies and topples onto Basrakan, mashing him to jelly.
Demoralized, thousands of hillmen break for the mouth of the valley and though he strides through them, none dares raise a hand against Conan. Head and shoulders above most of the hillmen, he sees Eldran and the Brythunians helping Jondra escape. Further away, he spies Tamira, his black cloak still covering her, swept into the entrance-valley with the flow of the throng, and out of sight.
Hewing his way back to the larger valley, Conan sees Tamira dash from Basrakan’s temple. As she yells something about recovering her clothes, Conan throws her over his shoulder with a curse and heads for the hills.
Rejoining Eldran’s company to escape the mountains, Conan and the Brythunians reach the foothills safely. Jondra is taken captive by Eldran as payment for her assault against him and the theft of his possessions before she was captured by hillmen. Tamira stops Conan from intervening, explaining that Jondra is in love with Eldran and would rather return to Brythunia with him than to Shadizar as a lonely, wealthy half-breed.
Tamira and Conan part from the Brythunians and ride out onto the Zamorian plain toward Shadizar.
First off, don’t click that “details” thingy above this. Some jamoke went and summarized the book instead of writing a synopsis and it’s 7 pages long. Who are these people who have that much time and energy to put towards something so futile? At least MY reviews will get read by me and millions of my nearest and dearest friends (and who have paid quite handsomely to BE my nearest and dearest) and adoring fans (who did NOT pay quite so handsomely, the cheapskates!)
Conan gets involved with trying to steal some jewels and then to protect a woman. A sorcerer is trying to unite a bunch of fractious tribes under the guise of “the old gods” and has some sort of creature semi in control. But the sorcerer needs the same jewels as Conan wants to complete his control over the creature.
Everything collides and Conan uses a magic sword to slay the beast. Which wasn’t really supposed to be possible, because only the Chosen One could hold the sword and he was already holding it. When the Chosen One lets go of the sword, it supposedly disappears back to its secret hiding place until a new Chosen One is born. So the current Chosen One tossing the magic sword to Conan for him to use just didn’t make sense. I don’t expect a lot from Conan books, but internal consistency is one thing I do want.
That’s why, even though I enjoyed this more than the previous book, I am giving it 3stars instead of 3.5stars. I know it might seem like a little detail to you and you could wonder why but I take my job as a Professional Book Reviewer seriously. I don’t get paid ½ million dollars each year for nothing after all.
★★★☆☆
Monday, June 05, 2023
Sunday, June 04, 2023
No Game For Knights ★☆☆☆☆ DNF@22%
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: No Game For Knights
Editors: Larry Correia & Kacey Ezell
Rating: 1 of 5 Stars DNF@22%
Genre: SFF
Pages: 316 / 70
Words: 127K / 28K
From the Publisher
“Knights had no meaning in this game. It wasn’t a game for knights.” – Raymond Chandler
In a world of criminals, thugs, con artists, cheats, and swindlers, there must be a man to stand against the powers of darkness and corruption. A man not afraid to walk the mean streets—whether they be those of 1930s Los Angeles, an ancient fantasy realm, or some far-flung planet of a future star empire. He is a man who knows that a “good man” is not always a “nice guy.” But when the chips are down, he understands that a hero does the right thing, even if it means losing everything.
He’s a hard man, sure. But an honorable one. He’s a truth-seeker, a score-evener.
He is Sam Spade. He is Philip Marlowe. He is Rick Deckard. He is Harry Dresden.
He is all these men and more.
Now, join Larry Correia and Kacey Ezell as they present all-new stories of fantasy and science fiction with a hardboiled detective bent by today’s top authors.
Grab the bottle of Scotch from your bottom desk drawer. Light a cigarette. Tilt your fedora back on your head. But don’t forget to watch your back. This is No Game for Knights.
Stories by: Laurell K. Hamilton, Larry Correia, Christopher Ruocchio, Michael Haspil, D.J. Butler, Kacey Ezell, Griffin Barber, Robert Buettner, Sharon Shinn, Craig Martelle, Chris Kennedy, S.A. Bailey, G. Scott Huggins, Nicole Givens Kurtz, and Rob Howell.
DNF’d this due to the usual sexual deviancy issues.
Given Correia’s libertarian philosophy, though it is at odds with his mormonism, I’m not surprised. Especially considering the recent (well 2019’ish) changes the mormon leadership have made due to “continuing revelation” on the issue. Correia seems to be very much of a live and let live kind of guy and that’s reflected in his writing and the stuff he edits as well.
★☆☆☆☆
Saturday, June 03, 2023
♪Like A True Nature's Child♪
Because there is nothing more precious than an all natural Bookstooge holding his all natural rockstar baby. Just as Nature Intended, awwwwwwww. (you can tell everything is all natural because of the trees in the background)
Friday, June 02, 2023
Earth and Sky (Bone #21) ★★✬☆☆
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Earth and Sky
Series: Bone #21
Author: Jeff Smith
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 24
Words: 1K
From Boneville.fandom.com
The Two Stupid Rat Creatures bicker over whether to bake Fone Bone, Thorn, and Gran’ma Ben in a quiche, or make stew from their bones. They are interrupted by Gran’ma Ben, attacking them with her sword. They retreat, and Gran’ma gives Thorn her sword, which agitates the rat creatures. Gran’ma suggests that Thorn may be close to The Turning. She interrogates one of the Two Stupid Rat Creatures, who confesses that they have been ordered to evacuate the valley, but is interrupted by Kingdok, who knocks out Thorn and Fone Bone, and attacks Gran’ma Ben. Fone Bone comes to, and calls for the Dragon’s help.
Smiley hears Fone Bone’s faint calling, but Phoney has another problem – the customers are nursing their beers. The pair suggest various possibilities, and Smiley mentions the Midsummer’s Day Picnic, which Lucius kept secret from Phoney. Smiley and Wendell both hear Fone Bone calling, and a search party goes out to find them in the woods. Wendell and Euclid find blood all over the ground and trees.
Kingdok continues to throw Gran’ma Ben through the woods, hitting her against a tree and discussing how much he hates the Flat-Landers. As he is about to kill her, Thorn ambushes Kingdok and slices off his arm with Gran’ma’s sword. He suffers an attack of the Gitchy Feeling, and hallucinates Gran’ma and thorn as queen and princess respectively. He cries out, and the Two Stupid Rat Creatures escort him off into the night. Fone Bone finds Gran’ma Ben and Thorn, and dress Gran’ma’s wounds as she warns Thorn that the Lord of the Locusts is seeking her.
Smith is an absolute MASTER at dragging things out, not telling the readers anything substantive and recycling whole pages of art.
With that being said, I am done with reading Bone issue by issue. I thought I could tough it out until issue #27, but this issue has shown me that I have reached my limit. Starting next month, I am going to be reading the omnibus versions which collect 7-10 issues in each one. I’ll be reading The Dragonslayer in July, which collects issues 20-27. I don’t mind re-reading 2 issues, as it won’t matter.
I am just stunned that Smith has defeated me this way. What boggles my mind even more is how he got through the whole series without the fans simply giving up on him. What kind of person does it take to hold on to a series like this and make it succeed? What kind of, waaaaaaaait for it, BONE HEAD puts up with deliberate shenanigans like this?
★★✬☆☆
Thursday, June 01, 2023
Let It All Bleed Out ★★★★☆
This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission
Title: Let It All Bleed Out
Series: ———-
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 172
Words: 69K
From the Inside Cover:
Alfie Doesn’t Mind Being Called Square
Alfred Hitchcock is frankly shocked by the temptations that surround us today. X-rated movies. Sweaty centerfolds. Naughty novels. Kids who used to cut grass now smoking it. All of this fills Alfie with alarm.
Let’s return to old-fashioned fun, he pleads. A nice gory stabbing. A neatly drawn strangler’s noose. A proper pistol shot in the dark. A scream of horror that makes you walk away whistling.
For, as the master shows in this nerve-twisting new collection, fads come and go, but evil is here to stay. So let’s strip the mod clothes off the victims, and—
LET IT ALL BLEED OUT
Table of Contents:
COLD NIGHT ON LAKE LENORE
Jonathan Craig
THE ATTITUDE OF MURDER
Nedra Tyre
HAND
William Brittain
SHERIFF PEAVY’S DOUBLE DEAD CASE (A NOVELETTE)
Richard Hardwick
RICH—OR DEAD
David A. Heller
YELLOW SHOES
Hal Ellson
THE MAN WHO HATED TURKEY (A NOVELETTE)
Elijah Ellis
COFFEE BREAK
Arthur Porges
A PADLOCK FOR CHARLIE DRAPER
James Holding
MAC WITHOUT A KNIFE
Talmage Powell
THE CHINLESS WONDER
Stanley Abbott
NO TEARS FOR AN INFORMER
H. A. De Rosso
A RARE BIRD
John Lutz
THE COMIC OPERA
Henry Woodfin
As much as I really like the stories Hitchcock puts together, I am realizing that having a smaller amount actually works in its favor. Being left wanting more actually enhances the stories I’ve already read. Instead of being a book glutton and gorging myself and feeling sick, having just enough is the correct amount. Looking back over the various books, it seems like 300 pages is the upper limit. After that I start to feel too full and get cranky about stuff I wouldn’t normally.
Cold Night on Lake Lenore was a great opener. A man patiently waits for the perfect opportunity to kill his wife. It arrives but he is seen by another woman, who thinks he did it to be with her. He marries her and the last thought is of him thinking he just has to wait for the perfect opportunity again, and that he’s a patient man. It got me thinking about the kind of people who murder others. I’d like to think that the kind of person who could do something like this (murder someone and yet showing perfect restraint until the “perfect” moment) doesn’t exist, as the willingness to do the one would preclude the ability to do the other, but alas, all you have to do is read the news and you read about some guy who’s killed 3 wives and they only caught him because he got cocky about disposing of the remains of Number 4. Just goes to show humans aren’t just simple blobs of matter, even if that’s a negative example, sigh.
The Chinless Wonder was kind of on the other side. A loser of a man decides that he’s sick of being himself and gets a disguise and creates a new identity and hooks up with some chick. Everything is going extremely well until he gets mixed up with the mob. In the end, the girl and her boyfriend were playing him and set him up for the murder of his alter-ego and then to really nail him, the mob boss. Oh, it was priceless watching the pieces move into place. I wasn’t sure exactly where the story was going but after he helped sink a big sack in the river, I figured it out and like I said, just watched the pieces move into position. It was a thing of wonder.
This was just long enough to satisfy me and yet still leaving me wanting more. The perfect combination really.
★★★★☆
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