Thursday, August 24, 2023

Walpurgis III 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Walpurgis III
Series: ———-
Author: Mike Resnick
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 173
Words: 59K

While I enjoyed this little standalone in Resnick’s universe, it just goes to show that inverting something doesn’t always work out well. In this book, everything takes place on Walpurgis III (hence the title), a planet that was settled by all the satan worshippers from Old Earth who felt oppressed that society wouldn’t let them do their thing in peace (like human sacrifice, rape, etc). So they settled their own planet and kept everybody else out.

Which sounds great in theory. But as Resnick shows in his writing here, it simply can’t work out that way. We have a world where woman are ritually raped on altars, “voluntarily” of course, where people just sit there and watch as someone else gets gutted by a knife and at the same time we’re supposed to think that the main cop guy is a moral guy who wants to track down the assassin (Jericho, who is here to kill Conrad Bland, the biggest mass murder in the history of humanity) because he killed 5 random people. I’m sorry, but those two things simply don’t co-exist. Evil doesn’t get compartmentalized like that. That juxtaposition of compartmentalized evil really distracted me. It was like a world of meat eaters decided to kill a vegetarian because he ate some fish and that was just too horrible for them to contemplate. Yeahhhhhhhh.

Other than ALL OF THAT, I enjoyed this. Jericho is a master of disguise and this story was all about him making his way to Conrad Bland’s stronghold so he could kill him. Each town he made it to held its own little adventure. In that regards, this was more like a serialized story but Resnick does pretty good at telling that kind of story, so it worked out well.

The fact that I still enjoyed the story despite the premise means this was a complete success, especially since I have such wishy washy luck with Resnick (I was not a fan of his Dead Enders or Starship series). Every time I read a story by him that I enjoy, it gives me a shot of encouragement to dive into something else by him. Right now, I have a choice of either going for his John Justin Mallory trilogy or his Weird West series. I read a sequel about JJM and I didn’t really enjoy it, so I’m leaning towards the Weird West stuff. I don’t know if it will be Steampunk or Cthulhu’ic or something else entirely.

I chose this cover (which while hard to see, depicts a ritual sacrifice of a woman by one of the death cults) because the current cover is just a grinning skull on a red background. It was the most boring, uninformative cover ever. Reminded of something Amazon would do when they release those free classics but still charge 99cents. So instead I’m showing the cover that is the coolest. You are welcome.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

Conrad Bland has slaughtered tens of millions, a butcher vastly worse than Hitler. He has never considered not killing anyone who stood in his way.

He takes refuge on Walpurgis III, a planet settled by various cults of devil worshippers. He is the manifestation of the evil they revere, but now that they have come face-to-face with their beliefs, the cults desperately want Bland to be removed from their lives, their world, and entirely from existence.

So Walpurgis III contacts Jericho, the greatest assassin in the galaxy, to rid them of Conrad Bland. But once the assassin arrives and begins to make his bloody way toward Bland’s headquarters, the people—especially John Sable, the top policeman on the planet—must face an excruciating choice.

Who is more dangerous, the man who kills from compulsion? Or the man who kills from calculation?

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

13 More Stories They Wouldn’t Let Me Do On TV 3Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: 13 More Stories They Wouldn’t Let Me Do On TV
Series: ———-
Editor: Alfred Hitchcock
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Crime Fiction
Pages: 180
Words: 70K

I had already read The Most Dangerous game several times, but I found myself reading it again anyway. It is really that good of a story.

There was a story by Roald Dahl here and I must say, it got this collection the “disturbing” tag. While Dahl might be a fantastic children’s author, when he lets his mind run unbridled, like he does with this adult stories, it is not a pretty sight. It wasn’t some sort of supernatural grotesquerie, but a case of one human acting in the most abominable way towards another. I don’t think I could have ever of thought of a story like this. It disturbs me that someone could imagine that.

The final story is one translated from a russian fellow and it was just as disturbing as anything else. It felt like a shoddy story but I suspect that shoddy translation work was more to blame. Either way, it was a typical russian story ending in madness and death. Andreyev was no master though and there’s a reason his name isn’t proclaimed alongside Dostoyevsky, etc.

Overall, this balanced out to a decent but not wonderful read.

★★★☆☆


Table of Contents:

  • The Moment of Decision—STANLEY ELLIN
  • A Jungle Graduate—JAMES FRANCIS DWYER
  • Recipe for Murder—C. P. DONNEL, JR.
  • Nunc Dimittis—ROALD DAHL
  • The Most Dangerous Game—RICHARD CONNELL
  • The Lady on the Grey—JOHN COLLIER
  • The Waxwork—A. M. BURRAGE
  • The Dumb Wife—THOMAS BURKE
  • Couching at the Door—D. K. BROSTER
  • The October Game—RAY BRADBURY
  • Water’s Edge—ROBERT BLOCH
  • The Jokester—ROBERT ARTHUR
  • The Abyss—LEONID ANDREYEV

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Conan the Victorious (Conan the Barbarian) 3Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Conan the Victorious
Series: Conan the Barbarian
Author: Robert Jordan
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 227
Words: 81K

Conan gets poisoned and has to face down two wizards, a demon, a bunch of soldiers and lots of adventure.

This was Robert Jordan’s final Conan novel and I rather enjoyed it. I didn’t rate it any better than his previous books because it’s a Conan pastiche and even when I’m thoroughly enjoying them, they just aren’t good literature. They are good adventure stories though. Fantastic pulp if you ask me.

Conan getting poisoned and then double crossed by a wizard who he thought was on his side was pitch perfect. Conan has always hated magic and magic users and we’re shown a perfect reason for that kind of thinking here. I know that Jordan has shown a wizard or two as not being bad, but they are always the outlyers and not the norm. As it should be. Wizards and the powers they consort with are evil and if you see one, make sure you run him through with your trusty steel sword and then chop his head off just in case. You can’t be too careful after all.

I do wish that Jordan had taken a stab at telling a story about Conan’s time as a sea pirate. That is referenced several times in the original stories by Howard and it is one time in Conan’s life that I am actually curious about. Oh well. But if Captain Conan ever steers his ship into Commodore Bookstooge’s area of influence, well, there will be a bloody battle to tell your kids about. And if Conan just stays a land lubber in all the other stories I plan on reading, well, no one can blame even him for being afraid of the Dwead Piwate Bookstooge!

★★★☆☆


From Conan.fandom.com/

Naipal, court wizard to King Bandharkar of the city-state of Ayodha in Vendyha, prepares to bargain with a demon, Masrock, to win control of the kingdom and rid himself of his rivals, the Black Seets of Mt. Yimsha. Meanwhile, in the Turanian city of Sultanapoor, a Vendhyan-supported plot has resulted in the assassination of a prince. Conan, employed in guarding a smugglers’ ship, is rumored to have been hired to commit the crime. Turanian spymaster Lord Khalid sends his apprentice, Jelal, into Vendhya to find out if a northerner was truly involved.

Running for his life, Conan eventually makes it to the docks and to his friend/fellow smuggler Hordo, whom he met during his time with Karela the Red Hawk. Hordo suggests that Conan leave with him on his next delivery of “fish” and he agrees. While examining the chests, they feel strangely light and, when questioned, the Vendhyan merchant who owns the crates flees. However, as he escapes, the merchant accidentally slices Conan with a hidden blade. The crates contain nothing except dried leaves of an unknown origin. Unfortunately, the blade was poisoned and Conan discovers that the antidote may lie in Vendhya, the original destination of their cargo.

At the mouth of the Zaporaska River in Vendhya, the smugglers question a tribe of Vendhyan warriors who are receiving their cargo. After discovering their chests have been tampered with, the warriors accept Hordo’s explanation in a suspicious way. Moments later, Conan and his crew learn that the Vendhyans were planning to kill them once their cargo was delivered. Soon, an army of Vendhyan tribesmen attack and set their ship alight, stranding them. During the battle, Conan gets close enough to see a caravan loading their crates. Unsure if the caravan will be friendly or not, the crew split up, one will follow the caravan, another will return home by walking along the coast.

Conan’s crew eventually close the distance and, by nightfall, have come within feet from the caravan’s distant bonfire. Conan assumes the identity of a Vendhyan merchant and, after a brief conversation with the captain of the caravan guard, they learn that the owner will speak with them in the morning. During the night, a Khitan merchant approaches the smugglers and offers in hiring them as his guards.

In Vendhya, Naipal discovers Conan has become embroiled in his schemes. Believing Conan’s involvement is purposeful, he plans to kill both the Cimmerian and his companions. After his agents in the caravan attempt without success in slaying Conan, Naipal lays a trap for him in the lost city of Gwandikian. Soon, Conan takes the bait. Lured into an ancient tower, he’s attacked by a swarm of cobras and narrowly escapes. Afterwards, Conan searches for an antidote to his poisoned wound in a nearby forest, where he has been told it can be located. Soon, he discovers the herbalist who originally treated him and learns he was in fact cured by his first treatment; the man had lied about it then to secure the Cimmerian’s aid. He, presumably, is Naipal’s true adversary. A final conflict between the two sorcerers ensues, in which both end up dead at the hands of the demon each tried to control, and the demon itself is destroyed by the spells they had lain on it.

Conan, surviving, decides to return home. On the way, he encounters Lord Khalid’s agent Jelal. The spy has completed his investigations and cleared the Cimmerian of complicity in the Vendhyan plot against Turan. He gives Conan a parchment and instructs him to present it at the headquarters of the Turanian army on his return to Sultanpoor.

Sunday, August 20, 2023

X2: X-Men United (2003 Movie)

The second X-Men movie, subtitled X-Men United, follows right in the footsteps of the first movie. This time around Senator Striker is manipulating mutants with the end goal of taking over Cerebro and using its powers to kill all the mutants in the world. Nice guy right? At the same time Wolverine is on the hunt for his past and lost memories. Plus, there are a lot of little rabbit trails that are like crack to comic book fans of the time.

In this movie, the human/mutant interaction is really ramped up, the looming war seemingly right on the horizon and the threat to mutantkind almost realized. We also get a bunch more mutants but each one has very little screen time and almost no character development. Nightcrawler is the perfect example. He’s brought on board to the X-team but beyond being blue and able to teleport, he’s nothing.

I think Wolverine’s storyline was more interesting than the main one about Striker trying to kill all the mutants. While the “kill all the mutants” might be interesting to a 14 year old, with the promise of world wide chaos, I liked the more personal touch here. Probably explains why I enjoyed Origins so much. This just extremely busy. It’s one of the reasons I am not a big fan of Team Superheroes. I like the focus to be on one person.

I think Singer does a good job here. Not an excellent job, but a good job. I enjoyed watching this again but unlike the first movie, I’m not sure I’ll ever bother re-watching. This is definitely a comic book movie but not in the bestest way the first movie was.

The twist at the end where Xavier is set to kill all regular humans instead of mutants was about as subtle as a baseball bat to the head. But whatever, it fit with the comic book motif perfectly.

On a weird note, the actor who plays Striker is the same man who plays Boris the Russian diplomat in the RED duology. Hearing him speak with a slight southern drawl was very disconcerting as I’m used to him being all “Dah, Comrade” and whatnot. It was one thing I could not get past.

Overall, this was a good fun re-watch on a Sunday afternoon but not one I’d unreservedly recommend.

Saturday, August 19, 2023

A Quiet Man (Victor the Assassin #9) 3.5Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: A Quiet Man
Series: Victor the Assassin #9
Authors: Tom Wood
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Action/Adventure
Pages: 338
Words: 94K


This was a good “killer does his thing” story but it just wasn’t a Victor the Assassin. The premise is based on Victor going against every survival instinct and rule that he’s ever had to help find a special needs boy who he promised to take fishing. This from the man who poisoned the woman he loved because she “might” turn on him at some random time in the distant future? Yeah, I didn’t buy it all, not one tiny bit.

So that is why this got a halfstar knocked off it’s shiny metal aff. Other than that, this was great! Meth cooker gets burned by gangsters. Victor dukes it out with some lowlife thugs, cuts off all their fingers and delivers said fingers to the man who hired them. Victor takes on a whole team of special forces guys and kills them all. Oh yeah, that was pure awesome. It was stupid, because he was supposedly dying from a bullet wound to his thigh that nicked an artery or something, but hey, whatever. I’m also supposed to believe that Canadians are just so oh so polite and are the best people in the world? How that trucker convoy got handled shows the truth of that. But like I said, you don’t read these books for the realism.

Plus, the cover gives it all away. In case you don’t know, the maple leaf is actually a cabalistic symbol about ritualized secrets too horrible to divulge here in public. If I told you, your life wouldn’t be worth a plug nickel, heck it probably wouldn’t even be worth a penny, nay, not even a widow’s mite! And that’s taking the current inflation into account too. Since you won’t read any more reviews by me if you’re dead, I’m choosing to do the right thing (for myself) and not telling you the secrets. Feel free to thank me in the comments for sparing your miserable, misbegotten life.
/s

Thus, this was another fantastic entry about a lethal killer lethally killing other lethal killers. Doesn’t get much more lethal than that. If it did, I’d have to kill you. Again.

★★★✬☆


From the Publisher

One day a man arrives in town. Unassuming. Quiet.

The assassin known as Victor is hiding out in a small motel in Canada after a job across the border. A few days laying low and he’ll be gone and leave no trace behind.

He doesn’t count on getting to know a mother and her boy who reminds him of his own troubled childhood. When both vanish, only Victor seems to notice.

Once he starts looking for them, he finds himself at odds with the criminals who own the town. They want him gone. Only Victor’s going nowhere until he discovers the truth and to them he’s just a quiet man asking the wrong questions.

But that quiet man is a dangerous man.

Friday, August 18, 2023

Children of the Mind (Enderverse #4) 1Star

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress, Blogspot, & Librarything by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Children of the Mind
Series: Enderverse #4
Authors: Orson Card
Rating: 1 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 334
Words: 108K

Man, when I finished up Xenocide, I didn’t think Card could get any worse, which is why I dived into this book with a headstrong attitude, convinced I was bigger, badder and stronger. Well, Card sure showed me.

This was a 20 page short story jam packed into 334 pages of complete blather and blither. I was going to still give this 2 stars because of the technical side of things, but then he made one little remark about Jesus that showed the heresy of the Mormon belief about God and so I knocked it down a star. (Here is a run down of the basic 8 issues that separates Mormons from Christianity – Link Here)

With that, I think I am done with Card as an author. While I enjoyed the First Formic Wars trilogy, the fact that the second trilogy has been stuck on book 2 for many years couple with my distaste of the original Enders series means I simply will ignore whatever new book comes out with his name on the cover.

Ugh. I hate when this happens in a series. I thoroughly enjoyed Ender’s Game and to see it end like this (Ender dies in this book, so even though there are 1 or 2 more direct sequels, it is pointless even if I didn’t hate this now with a passion) was simply disappointing and maddening all at the same time.

After Xenocide, several people asked what books by Card I did enjoy. To answer everyone all at once, I’ll list them here:

And that is that…

★☆☆☆☆


From Wikipedia.com

At the start of Children of the Mind, Jane, the evolved computer intelligence, is using her newly discovered abilities to take the races of buggers, humans and pequeninos outside the universe and back instantaneously. She uses these powers to move them to distant habitable planets for colonization. She is losing her memory and concentration as the vast computer network connected to the ansible is being shut down. If she is to survive, she must find a way to transfer her aiúa (or soul) to a human body.

Peter Wiggin and Si Wang-Mu travel to the worlds of Divine Wind and Pacifica to persuade the Japanese-led swing group of the Starways Congress to revoke their order to destroy Lusitania. By tracing the decision-making trail backwards, they are able to show a philosopher his influence on the Starways Congress. After several complications, the philosopher persuades the Tsutsumi clan to exert their influence with the Necessarian faction in the Starways Congress to stop the Lusitania fleet. The admiral at the head of the Lusitania fleet, however, disobeys the Congress’s order and does what he believes Ender Wiggin, the perpetrator of the first Xenocide, would have done and fires the Molecular Disruption Device (MDD).

Upon Ender Wiggin’s death, Jane guides his aiúa to Peter’s body, while she is granted possession of Young Val’s body, and thus is not destroyed when the ansible shuts down. She is then able to continue transporting starships instantaneously by borrowing the vast mental capacity of the simple-minded Pequenino mother-trees. She transports a ship with Peter and Wang-Mu around the missile, then transports the missile and them to inside of the Lusitania fleet, where it is then disarmed and disabled. Peter and Wang-Mu’s efforts finally come to fruition, and the destruction of Lusitania is averted.

Jane falls in love with Miro, and Peter with Wang-mu. Both couples are married under one of the mother-trees of the pequeninos on the same day as Ender’s funeral.

Thursday, August 17, 2023

Obelix and Co. (Asterix #23) 3Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Obelix and Co.
Series: Asterix #23
Authors: Goscinny & Uderzo
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Comics
Pages: 53
Words: 3K

Caesar is tired, again, of the small Gaulish village flouting his power. And another bright, up and coming young Roman decides that corrupting the Gauls with money will be enough to turn them fat, happy and lazy. With Caesar’s blessing he sets off and starts buying menhirs at exorbitant prices. The rest of the gauls want in on the action and before you know it, the entire village is slaving away making menhirs and selling them to the Romans. Of course, things don’t go quite as planned by the young smart Roman and Caesar ends up losing a bunch of money and the villagers get to beat the stuffing out of the new batch of Roman Soldiers. Good times for everyone!

This was pretty predictable, just like the story where the Roman with the power of gossip goes amongst the Gauls. Things start out as planned and then of course, the Gauls being the Gauls, everything goes off the rails for everyone, Gauls, Romans, Countrymen! And there are more menhirs than you can shake a stick at.

Once the gauls start smacking each other around, Asterix just has to guide them and voila, Gauls are smacking Roman Soldiers around, just like nature intended, hehehehe.

★★★☆☆


From Wikipedia.org

After Obelix single-handedly defeats a newly arrived battalion of Roman soldiers, Julius Caesar ponders over how to defeat the village of rebellious Gauls. A young Roman called Preposterus, using his studies in economics, proposes that the Gauls to be integrated into capitalism. Caesar agrees, sending Preposterus to one of the village’s outlying Roman camps. Upon meeting Obelix carrying a menhir through the forest, Preposterus claims to be a menhir buyer and offers to make Obelix a rich man, on the pretext it will give him power, by buying every menhir he can make. Obelix agrees and begins making and delivering a single menhir a day to him.

Demand for his goods increases in time, forcing Obelix to hire villagers – while some aid him, the others hunt boar for himself and his new workers. The resulting workload causes him to neglect his faithful companion Dogmatix, while Asterix refuses to help him, concerned on what this is doing to him. As Obelix grows wealthy and begins wearing ostentatious clothes, many of the village’s men are criticised by their wives for not matching his success. In response, many turn to making their own menhirs to sell to the Romans, despite not knowing what they are for, with Getafix supplying them with magic potion for their work. As most of the village grows wealthy, except for Asterix, Getafix, Cacofonix and Vitalstatistix who did not engage in the new economic system. Asterix believes that this new change will not last.

Eventually, Caesar becomes angered when he learns that Preposterus’ plan is placing him in financial debt. To counter this, Preposterus decides to sell the abundance of menhirs to patricians on the pretext they are a symbol of great wealth and high rank. However, this causes problems as other provinces begin making their own menhirs to sell to the Romans, creating a growing Menhir crisis that is crippling the Roman economy and threatening a civil conflict from the Empire’s workforce. To put a stop to this, Caesar orders Preposterus to cease further trading with Gauls or face being thrown to the lions.

Unknown to him, Obelix becomes miserable from the wealth and power he made, having never understood it all, and how much it has changed other villagers, making him wish to go back to enjoying the fun he had with Asterix and Dogmatix. Asterix soon hears of this and agrees to go hunting boar with him if he reverts to his old clothes, knowing that the villagers’ lives are about to return to normal. When Preposterus arrives to announce he will not be buying another menhir, the villagers claim Obelix knew of this in advance when he called a halt in his work but did not tell them, causing him to fight with them. Asterix soon breaks up the fight, directing the villagers to attack the Romans for causing the whole mess they are in. As they head off to wreck the camp Preposterus is residing in, Obelix decides to take no part in the fight. While the villagers’ wealth is gone, after events in Rome caused the sestertius they received to be devalued, they hold a traditional banquet to celebrate the return to normality.

Wednesday, August 16, 2023

The Bull and the Spear (Eternal Champion: Corum #4) 4Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: The Bull and the Spear
Series: Eternal Champion: Corum #4
Author: Michael Moorcock
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 128
Words: 46K

Corum survived the god wars. But now he is alone, as he outlived his wife and all the humans who he knew. There are no more adventures and Corum is bored, depressed and acting like a spoiled, selfish brat. Then he gets some weird visions, Jary-a-conel comes back and zippy-de-da, Corum travels to the future where humanity is on the edge of being wiped out by creatures from Limbo. Corum falls in love with yet another human princess and goes on another adventure to find a mythical spear which controls a mythical bull that can somehow defeat the limbo creatures even though it didn’t before.

Yeah, not loving this book as much as the previous ones. Corum comes across more like a boorish angsty teenager in this book instead of a melancholic lone survivor as in the previous books. It really lessened the tension of the following adventure.

It was a decent adventure and I really enjoyed that part. It was just overshadowed by the moodiness. It felt much more like Elric and his brand of emotion than Corum’s normal cool aloofness. Plus, having the creatures of Limbo coming into the world made them completely unlike the previous war between Chaos and Law. These creatures were more creatures of instinct than beings of malicious intent, which almost made it worse, because the normal way one would fight a reasoning, rational being have to all be thrown out the window. So that aspect really was fun.

I was going to use the omnibus edition cover for each of the books in this second Corum trilogy, but was able to track down these Berkley covers from the massmarket paperback from the mid-80’s. They match the previous covers in style and tone and I like that. Just a little thing, but little things matter.

★★★★☆


From the publisher

In the ancient Castle Erorn, Corum of the Scarlet Robe dwells in isolation and sorrow. He has out-lived his great love, Rhalina, and is tormented by voices in his dreams—a crowd of shadowy figures chanting his name. Unable to ignore their calls for help any longer, he will travel through eons of time to an age of tragedy, where the people of Tuha-na-Cremm Croich, descendants of Rhalina, are persecuted by the giant gods of the Cold Folk.

A great black bull has the power needed to defeat the monsters of a new age. But to tame the bull, the Eternal Champion must travel to the fatally beautiful island of Hy-Breasail to find the invincible and magical Spear Bryionak…

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Nothing Lasts Forever (Joe Leland #2) 2Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Nothing Lasts Forever
Series: Joe Leland #2
Author: Roderick Thorp
Rating: 2 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 145
Words: 67K

First off, this was the book that the movie Die Hard was based on. And let me say, the movie adaptation is a FAR superior action/adventure/thriller story than this book could ever hope to be.

This was a bitter, bitter book. Leland’s wife is dead, his daughter is working in LA for a big company and has 2 kids and is divorced. She’s sleeping with her boss and they’re both snorting coke like it’s 1980. Which it almost is. The company has made a huge massive deal with the Chilean government and has a vault full of millions in cash. The problem is, the deal is just a cover for the company to smuggle military grade weapons down to the Dictatorship. And some german terrorist group wants to put a stop to it AND steal all the money. So Leland has to fight the badguys all by himself, watch helicopters explode and good cops get killed by bad leadership and then watch as his daughter is dragged to her death by the leader of the terrorists as he falls out of the building from the 40th story.

Leland is bitter, cynical, disillusioned and spouting off like a Democrat every step of the way while acting like “a good guy with a gun” (which is a myth according to democrats but a real thing in reality). It was very schizophrenic.

And while it was 1/3rd the length of the first book, it was still just as filled with navel gazing bull kaka as the first one. This was a literary novel filled with self-loathing, hatred and despair desperately trying to pretend to be an action thriller. And it flipping failed. If this hadn’t been turned into such a block buster of a movie, nobody would know this book or probably this author. Which might just be for the best. Thorp is (was?) a pretentious wanker and I hope he got a lot of beating from life. Self-pitying assholes who do nothing but whine like him deserve a good beating.

Now I’m off to watch Die Hard to wash the disgusting taste of this disgusting book out of my mind.

★★☆☆☆


From Wikipedia.org

Retired NYPD detective Joe Leland is visiting the 40-story office headquarters of the Klaxon Oil Corporation in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve, where his daughter Stephanie Leland Gennaro works.

While he is waiting for his daughter’s Christmas party to end, a group of German Autumn–era terrorists take over the skyscraper. The gang is led by the brutal Anton “Little Tony the Red” Gruber. Joe had known about Gruber through a counter-terrorist conference he had attended years prior. Barefoot, Leland slips away and manages to remain undetected in the gigantic office complex. Armed with only his Browning pistol and in communication with Los Angeles Police sergeant Al Powell and his belligerent supervisor, Dwayne Robinson, Leland fights off the terrorists one by one in an attempt to save the 74 hostages, his daughter, and grandchildren.

Gruber and the terrorists kill Mr. Rivers, the CEO of the Klaxon building, and proceed to steal documents that will publicly expose the Klaxon corporation’s dealings with Chile’s junta. They also intend to deprive Klaxon of the proceeds of the corrupt deal of $6,000,000 in cash by attempting to access a safe. Leland interferes with this plan by stealing explosives and progressively killing terrorists and receiving multiple injuries in the process.

Leland kills most of the terrorists and, despite no help from the police, faces off with the leader of the terrorist group, Anton Gruber, who is holding his daughter hostage. Gruber falls to his death after being shot by Leland, taking Stephanie with him. Blaming Klaxon for the terrorist attack and his daughter’s death, Leland throws the cash out of the window himself. Once Leland is back on the street, the last terrorist, Karl, who was presumed dead earlier, returns and starts a shooting rampage, killing several police officers (including Robinson) and a doctor in the process, before Sgt. Powell finally kills him, allowing Leland to receive medical care.

The Detective (Book 1)