Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road

Monday, December 09, 2024

The Sign of Nine (Warlock Holmes #4) 4.5Stars

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Title: The Sign of Nine
Series: Warlock Holmes #4
Author: Gabriel Denning
Rating: 4.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy Parody
Pages: 269
Words: 98K

This has reignited my book hunger. While Sanditon started it and Mon Dieu Cthulhu and KTF Part II put a damper on things, The Sign of Nine has made me voracious again. Every time I put this book down, all I could think about was when I would be able to pick it back up.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t laughing out loud or reading horrible excerpts to Mrs B like I did with the first book, but it still fed my soul and I needed that. I was also ready to be fed. If I had read this even two weeks earlier I suspect I’d have been very “meh” about it.

It was the right book at the right time, so watch out. I suspect there will be a lot more book reviews in the coming weeks, even with my Love Saves the Day updates taking up Fridays and not posting on Sabbaths.

Once again I am impressed, and quite rightly, by Denning’s sticking to the short stories of Sherlock Holmes. Every story for Warlock Holmes is based on a story by Doyle and while they veer off, madly and wildly at times, the details included always keep us grounded in a very Holmes oriented world. If you’ve never read Sherlock Holmes, or read them so long ago as to have all the details be fuzzy for you, don’t worry, you won’t miss out on a thing. But if you DO remember the stories, you’re experience will be deeper, richer and oh so much more FUN! Denning continually riffs on the originals and you’ll miss out on all that humor, which would be a crying shame.

Watson is a complete wreck in this book. He is recovering from being poisoned by Irene Adler, he’s obsessed with her (any man who has been in love with a woman who he knows he simply cannot have will know that obsession), he’s obsessed with Moriarty, he’s taking a magical drug solution made out of his own blood and shredded Mummy and he’s got Holmes trying to “help” him. Mainly by getting him hitched to a woman so he’ll move out and stay out of Holmes’ sphere of influence, thus saving Watson’s life. That is the reason why this didn’t get the coveted 5Star Award from me.

In the originals, Watson marries one of the clients and has a happy, contented life with a wonderful woman who supports him. Here, Mary is a tyrant, who he hates on sight and she despises him just as much. Warlock intertwines their “fate” lines so they fall in love, but they still hate each other. I get why that is funny, but it didn’t work for me. Killing puppies is funny (like in the first book), but having people get married who literally want to kill the other isn’t. This is why humor is such a subjective thing. But that was my only issue and was relegated to the last chapter in the book.

Now we come to the future.

There is only one more book left in the series. Unfortunately, I have heard it ends on a cliffhanger as big as the one where Doyle killed off Holmes, but more cliffhanger’y. I’m going to read the final book, but I’m already wondering if that’ll be a mistake. While this book isn’t exactly a “great” ending, it does end on a pretty settled note. See, people who think reading has no drama are idiots. THIS is high drama.

I’d like to thank Mogsy for introducing this series to me over 5 years ago. Here is her review of this volume. Mogsy’s 2019 Review of “The Sign of Nine”.

★★★★✬

From the Publisher

Synopsis – click to open

Warlock Holmes may have demons in his head, but now Dr. John Watson has a mummy in his bloodstream. Specifically that of the sorcerer Xantharaxes, who when shredded and dissolved in a 7% solution, results in some extremely odd but useful prophetic dreams. There’s also the small matter of Watson falling for yet another damsel-du-jour, and Warlock deciding that his companion needs some domestic bliss…

Forest 1 - MTG 4E

Nowadays each set comes with 4 variations on the lands that produce mana, but back in 4th Edition (and earlier), there were only 3 variations. Here is the first “Forest” that you could choose to use. Some people didn’t care and would just grab however many forests they needed for their decks without looking at the art. Others would choose just ONE artwork version and make all 22-24 lands the exact same. Other people would choose 8 of each land exactly and others would do some mix. It always depended on the person making the deck.

I always found it interesting how the various mana cards managed to convey the “sense” of the land they were representing. A Forest is much more than just a bunch of trees all in the same place. As a land surveyor, I know this all too well. Small bushes and rocks and trees all make up what you stumble across when you’re running for your life from a bear, especially if they happen to be angry mutant magic bears! 😉

Sunday, December 08, 2024

[Art] The Christmas Witch

While Santa might drop off the presents for the kiddies, he’s outsourced that whole “coal” thing. So now the Christmas Witch exists and if you’ve been a bad boy or girl, she’ll be dropping coal into your stocking. Or onto your head if you’ve been really bad!

Look at those boots, eh? I just love boots!

Friday, December 06, 2024

Love Saves the Day, Chapters 1-3

The date given right in the first chapter is 1903. And Dame Cartland wastes no time in inundating us with the most purple’ish of prose. The saving grace is that each purple description is so short.

We find out that Tiana’s parents (Tiana is the main character, who is 19) died together from a fever they contracted while nursing amongst the local villages. And her father wrote her a letter saying not to worry, because they were so happy together and were happy they both were dying so they could be in heaven together. Oh, and they talk about restoring the dump of a castle they had inherited and been pouring their money into. I mean, your wife has just died, you are about to die and you’re sending your only child of 19 a letter and you talk about the bloody castle restoration?

It was all just a syrupy potion to mask the reality of the sadness of their death. Can’t have sadness in a romance after all. Not even “I” would want that. So I have to give Dame Cartland her due, she writes the situation well.

The scene then immediately changes over to the other main character, Richard, Earl of Austindale. Who has just found out that the will from his grandfather has made matrimony a part of inheriting the estates. If he’s not married by 30, he loses it all. What kind of nonsense is this?!? Not that it exists, because that kind of stipulation seems rather wise to me. If you have to think about somebody else besides yourself in regards to your fortune, you are going to be LOT more careful. No, what I refer to is that Richard is just finding this out 3 months or so before his 30th birthday when this will take effect. WUT?!?! That’s the kind of information his dad should have talked about with him along with the birds and the bees talk at 12. If I were him, I’d immediately fire the lawyer handling this for dereliction of duty. Like a real man, Richard immediately thinks of a solution and realizes it isn’t viable (some chickie boo who he likes and apparently likes him, but prefers gallivanting across the continent to country life). At least Richard is smart enough to realize trying to marry Chickie Boo would be a huge mistake. Good on him for that! And it gets even more drama’y when he finds out that his younger cousin will inherit everything, and said cousin is a confirmed gambler and will spend the accumulation of wealth of three lifetimes in a matter of months, thus destroying the family name, honor and material wealth. Now there’s a conundrum for you.

The chapter ends with the two main characters meeting each other.

Incredible! While the prose is some of the most purple I have ever read, and so generic and vague that it feels like a formula (Duke “insert name” with “insert pants type” walked over to Heroine “insert name” and said “insert romantic platitude”), the intent and the information are gotten across quick as a whip. The setup is completely done in ONE chapter. Man, I wish more authors out there would do things like that.

On to chapter two.

In which we find out that Tiana’s parents were typical pie in the sky dreamers and wasted everything on restoring the castle, to the point where they left no money whatsoever to their daughter. And the castle wasn’t really restored. Oh, that pissed me off. The parents put their dream ahead of their child. If they weren’t already dead, I’d be tempted to toss them off the battlements of Castle Rose. I would say they were typical English idiots without a passing grasp of reality, the kind who squander the little they do have and bring their children to rack and ruin. Shame on them. They aren’t going to heaven now, that’s for sure!

Tiana meets an old Grand Uncle who drops by for just enough time to give her a family heirloom, which she can sell to live on. Of course we know she’ll use the funds for the castle. She approaches Richard and they are both surprised when they discover who the other really is. They met in chapter one and Richard thought Tiana was a visiting townie and Tiana thought Richard was a farmer. Richard is not at all impressed with the Grand Uncle placing the burden of selling the jewelry on Tiana, and I must admit, I am in full agreement with him on that.

The chapter ends with Richard proposing to Tiana, since he needs a wife and she needs the funds for Castle Rose. It comes out of no where, but it fits with the hasty speed of this story. It wasn’t jarring, it simply needed to happen, so Dame Cartland made it happen.

Chapter three sees Tiana being highly insulted at the Earl’s proposal and storming out of the room, just like a teenager, without thinking through the consequences of her actions, ie, Castle Rose aint going nowhere except to the seller’s block without outside money. She accidentally meets the wastrel cousin and is instantly attracted to his youth, blond locks and deep blue eyes. Aye carumba.

I’ve noticed that teenagers tend to group adults into two groups. I vaguely recollect doing this myself too back in the day. There are the adults in their 20’s who are adults but you still feel comfortable with. Then there are the adults over 30 and they are just plain old. They are all the same and a homogenous group and it’s easier to ignore them and go about your own business of living your life. Dame Cartland obviously remembers this too and uses it, albeit as lightly as any other trope to amp up the drama.

Then the drama amps up again and I must say, I actually loved it! A developer, an EEEEEEEVIL developer shows up and he owns all the bills that Tiana’s parents never paid. Apparently, they were even worse than I initially thought. They not only spent all their money on the ruin of the castle, leaving their daughter destitute, but they also spent well beyond their means and left debts amounting to “a lot” (money from that time period means absolutely nothing to me, so whenever an amount is named and the form of currency, I just translate it as “a lot” or “a little” in my head). Said developer is described just how you’d expect an “evil greedy” developer to be described and he’s a complete ass. The chapter ends with the Earl threatening to toss him out when he refuses to leave at Tiana’s request. That’s how a man should act. Good for the Earl!

And thus ends this particular update for the first three chapters of Love Saves the Day by Dame Barbara Cartland. I have to admit, I enjoyed this way more than I thought I would (ie, not at all). Cartland’s writing, while formulaic and generic, gets the point across very well. There is no mistaking who is who, who is good, who is bad, who is supposed to end up with who. It is a comfort read I would say. I’m no longer dreading the rest of these updates 😀

Thursday, December 05, 2024

KTF Part II (Galaxy's Edge #17) 2.5Stars

Title: KTF Part II
Series: Galaxy’s Edge #17
Author: Jason Anspach & Nick Cole
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Military SF
Pages: 285
Words: 117K

This series is done. I’m glad. It had sunk to disappointing levels. Even here, Anspach and Cole (the authors) do their best to get rid of every “force” user and divorce this series from its space opera roots. Not particularly happy with them as authors right now.

I do have a couple of standalone Tyrus Rex novels still to read by them. I still haven’t decided if I’ll actually read them or not. I don’t have anything else to say that won’t sent me descending into a rant and I just don’t have the energy for that right now.

★★✬☆☆

From the Publisher

IT ALL ENDS HERE.

Every decision, battle, triumph, and heartache has led the galaxy to this moment.

The Republic is spun wildly into sudden war as Gomarii slavers, in overwhelming numbers, strike on behalf of their Savage allies. The battle is fiercest on a newly rediscovered world: Earth.

But galactic war is only the symptom of an older, deeper, and far more dangerous conflict. Now Keel and Ravi must work frantically to assemble the warriors needed to withstand an ancient threat, and Prisma must wrestle to control her own inner darkness. While on the front lines, Death’s grim specter comes for Chhun and Victory Company.

For once again, a Legion stands steadfast before the void.

Wednesday, December 04, 2024

The Strength of the Hashira (Demon Slayer #8) 3Stars

Title: The Strength of the Hashira
Series: Demon Slayer #8
Author: Koyoharu Gotouge
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 180
Words: 8K

In this volume we conclude the fight on the railroad train that has been taken over by a demon. He’s pretty much destroyed by one of the Hashira, the upper ranks of the Demon Slayers. There are lots of terms tossed about, like “Pillar”, so you know there are degrees even in the upper ranks. And the manga-ka then has an upper level demon show up to show that they too have their hierarchy.

Man, I’m getting too old for manga. Once again, we have a one on one fight between a high powered demon slayer and a demon and the demon slayer dies. Of course he does! Which is why the leader of the Demon Slayers should be sending out the Hashira in pairs or even quads to take down one demon at a time with overwhelming force. Weed out the higher ranks and then go after the demon king. But it’s not happening that way; because of story conventions and expectations. It’s stupid, that’s what it is.

And that’s why I’m saying I’m too old for this. I see a possible solution, a path to victory and either the manga-ka also sees it but has ignored it for “story reasons” or he’s so young that he doesn’t have the experience to see the solution at all. Either way, watching people get killed through pure stupidity because they have to do it on their own is getting on my nerves. It’s also a VERY good indication that I’m getting my reading mojo back and am ready to dive back into a slightly more mature story telling.

And if I hear even one “Yeahhh, more mature with all that Cthulhu stuff, or that faux-Star Wars stuff, suuuuure”, I’ll stick a cherry pie in your eye. Because that is how us mature folks handle a situation like that…

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia

ToC & Synopsis – click to open

“Ending in a Dream”

“Akaza”

“The Strength of the Hashira”

“Whose Victory?”

“Scattering Into Dawn”

“Looking for Something”

“Wielder”

“Move Forward—Even If Just a Little”

“Kidnapper”

The Mugen Train derails from Enmu’s fatal wound when Tanjiro severed his neckbone with his Hinokami Kagura. Rengoku manages to prevent any casualties. Rengoku teaches Tanjiro to use his breathing to close his wound and prevent its reopening. The victory is short lived when Akaza, the Upper Rank Three of the Twelve Kizuki, appears and targets Rengoku while making attempts to convince him into renouncing his humanity and become a demon. The battle ends with Rengoku fatally wounded as he attempts to hold Akaza down to be killed by the morning sunlight, only for Akaza to rip off his arms and flee into the woods as Tanjiro angrily called him a coward. Rengoku leaves parting words for Tanjiro to give to his younger brother and father, who may have the information about the Hinokami Kagura. Rengoku dies after seeing a vision of his mother expressing pride honoring his childhood promise. Disheartened by his loss, Tanjiro pays a visit to Kyōjurō’s family and learns some rumors about an ancient lost technique that looks too similar to his family’s Hinokami Kagura.

Tuesday, December 03, 2024

Mon Dieu Cthulhu! (Cthulhu Anthology #19) 2.5Stars

Title: Mon Dieu Cthulhu!
Series: Cthulhu Anthology #19
Editor: John Houlihan
Rating: 2.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: Cosmic Horror?
Pages: 184
Words: 72K

I was really wavering about giving this 3stars instead of 2.5, but when I considered that there was at least another novella featuring the main character Dubois and I had zero desire to read it, that sealed the deal.

There was nothing particularly “wrong” with this book. It just didn’t appeal to me. The main character wasn’t appealing, the tinge of madness, while hinted at, didn’t really appear and I just never felt a shiver of “will he go stark raving mad and kill everyone around him?” like I should in a properly told Cthulhu story. It probably didn’t help that these were longer novellas too.

Live and learn I guess.

★★✬☆☆

From the Publisher & Bookstooge.blog

The Crystal Void

The year is 1810 and as Napoleon’s marshals chase Wellington’s expeditionary force to the lines of Torres Verdras, the dashing if rather dim French Hussar Gaston Dubois is astonished to encounter the love of his life. But the fragrant Odette is soon abducted by the Marquis Da Foz, a ruthless and sadistic Portuguese noblemen.

Joined by a mysterious British Major, the hot blooded Hussar is soon in deadly pursuit, but what strange horrors lurk within the shadows of Da Foz’s ancient Moorish fortress? Can the heroic duo foil Da Foz’s dark machinations, rescue the delightful Odette and ultimately prevent the opening of the dreaded Crystal Void?

Yes, yes and yes.

Feast of the Dead

Dashing French Lieutenant, Gaston Dubois, is reassigned to the 13th Imperial Death’s Head Hussars and charged with leading a detachment of these “thieves on horseback” into the Spanish interior, in search of intelligence, supplies and plunder.

Forced to take refuge in the Monasterio de St Cloud, Dubois encounters the unworldly Doctor Malfeas and the beautiful nurse, Mademoiselle Brockenhurst. Yet this former house of the holy holds many outré secrets and Dubois faces fresh battles on all fronts, including the mystery which lies at the heart of the Monasterio itself, an ancient and terrible enigma which threatens both the lives and souls of all who encounter it.

Alone, deep behind enemy lines and beset on all sides, can Dubois survive his first real command and prevent the horrible unravelling of the feast of the dead?

Yes he can, yes he does and he kills the big daddy ghul to boot.

All of My “Cthulhu Anthology” Reviews

Monday, December 02, 2024

Sanditon 3Stars

Title: Sanditon
Series: ———-
Author: Jane Austen
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Unfinished Novel
Pages: 79
Words: 24K

I really enjoyed this unfinished novel. Thoroughly enjoyed it, as it had all the hallmarks of a good Austen novel with all the stuff I love about her writing.

But it’s unfinished. I had barely gotten started when it ended. I was eating the salad, could smell the lasagna in the oven, then the restaurant owner came over, unceremoniously kicked me out of the restaurant. While I was still hungry. Oh the humanity!!!!

This is yet another unfinished novel that I would like to get my hands on a co-authored finished product. Some day!

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

Synopsis – click to open

The novel centres on Charlotte Heywood, the eldest of the daughters still at home in the large family of a country gentleman from Willingden, Sussex. The narrative opens when the carriage of Mr and Mrs Parker of Sanditon topples over on a hill near the Heywood home. Because Mr Parker is injured in the crash, and the carriage needs repairs, the Parkers stay with the Heywood family for a fortnight. During this time, Mr Parker talks fondly of Sanditon, a town which until a few years before had been a small, unpretentious fishing village. With his business partner, Lady Denham, Mr Parker hopes to make Sanditon into a fashionable seaside resort. Mr Parker’s enormous enthusiasm for his plans to improve and modernise Sanditon has resulted in the installation of bathing machines and the construction of a new home for himself and his family near the seashore. Upon repair of the carriage and improvement to Mr Parker’s foot, the Parkers return to Sanditon, bringing Charlotte with them as their summer guest.

Upon arrival in Sanditon, Charlotte meets the inhabitants of the town. Prominent among them is Lady Denham, a twice-widowed woman who received a fortune from her first husband and a title from her second. Living with Lady Denham is her niece Clara Brereton, a sweet and beautiful yet impoverished young lady. Also living in Sanditon are Sir Edward Denham and his sister Esther, nephew and niece to Lady Denham by her second husband. The siblings are poor and are thought to be seeking Lady Denham’s fortune; Sir Edward is described as a silly and very florid man, though handsome.

After settling in with the Parkers and encountering various neighbours, Charlotte and Mr and Mrs Parker are surprised by a visit from his two sisters and younger brother, all of whom are self-declared invalids. However, given their level of activity and seeming strength, Charlotte quickly surmises that their complaints are invented. Diana Parker has come on a mission to secure a house for a wealthy family from the West Indies, although she has not specifically been asked to help. She also brings word of a second large party, a girls’ school, which is intending to summer at Sanditon. This news causes a stir in the small town, especially for Mr Parker, whose fondest wish is the promotion of tourism there.

With the arrival of Mrs Griffiths at Sanditon, it soon becomes apparent that the family from the West Indies and the girls’ school group are one and the same. The visitors consist of Miss Lambe, a teenaged Antiguan-English heiress, and the two Miss Beauforts, English girls just arrived from the West Indies.[3] In short order, Lady Denham calls on Mrs. Griffiths to be introduced to Miss Lambe, the sickly and very rich young woman that she intends her nephew, Sir Edward, to marry.

A carriage unexpectedly arrives bearing Sidney Parker, the middle Parker brother. He will be staying in town for a few days with two friends who will join him shortly. Sidney Parker is about 27 or 28 years old, and Charlotte finds him very good-looking, with a decided air of fashion.

The book fragment ends when Mrs Parker and Charlotte visit Sanditon House, Lady Denham’s residence. There Charlotte spots Clara Brereton seated with Sir Edward Denham at her side having an intimate conversation in the garden and surmises that they must have a secret understanding. When they arrive inside, Charlotte observes that a large portrait of Sir Henry Denham hangs over the fireplace, whereas Lady Denham’s first husband, who owned Sanditon House, only gets a miniature in the corner – obliged, as it were, to sit back in his own house and see the best place by the fire constantly occupied by Sir Henry Denham.

Force of Nature - MTG 4E

This was my favorite card ever since I first laid eyes on it. A monster that just delivers the punch, right to your face. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Of course, the recurring cost every turn makes it a beast to maintain, and the 4 forest pips means only mono-green decks would have enough green mana to even cast this. Of course, nowadays this card is complete garbage. But that’s how Magic has changed over all. Besides Sol Ring, this card is enshrined in my mind as the Epitome of Magic the Gathering.

Sunday, December 01, 2024

Trading Blows at Close Quarters (Demon Slayer #7) 3Stars

Title: Trading Blows at Close Quarters
Series: Demon Slayer #7
Author: Koyoharu Gotouge
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Manga
Pages: 187
Words: 9K

I think I’ve realized another reason why I like this manga. Tanjiro is big on encouraging everyone he meets with his words. That feeds MY soul.

Keep it up boy, I love it!

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia

ToC & Synopsis

“You Are”

“Good Evening, Rengoku”

“Train of Infinite Dreams”

“Wake Up”

“Draw Your Blade”

“Good Morning”

“Insult”

“Defending 200 People”

“Trading Blows at Close Quarters”

Tanjiro and the others board the Mugen Train to assist the Flame Hashira Kyōjurō Rengoku in tracking down a demon behind mysterious disappearances on the train. Tanjiro is unable to learn anything of the Hinokami Kagura from Rengoku but the Hashira instead offers him an apprenticeship. They are unaware that the culprit is Enmu as he uses a desperate conductor to place everyone on the train under his sleeping spell. Enmu recruits other sleep-deprived passengers to enter Demon Hunters’ dreams and destroy their spiritual cores so that they can never wake up. While dreaming the Demon Hunters live out their fantasies. Tanjiro is placed in a scenario where his family is still alive and Nezuko was never made into a demon. Nezuko’s attempt to wake Tanjiro up allows him to realize he is in a dream and, advised by a vision of his father, commits suicide to wake up. Nezuko uses her power to sever the intruders’ connections to the others with Tanjiro knocking three of them before confronting Enmu, managing to snap out of his spell to behead him. However, the “Enmu” that Tanjiro fought was a construct as the real Enmu had merged into the train with the intent of eating everyone. With the other Demon Slayers awake, Inosuke and Tanjiro manage to fatally wound Enmu.