Bookstooge's Reviews On the Road

Saturday, April 20, 2024

Lord Hornblower (Horatio Hornblower #5) 3Stars

This review is written with a GPL 4.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at WordPress & Blogspot by Bookstooge’s Exalted Permission

Title: Lord Hornblower
Series: Horatio Hornblower #5
Author: Cecil Scott Forester
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Historical Fiction
Pages: 213
Words: 82K

Napoleon gets defeated and Hornblower and Lady Barbara are in France. Hornblower and Barbara split up and Hornblower falls in with the woman he fell in love with back when he was escaping France several years ago. Napoleon makes his comeback, lover lady dies and then Hornblower is rescued in the nick of time by Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo.

Yeah, Hornblower is a scoundrel and a cad. I’d like to take a whip to him until he bleeds into unconsciousness. He excuses and justifies his unfaithfulness to Lady Barbara on the flimsiest of reasoning. It was despicable and I must say, the name “Hornblower” will forever be tainted in my mind from here on out. He is not a hero, he is not someone of character, he is not someone to emulate. He is scum and someone I would spit upon if I met him in the streets. If he were a character in the tv show “Black’s Books”, I’d cut him and totally ignore him.

It was a great story and I really enjoyed that aspect of the book. Which is why this still gets 3stars. But I will NEVER recommend this series to anyone and if I hear of anyone considering it, I will strive mightily to dissuade them.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think this is a series that “shouldn’t” be read, but there are better things to spend your precious time on. Like a 3000 piece puzzle of yours truly! Now, doesn’t that sound like a real treat? And if you put it together backwards, you get to hear my secret message that I wrote especially just to you. Wowzers, doesn’t that sound intriguing? It sure does!

So choose wisely. Will you read about a lousy loser who sleeps around or listen to my secret message extolling the life extending properties of Bookstooge’s Special BBQ Sauce™? It goes with everything from your best Sunday Suit to your Sabbath Songbook to melted goats or even whole soccer teams. You just can’t go wrong with Bookstooge’s Special BBQ Sauce™. It’s guaranteed! Unlike this book, which is definitely not.

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia.org

Synopsis – Click to Open

In 1814, Hornblower is delegated to deal with the Flame, a brig full of mutineers off the French coast, near the mouth of the Seine. It is a tricky situation because the mutineers’ demands cannot be met, but they have threatened that if a Royal Navy force tries to force their hand, they will slip into a nearby French port.

Hornblower alters the appearance of his own vessel, the Porta Coeli, so it can masquerade as the mutinous vessel. As dusk falls, he follows a valuable blockade runner into port, pretending to be the Flame. Then, once the two vessels are moored, he captures it and takes it out to sea. He then pursues the Flame, which retreats to the French port. Believing the mutineers responsible, the French send four gunboats to take her. Hornblower manages to exploit the fighting to capture both the Flame and a gunboat.

Among the French prisoners is Lebrun, the young and ambitious assistant to the mayor of Le Havre. Lebrun asks to speak with Hornblower privately; he proposes to surrender Le Havre to the English fleet. Hornblower and Lebrun arrange a plan: Lebrun’s role is to undermine those parties who would resist a British seizure of the city. Overcoming some tense moments with audacity, Hornblower is able to capture the city with a half battalion of Royal Marines and finds himself its military governor.

Hornblower finds his new duties different from that of commanding a naval vessel or squadron. He finds his role demanding, in part because he is such a demanding perfectionist. The Duke of Angoulême, one of the heirs to the Bourbon dynasty, is sent to assume control of the civil leadership.

Hornblower hears that Napoleon has been able to amass a strong force, to be transported by barge down the Seine to retake Le Havre. He sends a force, borne by half a dozen large ship’s boats, to try to blow up the barges and ammunition. He puts his best friend, Captain William Bush, in command. The raid is a success and the French force is stopped, but an unexpected explosion kills most of the British, including Bush.

Hornblower is raised to the peerage, possibly in part to provide him with more dignity, gravitas, when dealing with the French heir’s entourage, as well to reward him for his accomplishments.

During the following peace, Hornblower’s wife Barbara accompanies her brother, the Duke of Wellington, to the Congress of Vienna, leaving Hornblower at loose ends. He decides to visit the Comte de Graçay, where he resumes his relationship with the Comte’s widowed daughter-in-law, Marie. When Napoleon escapes from Elba and raises a new army, Hornblower, the Comte and Marie lead a guerrilla fight against the Imperial forces. They are eventually defeated, and Marie dies from a leg wound. Hornblower and the Comte are captured and condemned to death, but news of the Emperor’s defeat at the Battle of Waterloo arrives just in time to save their lives.

All of My “Horatio Hornblower” Reviews

Friday, April 19, 2024

PSA: Turn OFF the Block Editor Comments

In case you hadn’t noticed, WordPress.com decided to shove the block editor down our throats in our comments section. I know, I know. Huge swathes of the community were calling for this. The majority of users needed this. In fact, the world as we know it would end in a fiery cataclysmic fireball if WordPress.com hadn’t instituted this life saving change.

If you would like to turn this option off and make your comment section be the same as it has been for years, if not decades, you will need to go to: https://wordpress.com/settings/discussion/ and turn off the “Enable Blocks in comments” item. I have put up a picture and highlighted everything in angry red to help you.

If you are fine with the block editor in your comments then you don’t need to do anything.

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Derai (Dumarest #2) 3.5Stars

Title: Derai
Series: Dumarest #2
Author: EC Tubb
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 188
Words: 60K

Dumarest is hired to escort a young woman back to her home planet. Normally he wouldn’t care to, but she claims to be a telepath and has some knowledge of mythical Earth. In the process, he falls in love with her and ends up in some sort of Death Game to help her family, which would somehow help her. She ends up getting a fatal wound and is put in some sort of cocoon thingy. Another Love That Wasn’t Meant To Be. I have a feeling a lot of these stories about Dumarest will follow that pattern.

I am beginning to wonder if the Cyclans, a group of humanity that is trying to become pure brain power is what sparked the idea of the Cylons in Battlestar Galactica. That’s just one of those random thoughts I had. Nothing to base it on really besides the coincidence of the names.

Dumarest is a great leading character. He’s mature, he’s not stupid, he thinks his actions through (for the most part) and he’s not afraid to do what is necessary to get a job done. And he sticks to his goal of finding Earth. Of course, I do wonder WHY he wants to find Earth so bad. It was a horrible, burnt out wasteland when he left it, filled with horrible people barely surviving. It is not some paradise he was stolen from. He left it for a reason. So why does his whole existence now center around getting back? I don’t feel that Tubbs (the author, but man, I want to make some serious fat jokes now) has really provided a reasonable explanation other than tapping into a collective desire to “go back” that most of humanity has. I realize nostalgia can be a powerful, driving force, but nostalgia for a place where people beat you, used you and tried to kill you? Yeah, something doesn’t scan with that.

However, the story itself is still quite enjoyable. Adventure, telepaths, dastardly family politics, evil Cyclans. This has it all and Tubbs does a great job of weaving a very entertaining story out of all those parts.

Now that cover. Is that fantastic or what? Of course, it has NOTHING whatsoever to do with the story but man, I’d buy a book with that cover in a heartbeat. I’m giving this the cover love tag because of that and it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s the featured cover at the end of the month. Unless something else really knocks my socks off. But anything else will have to be really gooooood to do that.

★★★✬☆

From Wikipedia.org

Synopsis – Click to Open

Dumarest is recruited to escort a waif of a woman lost on an unfamiliar world back to her home and family. Upon delivery he is recruited to assist the family further by participating in a trial to benefit their patriarch. The waif is the Lady Derai, heiress to a noble house, and they are able to succeed due to special circumstances relating to Derai. In the end, he is confronted with a member of the Cyclan once again and his victory is tainted by sacrifice.

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

Marvel Champions: The Playening I

The Day Has Arrived. Bookstooge MacLeod, better known as The Lowlander, was the only warrior left in the whole world who could take on, gasp, The Game! He had spent months preparing for this moment. History, nay, possibly the very existence of the human race would be decided in this clash of the Titan(anic ego)s. Did he triumph, did good overcome evil and smash its face in?

Well, let’s just say it’s a REALLY good thing the fate of the world was NOT hanging in the balance.

I actually played two games. Both with the premade hero and villain decks that the set came with. First I played Spiderman and fought against the Rhino trying to break into SHIELD. That was an utter disaster. Rhino literally stomped all over me and completed his scheme of breaking in, which won him the game.

The second game I chose Captain Marvel and went up against the Rhino again. Spiderman’s deck was a tricksy “Justice” deck that relied on cards combo’ing off of each other to get things done. Cpt Marvel was an “Aggression” deck and relied on powerful attacks, just my style of play. I beat the snot out of Rhino for the first couple of rounds. I destroyed his Version 1 form and had his Version II (not pictured) on the ropes. I had Hulk out and between him and Cpt Marvel, they did a world of damage. Of course, Hulk disappeared after one turn, but he got his licks in. I thought that was going to be good enough. Then in one turn Rhino attacked me for double his usual amount and the Encounters were both Minions that attacked me. There was literally nothing I could do but sit there and get punched in the face, time after time after time. The last minion was a puny little 1 Attack guy but since I was only at 1 health, that’s all it took. It “felt” like I had been pummeled and it really gave me the vibe of getting stomped by a super villain.

In one sense, it was incredibly frustrating. I was still dealing with looking at cards and figuring out all the various symbology’s of everything (anywhere from 3-6 on the cards shown above). I also had a quite a few questions as I played. Thankfully, Spalanz was available on WhatsApp and was able to answer them all, but without him I’d probably have just made up my own rules about the situation without ever knowing if it was actually correct or not. I hate playing games that way. I want to know the rules and know how to apply them, correctly. That’s just how I’m wired 😀 Another thing is that a lot of the text and symbols are hard for me to see because of my eyes and I was doing a lot of squinting, which gave me a head ache. So from a purely enjoyment standpoint, the games were complete and utter failures. I did NOT enjoy myself. BUT!

I almost never enjoy things the first time around. I don’t do well with new situations or new rules, etc. I know this about myself. I like familiar things, things I am comfortable with, things I already know. Like pizza. Faced with the choice between a frozen Red Baron cheese pizza or homemade Kzaxistonian kreetled spinoralash, I’ll choose the pizza every single time.

I did not hate the game mechanics of Marvel Champions. That means that I need repeated playing to become familiar with it and THEN I’ll start enjoying it, thoroughly I suspect. It is just going to take time. So expect some more Playening posts as I learn the game and figure out what in the world I’m doing. In many ways, I feel like Spiderman just after he got his powers. Everything is new and weird and I just don’t know what is going to happen next.

Which is really good for me. I need to be shaken up every couple of years. I don’t want to stagnate on any level.

As I end this post, I’d like to leave you with that famous phrase from The Lowlander, the one everyone knows and repeats, even if they don’t know what it means. Think about it and apply it to your own life. You won’t regret it.

There Can Be.....
..... Only None!

Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Dark Victory (Galaxy's Edge #12) 4Stars

Title: Dark Victory
Series: Galaxy’s Edge #12
Author: Jason Anspach & Nick Cole
Rating: 4 of 5 Stars
Genre: Space Opera
Pages: 294
Words: 103K

Well, until I see body parts spattered all over, or the the complete wreckage of a ship, never trust that someone is dead until then. Those are wise words to live by. And I lived by them. And the authors lived by them, because the princess was NOT dead like was implied in the previous book. Instead, she gets picked up by slavers and taken to a slaver planet to be sold. Hurray! Because you know Keel/Ford/Wraith/NeoRechs (my goodness, just how many identities are the authors going to give this guy? He needs to find himself) is going to come kicking down the door to rescue her. And he does. With the help of Blackleaf and the ultra-kajillionaire. And the Savages make a real comeback!

We’re talking Savage Wars 2.0 right around the corner. It’s going to be brutal.

Ravi, now fully revealed as an Ancient One, does what he can to oppose the Ancient Evil that is trying to destroy our galaxy. Like many of the literary Mentors of the Light, he doesn’t appear to be doing a lot. But you know he’s set stuff in motion and letting it play out. Evil Red Yoda (Urmo is his name) trains up another Champion of Evil and lets him loose. Little Girl Jedi finds her mother and it turns out she is a Savage, one who is able to manipulate the same forces as Ravi, and her daughter. Things are really starting to escalate.

I fully enjoyed this. And that is all I want from these Galaxy Edge books, just to sit down, read and have a killing blast of a time.

★★★★☆

From Galaxysedge.fandom.com

Galaxy’s Edge Season Two continues as a divided galaxy is navigated by heroes forced to chart their own dangerous courses.Wraith, seeking to acquire intel on the mysterious Kill Team Ice, finds himself teamed up with an unlikely Nether Ops ally. Zora and Garret, in pursuit of a lost friend, will have their loyalty to Captain Keel tested. And the strain on Nilo and Black Leaf continues to grow, with unexpected intensity.For all of them, the path forward is a crooked one, weaving through House of Reason loyalists, Bronze Guild bounty hunters, brutal slavers, Legion operators, and the mysteries now emerging from the empty and foreboding space beyond galaxy’s edge. And each step along that path only seems to reveal a new, darker truth about what’s coming for them.

Monday, April 15, 2024

Drain Life - MTG 4E

Sunday, April 14, 2024

Persuasion (2008 Movie)

Having read Persuasion last week, I just couldn’t pass up an opportunity to watch a new-to-me movie version. I have previously watched the 1995 version, but it really felt like that version just touched on the highlights of the story without getting into the nitty gritty details. It was enjoyable but not something I’d ever want to watch again. So I cruised on over to Amazon and perused their free offerings of Austen’s works. Thankfully, this 2008 BBC production was available, so I sat back and enjoyed.

First, this went off the story in a couple of places, mainly the ending. In this, Wentworth somehow buys the Elliott home estate and gives it to Anne as a wedding present. That never happened in the book. There were also a couple of smaller issues throughout the movie but they weren’t enough to really take notice of.

What really stood out to me was the emotional side of things. There was one scene where Anne is reading a letter from her brother-in-law stating that Wentworth is sure to be married. She’s just sobbing and you can feel her pain, the knowledge that she will never have the chance to be with Wentworth ripping her heart completely apart. You’d have to be a stone, or never experienced that level of heartbreak, to not be moved by it. That scene alone made this a great movie.

I really enjoyed watching this for free. I don’t think I’d go out and buy it, but if you can see it for free, go for it! Of course, read the book first. ALWAYS read the book first.

Saturday, April 13, 2024

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (THGttG #1) 3.5Stars

Title: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Series: THGttG #1
Author: Douglas Adams
Rating: 3.5 of 5 Stars
Genre: SF
Pages: 184
Words: 50K

I first read these in the late 90’s and laughed my head off. I can still remember how my stomach and sides hurt from laughing so much. It was gloriously ridiculous and in the midst of all the stresses of going through Bibleschool (and all of the attendant growing up I had to do), it was exactly what I needed. When I read the series again in ‘09, I had just gotten married, life was good (but hard due to the recession of ‘08 being in full swing) and I didn’t need any silliness in my life. Hence my “feelingometer” swung over to the “This is Stupid” side of things and I was not impressed at all. Quite the change. Which brings us to the present.

I am now fully mature, wise, sagacious, totally even keeled emotionally and generally in control of every aspect of my life. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAA!
~wipes tears from eyes~
Ahhh, good one Bookstooge, good one.

I definitely enjoyed this more than my time in ‘09 and yet at the same time, I found this very disturbing.

Most of that is due to Adam’s philosophy of Hedonistic Nihilism. It boils down to taking as much pleasure from your existence because you’re going to die and then that’s that. It is a horrible, horrible way to go through life and while Adams covers things up with lots of humor and silliness, that dark thought is there through the whole book. As a Christian, what Adams assumes is completely antithetical to my entire world view. After thinking about it for a bit, I realized it wasn’t so much that the inclusion of such a philosophy bothered me, but that Adams seemed to truly enjoy rubbing the readers’ faces into it. Time after time he has a character expound on just how insignificant and pointless life is. That kind of thinking is how you break someone down psychologically. It is, simply put, evil. With Resurrection Sunday just past, it’s very apropos to speak the truth to the lie of what Adams spouts here: Humans, as individuals, have value and are valuable because they are created in the image of God and Jesus Himself died and then rose from the dead for each person in existence. If God Himself thinks we are valuable enough to make that kind of sacrifice for, well, you won’t hear me deny it or claim otherwise.

Storywise, this is just plain bonkers. Things happen. Quickly. Outrageously. Continuously. Arthur, the main character, goes from finding out his house is going to be bulldozed for a bypass to having the Earth blownup, to getting thrown out an airlock by aliens, to meeting the two-headed President of the Universe to finding out that two mice want his brain for Scyenze. And it all ends with everyone going for a bite to eat at a restaurant. Crazy man, just plain craaaaaaazy.

If you want a short, madcap adventure, this is the series for you. Chaos and silliness abound on every page.

★★★✬☆

From Wikipedia

Synopsis – Click to Open

The novel opens with an introduction describing the human race as a primitive and deeply unhappy species, while also introducing an electronic encyclopedia called the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy which provides information on every planet in the galaxy. Earthman and Englishman Arthur Dent awakens in his home in the West Country to discover that the local planning council is trying to demolish his house to build a bypass, and lies down in front of the bulldozer to stop it. His friend Ford Prefect convinces the lead bureaucrat to lie down in Arthur’s stead so that he can take Arthur to the local pub. The construction crew begin demolishing the house anyway, but are interrupted by the sudden arrival of a fleet of spaceships. The Vogons, the callous race of civil servants running the fleet, announce that they have come to demolish Earth to make way for a hyperspace expressway, and promptly destroy the planet. Ford and Arthur survive by hitching a ride on the spaceship, much to Arthur’s amazement. Ford reveals to Arthur he is an alien researcher for the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, from a small planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse who has been posing as an out-of-work actor from Guildford for 15 years, and this was why they were able to hitch a ride on the alien ship. They are quickly discovered by the Vogons, who torture them by forcing them to listen to their poetry and then toss them out of an airlock.

Meanwhile Zaphod Beeblebrox, Ford’s “semi-cousin” and the President of the Galaxy, steals the spaceship Heart of Gold at its unveiling with his human companion, Trillian. The Heart of Gold is equipped with an “Infinite Improbability Drive” that allows it to travel instantaneously to any point in space by simultaneously passing through every point in the universe at once. However, the Infinite Improbability Drive has a side effect of causing impossible coincidences to occur in the physical universe. One of these improbable events occurs when Arthur and Ford are rescued by the Heart of Gold as it travels using the Infinite Improbability Drive. Zaphod takes his passengers — Arthur, Ford, a depressed robot named Marvin, and Trillian — to a legendary planet named Magrathea. Its inhabitants were said to have specialized in custom-building planets for others and to have vanished after becoming so rich that the rest of the galaxy became poor. Although Ford initially doubts that the planet is Magrathea, the planet’s computers send them warning messages to leave before firing two nuclear missiles at the Heart of Gold. Arthur inadvertently saves them by activating the Infinite Improbability Drive improperly, which also opens an underground passage. As the ship lands, Trillian’s pet mice Frankie and Benjy escape.

On Magrathea, Zaphod, Ford, and Trillian venture down to the planet’s interior while leaving Arthur and Marvin outside. In the tunnels, Zaphod reveals that his actions are not a result of his own decisions, but instead motivated by neural programming that he was seemingly involved in but has no memory of. As Zaphod explains how he discovered this, the trio are trapped and knocked out with sleeping gas. On the surface, Arthur is met by a resident of Magrathea, a man named Slartibartfast, who explains that the Magratheans have been in stasis to wait out an economic recession. They have temporarily reawakened to reconstruct a second version of Earth commissioned by mice, who were in fact the most intelligent species on Earth. Slartibartfast brings Arthur to Magrathea’s planet construction facility, and shows Arthur that in the distant past, a race of “hyperintelligent, pan-dimensional beings” created a supercomputer named Deep Thought to determine the answer to the “Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything.” Deep Thought eventually found the answer to be 42, an answer that made no sense because the Ultimate Question itself was not known. Because determining the Ultimate Question was too difficult even for Deep Thought, an even more advanced supercomputer was constructed for this purpose. This computer was the planet Earth, which was constructed by the Magratheans, and was five minutes away from finishing its task and figuring out the Ultimate Question when the Vogons destroyed it. The hyperintelligent superbeings participated in the program as mice, performing experiments on humans while pretending to be experimented on.

Slartibartfast takes Arthur to see his friends, who are at a feast hosted by Trillian’s pet mice. The mice reject as unnecessary the idea of building a new Earth to start the process over, deciding that Arthur’s brain likely contains the Ultimate Question. They offer to buy Arthur’s brain, leading to a fight when he declines. The group manages to escape when the planet’s security system goes off unexpectedly, but immediately run into the culprits: police in pursuit of Zaphod. The police corner Zaphod, Arthur, Ford and Trillian, and the situation seems desperate as they are trapped behind a computer bank that is about to explode from the officers’ weapons firing. However, the police officers suddenly die when their life-support systems short-circuit. Suspicious, Ford discovers on the surface that Marvin became bored and explained his view of the universe to the police officers’ spaceship, causing it to commit suicide. The five leave Magrathea and decide to go to The Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Friday, April 12, 2024

A Milestone 2.0

Last month I reached 60,000 Comments. I obviously blogged about it 😉 Not ONLY because I’m vain and egotistical and love attention, but because celebrating blogging milestones is a good way to keep the joy of blogging going. Seven years ago I celebrated the original Milestone. And today, despite my best efforts at pruning and cutting off spam accounts and business accounts and general no-good-scumbag accounts, I still reached 500.

I want to apologize to you all for this egregious error on my part. I tried really hard to prevent this from happening, I really did. I was rude to people in the comments. I wrote complete and utter nonsensical posts that didn’t even make sense to me. I posted “book reviews” for a solid month with nothing but the data about the book itself. I even proselytize on Christmas and Resurrection Sunday. And despite that all, 501 of you are stupid enough to keep on following me. I don’t know what I’m going to do with you all. Well, we all have our crosses to bear and I guess this is mine. But don’t think I’m going to like it or bear it gracefully.

On a serious note, I mentioned finding joy in blogging. That is deliberate on my part. WordPress.com has sucked the joy from blogging and to combat that, I have to look for the good in blogging. It doesn’t happen naturally, easily or miraculously. I know I focus on a lot of bad things that WP does, but I also want to try to focus on the good things of blogging. I want to encourage you to look for those little things too. Don’t get bogged down in the bad and quit. Anybody can quit. Gritting your teeth and soldiering on will only take you so far before the burden crushes you beneath its weight. So find the joy. Find the happiness in blogging. Be deliberately thankful for what you do have and don’t focus on what you don’t.

I have survived 5 or 6 platform changes since ’05 (Blogspot. Devilreads. Leafmarks, Booklikes. Librarything. WordPress). I have done that by being thankful for what I had at each platform at the time I was using it. I enjoyed the people I was with too. I’d love to be able to give you a checklist of Thankfulness, but that is going to differ from blogger to blogger because all of our needs are as different as we are. So figure out what your needs are and what you have to be thankful for.

I’d also like to say that sharing milestones isn’t egotistical. It gives other people encouragement and it gives them something to celebrate. Don’t take that away from others by hiding what you have accomplished under the guise of false humility. Be happy with that special post you just wrote, say you are happy about it and LET me be happy with you.

Ok, that’s enough of that. I’ll ruin my crusty curmudgeonly image if I say one more positive thing. So get off my blog lawn, you kids!

Thursday, April 11, 2024

Conan the Indomitable (Conan the Barbarian #17) 3Stars

Title: Conan the Indomitable
Series: Conan the Barbarian #17
Author: Steve Perry
Rating: 3 of 5 Stars
Genre: Fantasy
Pages: 191
Words: 63K

Conan falls into a hole in the ground and gets in the middle of a fight between a witch and a wizard. It was purely and completely idiotic and ridiculous. But it worked because there was so much fighting. Conan was killing monsters left, right, up, down, forwards and backwards. Any direction he could swing a sword, he could kill a monster.

Perry does his usual “completely incompetent magic user” thing but with two, it’s really twice as bad. I couldn’t understand why either of them wanted to rule a bunch of monsters and blind apes and vampire bats. And yep, they’re both close to 500 years old.

Thankfully, this was the last Conan story by Perry, so I’ll be moving on to some authors who just wrote a single Conan story. Usually that doesn’t bode well, but after the utter camp that Perry has turned Conan into, I’m ready for anything else, even if it’s bad. This book has fit in perfectly with the books from yesterday and the day before and it’s a piece of garbage even if I am giving it 3stars. Sword swinging and monster killing is worth a lot.

I’m still pretty crabby and I wondered if my giving this 3stars was overcompensating for being so grouchy. Maybe this is REALLY a 2star book but because I was feeling so mean about that I over corrected and ended up giving it 3stars instead. I DON’T THINK SO!!! The Great and Powerful Bookstooge is never wrong, NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

★★★☆☆

From Wikipedia

Conan and his companion, Elashi, find themselves pursued by pirates under the leadership of a hermaphroditic amalgamation of two lovers, who believe Conan’s sword can separate the couple back into their original state. The two men soon discover a subterranean world, where a beautiful sorceress named Chuntha and Katamay Rey, an evil necromancer, struggle for control over various intelligent creatures. The bizarre cave-dwellers include blind white apes, vampire bats, web-spinning plants, one-eyed monsters, burrowing lizards, mole-like beasts, and giant earthworms. The local balance of power is threatened by Conan’s arrival and various complications ensue, including a revolt by the enslaved creatures, before Conan can win his way back to the surface. One of the worms and a cyclops are featured sympathetically in a subplot.