Knowing this was going to be a collection of short stories, I deliberately set out to enjoy myself and to focus on the positives instead of whining about what wasn’t there. And it worked. I enjoyed the daylights of these stories.
Having three shorter stories really fit my mood this time around. I enjoyed the brisk pace of it all. Instead of meandering along while Archie casually pinches the police’s snozz, he does a quick snatch and grab and dashes off again to slap some hysterical broad.
Wolfe doesn’t get as much time to complain either. It’s like getting concentrated Wolfe in pill form.
I wouldn’t click the synopsis open if I were you. It’s close to 2000 words long.
Click to Open
The Next Witness
Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin are in court, having been subpoenaed to testify for the prosecution in a murder trial. Leonard Ashe has been accused of trying to hire Bagby Answers, Inc., a telephone answering service, to eavesdrop on his wife’s calls, and of killing employee Marie Willis when she refused to cooperate. The prosecutor intends to call Wolfe and Archie to testify that Wolfe turned down Ashe’s attempt to hire them to spy on his wife, actress Robina Keane.
Clyde Bagby, owner of the business, testifies that Marie had complained to him about Ashe’s request and was planning to tell Robina. Bagby tried unsuccessfully to dissuade Marie; later that same night, he learned from the police that she had been strangled to death at her switchboard. Wolfe abruptly exits the courtroom, followed by Archie, who reminds him that they are under subpoena and will almost certainly be charged with contempt of court for leaving. Wolfe, however, is convinced of Ashe’s innocence and wants to have no part in convicting him.
They visit the premises of Bagby Answers, finding the business to be located in an apartment with a bedroom for each operator due to employment regulations. Wolfe makes himself as obnoxious as possible in order to see how much incivility the employees will tolerate, and the detectives take notice of an original Van Gogh painting on a wall and a stack of racing forms on a table while questioning operators Bella Velardi and Alice Hart. From them, Wolfe and Archie learn that Helen Weltz, another operator, is spending the afternoon at a cottage in Westchester that she has rented for the summer.
Arriving at the cottage, they find a new Jaguar parked in front. Helen is accompanied by Guy Unger, an acquaintance of several of Bagby’s employees. Unger describes himself as a broker, but gives only a vague description of the business he transacts. Helen privately admits to Archie that she wants to get out of an uncomfortable situation, but is too frightened of Unger to give details. Archie persuades her to call Wolfe’s office that evening, then learns from Wolfe that Unger tried to pay him to drop the investigation into Marie’s murder.
Wolfe and Archie return to the city, but cannot go to the brownstone because a warrant has been issued for their arrest. They take shelter at Saul Panzer’s apartment for the night, and Wolfe meets with Robina to persuade her to visit Ashe and take him with her. She agrees, promising not to tell Ashe’s attorney. Archie gets a call from Helen, relayed to him by Fritz Brenner, and picks her up from Grand Central Station in order to interview her out of Unger’s presence. Wolfe and Robina meet with Ashe shortly before the trial resumes the following morning.
Once called to the witness stand, Wolfe tricks the prosecutor into asking a question that both allows him to explain his theory of the crime and forces the judge to dismiss the contempt charge. Based on the operators’ behavior during his visit and the evidence of their lavish spending, he concluded that Bagby and Unger were using the answering service to blackmail clients by having the employees listen in on calls and gather compromising information. Helen had confirmed these facts to Archie the previous night. However, the plan would only succeed if every operator took part; anyone who showed hesitation could potentially expose the scheme. When Marie acted against Bagby’s orders and turned down Ashe’s request to spy on his wife, one of her co-workers strangled her to keep her quiet. Wolfe suspected Bagby of committing the murder and luring Ashe to the office so that he would be found with the body and arrested.
Bagby, Unger, Helen, Bella, and Alice are detained for questioning, Ashe is acquitted, and Bagby is ultimately convicted of Marie’s murder without the need of any further testimony from Wolfe. Archie reflects that Wolfe’s exit from the courtroom may have been motivated less by a desire to see justice done than by the discomfort of having to sit next to a woman wearing too much perfume.
When A Man Murders
Sidney Karnow has returned from the dead. In 1951 he enlisted in the Army and was sent to Korea as a soldier in the infantry. Injured in battle, he was left for dead by retreating American forces, but in fact was only stunned. Karnow was taken prisoner by the enemy, but after a couple of years he escaped to Manchuria and lived there in a village until the truce. Then he made his way to South Korea and was sent home by the Army.
Unusual enough by itself, but Karnow was also a millionaire. He had inherited money from his parents but felt that he should serve in the military. Before enlisting, he had met and married Caroline, who now calls on Wolfe along with her new husband, Paul Aubry. Caroline and Paul are in a terrible spot: Karnow’s return from the dead apparently voids their marriage, and they have spent a large portion of Caroline’s inheritance to set Paul up in business as a car dealer. They have decided to offer what is left of the inheritance, plus the dealership, to Karnow in return for his consent to a divorce.
Paul has gone to Karnow’s hotel room to put the proposition to him, but got cold feet before knocking on the door. He discusses the situation once again with Caroline, and they decide to come to Wolfe for help. Wolfe explains that he is a detective, not a lawyer, but Aubry replies that “We want you to detect a way of getting Karnow to accept our proposition.”
Ignoring Aubry’s diction, Wolfe sends Archie, along with Aubry and Caroline, to the Hotel Churchill to put the proposition to Karnow. Archie leaves the clients in the bar and goes upstairs to Karnow’s room, gets no answer to his knock, tries the doorknob and finds it unlocked. When he enters, he finds Karnow, shot dead, and a gun lying a few feet away. Archie leaves the room as he found it, collects the clients and returns to the brownstone, where Purley Stebbins soon shows up. Archie, Paul and Caroline were seen at the hotel where Karnow’s body was just found.
Stebbins takes Paul and Caroline for questioning (although Wolfe and Archie insist that he do so from the sidewalk: Wolfe will not tolerate a client, even a potential client, being taken into custody inside his house). Archie follows shortly thereafter, and as he is waiting to meet with the DA, he encounters Caroline’s in-laws: Karnow’s Aunt Margaret, cousins Anne and Richard, and Anne’s husband Norman Horne. With them is Jim Beebe, Sidney’s lawyer and executor. Archie learns nothing from them except that Anne Horne has a facetious sense of humor.
Archie has no information for ADA Mandelbaum and Inspector Cramer, and shortly after he returns home Caroline rings the doorbell. She brings the news that the police have arrested Paul for Karnow’s murder, and she wants to hire Wolfe to clear him. Wolfe accepts, but needs to knows more about Karnow’s relatives. They had received bequests in Karnow’s will, stood to lose those bequests when he turned up alive, and therefore had motive. Caroline knows little about them except that they had always depended on Karnow’s support, and have not managed their inheritances prudently. Wolfe sends Archie to bring them to the office.
Archie tries Beebe first but can’t corral him, and has no better luck with Karnow’s Aunt Margaret and his cousin Richard. When he calls on cousin Anne, he gets more of her persiflage. Trying to draw her out, he lets her read his palm – and then her husband Norman returns to their apartment. Anne slows Archie down just enough that Norman, unencumbered, can clip Archie in the jaw. Then Archie decks Norman, and leaves.
Finally Wolfe hears from Saul Panzer, who has been investigating a different side of the problem. Wolfe has Archie phone Inspector Cramer, and gives him the choice of bringing all involved to Wolfe’s office, or declining to cooperate and letting Wolfe work through the DA’s office. Cramer chooses the former option. In the traditional meeting with the suspects in Wolfe’s office, Wolfe makes public what Saul has turned up: an unwitting but crucial witness to the motive for Karnow’s murder.
Die Like A Dog
It’s a rainy day in Manhattan, and Richard Meegan has grabbed the wrong raincoat after getting the brushoff from Nero Wolfe. Meegan came to the brownstone to hire Wolfe, apparently on the sort of marital matter that Wolfe won’t touch. Now Archie Goodwin wants to get his raincoat back: it’s newer than the one Meegan left behind.
As Archie approaches Meegan’s small apartment house on Arbor Street[1] in the Village, he sees police near the front, including Sgt. Purley Stebbins. Opting for discretion, Archie starts back home when he realizes he’s being tailed by a friendly black Labrador. It’s windy enough that Archie’s hat blows off his head and across the street, but the dog risks its life retrieving it. After that, Archie can’t bring himself to shoo the dog, so he takes him back to the brownstone.
And there, in the office, Archie discovers that Wolfe likes dogs. With what passes in Wolfe for fondness, he recalls that he had a mutt in Montenegro, one with a rather narrow skull. This Labrador has a much broader skull – Wolfe asserts that it’s for brain room, and decides that the dog is to be named Jet. Then Fritz reports that Jet has excellent manners in the kitchen. Wolfe has one-upped Archie once again: he would enjoy keeping the dog, but can blame Archie for any problem it causes.
Now Cramer appears at the front door, wanting to know about a dog. A man named Philip Kampf was murdered in the Arbor Street apartment house. Kampf had owned a black Labrador, and a policeman noticed that the dog left with Goodwin. Hence Cramer’s questions: Meegan, who saw Wolfe that morning, lives in the apartment house where Kampf was murdered, and Archie has Kampf’s dog. Wolfe and Archie describe the day’s events for Cramer, who wants more but will wait until the next day.
That evening, looking for a rationale to keep Jet, Wolfe sends Archie for Richard Meegan. But Meegan doesn’t answer the buzzer, and when another man leaves the apartment house, Archie follows him.
Archie catches up, introduces himself, and points out that the man’s being followed by a police detective. Grateful, the man introduces himself as Victor Talento. Archie wants to know where he’s going, and Talento tells him that he’s meeting a young woman. Her name is Jewel Jones, and Talento asks Archie to go in his place, and tell her that Talento couldn’t make it – Talento doesn’t want the police to see them meet.
Archie agrees, meets up with Miss Jones, and since he can’t bring Meegan to Wolfe, brings her instead. When they enter Wolfe’s office, all three get a surprise: Jet, who has been keeping Wolfe company, runs to Miss Jones and stands in front of her, wagging his tail.
So she knows Jet, and therefore Kampf, and Wolfe pries it out of her that she knew him intimately – and in fact lived for almost a year in the Arbor Street apartment house where Kampf was killed. She knows, less well, three of the men who live there: Talento, Jerome Åland, and Ross Chaffee.
Archie interviews Åland, Meegan and Chaffee separately. From Meegan he learns more about his reason for seeing Wolfe: Meegan comes from Pittsburgh, and his wife left him – completely disappeared – about a year earlier. Not long ago Meegan saw a painting of a woman in a Pittsburgh museum, and he’s sure it was his wife. He tracked down the artist, Ross Chaffee, and asked him about the model he used. Chaffee couldn’t remember the model, but Meegan did not believe him and, to stay close by, rented the empty apartment in the Arbor Street building where Chaffee lives.
Archie takes a blind, but successful, stab at finding the painting and learns that it belongs to a Manhattan collector. He calls on the collector, gets a look at the painting, and sees in it a woman who looks a lot like Jewel Jones. Archie brings her to the office. Informed that she sat for the painting, and is therefore Meegan’s missing wife, Wolfe speaks with Chaffee by phone. He threatens to turn Miss Jones over to the police but gives Chaffee the option of bringing the other three tenants with him to Wolfe’s office.
With the Arbor Street residents collected, Wolfe zeros in on the murderer, and along the way explains the dog’s strange behavior, particularly that it followed Archie from the apartment house.
